You don't want to hurt them, but you don't want to just be their 'yes' person all the

time. Being a good friend means being ready to tell

them the truth, even when it might hurt. Caring for someone does not mean you will never argue with them

flout

You Taught Me What It Was To Cry

Kisses
, Even
To The Air, Are Beautiful

--The Love We Have Is The Neverending Story

:+:Don't Waste Your Time On A Guy, Who Isn't Willing To Waste His Time On You

No Man Is Worth Your Tears. The One Who Is Won't Make You Cry

Always Remember Your Unique, Just Like Everyone Else

You Can't Always Get What You Want

^.^Something Happened To Me, It Was The Sweetest Thing That Ever Could Be, It Was A Fantasy, A Dream Come True..It was The Day I Met
You

I Wrote Your Name In The Sand But The Waves Washed It Away, Then I Worte It In The Sky But The Wind Blew It Away, So I Wrote It In
My Heart And There It'll Stay

If I Could Be One Thing In Life,

I Would Be A Tear; Born In Your Eyes,
Living On Your Cheeks, And
Dying On Your Lips
Don't Cry Over Someone Who Won't Cry Over You

Everyone Has A Weakness...You Just Happen To Be Mine

It's Hard To Stop Crying When The Only Person Who Can Make You Stop Is Making You Cry
You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because your all the same

**Should I smile, because your my friend, Or cry because that's all we'll ever be?**

Everyone falls in love once, but that's not true. Every time I hear your voice I fall in love all over again

:+: Love is when you don't want to go to sleep because reality is better than a dream

Sometimes in life you find a special friend, someone who changes your life just by being a part of it

Never start frowning because you never know who is falling in love with your smile

Nothing is more painful then realizing he meant everything to you and you meant nothing to him

: +: I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh, but I never knew that looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

You know your in love when the hardest thing to say is goodbye

When I look at you my heart skips 1 beat, but later on the beat could mean a life time of tears wasted on something I knew I could never had

Sometimes your mind doesn't want you to be in love...but deep down, you know you are. :*(

I smile because I have no idea what's going on.. :

A girl and a guy can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall for each other...maybe temporaily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe
too late, or maybe forever

You will wonder where he is at night, you will wonder if he's true. One moment you will be happy, one moment you will be blue.**

a broken heart continies to beat...*

You got no reason to be jealous, I've never been untrue...so what's it matter if there looking, i'm only looking at YOU

Loving might be a mistake, but it's worth talking

I'm doin' real good, I don't miss you now, see how life twists around

{} As a part of you has gronw in me, together forever shall we be; never apart, maybe in distance, but not in heart {}

(( If you had to
chose between
the world and me,
what would you
chose? If you
choose the world,
you would lose
me, if you choose
me, I'll give you
the world

[] Roses are red, violets are blue, are you happy with me, cuz I know i'm happy with you

Rose are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet but nothing compared to you
When we broke up, you thought I cried, but I didn't; I was with another guy

**It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someome, a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

Loves a Sensation caused by Temptation; a guy sticks his Loctaion in a girls Destination to increase the population of the nest Generation. Do
you understand my Explanation? Or do you need a Demonstration
:+: The first time I saw you, I knew it was true, that I'd love you forever and that's what I'll do..you don't know what you do tome, you don't have a
clue, you don't know what it is like to be me looking at you..:+:

Q. Why do men want to marry virgins?

A. They can't stand criticism.

Q. Why are men and parking spaces alike?

A. Because all the good ones are gone and the only ones left are disabled.

Q. What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

A. Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q. What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A. 1. No mind. 2. No business.

Q. Why do men name their penises?

A. Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q. What is a man's view of safe sex?

A. A padded headboard.

Q. How do men sort their laundry?

A. "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".

1. If you think the way to a man's heart is through his stomach you're aiming too high.

2. Woman don't make fools of men-most of them are the do-it-yourself types .

3. The best reason to divorce a man is a health reason: you're sick of him .

4. Never trust a man who says he's the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

5. A woman's work that is never done is the stuff she asked her husband to do.

6. If you want a nice man go for a bald one-they try harder.

7. Go for younger men. You might as well-they never mature anyway.

8. A man who can dress himself without looking like Wurzel Gummidge is unquestionably gay.

9. Men are all the same-they just have different faces so you can tell them apart.

10. Definition of a man with manners-he gets out of the bath to pee.

11. Whenever you meet a man who would make a good husband, you will usually find that he already is.
12. Scientists have just discovered something that can do the work of five men .......... a woman.

13. There are a lot of words you can use to describe men
- strong, caring, loving -
they'd be wrong but you could still use them.

14. Men are like animals-messy, insensitive and potentially violent-but they make great pets.

15. Men's brains are like the prison system-not enough cells per man.

16. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - "don't" and "stop".

17. Husbands are like children-they're fine if they're someone else's.

Men are like department stores.... their clothes should always be half off.

Men are like vacations.... they never seem to be long enough.

Men are like computers... hard to figure out and never have enough memory.

Men are like coolers... load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.

Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.

Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.

Men are like horoscopes.... they always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like plungers... they spend most of their lives in a hard ware store or the bathroom.

Men are like cement.... after getting laid, they take a long time to get hard.

How can you tell soap operas are fictional?

In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
WHAT SHOULD YOU GIVE A MAN WHO HAS EVERYTHING?
A WOMAN TO SHOW HIM HOW TO WORK IT

WHY DON'T MEN HAVE MID-LIFE CRISES?

THEY STAY STUCK IN ADOLESCENCE

HOW IS BEING AT THE SINGLES BAR DIFFERENT FROM GOING TO THE CIRCUS?

AT THE CIRCUS THE CLOWNS DON'T TALK

WHAT MAKES MEN CHASE WOMEN THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF MARRYING?

THE SAME URGE THAT MAKES DOGS CHASE CARS THEY HAVE NO INTENTION OF DRIVING

WHY DO BACHELORS LIKE SMART WOMEN?

