7/4/07

How to Squelch a Romantic Crush

1. Affirm you want God’s best.
2. Realize that marriage ends “freedom.”
3. Know the danger of your heart. (See Proverbs 16:25)
4. Check “marriage readiness.”
- How to separate from parents.
5. Rule out wrong partners
- I will not marry a divorced, married, unsaved, or sensual person.
- My parents need to approve.
6. Thank God for marriage
- Desiring marriage is not wrong.
7. Rejoice in normal desires.
- A crush indicates normal desires.
8. Recommit your heart to God.
- Give your heart to God 100%.
- God the loves others through us.
- Crush takes part of your heart and gives it to the other person, nobody can have 100%.
- (See Psalm 73:25)
9. Marriage is your choice.
10. Refocus energy on serving
- Don’t decrease love for a person, but increase love for God.

1/16/11
Courtship – A way of protecting young people while they objectively discover if it is God’s will for them to marry.

Dating: Courtship:
Physical Attraction
Spiritual issues
Emotional Attachment
Character issues
Enter each other’s social circles (“Change after marriage”)
Character issues Enter each other’s social circles
(“Change after marriage”)
Emotional Attachment
Spiritual issues
Physical Attraction

Why focus on fathers?

1. They are responsible for protection.
2. They have a leadership role.
3. They evaluate a man differently than daughter, need both perspectives.

For Fathers:
1. Show children that you believe in them.
2. Requires long-term commitment.
3. Decide to engage even when uncomfortable.
4. Humble desire to have children be successful in this area.
Relationship – Foundation
1. Takes time to build.
- Develops through shared times.
- Get below surface – share yourself first.
- See dad as human.
2. You want wise children in courtship, not smart ones who know the right answer.
3. Parents can help make children successful, but final decision on a spouse is the children’s.
Trust:
1. in father’s judgment
2. Biblically wise
3. Accepting of father’s counsel

Keys to build on a courtship foundation

1. Train (What is marriage?)
2. Agreement (Write down)
3. Knowing what your child wants

What He Must Be…if he wants to marry my daughter (Book)

Fathers
1. Protect daughters from unqualified men.

Daughters
1. Keep pure for future husband.
2. Get father’s blessing.
3. Wait for full release from father before entering into marriage.

Write down an agreement: Sign it, Have witnesses, and Seal with memorable celebration or valuable token. Write
down qualities that daughter want’s in their future husband. Continue to refine lists over time. Make list when there
is no emotional involvement.

Example:
He must have He must NOT have I must have to compliment him
Salvation Doubts in Salvation Salvation (I Peter)
Life calling No life calling/not firm Life calling
I Timothy 3:2-7 Previous relationships Proverbs 31

Every courtship is a success.