Valentina Heart - Resisting The Temptation

Resisting the Temptation
Valentina Heart
www.loose-id.com
Copyright © March 2011 by Valentina Heart
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eISBN 978-1-60737-982-9
Editor: Ann M. Curtis
Cover Artist: Justin James
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Chapter One
It all started on a cloudy day, when the air smelled of rain and the wind played
with the fallen autumn leaves. I was sitting at a table in front of a café three blocks
from my house, drinking hot tea. The newspapers were spread out at my side, the
edges of the pages struggling to flip over with every strong gust of wind.
I needed a breather from my flat, my work. The walls had seemed as if they
were closing in on me, so I escaped to this little peaceful place to take a break.
Every man needed some time off, a few minutes to think things through or an hour
of silence with no one to bother him with thousands of silly questions.
I wasn't there more than fifteen minutes when the doors on the building across
the street flew open, banging loudly. A young man tumbled out. His whole posture
was slumped, his black hair partnering with the playful wind and dancing around
his head. It wasn’t exactly cold outside, but the temperature certainly asked for
more than a thin, skintight, sleeveless shirt. His pants were baggy, but still
outlined his perfect ass.
There was something in the way he walked that sent a shock of lust to my
cock. Maybe it was the tempting line of his neck, or the whisper of his nipples
beneath the shirt. I stripped him with my gaze as vividly as I would have a man
who I was about to fuck, and there was not an ounce of him that clashed with my
desire.
Obviously, I’m gay. There’s been no secret about that fact since I turned
fourteen. Never had any desire for girls, and when I first found a boy I liked, it was
perfectly natural to kiss him. Only when I got a fist in my face did I start to wonder
what I’d done wrong.
2 Valentina Heart
My mother was a single parent, always working more than spending time with
me. I was raised more by my neighbors and later by my grandparents than by her. I
loved her very much, but it wasn’t until later I understood why she was never home.
It took even more time before I was able to forgive her for her constant absence from
my life.
My grandparents were already old by the time we’d moved into their
apartment. We’d moved in with them partly to look after them and partly to
distance me from the bad neighborhood we’d lived in before. So the first talks about
sex I ever had were with Joe, my grandfather. We moved in with them between my
very first kiss and my interest in another boy.
So instead of making the same mistake twice and getting another fist in the
face, I talked to my grandpa first. Now, when I look back at that time, I realize that
I was a very naive child. I was exposed to everything my peers were exposed to, but
somehow, I only heard selected things. And while most children differentiated
between straight and gay sex, I had no idea my desires were out of the ordinary.
The first time I asked my grandfather how to kiss another boy without getting beat
up in the process, I almost gave him a heart attack.
He started grabbing his chest and slipping out of his chair. Only the fact that
my grandmother was in the house to calm him down spared us a trip to the
hospital.
My innocent little question led to countless family conversations, where they

tried to explain to me how I should kiss a girl and not a boy, and how I would marry
someday and have children of my own. It was the first time that I noticed that there
was a difference between what I wanted and what everybody else considered
normal.
However, it didn’t stop me from asking if I could just practice on girls until I
found a boy I liked. Joe lifted his palms in the air before slamming them on his
thighs and walking out of the room. My mother just stared at me with her jaw
slack, and my grandmother shook her head in disbelief.
Resisting the Temptation 3
It took them a few months of useless persuasion before they gave up and
explained to me that I was gay. I think it was a final blow for my mother, who
considered herself responsible for the way I turned out. We were never especially
close, but after that period, the wall between us only thickened. She is still a good
mother, always there for me if I should need something, but the wall never shrunk,
and to this day, we’re little more than strangers with obligations to each other.
To my surprise, it was Joe who became my best friend. He even joked about
my sexuality and gave me some good advice. He was the first person who was there
every time someone broke my heart, and the first person I introduced my boyfriends
to when I got serious with them.
Remembering Joe always disconnected me from the real world, so it was only
when a box of what looked like books flew from a window and crashed on the
pavement that I shrugged off the memories and paid attention to the here and now.
The tight-assed hunk from across the street was standing there, his palms
outstretched and his eyes focused on the shirtless man in the second-story window.
“Are you fucking crazy, Chris? That could have killed me!”
“I don’t give a flying fuck, you slut!” screamed the man in the window as he
threw some clothes from the window as well.
“You can’t do that!” yelled the hunk back as he collected his stuff from the
building’s steps.
“Just watch me, you piece of shit!” The man, who was apparently called Chris,
shot back with venom in his voice.