OPPOSITES ATTRACT

WHY ARE HUSBANDS LIKE LAWN MOWERS? THEY'RE HARD TO GET STARTED, EMIT FOUL ODORS, AND DON'T WORK HALF
THE TIME

WHY DO MEN FIND IT DIFFICULT TO MAKE EYE CONTACT? BREASTS DON'T HAVE EYES
HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHT BULB?
ONE.....MEN WILL SCREW ANYTHING

Why are blond jokes so short? So men can remember them

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. -- G. Randolf

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. -- Belgicia Howell

The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. -- Benjamin Disraeli

Friendships begin with liking or gratitude roots that can be pulled up. -- George Eliot

What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank Crane

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings

Then come the wild weather, come sleet or come snow, we will stand by each other, however it blow. -- Simon Dach

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. -- Charles Darwin

Our kind of friendship is like love without wings!

Posters

Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends. -- Jacques Delille

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank Crane

Best friend, my well-spring in the wilderness! -- George Eliot

Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather
now instead. -- Anna Cummins

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

Never exaggerate your faults, your friends will attend to that. -- Robert C. Edwards

A friend is someone you can be alone with and have nothing to do and not be able to think of anything to say and be
comfortable in the silence. -- Sheryl Condie

I need you too know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I cry, if you laugh..if you jump out the window I look down
then....I laugh again :-)

But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. -- Mohammed Ali

A good motto is: Use friendliness but do not use your friends. -- Frank Crane

Have no friends not equal to yourself. -- Confucius

Gardening Proverbs

A garden is a work of art in progress.

April Showers bring May Flowers

He that plants a tree plants for posterity.

Gardens, like money in the bank, accumulate interest as they grow

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence.

The early bird catches the worm.

The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

Can't see the forest for the trees

From tiny acorns mighty oaks grow.

Friends are flowers than never fade.

As the garden grows so does the gardener.

If you would be happy all your life, plant a garden.

One who plants a garden, plants happiness.

A good garden is like a good book - you always enjoy starting it again.

One who that plants a tree plants for posterity.

A beautiful garden is a work of heart.

A society is great when old men plant trees in whose shade they know they shall never sit. -- Greek Proverb

A hedge between keeps friendship green. -- French Proverb

He that plants thorns must never expect to gather roses.

A drink precedes a story.

A friend's eye is a good mirror.

A hen is heavy when carried far.

A hound's food is in its legs.

A lock is better than suspicion.

A silent mouth is melodious.

A trade not properly learned is an enemy.

Age is honorable and youth is noble.

As the big hound is, so will the pup be.

Be neither intimate nor distant with the clergy.

Both your friend and your enemy think you will never die.

Even a small thorn causes festering.

Good as drink is, it ends in thirst.

He who comes with a story to you brings two away from you.

He who gets a name for early rising can stay in bed until midday.

If you do not sow in the spring you will not reap in the autumn.

If you want to be criticized, marry.

Instinct is stronger than upbringing.

It is a bad hen that does not scratch herself.

May the road rise to meet you,

May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again, May God hold you in the palm of His hand.
Irish Blessing
"To try is to risk failure.........not to try is to guarantee it"

"Many of us spend half our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing."

"Every one can master a grief but he that has it."

"We must not waste life in devising means. It is better to plan less and do more."

"newly weds just a year ago, still checkin' each other out" - Sly Stone (Family Affair)

"It's all good" - Brian Carrol

"If something is hard to do its not worth doing!" - Homer Simpson

"Why waste time worring when you can spend it dossin' !" - jeanbean

"I'd love another beer" - Tristan at closing time

"Dream as if you will live forever, live as if you will die today" - James Dean

"Better out than a mans eye " - Tommy Harte Snr

"Dont dare look at the twistey eye" - Alex Gibbons

"A watched file never downloads" - Me

"The thinking is easy, the doing is the hard bit" - Me

"Cause we got the bombs" - Denis Leary

"I'd eat a yard of her shite to get a lick of her arse" - Micheal Adams

"I wouldn't use her to wipe shite off a tire" - John Duggan

"He fucked the head off him" - Shanleys cousins

"A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets." -
Homer

"A woman is like a beer. They look good, they smell good, and you'd step over your own mother just to get one!" -
Homer

"It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a
day." - Homer

"Stuff and stuff" - Andy Donald

"Ski on ya" - Andy Donald

"He made pure shit of that shitey stick" - Anonomus

"Duffman is trusting in the direction of the problem!" - Duffman

"You can tell alot about a man by the filling in his sangwidge" - Brian Shanley

"You gotta be shittin' me" - Some random American in Boston

"If I had ignored their pleas to move over for Michael in the 1999 French Grand Prix so he could gain an extra
point I would have been sacked. The fact Schuey later broke his leg and my actions in France ultimately cost me
the title is immaterial.” - Eddie Irvine
"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol." - Anonymous

"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." - Henny Youngman

"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also
a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." - Dave Barry

"You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on." - Dean Martin

"If I had all the money I've spent on booze.................. I'd spend it on booze" - E. Hemingwayspend

"Describing your own music is like describing your own eye brows, you can't see them"

"There couldn't be a society of people who didn't dream. They'd be dead in two weeks."

Marcel Proust
"If a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is
not to dream less, but to dream more, to dream all
the time."
Eugène Ionesco
"I am not quite sure whether I am dreaming or remembering,
whether I have lived my life or dreamed it. Just as dreams do,
memory makes me profoundly aware of the unreality, the
evanescence of the world, a fleeting image in the moving water."

Tennessee Williams
"You said 'They're harmless dreamers and they're loved by
the people.' 'What,' I asked you, 'is harmless about a
dreamer, and what' I asked you, 'is harmless about the
love of the people? Revolution only needs good dreamers
who remember their dreams.'"

Camilla Sacci
"A man is what he does in his
dreams."

