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The Self

Pradeep Apte

A narrative of the Self to Itself

The Self Copyright Pradeep Apte 2011 aptep@yahoo.com .

‘Atmaram’ may be loosely translated as ‘the God within’ or ‘the soul within self’. Introduction In the nineties I had read a small book in Marathi titled ‘Atmaram’ by Samartha Swami Ramdas. Pradeep Apte Feb 9th 2011 (aptep@yahoo. I thank my friend Michael Hansen for some corrections in the script. the only thing planned along the way was to keep the number of chapters and verses the same as in the original. The words of Swami Ramdas and my Guru Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj hit me like thunderbolts and this work titled ‘The Self’ was created instantly. Over a decade later reading ‘Atmaram’ again was an astonishing experience. It was totally unplanned and the script flowed spontaneously. At that time many things were not quite clear to me and so the book was quite difficult to understand. This work is not a translation of ‘Atmaram’ but has been inspired by it.com) . It was only after I studied the teachings of my Guru Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj that everything became so clear.

Dedicated to Samartha Swami Ramdas and my Guru Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj .

5. 8. 12. 9. The Self is beyond knowing and not-knowing. How can the Self which has no name or form be praised? 3. Merging of the Self in Itself is the end of all experience.com) The First Narrative 1. 4. How to perceive and offer obeisance to the unborn Self? 2. 10. The Self has flooded Itself with Its grace and bliss. All the Holy Scriptures have originated from the Self. The Self By Pradeep Apte (aptep@yahoo. . The Self can only be known by Itself. 7. 6. Salutations to the Self which made It possible to know Itself. The Self initiates words to know Itself. 11. The Self recites God’s name to know Itself. Logic and discretion disappear in the Self. The mind merges in the Self and disappears.

. The Self removes Its own misconceptions. All the Self has to do is to believe Itself. To know Itself the Self asks Itself ‘Who am I?’ 26. 23. 16. Through arduous practices the Self struggles to find Itself. rests. 18. The Self is the ultimate rest where even rest. Where can the Self go or come? It always is.13. 20. Salutations to the Self listening to Itself. The Self is always accompanying Itself. 17. The highest bliss is the Self knowing Itself. The Self listens to the inexpressible words of Itself from beyond. The Self questions Itself about the so-called many births. The Self preaches to uproot false coverings. 24. Can the Self ever be separated from Itself? 30. The Self quenches Its own thirst. What should the Self hold on to but Itself? 34. 14. The Self knows no illusion apart from Itself. The Self meditates on Itself. 15. Let the Self be attentive to Itself. 28. 19. The Self gets absorbed in an audience of Itself. 32. Can the Self ever deceive Itself? 29. 27. 21. so what perishes? 33. 31. The all pervading Self can be compared only to Itself. To know Itself the Self discards the non-Self. 25. 22.

The Self requests Itself to continue this narrative. The inexpressible words of the Self satisfy Itself. The Self listens attentively to the narrative of Itself. 37. The Self knows that It owns Itself. 38.35. ******** . 39. The Self Itself renounces all that is perishable. 36.

11. as Existence-Consciousness-Bliss. The Self surrenders to Itself. The perishable that appears on the Self is an illusion. Turning inwards. Abandoning the irrelevant external the Self turns towards Itself. 8. The enormous universe merges in the joyous Self. 6. The Self appears as the illusory trinity of knower- known-knowing. Again and again the Self turns towards Itself. 13. . 9. To be Itself the Self has to turn towards Itself. 3. 16. 14. The Self asks Itself about the perishable It has to give up. The Self knows Itself. 10. 12. the impurities appearing on the Self disappear. 5. 2. 15. In the Self-preaching narrative. The Self tells Itself to be alert and careful. The ‘I am’ breeds the three qualities and five elements on the Self. The Self is one but appears two. beyond words. victory is ordained. The Second Narrative 1. 4. The feeling ‘I am’ that appears on the Self is the root illusion.

