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http://life.familyeducation.com/behavioural-problems/punishment/42962.html
Handling an Attention-Seeking Child
Page 2
How to Ignore
When you ignore misbehaviours, you are giving no attention. Because attention is rewarding
to children, withholding attention can be an effective punishment. Withholding attention can
weaken a misbehaviour. When your child misbehaves to get your attention, ignore the
misbehaviour. Ignore your child's inappropriate demands for attention. You will weaken
those demands and extinguish the misbehaviour.
Some parents find this hard to believe; they think that if a child is misbehaving, he must be
punished. This is not true. Ignoring demands for attention is the best cure. When you ignore
consistently, you will teach your child that these misbehaviours are not paid off with
attention. Temper tantrums need an audience. Take the audience away, and there is no point
to having a tantrum. Do not forget to redirect. Teach children appropriate ways to get
attention. "My ears do not listen to whining. Please ask in a soft voice."
When to Ignore
Ignoring does not mean ignoring the problem. It means ignoring demands for negative
attention. There are many misbehaviours that you should not ignore. Some misbehaviours
should be punished. Deciding when to ignore or when to punish is not easy, and there are no
exact rules. It takes timing and judgment. When your child misbehaves to get attention,
ignore it. If your child does not stop in two or three minutes, give him a reminder. Tell your
child, "I do not respond to whining. When you stop, we'll talk." Wait another minute or two.
If he still does not stop, then tell your child to stop or he will be punished: "Stop now, or you
will go to time-out."
If you get angry or let your child push your buttons, you lose. If you must use a punishment,
dispense the punishment without anger. If you get angry, then your child has succeeded in
getting the negative attention that he was after. If you feel yourself getting angry, walk away.
Cool off. If you give in, you will be providing your child with an attention payoff. You will
be rewarding a misbehaviour.
Do not take good behaviour for granted: give your children positive attention when they are
behaving. Ignore demands for attention such as teasing and whining; giving in to these
demands encourages children to misbehave to get attention. Understanding these ideas is
easy, but practicing them is difficult. You are worth it. Make the commitment. Your children
are worth it, too.
One of the most frustrating things a parent can experience is having a smart child who refuses
to listen or put forth effort. There are reasons for bad behaviour, but it is up to the parent to
determine what is causing it and how to correct it. A child who is seeking attention of any
kind is a child who will have problems as an adult if the issue at hand isn't corrected. If your
child refuses to follow directions or rules and you are certain there is nothing physically or
mentally wrong with him, then he may be a child who simply wants bad attention rather than
no attention at all. Here are some things to look for when you suspect your child is seeking
bad attention.
Difficulty: Challenging
Instructions
1. 1
Consistent behavioural problems, especially at a young age, are a sign that something
is wrong. Once you have consulted your physician and have been assured there is
nothing physically or mentally wrong, it is time to consider the possibility that he is
simply seeking attention of any kind, be it bad or good.
2. 2
If, by a reasonable age, she still refuses to abide by family rules for no apparent
reason, you have a problem child who is most likely seeking someone's attention. At
this point you must be honest with yourself and ask if it is possible she is disturbed
due to marital problems, a change in the family structure or a recent occurrence.
3. 3
If he won't communicate and is evasive when asked simple questions, this is a sure
sign he is pulling away. You are about to lose him and you must take action. Family
counseling is certainly something to consider and most probably necessary.
4. 4
A single parent home can be a nesting ground for a confused child who needs
attention. Life is hard for a single parent trying to make ends meet and many times
they must work two jobs. If this is the case, find a way to make time for your child.
Chances are he feels the situation is partly his fault, so discuss the circumstances with
him but assure him you will take time with him. Don't be afraid to explain how you
may need help. When he follows through be sure to praise him, giving him good
attention. Small things go a long way with children and it will help him to know he is
contributing to the family.
6. 6
If she is getting in trouble at home but nowhere else, chances are she is seeking your
attention. If she can follow rules elsewhere she can do it at home. Take notice of these
facts and spend time with her. Talk to her to find out what is on her mind. Explain that
she doesn't have to get into trouble to get your attention. If she is old enough to
discuss feelings with understanding but refuses to do so, it is time to seek professional
help.
http://www.ehow.com/how_2148463_determine-child-seeking-attention.html
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/484657/how_to_deal_with_attention_seeking.html
teachers will soon discover who is an attention seeking child and who is in genuine need of
extra instruction in order to complete their assigned task. the attention seeker will say they
need help, but will expect the teacher to do the work for them, thereby using up their time on
just one child. what is the best course of action?
clear instructions
when a teacher is giving instructions, they must point out what they expect from their
students. if necessary, after giving precise instructions, they should call on one or two
children to repeat the instructions. one such instruction could be: "read your questions papers
carefully". this will help to eliminate the need to repeat instructions to children who only
want a portion of the teacher's attention.