“You knew how I was before we hooked up! Come on!” The pleading in the
young man’s voice was such a shameless lie that it was hard not to notice it.
“My bed, Mikey! You fucked him in my bed!” Chris screamed so loud, his voice
cracked, and then he threw out some shoes and what looked like a Guitar Hero
guitar.
4 Valentina Heart
Mikey actually threw himself after that, barely catching the guitar, but at the
cost of his pants getting ripped as they got stuck on the edge of the fence.
“He was just a good fuck, Chris. It didn’t mean anything.” Mikey tried once
more.
“Am I also just a fuck, Mikey? Only I have to support you for the sex I get; the
rest of them get it for free! I shouldn’t have expected more from a nineteen-year-old.
Fuck off, Mikey! I never want to see you again.” Chris said, suddenly sounding
resigned, and he closed the window with a bang.
So Mikey was nineteen. He certainly looked young, but who was I to complain
about his age. Don’t they always say the younger the better? God, I sound like such
a sleaze!
I wasn’t a particularly cruel man, and I did feel sorry for Chris, but the whole
situation amused me to no end. My newspaper lay folded on the edge of the table,
forgotten, and I watched the scene play out with interest.
Mikey was collecting his things one by one and folding them on top of the book-
filled box. I ogled his ass every time he bent over. The morning was shitty for him,
but it was the most fun I’ve had in almost two weeks. Not to mention the spikes of
pure desire my dick kept sending through my body at the sight of that gorgeous gay
man.
As Mikey sat on the building steps, pushing his hair behind his ear, I couldn’t
miss the defeated look in his eyes. He looked young, very young. The puppy eyes
were almost on the verge of tears before he lowered his forehead onto his crossed
arms that were resting on his knees.
Up until that moment, I understood Chris. If someone cheated on me, I

wouldn’t hesitate to throw him out on his cheating ass too. But as I watched Mikey
so lost and alone, with the wind beating against his now shaking form, I couldn’t
help but feel sorry for him.
Where the hell did Chris get the nerve to throw a kid out on the street? What a
dick.
Without even thinking about it, I threw some bills on my table and with a
purposeful stride walked over to the other side of the street. I hesitated for a second
as I approached Mikey, his milky white skin doing strange things to my already
lust-filled body. I shook it off and sat beside him on the chilly steps.
“Tough day, huh?” I asked him, looking somewhere off in the distance even as I
struggled not to lean against him, feel his warmth, and take in his intoxicating
scent.
“Yeah,” Mikey whispered between sniffs.
“Do you have someone to call?” I was hoping that he wasn’t alone in the world,
like so many kids were. I don’t know why I kept associating him with some
schoolboy when he was obviously old enough. Maybe it was his youthful appearance
and my conflicting attraction.
“No.”
“I’m Kyle.” I offered him my hand and waited patiently, anticipating the touch
as if I was a man starved of such.
For the first time, he lifted his head and looked at me. Glistening tears were
still resting at the corners of his eyes, and the storm was in its full wake behind the
dark green of his irises.
If it were possible, he looked even younger up close. The tips of his long
sideways bangs reached the middle of his cheeks, and I was betting that they
stopped just as they reached his dimples. I hadn’t seen him smile yet, but really, all
that was missing were the dimples. Christ, I was turned on by a kid.
He must have found what he was looking for in my eyes, because he took hold
of my hand and smiled. It was a flirty smile that went only to one side of his face for
a better impression and was perfectly matched with the come get me look his eyes
portrayed. But the feel of his delicate palm in mine had my heart racing on its
imaginary track, and in fear of simply molesting him right then and there, I severed
our contact even as I smiled back.
6 Valentina Heart
If my self-control were any less developed, he would have had me in his bed, or
as it were, my bed, by the end of the afternoon if not sooner. Hell, I would have
tackled him, not unlike a man possessed, and ravished him silly. Instead, all I gave
him was that one friendly smile and said, “You must be Mikey.”
He blushed oh, so sweetly, extending that smile to his other cheek too and
introduced me to those heartbreaking dimples. If my cock could have been any
harder, it would have ripped open my pants in its desperate search for Mikey’s
attention. This was that one time when I hated to be right.
“I guess you saw that, huh?” His shyness only made him more desirable in my
book, and silently I cursed the weakness he caused in me.
“It was kind of hard to miss.”
“I’m not usually like that.” I wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, with all his
smiles and seductive gazes, but the last thing I planned was to be his next sexual
conquest.
“What are you like then?” I pushed the seductive vibe as much as he pushed
his.
