Alexandrea Wayne 6/18/2020 FHS 2450 Human Sexuality U2E2 Is it love?

Question:
Having read the different theories about love which attempt to define this emotion, how would
you define it? Do you think there is value in these theories or do they simply attempt to make the
idea of love too clinical or intellectual and therefore take away the enjoyment and spontaneity?

Answer: Word Count: 505

To define love, for me, would be entirely different from someone else’s perspective. I

believe it is harder, for me, to break down the barrier to fully define it because of what happened

to me with one of my exs. I lack the physical aspect because of fear of what was taken advantage

of without me really knowing what was going on and the lack of understanding. For that reason,

I am not as physical with my boyfriend as I am with my girlfriend because it is “safer” for me. I

am more emotional and more grounding with him than I am with her, and I think that goes

together. To build something that someone else destroyed is wholesome and meaningful. Love,

to me, is being able to express yourself through the five love languages and be able to mold

yourself to their needs to make it full and to see their smile everyday.

Love is different for everyone because there are limits that everyone has at some point,

whether they are sexual or emotional. Love is a double standard where someone has to give and

take, it is not just the male buys dinner, or the female wears a thin dress to impress the guy/girl

she is with. I have seen, or heard, men talk about not wanting to buy tampons or not wanting to

buy flowers in the fear of their friends thinking that they are whipped and they are on a leash

with their girlfriend or boyfriend or anything under this umbrella of love. I do not even know

how often I perched to my boyfriend regarding the different love languages that I have read and

heard of because everyone receives love differently. Acts of service, gifts, affirmations, touch or

time together. I think those needs to be mentioned because the way I receive love is entirely
different from what my boyfriend or girlfriend does and to understand that, makes it easier for

me to make sure that they feel loved and cared for. But there are moments that the relationship

itself will be 80-20 or 50-50 or 75-25 because of emotions and feelings outside of the

relationship.

"When a person is in an intense love relationship, their brain produces phenylethylamine

(PEA), a chemical correlate of amphetamine, which may result in a giddy feeling similar to an

amphetamine high." (Knox & Milstein, 2017, p. 138.) To look at love as a logical response is a

harder aspect than just being there to feel it and be there for that person. Yes, when in love

different chemicals are released when a person is in love or even having an orgasm, but until it is

felt is an entirely different experience than punching numbers in a calculator and trying to make

sense of it. I do not believe that it takes the enjoyment out of being in love, there is not a harm in

understanding what is going through your body, I think it would mean more to feel it, rather than

analyze it.

Knox, D., & Milstein, S. (2017). Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions (5th ed.) [with

Salt Lake Community College supplement]. Redding, CA: BVT Publishing.