Air Date: 1/20/2020

The Upgrade by Lifehacker

Episode 112 - The All-Upgrades Episode

Melissa ​Hello and welcome to The Upgrade, the podcast from the team at Lifehacker,
where we help you improve your life one week at a time. I'm Melissa Kirsch, editor in chief
of Lifehacker.

Alice ​And I'm Alice Bradley, Lifehacker's deputy editor.

Melissa ​And today, we're bringing you an all upgrades episode of The Upgrade.

Alice ​That's right. We heard from so many of you through our survey that your favorite
segment is the Upgrade of the Week.

Melissa ​So we thought, why not do an entire episode of Upgrades of the Week?

Alice ​Who could stop us?

Melissa ​No one can stop us. Our producer, Micaela spent her entire holiday. That's right.
She was in the office when the office was closed and the heat was off. The electricity was
off and the water was off. As happens over holidays.

Alice ​Shut it all down.

Melissa ​Yup. She was combing through our archives and selected some of the best
upgrades of the week from past episodes. And we're going to revisit them today. We'll
check in on the status of our brilliant resolutions from episodes past and see if those things
that we bought that changed our lives are still changing our lives now.

Alice ​We have not heard these ourselves for quite some time, so this should be
interesting.

Melissa ​We're holding ourselves accountable for our own life upgrades.

Alice ​And after our journey down memory lane, we'll have, as always, our latest upgrades
of the week.

Melissa ​You're gonna be so totally upgraded by the end of this episode, you'll be perfect.

Melissa ​So, Alice, every week at the end of the show, we go around the table and
everyone present says one tiny thing that's making a big difference in their lives.

Alice ​That's right. Sometimes it's so tiny that our listeners make fun of us.

Melissa ​That's right. Yes. And frequently we are really excited about a particular upgrade.
Say it's an app or a new thing that we're doing. And no one ever knows if we have kept
getting up with the sun or if we're actually now sleeping till noon.

Alice ​Right. Have they stood the test of time?

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Melissa ​Exactly. Were they really upgrades? Were they downgrades? Were they
ambitious and destined to fail?

Alice ​We're going to find out.

Melissa ​Let's hear the first one.

Virginia ​Alice, what's your upgrade?

Alice ​I this week. This is huge for me. I have embraced inbox zero. I always thought it was
a myth. I didn't think it was real. But my usual co-host, Melissa Kirsch, editor in chief of
Lifehacker, taught me how to use Inbox Zero to help me become more organized. And I
have done it. It's only been a few days, but I honestly feel like it's changed my use of
email.

Ken Plume ​What is inbox zero, exactly? Because it implies that you're just deleting all.

Alice ​It implies that. But that is not in fact what it is. I declared email amnesty and archived
everything. So everything's in the archives. It's there, but it's not in my inbox.

Ken Plume ​Okay.

Alice ​So then whenever something comes in, I put it in a folder. So every item that comes
in is like part of my to do list now. So everything that comes in, I have to immediately reply
or archive or hit spam. If it spam like I've got to take an action with it.

Alice ​Okay. So that was an episode with a podcast or Ken Plume and that was managing
editor Virginia Smith on with me. And I got to say, that's one that I have done since then.
I've maintained inbox zero and I'm pretty proud of myself about that.

Melissa ​I am just over here in awe that when I am not here. You.

Alice ​I talk about you so lovingly?

Melissa ​Yes, that you. Well, first of all, that you steal my upgrades, no, that you, you
know, call upon my teachings.

Alice ​Yes.

Melissa ​I am not surprised that this is still working for you. No. So tell me about it. What
what is your your procedure?

Alice ​So every day. So it's you know, you you only have so you don't have a giant inbox
full of stuff. So it went once I declared amnesty and archived everything, I was I had a
clean slate. And so every day when I get whatever number of emails it is, I just go through
each one, one by one by one and archive them, put them in a folder, delete them, send
them to spam. I do something with them. So everything is a is an item in my to do list.
Basically, as you as you taught me, Melissa. And if I don't have an immediate action, but I
know I have to take action, I boomerang it or now there's a snooze function on Gmail as
well. You can do this with where you set a schedule for it to come back into your inbox
whenever you're ready for that. Yeah. And it's been it works. It works really well. My inbox

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is so much less stressful. I don't lose things anymore. I got to say, it feels it feels good to
start a on a win.

Melissa ​And you don't have like a badge on your mail app that says like ten thousand nine
hundred forty three like those other heathens?

Alice ​Exactly. I have no badge. It's.

Melissa ​It's amazing.

Alice ​Zero.

Melissa ​I highly endorse inbox zero.

Alice ​All right. So are we ready for the next one, Melissa?

Melissa ​I think so.

