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CHAPTER 6:
INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

OUTLINE

• Definition of Interpersonal Relationships

• Nature of Communication in Interpersonal
Relationships
• Friendship
• Stages in Interpersonal Relationships
• Motivations for Initiating, Maintaining and
Terminating Relationships
• Essential Interpersonal Behaviours
• Possibilities for Improvement

INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
What is interpersonal communication?
• Asking a stranger for directions?
• Making a routine purchase?

What makes communication interpersonal?

In a qualitative sense, interpersonal
communication occurs when people treat each
other as unique individuals , regardless of the
context in which the interaction occurs.

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INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION
Definition:
Is the process of using message to generate
meaning between at least two people in a
situation that allows mutual opportunities for
speaking and listening.
listening (Pearson et al
al., 2013
2013, p
p.113)
113)

Types of Message:
• Content message
• Relational message

Relational Message

Boss: “Finish your work before you go home.”

Communicate this in the following attitudes:

• friendly
• superior
• helpless

METACOMMUNICATION
Definition:
• is communication about communication

Importance:
• Can solve conflict
• Reinforce good aspects of a relationship

Examples:
• “It sounds like you are angry with me.”
• “I appreciate your help/honesty/support.”

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INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

Characteristics:
• Two or more people
• Interdependent
p
people
• Consistent pattern of
interaction
• Interaction over time

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS:
IMPORTANCE
• Basic interpersonal needs
– Inclusion
– Affection
– Control
• Complementary relationships
• Symmetrical relationships

Conflict in Interpersonal
Relationships
Disagreements occur due
to the conflicting drives for
intimacy and distance.

Conflict is:
• Inevitable and normal
• Can be functional
• Can be dysfunctional

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SELF-DISCLOSURE IN
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
How does one judge the strength of interpersonal
relationships?

• By the amount of information we share with others!

• Disclosure of personal information is the most

important ingredient of closeness/ intimacy

• One way to do so is with Self-Disclosure!

SELF-DISCLOSURE IN
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS

What is self-disclosure?

• Self-Disclosure
Self Disclosure is the process of
deliberately revealing information about
oneself that is significant and that would
not normally be known by others.

Pearson et al. 2013, p. 117

SELF-DISCLOSURE:
BREADTH & DEPTH

(Altman & Taylor, 1987)

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Figure 6.1: The Johari Window Model of Self-Disclosure

Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham

THE JOHARI WINDOW

Importance of Self-Disclosure
• Increase understanding of ourselves
• Develop more positive attitude
toward self and others
• Develop more
meaningful
relationships

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Importance of Self-Disclosure
• Helps in grieving and healing fractured
identity
• Adds relational depth and meaning

Caution:
Can be used inappropriately

Intimacy: Example

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MALE AND FEMALE INTIMACY

STYLES
• Women grow close to each other by
having personal talk.

• M
Men grow close
l tto each
h other
th b by d
doing
i
things together. (A friend does things with
you and for you)

Friends: Difference between men and women

Factors Influencing Appropriate

Self-Disclosure
• Increases with relational intimacy
• Tends to be reciprocal
• Likelihood of revealing
g
negative information
increases with
intimacy of relationship

Factors Influencing
Factors Appropriate
of Appropriate
Self-Disclosure
• May be avoided
• Varies across cultures
• Curvilinearly related

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Importance of Friendships
• Contribute to well-being
• New types of friendships
– Online friendships
p
– Friends with benefits

Friendships can be based on:

 shared activities
 shared information

Cross-Cultural Relationships
• Have meaningful
personal interaction
• Maintain equal status
• Increase
interdependence
• Respect differences

Stages in Interpersonal
Relationships
• Relational Development

• Relational Maintenance

• Relational Deterioration

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Stages in Interpersonal
Relationships
• Relational development
– Initiating
– Experimenting
– Intensifying
– Integrating
– Bonding
 Communication affects the growth of relationship.
 Growth of relationship affects communication
 There is a symbiotic relationship
Copyrightbetween the
© 2013, McGraw-Hill two.
Higher Education. All Rights Reserved.

Stages in Interpersonal
Relationships
• Relational maintenance
– Dialectical tensions
• Integration/Separation
• Stability/Change
• Expression/Privacy

Brain Scott McFadden: What do women want

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qbJOLq5wX
wk

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Porcupine story

Managing Dialectical Tension

• Denial
• Disorientation
• Selection
• Alternation
• Segmentation
• Moderation-compromise
• Reframing- redefine the situation
• Reaffirmation- accept challenges

Stages in Interpersonal
Relationships
• Relational deterioration
– Differentiating
– Circumscribing
– Stagnating
– Avoiding
– Terminating

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Stages of Relational development: Knapp

Motivations for
Initiating Relationships
• Proximity
• Attractiveness
• Responsiveness
p
• Similarity
• Complementarity

Motivations for
Maintaining Relationships
• Predictability/certainty
• Satisfying relationship

Strategies
• Emphatic
• Shared activities
• Shared information

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Motivations for
Terminating Relationships
• Hurtful messages
• Deceptive communication
• Aggressiveness
gg
• Argumentativeness
• Defensiveness

Essential Interpersonal Behaviors

• Affectionate and
supportive
communication
• Influence others
• Unique
relationship

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Possibilities for Improvement

• Bargaining
• Learning communication skills
• Maintaining
g behavioral flexibility
y

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