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The Self

By
Pradeep Apte

A narrative of the Self to Itself
The Self
Copyright Pradeep Apte 2011
aptep@yahoo.com
Introduction

In the nineties I had read a small book in Marathi titled ‘Atmaram’
by Samartha Swami Ramdas. ‘Atmaram’ may be loosely translated
as ‘the God within’ or ‘the soul within self’. At that time many
things were not quite clear to me and so the book was quite
difficult to understand. It was only after I studied the teachings of
my Guru Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj that everything became so
clear. Over a decade later reading ‘Atmaram’ again was an
astonishing experience. The words of Swami Ramdas and my Guru
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj hit me like thunderbolts and this work
titled ‘The Self’ was created instantly. It was totally unplanned and
the script flowed spontaneously, the only thing planned along the
way was to keep the number of chapters and verses the same as in
the original. This work is not a translation of ‘Atmaram’ but has
been inspired by it. I thank my friend Michael Hansen for some
corrections in the script.

Pradeep Apte
Feb 9th 2011
(aptep@yahoo.com)
Dedicated to
Samartha Swami Ramdas
and
my Guru
Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
The Self
By
Pradeep Apte
(aptep@yahoo.com)

The First Narrative

1. How to perceive and offer obeisance to the unborn
Self?
2. How can the Self which has no name or form be
praised?
3. All the Holy Scriptures have originated from the
Self.
4. The Self is beyond knowing and not-knowing.
5. The Self can only be known by Itself.
6. The Self initiates words to know Itself.
7. Salutations to the Self which made It possible to
know Itself.
8. The mind merges in the Self and disappears.
9. The Self has flooded Itself with Its grace and bliss.
10. The Self recites God’s name to know Itself.
11. Merging of the Self in Itself is the end of all
experience.
12. Logic and discretion disappear in the Self.
13. Through arduous practices the Self struggles to
find Itself.
14. The all pervading Self can be compared only to
Itself.
15. The Self is the ultimate rest where even rest,
rests.
16. Salutations to the Self listening to Itself.
17. The Self gets absorbed in an audience of Itself.
18. Let the Self be attentive to Itself.
19. The Self removes Its own misconceptions.
20. The Self preaches to uproot false coverings.
21. The Self meditates on Itself.
22. The Self quenches Its own thirst.
23. To know Itself the Self discards the non-Self.
24. The Self listens to the inexpressible words of
Itself from beyond.
25. To know Itself the Self asks Itself ‘Who am I?’
26. The Self questions Itself about the so-called many
births.
27. Where can the Self go or come? It always is.
28. Can the Self ever deceive Itself?
29. Can the Self ever be separated from Itself?
30. All the Self has to do is to believe Itself.
31. The Self knows no illusion apart from Itself.
32. The Self is always accompanying Itself, so what
perishes?
33. What should the Self hold on to but Itself?
34. The highest bliss is the Self knowing Itself.
35. The Self Itself renounces all that is perishable.
36. The Self knows that It owns Itself.
37. The Self requests Itself to continue this narrative.
38. The inexpressible words of the Self satisfy Itself.
39. The Self listens attentively to the narrative of
Itself.