J. August Strindberg
"I dream, therefore I
exist."

Jerry Langford
"I've dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they've gone through
and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind. By now I can say they were an
absolute waste of time."
Chuang-tzu
"Once upon a time, I, Chuang-tzu, dreamt I was a butterfly,
flittering hither and thither, to all intents and purposes a
butterfly... suddenly I awoke... Now I do not know whether I was
then a man dreaming I a butterfly, or whether I am now a
butterfly dreaming I am a man."

Franz Kafka
"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a
monstrous vermin. He was lying on his back as hard as armor plate, and when he lifted his head a little, he saw
his vaulted brown belly, sectioned by arch-shaped ribs, to whose dome the cover, about to slide off completely,
could barely cling. His many legs pitifully thin compared the size of the rest of him, were waving helplessly before
his eyes. "What's happened to me?" he thought. IT WAS NO DREAM."

Genevieve Bouris
"Some say dreams are poetry. Some say that
dreaming is an art. But we all dream and we aren't
all artists. I say dreams are the eyes of our mind.
These eyes start to see when we switch off the light
before we go to sleep. A time of trial and
retribution. If only we could reconcile ourselves with
our dreams, then maybe, maybe this world would
become a better place to live in."

Heraclitus
"Even sleepers are
workers and
collaborators in what
goes on in the universe."
Leonardo da Vinci
"Why does the eye see a
thing more clearly in
dreams than the
imagination when awake?"

S.W. Clemm
"If dreams are so important, then
why do I wake up all the time?"

Man Ray
"It has never been my object to record
my dreams, just the determination to
realize them."

Henry David Thoreau

"Love is an attempt to
change a piece of a
dream-world into
reality."

'Sigmund' Masowitz
"Hate is an attempt to
change a piece of a
dream-world into
reality."

Carlos Castenada
"What dreaming does is give us the fluidity to enter into other worlds by destroying our sense of knowing this
world...Dreaming is a journey of unthinkable dimensions, a journey that, making us perceive everything we can
humanly perceive,makes the assemblage point jump outside the human domain and perceive the inconceivable."

Arthur Miller
"I dreamed I had a child, and even in the dream I saw it was my life, and
it was an idiot, and I ran away. But it always crept on to my lap again,
clutched at my clothes. Until I thought, if I could kiss it, whatever in it is
my own, perhaps I could sleep. And I bent to its broken face, and it was
horrible....but I kissed it. I think one must finally take one's life in one's
arms."

Lyndon B.
Johnson
"Learn from your
dreams what you
lack."

Yiddish proverb
"The dream is a fool
and sleep is the
master"

Bob Dylan
"I am against nature. I don't dig
nature at all. I think nature is very
unnatural. I think the truly natural
things are dreams, which nature can't
touch with decay."

Lord Byron
"Sleep hath it's own world, - And a wide
realm of wild reality. - And dreams in
their development have breath, - And
tears, and tortures, and the touch of
joy."

George Bernard Shaw

"You see things and you say
'Why?'. But I dream things
that never were, and I say
'Why Not?'"

Rene Magritte
"If the dream is a translation of
waking life, waking life is also a
translation of the dream."

Luis Bunuel
"If someone were to tell me I had twenty years left, and ask me how I'd like to spend them, I'd reply
'Give me two hours a day of activity, and I'll take the other twenty-two in dreams.'"
Joseph Conrad
"A man that is born falls into a dream like a man
who falls into the sea. If he tries to climb out into
the air as inexperienced people endeavor to do,
he drowns."

Lord Alfred Tennyson

"Maybe the wildest
dreams are but the
needful preludes of the
truth."

D.H. Lawrence
"I can never decide whether my
dreams are the result of my
thoughts, or my thoughts the
result of my dreams."

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special

person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

To keep your marriage brimming,

With love in the wedding cup,
 Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.

A successful wedding requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

If every marriage failed except one, I guarantee you that one would be ours.
-Boy Meets World

One good husband is worth two good wives; for the scarcer things are, the more they are valued.

Marriage is the sole cause of divorce.

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me

It's true that all men are born free and equal - but some of them get married

My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.
Alice Roosevelt

A marriage is like a salad: the man has to know how to keep his tomatoes on the top.

If marriage is all you want, then you've found the right man.

Marriage is a romance in which the heroine dies in the first chapter.

Everything about a relationship changes when you're thinking about marriage

Grow old along with me! The best is yet to be.

Robert Browning
 Ben: How *dare* you say that, our marriage is based on many lies.
Ben: Isn't that what marriage is supposed to be about?
-The Lost Weekend

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.

You won't marry me. Who could blame you? I am, without a doubt, the worst candidate for marriage alive. But, conversely, that's also
the reason that I'm the best candidate.

If this marriage is going to break up our friendship, I'd rather be deported!

They say love's a disease and marriage the cure for

All I know is that any marriage where the female is allowed to speak and wear clothing is doomed to failure.

Never mix wedding with gambling. Percentage is all against it.

Did you hear the one about the girl who married a TV aerial... the wedding was rubbish but the reception was great!

I remember my wedding. I never thought I could be that happy. Then I got divorced and I never thought I could be THAT happy!

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. Lord Byron

There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster

than electronic banking. It's called marriage
Be not afraid of going slowly; be afraid only of standing still.

A diamond with a flaw is worth more than a pebble without imperfections.

I was angered, for I had no shoes. Then I met a man who had no feet.

He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.

Blessings do not come in pairs; misfortunes never come singly.

Give a man a fish, and you feed him a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime.

It is not the knowing that is difficult, but the doing.

A bad word whispered will echo a hundred miles.

The wise adapt themselves to circumstances, as water moulds itself to the pitcher.

The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.

Talk does not cook rice.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose.

Small men think they are small; great men never know they are great.

To know the road ahead, ask those coming back.

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.

A man without a smiling face must not open shop.

Experience is a comb which nature gives us when we are bald.

Only he that has traveled the road knows where the holes are deep.

Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.

A hyena cannot smell its own stench.

However long the night, the dawn will break.

Public before private and country before family.

If you stand straight, do not fear a crooked shadow.

A silent mouth is sweet to hear.

Justice delayed is justice denied.

One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.

Teachers open the door but you must walk through it yourself.

