Examples of a Positive Attitude

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Having a positive attitude, which is choosing to approach difficult circumstances
with a productive mindset, can benefit you on several levels. The Mayo Clinic
states that a positive attitude can lower your stress level, which is good for your
health. A positive attitude can also improve your relationships and change how
your boss perceives both you and your work. An article published in the January
2007 Gallup Management Journal notes that the components of a positive attitude,
collectively called positive psychological capital, can be learned.

Hope
The Gallup Management Journal defines hope as the ability to stay focused on
your goals and change paths when needed to succeed. Hope is perseverance.
People with a positive attitude are able to look through the difficulties they face
today and believe they can find a way through or around those difficulties. To learn
hope, focus on goals that are challenging, yet attainable and brainstorm multiple
ways to achieve those goals. Recognize that you can influence your forward
movement and sustain your activities until you reach your goals.

Optimism
People with a positive attitude exhibit optimism, the belief in the best possible
outcome of a decision or action and that negative circumstances are temporary.
Optimism must be grounded in reality; for example, a person cannot jump from a
tree and optimistically expect to overcome the laws of gravity. Optimism can be
taught, according to the University of Pennsylvania Positive Psychology Center.
Teach yourself to challenge failures, analyzing the components that led to the
failure. Take ownership for the components that you control and recognize and
release the components that you could not have controlled.

Resiliency
Positive people exhibit resiliency, the ability to “bounce back” from
difficult circumstances. The American Psychological Association found that
resiliency, or hardiness, has three attitudinal components: commitment, control and
challenge. Commitment is the willingness to stay engaged rather than become
isolated during hard times, choosing to be involved in life’s next step.
Control is the willingness to try and influence the outcome of challenging
circumstances, such as talking to your boss about the many different roles you can
fill when the possibility of lay-offs occur. Challenge is the ability to view each
situation as an opportunity to learn.

Confidence
Confidence, or self-efficacy, is the belief that you can influence the outcome of a
particular situation, according to Carleton College. People with a positive attitude
are confident that they can face challenges and believe that overcoming them is
within their control. To increase your confidence, put yourself in situations that you
can master, break difficult tasks down into manageable pieces, and mimic
behaviors of people who have achieved success.

How Can a Bad Attitude Affect a Dating

Relationship?
Having an “attitude of gratitude” does not come naturally to some people,
especially in dating relationships. If you have been hurt in the past or lack
confidence in yourself or your partner, this can lead to a bad attitude. Although your
feelings may be legitimate, this type of attitude can negatively affect your dating
relationships, including your behavior toward your partner.

Attitude and Behavior

Your attitude affects your behavior in many ways. "Bitterness hurts, emotionally,
spiritually and physically," clinical psychologist and marriage counselor Randi
Gunther writes in "Psychology Today" in her article "Bitterness: Love's Poison." If
you have a negative attitude -- for example, if you are cynical about relationships,
then you will behave accordingly. For instance, your cynical attitude might lead you
to make snide remarks toward your partner or make comments indicating that you
do not trust him. Likewise, if you have a negative attitude, this might lead you to be
impatient with your partner or lose your temper during minor disagreements.

Negativity Begets Negativity

If you are persistently negative toward your partner, it is likely that you will get
negative feedback in return. “How information is exchanged between couples…--
whether with warmth or negativity -- clearly affects outcomes of how you feel when
you walk away from the experience,” explains Dr. Julie Chen in the "Huffington
Post" piece, "How Negative Thoughts Affect Everything in Our Life." Additionally,
when you approach your partner with a negative attitude, it is possible that he or
she will become defensive or hurt by your words and behavior, particularly if your
negativity is stemming from past issues, not problems with your current partner.

Problem-Solving Skills
MayoClinic.com explains that replacing negative thoughts with positive ones
increases your ability to deal with stressful situations and solve problems
constructively. In other words, when you have negative thought patterns, you may
be less able to resolve common conflicts that come up in dating relationships,
including differences in opinion, jealousy and scheduling conflicts. At later stages in
the dating relationship when the stakes are higher, negativity might make it difficult
for you to compromise with your partner or find mutual resolutions to problems.

Changing Your Attitude

Attitude is not a fixed trait. In other words, you can make a conscious effort to
change a bad attitude into a positive one. If you find that you are attracting negative
dating partners or have difficulty keeping a partner because of your attitude, take
time to examine both your beliefs and your behaviors. One simple way to do this is
to look at your “automatic thoughts” -- that is, those ideas that pop into your head
without conscious effort, explains Robert Safion, LMHC in his private practice's
article "Automatic Thoughts, Intermediate and Core Beliefs." For example, if you
tell yourself “my boyfriend is going to cheat on me,” take note every time you think
this and replace it with a more positive thought, such as “my new boyfriend has
been nothing but trustworthy and honest.”