30

Challenges
30 Days
Zero Excuses

Written by Andrian Iliopoulos

Copyright © 2015 by Andrian Iliopoulos
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced
or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of
the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.


To every single one of you who decide to transcend your limits and pursue a
more purposeful reality.
 Table of Contents

Introduction

Challenge No. 1: Sleep At Least 7 Hours Every Night

Challenge No. 2: Wake Up Early

Challenge No. 3: Morning Workout

Challenge No. 4 : Take a Cold Shower Every Morning

Challenge No. 5: Take Care of Your Skin

Challenge No. 6: Eat Healthy and Prepare Your Meals in the Morning

Challenge No. 7: Eliminate Clutter and Tidy Up Your Environment

Challenge No. 8: Meditate for 15 Minutes Every Day

Challenge No. 9: Gain Knowledge in a New Topic

Challenge No. 10: Play Brain Training Games

Challenge No. 11: Dress Well

Challenge No. 12: Conquer Self-doubt, Fear, and Negativity

Challenge No. 13: Practice Small Talk

Challenge No. 14 : Don’t Check Email Before You Finish Your Most Important Work

Challenge No. 15: Use the Pomodoro Technique to Increase Your Productivity

Challenge No. 16: Network Better - Send One Networking Email Every Day

Challenge No. 17: Use the “2-Minute Rule” Throughout Your Day

Challenge No. 18: Work on Your Posture and Practice Power Posing

Challenge No. 19: Cultivate Your Assertiveness

Challenge No. 20: Stop Arguing

Challenge No. 21: Be Honest

Challenge No. 22: Learn to Listen

Challenge No. 23: No Alcohol, No Smoking, No Drugs

Challenge No. 24 : Play for One Hour Every Day

Challenge No. 25: Express Gratitude toward Yourself and Toward People in Your Environment

Challenge No. 26: Write in Your Journal Every Day…

Challenge No. 27: Create a Task List

Challenge No. 28: Read for One Hour Every Day

Challenge No. 29: No Internet Porn and Masturbation

Challenge No. 30: Enjoy Small Victories

This is How Your Day Will Look

Note for Your Weekends

Conclusion

The Badges

Sources

About The Author

Medical Disclaimer
 Introduction
Hello, and welcome to the 30 Challenges – 30 Days – Zero Excuses handbook.
First off, I want to congratulate you for deciding to purchase this book. I can
assure you that this is one of the most valuable purchases you have ever made.
The goal of this project is simple:
- Destroy your bad habits.
- Reinvent yourself.
- Assume absolute control over your life.

I created this project initially for myself because I was tired of wasting time
and energy on a daily life that was abstractly defined. I wanted to find a way to
master my productivity, organize my schedule, and achieve a healthy work and
life balance.
These challenges didn’t come to me organically. They were all inspired after
careful consideration of habits and practices evangelized by extremely
successful people.
People like Warren Buffet, Tim Ferriss, Tony Robbins, and Richard Branson
to name but a few.
The challenges are divided into three main categories: Mental, Physical, and
Social.
They are all picked strategically to have an immediate impact in the way you
experience your day-to-day life.
I can assure you that after these 30 days, you won’t be able to recognize
yourself and the progress you have made as an individual.
How It Works
In each chapter, I explain a different challenge you need to accomplish every
day.
The challenges are 30 in total, which means that you need to complete 30
challenges every day for 30 days.
I can already hear you say that 30 challenges is too many.
I can already hear you try to find excuses to not even start your attempt.
I can already hear you say that you are not ready for this.
But I can also hear a tiny voice buried somewhere inside you that screams how
bad you want to accomplish this.
I say enough with the excuses.
I say let’s make this voice loud and clear.
I say let’s take your life into your own hands.
Now, enough with the talking. It’s time to take action.
The best way to approach the challenges is as follows:
1) Read every challenge carefully.
2) Prepare yourself for the requirements set for every challenge.
3) Organize your daily schedule based on the instructions provided in the
end of the book.
4) Get started.

And by the way, don’t worry. You are not alone in this.
So many people have already started to enjoy the benefits of this project.
I am one of them and I’ll be there at every single step of your journey.
If you ever need someone to motivate you and provide guidance and advice
along the way, don’t hesitate to contact me at
andrian@thequintessentialman.com.
So, are you ready?
Let’s do this.


Challenge No. 1: Sleep At Least 7 Hours Every Night

It feels ridiculous to me how much people underestimate the importance of
sleep today.
I have experimented with sleeping patterns quite extensively and I have come to
the following conclusion:
Sleep is the best cure for any problem you might encounter.
I just can’t recall the countless times I have been in the midst of a creative
block or I was facing an emotional rollercoaster and decided to stop whatever I
was doing, take a good 7-8 hour sleep, and the moment I woke up, I was ready
to face my challenge from a fresh perspective.
What most people fail to understand is that sleep works as a tool to clear the
brain’s short memory storage.

In a study conducted at UC Berkeley in 20071, the researchers found that fact-

based memories are temporarily stored in the hippocampus before being sent
to the brain’s prefrontal cortex, which may have more storage space.
The brain has a limited amount of energy at its disposal, and it appears that it
must choose between two different functional states: awake and aware, or
asleep and cleaning up. You can think of it like having a house party. You can
either entertain the guests, or clean up the house, but you can't really do both at
the same time.

There is nothing worse for your brain than underestimating its capacity and
processing power. Just like you would reboot your computer when you
experience lagging, you should reboot your brain when you see that it fails
you.

Now, to get the most out of your sleep, I would suggest the following:
1) Sleep at least 7-8 hours. Getting the right amount of sleep is important
in being alert the next day, and several studies have found an association
between getting seven to eight hours of sleep and optimal cognitive
performance.
2) Sleep in total darkness. Daylight directly inhibits the release of
melatonin in your brain. Melatonin is a natural hormone released in your
blood when darkness occurs and helps your body feel less alert, thus
making sleep more inviting. Therefore, I would strongly recommend
reinforcing your room with window blinds or really dark curtains.
3) Stop hitting the snooze button. Even though you might think that
hitting snooze will give you a chance to finish your natural sleep cycle
and wake up feeling rested, that's not what happens. After you hit snooze
and drift off, your brain starts its sleep cycle all over again. When the
alarm goes off a second time, you're likely at an even deeper, earlier part
of your sleep cycle, which results in you feeling even worse than you did
the first time.
4) Get a good mattress. If you already have a good mattress, you’re all
set. If you’re sleeping on something that’s thin, lumpy, or too small, take
a look at your finances and see if you can set aside $50 – 100 per month
to buy a new mattress. It’s worth it.
5) Keep your room cool. The temperature of your bedroom also affects
sleep. Most people sleep best in a slightly cool room (around 65° F or
18° C) with adequate ventilation. A bedroom that is too hot or too cold
can interfere with quality sleep.
6) Put you phone on airplane mode. Radiation emitted from cell phones
can increase the amount of time required to reach deep sleep cycles and
decrease the amount of time spent in those cycles.

Optional:
1) Download the Sleep Cycle app. Sleep Cycle alarm clock tracks your
sleep patterns and wakes you up during light sleep. Waking up during
light sleep feels like waking up naturally rested without an alarm clock.
2) Buy melatonin supplements. If your natural melatonin levels are low
 and you experience trouble reaching deep sleep stage, melatonin
supplements can help you improve your sleep cycles and sleep better. In
most cases, melatonin supplements are safe in low doses for short-term
and long-term use, but be sure to talk with your doctor about taking
them.
3) Try sleep meditation. Use this guided meditation to enter into sleep and
enjoy a deep, restorative sleep. Through guided sleep meditation, your
muscles will relax, your breathing will become slow and deep, and your
common daily thoughts will be replaced with rich, dreamlike imagery.
My favorite app for this purpose is calm.com.
 Challenge No. 2: Wake Up Early
Since I finished school, I have always been a late riser.
I guess having to wake up at 6am every day for almost 12 years prompted me
to compensate for all this lack of sleep by waking up really late.
During my university days, I would stay up until 5am either partying or
playing video games on my computer. Even the mere thought of having to
wake up early to attend a lecture or to run an errand created immense feelings
of distress in me.
Waking up late made me feel free and in control.
This feeling, however, didn’t last long.
I soon realized that waking up late affected my productivity and that even if I
wanted to believe that I can have a random learning schedule, the results didn't
really prove my belief.
I eventually graduated from university and although my grades were good, I
knew that if I wanted to, I could have done much better.
I knew that I could be way more productive than I was, I just didn’t know how.
After my graduation, I started working for a big consulting firm in London.
Obviously, the job followed the standard 9-5 trajectory, which forced me to
change my sleeping habits and wake up earlier than I was used to.
All those years of being used to sleeping late, however, didn't really allow me
to sleep earlier than 2am, thus I experienced a lack of energy and motivation
throughout my day.
It wasn’t until last year that I realized the benefits of waking up early combined
with a good 7-8 hour sleep.
To be honest with you, it all happened by accident.
One day after having partied really hard the previous night, I was feeling
extremely tired and I fell asleep around 8pm.
My body woke me up automatically around 5am. Surprisingly enough, I was
feeling quite rested and ready to kick off my day.
It was still dark outside and although it was quite an odd feeling for me, I
decided to prepare a big breakfast and dive into an article I wanted to publish
the next day.
The feeling I experienced that morning was earthshattering to me.
I can’t remember ever being able to focus so immensely and enter working
flow so easily.
I finished the article in half of the time I usually needed and I felt that I could
keep producing work in that pace for at least 4 more hours.
It was the most productive day of my life.
Since then, I started waking up before 7am every day and I can honestly say
that this was a pivotal point in my personal and professional development.
Needless to say, I am not the only person who has realized the benefits of early
rising. Benjamin Franklin famously said:
“Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.”
Successful people are very often early risers.
From Franklin to Obama, from Branson to Darwin, all were known to wake up
early.
Additionally, numerous articles can be found online that suggest that morning
people are more proactive2, get better grades3 , and that many of the most
powerful CEOs wake up by 6am.4
Waking up early is one of the most important challenges during these 30 days
and one that should be followed without questioning.
Now, because a huge part of this 30-day challenge will be your morning ritual,
you need to make sure that you have enough time for it between the time you
wake up and the time you need to start work or university.
The morning ritual can be found at the end of the book and consists of your
morning workout, a cold shower, cooking, and some other, mainly mental,
exercises to get you started for the day.
This will take you approximately 3 hours to complete, depending on how fast
you can cook and how focused you will be during your workout and the other
activities.
You can decide for yourself whether you want to wake up anywhere between
5am-7am, although I would strongly advise you to wake up at 5am and start
your work earlier.
 Challenge No. 3: Morning Workout
The sound of the alarm clock in the morning can be violent, I know.
This violent ringing can rip you out of your rest and can instantly put you in
bad mood.
Even if you have enjoyed a good 7 to 8-hour sleep, your mind takes some time
to recover and the bad mood might take some time to disappear, affecting your
drive and action taking.
Your morning routine, however, requires a fully alert and positive mind from
the very moment you wake up.
And this will be achieved with your morning workout.
The morning workout is a circuit-style bodyweight workout that will be
performed right after you leave your bed (Of course, you can wash your face,
go to the toilet, and drink a huge glass of water first).
It’s programmed strategically to wake up your nervous system, get the blood
flowing, kick your hormones into overdrive, and introduce a massive amount
of oxygen to your body, thereby shooting your brain into productivity mode.
If you are not used to this type of training, it might seem a bit demanding in the
beginning but eventually, you will realize that it has to do more with habit than
anything.
You create the expectation that your body has to perform the second it wakes
up. It may resist at first, but with practice, it'll fall in line.
With regard to the nature of the training, to be efficient and effective, the
workout should consist of the following exercises:

60 pushups (3 sets of 20)

60 sit-ups (3 sets of 20)
60 body squats (3 sets of 20)

These should be performed within 20-30 minutes with 1-minute intervals

between sets and 2-minute intervals between exercises.
Now, because the training obviously is affected by how fit you are, if you
aren’t that fit and you feel that 60 repetitions are too many, you can reduce it to
30 and increase 5 repetitions each day. Within a week, you will reach 60.
If, however, you are quite fit and you find that 60 repetitions isn’t something
special, you can increase the repetitions to 100.
Keep in mind that this is just a workout to help you wake up and start your day
with more energy and drive.
This is not a replacement workout for your regular weight-lifting routine.
If you are an experienced weight lifter, this will work great as a
complementary workout to your regular routine.
If you aren’t a regular gym residence, however, this routine will help you get
in shape and give you the required boost to start hitting the gym on a more
regular basis.
 Challenge No. 4: Take a Cold Shower Every Morning
Cold showers have played an important role in many cultures for various
reasons. From the ancient Greeks and Romans, to Native American tribes,
Japanese Shinto practitioners, and the Scandinavians, cold water plunges have
long been part of traditional rituals.