No wind, no waves.

Talk doesn't cook rice.

Fools build houses and wise men live in them.

He who is everywhere is nowhere.

Anger is the one thing made better by delay.

Tears for somebody else's troubles dry quickly.

A liar better have a good memory.

Anything we haven't seen before is marvelous.

Hard words break no bones.

He who wills the end, wills the means.

When a man says he did you a favor, he is asking for one.

If every man would sweep his own door-step the city would soon be clean.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.

It is easier to fight for principles than to live up to them.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.

I can resist everything except temptation.

It's a great satisfaction knowing that for a brief point in time you made a difference.

The fellow who never makes a mistake takes his orders from one who does.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen.

If you are willing to admit faults, you have one less fault to admit.

Never insult an alligator until after you have crossed the river.

There are three faithful friends an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they
are both disappointed.

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
Technology is a way of organizing the universe so that man doesn't have to experience it.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Parents can tell but never teach, unless they practice what they preach.

Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

You cannot get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.

Do as I say, not as I do.

Better to be envied than pitied.

Don't put all your eggs in one basket.

All things come to those who wait.

A bad excuse is better than none.

Children and fools tell the truth.

After dinner rest awhile, after supper walk a mile.

A barking dog never bites.

A cat in gloves catches no mice.

Desperate diseases must have desperate remedies.

A friend in need is a friend indeed.

As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.

Some men go through a forest and see no firewood.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

Many a true word is spoken in jest.

Advice when most needed is least heeded.

Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me.

A man is as old as he feels himself to be.

Many things are lost for want of asking.

A man may lead a horse to water, but cannot make him drink.

A chick that will grow into a cock can be spotted the very day it hatches.

A child's fingers are not scalded by a piece of hot yam which his mother puts into his palm.

An old woman is always uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb.

A man who pays respect to the great paves the way for his own greatness.

A proud heart can survive a general failure because such a failure does not prick its pride.

As the dog said, 'If I fall down for you and you fall down for me, it is playing.'

A wise man who knows proverbs, reconciles difficulties. (Yoruba)

Do not look where you fell, but where you slipped.

If a child washes his hands he could eat with kings.

If you don't stand for something, you will fall for something.

It takes a whole village to raise a child

Looking at a king's mouth one would never think he sucked his mother's breast.
People should not talk while they are eating or pepper may go down the wrong way.

The lizard that jumped from the high iroko tree to the ground said he would praise himself if no one else did.

The mouth which eats does not talk.

The sun will shine on those who stand before it shines on those who kneel under them.

Those whose palm-kernels were cracked for them by a benevolent spirit should not forget to be humble.

When a man says yes, his chi (personal god) says yes also.

When the moon is shining the cripple becomes hungry for a walk.

You can tell a ripe corn by its look.

You must judge a man by the work of his hands.

Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's
called falling in love, because you don't force
yourself to fall, you just fall.

Lucky is the man who is the first love of a woman,

but luckier is the woman who is the last love of a man.

It takes a minute to have a crush on someone,

an hour to like someone, and an day to love someone...
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

It breaks your heart to see the one you love is happy

with someone else, but it's more painful to know that
the one you love is unhappy with you.

If love is the answer,

can you please repeat the question?

Faith makes all things possible.

Love makes them easy.
I believe that to truly Love, is the ultimate
expression of the will to live. A heart that
truly loves is forever young.

Love makes life so confusing, but without love

would you really want to live?

Do you love me because I am beautiful

or am I beautiful because I am loved?

Love me now, love me never,

but if you love me, love me forever.

Three things of life that are most valuable -

Love, self-confidence & friends.

To the world you may be just one person,

but to one person you may be the world.

Love is like heaven, but it can hurt like hell.

Who do you turn to when the only person

in the world that can stop you from crying,
is exactly the one making you cry?

He taught me how to love,

but not how to stop.

Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal

We come to love not by finding a perfect person,

but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly
Many a young lady does not realize just how strong
her love for a young man is until he fails to pass
the approval test with her parents.

Is it better for a woman to marry a man who loves her

than a man she loves.

Give her two red roses, each with a note. The first note says 'For the woman I love' and the second, 'For my best friend.'

A good marriage is like a casserole,

only those responsible for it really
know what goes in it.

No one is perfect until you fall in love with them

Love, true love, is that which can give the most

without asking or demanding anything in return

Love cures people -- both the ones who give it

and the ones who receive it

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life:

That word is love

It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship

and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual
affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it
will not be created for years or even generations

When they asked me what I loved most about life,

I smiled and said you

Just because you know someone doesn't mean you love them,
and just because you don't know people doesn't mean you can't
love them. You can fall in love with a complete stranger in a
heartbeat, if God planned that route for you. So open your heart
to strangers more often. You never know when God will throw
that pass at you.
Love... What is love? Love is to love someone
for who they are, who they were, and who they will be

Love is like a river, always changing,

but always finding you again somewhere
down the road

Love is a language spoken by everyone,

but understood only by a heart

Maybe God put a few bad people in your life,

so when the right one came along you'd be thankful

Love the heart that hurts you,

But never hurt the heart that loves you

Love me for a reason,

let the reason be love

It doesn't take a reason to love someone,

but it does to like someone. You don't love
someone because you want to, you love someone
because you are destined too. It's because you
fall in Love with them, that you then try to
find a reason, but you always come up with
the answer, No reason!

Love is the beginning of all the joy

which nature has store for us

Never say goodbye when you still want to try.

Never give up when you still feel you can take it.
Never say you don't love a person when you can't let go

Men are like coffee.... the best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long

Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget. -- G. Randolf

Never explain yourself. Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it. -- Belgicia Howell
The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own. -- Benjamin Disraeli

Friendships begin with liking or gratitude roots that can be pulled up. -- George Eliot

What is a friend? I will tell you it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank Crane

A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway. -- Fr. Jerome Cummings

Then come the wild weather, come sleet or come snow, we will stand by each other, however it blow. -- Simon Dach

A man's friendships are one of the best measures of his worth. -- Charles Darwin

Our kind of friendship is like love without wings

Fate chooses our relatives, we choose our friends. -- Jacques Delille

A friend is someone with whom you dare to be yourself. -- Frank Crane

Best friend, my well-spring in the wilderness! -- George Eliot

Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead. Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather
now instead. -- Anna Cummins

A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out. Friendship is one mind in two bodies.

