ONLY THAT WAS POSSIBLE BY ME

(A week in my work)
Vishwas Jog. K
Lecturer- Pediatrics
VSS College of Nursing
At the moment, the last signature for permission to work in hospital fall, we were
decided to get its maximum benefits out it and we decided to work for full day starting from
8am to 5pm. We were on float of unknown confidence that our decision was no impractical.
That is how our Pediatric positing sartared in M.Sc. in fact even in our dreams we were
never expected that, those days would be most memorable days in our lives.

My first encounter in hospital was NICU. It’s well known fact that NICU is a high
tension area. But we were psychologically fit and fine. But the ward had something ready
for our welcome. There was a little bud of god no more as we enter the ward. It was
disgusting, frustrating, and it left us heavy hearted for week and more. Meanwhile a week
of postings ended. Those days were gone just as nightmares for us, we had seen four deaths
during only seven days.

Next round of rotation goes for pediatric medicine ward. It was an eye candy for all
of us to see those active (Relatively) children playing in and around the ward. People who
are familiar in teaching nursing education might be heard of the Concept of Primary Nurse.
Primary nursing is a method of nursing practice which emphasizes continuity of care by
having one nurse (often teamed with a nursing assistant) provides complete care for a small
group of inpatients within a nursing unit of a hospital. The "primary nurse" is responsible for
coordinating all aspects of care for the same group of patients throughout their stay in a
given area. As an experiment we tried to incorporate this concept in our practice. And as a
result of that I never expected that would bring me something which I never wanted.

The child I got is Bhuvana of 10 years; at a glance I was thinking she might be some
5-6years. She looks so thin, too much less active. Fact is her weight was only 12kgs! My two
days of postings I spent most of my time with that little angel. Knowing her and her family
was became my daily routine. They were so much of worried about that child. You may
think its natural that any parent would be more worried about their kid is admitting but this
is not that worry….I went through the care book of her, to get more information about that
cute little angel. I was collapsed to read it. Her history told me something.
 She was born premature, preterm, LBW and with severe distress to life. She had
been put in NICU for 6 months. Discharge was not done on the basis of her improvement in
health but, doctor was given up himself and said “we can able to keep the dying child”.
After taking child to home some miracle happened the girl was gaining weight and became
perfectly alright. She won the first battle against fate. Until 3 years, she was well except the
undernourishment gifted by her prematurity. But don’t know which god got jealous of the
child; her bad time has started as she got severe abdominal pain and a bunch of health
problems. She got admitted again. This time scanning reports said that her left kidney is
Ectopic if left untreated she may die, it has to be removed as soon as possible. Remember
Bhuvana just finished her 3 rd birthday few days ago. I can’t even imagine the condition of
the parents. How the felt would after listening to their only child’s kidney has to be
removed now. Doctor was playing with fate because even if they remove that ectopic
kidney survival chance very less. They all took the risk and removed her one useless and
harmful kidney. Some good god might smile. She again won the battle.

But now after seven years, she started getting problems yet again. She had Dysuria,
pain a lot. Parents were afraid to go to hospital. But still one fine (?) day the met doctor.
Now yet another time she hospitalized and her scanning report reveals so many hidden
truths. She born with a retroverted bladder, it was a long term problem which was left
unidentified these years. Her 40% of urine stays back inside her bladder; it has done enough
damage to kill her remaining kidney for about 60%.

Treatment is Renal Transplantation. Who is ready to give kidney to that age? If not,
life long injection of IgG immunoglobulin and that injection cost around 80,000 per dose.
How can a lower middle class family hold this? I guess the family’s annual income itself will
not cross 25,000.

That morning first time in my life I just prayed god that, please give me strength to
face the innocent eyes, please give me strength to console the family. But when face her I
could not even able to open my mouth. I saw a kind face of god in her eyes so I was not able
to tell the lies. I sat with her till the posting time come and while leaving ward just given a
smile only that was possible by me.

Who wants to listen this? What was her mistake? Why this punishment? As my eyes
are filling with tears I cannot write anything more about that girl. Even today every morning
I pray god only one thing if possible please do not give me such satiations in my life again.