Michael Round witnesses gender-bias in action
MONDAY 8TH Message re clarinet
rehearsal later in week. Says "Copland
Sonata'. Never heard of it. Assume
means Concerto instead. Tricky if so:
unearth and start practising. Programme
also includes Martinû Sonatina: well
known, so no problem.
TUESDAY 9TH Message from clarinettist:
'NB Sotiata not Concerto. Is transcription
of Violin Sonata.' Stop practising
Concerto. Have played Violin Sonata:
recall no problems except final span of
tenth in RH. which composer insists
must not be broken. Luckily can reach it.
WEDNESDAY lOTH Meet clarinettist for
first rehearsal. Alarm: transcription
down a third from violin original. Final
RH span, originally C-B, now becomes
E fiat-G, much harder. Consider playing
lower note with nose. Clarinettist
apparently breathes through ears, for
manages to play (near-continuous) solo ; traditionally reproduced wholesale in
part without missing out any notes. Has
not played {nor heard) Martinu with I payability. Reach venue: piano in
d^ aúe/(c( a^ûa dôft thai^e tm taf(e
piano. Run through together. 'Oh,' be says
at end, 'you don't have the tune either'
THURSDAY llTH Meet student vocalist
for lunchtime performance. Says used to
be part-time model. Can well believe it.
Most songs pop: sheet music easy but
wrong style. Vocalist knows what wants
but cannot explain and dislikes all
suggestions. Tempers fray. Fellow-student
rock-band assemble. Sound execrable,
but vocalist still thanks them during
performance. Am not so tbanked.
Request fee afterwards: reasonable
amount, willingly paid by every other
student bave ever worked with. Handed
over with loud comment: i s exorbitant'.
Would have had as much fun
accompanying Bratz Doll at home.
Depart: meet staff-member on bus.
Describe morning's work, solicit
considered opinion. 'Oh, her,' he says,
'Phwoar!' Recall gender-bias article in
recent music magazine.
Cross town for afternoon rehearsal
with conservatoire cellist. Reach venue,
meet cellist, rehearse: fabulous technique,
great musicality, knows piano part
intimately and gives unmistakable leads
at every change of tempo. Bliss. Enthuse
to colleague in coffee bar afterwards.
'Oh, her,' he says, 'the fat one." Re-read
gender-bias article on train home.
FRIDAY 12TH Rain, To rehearsal with
chorus (famously high-powered) and
conductor (notoriously ditto) as
replacement for regular pianist (RP) in
Bach cantatas (these unspecified). Fear
lots of energetic orchestral counterpoint,
piano part with no thought for
poorest-lit corner of room, doubling as
repository for damp coats, etc. Dripping
umbrellas form pool beneath piano
stool. Glad piano not electronic: always
nervous when water meets power cables.
Am handed vocal score and examine
music: lots of energetic orchestral
counterpoint, reproduced wholesale in
piano part. Recall former colleague's
claim always to play same baroque
accompaniment regardless of whichever
piece soloist doing. Consider similar
bluft^ playing something already known
(e.g. Bach Magnificat) but decide against:
conductor and singers at this level would
probably notice. Singers approach
disdainfully one by one to deposit coats.
Typical conversation (if any): me, 'Hello,'
singer, 'Where RP.''
me, 'Away, sorry,' singer. 'Hmph, pity.'
Conductor arrives, ignores
outstretched hand. Sole greeting:
'Where RP?' Mounts podium, barks
instructions tor particular chords to
launch vocal warm-up: elaborate routine,
unguessable by non-RP so occasional
hiatus, provoking scowls. Scan chorus in
vain for sympathetic eye. Warm-up ends:
vaguely imperious gesture from
conductor, assume (correctly) is cue to
start Bach. Choir v good, though
conductor rarely satisfied and demands
trequent restarts en route. Prettiest
soprano arrives grossly late, making
grand entrance: assume (again correctly}
must be Conductor's Moll (CM). Recall
long-ago rehearsal with different chorus
(equally good}, accompanyingjanacek
Glagolitic Mass [v tricky) at short notice:
much acclaim but was never asked back
again because of allegedly over-friendly
overtures to CM (status unsuspected) in
pub afterwards.
Bach rehearsal ends, singers reclaim
damp coats, etc. Prepare to leave when
final singer (pretty, hitherto unnoticed)
approaches. "Hello darling,' she breathes,
'You're a quiet one.' Examine carefully: is
not CM. About to reply: singer notices
pool of water beneath piano stool.
Recoils, beats hasty retreat before can
explain. Sigh, leave, switch mobile on,
collect text message. 'Loved working
with u yesterday: hoped u cd help with
emergency tonight, but u'r out, so must
move on. Pity. X (cellist).' Pity indeed. •
July/August 2010 International Piano
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