International Adoptions -

Dependency & Socialisation

Alan Challoner MA (Phil.) MChS

“ ... the best that any individual scientist ... can do seems to be to follow his own
gleam and his own bent, however inadequate they may be.”

Edward Tolman, 1959

Abstracted from: For Want of a Better Good - ©

 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Preface
The government published updated guidance to local authorities in England in February
2011 which made it clear that ethnicity and race should not be barriers to adoption.
For many people this initiative will be a relief but there are still important issues to be
considered and making the process easier from an administrative standpoint does not
necessarily make it easier for the child that is to be adopted and the family who wishes
to adopt a child from another culture.

The decision to adopt is not an easy one to take. There are very many things to
consider especially when cultural issues are to be considered. However, what may not
be realised is that cultural issues are involved in any adoption.

Petrinovitch maintained that one of the most important events determining the
moral status of an individual occurs at birth. At that point, an emotional level
comes into play at which attachment occurs — the organism attains the status of
personhood. The neonate is recognized as a member of the human moral
community, which entitles it to respect from all moral agents who, from that
point on, must assume duties and responsibilities toward this moral person. The
status of personhood is the biological embodiment of the social contract that
moulds the family and community. It represents the end point of foetal
development, and signals the successful progress of the reproductive process
that drives evolution and connects us with all of nature. 1

There are many issues that are brought to bear on how the influence of early
experience characterises a child’s eventual behavioural characteristics. These include:
traumatic neonatal events, nutrition, contact with human culture, various forms of
sensory deprivation and diminished opportunities for motor exercise. These have been
classified by Beach and Jaynes (1954), into at least four sub-groups:

1. traditional concern with the relative contribution of maturation and learning

behaviour development;

2. certain psychoanalytic theories regarding infantile experiences (e.g., limited

feeding responses);

3. the special type of learning that Lorenz called ‘imprinting’;

4. the importance of early perceptual experiences upon subsequent performance in

learning situations. 2

Investigations into child-rearing practices in different cultures and sub-cultures has been
undertaken by many but this work has been undertaken in our own cultural setting by

1
Petrinovitch, L. Darwinian Dominion. MIT Press 1999. pp5.
2
Beach, F. A.; & Jaynes, J. Effects of early experience upon the behaviour of animals.
Psychological Bulletin, , 51; [pp., 239-263]; 1954.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Davis and Havighurst (1947) 3, Milner (1951) 4, and Williams and Scott (1953) 5. Of
interest here is Milner’s study that examined the relationship between reading readiness
in first-grade children and patterns of parent-child interaction. Milner found that upon
school entrance the lower-class child seems to lack chiefly two advantages enjoyed by
the middle-class child.

The first is described as “a warm positive family atmosphere or adult-

relationship pattern which is more and more being recognized as a motivational
prerequisite of any kind of adult-controlled learning.” The lower-class children in
Milner’s study perceived adults as predominantly hostile.
The second advantage is an extensive opportunity to interact verbally with
adults in the family. The latter point is illustrated by parental attitudes toward mealtime
conversation, lower-class parents tending to inhibit and discourage such conversation,
while middle-class parents encourage it.

There are probably more adoptions undertaken in cross-cultural situations than many
people realise and now it is more common for international adoptions to take place
when the child to be adopted is no longer an infant and has been exposed to at least its
indigenous culture and possibly that of an institution. It is important for potential
adoptive parents to try and understand how a child can be better understood and how it
can be helped to deal with its life-changing transition.

Other important issues that are beyond culture also have to taken into consideration.
Children awaiting international adoption and families travelling to adopt these children
can be exposed to a variety of infectious diseases. foreign countries often have
different immunization practices and methods of diagnosing, treating, and monitoring
disease. Reporting of medical conditions can also differ.

The prevalence of infectious diseases varies from country to country and may or may
not be common among adopted children. The transmission of tuberculosis, hepatitis B,
and measles from adopted children to family members has been documented.
Furthermore, infectious organisms (e.g., intestinal parasites), bacterial pathogens (e.g.,
Bordetella pertussis and Treponema pallidum), and viruses (e.g., human
immunodeficiency virus and hepatitis viruses) may cause clinically significant morbidity
and mortality among infected children.

Diseases such as severe acute respiratory syndrome or avian influenza have not been
reported among international adoptees, but transmission is possible if infection is
present. Family members may be infected by others during travel or by their adopted
child after returning home. Families preparing to adopt a child from abroad should pay
special attention to the infectious diseases they may encounter and to the precautions
they should take on returning home. 6

3
Davis, W. A., And Havighurst, R. J. Father of the Man: How Your Child Gets His
Personality. Boston, USA, Houghton Mifflin Co., 1947.
4
Milner, E. A. A Study of the Relationships Between Reading Readiness in Grade One
School Children & Patterns of Parent-Child Interaction. Child Development, 22; [pp., 95-
112]; 1951.
5
Williams, Judith R.; & Scott, R. B. Growth & Development of Negro Infants: IV. Motor
development & its relationship to child rearing practices in two groups of negro infants.
Child Development, 24; [pp., 103-121]; 1953.
6
Staat DD and Klepser ME. International adoption: issues in infectious diseases.
Pharmacotherapy. 2006 Sep;26(9):1207-20.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

A study by Miller et al has assessed the relationship between developmental status of

international adoptees at the time of entry into the United States and their nutritional
status and concurrent medical problems. 7

They found that the anthropometric measurements of the international adoptees were
below the means for weight, height, and head circumference based on standards of the
World Health Organization. Only 65 children (50%) were developmentally normal.
Gross motor delays were identified in 43 children (33%), fine motor delays in 52 (40%),
language delays in 23 (18%), cognitive delays in 21 (16%), and global delays in 18
(14%). The severity of delays was related to z scores for weight, height, and head
♦
circumference. The 36 children with medical problems had lower z scores compared
with healthy children and were more likely to have delayed development.