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The Second Narrative

1. In the Self-preaching narrative, victory is ordained.
2. The enormous universe merges in the joyous Self.
3. The Self surrenders to Itself.
4. The Self asks Itself about the perishable It has to
give up.
5. The Self tells Itself to be alert and careful.
6. Abandoning the irrelevant external the Self turns
towards Itself.
8. Again and again the Self turns towards Itself.
9. To be Itself the Self has to turn towards Itself.
10. Turning inwards, the impurities appearing on the
Self disappear.
11. The perishable that appears on the Self is an
illusion.
12. The feeling ‘I am’ that appears on the Self is the
root illusion.
13. The ‘I am’ breeds the three qualities and five
elements on the Self.
14. The Self is one but appears two.
15. The Self appears as the illusory trinity of knower-
known-knowing.
16. The Self knows Itself, beyond words, as
Existence-Consciousness-Bliss.
17. The Self is the ultimate formless form and
nameless name.
18. To impart form and name to the Self is the
illusion.
19. The root illusion ‘I am’ has created diversity on
the Self.
20. The ‘I am’ in movement has created the world on
the Self.
21. The ‘I am’ perpetuates the ‘I am’ on the Self.
22. Being is a power of the Self, when known as ‘I
am’ It’s illusory.
23. The Self questions the independence of the ‘I
am’.
24. The Self negates the ‘I am’ as It never came to
be.
25. To realize the non-happening the Self turns
towards Itself.
26. The Self tries to resolve the apparent ignorance.
27. The Self asks as to how anything can be and yet
not be.
28. The Self discards the ‘I am’ and all that followed
It as unreal.
29. On the disappearance of ‘I am’ the Self knows
Itself.
30. The Self has to understand Its power that shrouds
the truth.
31. The Self liberates Itself by understanding the
nature of the illusion.
32. Using the illusory ‘I am’ as a tool the Self comes
back to Itself.
33. The Self sees Its deceptive power ‘I am’ as the
creator of duality.
34. The Self wrote all the Holy Scriptures to destroy
the illusion.
35. A unique effect of Its illusory power turns the
Self towards Itself.
36. The Self frees Itself using Its own power that
appeared to trap It.
37. The ‘I am’ appearing on the Self is the root of all
knowledge.
38. The Self perceives the truth of Itself due to the ‘I
am’.
39. Helping the Self realize Itself the ‘I am’ quietly
disappears.
40. The Self tells Itself to be alert and stay away from
the illusion.
41. The Self sees the ‘I am’ and all that followed It as
perishable.
42. The Self realizes the folly of attachment to the
perishable.
43. Beyond association, is next in the narrative of the
Self to Itself.

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The Third Narrative

1. The Self asks Itself to give up all associations
including the ‘I am’.
2. Constantly thinking of Itself, the Self gradually
eliminates the trinity.
3. The Self is Itself when the ‘I am’ finally
disappears.
4. The Self abiding beyond experience is the only
true experience.
5. The Self sees the Holy Scriptures falling short of
words.
6. The Self is beyond description and touch of the ‘I
am’.
7. The Self is at the end of the end, pure and final.
8. The Self is not within or without, far or near, less
or more.
9. The Self abiding in Itself uproots the illusion
instantly.
10. The fully detached Self appears attached and
diverse.
11. Devoid of movement the Self appears to walk and
talk.
12. Like the sky the Self is the integral one.
13. Though unaffected, The Self appears as the fire,
as the water.
14. The Self can never take Itself away from Itself.
15. The Self eliminates forms to see Its unseen Self.
16. The Self has to tell Itself about Itself.
17. To know Itself the Self loses all identity and
experiences.
18. The Self sees the illusion ‘I am’ as the root of all
agony.
19. Cherishing the body and saying ‘I am Brahman’
embarrasses the Self.
20. Why should the Self accept the illusory ‘I am the
body’ idea?
21. The Self sees that It is the illusion that binds,
educates and liberates.
22. All sufferings of the Self are due to Its attachment
to form and name.
23. The Self plays all games with Itself.
24. The Self claims victory over Itself in all games.
25. On defeat, the Self quarrels with Itself in all
games.
26. Life is a game where all the players are the Self.
27. All conflicts end with the Self realizing Itself.
28. The Self sees Itself as Itself to break through the
spell of untruth.
29. The Self cuts off the illusion quietly and swiftly.
30. The Self faces Its illusory power, understands It
and destroys It.
31. The Self sees all thought and images as Itself.
32. The Self sees this multifaceted drama as Itself.
33. To perceive truth, as a balancing act, the Self
meditates on Itself.
34. Beyond associations, absorbing the many, the
Self remains.
35. The Self next narrates the gist of practices to end
the illusory duality.
36. Listen to the means by which the unperceived
Self knows Itself.

