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Jacob’s ladder short a few rungs Zuma makes mediocrity our gold standard
LIKE everyone else, I sat up late last churning my neurons when it NOT BAD at all. Actually a good energy; for a clear commitment to country belonging to the people.
week waiting for President Jacob occurred to me that Zuma evidently speech because he cleverly arrest our country’s slide down the But when he became vague about
Zuma to resign. The scrambled eggs In a State had no intention of resigning! addressed all the factions in the rul- Pale Native slippery slope of corruption, enti- the issue, I realised he was actually
that pass for Facebook and Twitter What a disappointment. I hastily ing party. A good thing that he tlement and laissez faire. talking to Julius Malema in the
posts were agog with speculation
peter wilhelm twiddled the knobs of my gerbil- focused on job creation. He sounded
max du preez For anyone outside the circle of public gallery.
that he would flee the country in a driven TV set and landed on Al almost statesman-like. Ja-nee, all is ANC faithful to praise the speech Immediately after the speech I
prayer-powered Gripen – resigning This won’t even pay for the can- Jazeera, an independent channel well in sunny South Africa. the opening of Parliament to a would boil down to the soft bigotry heard Malema declare in an inter-
himself to exile in some favourable, dles you need to light the ferocious much relied upon my other neigh- This seems to be the general Thursday evening exactly so more of low expectations. view that Zuma was endorsing the
US-backed despotism, perhaps The grimacing and squawking of the bour, who is building a mosque. reaction to President Jacob Zuma’s citizens can follow his speech on tel- I was happy that Zuma focused nationalisation of mines and
Ivory Coast or Lesotho – where shep- hungry cultural workers on stage. Hosni “Gatvol” Mubarak would State of the Nation address in Par- evision and radio. This is the one on job-creation. I heard him say he shortly after that the minister of
herds steal their flocks by night and Yet another black mark against appear to have been the one every- liament last week. I thought it was occasion where the president of was going to throw money at the mines denied it. In a Sunday paper
have halted Aids in its tracks by Zuma. Not to mention the serial body wanted to flee – instantly, if not a dismal speech. At the end of it, I South Africa should communicate problem. Lots of money. I know three days later Zuma was asked
female circumcision. marriages and whale oil with which before. But what a tease, worse than was more than disappointed; I was with the citizens – not the lame, other governments have also done whether his words meant a green
If I understood correctly, Zuma to buff his head. As for switching off Zuma! In the end, crowds of people angry. badly organised so-called imbizos that and it turned out to be a waste light to nationalisation, and he
proposed to give away R20 billion to electricity to save energy, how will wailed inconsolably or cheered We have been so conditioned by “with the ordinary people” during of taxpayer’s money. He didn’t tell answered: I don’t think it does. He
the growing numbers of PhDs who we watch the SABC? when they discovered they would be the all-consuming faction fights in the course of the year or when he me why his way was going to be dif- doesn’t think – but wait, those were
can’t find jobs. Decent jobs. No-one Further, since we now learn that getting a brand-new dictatorship. the ANC and the utter lack of vision talks at ANC functions. ferent. Was he really going to get his own words, weren’t they, surely
wants to serve bubbling pizzas and it cost R100 million to stage the There was some comfort in the and leadership from Zuma and his I am a citizen and Jacob Zuma is millions of people proper long-term he must know what he meant?
pastas at Col’Cacchio in Cavendish World Festival of Youth and Stu- speculation that a sober, middle-of- ineffectual cabinet that we rejoice at my president. On Thursday night I employment through public works As he was finishing his bland
Square, particularly if the diners dents, I think it obvious that R3 800 the-road, faith-based group of schol- the mediocre because at least it made myself comfortable in front schemes? Zuma is an intelligent sentence on welcoming the regime
are rushing off to see The King’s per person won’t keep us in ciga- ars called al-Qaeda could take over. isn’t a disaster. The people of South of my TV because my president man with some very clever advisers change in Egypt and the will of the
Speech round the corner. And if you rettes for a week, since everything Since South Africa appears not to Africa deserve more than this. was going to speak to me about the on economic matters. Surely he people of that country, I was sure he
are nabbed, you have to return to the costs more now that the oil price is have decided – unlike America – to Zuma’s cheering commando state of my country and tell me knows what the real impediments was going to at least say something
Congo or Rwanda where your life zooming. Thank goodness the Karoo open its doors to the world’s “tired, inside the ANC hail his address as about his vision for the future. I did- are to creating jobs? But some of about the will of the people of
expectancy will resemble the 47 sec- is now to be mined for natural gas your poor, your huddled masses a magnificent performance by a n’t need passages from Shake- his constituents don’t want to hear Zimbabwe, where a new reign of
onds in the Battle of Stalingrad. and we may soon not have to rely on yearning to breathe free – the man of the people. Zuma apologists, speare. I just wanted my president that, so he can’t say that. terror has just been unleashed.
A decent job, of course, would be extensions of hosepipes leading wretched refuse of your teeming some parading as political analysts, to communicate with me. I was happy to hear him say the Not a peep from the president
to run a theatrical company in from Julius Malema’s rear end. shore” it looks as if they will all feel they have to remind us that the My president let me down. He focus in education should be teach- of the leading country on the sub-
which threatening sounds are made I also think there’s lot of coal in have to find sanctuary within the president is not expected to explain couldn’t even read his lines prop- ing, time and textbooks. As he said continent.
at the audience but little else hap- the useless game reserves that the kindly armpits of al-Qaeda. policy or give any detail of his erly and fluffed several words. It it, I knew that the kids in the East- Thursday night’s speech was
pens; the Athol Fugard in Wood- apartheid regime saddled us with; If I had really wanted to avoid grand schemes when he opens Par- was the predictable, bland speech ern Cape were still without books more about the ANC than about the
stock is there for the taking. How- and if you want someone to run a confusion, I should have turned to liament; that happens at the written by a bunch of apparatchiks and millions of pupils were attend- state of the nation.
ever, is R20 billion really enough? If State-owned mining company, I rec- yet another channel and watched Finance Minister’s budget speech for a party leader who wants to ing schools in ruins or makeshift Zuma the Great Listener, the
you divide it by the number of itin- ommend my disgusting and thievish Friday the Thirteenth – Part II. and other occasions. throw out a bone to every dog in the structures. Empty words. Man of the People. Ja, right. More
erant PhDs you arrive at about neighbour, Gatvol van der Pomp. That would have been quite grue- What nonsense. Zuma has bro- neighbourhood. I was yearning for My ears pricked up when he like the Great Disappointment, the
R3 800 per person. Once off. Such peevish thoughts were some enough. ken years of tradition by moving some straight talk; for a sense of talked about the minerals of the Man of the Party.