“I’m a good person, you know?” He pushed back those playful strands of hair
from his eyes and focused on the concrete beneath out feet.
“I never said anything different.”
“Yes, but Chris… Chris said a lot of ugly stuff.”
“Chris is an ex. Why should I listen to someone who wasn’t good enough?” The
words just popped out of my mouth, and I knew I was flirting big-time when I only
wanted to be helpful. It was like he dragged the reaction from me, no matter how
much I struggled against it.
It wasn’t my intention to flirt, or even to react to his advances, no matter how

innocent they might have been. There was enough difficulty in the simple nearness
we shared and the lust induced by it. My imagination forced visions of his tempting,
naked body straight down toward my weakest point, and everything that helped stir
it more was bad. Very bad.
“You really mean that?” His whole demeanor perked up, and he stared at me
with such expectation that I knew right then and there that I would end up giving
him whatever he wanted and never take anything for myself.
It was like he won me with those simple words, the innocent set of his lips, the
expectant look in his eyes, and I buried all the sexual fantasies I had starring him
right away and toned down all the lust that filled me when he was near. I would be
a friend, but nothing more. Mikey was pure fire that would completely consume me
on its path, then spit me out as nothing more than a burned black piece of gay flesh.
I really hoped that I was man enough to stand behind my words.
“Sure I mean it. I like to form my own opinions about people.”
“So what do you think about me?”
“That, kid, is a long process that takes time. I’ll let you know eventually.” God
knows that he didn’t need to hear about all the kinky images playing in my head
since the moment I first saw him.
He pouted sweetly, but soon jumped to his feet. “Well, I guess I should move
on. No point in staying in the middle of the street.”
I stood too, trying my best not to lower my eyes below his neck.
“You don’t happen to have a spare room I could stay in until I get back on my
feet?”
I wanted to offer him some type of security, even though I’d had something a
bit different in mind when I first approached him. But his words still caught me like
a deer in the headlights. Who would even invite himself to a stranger’s apartment?
Clearly Mikey didn’t have that problem, and imagining him in my space,
always close, his every step an invitation, his tempting smell an aphrodisiac… I all
but moaned before biting my tongue at the last possible moment.
“Actually, I do,” I said as I found the last traces of my composure.

8 Valentina Heart
“I don’t have much money right now, but I work as a waiter here and there, so
I’ll get you some cash. That okay?” He babbled like he was paid for it.
“It’s not a problem. You need help with that?” I motioned toward the boxes
filled with his stuff. Every distraction at that moment was very welcome.
“Oh, no. I’m pretty strong, even if I don’t look it. I can carry it. Do you live far?”
“Not really, about three blocks away.”
With that I got myself a roommate and more trouble that one man needed in
his life.
Chapter Two
Living with Mikey was a challenge. He had tantrums regularly, a broken heart
even more often, and spent every waking minute of the day trying to get into my
pants.
The second day of his stay at my place, I walked into the kitchen for some
water and found him with his elbows on the counter, his ass beautifully pushed out,
taunting me. I stopped in my tracks, speechless, instantly aroused and almost
drooling. His naked back was a curve of taut muscles, flexing as he moved from one
foot to the other. He only had on a pair of white briefs that were highlighting his ass
more than covering it, especially when he scratched his calf with a toe and I saw the
line of his crack and that mouthwatering, dipping curve of his cheek.
A moan was more of a natural occurrence than something I was in control of.
My pants were suddenly tight with eager flesh pressing against the zipper. And it
was only predictable that he should turn around at that precise moment.
The sight was almost sinful, and my brain couldn’t decide if it should direct my
eyes to the upper regions or the lower ones. A spoon was trapped between his lips,
an opened ice cream box in front of him on the counter. His torso was as muscled as
his back, without any hair, but also without an ounce of fat. I could see him covered
in oil on a stage, showing that six-pack to an ecstatic crowd.
I don’t know why I looked even lower when I was aware of him watching me,
but I did. The erection was dark enough to be seen through the thin cloth, and even
if the briefs weren’t tented, the outline said enough. The tongue that slipped my lips
and licked them in obvious hunger did so without a conscious thought from me. It
was a natural reaction to a breathtaking scene.
10 Valentina Heart
Suddenly his hand blocked my view, and I was forced to look up. I never
blushed easily, but when caught at such a prolonged inappropriate moment, there
was no helping it. He pulled the spoon from his mouth, making an obscene pop, and
licked it with the tip of his tongue as if he’d missed a spot and wasn’t doing it just
for show.