Never exaggerate your faults, your friends will attend to that. -- Robert C. Edwards

A friend is someone you can be alone with and have nothing to do and not be able to think of anything to say and be
comfortable in the silence. -- Sheryl Condie

I need you too know our friendship means a lot - If you cry then I cry, if you laugh..if you jump out the window I look down
then....I laugh again :-)

But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship, you really haven't learned anything. -- Mohammed Ali

A good motto is: Use friendliness but do not use your friends. -- Frank Crane

Have no friends not equal to yourself. -- Confucius

I'm scared to fall in love, scared to fall fast, because every time I fall in love... it never seems to last.

I'm so sad when you're gone. Come back soon. Miss you!

In my dreams and in our love for 1 another there are no impossibilities.

Love is like quicksand - the deeper you fall in it the harder it is to get out.

You're just my cup of tea.

Love is like the truth, sometimes it prevails, sometimes it hurts.

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do.

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of my control.

My girlfriend told me, I should be more Affectionate, so i got two Girlfriends.

My heart is breaking since you went away

My love belongs to you.

My love is ever in your service.

One good thing about internet dating: you're guaranteed to click with whomever you meet.

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.

To feel love gives pleasure to one; to express it gives pleasure to two.

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending.

Trust, Love & Keep Moving (Growing)

We are, each of us angels with only one wing; and we can only fly by embracing one another.

We must love one another or die

When you left, I stopped smiling

Where ever I go, whatever I do, I carry a little part of you with me right here in the center of me heart.

Who cares whether this is a poem or rhyme, I will love you until the end of time...

With love and patience, nothing is impossible.

You gotta learn to laugh, it's the way to true love.

You need Money to call someone Honey.

You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back.

You touched my heart and changed my life for the better.

You're the icing on my cake. What's that? Chocolate, of course...

You're the laughter in my life.

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.

Your love's better than a cold beer on a warm day. Almost...OK then, definitely!

Your love's better than a home run with the bases loaded.

Your love's better than chocolate

Spanish Proverbs

Once you build a bad/good reputation it stays forever.

One that portrays to be good and his intention are bad.

A tree that grows crooked will never straighten its trunk.

Tell me who you hang out with and I'll tell you who you are.

One that does bad will pay before he/she dies the same way.
[He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.]

Don't postpone until tomorrow what you can do today.

What the eyes do not see the heart does not feel.
[Out of sight, out of mind.]

Flattery makes friends and truth makes enemies.

Life without a friend is death without a witness.

Three Spaniards, four opinions.

Time and I against any two.

The treason pleases, but the traitors are odious.

Water for oxen, wine for kings.

At the end of the game we shall see who gains.

By the tree the fruit is known.

Not everything that shines is gold.

Four eyes see more than two.

From such wood, such splinter

Traditional Japanese Proverbs and Sayings

It is foolish to deal with a fool.

One cannot quarrel without an opponent.

Rained on ground hardens (Adversity builds character).

Talk about things of tomorrow and the mice inside the ceiling laugh (Nobody knows what tomorrow might bring).

If you make a mistake, don't hesitate to correct it.

Due to the presence of fools wise people stand out.

The more stupid the child the dearer it is.

A samurai, even when he has not eaten, uses his toothpick.

A wise man does not lose his way, a brave man does not fear.

To gamble as the dice fall.

If eating poison finish up the plate (or, If eating poison don't forget to lick the plate)..

To draw water into one's own rice field

Feed a dog for three days and it is gratefull for three years. Feed a cat for three years and it forgets after three days.

With the first glass a man drinks wine, with the second glass the wine drinks the wine, with the third glass the wine drinks the
man.

Good things, many devils.

Time flies like an arrow.

The country is in ruins, and there are still mountains and rivers.

Repentance never comes first.

The eyes speak as much as the mouth.(love needs no words)

The eyes are the mirror of the soul.

Heart rather than appearance.

All good things come to those who wait.

BUT
Time and tide wait for no man.

The pen is mightier than the sword.

BUT
Actions speak louder than words.

Wise men think alike.

BUT
Fools seldom differ.
 The best things in life are free .
BUT
There's no such thing as a free lunch .

Slow and steady wins the race .

BUT
Time waits for no man .

Look before you leap .

BUT
Strike while the iron is hot .

Do it well, or not at all.

BUT
Half a loaf is better than none.

Birds of a feather flock together.

BUT
Opposites attract.

Don't cross your bridges before you come to them.

BUT
Forewarned is forearmed.

Doubt is the beginning of wisdom.

BUT
Faith will move mountains.
 Great starts make great finishes.
BUT
It ain't over 'till it's over.

Practice makes perfect.

BUT
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Silence is golden.
BUT
The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

You're never too old to learn.

BUT
You can't teach an old dog new tricks.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

BUT
One man's meat is another man's poison.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

BUT
Out of sight, out of mind.

Too many cooks spoil the broth.

BUT
Many hands make light work.
 Hold fast to the words of your ancestors.
BUT
Wise men make proverbs and fools repeat them

Men Vs Women

Women have many faults

Men only have 2
Everything they say
And everything they do

RELATIONSHIPS: First, a man does not call a relationship a relationship - he refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie
were boinking on a semi-regular basis."

When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girlfriends, and she will write a poem titled "All Men
Are Idiots." Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the breakup at 3 am early on a Sunday morning - he will call and
say "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you're a total floozy. But I
want you to know there's always a chance for us." This is known as the "I Hate You/I Love You" drunken phone call, that 99%
of all men have made at least once. There are community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas these
classes rarely prove effective.

SEX: Women prefer 30-45 minutes of foreplay.

