*Some of the following writing is the result of writing prompts from our meetings.

The Queen of Spades

Part I

By Erica Kelly

I shifted around in my sheets for the flashlight. It would be dawn in less than an hour, but outside was like
midnight in a cave. I silently slipped out of bed and went outside. Everything was completely quiet, even old
Tyger watching me from a maple tree branch. His eyes glowed softly in the moonlight. I let those eyes guide
me to the rope ladder on the next branch. Inside my tree house was my backpack, exactly where I'd left it only
a few hours before. I took out a set of clothes and changed.
For the thousandth time that night it seemed, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. If leaving Mom and
Stephen alone could straighten out all the trouble I'd caused. Or would it just make more? I pushed the thought
aside and took out the note I'd written.

Dear Mom,

I will be gone long before you read this, so don't try to find me. I won't come back. What has been put in
motion would have to happen someday, if not now. Don't worry about me. I have friends where I'm going, and
they'll take care of me. I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you.

Brian

After I'd reread it, I put it on the kitchen table, where it could be seen right away. I took one last look at my
house before I went out the door. Who knew how long it would be before I saw it again. The sun was just
beginning to rise over the horizon. When I saw it I thought back to something my history teacher once told me.
That the ancient Egyptians used to think that when the sun rose, it wasn't just a new day, but a new world
they'd woken up into. Maybe it could be like that today. With that, I shouldered my pack and began my walk to
the end of the world.
Parent/Child Embarrassment

By Rich Edwards

It still amazes me the things parents do that embarrass their children. When I was a child I was certain the only
reason my Dad went to work every day was to earn enough money to take his children places to humiliate
them. I also knew that my Mom stayed at home so she could conspire with other Moms on the best ways to
embarrass a child to death. My parents had insurance policies taken out on us kids which, I am sure, paid
double indemnity if the child were to die of shame. I have jotted down some memories similar to those I
would be able to recall except for the fact that my mind, in self-defense, has pretty much repressed them. In
reality I am sure that what really happened was much worse.

(At the gas station, two boys in the background doing the ‘potty dance’)

Parent: “Can I get your bathroom key. My boys drank two liters of root beer trying to beat each other
in a burping contest. They are about ready to pop. Ha, I made a funny. Get it pop—root beer, that‟s
funny.”

(At Disneyland)

Parent: “Snow White, Snow White! HEY SNOW WHITE!! Can I get a photo of you with my boy.
He‟s just getting over puberty and it might help his self-esteem to get photo of himself standing next
to a pretty girl. Hey, where did that boy go?”

To know the level of embarrassment a child has suffered, one only need count the syllables in parent‟s
moniker. For example, when a child is not embarrassed, the words Mom (and in some cases Dad) have only
one syllable. However, in other situations when a perceived embarrassment has been received, the child will
pronounce the parents‟ name with two or more syllables; the more syllables, the greater the embarrassment.
This is often followed by a rolling of the eyes and a general rocking back and forth of the upper body as in
anticipation of a chance for a speedy exit. For example “Da-aa-aad! Quit talking to Disney characters
(whoosh, zoom)”.

Now that I have become a parent, I can relate to how my parents operated all those years ago. First of all, as
any teenager will tell you, parents are completely clueless. They just do not realize that what might seem
completely reasonable to any other human being can be cause for potentially fatal mortification to the average
teenager. These things include:

 Existing
 Or (worse) talking to them in front of other people
 Or (much worse) talking to other parents
 Or (much, much, way worse) talking directly to the teenagers friends (AAAAGH!!).

The other reason why parents go out of their way to embarrass their children is to earn a little pay back from
when the child was small and did things which now appear cute, but at the time caused great shame and
humiliation to the parent. This was a time when the reasonably new parent still cared slightly what the rest of
the world thought of them and/or had not learned to say convincingly “That‟s not my kid.” For some reason,
children, especially small children have a great proclivity to embarrass their parents. For greatest effect
children wait to do truly embarrassing things until they are at a formal event, hopefully in the company of
some sort of clergy or at the least a seldom-seen straight-laced maiden Aunt. If you doubt this is true, ask a
parent, any parent, preferably one old enough have recovered at least some of their repressed memories, or
better yet, ask one of your Aunts or Uncles to relate an embarrassing story about one of your parents. I once
learned a LOT doing this exercise once including that, according to my Mom, Aunt Trish makes up a lot of
lies.