“Sorry, sugar, I got hungry, and I just hate dealing with my morning wood on
an empty stomach.”
If he’d said it without that come get me smile and without the seductive
undertone in his voice, I just might have believed it, but when he was almost naked
and putting on a show with every single move he made, I was more than aware of
his motives. He wanted something more from me, and even though I was usually
more than ready to comply, in this one case, that was something I wasn’t ready to
give. I turned around and marched right back into my room, locking the door behind
me.
Jacking off for the second time in less than half an hour proved not to be a
challenge, but became a necessity after my first week with Mikey.
***
I’d just returned home from work and unlocked the door. Mikey had been
living with me for three weeks now, and I was scared of what I might find on the
other side. Like always, he didn’t disappoint.
“Ooh la la!” I heard the voice even before I saw the owner. “Who is this sweet
candy?” And just like that, I had my arms full of flamboyant male.
“That’s Kyle. He’s honey all over, isn’t he?” Mikey piped up just before he
stepped from behind the perky piece of ass, wearing only tight red briefs that
outlined his too familiar equipment. It didn’t seem to matter how much time passed,
or how used to Mikey I got, the firmness of his muscular legs, his popped-out abs,
the perfect circles of his nipples; all of it held me in a permanent state of hardness,
and the sight of him almost naked, smelling of sex and sweat, got me dizzy in no
time.
“Mmm… Does he do threesomes?” They talked as if I wasn’t even in the room,

but rather displayed in a shop window somewhere. Not to mention the fact that the
blond guy still gripped my biceps, his departure postponed indefinitely.
“Don’t I wish. He won’t even let me taste him.” Mikey was probably the only
man who was able to make me blush without even trying, because I never had that
problem before I met him. But imagining his tongue and lips on me brought me to
the verge of coming.
I pushed the blond toward Mikey and took a step back to escape his fast
fingers that were already reaching for me again. Silently I cursed my timing,
thinking how I should have just taken a different route home and the man would
have been gone by the time I unlocked the door. That still would have left the barely
dressed Mikey for me to face, but I was used to having an erection in his presence.
It was as common as the morning wood.
“Can I come inside, Mikey?” I asked as I lifted my brows, showing the level of
my limited patience and silently praying for a break.
“Oh, don’t be like that, Kyle. This is my boyfriend, Joey. I wanted you to meet
him.” He was pouting again.
“Nice to meet you, Joey. Can I come in now, without any more groping?” I
pushed past them, not really angry, but not willing to expose myself to any more
temptation.
I walked to the fridge and popped open a soda as Mikey said his good-byes to
his new boyfriend. I didn’t really care much if he dated a lot. Okay, that’s a lie. I
cared too much. But I could deal with it if the guys he fucked deserved him and
treated him right. This was his third boyfriend in as many weeks, and I swear, he
kept going from weird to fucking insane.
“Why do you always have to be such an ass to my boyfriends?” Mikey marched

into the kitchen still almost naked but now wearing his ugly pout too.
He had two pouts, as I’ve learned through constant exposure to them. One was
cute, like the first one he gave me when I met him. A pout that meant he wasn’t
12 Valentina Heart
happy with something, but he could let it go till next time. This pout was the ugly
one. It meant that he was just trying to be difficult, which then meant provoking
me. Thankfully, that pout also reduced my erection by half.
“Tell me, Mikey, what exactly do the two of you do in bed together? He might
as well change his name to bottom, and I already know that you don’t top.” I kicked
the ball to his court, not really in the mood for his games.
The tips of his ears turned red, making a nice contrast to the black of his hair
that was stuck behind them. I could tell that he was embarrassed as well as angry.
“That is just mean! I can tell you right now that he is great in bed!” His chin
stuck out as he turned his face to the side.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “You haven’t slept with him.”
It defused my anger, leaving only laughter in its wake. The comedy of the
situation calmed me, but still I worried that the reason for my sudden good mood
was something else altogether.
“How do you know we haven’t slept together?” He was still angry, but being
the butt of a joke didn’t suit him, and he wanted to take charge once more.
“Because it’s written all over your face. I bet he only gave you a blowjob, and I
don’t doubt his expertise when it comes to that. I also bet he’s had more than
enough practice to hone that skill.” I could barely catch my breath as I went
through my laugh attack.
Mikey turned on his heel and left the room. I was laughing even after his
bedroom door slammed shut behind him, but there was a bitter taste to it after a
while. I would have paid to see Mikey getting a blowjob.