As a result they believe that there should be careful developmental and growth
screening of internationally adopted children at entry into the United States.
Longitudinal studies of internationally adopted children may provide evidence about the
reversibility of growth and developmental delays, findings applicable to any
environmentally deprived child.

Harf et al have stated that International adoption involves more than 40 000 children a
year. They have estimated the effects of international adoption on externalizing
•
behaviour problems during adolescence and the prevalence of externalizing problem
behaviours in samples of adolescents who were adopted from a foreign country as
infants or young children, compared to non-adopted adolescents.

They found that some internationally adopted adolescents exhibited more externalizing
behaviour problems than do non-adopted adolescents. International adoptees with pre-
adoption adversity showed more externalizing problems than international adoptees
without evidence of extreme deprivation.

They stress that adoption itself is not a risk factor in the adjustment of adolescents.
Differences between groups of adopted and non-adopted adolescents may reflect the
presence of a small number of severely disturbed adolescents, possibly with extremely
adverse pre-placement histories. 8

Before adoption, international adoptees often experience insufficient medical care,

malnutrition, maternal separation, and neglect and abuse in orphanages. 9 Juffer et al
found that most international adoptees are well-adjusted although they are referred to
mental health services more often than non-adopted controls. However, they also found

7
Miller LC, Kiernan MT, Mathers MI, Klein-Gitelman M. Developmental and nutritional
status of internationally adopted children. Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 1995 Jan;149(1):40-4.

A common statistical way of standardizing data on one scale so a comparison can take place is
using a z-score. The z-score is like a common yard stick for all types of data. Each z-score
corresponds to a point in a normal distribution and as such is sometimes called a normal deviate
since a z-score will describe how much a point deviates from a mean or specification point.

Externalizing Behavior Disorder is usually quite noticeable and involves a variety of
characteristics such as: demanding of teacher’s attention; disobeys, is disruptive, is openly
defiant; exhibits illegal or self-destructive behaviour, such as lying, theft, or drug use; shows
aggressiveness towards other children or property.
8
Harf A, Taïeb O, and Moro MR. Service de Psychopathologie de l'Enfant et de l'Adolescent
et de Psychiatrie Générale (Professeur Marie-Rose Moro), Hôpital Avicenne (APHP), Université
Paris XIII. Encephale. 2007 May-Jun;33(3 Pt 1):270-6.
9
Juffer F, van Ijzendoorn MH. Behavior problems and mental health referrals of international
adoptees: a meta-analysis. JAMA. 2005 May 25;293(20):2501-15.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

in their research that international adoptees presented fewer behaviour problems and
were less often referred to mental health services than domestic adoptees.

Children born in the countries of the former Soviet Union and Eastern Europe are now a
main source of international adoptions in the United States, but often little information
is available about these children prior to adoption.

Pre-adoptive medical records from these international adoptees included multiple

diagnoses suggesting severe neurologic impairment. Although these diagnoses were
not confirmed when the children were evaluated in the United States, substantial growth
and developmental delays were identified. There were 43 (91%) of 47 medical reports
available from the children's birth countries that included multiple unfamiliar neurologic
diagnoses. 10

In a further study of children who had been adopted from China, Scott et al examined
the early language development of adoptees as they believed that little was known
about the school-age language and literacy skills of internationally adopted children.
The focus of the study was the oral and written language skills of school-age adoptees
from China.

As a group, the majority of children exhibited scores in the average to above average
range for all oral and written standardized language measures. Narrative analysis
indicated that an increase in the number of grammatical errors was moderately
correlated with lower reading comprehension scores. Age at adoption was negatively

correlated with several measures, including a narrative measure of grammatical errors

per T-unit .

These findings provide an encouraging outlook on the oral and written language
outcomes of internationally adopted children from China through the early elementary
grades. Moreover, they support earlier research that speaks to the resiliency and
robustness of language acquisition abilities in children. 11

Groza et al believe that adopted children bring to their families unique strengths, as well
as the possibility, for some, of physical, emotional and behavioural health risks, and
challenges. They found that the parent-child relationship was a strong resource for
parents and that there was a strong relationship between parental negative reports with
the relationship and child behaviour problems. 12

10
Albers LH, Johnson DE, Hostetter MK, Iverson S, Miller LC. Health of children adopted
from the former Soviet Union and Eastern Europe. Comparison with preadoptive medical records.
JAMA. 1997 Sep 17;278(11):922-4.

A negative correlation is one where, as the values of one of the variables increase, the values
of the second variable decrease; likewise, as the value of one of the variables decreases, the
value of the other variable increases. For example: Crying and being held — among babies,
those who are held more tend to cry less or phrased as babies who are held less tend to cry more.

