Elisabeth kübler-ross - five stages of

grief
kubler-ross model for death and bereavement
counselling, personal change and trauma
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ler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm
     
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (which is the correct
spelling; Elizabeth Kubler Ross is a common Note that the 'Five Stages
incorrect form and used above for search- of Grief' model, and
engine visibility). Incidentally, 'counselling' is Kübler-Ross's methods in
UK English and 'counseling' is US English. developing and defining
her ideas, are subject to
Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross pioneered methods in debate and criticism.
the support and counselling of personal trauma, Some of this is reasonable
grief and grieving, associated with death and and balanced; much is
dying. She also dramatically improved the extreme and angry. The
understanding and practices in relation to topic of death, including
bereavement and hospice care. This is quite our reactions to death,
aside from the validity of her theoretical work attracts serious and
itself, on which point see the note, right. passionate interest, and
Her ideas, notably the five stages of grief may be understood,
model (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, rationalized, and 'treated'
acceptance), are transferable to varying in many ways.
degrees and in different ways, to personal Accordingly, this article
change and emotional upset resulting from does not propose Kübler-
factors other than death and dying. See for Ross's ideas and the Five
example John Fisher's Personal Transition Stages of Grief as an
Theory. absolute or wholly reliable
We can often very clearly observe similar scientific concept. The
reactions to those explained by Kübler-Ross's explanation here is
grief model in people confronted with far less offered as an
serious traumas than death and bereavement, interpretation and series
such as by work redundancy, enforced of possibilities by which to
relocation, crime and punishment, disability and appreciate situations
injury, relationship break-up, financial despair involving traumatic loss.
and bankruptcy, etc.
Death, as life itself,
This makes the model worthy of study and means different things to
reference far outside of death and different people.
bereavement. The 'grief cycle' is actually a
'change model' for helping to understand and Take from this what is
deal with (and counsel) personal reaction to helpful, and encourage
trauma. It's not just for death and dying. others to treat this
information in the same
This is because trauma and emotional shock spirit.
are relative in terms of effect on people. While
death and dying are for many people the
ultimate trauma, people can experience similar
emotional upsets when dealing with many of
life's challenges, especially if confronting
something difficult for the first time, and/or if
the challenge happens to threaten an area of
psychological weakness, which we all possess
in different ways.

One person's despair (a job-change, or exposure to risk or phobia, etc) is to

another person not threatening at all. Some people love snakes and climbing
mountains, whereas to others these are intensely scary things. Emotional
response, and trauma, must be seen in relative not absolute terms. The
model helps remind us that the other person's perspective is different to our
own, whether we are the one in shock, or the one helping another to deal
with their upset.
The study of death and dying is actually known as thanatology (from the
Greek word 'thanatos' meaning death). Elisabeth Kübler-Ross is accordingly
sometimes referred to as a thanatologist, and she is considered to have
contributed significantly to the creation of the genre of thanatology itself.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross's seminal book was On Death & Dying, published in
1969, in which she explained her now classically regarded 'five stages of
grief'. The book and its ideas were quite revolutionary at the time, reflecting
Kübler-Ross's outspoken and bold approach, which is paradoxical given the
sensitivity and compassion of her concepts.
Kübler-Ross was a catalyst. She opened up and challenged previously
conservative (sweep it under the carpet, don't discuss it, etc) theories and
practices relating to death and bereavement, and received an enormously
favourable response among carers, the dying and the bereaved, which
perhaps indicates the level of denial and suppression that had earlier
characterised conventional views about the subject - particularly in the
western world, where death is more of a taboo than in certain other cultures.
As stated, and important to emphasise, Kübler-Ross's five stages of grief
model was developed initially as a model for helping dying patients to cope
with death and bereavement, however the concept also provides insight and
guidance for coming to terms with personal trauma and change, and for
helping others with emotional adjustment and coping, whatever the cause.
This has probably helped her ideas to spread and to enter 'mainstream'
thinking.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and her ideas have now become synonymous with
emotional response to trauma, and to grief support and counselling, much
like Maslow is fundamentally associated with motivational theory; Kolb with
learning styles, and Gardner with multiple intelligence.
As with much other brilliant pioneering work, the Kübler-Ross model is
elegantly simple. The five stages of grief model is summarised and interpreted
below.
The Kübler-Ross five stages and terminology are featured here with
permission from the Elisabeth Kübler Ross Foundation, which is gratefully
acknowledged. Please look at the website www.ekrfoundation.org, which
enables and sustains Dr Kübler-Ross's values and mission, and extends help
to those who need it. (Separate reference was made here previously to
the www.elisabthkublerross.comwebsite, which sometime after 2008 now re-
directs to the EKR Foundation website.)
Please be aware that the interpretation and contextual material on this
webpage represents my own thoughts on the subject. I would encourage you
to develop your own ideas too - this is a deeply significant area and one that
can be interpreted in many ways. My interpretation and associations are not
an attempt to reproduce Kübler-Ross's thinking, they seek to provide a
modern context, and to relate the basic model to the philosophies of this
website.
Use of and reference to the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross five stages for commercial
purposes, and publication of EKR quotations, require permission from the EKR
Foundation. You can use freely the other aspects of this page subject to the
normal terms for using this website, briefly summarised at the foot of this
page.
 

