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‘Guarantee’ now

2 • Thursday, March 18, 2010 www.dailyhelmsman.com

The Daily Helmsman

Volume 77 Number 92

a four-letter word
Ryan Poe
Managing Editor General Manager
Megan Harris Candy Justice
News Editor Advertising Manager
Brent Fisackerly Bob Willis
Sports Editor Admin. Sales
Joseph Russell Sharon Whitaker
Adv. Production
BY Amy Barnette proper consideration. It is unen- ence and prestige, this recogni- Copy Editors Rachelle Pavelko
forceable, irrational and unfair tion derives from the fact that Amy Barnette Rachel Rufenacht
Copy Editor Christina Hessling Adv. Sales
to both students and faculty. they are typically hard to find Beth Spencer Robyn Nickell
When University of Memphis At the core of the problem and harder to secure. Applying
President Shirley Raines are the basic facts of internships. for an internship can be a long News: The University of Memphis
unveiled her slick, new pro- (901) 678-2193 The Daily Helmsman
Although the student may ben- and tedious process, and stu-
posal to increase enrollment Sports: 113 Meeman Journalism Building
efit from the assistance of fac- dents determined to score one (901) 678-2192
and funding while boosting ulty and staff in tracking down typically apply to multiple Memphis, TN 38152
The University’s stature, she set an internship and earning solid programs, staying relentlessly (901) 6 78-2191 The Daily Helmsman is a “designated
herself up for almost inevitable recommendations, just two par- involved until they reach their Fax: public forum.” Student editors have
failure. (901) 678-4792 authority to make all content deci-
ties are essential to the process: goals.
Last September, Raines the employer and the student. In most academic depart- sions without censorship or advance
announced that The U of M dailyhelmsman@gmail.com approval.
Only the employer can judge an ments at The U of M, intern-
would gradually guarantee an applicant’s suitability, and only ships are encouraged but not The Daily Helmsman is pleased to make a maximum of 10 copies from each
internship to all students, begin- issue available to a reader for free, after which $1 will be charged per copy.
the student can demonstrate an required, so seekers are accus-
ning with current freshmen. ability to perform. tomed to going above and

Solutions on page 11
In February, The University By pledging that any student beyond to meet their goals. But
released a video advertisement with a 2.0 GPA will receive an with this promise, which The
touting the empty promise, internship, Raines inserted her- University brandishes like a car-

underscored by a rousing cho- self into thousands of employer- rot to attract new contributors
rus of the word “guarantee.” student relationships, essential- and tuition-paying students, the
Unfortunately for the school’s ly shifting responsibilities from necessity of ambition and hustle
current and future student body, both parties to the school. The is devalued. Students unable to

words are cheap, and the coun- school’s enthusiasm to ensure attain internships on the first
try is in a recession. Raines’ that students have internship try may blame not themselves
“guarantee,” which has since opportunities is admirable, but or their potential employers but

been downgraded to a “com- it lacks the authority to make the institution that told them
mitment” after scrutiny by the these promises. they would obtain one by enroll-
media and University faculty, While internships can provide
was made hastily and without students with beneficial experi- see Interns, page 3

Domino’s New Pizza
New Sauce, Crust & Cheese

$ 99

Complete the grid so that each row, column and 3—by—3
box (in bold borders) contains every digit 1 to 9.