I liked the kid, a lot. Somehow I managed to direct all my sexual energy into
caring for him as a friend, but despite that, he still had to have some limits when it
came to his attitude toward me.
The wicked and uncaring part of me kept thinking how none of this would be
happening if I would just bend him over the counter and fuck his sweet ass. But the
self-preserving part of me resisted, as I knew very well just how Mikey’s boyfriends
ended up.
Forgotten like discarded onetime confetti.
***
It was the fourth Sunday of enjoying Mikey’s enlightening company. As it
happened, it was also my day off. After the first week, he figured out my schedule
and organized it to his advantage. Every time I was at home, he was there too.
Sometimes he would stay with his date an hour longer in his bedroom, just so that I
could hear their screams of pleasure.
The first few times I discarded it as coincidence, that they would fuck just as I
was coming home; but after I once saw his self-satisfied smile, I knew it for what it
was—a game intended to provoke me.
I didn’t think he did stuff like that on purpose, as in something devised to hurt
me. No, I thought it had more to do with a desperate need for acceptance. No one
said no to Mikey. He had a body to die for, a smile that bought him riches, and the
diva attitude that the gay men all around town found adorable.
And then he met me. In his mind, I was a guy who, for all intents and
purposes, found him good-looking but nothing special, a guy who would do almost
anything for him but refused to have sex with him. He got everything with sex, and
me saying no confused him. He was out of moves, and it made him afraid of being
rejected as a person.
I was never much for psychology, but dealing with people and having a
background filled with demanding ex-partners forced me to notice little things. It
also made me reveal much less about myself than it might seem at first glance.
Sundays were reserved for seduction. At least Mikey thought so. I was quite
happy to go on to the spacious balcony, put my feet up on the rail, and enjoy a good
book. Secretly I was afraid of Sundays. The best way to deal with his antics was to
ignore them, but a man could ignore only so much.
14 Valentina Heart
“Kyle? What do you think is better?” Mikey’s voice came from the living room
just before he walked onto the balcony in flowered knee-length shorts. He held two
pieces of cloth and was waving them in front of my eyes, somehow still managing to
flash me with the chiseled planes of his mouthwatering chest.
“Could you first tell me what I’m looking at?” I asked patiently, trying not to
look, at which he rolled his eyes as if he were at the end of his wits.
“Biker shorts.” He said it calmly, like those two words explained everything.
“What do you need biker shorts for? You don’t even own a bike.”
“Well, of course not! What would I do with a bike? I saw this gorgeous set of
butts in biker shorts the other day. I had to buy myself a pair. So which ones do you
like better?”
Anyone else would have probably pulled out a memory of a cyclist from their
mind, but my brain only saw Mikey’s ass in a piece of cloth that was promising to be
tight, thin, and possibly see-through. So I did what I always do; I squeezed my legs
together to the point of pain and focused on the situation at hand.
I looked at the shorts once again, noticing some kind of a black-lined design on
the white ones, but still seeing only cloth with the black ones. I remembered him in
white, the way his ass looked and the hard length of his cock as it pointed at me. I
remembered it vividly, and I didn’t even have to think about my decision. “The
black ones.” Then I turned back to my book.
Anybody wanna guess what the princess did next? He dropped the shorts he
was wearing and displayed his long, naked, cut cock that I desperately wanted to
avoid seeing. He even turned to the side a bit so that I didn’t miss the firm lines of
his tanned ass. When the hell did he manage to get a tan?
My cock was already half-hard; I was only human after all, but having him so
close, hot, and gorgeous did things to my head that were not even safe and not to
mention particularly friendly. So instead of jumping him right there, which I was
more than inclined to do, I snapped. “Mikey, cover yourself! The whole world doesn’t
have to see what the whole night scene already did.” I wanted to beat myself to
death for that comment as soon as the words left my mouth, because he didn’t
deserve it, but lately my own frustrations drew only the bad out of me. And Mikey
seemed to be the one always getting the worst of it.
Mikey pulled up the black ones and covered all those young bits. What the
shorts left displayed were his sides. Only thin strips connected the front to the back
of the shorts; everything else was ready for action. The eye kind of action, in any
case. Huh, who sold those as biker shorts? I vaguely thought, picturing him
sprawled on the bed in those shorts just for me as my tongue traced all the
rectangles of exposed skin.
He turned fast, picked up his clothes, and left for his room. I didn’t have to be
a genius to realize just how much I’d hurt him. Despite all his provocative displays,
it was obvious that Mikey had never had someone who truly cared for him.
Otherwise, he would seek affection in other ways beside sex.