when known as ‘I am’ It’s illusory. The Self asks as to how anything can be and yet not be. 23. To impart form and name to the Self is the illusion. 21. On the disappearance of ‘I am’ the Self knows Itself. The Self has to understand Its power that shrouds the truth. 28. The ‘I am’ perpetuates the ‘I am’ on the Self. The Self is the ultimate formless form and nameless name. 25.17. 22. 18. 29. 30. 24. 20. The Self tries to resolve the apparent ignorance. 31. 27. 26. The Self liberates Itself by understanding the nature of the illusion. The Self questions the independence of the ‘I am’. The Self negates the ‘I am’ as It never came to be. . 19. The ‘I am’ in movement has created the world on the Self. To realize the non-happening the Self turns towards Itself. The Self discards the ‘I am’ and all that followed It as unreal. The root illusion ‘I am’ has created diversity on the Self. Being is a power of the Self.

41. 33. 40. 35. The Self sees the ‘I am’ and all that followed It as perishable. The Self realizes the folly of attachment to the perishable. Using the illusory ‘I am’ as a tool the Self comes back to Itself. The ‘I am’ appearing on the Self is the root of all knowledge. The Self frees Itself using Its own power that appeared to trap It. 43. Helping the Self realize Itself the ‘I am’ quietly disappears. The Self wrote all the Holy Scriptures to destroy the illusion. The Self sees Its deceptive power ‘I am’ as the creator of duality. 36.32. Beyond association. A unique effect of Its illusory power turns the Self towards Itself. is next in the narrative of the Self to Itself. The Self tells Itself to be alert and stay away from the illusion. 37. 34. The Self perceives the truth of Itself due to the ‘I am’. 38. 42. ******** . 39.

Constantly thinking of Itself. The Self is not within or without. 9. The Self asks Itself to give up all associations including the ‘I am’. The Self sees the Holy Scriptures falling short of words. 6. The Third Narrative 1. 5. 7. The Self is Itself when the ‘I am’ finally disappears. 12. . The Self is at the end of the end. pure and final. 4. The Self is beyond description and touch of the ‘I am’. the Self gradually eliminates the trinity. 2. far or near. The fully detached Self appears attached and diverse. less or more. 10. 3. 8. The Self abiding beyond experience is the only true experience. Like the sky the Self is the integral one. The Self abiding in Itself uproots the illusion instantly. Devoid of movement the Self appears to walk and talk. 11.

13. The Self sees that It is the illusion that binds. The Self claims victory over Itself in all games. 25. Why should the Self accept the illusory ‘I am the body’ idea? 21. 19. 24. as the water. educates and liberates. 15. The Self sees Itself as Itself to break through the spell of untruth. On defeat. 18. 29. 17. The Self can never take Itself away from Itself. Life is a game where all the players are the Self. . 14. 23. The Self eliminates forms to see Its unseen Self. The Self sees the illusion ‘I am’ as the root of all agony. 16. 27. the Self quarrels with Itself in all games. understands It and destroys It. The Self has to tell Itself about Itself. Though unaffected. 20. All sufferings of the Self are due to Its attachment to form and name. To know Itself the Self loses all identity and experiences. 22. Cherishing the body and saying ‘I am Brahman’ embarrasses the Self. 26. The Self faces Its illusory power. All conflicts end with the Self realizing Itself. 30. The Self plays all games with Itself. The Self appears as the fire. The Self cuts off the illusion quietly and swiftly. 28.

the Self meditates on Itself. absorbing the many. 32. Listen to the means by which the unperceived Self knows Itself. 36.31. 35. 34. as a balancing act. The Self sees this multifaceted drama as Itself. The Self sees all thought and images as Itself. Beyond associations. The Self next narrates the gist of practices to end the illusory duality. 33. ******** . the Self remains. To perceive truth.