In linguistics, the term T-unit is defined as the, shortest grammatically allowable sentences
into which writing can be split. Often, but not always, a T-unit is a sentence.
11
Kathleen A Scott, Jenny A Roberts and Rena Krakow. Oral and written language
development of children adopted from china. Am J Speech Lang Pathol 17(2):150-60 (2008)
12
Groza V, Ryan SD, Cash SJ. Institutionalization, behavior and international adoption:
predictors of behavior problems. J Immigr Health . 2003 Jan;5(1):5-17.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Cataldo et al have found that Children adopted from abroad by Italian families have
increased during recent years. Since 2001 to 2004 they have been more than 10,000,
mainly from Eastern Europe, and all indications suggest that they will continue to
increase. Most of the internationally adopted children resided in orphanage before
adoption where they may have experienced malnutrition, exposure to infectious
diseases, environmental deprivation and neglect.

Moreover, their pre-adoptive records are scarcely reliable and their immunization status
is not always adequate. The most common long-term problems of internationally
adopted children concern developmental and scholastic delay especially if they come
from a long and severely deprived institutional setting, precocious puberty and, during
adolescence, depressive disorders as well as antisocial behaviours. Inter-country
adopted children are at increased risk for health and social problems and have to be
recognized as a group of subjects requiring special medical attentions. Specialized
centres for internationally adopted children where they could receive medical
evaluations upon arrival and a prolonged health follow-up should be set up. 13

Schechter and Holter write that paediatricians must be thoughtful to individualize the
care of adoptive children and not make assumptions shortly after adoption. They
believe that it is critical to avoid using standard parenting advice that may not apply to
children who have experienced loss, deprivation, separation, and instability in their
early lives.

By listening to families, carefully evaluating children, and monitoring progress over

time, paediatricians can avoid the pitfall of oversimplifying and underestimating the
complexity and challenges that these families face. Instead, paediatric primary care
providers can play a key role in maximizing the potential of an internationally adopted
child and his or her family.

The adoptive process can produce unusual stresses on the child, and biologic and
adoptive parents, from prenatal to postnatal life, and through the various phases of
physical and psychological development. Because of the possibility of these children
and their families falling into the at risk category with greater potential for psychological
and social problems, the paediatrician is of primary importance in diagnosis and
counselling.

The paediatrician can be of major help in properly diagnosing emotional, behavioural

and/or learning problems occurring in adopted children. There must be a thorough
evaluation of the child and his family to understand and properly treat symptomatic
behaviour.

The paediatrician can give advice regarding developmental milestones, and especially
help the adoptive parents in appreciating their conscious and unconscious attitudes so
as to enhance attachment behaviours.

Paediatricians are the consultants to whom parents turn for advice regarding the timing
of telling about adoption. This advice needs to be individualized according to the
specific child's needs. Using a developmental conceptual framework, the paediatrician
is in the best position to help the parents and their adopted children with their feelings
about societal attitudes and how these can most appropriately be handled.

Along this line, the paediatrician can give help and advice when and if the adoptee
decides to search for his biologic parents. There is a need to clarify laws which seal the

13
Cataldo F, Accomando S, Porcari V. Internationally adopted children: a new challenge for
pediatricians. Minerva Pediatr. 2006 Feb;58(1):55-62.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

original birth certificate permitting those adoptees who wish to attain knowledge of
potentially related disease processes and an identity with his genealogical past to do so.
This would also allow the adoptee to offer his own children information about their own
genetic pool and an awareness of adoption as one of the most valuable and historically
significant child rearing practices. 14

In a study of Romanian adoptees to the United States, Groza & Ryan found that the
most significant predictor of children's behaviour is a negative pre-adoptive history of
abuse or institutionalization and the current parent-child relationship. In addition, the
domestic and international adoptees' behaviour is more similar than it is different. Their
study highlighted the importance of helping families understand how early negative
experiences are associated with behaviour difficulties. Their findings suggest that
families may have similar need for social and medical services, regardless of the
country of origin of adoption. 15

As a result of their pre-adoptive histories and experiences, internationally adopted

children, with a history of institutionalization, can present with a complex profile of
developmental and behavioural issues. Although many children demonstrate significant
recovery and resilience after joining their adoptive homes, others go on to have mild or
sometimes more severe developmental and behavioural issues. This high-risk
population requires comprehensive evaluation, monitoring, and interventions by
professionals with expertise in child development and knowledge of the impact of
institutionalized care to support optimal developmental and behavioural outcomes for
children and their families. 16

Adopting older children who have been in care presents problems to potential parents
whether the child is from a foreign country or not. There will need to be remedies
applied when there has been abuse and neglect of a child as well as a determination to
identify professional responsibilities to adoptive families.

Rees et al made a study that highlighted the importance in safeguarding children and of
considering the implications of parental childhood experiences. They found that the
high prevalence of domestic violence in birth families indicated the need for better
resources for managing emotional dysregulation. Adoption is a valuable therapeutic
tool, but professional responsibilities in supporting it need to be acknowledged and

adequately resourced. Dysfunctional hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis
programming may contribute to persisting difficulties and supporting substitute care
should be considered integral to safeguarding children. 17

China has become a lead country for international adoption because of the relatively
young age of the children and reported positive conditions of the orphanages there. A
study by Cohen et al, examined the process and outcome of growth and development of
children adopted from China over their first two years with their adoptive families.