I put the book down and got up out of the chair. Being an ass wasn’t at the top
of my list of things to do today, so I walked to his room and knocked softly. When
there was no answer, I leaned on the door frame.
“I’m sorry I snapped, Mikey. Let me in, please.”
The silence stretched for a few long moments, and then the door opened, giving
me a view of Mikey hiding his wet eyes from me.
He walked back to the bed and picked up a pillow, hugging it firmly, and
leaned on the headboard.
“Mikey, you can’t keep doing that. I’m sorry I said those things, but you keep
provoking me.” I sat next to him on the bed, wishing for things to be different and
my limits and fears to cease to exist.
“But I want you.” A tear slipped down his cheek, rocking my already unstable
resolve.
“I’m too old for you, kid.”
“Twenty-nine is not old!” He looked at me, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

16 Valentina Heart
I would have laughed at his adorable expression if not for the other, more
primal effect the sight of him had on me.
“It may not seem like a lot, but it sure feels like too many years between us.
I’m too old for your wicked ways. You need someone younger who won’t suffocate
your spirit.” I took his hand in mine and leaned my head against his shoulder.
We were both suckers for affection, from innocent little touches to full-blown
hugs and kisses. As much as his closeness pained me at times, it was also
something I desperately missed. We held each other when the world seemed too
cruel and gave each other innocent pecks when we needed someone to care.
I loved the feel of his young body next to me, the warmth radiating from his
skin, and the casual way his fingers slid through mine. Every touch was like a
connection between us, holding all the hidden emotions we had for each other but
disguising itself as ordinary affection. I could have easily drowned in the scent of his
hair, lost my soul to the sinful taste of his skin. But as hidden strengths went, mine
were firmly rooted in denial and self-restraint, where I held myself back, tiptoeing
right on that hair-thin line between blasted affection and full-out explosion of
unlimited passion.
“But maybe I don’t want someone like me. Maybe I need someone more
mature, like you.” His voice was quiet even as his lips pressed against my forehead,
forcing me to bite back a desperate moan.
“You need a friend more than a lover, someone who you know will always be
there for you, no matter what you do. Lovers come and go, but friends are there to
stay.” I shot out wisdoms like a saint, all the while hiding my erection with my
knees.
It wasn’t like I was trying to deceive him in any way. I truly believed that he
needed something more than a boyfriend for some casual fun, and I saw nobody
applying for that role but me. My lusts and my developing feelings would have to be
put aside and eventually forgotten, because I never wanted the kid to hurt again.
What I also didn’t want was to get hurt. And even though I kidded myself that
the real reason for me keeping my distance was Mikey’s well-being, deep down I
knew that I was afraid. Mikey was a player. A kid who needed to have fun, test the
waters, and explore, and an older man was like a piece of bright red candy in a sea
of dull-colored sweets. For someone like Mikey, I might as well have had a sign
printed on my forehead that said TRY THE OLD GUY.
“But it’s not your fault no one ever wanted me. You can fuck me and still be my
friend, can’t you?” If possible, his voice became even quieter, and I knew that a
month could never be enough to prove to someone that you were there to stay. The
image of wild fucking aside, he was too young to commit to a relationship, and I’d
known for a while now that I couldn’t accept anything less. A friend was there to
stay, so a friend I would become.
“No, I can’t do it, sweetheart. I will never be one of your boyfriends that come
and go like Avon ladies. I’m not here to sell and leave. I want to be stuck with you,
and this is the only way I know how.” I gripped his fingers hard and snuggled closer
as his face rested against the top of my head.
His sigh was a signal that he had nothing else to say, the same as me. We
could have agreed to disagree, or argued until our voices gave out, but there was no
point in it, because he knew me well enough by now to realize I wouldn’t be backing
down, and I recognized his stubborn streak early on. The games would continue, but
I wouldn’t want it any other way, as games meant having Mikey around.
18 Valentina Heart
Chapter Three
After another one of those cute but torturous scenes where the shower door
was accidentally left open, I rushed to my room practicing my breathing exercises
that did absolutely nothing to tame my raging erection. Dead cats and fat women
did nothing for me anymore, the same as pinching myself and visualizing straight
sex. I was constantly in search of alternative methods that apparently didn’t work,
and deep, calming breaths were just the current idiotic idea.
I caught sight of myself in the fancy mirror on the wall that an ex had given
me. My chocolate skin would have been an amazing contrast to Mikey’s lighter tan;
even my brown curls looked interesting next to his straight black hair. I was brown
all over, and his white skin turned me on almost as much as his actions did.
