Date: April 4, 2006

Issue #: 9

The Nickelodeon
Chronicling the play and behavior of the ATAG Tour

2006 SEASON OPENS WITH GREAT

FANFARE!

April 4, 2006
Ansley Tuesday Afternoon Golf Tour (ATAG)
By: Don Nichols

It was a beautiful, breezy, Spring day. Flowers were in bloom and verdant fairways beckoned.
Anticipation and excitement filled the air as galleries began to form and television
commentators climbed atop their towers. It may have been Masters week, but this was not
the Masters. It was opening day of the 2006 ATAG season, a day that saw nineteen players
challenge for the golden ale!

The first arriving players were quickly assembled into two teams via the random ball drop
while the other teams were formed in accordance with the players order of arrival (thanks to
assistant pro Robert Batters by), resulting in a five team competition. Leading off the 2006
season from the first tee at precisely 5:06 pm was the team of Danny Morris, Brad Reese,
Henry Sawyer, and Scotty Greene, followed by the team of Tom Kisgen, Jim Bernhardt, Marty
Arnold, and Don Nichols. Team 3 consisted of Tom Player, Bill Benning, C.J. Young, and Ron
Majors. Team 4 was the foursome of Andy Tyber, Ben Cass, Mike Gaddis, and David Hurt, and
bringing up the rear was the threesome of Craig Sellnor and visitors Tom Lewis and P.J. Wade.

13 UNDER WINS IT!

The winning score of 13 under was posted by Team 3, led by 20 handicapper Bill Benning’s 43
(causing him to be immediately put on the Handicap Committee watch list). Providing the
complimentary cold beverage of choice to the winners was the forlorn team of Tom Kisgen
et al which played consistently poorly enough to finish at the woeful score of 3 under. The rest
of the teams skated through the competition and bought brewskies for themselves, feeling
neither pain nor gain until the opportunity for such arrives at next week’s match.

SINGLE DIGITERS STRUGGLE!

Low gross for the day was shared by single digit handicappers Andy Tyber and Ben Cass with
a less than admirable score of 4 over. It proved to be an all around tough day for the ATAG
single digiters. Last year’s low gross champion Brad Reese finished at 7 over and immediately
left the premises (claiming prior engagements), David Hurt finished at 6 over complaining that
his single digit status was quickly being eroded due to “settindownitis” (we all can relate),
and Jim Bernhardt’s 5 over score had him leaving to attend an anger management class.
BENNING GRABS LOW NET AND SELLNOR TOPS THE CHART!

Low net for the day went to the aforementioned Bill Benning (last year’s high gross winner) with a net
score of 3 under, narrowly edging out fellow winning team members C.J. Young and Ron Majors who
finished at 2 under. High score for the day went to 26 handicapper Craig Sellnor (last year’s runner up
in this category) who parred the number 1 handicap # 6 while climbing to a score of 57.

NICHOLS HAS SHOT OF THE DAY!

Shot of the day went to Don Nichols who holed out his 60 yard approach shot from the trees on # 5 for
birdie, net eagle, helping his team to finally break into the red. Honorable mention went to Scotty Greene who,
rather than taking a penalty shot and a probable double bogey, managed to hit the ball out of the culvert on # 9
onto the green and two putting to save bogey.

FIRST TWEETERS OF THE YEAR!

There were six birdies on opening day—two by C.J. Young, and one each by Andy Tyber, Bill Benning,
Henry Sawyer, and Don Nichols. (C.J. Young is now the leader in the clubhouse in this category.)

OTHER TIDBITS

There was an oddity of sorts, when for the first time, all four players on the same team posted the exact
same score. Team 1 players Danny Morris, Brad Reese, Henry Sawyer, and Scotty Greene all posted
rounds of 43, earning them a place in the ATAG record books.

The players gathered on the Men’s Grill Porch to imbibe in brewskies and discuss the day’s opening
round while waiting for others to finish. Some old jokes were told by ATAG humorists Tom Kisgen and
Danny Morris, but it was pretty much a quiet, “general discussion” kind of atmosphere as players
enjoyed the cool but comfortable outdoors, with some opting to partake of the newly re-established
food service on Tuesday nights.

Marty Arnold revealed that he has become a “trans sexual”. After dropping 25 pounds over the winter
from a “two a day” exercise regimen and controlled portion eating, Arnold, in contrast to the other
beer drinking, story telling ATAGers, sat quietly and complacently on the porch sipping a chardonnay
and eating a salad, prompting Scotty Greene to suggest that next week ferns should be hung from the
porch ceiling.

“Sucks” was the operative word for the karma lacking and losing team of Tom Kisgen, Jim Bernhardt,
Marty Arnold, and Don Nichols who vowed never to play together as a team again.

It was great day and it was good to see everybody again! Next week we take on the back nine.
Please let me know by Friday if you think you will be able to make it so I can call on Saturday and
reserve enough tee times.

See you then! Box Scores:

Andy Tyber 40 Marty Arnold 45
Don Nichols Ben Cass 40 Don Nichols 45
ATAG Commissioner Jim Bernhardt 41 P. J. Wade 45
Mike Gaddis 41 Tom Player 50
Ron Majors 41 Tom Kisgen 50
David Hurt 42 Craig Sellnor 57
Bill Benning 43
C. J. Young 43
Danny Morris 43
Brad Reese 43
Henry Sawyer 43
Scotty Greene 43
Tom Lewis 44