14
Schechter MD, Holter FR. Adopted children in their adoptive families. Pediatr Clin North
Am. 1975 Aug;22(3):663-61.
15
Groza V, Ryan SD. Pre-adoption stress and its association with child behavior in domestic
special needs and international adoptions. Psychoneuroendocrinology. 2002 Jan-Feb;27(1-2):181-
97.
16
Nalven L. Strategies for addressing long-term issues after institutionalization. Pediatr Clin
North Am. 2005 Oct;52(5):1421-44, viii.

There is a general belief that hyperactivity of the hypothalamus-pituitary-adrenal axis (HPA-
axis) is associated with depression and anxiety disorders,
17
Rees CA, Selwyn J. Non-infant adoption from care: lessons for safeguarding children. Child
Care Health Dev. 2009 Jul;35(4):561-7.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

At arrival, children adopted from China were smaller physically and exhibited
developmental delays compared to current peers. However, these children were
functioning in the average range on physical and developmental measures within the
first 6 months following adoption. Despite that, they were not performing as well as
current peers until the end of their second year after adoption. Even then, there was
developmental variation in relation to comparison children and continuation of relatively
smaller size with respect to height, weight, and head circumference. Physical
measurement was related to outcomes at various points on all developmental
measures.

They concluded that deprivation in experience in the first year of life has more long-
lasting effects on physical growth than on mental development. The variable most
consistently related to development was height-to-age ratio. As a measure of nutritional
status, the findings reinforce the critical importance of early nutrition. 18

The remainder of this paper deals with the psychological problems that are associated
with adopting children who have attachment problems. There needs to be a system in
place that recognises and is able to deal with children who have significant attachment
problems and this is best done before adoption. It should recognise that actions are
needed to increase the probability that such children can be successfully adopted.
Hughes has considered healthy and disordered attachment patterns in such children, as
well as the principles and strategies that are important in parenting such children and
the parenting characteristics that should be sought in selecting families for children with
attachment disorder. Psychological treatment and other post adoption services are
necessary to support the adoption and the child's ability to successfully form a secure
attachment with the adoptive parents. 19

Children adopted internationally and their families are a heterogeneous group.

Internationally-adopted children have been reported to have a range of developmental
and behavioural difficulties. Weitzman et al describe the current evidence documenting
developmental outcomes for children and common behavioural and mental health
concerns including attachment difficulties that may impact children and their families
after international adoption. 20

18
Nancy J Cohen, Mirek Lojkasek, Zohreh Yaghoub Zadeh, Mirella Pugliese and Heidi
Kiefer. Children adopted from China: a prospective study of their growth and development. J
Child Psychol Psychiat 49(4):458-68 (2008)
19
Hughes DA. Adopting children with attachment problems. Child Welfare. 1999 Sep-
Oct;78(5):541-60.
20
Weitzman C, Albers L. Long-term developmental, behavioral, and attachment outcomes
after international adoption. Pediatr Clin North Am. 2005 Oct;52(5):1395-419, viii.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Introduction

During the first eight or nine months of life a child should be building up a set of
expectations with regard to how his needs will be met; he is learning dependency.
Translated into Erikson’s language, he is learning basic trust in another human being.
He learns to depend upon others by having his physical needs met consistently by one
person. If he does not learn that he can depend upon others, however, serious
personality difficulties arise.

Many children who have been adopted from orphanages in Europe and Asia have such
basic difficulties. Bringing these children to another (supposedly better) life is an act of
humanity and rescue that may lead to frustration and pain before the benefits begin to
accrue. It is important that potential adopters are aware of the problems that might lie
ahead before they commit themselves to what may be several years of very hard work
that will wreak havoc on their emotions and on those of the children involved. Some
knowledge of the underlying anxieties that are brought about through children missing-
out on critical-period developments is essential before parents embark on their journeys
of discovery.

Bender has described children who have not had continuous affectionate care of one
person up to the age of nine months:

"These children impress us with their diffusely impulsive unpatterned behaviour.

At all levels the behaviour is unorganized and remains unorganized.”

These are children who have not learned dependency behaviour.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Dependency and Socialisation