elisabeth kübler-ross - five stages of grief

(I wrote this interpretation in 2006. As at 2011-13, this summary has been
used on the Elisabeth Kübler-Ross [EKR] Foundation website as their main
introduction to the Five Stages of Grief concept. I am grateful for this
endorsement.)
Also known as the 'grief cycle', it is important to bear in mind that Kübler-
Ross did not intend this to be a rigid series of sequential or uniformly timed
steps. It's not a process as such, it's a model or a framework. There is a
subtle difference: a process implies something quite fixed and consistent; a
model is less specific - more of a shape or guide. By way of example, people
do not always experience all of the five 'grief cycle' stages. Some stages
might be revisited. Some stages might not be experienced at all. Transition
between stages can be more of an ebb and flow, rather than a progression.
The five stages are not linear; neither are they equal in their experience.
People's grief, and other reactions to emotional trauma, are as individual as a
fingerprint.
In this sense you might wonder what the purpose of the model is if it can
vary so much from person to person. An answer is that the model
acknowledges there to be an individual pattern of reactive emotional
responses which people feel when coming to terms with death, bereavement,
and great loss or trauma, etc. The model recognises that people have to pass
through their own individual journey of coming to terms with death and
bereavement, etc., after which there is generally an acceptance of reality,
which then enables the person to cope.
The model is perhaps a way of explaining how and why 'time heals', or how
'life goes on'. And as with any aspect of our own or other people's emotions,
when we know more about what is happening, then dealing with it is usually
made a little easier.
Again, while Kübler-Ross's focus was on death and bereavement, the grief
cycle model is a useful perspective for understanding our own and other
people's emotional reaction to personal trauma and change, irrespective of
cause.
 

five stages of grief - elisabeth kübler

ross
EKR stage Interpretation
Denial is a conscious or unconscious
refusal to accept facts, information, reality,
etc., relating to the situation concerned.
It's a defence mechanism and perfectly
1 - Denial natural. Some people can become locked
in this stage when dealing with a traumatic
change that can be ignored. Death of
course is not particularly easy to avoid or
evade indefinitely.
Anger can manifest in different ways.
People dealing with emotional upset can
be angry with themselves, and/or with
2 - Anger others, especially those close to them.
Knowing this helps keep detached and
non-judgemental when experiencing the
anger of someone who is very upset.
Traditionally the bargaining stage for
3 - Bargaining people facing death can involve attempting
to bargain with whatever God the person
believes in. People facing less serious
trauma can bargain or seek to negotiate a
compromise. For example "Can we still be
friends?.." when facing a break-up.
 Bargaining rarely provides a sustainable
solution, especially if it's a matter of life or
death.
Also referred to as preparatory grieving. In
a way it's the dress rehearsal or the
practice run for the 'aftermath' although
this stage means different things
depending on whom it involves. It's a sort
4 - Depression
of acceptance with emotional attachment.
It's natural to feel sadness and regret,
fear, uncertainty, etc. It shows that the
person has at least begun to accept the
reality.
Again this stage definitely varies according
to the person's situation, although broadly
it is an indication that there is some
emotional detachment and objectivity.
5 - Acceptance People dying can enter this stage a long
time before the people they leave behind,
who must necessarily pass through their
own individual stages of dealing with the
grief.