Across 5 Correction
1 Relatives of odds The March 17 article, “Voters to decide SGA issues
5 Presently
9 Attacks verbally
on March ballot,” should have said SGA President
14 Marjorie Morningstar’s creator James Johnson supported but did not personally
15 San __
16 Fortuneteller’s deck
draft resolution 59-110. 
17 Old Dodge
18 Diva’s moment AARON KARO’S
19 More than plump
20 Park warning
23 Flier that had a St. Louis hub
24 Compete
25 1971 hit for Ringo
33 Sticking places? “Writing What You’re Thinking”
34 Ford Field team
35 Collar
“I love how one of the key points in online college
37 Firing chamber commercials is that you can take classes in your
38 First professional musician to
become Chairman of the Board of
pajamas. I guess they have never been to an 8 a.m.
Lincoln Center class at an actual college.”
39 Galileo’s patron
40 Sumac of song
— by Malaka24
41 2009 “Survivor” setting
42 Muslim mystics
43 Bone injury in which the skin is
“I wonder if stalkers ever complain about their jobs.
intact ‘Awww man, tonight I have to sit in a tree for eight
46 Like
47 Posed
See 32-Down 36 Low
38 Word with bar or days
6 Big name in spongy toys
48 Regular Letterman show seg- 7 Drop 39 Most crazy — by allspamaccount
ment 8 Genesis builder 41 Limb immobilizers
57 Biker’s invitation 42 Battle reminder
58 Pale tan
9 Cheroot relatives
10 Literally, Spanish for “the tar” 44 Chart “Any unpleasant activity should burn calories, not
59 Buffalo’s lake
60 Concerned with
11 Vicinity 45 Shrewd
48 Go after, as flies
just exercise. Talking to your crazy old aunt on
61 “__ the heck!”
12 Some spores, all grown up
13 Jeanne d’Arc et al.: Abbr. 49 Choice for Hamlet the phone should burn 200 calories. Listening to a
62 Freelancer’s encl.
63 Word that may appear above a
21 Possesses 50 “Once __ a midnight dreary ...”
51 Mass seating
country song in its entirety should burn 500.”
22 Alternative to odds
silhouette of a man 25 Eliciting an “Ewww!” 52 Repeat — by nocleverthoughts
64 Not all 26 Takes a little off 53 Monorail unit
65 1/2 fl. oz. 54 Grouch
27 __ Lama
28 Weather, in poems 55 Popular version of a design “It’s come to a point where a cassette tape player in
Down 29 __ Olay principle acronym spelled out by
the starts of this puzzle’s four lon-
a car is preferred over a CD player thanks to MP3
1 Hirsute “Star Wars” creature
2 Seward Peninsula city
30 Back biter?
31 Glitch gest answers players. Next up: the reemergence of 8-tracks!”
3 Shore thing 32 With 5-Down, former PLO chair- 56 Ooze
— by xavierlloyd
4 Take a powder man
The University of Memphis Thursday, March 18, 2010 • 3