“You need to get laid!” I told the mirror as I dismissed nightclub after
nightclub in my head, trying to find a good one to go to for the evening.
I pulled on my ass-hugging pants and a simple white T-shirt, knowing that it

would come off the minute I entered the club. Pushing my fingers through my rough
curls, I took a deep breath and fled the house.
The music was loud, the lights flashing. The dance floor was filled with
twisting bodies, some connected, others seducing from a distance. It was a typical
night, and the beat rushed my blood.
I knew what I wanted, and it was waiting for me at home. So the only logical
solution to my problem was another willing body that looked nothing like Mikey.
I danced like a desperate man, my hands high up in the air, my ass skimming
between stretched-out hands. I felt fingers on my waist and chest, different
erections pressing against my body as men came and went. Every one of them
touching and offering, but leaving me unsatisfied.
My erection never faltered; it only became heightened by the smell of flesh and
sweat and warm touches that lingered. I needed to choose someone, and I needed to
do it before the night was over.
What snapped me from my haze and forced me to open my eyes was a painful
pinch one of my nipples experienced. I would have screamed in anger any other
time, but now I just moaned a desperate moan of want and knew the man in front of
me would give me what I wanted tonight.
He was almost as black as the night, only the whites of his eyes and the flash
of his teeth showing me what hid in the darkened club. The flash of light reflected
against his sweat-covered skin and showed me the lines of the muscled body in front
of me.
I leaned into him, ready to surrender, needing it. He placed his fingers against
my waist, pressing his long cock next to mine. I moaned into his neck, not even
noticing how my body touched the whole length of his.
“I want you,” he growled into my ear in a possessive, arousing sound.
Words were beyond me, with my blood fleeing lower and lower down my body,
and all I managed was a possessive bite back. I bit the hard flesh of his neck,
sucking a mark of anonymous desperation and giving him all the answer he needed.
My hand was taken as he pulled me across the dance floor and toward the exit,
leaving even our shirts behind. Only when the cold outside air shocked our sweaty
bodies did he slow down, hugging me close against his muscled body, so much larger
than mine.
“Where’s your car?” he growled again, saying to me with just a tone how much
he wanted me.
“I walked. It’s not that far,” I told him, wishing for an instant solution that
would put us on the smooth sheets of my lonely bed.
20 Valentina Heart
“We'll take mine,” he said just before he licked the length of my cheek, making
me shudder in delight.
We crossed the distance in a rush, all the while touching in inappropriate

ways, pushing our restless fingers below the tight cloth of our pants, grazing nipples
as well as lips.
“Get in.”
He opened the car door for me, then branded all the protruding points of my
spine with his searing mouth. I pushed back, wanting more of the heat, almost
aching for relief, but the voice insisted.
“Get in before I fuck you on the hood of the car.”
I wanted to listen to him. I really did, but instead of compliance, what he got
was a desperate whimper. I couldn’t see anything bad in it if it meant that I could
get what I wanted sooner.
The drive home was a blur of light and rush, my mind blissfully blank, not
even remembering the way I finally found myself in my seat. All I’d known were the
fingers tracing the hardness of my cock and the pathetic need of a hungry man.
Being celibate for so long never seemed more foolish than it did at that
moment. But it was our destination that rattled my strings in the end. Something
that never once had crossed my mind until I faced the front door of my home. I was
bringing another man into the sanctuary of my unhealthy infatuation. I was
satisfying a deep need for the man on the other side with the man currently
standing next to me.
The wrongness of the situation almost made me laugh, but I held it back in the
end with the simple strength of my arousal. Sending the horny beast next to me
away wouldn’t change anything. It would only prolong the torment and keep firm
the steel in my pants. No. I needed this; I needed the calmness again, the sensation
of release. I needed my life back.
Unlocking the door after that proved not to be a challenge, but still, finding the
house empty absolved me of guilt, and I led the groping man to my room.
Foreplay was something we’d started on the dance floor and had perfected by
the time the car stopped in front of the house. Now that we finally found ourselves
in the room, I was thrown on the bed, my weight bouncing on the clean sheets. His
pants were off by the time I looked up, and a monster of a cock pointed my way,
making me visibly shiver.
“Don’t worry, sweet thing, I’ll take it slow. For the first few seconds anyway.”
He laughed, roughening his already gravelly voice.
It’s been years since I gave my ass to anyone to ravage, and a sliver of doubt
peaked somewhere inside, but the vivid memory of my unreachable desire forced me
toward that long and wide rod.