Psychologists consider that there are probably many critical periods for maximal
behaviour change during child development. Environmental impacts experienced
before or after such a critical period are hypothesized to be less effective in modifying
or extending the affected behavioural skills.21
McGraw22 has presented convincing evidence that there is a critical period during
infancy (latter half of the second year of life) during which training for toilet routines
may be most easily and successfully accomplished. Stendler suggests that there may
be two critical periods in the early socialization process during which excessive
frustrations will result in over-dependence on the parent. It is further suggested that
such over-dependent children will have extreme difficulty in making satisfactory
adjustments to some of the demands imposed by the culture in their later development.
(Stendler, 1963)
Beller has suggested five aspects of the socializing agent that come to have reward
value for the child.23
• Perhaps the first aspect of the parent that acquires such value is that of
physical contact; the infant learns to associate being picked up with reduction of
the hunger drive, or being burped with reduction of pain. Thus the three-months-
old baby can be soothed by being picked up and will stop his crying momentarily
even though hunger or pain still persist.
• Next, proximity of the parent may become reinforced as the infant comes
to associate the mere presence of the socializing agent with drive reduction. This
may come at the point when the child actually recognizes the mother and
distinguishes her from other adults in his environment. Now the mother does not
have to pick the baby up; she merely has to enter the room to stop his flow of
tears, while leaving the room may be enough to induce crying or a fear reaction.
• Two other aspects of the parent that come to be rewarding to the child
are: paying attention and, verbal praise or approval.
• Actually these two represent a lessening of dependency; they come at a
time when independence is on the rise. As the child comes to do more and more
things by himself, he depends upon his parent not so much for help as for
attention to what he is doing, or for verbal praise and approval.
• A fifth aspect of the parent, the helping aspect, also comes when
independence is on the rise. As the word helping implies, the parent no longer
does everything for the child but now only “helps” when the child has begun a
task and has encountered difficulties in completing it. Thus the three-year-old
may be able to put on his own shoes but his mother helps by pointing out which
shoe goes on which foot and by tying the laces.
According to Stendler, dependency needs build up first and fast while independency
training begins later and proceeds at a much slower tempo. Nevertheless some six-
months-old babies hold their own bottles and are rewarded by being able to regulate
the intake of milk to their own liking. The nine-months-old baby may get satisfaction
from finger-feeding because his hunger drive can be more readily appeased in that
21
Stendler, C. B. Critical Periods in Socialisation. In Kuhlen, R. G. ; & Thompson, G. G. [Eds.]
Psychological Studies of Human Development. New York, USA, Appleton-Century-Crofts; 1963.
22
McGraw, M. B. Maturation of behaviour. In L. Carmichael (Ed.), Manual of Child Psychology.
[pp., 1068]; New York, USA, Wiley, 1946.
23
Beller, E. K. Dependence and independence in young children. Unpublished Ph.D.,
dissertation, State University of Iowa, 1948.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

fashion. And as the proud mother exclaims over the baby’s achievement he eventually
finds enough reward in her approval to want to repeat his independent behaviour.
Paradoxically, he learns to be independent because he has learned to be dependent
upon his mother for acceptance and approval. It is only when he is sufficiently
dependent to be pleased at parental approbation that he can make rapid strides in
independence. (Stendler, 1963)
Cultural paradigms are likely to influence both independence and dependence, and for
these he must be trained. The child’s independence cannot be along purely selfish
lines, he must accept the ways of his cultural society. The initial period of maternal
indulgence must end and child training begin. This tends to happen when parents
believe he is old enough to be dangerous to himself or destructive to his environment.
Thus the nine-month infant is protected, the fourteen-month toddler is restrained, the
eighteen-month infant must learn the simple niceties of behaviour, and the two-year-old
must learn to communicate his needs.
As one group of writers has put it:
It must learn to walk where it has formerly been carried; … it learns not to be picked up
when it has experienced some small disaster. It must give up much of the cuddling,
holding and petting which is the prerogative of the smallest darling. Childish
approximations of table manners and etiquette must be altered in favour of the customs
preferred by adults. The child must learn to wait for its food, to keep its face clean, to
submit to having its hair combed, and to eat in the regular stages designated by our table
techniques. At some time or another all of these lengthened sequences invoke
frustrations and elicit protest from the child. 24
However not all children arrive at a satisfactory dependency-independence ratio. Some
children become over-dependent, some too independent. In some parent-child
relationships the mother unwillingly accedes to the child’s excessive dependency
demands and because of her unwillingness, she is inconsistent in her treatment of the
child. (Stendler, 1963)
Sears, commenting on reinforcement theory, explained how this type of over-
dependency begins.25 In a study of ordinal position in the family as a psychological
variable, he found amongst other things that the oldest child in the family was more
likely to have experienced anxiety in the nursing and weaning situations, and at the
same time more nurturance at bedtime and more cautioning about sickness and danger
than second and later children. Older children were also rated as the more dependent.
Sears suggests that the anxiety produced in the nursing and weaning frustration would
serve as the facilitating instigator to whatever behaviour had been predominant in those
infant situations in which the anxiety was aroused. Thus, since dependency behaviour
is likely to be predominant at the time of nursing and weaning, anxiety produced in
nursing and weaning situations will strengthen the dependency needs.
In extending Sears’ hypothesis, Stendler suggests certain critical periods in the
socialization process for the formation of over-dependency. (Idem, 1963) These are the
periods when shifts in awareness of his position in relationship to the socializing agent
occur in the child. A child builds up a set of expectations with regard to how his
dependency needs are to be met. From time to time these expectations change as the
child matures in his perceptions and as his culture makes demands upon him. If there is
a disturbance during one of these times of change, of such a nature that the child must
quickly and radically change his expectations, anxiety will arise. The child will attempt
to resolve the anxiety by the method he has learned to resolve anxiety, i.e., demands
upon the mother for nurturance. In order to produce over-dependency, however, the
anxiety must occur not when one goal response is interfered with, but when whole sets
that seriously threaten dependency needs are disturbed.
Stendler identifies two other critical periods for the formation of over-dependency.
(Idem, 1963) The first critical period begins when the child begins to test out the
24
Dollard, J.; Doob; L. W.; Miller; N. E.; Mowrer; O.H.; & Sears, R. R. Frustration and
Aggression. [pp., 64-65]; New Haven, USA, Yale University Press; 1939.
25
Sears, R. R. Ordinal position in the family as a psychological variable. American Sociological
Review, 15, [pp., 397-401]; 1950.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