Division of time
when dealing with an attention seeking student, teachers must be sure to devote time to all the
children in their class and that also includes the attention seeker. some teachers fall into the
trap of completely ignoring children who are known attention seekers. they will quite
understandably prefer spending time with children who are better behaved. but that would be
detrimental to the attention seeker child's academic growth and development. they also need
some attention, just not the whole of the teacher's attention.
offer sincere praise
teachers can do much to improve the behaviour pattern of children who are known as
attention seekers. rather than constantly telling the child to get on with their work quietly, the
teacher should look for opportunities to offer sincere praise for all their hard work in class.
did they follow instructions properly? did they get on with their work without disturbing
other children? these are just two areas in which teachers can use to offer sincere praise to
children who are craving attention. it is also a refreshing change for many attention seeking
children to receive positive attention from their teachers, rather than criticism.
Teachers should be sensitive to the needs of all the children in their class, even the needs of
children who are attention seekers. there is always a reason why children are attention
seekers. showing empathy for such children and offering praise when it is fitting to do so can
go a long way in boosting the self-esteem of children who are attention seekers.
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/484657/how_to_deal_with_attention_seeking.html
http://specialed.about.com/cs/behaviourdisorders/a/attention.htm
From Sue
This child constantly does things to get your attention and it can become quite annoying.
They will blurt out and tell you what they did or that they're finished their work or that
somebody is copying their work etc. Their desire for attention is almost insatiable. Much of
what they do is done to get attention. It doesn't seem to matter that you provide lots of
attention as they continually seek more.
Why?
The Attention Seeking child is in need of more attention than most. They seem to have
something to prove and don't take as much pride intrinsically as they do extrinsically. This
child may not have a sense of belonging. Try and understand the need, this child may have a
low self-esteem and may need some confidence building. Sometimes the attention seeker is
simply just immature. If this is the case, adhere to the interventions below and the child will
outgrow the insatiable need for attention.
Interventions
Sit down with this child and explain to them that you have a number of children to work
with each day. Provide them with a time that is just for them. Even a two minute period
before or after recess that is their time. Stick to it! Each time they look for the attention,
remind them of their specific time. In time if you're consistent, you will see that this strategy
can work quite well.
Promote intrinsic motivation. Ask the child what they like about what they did.
Always commend the child on his/her improvement.
During the child's special time, take time to boost their confidence.
Provide the child with responsibilities and a leadership role from time to time.
Never forget that ALL children need to know you care about them and that they can
contribute in a positive way. It took the child a long time to become an extreme seeker
of attention, be consistent, patient and understand that change will take time.
1. Students often don't know what appropriate behaviour is - they need to be taught!
Teach the appropriate interactions, responses, anger management - social skills. Use
role play and drama.
2. Expect/demand appropriate responsees by ensuring the bully apologizes directly to
the victim.
3. Have a 0 tolerance classroom policy in place that is well understood.
4. As much as possible, recognize and reward positive behaviour.
Suggested Reading
Behaviour Supports
classroom management
rules and routines
behaviour intervention
behaviour contracts
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Behavioural Disorders
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Child Behaviour
Behaviour Kids
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This article is written to assist and provide support to parents and teachers involved with
behaviour issues that are causing some concerns both at home and or at school. There is
much that can be done to help, however; the focus here is on the preventative approach which
is key to maintain positive behaviours.
A consistent approach when dealing with children with behavioural concerns most often
leads to more productive and positive behaviours. It is highly recommended that you plan
strategies that you can implement regularly. Whether the child is acting out, involved in
conflicts, bullying, or being verbally or physically aggressive; it is important to ensure that
you have positive interactions and that you refrain from calling the child 'bad', it is the
behaviour being exhibited that you are unhappy with and the child needs to know it is not
him/her it is the behaviour. Acceptable and appropriate behaviour is developmental - it
happens over time and is greatly influenced by parental support and guidance, peers, previous
experiences and the intervention techniques employed by teachers, caregivers and parents. As
Dr. Phil often says: "You teach people how to treat you".
Occasionally, despite your ongoing efforts using consistent applications of interventions and
techniques, some children will continue to display ongoing behavioural difficulties. You
cannot be all things to your child at all times. You may need to seek the advice and assistance
of professionals.
The Basics:
Promote self-esteem and confidence every chance you can. Catch your child doing
something great and praise him/her.
Provide opportunities for the child to become responsible. When they take responsibility
well, let him/her know.
Always be objective and understanding - do not lose your patience even though you are
tempted to.
Use your best judgment at all times, remain objective and seek to understand.
Patience, patience, patience! Even though you may be very frustrated.
Next Steps:
In Summary:
If you're this far - you're concerned and you want some strategies. Now you're ready for the
implementation stage. You are now ready for the 5-step plan:
Once again, if after several consistent tries you find your plan isn't working and there is no
noticeable change in the unacceptable behaviours, the child may need to be referred to a
specialist.
Good luck!
