MENTORING LETTER #19

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ONCE IN THE LIFE

In the perilous, deceptive times in which we live, we ALL

face a serious human dilemma relative to a need for
belonging, acceptance and sociability that challenges our
commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ and our fulfillment of
what He has called us to do. The truth is that built into the
human frame is a desire to be liked, accepted as well as
approved of.

We seek to fulfill that innate need through people pleasing.

I watched a movie written and directed by Lawrence

Fishburne this week that graphically makes my point.
Called "Once In the Life" with two of my favorite actors----
Fishburne and Eamonn Walker as the main characters,---
these two men played the part of the closest of friends
from "back in the day." In fact, they had developed an
intimate alliance from having shared the same prison cell
when they had been jailed for the crimes they had
committed as street hoodlums. "In the life" is a
colloquial phrase used by pimps and prostitutes, gamblers
and those who "do what they do" behind closed doors and in
the darkness of night in unsavory places.

Once these two were released from prison, Fishburne

counted on that friendship to his own destruction, for
Walker had lied to him and said that he had left the life of
dope dealing and crime. In fact, Walker's character was sent
TO BE to kill Fishburne for a dope deal gone bad and
Fishburne gullibly dropped his defenses, not believing that
RELEASED his best friend would be the one to kill him. Walker not only
2/1/2011 shot Fishburne while they were in an embrace, he poured
gasoline all over the hideout and burned it down along with
pamsheppard.com Fishburne's dead body.
ARTICLES The point of the movie is in its title. "Once IN the life," there
is no getting OUT! Like the mafia, life in the underworld is a
precarious place where even your best friends can become
ONCE IN THE your worst enemies. The Lord Jesus Christ has spoken to His
LIFE: FRIENDS, elect in like manner:
FOES AND
FELLOWSHIP "AND A MAN'S FOES SHALL BE THEY OF HIS OWN
HOUSEHOLD!" (Matt 10:36)

DELIVERANCE How does this scripture play out today among Christians?
FROM Some who may fundamentally agree with our position and
CHURCH even our beliefs can still be our worst enemies because they
refuse to face the truth themselves. Here is an example of
ADDICTION
such a case from my own experience this past week. An
anonymous person ---who I sensed to be a man--- sent me a
complimentary email about my second book,---a book that I
have attempted to take off of the market, to no avail. So the
first thing I did was suggest that he read the re-write, "Come
Out of Her, God's People." I also explained to him why I no
longer promote "the Making of a Prophet."

In the course of our interactions back and forth, the "man"

made the following statement: I too am a prophet of God and
I do not hear from the devil. Every word that I receive is from
the Lord and the voice of a stranger I will not
follow." In response, I made ONE simple statement that
went something like this." ANYONE who does not believe that
they hear from the devil is deceived already. If the devil had
the nerve to speak to the son of God Himself, he will certainly
speak to us."

Well, My readers, "the man" went email berserk, sending

multiple emails, each within mere minutes of each other.
The religious demon in him was very easy to discern.
Ultimately, he yielded to that spirit by allowing himself to be
used to attack me where the demon wrongfully believes
Become a that I am most vulnerable--- the demon used this man to
Lover of the send me the spirit of rejection.
Truth!

Here is the final word that a perfect stranger who claims to

be a Christian prophet wrote to me, word for word, in touch
with me for only ONE day:"

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TRUTH IS THE
LITMUS TEST!
"Why are you so concerned about what a stranger does or
doesn't think that you can't walk away from the matter w/out
needing reassurance from me that you will NOT receive.

Certainly you yourself - social worker, counselor and all your

credentials - couldn't have an issue when someone doesn't
"receive" you. No - that could absolutely not be it - but that is
the root of the matter. I'm ending the discourse because I
don't like argumentative SPIRITUALLY-PRIDEFUL people - and
that is the truth of the matter. I thought we could have
discourse as "peers" but that is not possible - you read into
everything a person writes. I don't have time for this nor will I
waste my time in this way. I was hesitant to approach you
because I know many like yourself - your knowledge or what
you PERCEIVE as knowledge has PUFFED you up so that you
are UNAPPROACHABLE! In fact, many have removed
themselves from you because of your persistent and
ARGUMENTATIVE speech.

And that is FROM the Lord.

I am blocking your e-mail - so there is no need to reply - you

have not respected that I said I have a migraine right now as
well - but I have been gracious to answer in a timely manner.
The Lord showed me your "many words" stem from
"insecurity" - if you are so SURE of what you think you know,
why do you defend yourself in SO MANY WORDS. God is your
defense, not your protestations or accusations."