rely on faculty members to aid to boost their own profits. As

Interns them, and the few departmental long as college students are
from page 2 internship coordinators could be clamoring to get their feet into
crushed under the weight of so the doors, these companies
ing and maintaining a low “C” many students demanding ful- can exploit their eagerness and
average. fillment of the oath that coaxed hard work to cut staff and save
Furthermore, throwing the them to U of M. In departments money on salaries.
weight of The University behind where internships are readily In a way, by taking an intern-
this commitment could damage available, this may have a negli- ship to help secure a future job,
relations with potential employ- gible effect on faculty members, a student is actually limiting the
ers. Local corporations that have but in other fields, it may be job pool. Employers need not
traditionally collaborated with overwhelming. pay entry-level workers when
the school, like FedEx and St. Financial concerns may they can get the job done for
Jude, hold their interns to high increase staff stress further. The free, and this manipulation of
standards, and as the applicant already-underfunded University the workforce cannot go unno-
pool from U of M increases, the has no budgetary allowance to ticed. It is unfair of companies
overall quality of the aspirants hire extra personnel, so all the to require internship experi-
could decrease. These Memphis responsibility for taking mea- ence to secure a job when those
institutions select from a broad sures to find more positions for internships demand so much
scope of candidates, many hail- more students will fall to current time and effort without com-
ing from private colleges or faculty. The guarantee hurts the pensation from already-indebt-
other cities. The University of staff, and students will suffer as ed students.
Memphis’ name stands to lose well if class quality declines due It’s curious that the harder a
credence if employers are inun- to a faculty already stretched student works at an internship,
dated with submissions that fall tissue-paper-thin. the less likely the company is
short of their requirements. As both Raines and indi- to hire new salaried employees
Meanwhile, the new corpo- vidual departments agree that when the student has gradu-
rate relations that Raines and internships should relate closely ated. The corporations with
school development officers are to students’ fields of study, stu- which The University hopes to
struggling to create will only dents majoring in the liberal arts curry favor have a lot of weight
last if the chosen interns prove are likely to experience a short- to throw around, and some stu-
worthy. U of M has plenty of age of opportunities. If a phi- dents may be crushed under it.
students capable of building and losophy major only finds a few While the intentions behind
maintaining that trust, which
may also become vital to the
open positions relevant enough
to his study to qualify for credit,
The University’s commitment
to internships for every student 28th Annual
school’s financial partnerships,
but the internship guarantee was
The University has no course of
action if he is passed over for all
are likely good, the plan is ill
conceived and poorly executed.
Freedom of Information Congress
not limited to these pupils. If an
internship is assured for nearly
of them.
In such a situation, the school
Unless the school takes drastic
measures to fund the program
Featured Speaker
every student, The University’s will almost certainly be forced and encourage a broader range
reputation could suffer, and in to renege on its promise. The of companies to get involved, it
turn, delivering on that assur- only feasible solution if intern- has no hope of delivering.
ance could become more dif- ship availability is limited is Even in better circumstances,
ficult still. creating positions out of thin air, though, Raines would be speak-
The administration employs and even if the school were will- ing out of turn. She cannot
a handful of personnel devoted ing to turn its existing employ- promise any student an intern-
to internships, such as Dixie ment needs into unpaid intern- ship because, by definition, the
Crase, director of academic ships — glorified work-study school does not provide them.
internships, but these top offi- jobs — they would not meet Perhaps with the semantic shift
cials are in no position to over- most departmental standards from “guarantee” to “commit-
see the internship application for course credit. ment,” she signified that she
process on a student-by-student Though unpaid internships recognizes this distinction, but
Clarence Page
level. Administrative concerns have become standard, their after distributing press releases Pulitzer Prize Winning,
center on forming partnerships merit is questionable. Any and ads, she should find it dif- Nationally Syndicated Columnist
with companies that have the internship can be valuable to a ficult to undo the knots she has The Chicago Tribune
resources to ally with the school student’s resume, even without tied to bind both herself and
and create internship opportu- pay, and may lead to future The University to its resolution.
nities. job opportunities. In a reces- Then again, if it hits the fan, Speaking on
Just as they always have, sion economy, however, many she could probably use a gratis “The Future of News:
students seeking guidance will corporations use unpaid interns intern to lend a helping hand. Holding Leaders Accountable
In an Age of Do-It-yourself Media”
Lee been organizing the event for
more than a semester, said Trey
The Student Events Allocation Thursday, March 25 @ 7 p.m.
from page 1 Easter, member of the frater- Committee paid Lee $38,000 for
“I can’t wait to see Mr. Spike
nity and junior chemistry and speaking at the event, including University Center Theater
Spanish major. the copyright fee for the movie
Lee and ask him questions about
“We wanted to tie together “School Daze” shown Tuesday
Reception @ 6 p.m.
movies and his thoughts on col-
Greek life as well as show stu- night, as well as Lee’s personal
lege life,” he said. 
Alpha Phi Alpha members,
dents that by holding themselves appearance fee. Free & Open to Everyone
to a higher standard, they can This event sponsored by Student Event Allocation, U of M Chapter,
who brought Cornell West to
make a difference too,” Easter Society of Professional Journalists and the Department of Journalism
speak on campus last year, have

Saturday 3/20
Foreign Film Festival SAC Cinema
City of Men Where the Wild Things Are
7 p.m. • University Center 2 p.m.
University Center

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