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… Elizabeth was attractive and bright and right away she hooked up with one
of the city’s typically eligible bachelors
TIM: The question remains: ‘Is this really a company we want to own?’
….They met one evening in typical New York fashion at a gallery opening
TIM: Absolutely!
ELIZABETH: You know. I think perhaps I have met you somewhere before
(Cut to Driving Range: Elizabeth hitting golf ball, with Tim guiding her with his
arms around her)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) One warm Spring day he took her to a town house he
saw in Sundays ‘New York Times’
REALTOR: How about if we start at the top and work our way down? There are
4 bedrooms upstairs. Do you have any children?
TIM: How would you like to have dinner with my folks Tuesday night?
ELIZABETH: (on the other end of the line) Well gosh! I’m sorry
ELIZABETH: (her apartment) Of course. Tell your Mum I hope she feels better.
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) When she hadn’t heard from him for 2 weeks she
called:
ELIZABETH: (on phone) Tim, its Elizabeth, that’s an awfully long rain check!
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) He said he was up to his ears and that he’d call her the
next day
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Then I realised no-one had told her about the end of
love in Manhattan (Carrie in picture stubs out cigarette)
(Typed on computer and spoken) Self-protection and closing the deal are
paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op. (Talking to camera) How the hell did
we get into this mess?
(Pan to NY street during the day Carrie is walking down the street)
To camera: It’s like the riddle of the Sphinx. Why are there so many great-
unmarried women, and no great-unmarried men?
(Pan to newspaper. Column title reads ‘Sex and the City’ by Carrie Bradshaw
with Carries photo underneath)
MAN 1: When you’re a young guy in your twenties, women are controlling the
relationships. By the time you’re an eligible man in your thirties you feel like
you’re being devoured by women. Suddenly the guys are holding all the
chips. I call it a mid-thirties power flip
MAN 2: It’s all about age and Biology. I mean if you wanna get married, it’s to
have kids, right? And you don’t wanna do it with someone older than 35 ‘cos
then you have to have kids right away and that’s about it. I think these
women should just forget about marriage and have a good time.
MIRANDA: I have a friend, who’s always gone out with extremely sexy guys
and just had a good time. One day she woke up and she was 41. She couldn’t
get any more dates. She had a complete physical breakdown. Couldn’t hold
on to her job and had to move back to Winsconsin to live with her mother
Trust me, this is not a story that makes men feel bad
(Freeze frame, subtitles read: Charlotte York – Art dealer – Unmarried woman)
SKIPPER: I totally believe that love conquers all. Sometimes you just have to
give it a little space, and that’s exactly what is missing in Manhattan – the
space for romance
PETER: The problem is expectations. Older women don’t want to settle for
what’s available.
MIRANDA: By the time you reach your mid thirties you think:‘Why should I
settle?’ You know?
CHARLOTTE: It’s like the older we get the more we keep self-selecting down
to a smaller and smaller group
CAPOTE: There’s not one woman in NY who hasn’t turned down ten wonderful
guys ‘cos they were too short, or too fat or too poor
MIRANDA: I have been out with some of those guys, the short, fat poor ones.
It makes absolutely no difference. They’re just as self-centred and
unappreciative as the good-looking ones
PETER: Why don’t these women just marry a fat guy? Why don’t they just
marry a big fat tub of lard?
(Cut to restaurant with Miranda, Samantha, Charlotte and Carrie all sitting
round a table; A group of transvestites are carrying a cake over to the table
singing:
(In scene)
SAMANTHA: Look, you’re a successful saleswoman in this city. You have two
choices: you can bang your head against the wall and try and find a
relationship or you can say SCREW ‘EM, and just go out and have sex like a
man
(In scene)
SAMANTHA: Remember that guy I was going out with? Oh god! What was his
name? Drew?
ALL: Drew!!
SAMANTHA: Right well afterwards, I didn’t feel a thing. It was like: ‘Hey babe,
gotta go, catch ya later’ and I completely forgot about him after that
CARRIE: But are you sure that isn’t just because he didn’t call you?
SAMANTHA: Sweetheart, this is the first time in the history of Manhattan that
women have had as much money and power as men plus the equal luxury of
treating men like sex objects
MIRANDA: Yeah, except men in this city fail on both counts. I mean, they
don’t wanna be in a relationship with you but as soon as you only want them
for sex they don’t like it. All of a sudden they can’t perform the way they’re
supposed to!
