Sign Up For Newsletters Battleground Tracker Coronavirus Updates "The Power Of August" "Censorship

LIVE

The 8 Stupidest Management Fads of All Time

BY GEOFFREY JAMES
U P D AT E D O N : A U G U S T 2 5 , 2 0 1 1 / 8 : 1 6 P M / M O N E Y W AT C H

Into the life of every o ce worker, some rain must

fall... and often that rain takes the form of the latest jackass fad that your
management latched onto. In most cases, a new management fad means endless
meetings, new buzzwords for the o ce toadies, and extra work that ends up
either driving you crazy or your company out of business.

This post contains the eight most heinous, stupid, painful and useless
management fads that I've ever encountered. It also provides invaluable advice
for how to survive the fad until it nally goes away. (Which it will... eventually.) Of
course, a fad usually goes away because management latched onto a new one,
but hey, nobody said work life would be easy.

CLICK for the rst stupid management fad »

Ilustrations by A at Sukmaraga
LIKE THIS? WHY NOT
LIKE THIS? WHY NOT:

Click to follow Sales Machine via RSS

Click to follow Sales Machine with Email Alerts

Click to follow Sales Machine on Twitter

Stupid Fad #1: Six Sigma

Created by: Motorola (based on Total Quality

Management)
The theory: The idea is to improve the quality of your processes by
identifying and removing the causes of defects. You assign various people
di erent colored "belts" (like a karate class) based upon their expertise in the
Six Sigma methodolo y. You also get a series of de ned steps and
quanti able nancial targets.
The reality: It creates a hierarchy of "belted" experts who run around the
company pretending that they know how to do other people's work better
than the people who do the work. Endless meetings ensue, with little or no
e ect. The consulting rm who's implementing the Six Sigma walks away
with a fat paycheck.
The result: Wasted time and wasted e ort. According to one quality control
expert quoted in Fortune magazine, "of 58 large companies that have
announced Six Sigma programs, 91 percent have trailed the S&P 500 since."
On the other hand, it's spawned an entire industry of "consultants" who
make a living sucking productivity out of your rm.
 My opinion of the fad: Oh, please. Potbellied managers running around with
little colored belts like they're part of some Bruce Lee movie on Bizarro
world. That's exactly what's going to help a company get out of the
doldrums. You couldn't make up this stu , it's so incredibly stupid.

Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 55%

Your strate y if you do: If your company implements Six Sigma, you'll be
paying a Six Sigma "tax" for about two years. Push out all activities by about
20 percent to account for the time wasted in pointless meetings. After two
years, the managers who implemented it will either be red or move on, in
which case the Six Sigma process will fall by the wayside.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #2: Business Process Reengineering

Created by: Michael Hammer

The theory: Analyze the work ows and processes within your organization
and rework them to achieve a de ned business outcome. Set up cross-
functional teams in order to re-engineer separate functional tasks into
complete cross-functional processes. Integrate a wide number of business
functions through enterprise resource planning, supply chain management,
yada-yada-yada, etc., etc.
The reality: Forget about redesigning processes. Reengineering is all about
layo s. Top management uses the idea to justify ring people in order to
make it seem like they're actually doing something logical, rather than just
 y y g g g , j
temporarily boosting the stock price so that their short term stock options
pay o big.
The result: A string of layo s, followed by the total collapse of your
company. Probably sooner rather than later.
My opinion of the fad: The whole idea is terminally idiotic. Massively
changing a corporation while it's operating is exactly like trying to redesign
and retool an automobile while you're driving down the highway. In any

case, reengineering assumes that corporations fail because of lousy

processes, when it's almost ALWAYS the result of lousy management.
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 65%
Your strate y if you do: If your company announces that it's reengineering,
update your resume. Start networking like crazy and line up your new
position in another company as soon as possible. Even if you're well
positioned to survive the layo s, you won't want to work there after the
reengineering has been going on for a while. Trust me on this.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #3: Matrix Management

Created by: Agent Smith

The theory: People with similar skills are pooled for work assignments. For
example, all engineers may be in one engineering department and report to
an engineering manager, but these same engineers may be assigned to
di erent projects and report to a project manager while working on that
project. Therefore, each engineer may have to work under several managers
to get their job done.
 to get their job done.
The reality: An endless, debilitating turf war. Each manager ghts to be
considered the "real" manager of the personnel. They do this by forcing
everybody to attend required "sta meetings" and by nding extra hoops to
jump through and extra rocks to fetch, in order to prove that that they're the
ones who are really in charge.
The result: All productive work grinds to an immediate halt. Management
becomes completely consumed in arguments over who will do what and
when. Because the system creates more managers, the organization quickly
becomes top heavy. Eventually, top management gures out that this is a
terminally bonehead idea and puts one person in charge.
My opinion of the fad: I actually worked in an organization that had matrix
management. Everyone reported to three managers, and each manager
insisted upon having a mandatory 3 hour meeting every week (no agenda).
Their manager also required everyone to attend a one hour mandatory
meeting every week -- to "facilitate communication." That was 10 hours --
25% of the work week -- wasted in nonsense.
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 10%
Your Strate y: Make sure you can access the Internet inside your company's
conference room. During the unending turf hassles, you can answer emails,
surf the web, play games, etc. Otherwise, you have to wait this one out. It
won't last for more than a year.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #4: Management by Consensus