They are used to build psychological strength, to cleanse the spirit, to improve
health, and to rejuvenate your whole body and mind. Needless to say, a cold
shower should definitely be part of your morning routine.
Especially when trying to build intrinsic motivation, a cold shower can wake
up your whole body and work as a great tool to help you initiate action and
start getting things done. In our comfort-obsessed modern culture, the benefits
of cold water have long been forgotten. I will list here the most critical:
1) Improves blood circulation. Good blood circulation is vital for overall
cardiovascular health. Healthy blood circulation can also speed up
recovery from a heavy workout. Alternating between hot and cold water
while you shower is an easy way to improve your circulation. Cold water
causes your blood to move to your organs to keep them warm. Warm
water reverses the effect by causing the blood to move toward the surface
of the skin.
2) Improves your mood. A 2008 study called “Adapted cold shower as a

potential treatment for depression,” published in Medical Hypotheses5 ,

presents the interesting hypothesis that depression may be caused by “a
lifestyle that lacks certain physiological stressors that have been
experienced by primates through millions of years of evolution, such as
brief changes in body temperature (e.g. cold swim), and lack of ‘thermal
 exercise’ may cause inadequate functioning of the brain.” The evidence
seems to support the hypothesis. Exposure to cold water increases the
release of noradrenaline, a chemical that mitigates depression. Practical
application showed cold hydrotherapy to relieve depressive symptoms
effectively.
3) Improves the overall health of your hair and skin. Hot water tends to
dry out skin and hair. Cold water can make your hair look shinier and
your skin look healthier by closing up your cuticles and pores.
4) Strengthens immunity. According to a study done in 1993 by the

Thrombosis Research Institute in England6, individuals who took daily

cold showers saw an increase in the number of virus fighting white blood
cells compared to individuals who took hot showers. Researchers believe
that the increased metabolic rate, which results from the body’s attempt to
warm itself up, activates the immune system and releases more white
blood cells in response.
5) Increases testosterone. The same study by the Thrombosis Research
Institute cited above showed that cold showers
actually increase testosterone production in men. Increased testosterone
levels not only boost a man’s libido, but also his overall strength and
energy level.

Now, before you get started with cold showers, I want to make something clear.
Starting with cold showers is not an easy thing. It will take some time for your
body to adapt to the water temperature and this needs to be done gradually.

1. Start off with warm water.
2. Wash your body and hair.
3. When ready to rinse, gradually turn it down to cold.
4. Spend at least 30 seconds to 1 minute under cold water (~68
degrees).
5. Make sure your bathroom has a good room temperature, especially
during winter, because your body needs to recover after the cold
shower.


Challenge No. 5: Take Care of Your Skin

Hopefully, you know by now that taking care of your skin is not just for
women.
In fact, it’s vital for you as a man to take care of your skin so you can portray a
strong, energized appearance that not only helps with the ladies, but also with
your career earning potential.
When I was younger, I didn’t really consider using quality skin products. After
taking a shower, I would just slap on a random moisturizer I bought from the
supermarket and that’s it.
The rest of my face remained dry and this affected my face and overall looks.
I didn't really care that much, to be honest with you. I didn’t think that a
healthier looking skin plays such a huge role in the way you look.
As I grew older, however, the first wrinkles made their appearance and the idea
of an unhealthy-looking skin terrified me.
Fortunately, I realized soon enough that taking care of my skin should be an
inextricable part of my daily routine and since then, I have been enjoying it
tremendously.
That’s what you should do, too.
Taking care of your skin will be part of your morning routine during these 30
days and will be performed right after your cold shower.
You will be applying the following two products on your skin to look better:

1. Moisturizer. Make sure to rub moisturizer gently on your face, especially

 around your eyes and forehead where wrinkles more commonly appear
on men. If you’re especially worried about tired, weathered eyes, use an
eye cream for men – not only will it reduce and prevent future wrinkles,
but it will also reduce bags and puffiness.
2. Anti-aging cream. Use a natural men’s anti-aging cream every night after
you have washed your face. Be sure to add ample amounts to your
forehead and around your eyes, where you are most susceptible to
wrinkles.
3. (OPTIONAL) Sunscreen. Don’t even think about using a product that
combines moisturizer and sunscreen. Nearly every SPF product carries a
host of strong chemicals and putting them on your face daily can cause
irritation, break outs, and dryness. Therefore, use a good men’s
moisturizer daily and if you plan to be in the sun longer than 30 minutes,
put some SPF 20+ on top of it.

With regard to suggested products, I personally use Bulldog and Kiehl’s. They
are both qualitative brands, with very competitive prices.
You can find many reputable brands out there but make sure to buy products
that are natural.
Using synthetic chemicals in your daily skin care can be just as bad, if not
worse, than digesting unnatural ingredients in food.
You can find the suggested products here:
Bulldog
Bulldog Natural Skincare: Original Moisturiser, 3.3 oz.
Bulldog Anti-Ageing Moisturiser 3.3 oz.

Kiehl’s
Kiehl's Ultra Facial SPF 30 All Skin Types Moisturizer for Unisex,
8.4 oz.
Kiehl's Facial Fuel Heavy Lifting Anti-Aging Moisturizer 2.5 oz.
 Challenge No. 6: Eat Healthy and Prepare Your Meals in
the Morning
Most people, sadly, underestimate the importance of a healthy nutrition
schedule.
I am quite sure you are among them.
Let me make a rough guess.
You eat maximum three times per day, whenever you feel hungry, and you
never follow a well-structured nutrition plan.
You rarely cook, you consume a lot of sugar and coffee, and you spend most
of your money in fast food restaurants and take-out.
This needs to change.
Nutrition will be one of the most critical parts of this 30-day challenge.
You need to make sure that your body and mind are constantly getting all the
energy required to enable their full potential.
And this can only be achieved by following a well-organized nutrition plan.
You will focus on consuming healthy foods that can boost your overall
performance levels and at the same time, help you build a well-shaped body.
Here comes the tricky part, however.
Creating a healthy nutrition plan is not an easy thing. It requires preparation,
time, and research.
But there is no need to worry. I am here to make this process easier.
I have experimented a lot with different nutrition plans and this has helped me
create a rough guide that can be adjusted, depending on your goals and
nutritional needs.
I will divide this section into two parts. In the first part, I will cover what foods
you need and what your nutrition plan will look like.
In the second part, I will focus on the preparation and how to consume the
foods you need throughout the day.
Part 1
First off, let’s start with foods you should definitely avoid:

Sugar
Grains
Seed and vegetable oils
Trans fats
Artificial sweeteners
“Diet” and “low-fat” products
Highly processed foods

Put simply, you need to stay away from industrialized products and focus more
on natural ingredients.
Here is a list of products you should enrich your diet with:

Organic meat
Fish (preferably fresh)
Free range organic eggs
Organic Vegetables
Organic Grains
Nuts and seeds
Potatoes
Rice
High fat dairy
Fats and oils
Tea
 A lot of water

Now, because everyone has different goals, there is a generic rule of thumb
you need to use depending on whether you want to lose or gain weight.

Lose weight: 50% protein, 30% fat, and 20% carbs.

Gain weight: 30% protein, 20% fat, and 50% carbs.

If you want to lose weight, you need to focus on consuming more protein and
healthy fats and less carbs and calories.
Bodybuilding.com has a great guide that suggests a diet for when you want to
lose weight and build muscle simultaneously. You can find it here.
The trick with losing weight is to fight the main source of your problem,
which is being hungry all the time.
During these 30 days, we will focus on reducing the amount of unhealthy
snacks you tend to consume to satisfy your hunger and focus on consuming
low calorie/low carb foods on frequent intervals to appease your appetite.
If you want to gain weight, however, you need to eat a lot. You will focus on
consuming a healthy combination of carbs, protein, and fat, with carbs being
the dominant source of your calories.
The usual rule here is that you need to consume around 2,500-3,000 calories
per day and that your diet should consist of roughly:

280g Carbohydrates
160-180g Protein
100g Fat

This is not an easy task because I have always been a hard gainer myself and I
have come to realize this can’t be achieved without a well-organized plan.

Before we see how this plan works, below, you will find some great sources
that explain how your meals should look throughout the day to gain weight:

Weight Gain Meal Plan by Bodybuilding.com.
The Skinny Guy Muscle-Gain Meal Plan by Mensfitness.com.

Part 2

When it comes to organizing your meal plan for the day, preparation is key.


During these 30 days, you will have to complete 30 challenges every day.
These are a lot of challenges, which means that your day needs to be structured
in a way that will allow you to have enough time for all of them.

Experience has shown that eating is a huge part of our daily life and we waste a
lot of time in eating and preparing our meals.

Therefore, in our 30-day challenge, we will make sure to reduce the
preparation time to a minimum.

Cooking will be part of your morning routine. But when I say cooking, I am
not talking about your breakfast only.

In the morning, you will prepare all your meals for the day. This process
will take approximately an hour to complete but I assure you, it is worth every
second.

Before you start with your challenges, I want you to read the suggested articles
from bodybuilding.com carefully and create a list of groceries that you need
for your week.

You need to buy all these items either at beginning of the week or go shopping
during the week, but no more than 2-3 times to save time.

After you do that, you will write the meal plan for the week and stick it on your
fridge.

Now you know what to eat every day and you are ready to prepare it in the
morning.

You will also need some plastic containers to store them and also keep them in
your bag during work or college.

Your work or studies will consume almost 8 hours of your day, which means
that during these 8 hours, you need to consume at least one big lunch and two
healthy snacks.

You can leave the rest of the meals at home to eat them when you are there.

This process is extremely efficient and will release you from the constant
confusion you experience throughout the day when you are unprepared and
you have no idea what to eat.

It will also save you money and time, and teach you self-discipline and
planning.

If you need any help while working on it, don’t hesitate to email me at
andrian@thequintessentialman.com to provide some guidance.


Challenge No. 7: Eliminate Clutter and Tidy Up Your

Environment
Did you know that the longer a person touches and spends time around an
object, the greater the value assigned to that item?

According to Lifehacker 7, “these conclusions were derived from two studies

where people attended an auction and were told that they would be bidding on
coffee cups. Before bidding on the items, subjects went around a room
inspecting the average, nothing-special-about-them, coffee cups that were
going to be put up for sale. Observers found that ‘examining an item for
longer periods of time resulted in greater attachment to the item and thus
higher valuations.’ Meaning that the longer a subject touched and observed a
coffee cup during the inspection period, the more likely he was to buy the cup
and pay even more for it than its sticker price.”

This incredible finding suggests that simply by touching an object and
spending time with it greatly increases the likelihood that a typical consumer
will buy a product—irrespective of if the consumer has a need or previous
desire for the product.

The psychology behind this behavior probably has its roots in our childhood
and the way we deal with attachment in general.

The reason I mention it, however, is that if you're someone who struggles with
clutter or you are making unnecessary purchases, it's a good idea to keep this
science in mind.
Clutter is present in every aspect of our lives. From our office to our kitchen
and from the streets of the city we live in to the places we visit for holidays, the
propensity of every human to generate stuff just makes clutter an indispensible
part of the world we live in.
We really don’t do this on purpose. Time changes the meaning of things and
you simply accumulate stuff you don’t really need anymore. It happens to the
best of us.
The point is that keeping everything around you current and relevant is a
process that requires a very structured and responsible way of thinking.
When you decide, however, to put order in your life by starting with your
external environment, the rewards are immense.
The sweep-up, the reordering of your books, the filing of documents you no
longer use, all those little decluttering exercises, create an incredible sense of
freedom and clarity that accompanies an decluttered space – and freedom is
definitely one of the main feelings we will try to experience during these 30
days.
So, as you have probably realized, decluttering needs to become a daily
practice.
Now, because decluttering might be a bit overwhelming and confusing, here
are some points to consider when you decide to put an order in your personal
space.