mother to see if he can depend upon her. For most children this occurs toward the end
of the first year of life. Earlier the infant has been learning to be dependent upon the
mother. Now he shows his sudden recognition of the importance of his mother by his
demands upon her and especially for his mother’s proximity. In effect, he tests out his
mother, to see if he really can depend upon her and to see if he can control her. He
cries when she leaves his presence and demands that she be in sight or readily
available when he needs help. Gesell et al., report that as early as 28 weeks the baby
“demands more of the one who feeds him”. 26 Bowlby (1950, pp., 122) 27 suggests that
the most critical time for the production of anxiety concerning the mother is after eight
months, “when the child’s first object relationship (to his mother) is developing in a
specific way.”
Unpleasant experiences involving separation from the care-taker are vitally important at
this time, when the child has become aware of his dependency upon the mother and is
testing his control of her. During this critical period it is necessary that the infant has
his dependency needs met in the manner to which he has become accustomed. As
Bowlby (idem) says,
Once a clearly differentiated relationship with the mother has developed at about nine
months, mothering from anyone will not do and it is imperative that the child has an
opportunity of forming a continuous affectional attachment to one person.
Should the care-taker be absent at this time for substantial periods of his waking hours,
anxiety will be aroused that the child will attempt to resolve by excessive demands
upon the mother when he does have her. His dependency drive will be strengthened by
the anxiety and over-dependency may result.
A second critical period for the formation of over-dependency comes during the two- to
three-year-old period. As Stendler has indicated, this is the time in our society when
demands upon the child to change his old ways of doing things increase tremendously.
Now the child must give up his control of his mother and come to accept his
dependence upon her, yet at the same time learn to be independent in culturally
approved ways. Again, anxiety arises because important goal responses are being
interfered with. In normal socialization the anxiety generated produces the right
amount of dependency. But where disturbances of a traumatic nature occur so that
important habits must be suddenly and drastically changed, so much anxiety may be
generated that over-dependency will result.
These critical periods are normally anxiety-producing for all children because they
involve interference with goal responses; disturbances that occur during one of these
periods and that arouse excessive anxiety may so strengthen the dependency drive that
over-dependency will result.
Stendler believes that the timing of disturbances that affect the dependency drive will
also be a factor in determining how other aspects of personality will be affected. (Idem,
1963) That is, the dependency drive is so related to other aspects of personality that a
disturbance during one of the critical periods will affect other aspects of personality and
that the effects will differ according to the timing of the disturbance. A disturbance
during the first critical period will have a different impact upon personality development
than will a disturbance during the second critical period. She compares these with the
disturbances of the pre-natal environment that are tremendously significant and the
timing of these disturbances is the crucial factor.
During the first eight or nine months of life the child is building up a set of expectations
with regard to how his needs will be met; he is learning dependency. Translated into
Erikson’s (1950) language, he is learning basic trust in another human being. He learns
to depend upon others, as we have pointed out, by having his physical needs met
consistently by one person. If he does not learn that he can depend upon others,
however, serious personality difficulties arise.

26
Gesell, A., & Ilg, F. L. Infant and Child in the Culture of Today. New York, USA, Harper
and Row, 1943.
27
Bowlby, J. In P. H. Hoch and J. Zuhin (Eds.), Anxiety. New York, USA, Grune and Stratton,
1950.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Bender has described children who have not had continuous affectionate care of one
person up to the age of nine months:

These children impress us with their diffusely impulsive unpatterned behaviour.

At all levels the behaviour is unorganized and remains unorganized. It is
exceedingly difficult to find any educational or psycho-therapeutic method
whereby it can be modified into organized or patterned behaviour. The child is
driven by inner impulses that demand immediate satisfaction; these impulses or
needs show the usual changes with physical and chronological growth of the
child, but even this does not add much pattern to the behaviour. Motivation,
discipline, punishment and insight therapy have little effect.
The behaviour
Freudian psychology has shown that in the course of
remains always
normal development the personality passes through a
infantile. It is true
series of rather well-defined stages until it reaches
that there are some
maturity. Each new step that is taken, however, entails
differences as to the
a certain amount of frustration and anxiety and if these
level of the infantile
become too great, normal growth may be temporarily or
fixation, but it is
permanently halted. In other words, the person may
always pre-oedipal
become fixated on one of the early stages of
and pre-super-ego.
development because taking the next step is fraught
It is as though a new-
with anxiety. The overly dependent child exemplifies
born infant had urgent
defence by fixation; anxiety prevents him from
needs that must be
learning how to become independent.
satisfied. Screaming,
kicking or temper PRE-OEDIPAL  A point in development, determined by
tantrums or disturbed Freud, before rivalry with the parent of the same sex
behaviour of which has been resolved through identification with this
the larger child is parent or before sexual feelings for the parent of the
capable, continue opposite sex has been transferred to a sexual partner
when frustration outside the family. [Jung believed that the essential
occurs, as it must a process is not the fixation of the complex, but its revival
good deal of the time. when a new adaptation is required.]
All kinds of oral
PRE-SUPEREGOThe super-ego is one of the three
activity, clinging,
components that Freud supposed made up the psychic
wetting, soiling,
structure. The other two being the id and the ego.
senseless motor
[See next box] The super-ego is manifested in
activity, genital
conscience, shame and guilt, and is the agency by
manipulation may be
which the influence of parents and others is prolonged.
observed. These are
Their judgements and prohibitions are internalized by
not neurotic traits and
the process of introjection [incorporating the qualities of
do not indicate
others into the self.] in early childhood before the child
regression but
is able to question them. Later it becomes the source of
retardation in
the evaluative regulation of actions and mental activity
personality
in addition to the controls of the ego.
development.
Psychopathic
behaviour-disordered
children are often attention-seeking, clinging, passively dependent, seductive
and amiable. This may be mistaken for an attachment or interpersonal
relationship. Actually, there is no warmth, and the relationship can stand no
separation or disappointments or demands; it shifts to the nearest new object as
soon as the recipient is out of sight. 28
These are children who have not learned dependency behaviour. There is perhaps
more concern over those children who have built up a set of expectations with regard to
how their dependency needs are to be met and then suddenly and radically have to