9. 3. By daily practice. 10. 6. knowledge and renunciation the Self sees Itself. The Self explains to Itself the means to be Itself. The Fourth Narrative 1. Through devotion. The Self questions Itself about the necessity of practice. reflects and directly experiences the truth of Itself. The Self helps Itself by following scriptural injunctions. 4. The Self wonders at Its hesitation to give up the ‘I am’. the Self convinces Itself: ‘I am not the body’. . The Self reminds Itself of giving up the perishable. 2. 7. No practice is required if the Self realizes Itself instantly forever. reflection and meditation. The Self listens. 5. 11. Abandoning scholastic pride the Self preaches Itself. The Self realizes the importance of daily listening. 8.

The Self can never know Itself seeing Itself separately. 21. The Self deceives Itself seeing everything separate from Itself. 15. The Self wonders why It worships the elemental forms. 16. The Self thus believes It is born again and again. 19. 27. Nothing remains after the Self surrenders to Itself. The Self remains when the practitioner. The Self loving Itself is mother and child in one. 20. Blessed is the Self that is one with Itself. The Self merges in Itself with nothing more to say. 24. the Self sensed a subtle body of unfulfilled desires. 18. The Self worships the idol to maintain Itself beyond the idol. the Self sensed a causal body storing these desires. Why does the Self worship idols even after knowing Itself? 22. 13. The Self realizes that saying ‘nothing remains’ again affirms the perishable. 14. 23. . 25. Beyond the subtle. 17. practiced and practice merge and disappear. Beyond the gross. 26. The Self sensed the subtle stored in the causal as the cause of rebirth.12. The Self loves the intrigue It develops in Itself.

******** . 31. As long as the Self knows ‘I am’. the illusion persists. 37. 35. On realizing ‘I am That’ the distinction of ‘I’ and ‘That’ disappear in the Self. The Self requests Itself to narrate Its own experience. Forever remaining in Itself the Self destroys all these illusory distinctions. The Self liberates Itself by seeing everything as Itself. The Self tells Itself how to stabilize in Itself. 30. There is no birth and death for the Self abiding in Itself.28. 32. 34. The Self in Itself sensed the supra causal fourth which transcends all the three. 33. The Self tells Itself to be attentive to the next and last narrative of Its own knowledge. 36. Beyond all associations the Self only sees Itself. 29.

the Self is beyond time and space. 10. Devoid of duality. the Self is beyond movement. 11. The Self acts as a touchstone to Itself. Why It took the Self so many. The Self seeing Itself knows that It is self- evident. 9. 2. 5. 4. Unity of the Self with Itself crystallizes the Self experience. Not knowing Itself. 8. . 6. dispelling differences. Absorbed in stillness. Absorbed in silence. the Self stalls birth and death. Attending to Itself. The Self was trapped in the illusion initiated by the ‘I am’. 3. The Fifth Narrative 1. so called births to realize Its purity? 12. 13. the Self is beyond the fourth. The Self bows in gratitude to Itself for the knowledge of Itself. 7. the Self is beyond speech. Devoid of the ‘I am’. Being Itself the Self is pure as ever. the Self knows no conflict. Abiding in Itself.

22. 21. 25. Thus ends the narrative of the Self to Itself. The Self sees all externality as an obstacle to know Itself. 18. ******** . All doubts disappeared on the Self being Itself. Only the Self can become the Self. The Self sees all externality as the cause of desire. 19.14. 26. 16. ‘Knower’ and ‘known’ merge in the Self ‘knowing’ Itself. 23. 28. nothing else. In Its eternal state the Self surrenders the idea ‘I have surrendered’. 20. The Self tells Itself to do away with words and grasp the meaning. The Self resolves this conflict by seeing all externality as Itself. 17. Abiding in Itself the Self merges in Itself. 27. Sans-company is the natural state of the Self. Surrendering the perishable to Itself the Self burns down the birth root. 24. Such is the benevolent Self that bestowed Its state to Itself. 15. Abiding in Itself. the Self knows no bondage. Only saying ‘I am the Self’ is not the Self knowing Itself.