CARRIE: Come on ladies, are we really that cynical? What about romance?
CHARLOTTE: Yeah!
MIRANDA: It’s like that guy Jeremiah, the poet. I mean the sex was incredible
but then he wanted to read me his poetry and go out to dinner and the whole
chat bit and I’m like lets not even go there.
CHARLOTTE: What are you saying? Are you saying that you’re just going to
give up on love?
ALL: Noooo
CARRIE: You believe me, the right guy comes along and you two right here,
the whole thing (whistles) right out the window
SAMANTHA: Listen to me, the right guy is an illusion, you don’t understand
that, you can’t start living your life
CARRIE: So you think it’s really possible to pull off this whole women having
sex like men thing?
MIRANDA: Okay Linda Fiorentino fucking that guy up against the chain link
fence
SAMANTHA: and never having one of those ‘Oh my god. What have I done?’
epiphanies
STANFORD: You know I’m beginning to think the only place one can still find
love and romance in NY is the gay community. It’s straight love that’s
become closeted
STANFORD: Carrie, I’m a passionate person. His career is all I care about. I
have to put my personal life on hold. When that’s under control, then I can
concentrate on my personal life
STANFORD: Good, because I don’t have the patience to clean up this mess for
the fourth time
CARRIE: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to visit the ladies room
STANFORD: Carrie!
CARRIE: (To camera, walking away from their table towards the bar) It was
true, I no longer felt a thing for Kurt. After all these years I finally saw him for
what he was: a self-centred, withholding creep who was still the best sex I
ever had in my life. However I did have a little experiment in mind (Stops at
bar next to Kurt) (On screen) Kurt, wow! What are you doing here?
KURT: Hey babe (Kisses her on cheek) God you look gorgeous
CARRIE: Oh you know, still writing the column. The usual. So, you seeing
anyone special?
KURT: I thought you weren’t talking to me for the rest of your life?
STANFORD: Are you out of your mind? What the hell do you think you’re
doing?
(Voice-Over) Kurt was just like I remembered, better because this time there
would be none of that messy emotional attachment
(Carrie lies down against the pillow and sighs; Kurt comes up from under
sheet)
CARRIE: Oh yeah, completely. But I’ll give you a call. Maybe we can do this
again sometime? (Kisses him on the forehead)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) As I began to get dressed, I realized that I’d done it. I’d
just had sex like a man.
(Man bumps into Carrie knocking her bag off her arm, and the contents go
everywhere. Carrie tries to retrieve everything; the man just carries on
walking. Another man stops and picks up her lipstick and some condoms and
hands them to her. Carrie stands up)
MAN: Anytime
(Carrie walks on, turning to look back at points. He waves and watches her,
then turns around and keeps walking – they walk off in different directions)
(Cut to a cafe)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Later that night Skipper Johnston met me for coffee and
confessed a shocking intimate secret
(Skipper walks over to their table carrying coffees, Carrie takes hers)
CARRIE: (Looking shocked) Really? I don’t understand that. You’re such a nice
guy
SKIPPER: That’s the problem. I'm too nice, you know? I'm a romantic. I just
have so much feeling
SKIPPER: No. I’m sensitive and I don’t objectify women. You know most guys,
when they meet a girl for the first time, the first thing that they see is.. um..
you know
CARRIE: Pussy?
SKIPPER: Oh god. Oh! (Carrie giggles) I hate that word. Don’t you have any
friends that you can hook me up with?
SKIPPER: When?
CARRIE: Tomorrow night. We’re all going downtown to this club ‘Chaos’
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Miranda was going to hate Skipper. She'd think he was
mocking her with his sweet nature
and decide he was an asshole, (The phone rings) the way she had decided all
men were assholes
(In this phone conversation, the scene flips between Carrie and Charlotte’s
apartments)
CHARLOTTE: Hey, look I can’t meet you guys for dinner tomorrow night
because I have an amazing date.
CHARLOTTE: Capote Duncan. He's supposedly some big shot in the publishing
world. Do you know him?