Men prefer 30-45 seconds of foreplay. Men consider driving back to her place as part of the foreplay.

MATURITY: Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults.

Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school
romances rarely work out.

COMEDY: Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching tele- vision, and an episode of "The Three
Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited - they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the
actions of Curly, man's favorite Stooge.
The women will roll their eys, groan, and wait it out.

HANDWRITING: To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in
their "p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at
the end of the note.

BATHROOMS: A man has at most seven items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, shampoo, a
bar of soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

MAGAZINES: Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women.

Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body is a beautiful work of art, while the
male body is hairy and lumpy and should not be seen by the light of day.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

A man waits until the only items left in his fridge are half of a lemon, and something turning green. Then he goes grocery
shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the
Clampett's car on The Beverley Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

GOING OUT: When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.

When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means that she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring,
finishes putting on her makeup...

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry
her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she
will kick them off because her feet are under her desk.

A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.

CATS: Women love cats.

Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

MIRRORS: Men are vain; they will check themselves out in the mirror.
Women are ridiculous; they will check out their reflections in any shiny surface - mirrors, spoons, store windows, toasters, Joe
Garagiola's head...

GARAGES: Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers.

Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages, and they build useless
wooden things in garages.

MOVIES: For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivien Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The
Wind."

For men, it's when Jimmy Cagney shoves a grapefruit in Mae Clark's face in "Public Enemy."

JEWELRY: Women look nice when they wear jewelry.

A man can get away with wearing one ring, and that's it. Any more than that, and he will look like a lounge singer named Vic.

MENOPAUSE: When a woman reaches menopause, she goes through a variety of complicated emotional, psychological, and
biological changes. The nature and degree of the changes varies with the individual.

Menopause in a man provokes a uniform reaction. He buys aviator glasses, a snazzy French cap, leather driving gloves, and
goes shopping for an expensive foreign sports car.

THE TELEPHONE: Men see the telephone as a communications tool. They use the telephone to send short messages to other
people.

A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for
three hours.

LOW BLOWS: Let's say a man and a woman are watching a boxing match on television, and one of the fighters is felled by a
low blow.

The woman says, "Oh, gee, that must hurt."

The man doubles over and actually feels the pain.

DIRECTIONS: If a woman is out driving and she finds herself in unfamiliar surroundings, she will stop at a gas station and ask
for directions.

Men consider this to be a sign of weakness. A man will never stop and ask for directions. Men will drive in a circle for hours, all
the while saying things like, "Looks like I've found a new way to get there," and, "I know I'm in the neighborhood. I recognize
that White Hen store."

ADMITTING MISTAKES: Women will sometimes admit making a mistake.

The last man who admitted that he was wrong was General George Custer.

RICHARD GERE: Women like Richard Gere because he is sexy in a dangerous way.

Men hate Richard Gere because he reminds them of that slick guy who works out at the health club and dates only married
women.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book,
get the mail...

A man will dress up for: weddings and funerals.

NUDITY IN MOVIES: Every actress in the history of movies has had to do a nude scene. This is because every movie in the
history of movies has been produced by men.

The only actor who has ever appeard nude in the movies is Richard Gere. This is another reason why men hate him.

DAVID LETTERMAN: Men think David Letterman is the funniest man on the face of the earth.

Women think he is a mean, semi-dorky guy who always has a bad haircut.

CAMERAS: Men take photography very seriously. They'll shell out $4000 for state- of-the-art equipment, and build darkrooms,
and take photography classes.

Women purchase Kodak Insta-matics, and often produce better-looking shots.

POLITICS: Men love to talk about politics, but they often forget to do political things such as voting.

Women are very happy that another generation of Kennedys are growing up and getting into politics, because they will be able
to campaign for them and cry on election night.

LOCKER ROOMS: In the locker room, men talk about three things: money, football, and women. They exaggerate about
money, they don't know football nearly as well as they think they do, and they fabricate stories about women.

Women talk about one thing in the locker room - sex. Not in abstract terms, either. They're graphic and technical, and they
*never* lie.
LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days.

A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he
will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his
mountain of clothes to the laundromat, and expect to meet a beautiful woman while he is there.

WEDDINGS: When reminiscing about weddings, women talk about the "ceremony."

Men talk about "the bachelor party."

GYM SOCKS: Men wear sensible socks. They wear standard white sweatsocks.

Women wear strange socks. They are cut way below the ankles, have pictures of clouds on them, and have a big fuzzy ball on
the back.

TOYS: Little girls love to play with toys. Then, when they reach the age of 11 or 12, they lose interest.

Men never grow out of their obsession with toys. As they get older, their toys simply become more expensive and impractical.
Examples of mens toys: miniature TV's, car phones, complicated juicers and blenders, graphic equalizers, small robots that
serve cocktails on command, video games, and anything that blinks, beeps and requires at least six "D" batteries to operate.

PLANTS: A woman will ask a man to water her plants while she is on vacation.
The man will water the plants.
The woman returns five days later, to an apartment full of dead plants.
No one knows why this happens.

NICKNAMES: With the exception of female body-builders, who call each other names like "Ultimate Pecs" and "Big Turk,"
women eschew the use of nicknames. If Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle get together for lunch, they will call each other
Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle.

But if Mike, Dave, and Jack go out for a brewski, they will affectionately refer to each other as Peckerhead, Scumbag, and
Louse.

There are five things that women should never, ever ask a guy, according to an article in last April's issue of Sassy magazine.

The five questions are:

1 - "What are you thinking?"
2 - "Do you love me?"
3 - "Do I look fat?"
4 - "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 - "What would you do if I died?"

What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the
man does not answer properly, which is to say dishonestly. For example:
1 - "What are you thinking?"

The proper answer to this question, of course is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm,
wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you." Obviously, this
statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of five
things:
a - Baseball
b - Football
c - How fat you are
d - How much prettier she is than you
e - How he would spend the insurance money if you died

According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was
asked it by his wife, Peg. "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking instead of thinking."

The other questions also have only one right answer but many wrong answers:
2 - "Do you love me?"