1. Think in Reverse. If you would lose everything, what would you

definitely buy again? I would suggest organizing your items in two
categories – the ones you definitely need and the ones you don’t need that
much. This will help you realize the importance of your items in your life
and also identify the ones you use more often.
2. Think of Your Things in Terms of Utility First, and Sentimental Value
Second. Advancing from our last point, although I trust your ability to
categorize your items based on importance, there is a certain aspect of
emotional attachment that you should always take into account when
decluttering. I know that the action figure you got ten years ago for your
birthday means a lot to you but does it really serve our purpose here?
There comes a point in our lives where we need to realize that we have to
move on and that suggests getting rid of items without any practical use.
3. Think minimal and search online for nice minimal office spaces to get
 ideas. It’s not a surprise that minimalism and minimalistic design have
gained in popularity over the last ten years or so. There is a great feeling
of tranquility and calmness that characterizes this type of design and
people crave these feelings when it comes to their personal space. I would
suggest researching some minimalistic office spaces online to get
inspired while trying to create the perfect office for you.

There is also a great book called The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The
Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing, which is worth reading.
It is a #1 New York Times best-selling guide to decluttering your home from
Japanese cleaning consultant, Marie Kondo. Marie Kondo has developed the
revolutionary KonMari Method, which is one of the most famous methods for
simplifying, organizing, and storing.
 Challenge No. 8: Meditate for 15 Minutes Every Day
Everyone has their own reasons for meditating.
Although we usually relate meditation to spirituality and practices performed
by Buddhist monks, meditation can easily be summarized in the following
sentence:
“Meditation is concentrating the front of our mind with a mundane task so the
rest of the mind can find peace.” –Gene, Layer Cake (2004)
Despite its simplicity and unambiguous definition, the benefits of meditation
are unquestionable:
First, meditation can be a defense mechanism for your mind to help it find an
escape from our fast-paced world.8 In our technology-driven society, we are
constantly surrounded by distractions. Smart phones, social media, news
platforms, and several other channels have become an integral part of our
reality. The huge amount of input we receive each day can affect our emotional
and psychological state dramatically. Meditation can help us embrace a mental
rest, which is much needed to perform effectively in our modern society. It
restores our brain’s balance and our sense of overall calm and well-being.
Second, meditation can increase your attention span and focus. Meditation can
work as a mental workout for your mind the same way building muscle works
for your body.9 Our focus is a very delicate skill that requires a lot of training
to be mastered. If you experience difficulties interacting with people or
focusing on specific tasks for a long time, you definitely need to work on your
focus and meditation is one of the numerous ways to do that.
Third, meditation can help you feel comfortable in your own skin. The
constant stream of input we face each day often carries messages of what we’re
supposed to think or feel. Random people express their opinions as if they
were facts. Advertisers try to convince us that buying “top class” products will
make us feel more alive, and so forth. Meditation allows us to be alone with
our own thoughts and discover what we really think about the world and
ourselves.
Forth, meditation can help you relax and be in the moment. Being present is a
very understated term in a person’s life. Presence can help you disengage
yourself from “earthly problems” and allow your mind to become immersed
in the totality of the moment you are experiencing. Additionally, being in the
moment can help you:

Be sharper
Be funnier
Be less needy
Be more self-amused
Draw good emotional state from within
Become more sexual

Meditation is a mental training that enables you to control your own thoughts,
instead of letting others control them. It creates a deep inner discipline, and
helps you emit a healthy vibe that instantly elevates your value and personal
image.
It goes without saying that meditation should be practiced daily to experience
all its benefits. During these 30 days, meditation will be part of your morning
routine.
Although there are many ways to practice meditation, for the purposes of this
challenge, I will list here the two most effective ones: guided and mindfulness.
Guided

This is one of the most popular forms of meditation and it involves a person
who will mentor you through the meditation process by using his voice as a
guide.
Usually, this person is trying to calm you down, by narrating an imaginary
situation where you feel safe and protected. The guide actually works as your
inner voice that can help you focus on your breathing in case you can’t do it
for yourself.
Of course, the guide doesn’t need to be a real person. There are numerous apps
or websites you can use for guided meditation. The one I have been using for
many years is Calm.com
It provides many voices to choose from and it also gives you challenges to
work on each day to make the meditation process a regular practice.

Mindfulness

The goal of mindfulness meditation is to relax and calm your restless mind.

Mindfulness meditation seeks to quiet the thoughts clamoring for your mind
and to direct your attention to one thought or sound that serves as your
“anchor”. Your anchor could be the sound of water flowing, the repetition of a
word, or even your own breath.

It is normally performed in 15-30 minute sessions. It’s a wonderful tool for
relaxation and it can act as a starting point for spiritual work or another form
of meditation.

Simply observe the sensation of the breath entering your nose/mouth, entering
and filling your lungs, and then being released through your nose/mouth. As
thoughts come into your mind, try to dismiss them and get back to focusing
and observing your breath.


Challenge No. 9: Gain Knowledge in a New Topic

This is a challenge I wasn’t really sure if I should add or not but eventually, I
realized that it is extremely important for your personal development.
Recently, I came to realize that the pace in which our world changes is
dramatic.
We are experiencing a pivotal moment in the progress of humanity and this is
reflected daily with the advancements in technology and the different schools
of thought.
We are all citizens of the world at the moment and our possibilities are
limitless.
Knowledge is easily distributable and anyone can have access to various
different sources that can offer a variety of information and opinions.
You, as a person living in this drastically changing environment, should be
able to understand and deeply comprehend this shift.
Therefore, you need to make sure to be up to date with news and events that are
happening in the world and also be able to understand topics that are outside
your area of expertise.
During your morning routine or your commute, you should dedicate 20-30
minutes to stay up to date with news and also explore areas that you find
interesting but never had the chance to explore.
I am not the one to tell you what areas you should focus on but make sure to
not focus on many areas at the same time because this will cause information
overload and you won’t be able to process all the knowledge effectively.
My rule of thumb is that I usually explore a new topic every 6 months.
Let’s say I want to discover the world of Bitcoin and be able to discuss it at a
competitive level. I will read relevant Bitcoin sources every day for 6 months.
The next 6 months, I will pick another area that interests me, and so forth.
Obviously, during these 30 days, you won’t be able to become an expert on
Bitcoin, if you choose this topic, but this process will help you make this idea a
practice.
As I mentioned before, I am not the one to suggest which areas are interesting
for you to explore but based on my experience, some interesting topics
include:

Entrepreneurship
Marketing
Psychology
Finance
Trading
Economics

A great piece of advice I can give is that, whatever the topic you pick, I would
strongly recommend that apart from the big news agencies that might cover the
topic, you should also read renowned bloggers who have a level of expertise
on the area.
These sources are extremely valuable and can sometimes offer insider
information, which would otherwise be impossible to find.
If you experience trouble finding the right topic for you, don’t hesitate to
contact me at andrian@thequintessentialman.com and I will share my thoughts.


Challenge No. 10: Play Brain Training Games

My week has been pretty hectic so far. On Monday, I was responsible for a
busy coffee shop and had to remember a range of coffee and snack orders for
a constant stream of customers.
On Tuesday, I had to use my peripheral vision to locate a range of uncommon
bird species.
On Wednesday, I had to guide a gardener to a safe path and rescue him from
some garden monsters and that was before I had to think of as many words as I
could that begin with the prefix "auto."
That is what the world of brain training games looks like.
For the past months, I have been completing a series of computer games
designed to test my memory, numerical reasoning, concentration, and spatial
awareness.
It all started as a way to satisfy my curiosity but eventually, I ended up
becoming addicted after I started realizing their numerous benefits.
This curiosity didn’t come by accident though.
While growing up, I came to understand that my brain is my most powerful
asset.
This asset, however, requires excessive care and training to function properly.
During these 30 days, I made sure to involve challenges that will increase your
brain’s capacity and processing power, like meditation, listening, and reading,
but I strongly believe that brain training games can also help tremendously.
Although there is a lot of debate going on with regards to whether brain
training games can enhance cognitive function or not, based on my experience,
I can confidently argue that I have noticed increased brain activity and ability to
process information faster after, let’s say, spending half an hour playing
with Lumosity, which is the most popular game training service out there.

The increased difficulty of the puzzles while progressing to more advanced
game stages can unquestionably improve your attention, memory, and
problem-solving simply because you need to be extremely concentrated to
succeed.

Brain training games will be part of your morning routine and will be played
during the end of the routine to increase your brain power before you go to
work or college.

You just need to be careful to limit the amount of time you spend playing to
10-15 minutes, otherwise, you will risk becoming tired and using energy
required for your work or studies.

With regard to which service I suggest, Lumosity is the obvious answer simply
because:

It has the best user interface.

It has the most interesting games.
It is programmed in a way that can help you work more on your weaker
mental skills.
It monitors your progress.
You can compare your skills to the ones of other players.

Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by Lumosity to say all these. I just happen to
enjoy using their service.

If, however, you would like to try other services, here are some I found online:

cambridgebrainsciences.com
brainturk.com
quantified-mind.com
 Challenge No. 11: Dress Well
Whether you like it or not, most people make a snap judgment of you within
the first 3 seconds of meeting you.
This brief judgment might change later on when you interact with them, by
exhibiting different character traits, for instance, but why not start with a
competitive advantage compared to others?
We are still governed, to a huge degree, by our primitive instincts and although
we try hard to achieve higher levels of consciousness, the primitive mind will
always be there dictating most of our thoughts and actions.
Your style and outer appearance is a great weapon and should be used
extensively to support your inner and more authentic self.
Additionally, your style says a lot about you and as Charles Bukowski very
elegantly stated in the past:
“Style is the answer to everything.
A fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous thing.
To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without it.
To do a dangerous thing with style is what I call art.”

There is also a great association between style and self-respect.

Usually, if you dress like you respect yourself, other people will respect you,
too.
It isn’t a matter of being metrosexual or a style geek, it’s more about giving the
impression of a person who actually values and cares about himself.
A man of value presents his best self to the world every single day.

As you begin to dress well, every day, you will notice how well people
respond to you, as well as how dressing well affects your mindset in a positive
way.

For the next 30 days, you need to dress your absolute best.
And by absolute best, I am not implying that you should wear a suit or a tuxedo
every day.

I am just suggesting that you should get rid of your sloppy outfits and create a
personal style that communicates respect and elevates your personal image.
Now, although I am pretty confident about my style knowledge because I have
spent countless hours trying to refine my personal style, and I still do, I haven’t
really invested in drafting a style guide yet.

There are, however, some great websites that specialize on men’s fashion that I
approve of, and you can definitely take some serious style advice from the
guides they suggest. Some of them include:

Reddit Male Fashion Advice

FashionBeans
Dappered.com

Additionally, if you have any questions or grey areas you would like to
discuss, just send me an email at andrian@thequintessentialman.com and I will
send you my comments and directions.


Challenge No. 12: Conquer Self-doubt, Fear, and

Negativity
“A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks of
his enemies and bear arms against himself.” – Alexandre Dumas
A great lesson I have learned through all these years of investing in my
personal growth is that apart from becoming more attuned with my strength
and vitality, I have also become more aware of the profound ways in which I
limit myself.
I have come to realize that my thoughts, more so than my circumstances,
sabotage my freedom and success.
I am the one who allows my insecurities and fears to grow into the tidal waves
of worry that wash my dreams away.
I am the one who constantly delays my own progress, quitting just as the hour
demands courageous action.
I am the one separating myself from others so that I needn’t risk real
connection or so that I can feel better than them.
I am the one responsible for my own self-doubt, fears, and negativity.
So are you.
Every day, you embark on an ambitious journey to a better, more refined, and
more successful reality.
Every day, you fail to do so.
Why?
There is only one reason behind it - lack of control.
You fail to focus on things you can control and focus only on the ones you
can’t.
During these 30 days, this will come to an end.
You will assume complete control over your life.
You will crush self-doubt, fear, and negativity.
You will become the main actor of your movie.
The beginning of the day is when we have the most energy to pursue our
dreams and focus on activities that can improve our life quality.
We can’t allow negativity, self-doubt, and fear to sabotage our pursuit.
We need to dive into those activities with a fresh and positive perspective.
Every day in the morning, in the end of your morning routine, you will take 2-
5 minutes and stay in front of the mirror.
You will look at yourself, smile, and repeat the following sentences three
times:
I am the master of my own destiny.
I don’t let my past dictate my present and my future.
I am awesome, confident, good looking, and ambitious.
I believe that anything is possible.
I see opportunities where others see impossibilities.
I take risks.
I hustle.
I am focused.
I know that nothing is unrealistic.
 I give a damn.
I have big dreams.
I take action.
I create.
I learn.
I grow.
I am [Your Name] and I fear nothing.
 Challenge No. 13: Practice Small Talk
This challenge aims to help you achieve something very crucial for your day-
to-day interactions.
It will put you on track to become an initiator of conversations and also help
you build social momentum.
The social momentum part especially is extremely important for your daily
interactions. You can’t really create meaningful conversations and connections
without having social momentum and this can be easily achieved through
effective small talk.
Before I continue discussing how we are going to use small talk as a tool to
help you increase your social momentum these 30 days, I want you to know
that I totally understand that, for most of us, engaging a stranger in small talk
is not the best feeling in the world.
Whether this stranger is a girl you like, an interesting person at a networking
event, or just the person waiting next to you in a bus station, summoning the
courage to initiate a conversation, unfortunately, collides with our fear of
exposure.
Even for extroverts and socially calibrated people, this fear is there and it will
always be.
But that’s okay.