28
Bender, L. Anxiety in disturbed children. In Hoch, P. H. & Zubin, J. [Eds.] Anxiety. New York,
USA, Grune and Stratton, 1950.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

change them. As stated above Stendler29 has proposed that over-dependent children
who become so as a result of disturbance during the first critical period will differ from
over-dependent children who become so as a result of a disturbance during the second
critical period. The first group of children is more likely to be affected with regard to
ego-aspects of personality whereas the second group is more likely to be affected with
regard to super-ego-aspects of personality.
To make clear the reasoning behind this distinction we need to understand the different
nature of the frustration involved during the two critical periods. In discussing the
process of identification, Mowrer (1950) differentiates between two types of frustration.
He says:
It is true that in both developmental and defensive identification the subject is
“frustrated,” but the different nature of the frustration in the two instances is noteworthy.
In the one case it arises from a sense of helplessness and loneliness: the parent or parent-
person is absent, and the infant wishes he were present. In the other case, the frustration
arises from interference and punishment: the parent or parent-person is present, and the
infant wishes he were absent. But the latter wish brings the average child into intolerable
conflict: while he hates the parent for his disciplinary actions, he also loves the parent and
experiences acute anxiety at the prospect of his really being separated, physically or
emotionally, from him (or her).
Developmental identification EGO AND ID are differentiated through the influence of
is believed by Stendler to be the external world, to whose demands they adapt. This
a milder and simpler adaptation has to reconcile the forces if the id and the
experience than is defensive super-ego in such a way as to maximise the pleasure
identification, which has a and minimise the pain.
violent, crisis-like nature.
The one is powered mainly The id consists of everything psychological that is
by biologically given drives inherited and that is present at birth, including instincts
(“fear of loss of love,” in the (vide).It has been referred to as the reservoir of
analytic sense) and the other instinctual impulses. It is the power base for the
by socially inflicted operation of the other two systems. It cannot tolerate
discomforts (“castration fear” increases of energy that are experienced as
or, less dramatically, simply uncomfortable states of tension.
fear of punishment). The The ego evolves because of the needs of the subject to
first presumably involves reach out to the world of reality. Again a state of
relatively little conflict; but in tension will exist in this system if an object of need is
the latter case, conflict and out of reach or undiscovered. The tension is relieved by
attendant anxiety are the formulation of a plan, tested by some kind of action
outstanding. (Idem, 1963) to see if it will work, and then successfully completed.
The first type of frustration is The ego is said to be the executive of the personality
seen as occurring during the because it controls the gateways to action.
first critical period and, as a result, affecting the developmental or ego-aspects of
identification. The second type of frustration occurs during the second critical period
and as a result affects the defensive or super-ego aspects of identification.

Conclusions
29
Stendler C. B. Critical Periods in Socialization and Over-dependency. Child Development. 23;
[pp., 3-12]; 1952.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

Humans have developed senses and motor abilities in order that they can deal most
effectively, as adults, with the work and pleasure with which they engage themselves.
At the youngest age, a human uses these abilities increasingly as a means of protection
and survival. Indeed at the outset of life those are the main priorities. If the
development of these abilities is delayed or disturbed, not only will it interfere with the
innate demands of the child, but it will also bring about negative adaptation that may
well lead to emotional problems, and later, if not resolved, these may be the basis for
psycho-social behaviour. One thing that all children learn in order to survive is a
defence against anxiety. This can take various forms and can be either positive or
negative. Negative defences are destructive of personality.
There is a significant amount of evidence that most children, who do not suffer from an
organic handicap, and are in normal health, can develop to average ability or above if
the environment in which they grow up is sufficiently supportive to supply their
emotional and practical needs. Even those who start off in poor circumstances can
survive to reasonable normality if intervention is adequate and timely. Thus the needs
of children who are adopted, especially those who experience a change in cultural
environment, are of special consideration.
Indeed this now seems such a proven fact that the continued emergence of endogenous
handicap in children must be a dereliction of good government, when there are clear
avenues for suitable measures of abatement. Nor should these be a latter-day repair
service. All children are entitled to a good start; one that will prepare them for a quality
life as an adult.
Although the investigations on the apparent improvement of IQ scores of adopted
children who came from disadvantaged backgrounds have been criticised for
environmental weighting, they seem to support similar outcomes from those considered
in other aspects of comparable development. That said, most of them are 30 to 40
years old, and social circumstances have changed since those times.
In some respects there is cause for alarm, particularly as a result of the indicated
government policy (1996) of relaxing regulations about adoptions and the way that they
are arranged. As has been pointed out by the adoption agencies, the vast majority of
children, for whom adoptive homes are sought, are not babies but older children. Many
have already experienced a good deal of adversity in the form of rejection and misery.