THIS STRANGER WROTE 10 MORE EMAILS AFTER HE CLAIMED

THAT HE WOULD END THE COMMUNCATION, demonstrating
with each one of them how severely demonized and
tormented he actually is. The obsession/compulsion
continued because he actually could not stop himself from
writing them, until I stopped trying to reason with this man
LEARN HOW and I wrote directly to the demon INSIDE OF HIM with the
TO WALK following statement:
ALONE!
RELIGIOUS DEVIL, EACH TIME YOU SEND ME AN EMAIL, I AM
GOING TO CONFRONT YOU WITH THE NAME OF JESUS CHRIST
OF NAZARETH."

In one of the earlier emails, he wrote "I agree with your

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perspective on the organized church, charismatic witchcraft,
the great falling away, the rapture, the return of the Lord and
the Anti-Christ."

If that be true, then "what actually happened here?"

What happened is that when I confronted him with the truth--

--that ALL prophets are vulnerable to deception----that
demons can masquerade as angels of light, that we MUST try
the spirits to see if they be of God, the hidden demon in this so
called prophet exposed himself.

One of the important evidences that I notice is that demons

INSIDE of their captives often are unaware of the strides and
advances that those they attack have made in their spiritual
walk. For example, when I wrote my second book, I admit
that I was still vulnerable to the spirit of rejection. Even so,
the demons that watch me daily KNOW that I have no
problem walking alone. Yet, the demon IN this captive,
having themselves read my second book through this man's
eyes, assumed that vulnerability to rejection STILL has a
place in me. They made a big mistake. Perhaps five years
ago, my shield of faith would not have blocked the fiery dart.
Yet my spirit was not ONCE touched through this attack.
Throughout, I was trying to help the man see his condition,
but his delusion runs too deep at the present time.

Today is a different story. As one content to walk alone, I do

not seek acceptance. Certainly I will accept it if it is genuine,
but I don't NEED personal regard or acclaim. Nor am I looking
for a following or a sheepfold to lead, neither am I seeking a
place to belong. Like Jesus, I am a root in dry ground. My
nourishment as a believer does not come from Christian
fellowship. Even though I enjoyed "church," I was never really
edified by it. My sustenance does not require "the
communal." If I could redeem all of the time I have spent in
vain Christian conversation with people who did not practice
what they CLAIMED TO BELIEVE, I would do so because when
you get to be my age, MORE TIME IS A BLESSING. So today, I do
not waste precious time with people who prefer to remain "in
the dark." This strange email sender did not usurp more than
an hour of my precious time.

Not to waste time is truly an important accomplishment for I

must work while it is day, for when my night comes, my work

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will be over. This emailer is a professing Christian that I could
have wasted loads of precious time on because "we agreed on
ALL of the essentials doctrines."

This is the key. If you put the truth in the face of those around
you, their reaction will expose "what you need to see and to
know." And you will redeem your time. Below find the issues
that those who are stuck on being accepted are facing.
Ironically enough, when he was not offended by the truth I
shared with him, he sent me an excerpt from a newsletter.
When I read it, I said to myself, "THIS SOUNDS LIKE ME."
Nevertheless, once I found the website, I realized that
the author of the newsletter remains a Charismatic minister,
still not yet fully in the light so I cannot share his website at
this time. However, here is the quotation, underlined.

"Saints cannot participate in most of that which is offered by

the churches. Participation with the events of most churches
(or even the goals and membership requirements) violate
their covenant with Jesus. The dilemma of the saints in 2011 is
where can they fellowship?

Those who truly hear the Spirit will be grieved. Or like Lot,
they will be vexed in their spirits with most of what is offered
in the religious buffet served up today. Because of loneliness,
some have compromised and re-entered the religious
playground. The majority of emails and letters I receive are
from those who have been dislodged in various religious
circles and have nothing in common with the milieu of today.
When they have tried to re-enter the congregations, they do so
as spectators who are often looked upon as "outcasts."

Some, after being awakened, rationalize their desire to stay

"churched." They claim that "God wants me to remain and be
a witness." How can this be? God said "Come ye OUT from
among them and be separate." Besides, I believe very few of
them rise up in meetings or elsewhere and declare openly the
errors they encounter.

Reformation simply is Not Going to Happen! Reform of the

masses of congregations is not on God's agenda. It wasn't in
Jesus' day, nor is it in our own. Nowhere in the New Testament
account of Jesus' ministry is there found one trace of evidence
He believed the Temple would experience reform or revival.
The same is today! STOP TRYING!"

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(These are not my words but they certainly COULD BE!