You will realize that once you start initiating small talk, and become
comfortable with doing that, fear will be just a distant memory.
My experience has shown that no matter how self-conscious I might feel about
engaging a stranger in small talk, most people will feel just as shy and insecure
as I do. For example, when I think back to the numerous times I have
approached girls and they have been shaking because they weren’t expecting
me to come over and talk to them.

Or the times when I have introduced myself to people at a networking event or

at a bar and afterward, they thanked me for saving them from standing alone,
feeling awkward and conspicuous. People love to talk, especially about
themselves, and are typically flattered when someone pays attention to them.
Just be assertive, smile, hold eye contact, and everything will be fine.

Now, with regard to the challenge, you need to initiate small talk with 4 people
every day. More specifically, I want you to start a conversation with 2 strangers
and 2 acquaintances - close friends don’t count.

You can decide for yourself who these people might be but a suggested action
plan looks like this:

Morning
During your commute from home to work or university, I want you to stop at a
coffee shop that is not extremely crowded and after ordering your coffee,
initiate small talk.

Ask the barista about their day and make a compliment about their hair or
outfit.
If you feel that the discussion flows, stay more because this will boost your
confidence. When you feel that the discussion fizzles out, tell them that you
need to leave and wish them a great day.
During Work or University

Approach a colleague or a student in your class and ask them about their day.
Bring up a work or class related topic and discuss it with them while being
polite, keeping eye contact, and smiling. Again, as discussed above, if you feel
that the discussion flows, stay more because this will boost your confidence.
When you feel that the discussion fizzles out, tell them that you need to leave
and wish them a great day.

At Some Point after Work or University

Depending on how your schedule looks, try and repeat the morning “routine”
but in another place like a mall, a bar, or a small shop. Don’t return home
unless you have initiated a small talk with another stranger.
This daily exercise will not only improve your social skills but also your
networking skills.

Obviously, after some point, you will need to initiate small talk with the same
people because during these 30 days, you will not be able to constantly meet
new ones, especially at work or university.

That’s not a bad thing though. You will see that constantly interacting with the
same ones will create better connections and increase your likeability.


Challenge No. 14: Don’t Check Email Before You Finish

Your Most Important Work
If you are one of those people who check their email constantly, I can totally
relate to you because I was also like that.
The first thing I used to do after waking up was to turn on my phone and check
my emails.
Then I would check again during my commute to work and then again after
sitting on my desk and turning on my computer.
But that wasn’t the end of it. Throughout the day, email checking was my
constant resort whenever I faced a creative block or I felt unproductive and
wanted to escape from my boredom.
I was email-obsessed.
At some point, however, I realized that this needs to stop because it was
severely affecting my creativity and overall performance.
So, I developed a very simple, yet incredibly effective email-checking system
that helped me get rid of my toxic email-checking habit.
This system will be an important part of your productivity increase during
these 30 days and should be followed persistently.
The system consists of the following two parts:
Part I - Never Check Your Email in the Morning
Checking your email first thing when you get into the office each morning is
problematic because it can give you a false sense of accomplishment.

You answer 15 emails, and you feel like you’ve done a lot of work, but in
reality, you only finished the least important task of your day.

When it comes to email, ignorance is bliss. That’s why if you have something
important you want to make progress on, I have these five words for you: Do
not check your email.

As soon as you reach your office, work on your most important task until you
finish it.

Any new information you get can cause you to get distracted.

You can’t control everything, but you can control your own self-made
distractions.

Part II – Check your email once after you finish your most important task
and one more time after you finish the rest of your tasks.
Most of the time, I don’t even need to do that. I add email checking as the final
task in my to-do list for the day (we will talk about that your task list in another
challenge).
This way, I use email as a way to finish off my working day and I also enjoy it
more because it becomes a part of my daily tasks and it gives me a sense of
accomplishment when I get done with it.
Exceptions:
If you are part of a huge project that requires constant interaction with your
managers and your colleagues, then you should create a specific rule in your
inbox to inform you for email received only by those people.
Ultra-productive people don’t allow e-mail to be a constant interruption. In
addition to checking e-mail on a schedule, they take advantage of features that
prioritize messages by sender.

They set alerts for their most important vendors and their best customers, and
they save the rest for after they finish their most important work.


Challenge No. 15: Use the Pomodoro Technique to

Increase Your Productivity
Most of the challenges suggested in this handbook focus on the time outside
your work.
I understand that working is a big part of your life and that for at least 8 hours
per day, you will be devoted to it.
The problem, however, is that from all these 8 hours, usually 3-4 hours, or
even less, are considered extremely productive.
Although we do our best to focus on our most important tasks and enjoy
productivity at its best, what usually happens is that we become victims of our
distractions.
Facebook, emails, meetings, phone calls, lunch breaks, and various other
notorious distractions that exist within our workplace are constantly
sabotaging our work, and our productivity suffers as a result.
During these 30 days, this will come to end.
Apart from the task list (will be discussed in another challenge), which will
help you categorize your tasks and focus your creative energy on your most
important tasks, we will also employ another powerful technique that will help
you skyrocket your productivity
This technique is called “The Pomodoro Technique” and it is considered one
of the most popular productivity methods that exist out there.
The Pomodoro Technique was invented in the early 90s by developer,
entrepreneur, and author, Francesco Cirillo.10 Cirillo named the system
"Pomodoro" after the tomato-shaped timer he used to track his work as a
university student.

The methodology is simple. When faced with any large task or series of tasks,
break the work down into short, timed intervals (called "Pomodoros") that are
spaced out by short breaks.

This trains your brain to focus for short periods and helps you stay on top of
deadlines and become more productive. With time, it can even help improve
your attention span and concentration.

The Pomodoro Technique is quite straightforward. More specifically, you only
need to follow these 5 steps:

Choose a task to be accomplished

Set the Pomodoro to 25 minutes (the Pomodoro is the timer – you can
find a Pomodoro Timer on Amazon, but you can also use your phone)
Work on the task until the Pomodoro rings, then put a check on your sheet
of paper
Take a short break (5 minutes is okay)
Every 4 Pomodoros take a longer break (15-20 minutes)

The idea behind this technique is that it helps you find a healthy balance
between your work and your breaks.
Doing work without a break usually leads to burnout and taking inconsistent
breaks can distract you from your working flow.
Another huge parameter of the technique is that it suggests that no distractions
should be present during the work, which means that if you are doing your
work on your computer, you should focus on the programs and websites that
are relevant to your work. The rest of the programs and websites should
remain closed.

No Facebook, no Twitter, no news sites, no email.
If for any reason you need to interrupt your task because a meeting is
scheduled or something unexpected comes up, you need to either end your task
right there or inform the party who distracted you that you need to meet later.
 If you decide on the latter, Cirillo suggests the "inform, negotiate, and call
back" strategy:

1. Inform the other (distracting) party that you're working on something

right now.
2. Negotiate a time when you can get back to them about the distracting issue
in a timely manner.
3. Schedule that follow-up immediately.
4. Call back the other party when your task is complete and you're ready to
tackle their issue.

You can use this strategy as a rule of thumb but you can also improvise
depending on your workplace and profession.

The Pomodoro Technique is not a religion. I picked it as the suggested
productivity method because it is very structured and well explained.

For me, it has been very effective and it has helped me put the way I work
and manage my tasks in order.

You can use variations of it depending on the nature of your work. The
rules that you should definitely follow, however, are:

Eliminate distractions
Work in short periods
Take regular breaks
Negotiate unexpected distractions


Challenge No. 16: Network Better - Send One

Networking Email Every Day
Networking - Probably the most challenging of all challenges.
Everyone says networking is vital but no one really explains how to actually
do it.
I have a confession to make. I suck at networking, too.
I find it way easier to go out alone in a nightclub and meet people than
attending a networking event and interacting with strangers.
The dynamics are different but there is also something very crucial we need to
understand about networking events that most people fail to grasp.
Networking events take place because they aim to bring people together and
help them benefit from each other.
Usually, networking events happen for business purposes but in business, the
underlying principle is that for someone to become interested in you, you need
to have some value to offer.
This is probably the most important lesson I have learned after years of
attending business networking events. If I don’t know how to sell myself and
have some value to offer, I am just wasting my time there.
So the main idea is to always think of what you can give first.
Always look for opportunities to do something for someone, such as sharing
knowledge, or offering an introduction to people who could benefit from each
other.
Do not be transactional about networking.
Do not offer something because you want something in return.
Instead, show a genuine interest in something you and the other person have in
common.
Once you have established a concrete understanding of this principle, you start
the networking race with a clear, competitive advantage.
Most of the people out there are energy leeches who are constantly asking
without giving anything in return. Being the one who offers first
communicates the idea that you actually care and intelligent people will
appreciate that.
Now, the networking challenge for these days is to contact a different person
you are interested in meeting or creating a deeper connection with every day
and offering something.
This can be a piece of information, a drink, a lunch, a connection, or anything
that you think that the person will appreciate and will encourage them to
become interested in you.
I can’t know who is really important to you and your reality but think of people
who can actually help you in a skill you are pursuing or in a field you want to
master.
Some examples include:

Some of your professors

Some of your professors’ assistants
Colleagues who have many connections at work
An old acquaintance of yours who can introduce you to more people
A person who is an expert in a skill you want to develop

After the 30 days, you will have contacted at least 30 people and most likely, at
least 50% of them will contact you back. Just be careful not to lose track of
them and don’t offer to meet them when you don’t really have time.
The purpose of the networking challenge is mainly to get you out of your
comfort zone and get you started initiating contact with people.
Once you get used to this, you can move to the next step and start building your
relationship with them.
This is not an easy task but I will list here some useful pieces of advice
suggested by Silicon Valley’s most notorious networker, Adam Rifkin, in an
interview he gave at Barking Up The Wrong Tree:

Good relationships are built little by little, and there are no shortcuts, so
do not try to push the relationship to progress faster than is natural.

Because relationships are progressions, follow-ups are important. It’s

okay to follow up by email, but keep in mind that the other person’s inbox
is probably swamped, so s/he may not respond even if s/he reads the
email. It’s okay to email again, even if you have not heard back. Over
time, every interaction contributes to a deeper relationship, even when
there isn’t always a response.

You’re not going to be able to check in with everyone all the time. So
prioritize the people you’d most like to be influenced by, and look for
special opportunities to reconnect with them regularly — not just
birthdays and anniversaries but whenever you learn a piece of
information, find a job listing, or make a connection that could be
relevant to them.

Once in a while, think of two people who should know each other but
don’t, and introduce them. Follow through with them later to learn from
whether that introduction was worthwhile, so you can get better at making
introductions. Practice!

Imagine you got laid off today. Who are the 5-10 people you’d write to
for advice? Make sure to invest in those relationships regularly, not just
when you have an urgent need.

Look at the 5-10 people you’ve spent the most time with in the last 3
months. Are you happy with the way they’re influencing you? If so, find
another person who belongs in that group and invest in that relationship.
(If not, change the way you’re spending your time! How you spend your
time determines so much in your life.)


Challenge No. 17: Use the “2-Minute Rule” Throughout

Your Day
Crushing procrastination will be a huge part of our 30-day journey and during
this period, as you have found out already, we will be using different
techniques I have discovered online to help you eliminate procrastination
habits and make good habits stick easier.