Melissa ​So my upgrade is humility. Yesterday, I had an experience that made me realize
the value of humility and compassion. As you know, I have been riding a pedal assist bike
to and from work. And it's fantastic. But yesterday it was like 98 degrees when we were
heading home from work.

Alice ​Real hot.

Melissa ​Real, real hot. And the pedal assist function, which, you know, gives you an extra
burst of energy, pooped out on the hill coming up to the Manhattan Bridge. So I had to bike
on my own steam on a very heavy bike because pedal assist bikes and all e-bikes are very
heavy. You know, I have been zipping over the bridge on this pedal assist bike, zipping
past people on the bike-share bikes, zipping past the guys in Lycra. And I've been acting
like this is my own power that is allowing me to pass them. And I've felt a little bit of
irritation at people who are going slowly and as soon as the power cut out, not only was I a
person who had to go up on their own energy, but I was actually I'm like a really heavy
bike on a really hot day and hadn't been expecting it. So I was super duper slow and
people were passing me, passing me, passing me, passing me. And I felt humbled. And I
felt like, you know, it's as if I've had a magic power and the magic power was suddenly
lifted. And I felt compassion for the people who go slowly because I am one of them
without this aid. And I felt like I'm so grateful in the same way that I forget to be grateful for
things like the fact that I can walk. I should be really, really grateful for the fact that I have
this power to go fast and easy up a hill, because when it was taken away, I felt like a real
heel.

Alice ​So has this lesson stayed with you?

Melissa ​Has this lesson stayed with me? You know, I think it actually absolutely has not.
And I really needed a refresher because this morning, in fact, I was. I don't know if I want
to tell this it's so unflattering.

Alice ​I know that. Yeah.

Melissa ​Do you know what happened?

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Alice ​I, no. I want to.

Melissa ​OK. So this morning, in fact, I was racing to get to work and I was less than
compassionate. Less than grateful. Pretty rude, I would say to my fellow commuters. I was
racing to get on an elevator in my subway station. And these elevators are really, really
old. You have to take the elevator down to the subway tracks. So sometimes it involves
waiting. You might miss your train while you're waiting for this elevator and an elevator's
doors were closing as I went through the turnstile. There was a woman in front of me. We
both ran for the elevator and they weren't all the way closed. They were just beginning to
close. So she could have easily just slipped in. And then I would have the doors would
have opened again and been triggered to open again. I would have slipped in behind her.
Instead, she just stopped at the door and let the doors close. And I reached over her and
put my arm in the door and said, "stop it" or something. And I was sort of talking to the
people in the elevator, you know, when the elevator doors are closing and everyone in the
elevator is like standing,.

Alice ​Just like looking at you.

Melissa ​Yeah. Like just like nothing I can do about it. It's like you have control of the door.
Open button. Anyway, I was racing. I was irritated by my fellow commuters and I felt really
bad for the entire trip to work. Like, why did I have to go so quickly? Granted, I could have
ended up waiting five minutes or something for another elevator because they're really
slow. But this is all to say. I needed this refresher, you know?

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​Like if I were the person who was afraid of stepping into elevator doors that were
closing. You know, I probably would've felt bad that, you know, some busybody behind me
was taking matters into their own hands.

Alice ​Maybe she was frozen in terror waiting for you to do it for her.

Melissa ​Yeah. I mean maybe, I don't know. I just kind of felt like she—I had so many
feelings about her. Like, what are you doing? You know, like, why aren't you in a massive
rush and why aren't you thinking about me behind you? You know? So, yeah, I'm going to
meditate on that a little bit.

Alice ​Yeah. All right. So I gave you a valuable reminder.

Melissa ​That's right. Let's hear another.

Alice ​Yeah.

Alice ​So I've been having a little bit of a rough time going to sleep. And now I've decided
the reason is because I'm not taking sleep seriously enough. So I have started to treat
sleep like I'm going to work. I have a whole ritual. I dim the lights, no overhead lights for an
hour before I go to bed. I take CBD oil a little bit, which is apparently totally legal. Don't
come after me feds. I drink natural calm, which is a magnesium supplement. I think.
Melissa, I think you recommended this to me a while ago. I have a lavender diffuser in my

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bedroom. I also have a lavender aroma therapy bomb and I have a sleep mask. So it's like
18 different things to see before going to bed. And it works.

Alice ​God, I hate myself right now. I hate me.

Melissa ​I want to know about your sleep hygiene. And if you've kept it up.

Alice ​First of all, I just picture. I just imagine somebody listening to this thinking like, "what
a dick".

Melissa ​I imagine somebody listening to this and being like—

Alice ​What a princess.

Melissa ​—Remember when we thought CBD was—

Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​Illegal?

Alice ​It could have been illegal if this was how long this must have been a year or so ago.

Melissa ​A lifetime.

