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17 Feb 2011

DIVORCE AND CHILDREN

According to number of surveys and research studies, divorce rate is increasing day by

day. There may be several different reasons behind this but the important thing is the after

effects of divorce on their children. Divorce is the decision of both husband and wife so only the

children are the ones who are negatively affected. It doesn’t only make the children to think

that they are lonely and both of their parents don’t care for them but they also get stressed and

confused about themselves by divorce among parents (Krantzler & Krantzler, 2003). Actually for

kids it becomes very difficult to decide what life is going to bring for them as they had

experienced a bad side of life already by seeing a stressing behavior of their parents.

It is very significant to note here that increasing rate of divorce among parents is also

increasing the risk for their children for a variety of problems in studies, relationships and

standing confidently in a crowd. Especially children from divorced families usually have

academic problems which is very bad for their whole life and career. Usually it has been

observed that children from such families are aggressive toward everything and usually get

troubled when they are in any bad situation. They have very low self-esteem and they are

usually under depression and some of them develop very annoying attitude towards the society

which is again very bad for their mental health. They usually have general disliking behavior for

their parents, siblings and even peer in their school and at home and that would be the reason
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that most of them are seen fighting with other kids in their locality. A research study done by

Ganong & Coleman proved that these types of children develop very wrong behavior toward

life and thus stop caring about others as they believe that nobody cares for them (Ganong &

Coleman, 1999). And this might be the reason that many among them gets into drugs and other

illegal activities to get mental and financial relaxations. Usually the children from divorced

families start believing that they have been underestimated by their parents, friends, families

and teachers so they are very reluctant to perform anything good and they don’t accept

appreciations easily. Another behavior which has been observed in such children is that they

just stay quite every time and everywhere. Even if somebody wants to talk about their benefit

they can’t share their feelings and thus they try to avoid meeting with people and usually stay

alone.

Although this process is meant to be very painful for children but this can be made less

painful for children with a little effort of their parents or separating partners. This can be done

by providing stable environment to your kids and discussing every divorce related matter

outside your home. Each of the partners should deal their children with love and care and they

should also hear all their queries and problems with a positive attitude (Paxton, Valois & Drane,

2007). One thing which parents should keep in their minds in such scenarios is that today or

tomorrow but they have to tell their children about what actually is going to happen, so parents

should start counseling with their children so that they don’t get shocked when divorce actually

happens. This would not only comfort the mental stress of child but would also let the whole

process end very calmly and smoothly. Children would start feeling more relaxed and confident

and just a little effort of partners would make their life easier.
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References

Ganong, L. H., & Coleman, M. Changing families, changing responsibilities : Family obligations

following divorce and remarriage. Mahwah, N.J.: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.

Retrieved March 26, 2008 from Net Library, 1999.

Krantzler, M., & Krantzler, P. B. Moving beyond your parents' divorce. Chicago: Retrieved March

26, 2008 from Net Library, 2003.

Paxton, R., Valois, R., & Drane, J. Is there a relationship between family structure and substance

use among public middle school students? Journal of Child & Family Studies, 16(5), 593-

605, 2007.