Below are some true life examples wherein a child caused great humiliation to a parent to the point where the
parent‟s eyes opened to previously unimagined size followed by a dropping of the shoulders and a general
desire on the part of the parent to turn into a garden slug and slink slowly out of the room. Before sharing
these embarrassing stories which, I swear, are totally true, you must know that I was not the child involved in
any of the actual events depicted below. I can say this honestly because most of the embarrassing stories
involving me cannot be reprinted in a family newsletter.

(At a restaurant with some friends the parents had not seen for years)

Child climbing out from table: “There sure is a lot of gum under the table.”

Parent: “Well don‟t eat any of it.”

Child (with an indignant air of disgust): “I won‟t”

Upon leaving the restaurant the parent notices the child smacking loudly on what appears to be gum.

Parent: “Did you eat gum from under the table”

Child: (with an indignant air of moral superiority) “No, from under the chair.”

(Just before reception at the child’s house following a funeral)

Maiden Aunt in formal black dress: “Denise, I think one of your dogs pooped behind the couch. I
suggest you clean it up before the other guests arrive.”

Child: “Aunt Beulah, in our house the rule is „Whoever finds it has to clean it up‟ and you found it
first.”

Mother of the child after showing Aunt Beulah who is now holding large dog bomb wrapped in toilet
paper, to the outside garbage can: “Aunt Beulah, you did not have to clean up after the dog.
Really, that rule only applies to people who live here.”

After hearing the examples above, you can probably understand why a parent might not pull their punches
when they realize the potential embarrassment that talking to their child in front of other people might cause.

Now, my daughter goes to Skyline School which I know is a great school having witnessed the great education
my daughter has received from first grade through now her eighth grade. One of the things I like best about
Skyline is that the parents of the children there care greatly about the academic success of their children and
encourage learning. They take it so seriously that most of the kids don‟t find out how dorky it is to learn new
historic or science facts until they reach high school and sometimes not even then. A case in point; some time
ago my Father was driving a mini-van load of people back to my house after a school carnival. One of the
great things about Grandparents is they often have mini-vans and don‟t mind driving especially when there are
grandchildren involved. Also in the mini-van was my Mother, me, my daughter and a few of my daughter‟s
friends. I took the opportunity to entertain the children while teaching them a few science facts.

(In a mini-van after a school carnival)

Me to one of my daughter‟s friends: “Do you smell through your nose?”

Friend: “Yes”

Me: “You know about goats, right? Do goats smell through their noses?”

Friend: “Yes”

Me: “So if you smell through your nose, and a goat smells through its nose, you must smell like a
goat. Isn‟t that right?”

Friend: “Well, I guess so”

Me: “Most animals smell through their noses except snakes; they smell with their tongues.”

Friend, shifting nervously: “Oh.”

Me: “And butterflies smell through their feet”

Other friend in the car: “That‟s only if they are flying, otherwise they are tasting.”

These are smart kids. And this brings me to my original point which is, the things parents do that embarrass
their children. My Mother who had been quietly sitting in the passenger seat took the opportunity to say “My
feet smell so I must be a butterfly” all the while making little air quotes with her hands to simulate butterfly
wings. I was so mortified the only thing I could say was “Mo-o-o-om!!”
The Woman of my Dreams
Part I

By Terry Denton

This was it. This was the day I was going to ask out the woman of my dreams. I parked my Kenworth truck
next door to the coffee house. I sat behind the wheel sweating. I looked at myself in the mirror. “You can do it”
I said, building my confidence. After a minute I climbed down to the asphalt near the only truck stop in Delta
Junction.
My mind set with raw determination I took one step and promptly slipped and fell landing on my butt. “Dang,
that was not a good sign” I said to myself. I sat there for a second or two then got up. I dusted myself off and
leaned against the front of my truck.
I slowly rebuilt my courage and went through the motions in my mind; the pushing back of her hair, the long
smiles when she took my order, and lately, the brief touching of my hand when she would give me my coffee.
My confidence invigorated, I walked, limping slightly, towards the coffee house more determined than ever.
I walked in and surveyed the shop. The coffee bar was right beside the front door. Theresa looked over at me
and smiled, showing her sparkling white teeth. She brushed back her long blond hair from her face. “Hi,” she
whispered to me. I nodded in return not trusting my voice. I just knew she wanted me to ask her out.
I walked to the end of line. Theresa kept making eye contact with me past the other customers, our eyes
holding long conversations. Finally after the last guy got his drink, it was my turn.
“Hi Tom,” Theresa said, “The usual?” she asked.
“Hi Theresa,” I said meeting her smile. “Yes please.”
“How do you like the winter so far this year?” I asked her. Dang I didn‟t want to ask that question.
“Oh it‟s definitely a weird one. So much for global warming.” she said. “I hear it‟s going to warm up more.
Not good for the roads.”
“Yes, I know. Not good for the roads.”
„Just ask her you stupid chicken-hearted fool!‟ I thought.
Theresa turned to me, a big broad smile highlighting her beauty. “Here you go-”
I reached for my coffee and our fingers intertwined around it.
This was it. I was going to do it. But my mind froze and I just stood there. My mouth not working.
She let go of the cup and a sadness seemed to cross her face. “See you tomorrow.”
“Yes.” I said and I stepped toward the door.
The next customer was making his order.
I stopped and turned, “Theresa, will you go out with me on Saturday night?”
I nearly choked on my words.
She looked at me with a smile, “Yes,”
“Sounds fantastic,” I said.
I was grinning from ear to ear.
The Woman of my Dreams
Part II