Alice ​It feels like a lifetime. So some things I have kept I definitely still dim the lights.
They'll do that because that is very helpful to me. I ran out of CBD oil, didn't notice an
appreciable difference without it and realized it's kind of pricey. So have not kept that up.
My diffuser got gross, so I stopped using it. Probably should just clean it out. I still have the
scented bomb that I use occasionally, but you know, it's things have really slipped and I
gotta say, I'm feeling the impact. I got to go back to being a princess. I think.

Melissa ​Really are you.

Alice ​With my mask.

Melissa ​Are you not sleeping as well?

Alice ​I am not sleeping as well. I am waking up constantly in the middle of the night like I
think something is off. I suspect it's my caffeine intake, which I've also been working on,
drinking caffeine a little too late in the day. And it wakes me up throughout the night.

Melissa ​Hmm.

Alice ​Also all the heavy drinking. No I don't really do that. But occasionally even like a
glass of wine or two, we also really impact my sleep.

Melissa ​Welcome to middle age.

Alice ​God damn it. All right. Well, that was that was humbling. Speaking of humility, do
you wanna hear the next one?

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Melissa ​I do.

Melissa ​OK. So I am going to recommend a product this week. I don't know if you guys
are following the advice of it's debatable who said it in their graduation speech. But wear
sunscreen. Are you always wearing sunscreen, Alice?

Alice ​Always. Always and forever.

Melissa ​All right. Well, I use Retin-A so I have to wear sunscreen. Otherwise, I'll get like a
broiled face. And the problem with facial sunscreen, I find is that like if it moves on your
face at all, you end up with the horrible affliction lotion eye, which is sunscreen in your eye.
And it's horrible. I have discovered a sunscreen that does not budge. The brand is
COOLA. C-O-O-L-A. and they have a facial sunscreen that is cucumber scented.
Allegedly. It has this scent that I find delightful. I was speaking to somebody else who also
loves cool a facial sunscreen. And I said, "yeah, that cucumber, it smells amazing. Right?"
And she was like, "well, that one kind of smells like a fake banana scent," which is exactly
what it smells like. Which sort of ruined the scent for me, but has not ruined the experience
of putting sunscreen on my face that is very thin and creamy and moisturizing. And best of
all, doesn't give me lotion eye. So COOLA cucumber scented sunscreen.

Melissa ​So I still wear the COOLA cucumber scented facial sunscreen every day. And that
episode was 2017.

Alice ​That was one of our first ones.

Melissa ​Yeah. And it was with Andy Boyle who wrote that book, How to Be an Adult.
You're welcome, Andy. For that plug. Yeah, I wear sunscreen every day. I wouldn't go
outside without it, even on a rainy day. And you know that fake banana scent?

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​I still love it.

Alice ​You love that scent!

Melissa ​I love that scent. I think it's a great sunscreen. You know, people have talked
about Super Goop and other sunscreen brands. Not interested. I found my sunscreen.

Alice ​You're sticking with it.

Melissa ​Sticking with it.

Alice ​Very nice.

Melissa ​OK.

Alice ​So far, we're pretty smug about all these.

Melissa ​It's true. Well.

Alice ​Well.

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Melissa ​Yeah. OK, give us another, Micaela.

Alice ​I've got a very small upgrade. But as I said in the introduction, these are tiny things
that are making a big difference in our lives. So for me, it has been a reframing technique
that I've been using on myself. Instead of thinking I HAVE to do something, I think I GET to
do that thing.

Melissa ​Give us an example.

Alice ​Like, I have to go to the gym. I get to go to the gym. I have to go to work. I get to go
to work.

Melissa ​Well.

Alice ​I have to go to sleep. I get to sleep wherever it is.

Melissa ​Yeah. And then you think of all of the ways in which you should be grateful that
you will get to.

Alice ​And that I actually want to, too. It's not even so much like the burden of gratefulness
of like you gotta.

Melissa ​We've talked about that, yeah.

Alice ​I mean, I like. I mean, my my journal.

Melissa ​Yeah, your gratitude journal.

Alice ​My gratitude journal. Sure. I don't have one of those. I don't really like the pressure
of feeling like, you know, I'm so grateful. But it's more like, no, I actually do want to do
these things. I just get into the habit of thinking I have to. And that's just a stressful way of
framing it. So I get to.

Alice ​Once again, I find myself listening to these past episodes and just hating myself.

Melissa ​That was the actual point.

Alice ​How much more to.

Melissa ​This is? This is a self love intervention. You love yourself too much.

Alice ​Man, oh man.

Melissa ​And we are here to take you down a peg.

Alice ​"I don't have to. I get to." I can't say I have done this consistently. I do remember it
and do think about it occasionally when I'm really feeling like my day is a slog. You know, I
do have a little internal slap on the face. Stop it. You get to you're lucky you get to do all
these things. You get to podcast. You get to. You get to be with Melissa every day.