CARRIE: (to camera) Did I know him? He was one of the city’s most
‘ungettable’ bachelors
CHARLOTTE: Wait, don’t even answer that question because frankly I don’t
care and another thing I’m not buying into any of that women having sex like
men crap
CARRIE: (To camera) I didn’t want to tell her about my afternoon of cheap
and easy sex and how good it felt. (On phone) All right. Listen, have a good
time and promise to tell me everything
CHARLOTTE: Well if you’re lucky! Bye
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Friday night at Chaos. It was just like that bar in Cheers
where everybody knows your name, except here they were likely to forget it
5 minutes later
SKIPPER: Skipper
MIRANDA: I have this theory that men secretly hate pretty girls because they
feel like they’re the ones that rejected them in high school
SKIPPER: Right, but if you’re not part of the ‘Beauty Olympics’ you can still
become a very interesting person
MIRANDA: So ipso facto I'm can't be interesting. Women either fall into one of
two categories: beautiful and boring, or homely and interesting? Is that what
you’re saying to me?
MIRANDA: All right, let’s just keep them where I can see ‘em. All right? Well I
guess you must find me beautiful… or interesting
KURT: Hey
CARRIE: Hey
KURT: You know I was really pissed off the way you left the other day
KURT: Yeah. Then I thought – how great! You finally understand the kind of
relationship I really want and now we can have sex without commitment
CARRIE: Yeah right, I guess. So whenever I feel like it I’ll give you a call
KURT: Yeah please, I mean WHENEVER you feel like it. If I'm alone, I'm all
yours
Did all men secretly want their women promiscuous and emotionally
detached? And if I was really having sex like a man why didn’t I feel more in
control?
SAMANTHA: (Coming up to Carrie) You see that guy? He's the next Donald
Trump except he's younger and much better looking
(Camera pans to the guy who picked up Carrie’s stuff in the street, who
waves at Carrie)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) and there she's went, off to take her best shot with Mr
Big
Meanwhile Charlotte York was passing the most splendid evening with Capote
Duncan
CAPOTE: Wanna come back to my place and see the Ross Blechner?
CAPOTE: No problem
CAPOTE: ‘89
(They walk off together, Capote with his arm around Charlotte)
CAPOTE: Yeah?
CAPOTE: Well, it was my pleasure (They turn to kiss each other, but Charlotte
pulls away)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Charlotte told me later she thought that she had played
the entire evening flawlessly
CHARLOTTE: I’m having dinner with you. (Kisses him and gets into cab)
CHARLOTTE: Right, West 4th and Bank, please (to Cab Driver)
CAPOTE: Hey, scoot over, will ya? (Gets into cab) Two stops, 4th and Bank,
and West Broadway and Broom (Cab pulls away)
CAPOTE: Oh yeah!
CHARLOTTE: Why?
CAPOTE: Look, I understand where you're coming from and I totally respect it,
but I really need to have sex tonight!
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Back at Chaos, things were swinging into high gear and
Samantha was putting the moves on Mr Big
BIG: I've been smoking cigars for years, back when they were terminally
uncool
SAMANTHA: I've got this great source that sends me Hondurans. Do you want
to try one?
BIG: Cohibas, that’s all I smoke. (lighting cigar for Samantha who puffs it
suggestively)
SAMANTHA: (with a soft voice, and leaning in) Look I do the PR for this club
and I have the key to the private room downstairs
BIG: Really?
MIRANDA: Listen Skippy, you know you're a nice, sweet guy but…
(He pulls her back and pushes her against a wall, and kisses her passionately)
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Miranda told me later that she thought he was too nice,
but that she was willing to overlook one flaw
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Capote Duncan found his fix for the night
CAPOTE: Wait, later. Later (They kiss passionately) Oh listen, I uh, I gotta get
up really early, and actually you can't stay over. Cool?
(A big black car pulls up, with Big in the back seat)
BIG: Well, get in for Christ’s sake (Carrie smiles and gets in the car) Where
can I drop you?
CARRIE: 72nd Street and 3rd Avenue
CARRIE: No, I write a column called Sex and the City. Right now, I'm
researching an article about women who have sex like men (Big looks
confused) You know, they have sex and then afterwards they feel nothing
BIG: (Shakes his head) Not a drop, not even half a drop
CARRIE: Oh yeah?
BIG: Yeah
CARRIE: (Voice-Over) Suddenly I felt the wind knocked out of me. I wanted to
crawl under the covers and go right to sleep
BIG: Anytime
(Carrie shuts her car door and walks away, then turns back to the car and
knocks on the window)
CARRIE: Wait (The window opens) Have you ever been in love?
BIG: Abso- fuckin’-lutely. (Car drives off)
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