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The Fourth Narrative

1. The Self explains to Itself the means to be Itself.
2. The Self listens, reflects and directly experiences
the truth of Itself.
3. Abandoning scholastic pride the Self preaches
Itself.
4. By daily practice, the Self convinces Itself: ‘I am
not the body’.
5. The Self realizes the importance of daily listening,
reflection and meditation.
6. The Self helps Itself by following scriptural
injunctions.
7. Through devotion, knowledge and renunciation the
Self sees Itself.
8. The Self questions Itself about the necessity of
practice.
9. No practice is required if the Self realizes Itself
instantly forever.
10. The Self reminds Itself of giving up the
perishable.
11. The Self wonders at Its hesitation to give up the ‘I
am’.
12. Nothing remains after the Self surrenders to
Itself.
13. The Self realizes that saying ‘nothing remains’
again affirms the perishable.
14. The Self merges in Itself with nothing more to
say.
15. The Self remains when the practitioner, practiced
and practice merge and disappear.
16. Blessed is the Self that is one with Itself.
17. The Self can never know Itself seeing Itself
separately.
18. The Self deceives Itself seeing everything
separate from Itself.
19. The Self thus believes It is born again and again.
20. The Self wonders why It worships the elemental
forms.
21. Why does the Self worship idols even after
knowing Itself?
22. The Self worships the idol to maintain Itself
beyond the idol.
23. The Self loves the intrigue It develops in Itself.
24. The Self loving Itself is mother and child in one.
25. Beyond the gross, the Self sensed a subtle body
of unfulfilled desires.
26. Beyond the subtle, the Self sensed a causal body
storing these desires.
27. The Self sensed the subtle stored in the causal as
the cause of rebirth.
28. The Self in Itself sensed the supra causal fourth
which transcends all the three.
29. Forever remaining in Itself the Self destroys all
these illusory distinctions.
30. Beyond all associations the Self only sees Itself.
31. As long as the Self knows ‘I am’, the illusion
persists.
32. On realizing ‘I am That’ the distinction of ‘I’ and
‘That’ disappear in the Self.
33. There is no birth and death for the Self abiding in
Itself.
34. The Self liberates Itself by seeing everything as
Itself.
35. The Self requests Itself to narrate Its own
experience.
36. The Self tells Itself how to stabilize in Itself.
37. The Self tells Itself to be attentive to the next and
last narrative of Its own knowledge.

********
The Fifth Narrative

1. The Self bows in gratitude to Itself for the
knowledge of Itself.
2. Not knowing Itself, The Self was trapped in the
illusion initiated by the ‘I am’.
3. Attending to Itself, dispelling differences, the Self
stalls birth and death.
4. Devoid of duality, the Self is beyond time and
space.
5. Devoid of the ‘I am’, the Self is beyond the fourth.
6. Absorbed in silence, the Self is beyond speech.
7. Absorbed in stillness, the Self is beyond
movement.
8. The Self acts as a touchstone to Itself.
9. Unity of the Self with Itself crystallizes the Self
experience.
10. Being Itself the Self is pure as ever.
11. Why It took the Self so many, so called births to
realize Its purity?
12. The Self seeing Itself knows that It is self-
evident.
13. Abiding in Itself, the Self knows no conflict.
14. Abiding in Itself, the Self knows no bondage.
15. All doubts disappeared on the Self being Itself.
16. The Self sees all externality as an obstacle to
know Itself.
17. The Self sees all externality as the cause of
desire.
18. The Self resolves this conflict by seeing all
externality as Itself.
19. Sans-company is the natural state of the Self.
20. Only saying ‘I am the Self’ is not the Self
knowing Itself.
21. ‘Knower’ and ‘known’ merge in the Self
‘knowing’ Itself.
22. Surrendering the perishable to Itself the Self
burns down the birth root.
23. In Its eternal state the Self surrenders the idea ‘I
have surrendered’.
24. Abiding in Itself the Self merges in Itself.
25. Such is the benevolent Self that bestowed Its state
to Itself.
26. Only the Self can become the Self, nothing else.
27. The Self tells Itself to do away with words and
grasp the meaning.
28. Thus ends the narrative of the Self to Itself.

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