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Melissa ​When you dread it? When you dread being with Melissa?

Alice ​When I'm like, oh, I have to go chat with Melissa. No. Yeah. I so I can't say it's it's
like it's changed. It changed me. And now I'm just forever grateful for everything. But it is
sort of a practice that I've kind of continued and I still hate myself for that clip so.

Melissa ​Okay. We're gonna work on that self-hatred zero like inbox zero. That's our goal.

Alice ​Self compassion.

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Alice ​All right, Melissa, you're ready for one?

Melissa ​I guess.

Alice ​Micaela, hit us.

Melissa ​So my upgrade is returning to something that I should have been doing all along,
which is wearing my night guard. I grind my teeth. I thought it was a terribly shameful habit.
And that was revealing of some kind of like darkness inside of me and anxiety that I wasn't
aware of. When I found out the reason why I had a headache all the time was that I was
grinding my teeth down to dust. And so I was given a very unattractive sort of like field
hockey player type night guard to wear.

Anne Lamott ​You're like Hannibal Lecter.

Melissa ​Exactly. Yeah. They gave me the mask, too. I don't wear that. And I don't like
wearing it. It like snaps into your mouth. I call the process snapping in like, okay I'm
snapping in for the night. And it's just not comfortable. It's not sexy. And you can't talk with
it in your mouth. It's it's a bad situation. But if I don't wear it, I get not only a headache, but
an earache that is so painful, I can't even touch my ear. So I've committed to wearing it
every night and I have been wearing it every night. Even though it's harder to fall asleep
and things are better.

Alice ​Well.

Melissa ​So I think that was Anne Lamott murmuring in the background there. So since
that episode, I have gotten a new night guard because I bit through. I fell on the floor and it
broke, but it was probably weakened because I was grinding into it. I got a new night
guard, the one I had before went all the way around my top teeth. The new one just goes
over like the front few teeth. And it's better. It's less intrusive. It's still not an attractive look
for bad or definitely daytime, but it really works. And then whenever I don't wear it, I get the
same amount of pain. And I've been really, really good about wearing it. So, yes, bruxists.
That's the formal term. If you're a bruxist or a brux-er, I think brexists like like a brutalist.

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Alice ​Engaging in Brexit.

Melissa ​Yeah. If you are engaging in Brexit, also known as teeth grinding. You get like a
cheap night guard made by like, I don't know Dr. Scholls, but, you know, that kind of thing
at the drugstore. I hope that you boil in water to make it soft and then you mold it to your
teeth like you can get them cheaply. But if you're a really big bruxist like I am. Go to your
dentist get one made.

Alice ​You think it's worth it to go to the dentist?

Melissa ​Absolutely, I do. If you're committed to never having a headache again.

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​I think I definitely go to the dentist. You're gonna need some money because I'm
positive dental insurance doesn't cover it because it doesn't cover anything.

Alice ​Right, and it's not like it's necessary. You just have headaches all the time.

Melissa ​Exactly. You know. I know. I know. I mean, in New York City, it's probably more
expensive. It's like a four hundred dollar investment. So, you know, you don't take that
lightly. But what's more important? Let's hear another one.

Alice ​So I feel like I'm in this is kind of a remedial upgrade, you're can be like. Yeah, duh.
But I am one of those people who when I start reading a book, I finish it and I've been
reading this book. I'm not going to say the name it's not important. And it's not a book
anyone would have heard of. It was like, you know, recommended to me on the Kindle
app. And I was like "that looks interesting" and it won like a ton of awards and stuff. I'm
like, "alright". And it's just one of those books that just feels like somebody got their MFA
and it shows in this book. Like it's just one of those writing program. Like every simile is
used. It's like that person is like an luxuriating, in their words, in a way that felt
self-congratulatory and smug. And it just is phony baloney book was making me so mad.
So I realized I can quit. I can stop reading it.

Melissa ​Oh.

Alice ​And that's my upgrade. I just stopped reading it.

Alice ​Wow. OK. I'm now I'm really curious about what this book was so angry about.

Melissa ​Yeah.

Alice ​I have to say, I don't think I've dropped a book since then. I just don't do it. So this
one was from about a year ago, I think.

Melissa ​Or more. Yeah.

Alice ​Yeah, yeah. This one was partially from a year and half ago I'd say, and except for
the occasional book that I kind of rifle through at work and I think this is not worth my time.
If I'm going to buy a book, I generally commit to it until it's over.

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Melissa ​Wow.

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​I am so impressed by you.

Alice ​I'm just a very good person.

Melissa ​But wait, you haven't wanted to put a book aside?

