FREEWRITING (no comment pls)

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-- Life. Isn’t it hard to live? Is it worthy to live this kind of life? Or what kind
of life are we having by the way? I think we can’t really define what life means.
For it is implied in different situations in ones life. We can just merely give
description from our own experiences from living the life we are hooked on.

-- It wouldn’t matter, would it? The life I am living at the moment is the life
that I chose, am choosing, and will choose. It is the perfect life that I knew from
the very beginning, even before birth, would I want it to have. It is too perfect than
given any circumstances and in every moment that is happening and ever will
happen to my journey is, in reality, my own will. I choose everything. Even my
own life. This kind of journey. MY LIFE. God allows everyone to choose any sort
of life for there is no greater glory for God than letting His sons and daughters to
actually choose and live the life they want to experience.

-- Our life! What about our life? Who does care? No one cares. Life sucks! But
believe it or not, I know (or should I say WE KNOW) that our present life is the
life we are dying to have. There is no other life that we wanted to live than this one
we are living. For there is no greater happiness than having this present life we are
living and to experience all that we know.

-- We need nothing to know. We don’t live here as if we need to know

everything we dreamt to know. We live here because we want to experience
everything that we knew. We want to feel how it is like to be the one we already
knew through the opportunity of physical realities. It is like we knew that we are
honest and we want to experience the feeling of being honest through physical.
This is the role of our body. It is in this medium that we can truly experience being
the one we already knew.

-- Life is death. Death is life in other form. When we experience death we

experience life. It is the medium of a new whole beginning. Actually death is not
death as what others portray it to be. Death is a new beginning of a new life. When
we die we aren’t totally gone or no longer exist. There is only one possible thing
that will happen to us and it is an experience of a new whole thing; a new whole
ground; a new you. So we shouldn’t be afraid to die, for dying is the happiest thing
that will happen into our life. It is in this moment that we know we are already
complete; done; finish. Our journey has ended and we can now go back home
where God is waiting us.

-- In reality we don’t need to go back home with God because we never left
God. I think it is just a point in saying that it is the moment to learn about the
journey that we lived for and experience the whole essence of being with God.

-- Where is home of God? We; us is the home of God. God lives upon us. We
live in Him. We are one. God and I are one. Stop that notion that there is a “we”
and there is “them”. We are all equal. We are all “we”.

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-- Sometimes I don’t get life. Still I’m trying to understand every angle in any
situations. Pero kasi sa sobrang ina-analyze ko, minsan nakakainis. Nakakasakit
eh! Lam mo yun, parang loka ka na ina-analyze lahat pero nakakalimutan mo na
pag andiyan na, nangyayari na sa harap mo.

-- Ang sarap maging totoong ikaw! However, minsan mahirap kasi we need to
mingle with others, still choosing to be more formal or atleast be the one they want
you to be. Kaya minsan dyan nagkakaroon ng conflict eh! Kung hindi ikaw, gusto
nila na ipalabas mo yung totoong ikaw. At kung ikaw naman talaga yan, sasabihin
nilang ang pangit ng ugali mo or they would just sound it like they don’t like your
attitude kaya they want you to change. And poof!you chose to change but then di
ka pa rin tanggap kaya nakakainis din eh! I’ll just ask one thing, would it matter?
Would they matter? What matters most is what you want yourself to be. This
doesn’t mean you want to act like someone else. It’s just that you chose to be that
one, so they must accept whoever you are. Kasi ganito yan, if we are choosing
someone who is better or would be better than they are, they would feel envy.
Kaya they would say ayaw nila sa attitude mo and they wud want you to be who
you really are. But did’nt they realize that it was really you acting in front of them?
Hindi lang ata nila kayang tanggapin yun kea they make alibis. Well, they
would’nt matter anyways. Who does care? If someone else does then accepting
you first must be the first move. Actually kung ako lang, I won’t give a damn
about them or that thingy! I don’t like to be misjudged. Stop it! It sucks! Bahala
sila kung anung gusto nila as long as it’s their life they are trying to ruin. Besides, I
cud stand still even with or without them. What matters is you. Me! Myself! That
wud matters most.