By Terry Denton

Theresa entered Sabalas Italian Restaurant, our agreed upon first date place.
She was the Barista at my favorite coffee house. It had taken me months to work up the nerve to ask her out. I
had finally done it in a moment of, “I‟m going to do this so at least I‟ll know.” She said, “Yes”
Theresa is perfect. She is tall with long blond hair and a body with curves in all the right places.
I got up and pulled out her chair as the Maitre d led her to our table.
“Hi,” I said as she approached.
“Hello,” She said.
“Thanks,” she said as I pushed her chair in.
Sabalas Restaurant overlooks the Tanana River Valley with a spectacular view of the Denali Mountain Range.
It has a huge indoor aquarium built into the floor. There are various types of sea life living in it. It‟s a very
romantic restaurant. The waiter brought us warm washcloths and took our orders.
After our initial shyness wore off, Theresa and I fell into conversation both light-hearted and serious. We
talked and laughed all through our meal and on into the night. I do not believe, in all of human dating, a date
has ever gone so well. Finally at 2 am the Maitre d asked us to leave. I paid the bill. Theresa‟s arm wrapped
firmly around mine as if she would never let go.
We walked into the parking lot. “I‟m over there,” Theresa said, pointing to a long black limo with a driver
holding the back door awaiting her.
I looked at the limo then back at her. “Wait, that‟s yours?” I asked.
“Yes,” she said with a smile.
My mouth fell in disbelief.
The King’s Tomb

By Lilia Baker

Part I: Julia Bloom, Archeologist

Julia heard the rope snap and the others cry out. She felt an odd sense of sliding…falling. She searched for a
crevice to grab. A second later she was dangling by one hand. She couldn‟t hold on for more than a minute,
and already the ledge began to crumble. “Blast this expedition! How did I get into this mess?”

“Here is the manuscript dated 1617 AD, with references to earlier documents.” Julia handed the carefully
preserved document to Professor Dirgle who took it gently, reading fast. “A great treasure, Bloom!” The
professor‟s green eyes shone with excitement while his bald head began to shine with fresh sweat. “When I
commissioned you to organize my personal archives, I never dreamed that you would find such an important
document.”

“True, a document of such age is valuable,” Julia responded, “but the story is a mere fairy tale, not very
important.”

“Then why did the author tell it? From the mass of information my ancestors passed down, I have concluded
that a king long ago was buried somewhere in these three mountains,” he poked at an old map, “and called a
curse down on whoever disturbed his grave.“

“Wouldn‟t it be dangerous to search for this tomb?” Julia offered.

“Although I do believe in old manuscripts, I don‟t believe in devils and curses. Now…” he rattled on, but
Julia wasn‟t listening. Why search for a manuscript for years, and then totally disregard half of what it tells
you? “… so it‟s all settled.” Julia shook herself out of her musings. “What‟s settled?”

“You are to assemble a crew and supplies and search for this tomb. If it weren‟t for this lung condition, I‟d
go myself.” As soon as Julia had recovered from the surprise, she stammered her thanks, and began running
through names in her head, deciding who to employ for this expedition. “Thank you, Bloom. When you get
back you‟ll be a real archeologist!”

With that ringing in her ears, Julia skipped down the hall, all former fears forgotten in the joy of her first
assignment.

Three weeks later she had assembled her rather unusual crew. First of which was Blake Auburn, an
experienced archeologist as well as a giant in stature, heart, and gut. Then there was Nick Warner, who was
one of the best treasure hunters and rock climbers in three continents. Next was Anna Lorn, a small but
spunky geological expert. Finally there was Pete Little, who would take care of equipment, supplies, and
demolitions. They wished farewell to Professor Dirgle and climbed into the helicopter. Julia smiled. “Julia
Bloom, Archeologist,” echoing endlessly in her mind.