Alice ​Oh, no, I have. Well, I think I told you recently about a book that I was an audio book
were listening to that was 24 hours long. And I was thinking the entire time. This has got to
be worth it. And then at the end, I realized it really hadn't been worth it. But I don't I don't I
get I get I want to know how the story goes, even if it's not a great book. I think in that
case, though, from the cues that I can gather, the literary ness tells me that probably didn't
have much of a story. It was just more character based or something. And I just it wasn't
enough to even keep my attention. So, yeah. But maybe I need a little more little more
droppin' of books.

Melissa ​I don't know if it's not bothering you.

Alice ​You know, I I like to finish a book.

Melissa ​I would like to get some 5 pointers from you, maybe in another episode of how to
read more and how to read faster and how to be committed to reading. Because I start a
lot of books that I don't finish.

Alice ​Well, you know, my problem with books, though, is that I'll read them really fast and
then I won't recall any of them.

Melissa ​I don't recall them either. And I have read them very slow, slowly.

Alice ​Well, then. Then I'm not sure how to work. Maybe we should do an episode on this?

Melissa ​Maybe.

Alice ​How to be a better reader?

Melissa ​Yeah. I think if you want to hear an episode about how to read more or be a better
reader, you should let us know because that's the type of episode we would not do
because we think only we cared about it, you know. But I would like to hear from people if
they want to hear now that episode. So drop us a line upgrade at Lifehacker dot com.

Alice ​Give us a ring, ringle dingle. What?

Melissa ​Yeah, do it.

Alice ​All right. Ready for next one?

Melissa ​Yeah.

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Alice ​Melissa. What's your upgrade this week?

Melissa ​I am magnetizing things that are not magnetized.

Alice ​What?

Melissa ​Yeah, I bought a roll of magnet. It's like a roll of tape about an inch and a half
wide. And it's magnet on one side and sticking on the other side. So and I have been
sticking magnet in places where I wish I had easy access to things that are metal, namely
the inside of my medicine cabinet. And then I felt like, well, why stop there? I'm going to
stick a strip of metal on the inside of my kitchen cabinet. And, you know, I'm going to put
their lids like lids to mason jars, the strip of magnet sticks. If you ca n dream it, you can
magnetize it. No, I I'm thinking, you know, I have sort of a Pinterest-y idea in my head
where I'm going to have like a strip of magnet on the wall over my desk that I will use as
sort of a bulletin board ish kind of thing. Like I will hang with magnets, notes and postcards
and it will be extremely devil may care. A devil may care bulletin board over my desk.

Alice ​I love this one because I think it's peak, Melissa.

Melissa ​I mean, did I make a devil may care bulletin board over my desk? The answer is
no. I did not do that.

Alice ​Why not?

Melissa ​I have no idea because now I'm really excited to do it again. I am a little bit
concerned that the adhesive on the back of the magnetic strip will rip the paint off the wall.
And I am a renter. So it's a concern. However, I'd like to update everybody. Yes. The
moment you leaving for his now I'd like to update you on the status of my other magnetic
hanging points.

Alice ​Let's hear it.

Melissa ​Inside of the medicine cabinet. I put manicure, scissors, tweezers, toenail clipper.
It's still an amazing situation. I love having those things there. They are easy access. They
look kind of cute. Now, a bad idea was the magnetic strip on the kitchen cupboard where I
thought I could put lids to mason jars. They don't really want to be up there either. Yeah.
I'm like, how many like how big is your cabinet? How many mason jar lids are going to fit
horizontally across. On your New York City apartment kitchen cabinet.

Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​Not that many.

Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​So. That was a bust. There is still a magnetic strip there. I don't know what to put
on it. Do you have any ideas?

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Alice ​I just had this—I keep picturing you with this roll off the magnetic strip, just gleefully
dancing through your apartment, putting them on different surfaces, putting things on them
going "yay!".

Melissa ​No, I think I was being a little hyperbolic when I said I was magnetized on
everything. I think I had magnetized two things and I was planning to magnetized a lot
more. I hope I have not lost my strip of magnet because that would be a real tragedy.

Alice ​Where did you get it?

Melissa ​I'm sure I ordered it online, but it's also possible that I impulse spotted in a
hardware store.

Alice ​OK. All right. Yeah, I got I've got to get this because the inside of the bathroom
cabinet, that's kind of a brilliant idea. Kind of brilliant.

Melissa ​Thank you.

Alice ​You're welcome.

Melissa ​Let's hear one of yours.

Melissa ​Alice, what's your upgrade?

Alice ​I'm trying to assume good intent in everyone, even people who's clearly not
intending—

Melissa ​You're looking right at me.

Alice ​—good things. I'm not even blinking. I just my eyes are laser focused on Melissa.
No, I you know, I just I find myself being annoyed so much at random people. You know,
people bump into you, people in the subway, people who exist. I just want to smash them
so much.