I have an even more serious consideration for you to reflect

upon for those of you who continue to crave Christian
fellowship and are struggling with loneliness. Places of
congregate worship are filled with the enemy. The danger is
even more profound because MOST of believers in
league with the enemy of our souls do not even have a clue
that they are not yet born again and so they function as
demonic hosts. Consequently, I warn each and every one of
my clients to stay away from such settings. On occasion,
they do not heed my warnings and some have suffered a
demonic backlash. You need to be prepared for the
possibility that God will NOT protect from disaster
those who have been forewarned.

If you haven't guessed by now, I love to watch movies. In

them, I find lots of metaphorical examples of spiritual
truths. I'm thinking of an old one now, starring Harry
Belafonte. In it, he was one of a few survivors of a
worldwide nuclear war. He "walked alone" for months,
perhaps years, fellowshipping with department store
dummies he propped into chairs , chatting with these silent
mannequins as he sat at his kitchen table. Lonely for human
contact, Belafonte’s character wholeheartedly embraced
two additional survivors who entered his camp but
consequently, "all hell broke loose."

There are many other movies with a similar theme. I think

of another where a man locked himself in his house to avoid
the aftermath of a chemical warfare. As much as he loved his
wife, he refused to open the front door to her in fear that
she would contaminate him.

This is the reality. The wheat and the tare have grown
together for so long, that they look just alike. Anyone who
leaves the fold will have to arm themselves against those
who "fast and pray" to bring them back. Some will even pray
that evil come upon you so that you will run back to them
and sometimes these prayers bring forth the desired result.
This is the power of charismatic witchcraft. So before you
open your spiritual door to those who claim to belong to

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Jesus, confront them with some truth and see how
they react. Truth is the litmus test.

PAM'S BOOK CORNER

An excerpt from "Come Out of Her, God's People."

DELIVERANCE FROM CHURCH ADDICTION

Deliverance from church is no easy feat because Church

attendance can evolve into an addiction. Once you get
hooked, you need to be “detoxed.” As substance abusers go
into a 28-day detox to “get clean,” church addicts need to
stay out of church for at least 28-30 days. As creatures of
habit, I have found that any addiction can be physically
broken in that time period. Even so, once the 28 day fast is
completed, the addiction in the soul is yet another story.
The mind, the heart and the emotions must be renewed and
for that, a drug addict will go into either a 90 day out patient
facility or a 6 months residential program.

So too with the church addict. From 90 days to 6

months, perhaps a year, the church addict’s mind must be
re-trained. False doctrines and practices that the
churchgoer has believed in for decades must be challenged
so that the soul can be renewed. As God Himself has
compared false worship to prostitution or whoredom , I am
not out of line in making a similar comparison. A church
addiction can be compared to “good sex” with someone you
know does not really love you. Simply put, you get hooked
to the thrill and the feeling. Those of us who have never
“been there and done that” wonder what the thrill is for a
masochist. Masochism from a psychiatric perspective is
defined as a condition in which sexual gratification depends
on suffering, physical pain and humiliation gained from
despair, deprivation, and degradation. The perpetrator can

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be others or it can be self inflicted. Unfortunately,
masochists are known to find pleasure in self denial and
emotional pain.

I can relate on a spiritual level because sexual

masochism is like self imposed martyrdom. For example, it
is not a part of my normal personality to tolerate a lack of
regard or disrespect from anyone, yet I passively

allowed myself to be frequently humiliated over a 25

year span by ignorant church bishops, elders and members
who would have been of no consequence to me in the world.
It is actually in my carnal nature to chew up the meat and
spit out the bones of folk like this. But in the church, I
allowed these abusers to ascend themselves over me with
their spiritual feet in my back, tacitly enduring their verbal
abuse and complete disregard of my personhood, over and
over again.

Why? Because I ignorantly assumed that I was

“suffering for Christ.” Notwithstanding, like a spiritual
masochists, a sensual, carnal thrill was obtainable through
believing that I was more righteous than they because I was
faithfully doing God’s will. What a shock to find out after
more than two decades, that “God never sent me there for
ANY reason.” He simply used what the enemy meant for evil
for my personal and spiritual good, so that I could be used by
Him to help others “help themselves!” Nevertheless, as one
who was “addicted,” I never wanted to leave that Whore on
my own so God made HER PUT ME OUT!!!!

Ignorant of my own emotional condition, I foolishly

submitted myself to the spiritual abuse that those I
pastored inflicted upon me. Whatever they needed, I was
there for them. I spent quality time with most of them---
shopping, vacations and other outings, cooking for them, you
name it. I was at the jails, hospitals, homes. I was a devoted
pastor, never controlling or demanding with anyone. I even
came from behind the pulpit and taught them as Jesus did.
Yet none of my efforts bore any fruit in them for Jesus
Christ.