Behaviour Disorders
Behaviour Plan, Behaviour Modification Plan
Child Behaviour - Improving Child Behaviour With Positive Attention
Improve Children's Behaviour - Improve Children's Behaviour with Pre-...
Conduct Disorder
Behaviour Contracts
Printables for Your Students/Children
thinks sheets
special ed worksheets
printables
communication sheets
behaviour contracts
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Contracts
Behaviour Disorder Test
Dog Behaviour
Behaviour Kids
Teen Behaviour
Before using the contracts below, find out how to implement behaviour contracts.
1. Towards Positive Behaviour: This goal sheet targets specific behaviour goals each day and
requires the teacher/parent signature.
Word - PDF
2. On Target: A weekly self-monitoring behaviour checklist.
Word - PDF
3. Smiling Faces and Not So Smiling Faces: Great for younger children, helps to keep them on
top of inappropriate behaviours.
Word - PDF
4. Race to 20: State the goal(s) and let the student work toward 20, bottom half is the same
concept to 30.
Word - PDF
5. Make it to 100: This goal sheet tracks 100 points for meeting behaviour goals or objectives.
Rewards/Incentives need to be in place when the child reaches 100.
Word - PDF
6. Countdown to Positive Behaviour: This very popular worksheet should sit on the student's
desk. It focuses on modifying one behaviour at a time. A great self-monitoring tool to teach a
child to raise his/her hand and not speak out.
Word - PDF
7. Countdown - I can do it: Same as above, the teacher identifies the behaviour whereas the
above worksheet has the behaviour identified.
PDF
8. Reinforcement & Consequences: This sample contract is suitable for first to eighth grade
students and should be filled in with the teacher present. Requires the reinforcements and
consequences to be listed.
Word - PDF
9. Monday to Friday Checklist: This particular sample requires the teacher to sign per day or
per half day each time the child exhibits appropriate behaviour. There should be a reinforcer
or reward in place for a specific number of teacher initials.
Word - PDF
10. Functional Behaviour Assessment Worksheet: This particular worksheet is what gets things
started! This should be brought to the first meeting where a behaviour contract may be
implemented.
Word - PDF
Behaviour Plans
What Is an IEP?
How to Prepare an IEP
Writing Effective Goals for an IEP
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http://specialed.about.com/cs/behaviourdisorders/a/attention.htm
http://specialed.about.com/cs/behaviourdisorders/a/behavcontract.htm
Behaviour Contracts
What are they? How do they Help?
behaviour contracts
goal setting
classroom management
rules and routines
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Now!www.iNerdy.com
A behaviour contract is an agreement between the child and teacher and often includes the
student's parent(s).
See Samples Here The behaviour contract is a written agreement about how the individual
will behave. It will indicate the appropriate consequence should the student neglect to behave
according to the contract and it also states the reinforcer to be used for successful compliance.
The behaviour contract provides the student with structure and self-management. The
behaviour contract is often an effective form of behaviour modification.
The contract should be written with the student and teacher - collaboration. It would be wise
to involve the parent under certain circumstances. The contract should include the following:
The goal. (Will not speak out, will keep hands to him/herself, will remain on task, etc.)
How will the student receive the reward? (Become the teacher's monitor after completing 5
assignments on time etc.)
What is the consequence should the child not adhere to the behaviour described in the
contract?
Time should be clearly stated in the contract. You may choose a half day, a full day, a week
etc.
Define who and how the behaviour will be monitored. (teacher initials, stickers, check mark
system etc.)
Set a date for reviewing the contract
It is important to involve the student in the writing of the contract. Ask the student to make
suggestions for reinforcement and consequence for failure to comply. Contracts should name
specific behaviours to be changed. Focus on 1 or 2 behaviours at a time. Consequences and
reinforcers need to be thought out clearly. You can include tangible reinforcers, social or
activity based reinforcers, curtailment of an activity, tokens that can be cashed in for a
specific activity etc. NOTE: A minor problem with behaviour contracts is that the focus is on
controlling a student's behaviour rather than helping the child make wise choices. Keep this
in mind when developing behaviour contracts. Behaviour contracts don't often work right
away, be patient and consistent, you should see results. Know when it's time to review and
revise. When the contract is not working well, be sure to include the student when making
revisions.
Teacher Helper
Caring for Class Pet
5-10 Minute Free Choice Activity
Happy Note to Mom
Tell the Class a Joke or Read a Text Selection
Free Library Period
Read with a Buddy
Listen to a taped story
Provide Office Help
Leading the Group
Helping In Another Classroom
Once again, a little patience goes a long way. It is critical for the student to know that
you like them and that you're only disappointed in their behaviour. Be sure to let the
student know that you share their goals, you both want what's best for the student.
Praise goes a long way. I have been working with special education (behavioural)
students for a long time, these strategies have never failed me yet!
Suggested Reading
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http://specialed.about.com/cs/behaviourdisorders/a/behavcontract.htm