One more of these strategies is called the “2–Minute Rule” and it was first
introduced by James Clear, who is probably the most famous blogger who
covers habit-related practices.

The purpose of the “2–Minute Rule” is to help you initiate action in things you
should be doing but you usually prefer not to because of laziness or other
distractions.

The main idea behind the “2–Minute Rule” goes as follows:

Most of the tasks that you procrastinate on aren’t actually difficult to do; you
have the talent and skills to accomplish them, you just avoid starting them for
one reason or another.

The 2–Minute Rule overcomes procrastination and laziness by making it so
easy to start taking action that you can’t say no.

There are two parts to the 2–Minute Rule:
Part 1 — If It Takes Less than Two Minutes, Then Do It Now

This precious piece of advice is suggested by David Allen in his bestselling
book, Getting Things Done. The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.11 If you take a
minute to consider how many things we put off that we could get done in two
minutes or less, you will be amazed. Typical examples include:

Taking out the garbage

Washing your dishes after you eat
Cleaning up clutter
Creating your task list
Cleaning your email box

Part 2 — When You Start a New Habit, It Should Take Less than Two
Minutes to Begin with It

When it comes to habit-performing tasks, the most difficult part is the take off,
that small time frame in the beginning of the task until you get immersed in it
and enter a flow state.

The idea behind this small but effective rule is that, whatever the situation you
find yourself in, force yourself to stay in the task for at least two minutes, even
if you find it extremely difficult to do so.

In many ways, getting started is more important than succeeding. This is
especially true in the beginning because there will be plenty of time to improve
your performance later on.

In our 30-day period, you will face the challenge of procrastination and
laziness many times throughout your day.

The two-minute rule can act like a mind trigger to get rid of those destructive
habits we all have.


Challenge No. 18: Work on Your Posture and Practice

Power Posing
I just want you to close your eyes for a second and think of two different life
scenarios.

1. You succeeded in a personal endeavor and you feel excited and powerful.
2. You were treated unfriendly by someone in your close environment and
you feel hurt and powerless.

Now I want you to imagine the two different poses you would adopt in those
scenarios.
Obviously, in the first one, your success and excitement will prompt you to
open up and feel comfortable in your surroundings.
In the second one, however, you will most probably close up and isolate
yourself.
Those are two instinctual non-verbal behaviors that can be observed in every
living human being. They are poses we adopt unconsciously and are strongly
associated with a number of biological and sociological factors.
Body language experts suggest that non-verbals govern how other people think
and feel about us.
The real question, however, is, do our non-verbals govern how we think and
feel about ourselves?
As a matter of fact, there is some evidence that can support this argument.
When something or someone makes you smile, for instance, you feel happy.
However, try and force a smile for around 20 seconds. You will feel happy
afterward.
When it comes to power, it also goes both ways. When you feel powerful, you
are more likely to adopt a power pose, but when you decide to adopt a power
pose on purpose, you will most likely feel powerful.
Amy Cuddy, who is an American social psychologist known for her research
on stereotyping and discrimination, emotions, power, nonverbal behavior, and
the effects of social stimuli on hormone levels, has done an extensive research
trying to justify the duality of this concept.
More specifically, she focused on whether the way our minds can change our
bodies the same way our bodies can change our minds.
What she eventually discovered is that, as a matter of fact, they can.
In her research, the candidates were asked to adopt first a power pose and later,
a weak pose.12 Afterward, she measured the level of two specific hormones in
their blood, testosterone and cortisol.
Testosterone is a hormone found primarily in males and it is mainly associated
with dominance, and cortisol is a hormone that is released in response to
stress.
What Amy Cuddy discovered after conducting the research was that after the
power pose, the candidates showed high levels of testosterone and low levels
of cortisol in their blood and after the weak pose, the exact opposite.
This amazing finding leads us to the conclusion that your body can actually
influence your mind.
This idea is equivalent to the fake it ‘til you make it principle, but it is actually
researched by experts in their field, thus making it more credible.
And that is why power posing and good body posture will be one of your main
challenges during these 30 days.
Power posing and a great posture will severely impact your confidence,
assertiveness, and the respect you communicate to others.
A good posture also reduces the risk of arthritis, prevents muscular pain, and
keeps your joints in their correct alignment, thus improving your overall
health and physical condition.
You need to make power posing an integral part of your everyday life. Even if
you find it difficult, you need to fake it. You will fake it until you forget that
you are faking it and you will become it.
Apart from the fact that a power pose will be part of your morning routine
before you leave for work or school, I want you to be consciously aware of
your posture all the time. You should never allow yourself to slouch or revert
to your old bad posture habits.
Also, whenever you feel weak or sad about something that happened
throughout the day, take a two-minute break and practice a power pose.
You can find many different power poses only by making a simple Google
search on the term.


Challenge No. 19: Cultivate Your Assertiveness

During this 30-day period, you will pay a lot of attention to how you can
cultivate your assertiveness.

I decided to pay close attention to assertiveness because it is an attribute many
guys I know, and interact with, have trouble exhibiting.

Assertiveness isn’t actually an attribute. I would better describe it as a mindset.
It is a mindset that, when adopted concretely, can give a solution to many
problems, like the “nice guy syndrome”, the “friend zone”, and other
attraction-related issues.

However, because the idea of assertiveness usually causes confusion to most
people, let me demonstrate assertiveness in a graphical way:

As you can see, assertiveness is the sweet spot between passivity and
aggression.

This is very crucial to understand because most people fail to identify this
sweet spot and usually end up confusing assertiveness with
aggression. Assertive does not mean aggressive.

If you want a more compact and to the point explanation of assertiveness, I also
have my personal definition for it:

“Assertiveness is a gentle demonstration of dominant characteristics.”

It is a combination of healthy confidence, and the ability to stand up for
yourself and your rights, but without disrespecting the rights of others.

When you’re assertive, you are direct and honest with people. You don’t expect
people to read your mind about what you want. If something is bothering you,
you speak up; if you want or need something, you ask. You do all this while
maintaining a calm and civil demeanor.

It is also important to note that assertiveness won’t always get you on the
positive side of things. People will almost certainly disagree with the majority
of your requests and opinions, but it is within their right to do so. When this
happens, a well-calibrated person never loses their temper or control. You
understand others’ opinions and embrace a “let’s just agree to disagree” frame
of mind. Being assertive doesn’t mean that you will always get what you want,
but it means that you feel freer because you will know how to express what you
want.

Now that you have a more concrete idea of what assertiveness actually is, it is
time to get a bit more practical and suggest some useful ways that can help
assertiveness become a strong part of your daily interactions.

1. Embrace Assertiveness as a Mindset

Before we jump into more specific/in depth examples of assertiveness in
action, it is crucial to understand that the first step to becoming more assertive
is to embrace assertiveness as a mindset. If you don’t understand the
fundamental principles of assertiveness and how they can impact your life, you
will end up trying to fake an assertive behavior and this will most certainly
have a negative effect on you.

I can understand that a mentality shift is quite a tricky process but don’t
undervalue the power of suggestion when it comes to imposing certain ideas
and behaviors on your new self. Yes, it will take time and yes, it will feel a bit
awkward in the beginning but that’s okay. Embrace the process and you will
start enjoying the benefits of assertiveness in no time.

2. Harness the Power of Body Language

Assertiveness, like most of the behaviors associated with confidence and
control, are principally demonstrated in a non-verbal way. As usual, the major
ingredients of non-verbal assertiveness are eye contact, tonality, and posture.

Eye Contact

Keeping eye contact while communicating your need is crucial to eventually
satisfying it because it demonstrates how serious you are about it. This is,
however, a very elegant process and there is a thin line between creepiness and
assertiveness when trying to do it right. Micro-expressions can easily betray
your intentions and miscommunicate your message. A relaxed eye contact that
sub-communicates confidence and compassion is usually a great way to go.

Tonality

Deep tonality is always important because it communicates dominant
masculine polarity, but when it comes to assertiveness, things are a bit
different. Yes, deep tonality is still crucial but it also needs to be combined with
the right amount of playfulness and sarcasm. It goes without saying that the
temptation of adopting a more aggressive tone will always be present.
Managing to escape this point, however, differentiates people who really
understand assertiveness from those who don’t. Especially when it comes to
male-female interactions, the right combination of all these elements is a huge
attraction spike.

Posture

A great posture is a strong non-verbal indicator of confidence and dominance.
We mentioned already in the power posing challenge that standing in a posture
of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident, can affect testosterone and
cortisol levels in the brain, and have an impact on how successfully we can
communicate our message.


3. Stop Justifying Yourself. Justification is a Weakness

Regardless of how much attention we give to the idea of honesty and its
importance in the development of a strong and congruent character, when it
comes to assertiveness, justification is a weakness. Whether we like it or not,
assertiveness is a notion strongly associated with the idea of power. Any
behavior that attempts to jeopardize this idea will most likely lead to a false
attempt to demonstrate an assertive behavior.

The more we familiarize ourselves with social interactions and behavioral
dynamics, the more we come to understand that emotions and feelings usually
triumph over logic and likewise, grandiosity over humility.

4. Pay Attention to Your Frame

Another crucial characteristic of an assertive character is the ability to
understand and eventually hold an assertive frame. This is not rocket science.
This simply implies that you should be able to support your arguments and
speak up for yourself. You shouldn’t allow others to talk over you or insult
you. By no means am I implying that you should start verbal fights. What I am
suggesting is that you should be able to control your emotions, as I will
explain below, and try and constantly communicate support for your opinions
with thorough and respectable arguments.


5. Carefully Manage Your Emotions

A common similarity noted among passive and aggressive men is that
they both fail to understand other ’s intentions, hence they react over
emotionally. Aggressive men, for instance, fail to understand the frame
communicated by others, thus ending up exerting their will through physical,
mental, and emotional force.

Passive men, on the other hand, because of their inability to understand
other ’s views and opinions, constantly submit their will to the will of others.
They try to please everyone in a very needy and sometimes creepy way that
eventually makes both themselves and their surroundings miserable.

Drawing from the two extreme behaviors demonstrated by aggressive and
passive men, we come to understand the importance and power of
assertiveness. Assertive men embrace the balance between passivity and
aggression but in an emotionally intelligent way. They understand that
although it is important to care for others, firstly, you cannot please everyone
and secondly, you cannot satisfy other people’s needs if your needs are already
unsatisfied.

The five suggested methods are the cornerstones of an assertive character and
what I have used extensively in my life to embrace assertiveness as a mindset.

Cultivating your assertiveness is a more extensive challenge that can be broken
down to smaller ones. I decided to introduce assertiveness as a single challenge
because it needs to be viewed from a holistic perspective and all methods need
to have a connection during any interaction.

It will take some time to feel comfortable in your new assertive skin but I can
assure you that after the 30 days, you won’t be able to recognize your former
self.


Challenge No. 20: Stop Arguing

I want you to imagine the following life scenario for a second.
You are having a walk with your girlfriend on a beautiful, sunny beach and you
are both loving it.
You are exchanging stories about your past and you are both listening to each
other with compassion and interest.
At some point, she mentions something that upsets you.
You can’t control yourself and you respond to her with a slightly aggressive
tone.
She can’t leave your response unanswered and she replies with a very
provocative comment.
You are a very proud man and you decide to answer back.
She feels hurt and starts crying.
The arguing lasts for hours and your seemingly beautiful day is ruined for
good.
I guess that you have experienced a similar situation, if not countless, at least
once in your life.
Arguing is a very common practice among couples and also among people
who are close to each other.
Blame it on familiarity, blame it on our lust for power and control, it doesn't
really matter.
What matters is that it constantly happens and it constantly ruins our emotional
state.
When it comes to arguing, what most of us fail to understand is that arguing is
nothing more than an attempt from the individual to satisfy his ego.
No one really cares if salmon has more protein than turkey or if New York has
a better nightlife than Los Angeles.
We argue because our ego dictates that we need to prove ourselves right. We
view arguing as a game of power that we desperately try to win. If we lose the
argument, we are considered losers and feel humiliated.
This, however, is the most destructive approach one could adopt.
Arguing isn’t a game. Arguing is nothing more than a way to waste creative
energy.
During these 30 days, however, there is no room for wasting energy. This
energy should be used for other challenges, which will prove extremely
beneficial for your personal growth.
Arguing should be avoided at all costs.
This, however, isn’t going to be an easy task.
Firstly, you need to make sure not to initiate an argument if someone provokes
you and secondly, you need to make sure to stay calm if someone is threatened
by your presence.
I suggested in the assertiveness challenge that you should try and demonstrate
assertive behavior by carefully managing your emotions.
If, for any reason, someone in your environment decides that they don’t like
this behavior, they just need to deal with it.
As we already mentioned, assertive doesn’t mean aggressive.
Assertive is nothing more than a gentle demonstration of dominant
characteristics.
If someone disagrees with your views and your behavior, it’s their problem. If
you see that someone becomes aggressive or starts to lose their temper, you
ask them to calm down and discuss in a calmer manner. If this doesn’t work,
you just explain politely that the discussion is over and you walk away.
You have nothing to prove, especially to people who just want to satisfy their
ego.
Again, arguing is nothing more than a way to waste creative energy.
You have limited energy throughout your day. Learn to use it wisely.