The correct answer to this question is, "Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you may answer, "Yes,
dear." Wrong answers include:
a - I suppose so.
b - Would it make you feel better if I said yes?
c - That depends on what you mean by "love".
d - Does it matter?
e - Who, me?

3 - "Do I look fat?"

The correct male response to this question is to quickly, confidently, and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then
quickly leave the room. Wrong answers include:
a - I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b - Compared to what?
c - A little extra weight looks good on you.
d - I've seen fatter.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy
4 - "Do you think she's prettier than me?"

The "she" in the question could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were staring at so hard that you almost caused a traffic
accident or an actress in a movie you just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much prettier." Wrong
answers include:
a - Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b - I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c - Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d - Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e - Could you repeat the question? I was thinking about your insurance policy.

5 - "What would you do if I died?"

Correct answer: "Dearest love, in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have meaning for me and I would
perforce hurl myself under the front tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way." This might be the stupidest
question of the lot, as is illustrated by the following stupid exchange:
"Dear," said the wife. "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband. "Why do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?" persevered the wife.
"No, of course not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would." replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly. "And would you let her wear my old clothes?
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily. "And would you take down the pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes. I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?" said the wife, leaping to her feet. "And I suppose you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband. "She's left-handed..."

More Wedding and Marriage Quotes

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. - David
Bissonette
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again. - Noel Coward, 1956

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. - Sacha Guitry

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe. - Jackie Mason

Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out. - Montaigne

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. --
Hemant Joshi

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

ADULTERY, n. democracy as applied to marriage.

BRIDE, n. [1] the person who is the first to put her foot down after being carried across the threshold; [2] a woman who looks
happy but isn't -- the look is triumph; [3] a woman who wanted a man to make little advances to her during courtship and
large advances after marriage

CHARACTER, n. a virtue which is formed in youth and reformed by marriage

CYNIC, n. a person who feels that divorce should cost more than marriage -- because it's worth much more

DICTIONARY, n. the only place where divorce comes before marriage

ENGAGEMENT, n. [1] that period in a man's life which can sometimes end happily -- unless it ends in marriage; [2] a word
with two meanings: (1) in war, it is a battle and (2) in courtship, a sur- render

HUMOR, n. the one sure way to make a marriage last

HUSBAND, n. [1] a man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness; [2] a sensible sort of a man -- he never thinks of
romance and marriage; [3] a man who has to grow old alone; [4] is much like a fire -- he goes out if unattended; [5] living
proof that women can take a joke; [6] a man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life; [7]
what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been removed; [8] a person who never really becomes "good," he is merely more
proficient.

HUSBAND, FAITHFUL, n. that man who is married to a trusting wife (a definition that can be either truthful or cynical)
HUSBAND, GOOD, n. a man who feels in his pockets every time he passes a mailbox

HUSBAND, HENPECKED, n. [1] a man who always consults his better half instead of his better judgment; [2] a species of
worm which is afraid to turn; [3] a man who is so timid, he is even afraid to talk back to other people's wives

HUSBAND, PERFECT, n. is, in a man's second marriage, her first mate

HUSBAND, SMART, n. [1] one who thinks twice before saying nothing; [2] a man who buys his wife such fine china that she
will never trust him to do the dishes; [3] a man who is never so busy bringing home the bacon that he forgets the applesauce;
[4] a man who is on listening terms with his wife

HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, n. a man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes

KISSING, n. [1] a method of getting two people so close together that they can't possibly see anything wrong with each other;
[2] while, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; [3] an action that only marriage can
transform from a pleasure to a duty

INFATUATION, n. a wasting disease easily cured -- by marriage

LOVE, n. [1] man's grand delusion that one woman differs from another; [2] a sea of emotions entirely surrounded by
expenses; [3] what Plato described as "a grave mental disease"; [4] something they say is blind -- it's marriage which is the
real eye opener; [5] that emotion which is not true until returned; [6] that delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl
and discovering that she looks like a haddock {John Barrymore}; [6] what we have in common with the residents of all third-
world countries; [7] is like measles -- much worse when it comes late in life; [8] the most slippery word in the human language
-- used by knaves to seduce, by fools for comfort, and by most men to placate the female of the species; [9] the only fire for
which there is no insurance; [10] an emotion, even if unreturned, has its rainbow; [11] the crocodile in the river of desire
{Bhartrihari c. 625}; [12] the only game that two can play and both win; [13] the last and most serious of the childhood
diseases; [14] what makes marriage possible -- habit makes it last; [15] is the wisdom of the fool and the folly of the wise;
[16] a disease like measles, we all have to go through it; [17] a temporary insanity curable by marriage or the removing of the
patient from the influences under which he or she incurred the disorder; [18] the only game that is never called on account of
darkness; [19] the tie that blinds; [20] consists of happiness, given back and forth; [21] the only thing that has changed over
the millions of years of playing this game is that trumps have changed from clubs to diamonds; [22] that which makes the
world revolve; [23] is really just being stupid together; [24] a situation which happens when you think almost as much of
another as you do of yourself; [25] is like a case of the measles -- all the worse when it comes later in life; [26] is a fan club
with only two members; [27] the only virtue that can be divided endlessly and still not be diminished; [28] the triumph of
imagination over intelligence; [29] the child of illusion and the parent of disillusion; [30] a strange feeling that comes over a
man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; [31] is like war -- simple to begin but the devil to stop; [32] is
like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties; [33] something which creates a religion that
worships two fallible gods; [34] a word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle aged,
and the mutual dependence of the old; [35] a situation -- when it is true, does not mean gazing into each other's eyes, but
looking outward together in the same direction life beckons; [36] something which combines the two greatest powers on earth
-- war and peace; [37] the balm that heals the wounds that words make.