Melissa ​Right.

Alice ​It's because I'm thinking, you know, this person's getting in my way because they
hate me. You know something? I hate this kind of knee jerk, irrational feeling that I get.

Melissa ​Yep.

Alice ​So I've been just sort of like, nope, I'm just gonna assume good intent and everyone
or if you know, somebody, whatever. My husband does a thing I don't know, forgets to
unload the dishwasher. I'm not going to assume he's doing that to thwart me.

Alice ​Wow. I would say this is something like the reframing technique that we were talking
about previously where I'm not successful doing this all the time, but I do think about it
frequently because my first impulse is to be mad at people. And then I do think, you know,
I don't know what's going on their heads. Why would I assume some sort of malice when
nothing is nothing's going on? Probably nothing is going on. Assuming good intent is
probably a little strong. We just assume neutral or they're not thinking about you at all,

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which is probably more realistic. So, yeah, I would call this not quite a win for The
Upgrade, but. But something something in the middle.

Melissa ​I like it as a reminder, you know, it reminds me of a quote that I had written in the
notebook as a teenager. That was something like, "the forces at play are conspiring in your
favor" or something. It was just like it was a reframing like look at look at things as likely to
go your way rather than not likely to go your way. Think of people as mostly kind rather
than mostly awful.

Alice ​Right. All right, Melissa, you ready?

Melissa ​Oh, yeah.

Alice ​Let's go.

Melissa ​Hit me.

Melissa ​So this is sort of coincidental. I knew that we were talking to Vicky this week and I
don't know if you stand by this, Vicky, or if you think there's any truth to this, but I saw this
statistic or this recommendation that freaked the crap out of me about money, basically.
You know, about retirement and sort of that by the age of 30, you should have the
equivalent of your annual salary saved. By 35 you should have twice your annual salary.
By age forty three times your annual salary saved. And by 45 you should have four times
their annual salary saved. So I don't have anywhere near the amount that I should have
saved by my age if I go by that metric. I will of course, once I take all of your advice, but
my upgrade this week is that I increased my contribution to my 401K. I'm doing this thing
where I keep increasing it and seeing how much I can squeeze myself. So it's a little bit of
your principal and just really trying to put as much away as I can. Why not just see what
you can handle? Right. So that's my upgrade this week.

Melissa ​So that episode we talked to Vicky Robin, the author of Your Money or Your Life.
She's sort of the godmother or mother and I don't know why she has to be the godmother,
the mother of the FIRE movement, which is financially independent retire early, right?

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​Yep. You know, all those 35 year old retirees that, you know, they're all fire
adherents.

Alice ​Those people.

Melissa ​Yeah. So on the 401K front. I don't know if I reported this as an upgrade of the
week after that one, but I do this thing now where I set my 401K contributions to 100
percent. And 100 percent of your 100 percent of my paycheck goes into my 401K until I
max it out.

Alice ​OK.

Melissa ​So for some pay periods in the beginning of the year, I get no paycheck.

Alice ​I see.

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Melissa ​And I live as frugally as I can while on the principle that, you know, the sooner you
put the money in, the sooner it begins earning interest. Am I earning so much more
interest putting it in in February than in December? I don't know. But, you know, every
penny counts, right?

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​So this involves living without a paycheck for a bit. And so one has to have a
certain amount of money in their checking account that they can live on. I just try to be
extremely frugal during the times when I don't have a paycheck.

Alice ​Wow.

Melissa ​During the pay periods where I actually don't take the paycheck home, but I just
put it all right into my 401K. And then once it's all contributed, I think the maximum last
year was like nineteen thousand dollars that you could put in, then you no longer have
anything taken out of your paycheck. So you get your full paycheck. So it kind of balances
out.

Alice ​Huh.

Melissa ​A little bit.

Alice ​Wow. OK. I don't think I could do that just because of the way my life is. But I
definitely increased my my contributions after.

Melissa ​Yeah.

Alice ​After listening to that episode, after your upgrade scared the life out of me. You
know the part about how much you should be saved.

Melissa ​Oh, right.

Alice ​How much you should have saved by a certain age. Yeah, that was bracing.

Melissa ​Yeah. It's no less terrifying to me rehearing it today.

Alice ​Yes. Exactly.

Melissa ​So you know that putting a hundred percent of your paycheck in is not going to
make it so that you have four times your salary saved.

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​But you know, we're on our way.

Alice ​]Yeah. We're getting there.

Melissa ​We're getting there. Now is a good time. I should remind our listeners just to
check on your 401K contributions, Fidelity or Vanguard, or if you're if you work for a

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company that has a 401K, just go and make sure that you're giving the amount that you
want to give. You're contributing the amount you want to contribute because it's a new
year. Things could happen. I don't know. I just checked mine recently. It was off, so.