Challenge No. 21: Be Honest

Honesty is one of the hardest things to achieve and probably one of the most
intimidating challenges in this 30-day period.

Today, however, being honest is a trait that characterizes successful and high-
value individuals.

As Warren Buffet framed it very elegantly:

“Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don't expect it from cheap people.”
And the reason honesty is so expensive, and so precious, lies within a very
important truth we usually fail to identify: Honesty gives you clarity of intent.
An honest person is absolutely fine with who he is and has the ability to
communicate his needs clearly and congruently without coming across as
needy.

Being honest gives you extreme freedom of choice and lets you weed out
people incapable of following you in a so-called “mutual need satisfaction
process”.

Additionally, and also most importantly, being dishonest, hoping that you will
win some stupid manipulation game or that you will not hurt someone else’s
feelings, is the most low-value behavior you could adhere to.

You hurt people even more if you don’t tell them the truth and let them stay
around a fake version of you.

By being honest, you give them a choice. Whether they will make the right
choice or not is none of your business.

People who tend to be more dishonest than others typically don’t have concrete
personal values and boundaries. Dishonesty comes from seeking to take things
from others rather than to give or to genuinely connect with people.

Once you have learned to recognize the dishonesty in yourself and know when
to use it constructively, you will start to see the beliefs and intentions within
yourself that caused it in the first place. Don’t blame yourself or those who
raised you. Those beliefs were passed down through the generations
subconsciously. However, now that you are consciously aware of it, you can
work to undo those beliefs and build new, honest ones.

This is how you do it:

1. Establish your values concretely. Prioritize and reevaluate them as often

as necessary. This will allow you to build strong personal boundaries
(such as an honor code) that you won’t let others, and most importantly,
yourself, violate.
2. Live more consciously and responsibly. We tend to become less and less
honest as we become exhausted, distracted, or inundated with information.
When we learn to live consciously, we are less likely to be swayed by the
twists and turns of life.
3. Establish a sense of purpose in as many things you do as possible.
A sense of purpose will give a counter-balancing rationale on why you
should act honestly. It’s this sense of purpose that you should be true to,
rather than random impulsive desires that fill your days.
4. Take feedback from others. You take feedback so that you can tweak and
fine-tune how you communicate your intentions to others. Most of us fail
at conveying exactly what we want because of the fact that we depend too
much on words and we don’t know how to calibrate our style according to
others. Use people’s radar for insincerity as a mirror to judge your
actions. Because we are all more adept at sensing dishonesty in others than
in ourselves, we must use others’ reactions to better effect.
5. Seek and cherish each “moment of truth” that all of us eventually
encounter in life. We all must testify in front of others at some point.
Testify, a word coming from the Greek origin of holding your own
testicles as tokens of truth that can be taken away if you are proven to be
lying, has strong implications to your honesty. We all experience rejection
and pain at some point in life. However, these moments shouldn’t be just
avoided, they should be sought out. In these moments, we can only
experience truth. Our truths. In these moments, we will learn the most
about ourselves down to the core.


Challenge No. 22: Learn to Listen

Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.
Therefore, the most basic and powerful way to connect with another person is
to listen. Just listen.
That was something a very close friend told me some years ago while helping
me improve some aspects of my communication skills.
And since then, this statement has had a huge impact in the way I see and
experience my day-to-day interactions.

Listening isn’t just a skill. Listening is actually a huge weapon in our

distraction-oriented world.

Even before the age of digital distractions, people could remember only about
10% of what was said in a face-to-face conversation after a brief distraction,
according to a 1987 study that remains a key gauge of conversational recall.13

Researchers believe that our listening skills have been reduced even more
since then because of the rise of multitasking and the digitalization of our lives.

Additionally, most people can think more than twice as fast as the average
person talks, allowing the mind to wander.

The failure to listen well not only prolongs meetings and discussions but can
also hurt relationships and damage careers.

However, it is possible to improve your listening skills—first, by becoming
aware of the ways you may tune others out.

The most common reasons you fail to listen are:

You are busy thinking about what they want to say next.
You listen only long enough to figure out whether the speaker's views
conform to your own.
You filter and judge others' talk based on pre-existing assumptions,
expectations, and intentions.
You are distracted by your phone or other outside stimuli.

Learning to listen whilst in a conversation or a meeting will be one of your
challenges during these 30 days.
I consider listening such an important skill because individuals who know how
to listen are considered more knowledgeable, authoritative, respectable, and
likeable.

Listening will also help you manage your emotions better, absorb more
information, and eventually create deeper connections.

Here are a few tips on how to be a better listener:

Before a conversation:

• Clear your mind of distractions by doing “brain dump”, making notes or task
lists you can easily pick up again later.

• Make a list of questions or topics you want to cover, to prevent brain freeze.

• Plan in advance to limit the time you spend talking to 20 or 25% of the
conversation.

• Drop any assumption that you already know what the other person will say.

• Put down, ignore, or turn off phones, other mobile devices, and computers.

During the conversation:

• Take notes to stay focused while listening.

• Paraphrase what you think the speaker said and ask if you're on target.
• Ask clarifying questions to sharpen the focus of the conversation.

• Notice the speaker's body language and facial expressions as potential

sources of meaning.

• Use pauses to reflect or draw out more information.



Challenge No. 23: No Alcohol, No Smoking, No Drugs

I won’t lie to you.
This 30-day challenge will be tough.
During these 30 days, you will be pushed to your limits, you will face
resistance, and you will think of quitting countless times.
Therefore, we need to make sure that apart from your brain, your body will
also be a valuable ally in this attempt of yours.
Alcohol, smoking, and drugs can all offer a temporary sense of pleasure but at
the same time, their effect on your body can be destructive.
All three activities fill your body with poisonous toxins that severely affect the
way it works and take a heavy toll on your overall performance.
Additionally, long-term consumption of these substances can increase the risk
for heart diseases, liver inflammations, weakened immune system, and even
cancer.
If you aren’t consuming any of these substances, then good for you. If you are,
however, then you need to make sure that you will stay away from them for the
whole duration of these 30 days.
Even if it feels difficult in the beginning, you will start realizing the benefits of
this process within the first five days.
You will feel healthier.
You will feel stronger.
You will feel more alive.
You will put a lot more energy to the rest of the challenges.


Challenge No. 24: Play for One Hour Every Day

When we are children, we all know how to embrace the magic of play in our
lives.
As we grow up, however, we begin to lose our sense of play. In simple words,
what play is, is the idea of engaging in something just because you like it.
You can let yourself go and get lost in the creative process that play elicits
within you.
The paradox of play is that if you think seriously about it, play cannot exist
unless you are present, grounded, and somehow loose. Loose in terms of
releasing yourself from all restrictions and limitations, free from stress and
fear.
When we grow up, play slowly starts to disappear, being substituted by work,
which is actually the opposite of play. Work is something serious, something
that, in general, people hate. Work doesn’t help people to let loose, but instead,
forces us to get caught up in our heads.
We are not playing anymore. We are not present anymore. We are not in the
moment anymore.
This handbook was designed to help you get your life back on track, man up,
and quit being a perpetual boy.

But becoming an adult man shouldn’t mean that you completely extinguish
your boyish spirit and vitality.
Indeed, an irrepressible boyishness is essential to a life of fun, humor, and
happiness. Even though becoming a man means putting away some childish
things, playtime shouldn’t be one of them.

Play boosts our optimism, increases our positive emotions, and if performed
with others, gives us a sense of belonging and community. According to Dr.
Stuart Brown, the head of the National Institute for Play14 (yes, it’s a real
institute), although we think the opposite of play is work, it’s actually
depression.

Play is also essential to having healthy relationships with others. To quote the
National Institute for Play:
“Play refreshes a long-term adult-adult relationship; some of the hallmarks of
its refreshing, oxygenating action are: humor, the enjoyment of novelty, the
capacity to share a lighthearted sense of the world’s ironies, the enjoyment of
mutual storytelling, the capacity to openly divulge imagination and fantasies.
These playful communications and interactions, when nourished, produce a
climate for easy connection and deepening, more rewarding relationship – true
intimacy.

Take play out of the mix, and like the oxygen deprived cyanotic, the
relationship becomes a survival endurance contest. Without play skills, the
repertoire to deal with inevitable stresses is narrowed. Even if loyalty,
responsibility, duty, and steadfastness remain, without playfulness there will be
insufficient vitality left over to keep the relationship buoyant and satisfying.”

Needless to say, play should be an important part of your day and will be one
of your 30 challenges during these 30 days.

Play will be the first item in your evening routine because it will help you relax
after a stressful day.

Play can be manifested in many ways but it is up to you to decide what type of
play you enjoy the most.
You don’t need to overcomplicate things. Just think of an activity you enjoy
doing and perform it for one hour.

Some examples include:

 Video games
Sports
Music instruments
Watching a sports game
Teasing and playing with your girlfriend
Roleplaying games
Fantasy games

One thing to note here is that you need to be extra careful not to lose track of
time and exceed the one-hour of play because you will not have time for the
remaining challenges.

Play is beneficial but it is also addictive. During these 30 days, we will stay
away from addictions.


Challenge No. 25: Express Gratitude toward Yourself and

Toward People in Your Environment
Aesop said, “Gratitude is the sign of noble souls.”

I guess that this famous ancient Greek storyteller had a good reason to say that.
I don’t really know what that reason was but I can certainly say that gratitude is
one of the hallmarks of a life well lived. It is a virtue that profoundly impacts
your personal happiness and the quality of your relationships.

The problem, however, is that we rarely realize that. Although gratitude could
be an important part of our everyday lives, we rarely take some time to express
gratitude both to ourselves and also to people who have helped us in some way.

I remember, from a very young age, I had a very vague idea of gratitude and
how to express it. I often criticize my parents ‘til that day for not being able to
help me understand how important gratitude is to people and how much it can
impact our relationships.
There are countless times when I have been touched by small acts of gratitude
by people in my surroundings, thus understanding how much it can affect my
perception of them.

There are countless times when I have expressed my gratitude to others and
they simply didn’t respond to my act, leaving me with a feeling of despair and
confusion, and somehow discouraging my attempts of expressing my gratitude
toward others in the future.
Another great confusion with regards to gratitude and the way we experience it
is that sometimes, we take it for granted and we ignore expressing it.
We often assume that people either get thanks from other people or that they
just somehow know how grateful we are for what they do. We are usually
wrong on both counts.

Gratitude is inextricably tied up with the virtue of humility. Gratitude shows

that we’re paying attention to the acts of service people perform for us and that
we truly understand how those acts make our life better, easier, and happier.

As I mentioned before, gratitude is also something we share with ourselves. It

is always nice to expect it from others but how often do you express gratitude
for all the hard work and the things you have achieved in your lifetime?

Personal gratitude really affects your personal confidence and motivation.

Every day during your evening routine, you will take some time to express
personal gratitude for things you achieved during your day and also personal
achievements of your past.
Write them on a piece of paper and take some time to reflect on them.

You will also create a list of people you will express your gratitude to next
time you see them. These can be your family members, your
girlfriend/wife/partner, your close friends, people who have helped you in the
past, and even people who do a simple service for you like waiters or cashiers.