LOVE LETTERS, n. [1] correspondence that should always bear the salutation: "My Dearest, and Gentlemen of the Jury"; [2]
are best mailed in the waste basket

LOVER(S), n. [1] people who never get tired of each other because they are always talking about themselves; [2] a person
who could only be more perfect if your partner turned into a pizza at 4:00 am

LOVE SONG, n. a caress set to music

LOVE, TRUE, n. marrying a girl, even though she hasn't a steady job

LUXURIES, n. items which, by grand design, always cost more -- for example: a divorce decree costs more than a marriage
license

MARRIAGE, n. [1] the dawn of romance and the commencement of history; [2] a word that should be pronounced as
"mirage"; [3] an event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; [4] a very good way to promote civilization -- if
you get a good wife you will be happy, if you get a bad one you will become a philosopher {Socrates}; [5] a pro-cess much like
a cafeteria -- you carefully look over the choices, select what looks the best -- and pay later; [6] an event which is called "tying
the knot" -- unfortunately, the knot can be a noose; [7] a word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity; [8] a
ceremony favored in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating; [9] something that
changes the demeanor of a driver -- there is no longer any effort needed to keep both hands on the wheel; [10] the only
permanent cure for love; [11] is only compatible when the man makes a living and his wife makes living worthwhile; [12] the
only adventure open to the cowardly; [13] something which is called a feast -- unfortunately, sometimes the appetizer is better
than the main course; [14] a group which consists of: a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two; [15] the
alliance of two people, one who never remembers birthdays, and the other who never forgets them; [16] the process that turns
a female from an attraction into a distraction; [17] a legal custom which turns a man into the captive audience of his wife; [18]
that ceremony which makes more strange bedfellows than politics; [19] a rite where two people, under the influence most
violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, are required to swear that they will remain in that excited,
abnormal and exhausting condition until death do them part; [20] occurs where a man gets hooked by his own line; [21] in
America, is the only legal method of suppressing freedom of speech; [22] is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of
toothpaste; [23] is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer; [24] the process of finding out the kind of guy
your wife would have preferred; [25] a condition where no wife gets what she expected, and no husband expected what he was
getting; [26] the ceremony which provides a man with something that, sooner or later, he will find he can't blame on the
government; [27] a tradition which would suffer considerably if men had to pay the minister the same fee they will eventually
have to pay the divorce lawyer; [28] is much like a pair of shears, so joined so the parts cannot be separated, often moving in
opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who tries to come between them; [29] the continuous process of getting used
to things you never expected; [30] a status which depends upon two to be successful but only one to turn into a failure; [31] is
a book in which the first chapter is written in poetry and the rest of the book is prose; [32] a bargain, and a sensible person
understands that someone must get the better of any bargain; [33] in Japanese is called "Judo" -- the art of conquering by
yielding. This is the western equivalent of "Yes, dear"; [34] a confrontation which always demands the greatest understanding
of the subtle art of insincerity possible between two human beings; [35] is not a word, but a sentence; [36] a delightful form of
combat where you get to sleep with the enemy; [37] an investment that pays big dividends if you manage to keep up the
interest.

MARRIAGE CEREMONY, n. [1] a ritual which should be written (to cut down on divorces) -- by adding a line to the groom's
questions asking: "And do you understand that from this moment on, you will be always be wrong?"; [2] a rite which a
clergyman should perform at no charge -- don't they say that you shouldn't profit by other people's mistakes?

MARRIAGE, HAPPY, n. a union which is in full flower when the husband knows what to remember and his wife understands
what to forget

MARRIAGE LICENSE, n. is the only permit taken out after the hunt is over

MARRIAGE, SECOND, n. the triumph of hope over experience {Dr. Johnson}

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, n. [1] one in which the husband knows when to remember and a wife knows what to forget; [2] is
achieved when silence between two people is comfortable; [3] is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the
end of one argument and begins the next; [4] is when a female hypochondriac marries a pill; [5] one in which a woman gives
the best years of her life to the man that made them so; [6] is not so much finding the right person -- but being the right
person; [7] is best assured when, instead of looking at each other, the two look out in the same direction; [8] is when either
party is good at taking orders

MARRIED LIFE, n. is like the pleasure experienced when getting into a warm bath -- after a while it's not so hot

MARRIED MAN, n. a person who has learned to turn off the car motor when his wife calls: "I'll be right out"

MIRAGE, n. another, and probably more precise way, to spell marriage

MOVIE STAR, n. a Hollywood resident who cannot live in the institution of marriage -- but doesn't mind frequent visits

PARTNERSHIP, n. a legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits

PRAISE, vt. something which, if directed to your wife, will lighten your marriage -- even if it frightens her at first.

SEX DRIVE, n. a physical craving which appears at puberty and ends at marriage

SUPREME COURT JUSTICE, n. an official without the authority to perform marriages -- I guess it is because marriage is not
considered a federal offense {Justice Felix Frankfurter}

WATERBED, n. a device that may help a marriage -- then again, the couple may drift apart
WIFE, n. [1] another man's folly; [2] someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments; [3] a great comfort
during her husband's troubles -- those, that as a bachelor, he would never have had; [4] a lady with a whim of iron; [5] a
person who sits up with you when you are sick, and puts up with you when you are not; [6] the one person who in an
argument, if you win -- you lose; [7] a lady who is much like an angler -- each think the best one got away; [8] a woman who
can be labeled intelligent when she sees through her husband -- she's understanding when she sees him through; [9] what a
man blames things on when he can't figure a way to blame the government; [10] a woman who can spot a blond hair on her
husband's coat from ten feet away but can never see a fire plug when she parks; [11] a female who would rather mend your
ways than your socks; [12] a woman who, in the same breath, can complain she has nothing to wear, and is bemoaning she
needs more closet space; [13] a spouse who always feels she doesn't dance enough; [14] is in trouble with her roles when her
husband finds her a whore in the kitchen and a cook in the bedroom; [15] a person who only lasts as long as a marriage -- an
ex-wife is forever

WIFE, HAPPY, n. a spouse who is sometimes so because she has the best husband -- more often it is that she makes the best
of the husband she has

WIFE, WISE, n. one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only chairman of the
entertainment committee

WOMAN, LIBERATED, n. a female who has sex before marriage and a job after {Gloria Steinem}