 Created by: Plato
The theory: Important decisions should be made with the agreement of
everybody in the group. Proposals are collaboratively developed, and full
agreement is a primary objective. Consensus management is usually seen as
an alternative to "top-down" decision making common inside hierarchical
organizations.
The reality: Since everybody has a say in the decision, anybody can
e ectively veto any decision. As a result, only decisions that are completely
innocuous and support the status quo are ever made. Di cult decisions --
ones that might ru e feathers -- get quietly shunted aside.
The result: Forget the wisdom of crowds. Crowds are so stupid they can't
even gure out what the crowd is thinking. Speci cally, consensus decision-
making often results in what's called "the Abilene paradox," where a group
will unanimously agree on a course of action that no individual member of
the group desires because no one is willing to go against the perceived will of
the group.
My opinion of the fad: Management by consensus like swimming in a pool of
quicksand. Because important decisions never get made, the entire
organizations ounders and sinks. BTW, consensus management sometimes
happens accidentally when groups have managers who are afraid to make
decisions because somebody who works for them might be o ended.
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 35%
Your strate y if you do: Volunteer to keep minutes of the meeting. Make the
decisions yourself and then pawn them o as consensus. Nobody will notice
unless you get too ambitious, like claiming that the consensus was that
everyone should wear their underwear inside out.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #5: Core Competency

 Created by: M. E. Porter
The theory: Focus on the one thing that your rm does better than anyone
else. That will make your strate y di cult for competitors to imitate and
keep your organization from wasting time doing things that they're not very
good at.
The reality: Most organizations, like the managers that run them, are about
as self aware as a turnip. As a result, they seldom know what they're really
good at. In many cases, organizations think they're good at something but
are actually successful for some completely di erent reason.
The result: Core competence generally ends up as a kind of myth that keeps
a company locked into doing what it was successful at doing in the past. As a
result, companies that focus on their core competence soon nd that they
have competitors running rings around them.
My opinion of the fad: Like all management fads, this sounds like a great
idea, but it must be implemented by corporate managers, which means that
even if it were the most brilliant idea in the world, they would still bollix
things up beyond all recognition.
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 85%
Your strate y if you do: Get involved in the committee that's suppose to
determine the core competence. Make sure that whatever you do is the
company's core competence. If you fail, transfer to the group that did win
the discussion.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #6: Management By Objectives

 Created by: Peter Drucker
The theory: De ne objectives within an organization so that management
and employees agree to the objectives and understand what they are in the
organization. Then compare the employee's actual performance with the
standards set and agreed upon.
The reality: Everyone spends hours making plans for the future. When the
future actually happens, it ends up looking nothing like it was originally
expected. As a result, everyone ends up either doing something that might
have worked a year ago or doing something that wasn't in the original plan
and then spends extra e ort making it look as if they were performing to the
plan.
The result: Lots and lots of out-of-date planning documents and precious
little to show for it. Success rate in the typical company is supposedly
around 6% percent.
My opinion of the fad: There's nothing wrong with having goals and making
sure you know what you're supposed to be doing, but MBO becomes a fad
when it's just part of the same old review process. Worst case, it turns into a
paperwork nightmare that strips exibility from an organization.

Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 90%

Your strate y if you do: Try to be as vague as possible about your objectives
and have multiple ways to get measured, so that no matter what happens
you still look like you've ful lled the objective. Above all, don't feel guilty
about gaming the system, because your boss is probably gaming it up the
chain anyway.
CLICK for the next dumb management fad »

Fad #7: The Search for Excellence

Created by: Tom Peters

The theory: Solve business problems with as little business process overhead
as possible, and empower decision-makers at multiple levels of a company.
The reality: At the very least, the data behind the concept is questionable.
Peters was once quoted admitting that he had falsi ed the underlying data
for his book In Search of Excellence. He later retracted that statement.
The result: Awful. Simply awful. The majority of the companies Peters held
out as exemplars ran into all sorts of problems.
My opinion of the fad: Ended up as yet another excuse for companies to try
to imitate the success of other rms through the use of their "best practices."
At best, this ends up with a me-too strate y. At middling, it ends up with a
"me-too" strate y that doesn't make sense for your industry and company. At
worst, you end up successfully implementing a strate y that put another
company out of business.
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: 20%
Your strate y if you do: Hard to say. If your management is still gnawing on
this tired old bone, they're seriously, seriously out of date. You might try
pointing out that Peters has written a number of other books since then, all

of which are equally valid (or invalid). Maybe your manager will hole up and
d h ll hil l kd
 read them all while you get some real work done.