Challenge No. 26: Write in Your Journal Every Day

I always wanted to start a journal.
I don’t really know why. I guess it was my slightly romantic and poetic nature
mingled with my need to self-reflect and log my memories.
I also thought that by starting a journal, I would be the true hero of my story.
That maybe one day, if I become famous, someone will find it and publish it or
keep it as a valuable piece of my history.
It took me years to actually decide to start one and it wasn’t until recently that I
filled the first pages.
I didn't write anything special. Just some scattered thoughts here and there and
some weird abstract drawings I tend to make when I am lost in my thoughts.
And that is more than enough, I guess.
A journal is probably one of the most effective ways of individualistic
expression.
The words you write down reflect your emotional state throughout the day and
also help you release your anger and pain or elevate your happiness and
excitement.
A journal also empowers your creativity and your self-discipline.
Needless to say, a bunch of influential characters throughout the history of
mankind have kept a journal. Some of them include:

Theodore Roosevelt
 Thomas Jefferson
Charles Darwin
Benjamin Franklin
Andrew Carnegie
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Winston Churchill

As I have stated in the introduction of the book, we will be following habits of

great men so we can understand the reason behind their success and journaling
is one of them.
It is quite a challenging task, especially for people who are not familiar with
writing but I can assure you that once you get immersed in the process, you
will love it.
If you face a writing block, don’t get discouraged.
As I mentioned before, just write about your day. Some days might be pretty
routine, but other days, you might feel more philosophical or you might have a
problem that will require you to write more in-depth entries. Just write what
comes naturally to you on that day.
You will see that once you start writing and eventually reach writing flow, you
might even fill pages.

Also, one extremely important thing to have in mind is to never assume that
your life is boring. You are the hero of your own story and everything you do,
even if you consider it simple or mundane, should be expressed through
appreciation and grandeur.

This mentality will not only impact your journaling but also your self-esteem
and self-gratitude.
Now, with regards to the practical aspects of journaling, during these 30 days,
you will be filling your journal entry during your evening routine (this will be
found at the end of the book).
Also, I would strongly recommend a physical journal instead of using your
phone or your computer. Physical writing can help you disengage yourself
from the digital world that is present in your life throughout the day, and can
also give you a vintage feeling, thus inspiring you to write more.
I would suggest buying an old-school journal and also a nice pen to write with
 Challenge No. 27: Create a Task List
Have you ever wondered why when it comes to productivity and time
management, most people fail dramatically?
Well, I have and after experimenting thoroughly with different productivity
systems, I realized one important and unquestionable fact.
Our brain has very limited processing power that it can use throughout the day.
Most people, however, don’t realize that. They think that they can consume
endless amount of information and that the brain will still function properly.
That is a rookie mistake most of us make when we decide to introduce
efficiency and productivity in our lives.
Especially in our overly digitized age, where information is so easily
distributable and accessible, it’s quite common to become distracted by random
sources that most of the time are irrelevant to the actual work you are doing.
Needless to say, the need for an effective time management and productivity
system is needed now more than ever.
In challenge No. 15, we introduced the Pomodoro technique, which can help
you work in a more structured way. In this challenge, we are going to
introduce a simpler but also critical productivity method: the task list.
The power of a simple daily task list is unquestionable.

World-class productivity guru, David Allen, mostly known for his renowned
time management method, “Getting Things Done”, suggests that the best way
to organize yourself and keep moving through your personal projects and
your everyday work is to get it all out of your head and onto paper or into
some other format as quickly as possible so that it's manageable and
prioritized.15

Allen's premise is simple: our productivity is directly proportional to our
ability to relax. Only when our minds are clear and our thoughts are organized
can we achieve effective productivity and unleash our creative potential.

So the purpose of this challenge is to create a task list every day that focuses on
your work or your studies. You don’t need to add your challenges in that list,
because I have created a separate task list for that especially.

Both lists are going to be evaluated during the evening (during your evening
routine) and after that, you are going to create a new list for the next day.

There are two things you should have in mind while creating the list:

1. You should definitely create the list the day before. This is quite important
because firstly, you release your mind from the worry of creating the list
in the morning and you enjoy a more relaxed sleep. Secondly, because in
the evening, you can better evaluate your options based on your progress
the day before.
2. Your list needs to be very specific and shouldn’t include more than 5 tasks
every day. I mention 5 tasks because people usually overestimate their
capabilities and time management skills and eventually end up finishing
less than 2-3 of them. This doesn’t really help to the “enjoy small wins”
mentality, as it will be discussed in challenge no. 30.

Now, because I don’t want you to get confused and start adding random tasks to
your list, I will give you an example of what a well-specified task list looks
like by taking a random daily task list from my schedule:
- Write 1,500 words
- Promote in social media and other channels
- Fix WordPress bug
- Answer emails
 - Contact partners

The tasks here are quite random but also quite usual for my daily life because
they all have to do with my main activity, which is blogging.
The tasks are listed by level of importance, which suggests that I am not
allowed to move to the next task if I haven’t completed the previous one.
I seriously can’t stress how important this is.
Let me repeat it one more time: “I am not allowed to move to the next task if I
haven’t completed the previous one.”
This happens for three reasons:

1. I learn to focus and eliminate distractions.

2. I don’t procrastinate.
3. I experience the feeling of accomplishment once the most important task
is finished and I enjoy the less important ones more.

If you get distracted or start procrastinating, don’t freak out and enter a
downward spiral; just gently come back to your most important item on the
list.

You can take my task list as an example and adapt it to your own working
schedule. If you are a student, for instance, your task list could look something
like:
- Finish exercises from Chapter 2 of subject X.
- Watch 1h lecture on subject X and take notes.
- Explain to myself or to another person what I learned (if you can’t explain
it, you don’t know it).
- Plan my studying schedule for the next weeks.
- Answer my emails.

If you are a professional, you can use my task list as an example and replace
the 1,500 words task with your most important task, which can vary from
coding to creating a power point presentation or working on a marketing
report.
If you experience trouble along the way and see that your task-list skills
require some refinement, please don’t hesitate to contact me at
andrian@thequintessentialman.com.


Challenge No. 28: Read for One Hour Every Day

“Read an hour every day. This works out to about one book per week, fifty
books per year, and will guarantee your success.” –Brian Tracy
Why is it that most successful and enlightened people emphasize on the
importance of reading?
Many would argue that reading has always been the most respectable way to
acquire knowledge and gain access to the thoughts and ideas promoted by the
greatest minds in the world.
I couldn’t agree more, but there is another thing we rarely pay attention to
when we evangelize the importance of reading.
Reading can help you develop your most important thinking types.
These thinking types can be categorized as follows:

1. Critical thinking. The mental process of objectively analyzing a situation

by gathering information from all possible sources, and then evaluating
both the tangible and intangible aspects, as well as the implications of any
course of action.
2. Implementation thinking. The ability to organize ideas and plans in a way
that they will be effectively carried out.
3. Conceptual thinking. The ability to find connections or patterns between
abstract ideas and then piece them together to form a complete picture.
4. Innovative thinking. Generating new ideas or new ways of approaching
things to create possibilities and opportunities.
5. Intuitive thinking. The ability to take what you may sense or perceive to be
 true and, without knowledge or evidence, appropriately factor it in to the
final decision.

All these types of thinking are incredibly valuable in today’s hyper-active

social environment.
In such an environment, the ability to ponder possibilities, see patterns and
connections that others don’t see, and look at the same data in new and
different ways represents a formidable competitive advantage.

And this is something that can only be acquired by a constant stream of
knowledge that only books can provide.
Warren Buffett, the man commonly referred to as the greatest investor of the
20th century, was standing in front of 165 wide-eyed students from Columbia
University some years ago.
One of the students raised his hand and asked Buffett for his thoughts on the
best way to prepare for an investing career. After thinking for a moment,
Buffett pulled out a stack of papers and trade reports he had brought with him
and said, “Read 500 pages like this every day. That’s how knowledge works. It
builds up, like compound interest. All of you can do it, but I guarantee not
many of you will do it.”
Now, deciding to start reading books on a daily basis is easier said than done.
It is a process that requires practice and immense self-discipline and that’s why
it is part of this 30-day challenge.
Reading will be part of your evening routine.
If you are already an avid reader, an hour of reading during the evening will
be a normalcy for you.
If, however, you aren't really used to excessive reading, this might be a bit
trickier.
Reading requires a state of mind where you actually surrender yourself to the
narrative and let go of all distractions and outside stimuli.
My advice would be to start small and then keep building up.
By small, I mean 30-40 pages a day. 30-40 pages is small enough that it’s not
intimidating. Most people can finish reading 20 pages within 30 minutes,
which means that you can easily finish 30-40 pages within an hour.
Finally, 30-40 pages may seem small but adds up fast. It’s a great average
speed.
If you follow this pattern, which you will, you will finish 3-4 books within
these 30 days, which is a huge achievement.

You will be surprised by the amount of knowledge and the ideas you will
accumulate from these 3-4 books. And I am quite confident that after you start,
you won’t be able to stop.

Below, you will find some great books I can suggest for these 30 days. Most of
them are self-growth related and have played a huge role in my personal and
professional development, so they are highly recommended. If you have
already read them, I trust your ability to find similar ones to read.

Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert

48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene
Antifragile: Things that Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb
The Singularity Is Near by Ray Kurzweil
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Myth of Sisyphus by Albert Camus


Challenge No. 29: No Internet Porn and Masturbation

Internet porn constitutes about 25% of all search engine requests7, which
makes it the 4th most common reason people go on the Internet. And although
it might seem to simply facilitate an instinctual sexual response linked to
millions of years of evolution, the truth is that pornography has dynamically
changed over time, ultimately molding our tastes and desires.
Continual exposure to pornography, however, can cause long-term
neuroplastic change in the brain. A study published in the journal JAMA
Psychiatry 8 in 2014 has linked high pornography usage to lower volume and
activity in the regions of the brain linked to rewards and motivation. It's the
first to provide a solid link between consumption of dirty movies and
reductions in brain size and activity in response to sexual stimuli.
I could provide you with more evidence that connects pornography to our
overall performance and well-being but I believe that you get the point. After
all that excitement and brain stimulation created by porn and consequently
masturbation, you have a depletion of energy and this can have increasing
effects in your laziness and lack of motivation.
Additionally, regular masturbation will ultimately decrease your sex-drive.
Dopamine, which is the main neurotransmitter produced by watching internet
porn and masturbation, plays a big role in our sex drive, libido, and ability to
get and maintain an erection. And that’s exactly what’s happening to more and
more young guys who are over-consuming Internet pornography.
The constant flood of dopamine eventually reduces the brain’s receptors for
this neurotransmitter, which, in turn, dulls sexual arousal when you actually
want to have sex with a real girl.
As far as the benefits of quitting porn and masturbation are concerned, those
are extensively scrutinized by a huge online community developed around
them, called NoFap.9 The community has thousands of members who have
expressed the countless benefits experienced after quitting these activities.
Among the most popular are:
Numbed Pleasure Response healing: You may suffer from something
called Numbed Pleasure Response (perhaps even Erectile Dysfunction or
Delayed Ejaculation), making it harder for you to reach pleasure or
climax. Abstaining from pornography, and possibly masturbation
altogether, may help you overcome these problems.
Improved attitude: Many members of the NoFap community describe
increased happiness throughout their lives, especially in their attitudes
toward sex.
Increased Self-control: If you feel you may be addicted to pornography,
or masturbate excessively, there are benefits alone from gaining the self-
control to control your behavior.

I personally consider the last benefit the most important.

Self-control is one of the most powerful attributes a man can develop. If you
cannot control yourself, you are nothing but a victim to your primitive
instincts and you end up becoming weak and dependent.
If you can’t control yourself, you can’t appreciate yourself.
Showing lack of self-control toward impulses that offer you nothing more than
momentary pleasure suggests that you are a man of low value and that you
have low standards.
Especially in the sexuality sphere, most men who experience difficulties
interacting with women end up underestimating their abilities and usually
succumb to despair and low value choices.
You either decide to expose yourself to the world, meet girls you really like,
and create intimate relationships with them, or you learn to control yourself.
That’s it. Nothing less, nothing more.
 Challenge No. 30: Enjoy Small Victories
Teresa Amabile is a professor at Harvard Business School and mostly known
for her research on the impact of progress in the performance of individuals.
By collecting diary entries from 238 people at seven companies, Amabile
generated 12,000 person-days of data on moods and activities at work.19

Her finding suggested that nothing contributed more to a positive inner work
life (the mix of emotions, motivations, and perceptions that is critical to
performance) than making progress in meaningful work. If a person is
motivated and happy at the end of the workday, it’s a good bet that he or she
achieved something, however small.
The striking conclusion is that a sense of incremental progress is vastly more
important to happiness than either a grand mission or financial incentives.