The irony is that the devil used those I pastored in three

different churches to try to cause me to change my definition
of the word "pastor". Religious devils used church members
to try to beat me down with discouragement by causing

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them to treat me with a lack of appreciation, regard and
respect. In other words, I was not loved. For some time, I
thought it was because I am "not a man." I have seen men
revered who were known to be homosexuals, abusers of all
kinds. But my gender was not the cause. The only
distinction between me and them was that I was not raised
in church and I came to know Jesus Christ outside of church
walls.

As I reflect, I do not recall that I ever

really pastored those who were truly saved. Even when I
started my own church in 1996, I remained abused by
people who actually chose to follow me. Yet, as I remember
each one of them, I see no fruit for Jesus Christ. In spite of
the fact that I preached a powerful message, the word fell on
ground that "was not good."

Why? There is a simple answer, taken straight from the

Lord’s own lips. When folk are serving two masters, they
end up hating one and loving the other. Therefore their
hatred of me was not “personal.” It was scriptural and it was
prophetic. The sheep I served were serving two masters.
Since I belong to Christ, I was despised. Therefore, it is
understandable to me now, that it was not God who called
me to ministry while I was in the Denomination. I could be
wrong but I don’t believe that God would call anyone of His
to serve Him within such a filthy, corrupt system.

Once I embraced this truth, I realized that my

situation can be compared to the first predicament of His
servant Moses. While he was in Egypt, Moses tried to help
his own people but he failed. It was not until he was forced
out of Egypt into the wilderness, that God prepared him for
ministry. In like manner today, I believe that to be used by
God effectively, one has to actually leave the organized
church.

Not a few hours after I accepted this revelation, my

"first' sheep telephoned me. George is a man who was a
member of the first church that I pastored in 1989. To make
a long story short, it was revealed in the spirit that George
was sent to me to serve as "a constant thorn in my side." I
was set free from George about 5 years ago when I asked
him to leave my church. Although a faithful tither and
church attender, he was literally "tearing down the church"

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with his relapses into drugs and sexual sin. In fact, no loose
woman or drug addict was safe in my church because of
him. I couldn't completely avoid all contact with George
because one of his relatives is also a member of my family
through marriage.

So with this phone call, since I now have “an ear to

hear,” I actually heard a religious devil speak
through George to me. George purred: "you were such a
dedicated pastor, preaching to people who never appreciated
you and who did you so wrong. Just know that I appreciate
you and I have much fruit in my life for Christ because of your
ministry."

I could have spit and uttered "Get thee behind me, Satan."
Instead, I softly replied, "thanks for the kind words, but I
see no real fruit borne in anyone because of my ministry to
them.”

It was all a lie. The only reason George is NOT on

drugs right now is because he barely survived two recent
strokes, his diabetes is off the chain, but most of all, his
drinkin and druggin partner died two years ago---his
brother, Bobby. Today George is really afraid to use
drugs because he is not yet ready to die!!! Sexual sin has
stopped because his libido is gone, even though his pride
will not allow him to admit it. George still lives in a motel
for the homeless, a hovel that is indescribable---an active
member of a holiness, Pentecostal church. We had not
engaged in a spiritual conversation in well over a year.

Yet, some how, George chose to call me with this

compliment on the very day that I embraced the fact that
"God didn't call me to pastor in the organized church." What
do I make of this? Well, THE DEVIL DOESN'T STOP TALKING
TO US AS LONG AS HE CAN FIND A CHANNEL TO BRING FORTH
HIS MESSAGE.

Yet, don't get me wrong. I suspect that I am certainly

chosen by God as a handmaiden unto the Lord Jesus
Christ. Nevertheless, besides training, writing and
counseling, I just don't yet know exactly what I am called to
do yet. Moses waited 40 years. I've only waited 33 years. I
anticipate that I'll be knowing "soon enough!" When I do,
I'll be ready!!!!

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I divide my day by my mission: deliverance counseling, writing, training and mentoring.
Soon all of my counseling hours will be filled. Therefore, I need to train more believers to
DO WHAT I DO SO THAT I CAN MAKE REFERRALS TO THEM. I am also a planner. Training
is going to take at least a year for each trainee. So it is time to sign up now because o the
time is at hand for training. Let me know if you are interested.

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 Send an email to contact@pamsheppard.com

Sheppard's Counseling and Publishing Center, PO Box 356, East Greenbush NY 12061

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