CLICK for the next stupid management fad »

Stupid Fad #8: Management by God

Created by: Girolamo Savonarola

The theory: The success of a company is in the hands of God, therefore
managers should address daily prayers to God, and ask God questions about
the decisions that they have to make. All decisions should be in alignment
with God's laws.
The reality: Managers who think that God is talking to them will almost
always discover that God is telling them to do things that are in their own
best interests. At the same time, because they're pawning o the urgings of
their Id on God, they lack the perspective and self-awareness that they're
acting sel shly and are therefore become a royal pain in the tuchus.
The result: Employees are forced into mandatory prayer meetings, the
primary result of which is to convince them that their manager is a horse's
rear end of stupendous proportions.
My opinion of the fad: The horror... The horror...
Likelihood you'll run into it at least once: Blue State: 10% Red State: 90%
Your strate y if you do: There are two approaches. The rst is to ignore it all
and spend your prayer meeting time doing other mental exercises, like
daydreaming about sports. A good backup plan is to go around the

f ( ll ) di i h i ld b lik h
 conference room (mentally) and imagine what it would be like to have sex
with each member of the team. The second approach is to become a
complete over-the-top zealot. Claim that God and a host of angels descended
to earth and demanded that you get a 57 percent raise. Insist that your boss
will be damned for all eternity if he doesn't come through with the extra
cash.

READERS : Enjoy this post? Then you'll probably enjoy my new

book How to Say It: Business to Business Selling available at Amazon, Barnes &
Noble, or Indiebound.
To receive updates of future posts, Follow ME on Twitter.
Got a sales question? Email me through my website: Geo reyJames.com

First published on October 12, 2010 / 8:30 AM

© 2010 CBS Interactive Inc.. All Rights Reserved.

The Dating Site for Highly-Educated Singles in Gaithersburg

EliteSingles | Sponsored

50% Off in perhaps the greatest entry point we've ever seen for investors
The Motley Fool | Sponsored

Trump $300 in jobless aid: Only 5 states so far are paying benefits
President Trump signed the order almost three weeks ago to provide "immediate" relief to jobles…
CBS News
CBSN: 24/7 Live Stream

Watch CBSN Live

Los Angeles police fatally shoot man on bicycle, claiming man attacked
o cer and had a gun

Coronavirus exposes problems with retirement

President Trump travels to North Carolina

Russian dissident poisoned with nerve agent

 What happens if voters try to 'test the system'

Follow Us
Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
RSS
Instagram
Newsletters

Latest From "60 Minutes"

Speaking with Holocaust survivors who've died

AUG 30
A stando over Red Flag gun laws in Colorado

AUG 30

Adam Sandler: The 60 Minutes Interview

AUG 23
Will driverless trucks soon share our roads?

AUG 23

Right Rail - Video Promo - Listing

In conversation: Stephen Curry

AUG 30 07:23

The return of the drive-in

AUG 30 05:05

The police use of less-lethal force

AUG 30 07:55

Sunday Pro le: Olivia Newton-John

AUG 30 08:12

Taste of Summer: Corn

AUG 30 05:02
Latest From CBS News

Hazardous air quality threatens farmworkers after major wild res

2 1 M AG O

Trail markers: DHS bulletin - Russia "amplifying criticisms" of mail voting

1 H AG O

This week on "Sunday Morning" (September 6)

3 H AG O

DHS bulletin says Russia is "amplifying criticism" of mail voting

1 H AG O
Star Wars actor John Boyega says Disney sidelines actors of color

3 H AG O

Mike Bloomberg gives $100 million to Black medical students

4 H AG O
Right Rail - Gallery Promo

Notable deaths in 2020

AUG 29 105 PHOTOS

New on Net ix, Amazon, Disney+, Hulu and More

AUG 24 50 PHOTOS

Thousands converge for another March on Washington

AUG 29 25 PHOTOS

California res 2020: Homes burn, thousands evacuated

AUG 28 54 PHOTOS
Disturbing photos of the modern-day Ku Klux Klan

AUG 4, 2016 29 PHOTOS

CBS News On Samsung TV

The Uplift — Stories That Inspire

Fire ghter rescues woman trapped in burning high-rise

1 4 H AG O

Harry and Meghan plant owers to remember Princess Diana

SEP 1
7-year-old's moving tribute for Chadwick Boseman

AUG 31

3-year-old bakes over 1,000 cookies for essential workers

AUG 28
Couple donates wedding food to shelter

AUG 27

Flying dogs to their forever homes

AUG 23
 Copyright © 2020 CBS Interactive Inc. All rights reserved.
Quotes delayed at least 15 minutes.
Market data provided by ICE Data Services. ICE Limitations. Powered and implemented by FactSet. News provided by
The Associated Press. Legal Statement.

Privacy Policy
CA Privacy/Info We Collect
CA Do Not Sell My Info
Ad Choice
Terms of Use
Mobile User Agreement
About
Advertise
Closed Captioning
CBS News Store
Site Map
Contact Us
Help