In another recent research among U.S. entrepreneurs by the business scholar,
Saras Sarasvathy,20 what he found out was that “whatever they tell you on TV's
Dragons' Den, the successful entrepreneurs rarely made long-range business
plans, and scorned market research. They went for quick wins – a few sales,
then a few more – instead. Their philosophy was ‘ready, fire, aim.’”

Breaking big challenges down into chunks isn't original advice, of course.
What the above-mentioned studies try to emphasize is that our perception of
achievement is quite distorted in real life.

Our constant pursuit of achievements that will place us in a position of value in
the eyes of others somehow disorients us from the idea of achievement itself.

Since our early childhood, our acts were incentivized by the reward we would
receive from our parents. These results could be tangible, or intangible in a
sense that it could be manifested in the form of an appraisal or a present.

Whatever we did, we did it because we wanted to experience a degree of praise
and admiration from our caretakers, a praise that would eventually give us
strength and motivation to keep doing what we were doing.

The degree to which this praise and admiration was received obviously varies
from individual to individual, the fact is, however, that the need for it was
always there and it still is.

Our ability to recognize its importance, however, incrementally affects our
performance in our every day endeavors.

Having big goals and aspirations is of huge importance because it gives you a
vision, but celebrating small goals and victories is what will eventually
materialize this vision.

And that is why enjoying small victories will be one of the challenges during
these 30 days.

When you make this idea an everyday process, you will be impressed at what a
high achiever you are and this will give you fuel to keep on going.

The way we will monitor your achievements during these 30 days will be in
two ways:

1. You will need to complete the 30 challenges spreadsheet every day and
tick every challenge you managed to accomplish.
2. You will need to complete your task list for the day, as mentioned in
challenge 29, which is created the night before and is devoted entirely to
your work or your studies.

Although the idea of completing all challenges and tasks might sound
challenging and overwhelming, I took care of your daily schedule to make
your tasks and challenges easier to manage.

With my guidance in mind, and your will and self-discipline as a guide, you
will see that the challenges aren’t just feasible but you will keep craving them
day after day.

This is How Your Day Will Look
Congratulations for checking out the challenges and I hope that you read every
challenge carefully to understand their importance and the impact they will
have in your life.
Now it is time to put some order into these overwhelming challenges,
otherwise, you will find it impossible to accomplish all 30 of them every
single day.
After careful consideration of every challenge, I managed to identify the time
of the day when each challenge can be performed more effectively and below, I
present you the way this can be done.
We will divide your day into four major parts:

Morning routine
Commute-Work-Commute
Free time
Evening routine

Morning routine
The morning routine is probably the most important part of your day because
during that time, you set the foundations for the rest of your day.
During the morning routine, we will focus on challenges that aim to wake you
up, motivate you, inspire you, help you focus, and give you strength to
continue your day in full power.
This is what your morning routine will look like:

Wake up at 5am.
Perform your morning workout - Duration: 30 minutes
Take a cold shower - Duration: 10 -15 minutes
Take care of your skin – Duration: 5-10 minutes
Cook and eat – Duration: 45 minutes-1 hour
Clean and eliminate clutter – Duration: 15-30 minutes
Meditate – Duration: 15 minutes
 Read articles – Duration: 15-30 minutes
Play Brain Training Games – Duration: 15 minutes
Dress well and get ready for work – Duration: 15 minutes
Read your “Conquer your fears” speech (Challenge No. 12) - Duration: 5
minutes

Your morning routine will take approximately 3 – 3.5 hours to complete but
this is the ideal time because after these 3 hours, you will start your work
completely awake and your mind will be functioning extremely well.
Commute-Work-Commute
I have calculated 10 hours for your work and commute to help you organize
your time better. This, however, can change depending on your schedule and
responsibilities.
During these 10 hours, you will focus on most of your social and productivity
challenges.
More specifically:

Small talk with a barista – During Commute

Pomodoro Technique – During Work
Small talk with a colleague – During Work
Check email – During Work (after you finish your most important tasks)
Send networking email – During Work (after you finish your most
important tasks)
Small talk with one more person – During Commute

During this time, you will also need to make sure to accomplish challenges that
might occur any time during the day. These challenges are:

Take care of your posture and use power posing whenever you feel weak.
Use the 2-minute rule.
Listen.
Be assertive.
Don’t argue.
Be honest.
Eat every 3 hours.
 No Masturbation and Internet Porn.

Free time
Free time will be around 2 hours after you finish work.
During this time, you can decide whether you want to work out, hang out with
some friends, or just chill.
The most important thing to have in mind, however, is that during these two
hours, one of them should be extremely enjoyable. This is the hour where you
play.
The nature of the play depends solely on you. You might decide that working
out is considered play, for instance.
Whatever you decide, make sure to have fun with it.
Evening routine
After such a long and stressful day, you will use the evening routine as an
opportunity to calm down, self-reflect, and introspect.
The evening routine will last for about 2 hours and the challenges included are:

Eat dinner – Duration: 15 minutes

Celebrate small wins – Duration: 5-10 minutes
Write in your journal – Duration: 10-15 minutes
Perform self-gratitude – Duration: 5-10 minutes
Create task list for the next day – Duration: 10-15 minutes
Read – Duration: 45 minutes – 1 hour
 Note for Your Weekends
Because it’s weekend, it doesn’t mean that you will stop the challenges.
You will most probably stop working, which means that you could probably
skip the Pomodoro Technique (or use it in another project you work on during
weekends) but the rest of the challenges need to be pursued as usual.
The weekend usually means more free time and more time socializing.
Use this time wisely to do things that you love and meet new people.
During the weekend, you can actually perform most of your social challenges,
like being assertive, initiating small talk, listening, etc.
If you plan to go out late, you can perform your evening routine before going
out in case you come home tired and you only want to sleep.


Conclusion
Sustaining an effort is the most important thing for any ambitious endeavor.
The way to be successful is to learn how to do things right, then do them the
same way every time.
Over the length of these 30 days, a correlation will appear between the effort
you put into completing these challenges and your overall success as an
individual.
It may not show from one day to the next, but in the long run, superior effort
will be reflected in the way you perform and the way you experience your day-
to-day events.
There is a surprisingly subtle distinction that differentiates successful from
unsuccessful individuals. That subtle distinction is reflected in small habits and
daily rituals.
These small habits and daily rituals might seem overwhelming, they might tire
you and they might push you to your limits.
But there is one thing about them that I can absolutely guarantee: They work
and after these 30 days, your life will never be the same.

And by the way, here is a picture of my dog, Tony:

He wants to see you succeeding in this badly.

 The Badges
To make the challenges more fun and worth pursuing, I decided to create some
badges that will be assigned to the challengers, depending on the effort they put
into the challenges.
If you complete 28-30 Challenges per day, you are a:

If you complete 25-27 Challenges per day, you are a:

If you complete 20-24 Challenges per day, you are a:



If you complete less than 20 Challenges per day, you are a:



Sources
[1] Yasmin Anwar. “An afternoon nap markedly boosts the brain’s learning
capacity.” UC Berkeley News Center. February 22, 2010.
[2] Courtney Rubin. “Why Morning People Rule the World.” Inc.com. July 14,
2010. http://www.inc.com/news/articles/2010/07/research-says-morning-
people-are-more-proactive.html
[3] Robert Preidt. “College Night Owls Have Lower Grades.” ABC News. June
10, 2008. http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Healthday/story?id=5032915&page=1
[4] Tim Dowling, Laura Barnett, Patrick Kingsley. “What time do top CEOs
wake up?” The Guardian. April 1, 2013.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/money/2013/apr/01/what-time-ceos-start-day
[5] Nikolai A. Shevchuk, “Adapted cold shower as a potential treatment for
depression.” Medical Hypotheses. April 1 0, 2007
[6] “Medical Advice You May Never Take.” Stlurgentcare.com. November 11,
2013. http://www.stlurgentcare.com/doctor-is-in-stl-blog/medical-advice-you-
may-never-take
[7] Erin Doland, “Why you hold on to clutter.” Lifehacker.com. September 9,
2010. http://lifehacker.com/5511865/why-you-hold-on-to-clutter
[8] David M. Levy. “The Effects of Mindfulness Meditation Training on
Multitasking in a High-Stress Information Environment.” University of
Washington. May 28, 2012.
[9] Lorenza S. Colzato. “Meditate to create: the impact of focused-attention and
open-monitoring training on convergent and divergent thinking.” Institute for
Psychological Research and Leiden Institute for Brain and Cognition, Leiden
University, Leiden, Netherlands. April 18, 2012.
[10] Alan Henry. “Productivity 101: A primer to the Pomodoro Technique.”
Lifehacker.com. July 2, 2014. http://lifehacker.com/productivity-101-a-primer-
to-the-pomodoro-technique-1598992730
[11] David Allen, “Getting Things Done.” Penguin Books Ltd. December 31,
2002.
[12] Amy Cuddy. “The Benefit of Power Posing Before a High-Stakes Social
Evaluation.” Harvard Business School Working Paper. June 26, 2015.
[13] Sue Shellenbarger. Tuning In: Improving Your Listening Skills. The Wall
Street Journal. July 22, 2014. http://www.wsj.com/articles/tuning-in-how-to-
listen-better-1406070727
[14] The National Institute for Play. http://www.nifplay.org/
[15] David Allen, “Getting Things Done.” Penguin Books Ltd. December 31,
2002.
[16] The Week Staff. “The internet porn 'epidemic': By the numbers.” The
Week. June 17, 2010. http://theweek.com/articles/493433/internet-porn-
epidemic-by-numbers
[17] Simone Kühn. “Brain Structure and Functional Connectivity Associated
With Pornography Consumption.” Jama Psychiatry. July 2014.
[18] Nofap.com. http://www.nofap.com/
[19] Teresa Amabile. “The power of small wins.” Harvard Business Review.
May, 2011. https://hbr.org/2011/05/the-power-of-small-wins
[20] Leigh Buchanan. “How great entrepreneurs think.” Inc.com. February 1,
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think.html


About The Author

Andrian is an entrepreneur, writer, and self-growth enthusiast. The son of two
doctors with a background in business consulting and entrepreneurship, he
spent most of his early twenties studying, growing his entrepreneurial spirit,
and redefining his place in the corporate world. His passion for reading and
writing has been present throughout his life, and he consistently pursued this
by contributing to highly respected blogs and websites, including Lifehacker,
Thought Catalog, The Good Men Project, and Dumb Little Man, among others.

He founded the top ranked men’s self-growth website, The Quintessential Man,
in April 2014 and within the first five months of its launch, with zero
networking, the website attracted enormous attention, and continues to generate
over 50,000 unique visitors and more than 100,000 page views each month.

Andrian is on a constant journey to help men across the world rediscover their
lost identity by investing in reality-based form of self-help, informed by a deep
understanding of psychology, culture, and his own personal experiences and
social adventures.
 Medical Disclaimer
The author of this book, Andrian Iliopoulos, is not a doctor.

The contents of this book, such as text and suggested products, are intended for
informational and educational purposes only and not for the purpose of
rendering medical advice. The contents of this book are not intended to
substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Please consult your physician for personalized medical advice. Always seek
the advice of a physician or other qualified healthcare provider with any
questions regarding a medical condition. Never disregard or delay seeking
professional medical advice or treatment because of something you have read
in this book.

Before taking any medications, over-the-counter drugs, supplements or herbs,

consult a physician for a thorough evaluation.

This book does not endorse any medications, vitamins, or herbs, nor do we
condone the use of illegal drugs or using drugs for an unintended purpose.

A qualified physician should make a decision based on each person’s medical

history and current prescriptions. The medication summaries provided do not
include all of the information important for patient use and should not be used
as a substitute for professional medical advice. The prescribing physician
should be consulted concerning any questions that you have.

Please check with a physician if you suspect you are ill. NO LIABILITY WILL
BE ASSUMED FOR THE USE OF THIS BOOK. The information contained is
not intended for medical advice. You should always discuss any medical
treatment with your Health Care Provider.

In a medical emergency, call 911 immediately. This book does not recommend
or endorse any specific test, physician, product, procedure, opinion, or any
other information provided in this book. Reliance on any information
provided by this book is solely at your own risk.