In the past a high proportion of initial placements have not survived the trial period.
Any good home, where the child is wanted, is not necessarily the right home for an
individual child. For example, we have to be careful to tease out the aspects of nature
and nurture that are relevant to intelligence (from past and potential future) from those
that relate to inherited traits that might be associated with culture.
Ethology has shown us how our genes respond to centuries of development along a
purposeful path. To interrupt this by mis-matching child and family, through lack of
consideration of such factors as religion, ethnicity or age appropriateness, may not be in
the child’s emotional best interests. Removing a child from relative security to a
placement of uncertainty has proved to be a stony ground for many. Especial care
needs to be taken with potential adoptions of infants who will not have developed
particular traits, and who may take many years to show any inexactitudes of family
matching.
One of the important issues, perhaps the most important, is that of the effects of the
class structure on the well-being and the future, of the child. The aetiology of so many
potential problems are said to have been generated by the social class position. Yet this
does not need to be the case. We don’t have to live in a castle and be born with the
proverbial silver spoon in our mouths in order to become satisfactory members of our
society. What it does take though is a vast reduction of selfishness and class-
consciousness on both sides of the boundary. A selfishness, or worse an abrogation of


British Agencies for Adoption and Fostering, London.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

morality, that allows unwanted children to be born, and having been born to be denied
their rights and allowed to drift aimlessly through the rest of their lives.
From this abysmal situation and even from much lesser degrees of parental
wantonness, arises another potential dereliction, the inadequacy of language
acquisition. A need of every child, yet one that is so often abrogated until the child
eventually arrives at the quasi-oasis of school. Without the ability to use one’s
language in a meaningful and discerning way many doors remain closed. Yet given a
basic start by parents, who themselves do not have to be super-literate, the child will
delight in making his way, later to be encouraged at school.
If parents give their child enough attention and provide it with the right stimulation he
will be able to read well before the onset of state education. It is not good-enough
parenting to abrogate this potential advantage by leaving the understanding of words to
the age of five or beyond. From this understanding comes the ability to formulate ideas,
which in turn creates new interests and thus further mental stimulation and the
achievement of discovery. If a child has gained an interest in words, and has been
exposed to suitable reading material, he will almost teach himself to read. There is no
need for parents to worry about which method they should use to teach their children to
read. All they need to do is to provide a suitable environment and specific
encouragement, and be there to answer questions.
At least part of the obligations of parenthood, according to the theories discussed, are to
be aware of, and to know how to make the best use of, critical periods. There are two
important critical periods in the socialization process for the beginnings of over-
dependency. One of these may be toward the end of the child’s first year of life; the
other when his parents begin to increase their demands upon the child. Disturbances of
a serious nature during either of these periods may result in over-dependency. It is
suggested that positive regard be paid to these and their timing, or there is a grave risk
that any disturbance with regard to dependency needs may influence ego and super-
ego development in particular ways.
With the increasing number of one-parent families, children have to cope with two new
problems, the lack of an attendant father and sex-role identity. If the mother is
intelligent in her parenting and does not want to change her child’s natural instincts for
those of newly acquired ones, then all might be well. Otherwise single parents will have
to take responsibility for any unrealistic pretensions of ‘improvement’ to her child’s
status.
At times when more and more children seem to be attempting to outwit the law at an
age below that of legal responsibility, we are faced with a problem that is not being
satisfactorily answered. Indeed when it is found to be possible to deal with such
children, many end up being punished twice; once by the lack of an educated
conscience, and again by suffering from the lack of direction that might then lead them
into peer group complicity and subverted attachment — both of these arising from
abrogation of responsibility by parents. If parents were to be punished for the
misdemeanours of the under-age children, perhaps they might start to come to terms
with their responsibilities.
This responsibility, the assistance with the training of conscience and the acquisition of
the values of society, is one of the basic trusts that all parents carry. Children learn by
trial and error, if parents teach them inadequately, or not at all, then their direction in
life will be warped and its rewards will be small.
Parents have no control (in general terms) on what they pass to their children through
genetic inheritance. The environmental situation is entirely different, because basically
children inhabit the world of their parents. The children have no say in either, they do
not ask to be born, but if they are, they are in the hands of their parents for good or bad.
It is up to each and every person to ensure that their child has the best possible
outcome from its developmental years.

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 International Adoptions - Dependency & Socialisation Alan Challoner MA(Phil.) MChS ©

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For Want of a Better Good
Author: Alan Challoner MA(Phil) MChS
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