Académique Documents
Professionnel Documents
Culture Documents
This is a personal study every communicator, coach, and counselor can participate in to achieve more
powerful, effective, positive speech and writing. The goal is to recognize, counteract, and eliminate
non-communication. The language of non-communication is negative and can be devastating.
Identifying and correcting your own style shortcomings is essential to achieving leadership in verbal
and written goals. First, we have to acknowledge certain realities about negative language. Let's call
them Axioms of Non-communication:
If I say to you, "That's not how we do it," or, "That's meaningless," how have you been helped? I've
probably put you off because my response is somewhat accusatory, like you should have known more
than you did. Negative language teaches nothing.
If I say to you, "You're wrong," or, "That's not true," you are now a victim. I haven't provided
information that would help you know what is right. Even if I follow that comment with some useful,
positive information, chances are that you'll have difficulty hearing it because I have seriously insulted
or hurt you. You are licking your wounds, not listening to me. Negative language makes people mad.
I've told you, "That's not the way we do it," or, "It won't work." Well, if I care about you at all, I know
I haven't communicated, I know it's not what you wanted to hear, therefore I feel that I must now do
something to overcompensate for my non-communication. This is what defensiveness is - a feeling of
inadequacy brought on primarily by incomplete, negative, stupid, erroneous, or mindless
communication. When you hear negative language, it's the principal reason why you stop listening.
As soon as I say, "That's not the way we think," what are your options as a victim responder? You'll
ask me why not, why isn't it, and why won't we? These are all negative responses, which drive
communication even further off any positive, productive track. Your situation is now sliding into the
verbal ditch. Everyone knows why, but no one knows what to do about it. Negative language can cause
permanent misunderstandings.
The news media especially use negative language as a means of balancing almost any positive news or
information. Modern media practice requires a negative perspective rather than facts or data to validate
their objectivity. Here's a sample of what I mean:
Negative language is used in the mistaken belief that a negative response somehow stops allegations,
assertions, and negative questions. The actual affect is just the opposite. Lawyers believe that a robust
denial is a strong communications position. It may well be in the courtroom, where there are judges,
other lawyers, process, procedures, and rules. Outside the courtroom, a denial is fundamentally
assumed by everyone to be an admission of guilt. "No comment," for example, has been heavily
studied. These words invariably create an audience perception of guilt. In short, negative language is
inconclusive and always assailable.
Victory is supposed to be a positive event. If you haven't defined victory, there is no language strategy
that will get you there. Or, to say it positively, define victory and you'll be able to structure a verbal
and written strategy to achieve it.
John F. Kennedy said, "We will put a man on the moon by the end of the decade and return him safely
to earth." He did not say, "Despite unbelievable obstacles, no scientific basis, and unwillingness on the
part of the Congress to fund such a unprecedented, unusual, and doubtful endeavor, we will . . ."
Negative language is the language of losers. Positive language is the language of leadership and
candor.
SIDEBAR:
Let me suggest that you seriously begin a personal journal to help discover your own non-
communication styles. Simply note every negative phrase and translate it into an effective positive.
Double negatives are more corrosive than single negatives. Triple negatives always create victims. To
begin your analysis, ask yourself these questions about every non-communication entry:
1. What is communicated?
2. How is the recipient helped?
3. What can be learned?
4. What is the next question?
5. What headline does this response create?