Alice ​Oh I haven't checked. I should check.

Melissa ​Yeah, check it.

Alice ​Alright. Very good.

Melissa ​Next.

Alice ​So I have been trying to get back into art. I'm something of an amateur artist.

Melissa ​She's a really good artist.

Alice ​Thank you. I. I got out of it. And then once you're out of it, it's it's a weird feeling to
suddenly not be doing this thing that you were doing all the time and thinking about while I
was falling asleep. I would be like, do you know, painting in my half dreaming state? And
it's just kind of gone from my life and it feels very strange. So I'm trying to get back into it.
And it just been high pressure, you know, not really knowing what I'm doing, putting out a
big old fancy piece of watercolor paper and feeling like I have to make some things.
Haven't done anything in a long time. So I finally said, I'm just going to do something really
low pressure. So I bought a cheap sketch book and I put it by my couch. So when I come
home at night, even if I'm just watching TV, I'll just sketch whatever I'm looking at on
television. And it's great, just like kind of getting myself back into it.

Alice ​Ooh. Well, that's a that's a yeah. OK. So I have not been doing that. But I wish I
were. I wish I were. So it's a good reminder to do that. And I think that sketchbook is still in
the table right next to my couch with the pencil that I just I and I've just been ignoring it.

Melissa ​So have you found another creative outlet or you've just not been pursuing it?

Alice ​I haven't really been doing anything. I actually just got Linda Barry's new book,
Making Comics, which I'm just a huge Linda Barry fan. And I've been thinking about doing
the exercises in that book. It's kind of it's a book full of exercises and not and they're really
fun and pressure relieving in that way. So I think I'm going to want to try that.

Melissa ​Great way to get back in.

Alice ​Yeah.

Melissa ​Nice.

Alice ​All right. Let's go to the next one.

Alice ​Melissa. What's your upgrade?

Melissa ​I have started looking up more when I'm walking down the street. The city of New
York is crowded. Its sidewalks are very crowded. People are on their phones. Nobody
stays in their lane. It's anarchy. And I found that rather than looking directly or trying to

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make eye contact with people as you walk down the street to figure out which way they're
going to go, if everybody is sort of distracted. If you keep your eyes straight ahead and
look up a little bit, stick to your lane. People will get out of your way. Now, this is not a way
of controlling everybody on the street and not paying attention to them and getting them to
move out of my way. But I do find that if everybody is generally staying to the right, which
is essential for keeping traffic flowing on sidewalks, the person who is looking at their
phone or wandering or not paying attention will sort of fall into line if everybody isn't
accommodating them. So I've started trying to, you know, keep my head in my lane and
focused on where I'm going. And it helps to restore order to the sidewalk. Does that make
sense?

Alice ​Yep. Makes total sense. And my upgrade is so eerily similar to that, that now I've got
to come up with something else, so.

Melissa ​Well, no, I want to know what it is then.

Alice ​My upgrade. This week was going to be look where I'm going. That's my upgrade
was that I've it occurred to me that, you know, how you shouldn't, like, look at like, don't
look at a rock if you're riding your bike because you'll just run right into the rock.

Melissa ​Right.

Alice ​You look where you want to be going.

Melissa ​Right.

Alice ​I've realized that the same holds true for crowds. And don't look at the person who
you want to not be in your way. Look at the space between them, because then you will
avoid them and they will know where you're going because you're looking.

Alice ​I got to say, this is a real hack that I've kept up and I'm proud of myself every time I
do it because it works, works. It works. You're walking through a crazy crowd. If you're just
looking where you're going, looking for the spaces in between people, you don't run into
people.

Melissa ​It's true. I do that. Don't make eye contact.

Alice ​No.

Melissa ​Right. Don't make eye contact with people because they, like you, hijack
everybody's proprioception and you end up, you know.

Alice ​Doing the crazy dance?

Melissa ​Yeah. You end up doing the crazy dance if you make eye contact and you end up
having to negotiate with everybody. You know, your prefrontal cortex can't take it.

Alice ​Can't take it. Just tune them all out.

Melissa ​Yeah. You can't make them any decisions. Just one decision.

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Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​Eye on the prize.

Alice ​Yes. God we're great.

Melissa ​We really are great. I love us.

Alice ​I love us, too. Let's never stop.

Alice ​Oh, what a whirlwind that was.

Melissa ​Wow, a real trip down memory lane. A real, real promenade with with my old
selves. How do you feel?

Alice ​I feel good. I feel less sickened by myself than I thought I was going to be, you know,
sort of surprised a lot of these things stayed with me for so long. How about you?

Melissa ​I found that all very interesting. And it's funny. Like, never underestimate novelty,
you know? Frequently it seems like we come in with something new and be really excited
about it and excited about the potential of that new thing. Did that thing have staying
power? Does it matter?

Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​Right? Because there was joy in starting something new. Now, is there sort of a
bit of melancholy in abandoning so many things? Yes. Is it especially poignant when those
things are, you know, compassion for other people? Perhaps. But it's always good to go
back. Like going back and reading your diary.

Alice ​Right.

Melissa ​Well don't do that. That's always terrible. But that always ends in tears. But, you
know, going back and looking at your goals, you know, at the end of the year or seeing if
your New Year's resolution is something that you kept, you know, you need a reminder
from time to time. I need a reminder.

Alice ​I really was struck by how hopeful we sounded in so many of these these upgrades?
You know, how how much we how much energy we were bringing to these to these little
changes, thinking they were gonna change everything for us and um. Which doesn't take
away from them, you know, which makes me feel like maybe I could do them again and
rekindle that old feeling.

Melissa ​I have high hopes for you getting back to your notebook.

Alice ​No. OK, well, thank you. And I have high hopes for you being more humble.

Alice ​And now it's time for an upgrade of the week for this week. Every week we talk about
that one tiny thing making a big difference in our lives. And I'm sure we're not gonna regret
these.

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Melissa ​No way.

Alice ​Melissa, what's your upgrade?

Melissa ​So welcome back to Melissa's favorite Chrome Extensions, new installment. I love
a chrome extension called Recipe Filter.

Alice ​Ooh.

Melissa ​You know, when you're on some random site or random blog and you want to get
to a recipe and that recipe is way, way down after a blog post,.

Alice ​Buried.

Melissa ​And like ads so many ads, somebody trying to get their photos and photos, all
kinds of crap. Just want to get way down there. You want to get to that recipe and you
can't it's taking forever for the page to load. Recipe Filter finds the recipe on the page and
gives it to you in an overlay the second you get to the page. So there's no effin' around
with the blog post.

Alice ​You don't have to hear about like grandma's recipe and how it was passed down
from generation generation?

Melissa ​If you want to, should you be so inclined, just click outside of the recipe overlay
and you'll get to the site itself. But this brilliant extension that's probably taking all my data
and selling it to—

Alice ​Sure.

Melissa ​—some foreign adversary is going to detect when there's a recipe on the page
and pull that recipe forth for you and give it to you in like a pop up.

Alice ​And do you have to give it your social security number or something like that?

Melissa ​Yep.

Alice ​Oh, okay well worth it, though.

Melissa ​Yeah. Keys to your house.

Alice ​Very nice.

Melissa ​But it's a small price to pay.

Alice ​Yeah, I would say so.

Melissa ​I highly recommend.

Alice ​Great.

Melissa ​Alice, what's your upgrade?

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Alice ​It's something I wanted to start doing for a long time is a knit and I have not been
doing so. But I read an article in your times called How to Start Knitting and Learn to Love
It. This was actually published in 2013. I just happened to find it. And the author, Alanna
Okun, I think recommends she recommends a lot of things. One of the things she
mentions was these are knitting kits you can buy. And she said, you know, fair warning.
They're pricier than buying things a la carte, but you get everything in one place. Well,
that's all I needed hear. I want everything in one place. So I purchased a knitting kit from
We Are Knitters, and it's just a simple hat, which is the thing she recommends starting
with. And I have not actually started doing it yet, so I don't if I can call this an upgrade, but I
feel that it's going to be because it's making me happy just to look at and like feel the yarn.
It's really pretty. And it comes with instructions and video and all the stuff that everything
you need to start.

Melissa ​Amazing.

Alice ​Knitting. It's going to change my life.

Melissa ​Have you ever knitted before?

Alice ​Fast forward to future. A couple of times in the past, I have had knitting friends try to
teach me and I've knitted things like a long thin tube and thought, this is great. This is so
much fun. But I've never actually needed anything practical when I do really enjoy it when I
take it up. So.

Melissa ​So you're going to have a new hat soon.

Alice ​I may very well have a new hat. Get ready. Or maybe you'll have a new hat. That's
why I've been measuring your head.

Melissa ​I was wondering about that.

Melissa ​And that's our show. The upgrade is produced by Micaela Heck and Brad Fisher,
mix the episode.

Alice ​Please rate us in Apple podcasts and leave us a review. We would appreciate it so
much. You can also reach us by calling us 3 4 7 6 8 7 8 1 0 9 and leaving a voicemail or
write to us at upgrade at Lifehacker dot com.

Melissa ​You can also find us on Twitter, at Lifehacker, on Instagram, at Lifehacker dot
com and on Facebook at Facebook. Dot com slash lifehacker. Sign up for Lifehacker's
daily newsletter at Lifehacker dot com slash newsletter and you can find show notes for
this and every episode of the upgrade at Lifehacker dot com slash the show.

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