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Therese Dimapilis

Mrs. Pylant

SOCI 2301

18 August 2010

Why Marriage Is Not Necessary

We recall being tucked into bed as a child, mad with excitement as our mommies and

daddies pulled out our favorite story book, and the last thing we hear before drifting off into

dream world is: and they lived happily ever after. Happily ever after? Who lives happily ever

after? Simba and Nala, Pocahontas and John Smith, Aladdin and Jasmine, Belle and the Beast;

yes, Walt Disney, you have made it very clear!

Since childhood, we have been taught at the earliest age imaginable that happiness will

inevitably be attained through marriage. Not money, love, or success, just marriage. Even more

so, we’ve been encouraged by our parents on countless occasions that in order to be content with

your life you must go to school, finish school, find the man or woman of your dreams, then

marry them and have kids. What if one chooses not to be married? Is the cycle of life over or

does life go on? The answer is yes, and there are three reasons qualifying marriage as an

unnecessary part of life.

The first reason is that marriage is viewed, by many people, as a threat to an individual’s

autonomy. For many centuries women were economically dependent on their husbands. But after

the industrial revolution more women began to enter the workforce. Greater educational

opportunities also opened up certain previously inaccessible jobs to women, enabling more of

them to become financially independent (Brown Reference 35). Women have fought a long and

almost voiceless battle against their oppressors, beginning with the notion that a woman was

better seen not heard. It wasn’t until almost half a century ago that women were given even the
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slightest consideration, but today, it is evident that women have made their share of contributions

in education, business, and economy, just to mention a few. As both women and men continue to

delve in the workforce and in all aspects of life, there seems to be no need to be tied down by an

institution, such as marriage, to govern patterns of living. For some, marriage is just an obstacle

that keeps a person from attaining the full potential of his or her career and lifestyle; therefore

there can be no happiness in it.

The second reason is that being married is expensive. Liz Davidson lists in an article on

Forbes.com that there are five types of expenses that should be considered when a couple is

married: day to day expenses, major purchases, investments, taxes, and gifts for each other. The

list is self explanatory, married couples have more to worry about when it comes to expenses

especially since married partners generally consolidate their finances (Williams 173). Making a

small salary doesn’t help with being married, either, even if both spouses had a steady flow of a

small income. Also, studies have shown that the hardest [tax] penalties hit low-income earners

(Davidson - online). The five types of expenses might apply to a single person, as well, except

on a much lesser scale. The mentality that ‘two is better than one’ will not behoove a couple in a

marriage because there are different consequences for each situation.

Finally, a marriage is unnecessary for the simple fact that almost all emotional, physical,

parental, and financial attributes of a marriage are still possible for an unmarried couple. Think

about each one separately. When dealing with emotion, love is usually what drives most people

to get married. What people don’t understand is that you can love someone and not have to

marry them. Love should not be limited to the traditional matrimonial celebration; if it was then

there would be no need for ‘boyfriends’ and ‘girlfriends’. When a couple thinks the only way of

physically being together is by getting married, then they have overlooked a myriad of other

options. Cohabitation, for one thing, should be the first on the list. In fact, cohabitation might just
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solve all the woes and sorrows of being away from the person of your dreams. With cohabitation,

there is less pressure for commitment, so the individuals in the relationship keep their autonomy,

while fulfilling other needs such as the company of your loved one, great sex, and a warm bed to

sleep on at night. Most couples also think that the only way to have children is by getting

married. Despite religious beliefs, let’s be realistic: A person does not have to be married to bear

children. Chances are we know someone, who knows someone, who knows a friend who has had

children without being married. Go figure!

There you have it, three reasons why marriage is an unnecessary part of life. An

individual need not limit his or her ambitions and way of life to the confines of a marriage,

otherwise happiness will not result. In the same light, an individual should not have to worry

about spending excessive amounts of money in a lifetime or be apprehensive about whether or

not it will be enough for two. Lastly, almost everything done in a marriage can be matched in a

simple cohabitational relationship, so there should be no cause for alarm! Marriage plagues the

minds of everyone, whether it’s deciding to get married or not, it will forever be a tug-of-war

between tradition and practicality.

Works Cited
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Davidson, Liz. "How Expensive Is Your Marriage?" 6 January 2010. Forbes.com. 17

August 2010 <http://www.forbes.com/2010/01/06/davidson-expense-income-
intelligent-investing-marriage.html>.

The Brown Reference Group plc. Family and Society. Danbury: Grolier, 2003.

Williams, Brian K, Stacey C. Sawyer and Carl M. Wahlstrom. Marriages, Families, and
Intimate Relationships. Boston: Publisher's Design and Production Services, Inc.,
2009.