(Based on the Grief Cycle model first published in On Death & Dying,
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1969. Interpretation by Alan Chapman 2006-2013.)
 

elisabeth kübler-ross short biography

Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was born in Zurich, Switzerland, on July 8, 1926. She
was one of triplet sisters. Kübler-Ross studied medicine against her father's
wishes, at Zurich, later settling in the US in 1958 and becoming a US citizen in
1961.
Her experiences at the end of the Second World War, including the aftermath
of the Majdanek (Maidanek) concentration camp at Lublin, Poland, as a
member of the International Voluntary Service for Peace, reinforced her
destiny to focus on the humanistic perspective of death and dying.
According to some accounts the young Elisabeth's childhood treatment by her
father was very harsh, which might explain additionally how she became so
intensely concerned for people's worst suffering.
Her seminal book On Death & Dying was published in 1969, in which she
explained the process of dying in which she first described her now classically
regarded Five Stages of Grief. The book, and the supporting publication of her
ideas in Time magazine, achieved wide circulation, so that Elisabeth Kübler-
Ross soon became known for her pioneering work with the terminally ill, and
for her ideas in the counselling and support of those affected by death and
bereavement.
Kübler-Ross spent much of the 1970s running workshops and speaking to
audiences about her ideas, which quickly gained popular appeal and general
acceptance among the caring professions, and which had significant positive
influence over the development of hospice care and attitudes towards death
and the care of the dying.
In the 1980s Kübler-Ross turned her attention to the plight of babies born
with AIDS, and also founded a healing and workshop centre which she called
Healing Waters, on a 300-acre farm in Virginia.
Kübler-Ross's work has not always been universally applauded. Detractors
tend to focus on the 'vagueness' of the grief cycle model (which reminds us of
the need to appreciate it as a guide, rather than a rigid process), and her
interest in the after-life linked to near-death experiences also attracted mixed
response, as one might expect given her iconic status, and the
understandable scientific caution of much of her audience.
Whatever, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was a remarkable woman who carved out
unique reputation in her field - indeed she arguably defined the field itself.
Later in her life she suffered personal tragedy: a fire destroyed her Virginia
home, and a series of strokes left her in ill health. She moved to Scottsdale
Arizona and retired soon afterwards in 1996.
Other critically admired works include Living with Death and Dying (1981) and
On Life After Death (1991) which are among more than 20 books that Kübler-
Ross wrote or co-authored on subjects related to death and grieving, and
caring for those affected by bereavement.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross died on 24 August 2004. The Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
Foundation (EKR Foundation) was formed in to keep Elisabeth's spirit alive.
The EKR Foundation seeks to continue Elisabeth's life work through the
education of bereavement carers, and to promote and enable the
compassionate support of families affected by death across the world.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross was inducted into the The National Women's Hall of
Fame in 2007, a national nonprofit organization that annually recognizes the
contributions to civilization of American women in a variety of disciplines.
 
"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on
earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will
then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."
(Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, 1926-2004, psychiatrist, humanitarian, teacher,
author, and pioneer of bereavement and hospice care. Used with permission,
with thanks to www.ekrfoundation.org and www.elisabethkublerross.com.)