I sat on the edge of the bed, reaching for those muscled, dark hips, and I pulled
him toward me, taking half of the monster in my mouth. The liquid that glistened
on the top tasted bitter, the flavor rubbing into the back of my throat with every
thrust.
He was careful, pushing only as much as I could handle, but trembling with
the effort of doing so. I sucked with a passion, struggling with the girth of it, and
still managed to elicit loud moans from the man above me. He was growing in the
heat of me; moving faster, but needing more. And once again I was pushed roughly
backward, my pants peeled off me with expertise as much as brute strength.
He climbed on top of me, hovering in all his sexy, dark glory, but still
managing not to touch any other part of me except my lips. The kiss was a savage
possession, giving me just enough to want more before my thighs were gripped in a
vise by his long fingers and spread wide. There wasn’t enough time to protest
because the next touch that connected with my skin was that of his tongue pushing
deep into the tight ring of my ass.
The thrashing started right away, my lips speaking of their own accord and
making no sense. I was throwing my head in all directions, pushing my ass onto
that pointy pleasure bringer, but also pulling back under the surges of such
exquisite sensations.
22 Valentina Heart
“Rubber, lube?” he asked, causing me to uncoordinatedly reach for the bedside

drawer.
I tried to open it once, twice, but in the end I only directed him toward it. He
took the supplies, coating himself with one hand and pushing the lubed fingers of
the other deep inside me. I groaned under the pressure and the sting, my arousal
making it all seem like a sweet pleasure.
He fucked me slowly, fingers circling in me, grazing that sensitive sweet spot,
and I was all but ready to burst. Without any warning, I was suddenly empty, but it
lasted only for the few seconds that were needed to push that huge cock in me.
His thrust was swift. One push placed his whole length in me. All I felt was
blinding pain, which I voiced with a glass-breaking scream. I tried pulling back in
those few seconds, tried to escape the agony; my limbs flapping uselessly, looking
for leverage, but finding none.
The nameless stranger pressed his body onto mine, kissing my neck and lips,
mumbling soft words of comfort and more importantly, not moving a muscle of his
lower body.
When the burn eased enough and his licks turned into nibbles, I pushed back
onto that length and moaned. It still felt as if he were splitting me in two, but there
were more sensations to be felt other than the pain, and those prevailed.
Easy thrusts soon became rough again, my moans evolved into half screams,
and I was getting exactly what I’d wanted. I was replacing Mikey. But really, I was
getting sexual release, easing the tension he’d built in me. And it still wasn’t the
way I would’ve done it with Mikey.
Mikey was too gentle to take me like this, nor would he want to be on the
giving end. He was made for sweet loving, where all his wishes came to pass.
My hips were leaving the sheets with every thrust, his sweat dripping on my
chest as I struggled for breath between my screams. I don’t know why I chose that
moment to open my eyes and look over the back of the man who was inside me, but
I did. Maybe it was fate, or maybe a case of bad luck. It doesn’t really matter. I
opened my eyes and saw Mikey.
His fingers were gripping my doorknob, almost too tight. His posture was stiff,
but it was his eyes that just undid me. They were completely unguarded, wide open,
and filled with immense hurt. He watched the man pound into me until his gaze
caught mine. There was a question in them, as clear as if he’d voiced it. Why him
and not me? Then the shadows, much like an impenetrable blind, descended over
his green irises and I couldn’t read anything more.
The door closed behind him just as the man gripped my cock and pulled
roughly. He bit the circle of my nipple and forced an orgasm out of me. I squeezed
him tight, feeling the heat of his seed as he filled the condom. The stranger roared
like a hunting beast above its prey and then collapsed on top of me.
I felt nothing like roaring. I’d hurt the person I’d sworn never to hurt, and
even though I had no more strength for fucking, it seemed as if I wasn’t fucked at
all. Despite all my tender bits, the wrong kind of feeling followed the whole sorry
experience.
My onetime adventure didn’t linger afterward. He kissed me sweetly and

smiled that lazy, satisfied smile while his fingers gently slid over my tender hole.
Then he was gone.
24 Valentina Heart
Chapter Four
“Do you wanna watch a movie with me?” I asked Mikey one night. It was
probably my tenth try to cajole him into an activity we just might do together.
Since that night when he’d seen me in bed with another guy, all our casual
conversations stopped. Mikey was usually nowhere to be seen or found, and his
smile became an even rarer sight.
“No, I have plans.” He didn’t even bother looking my way. Apparently even the
fridge held more interest for him than me.
“Mikey, I need to talk to you.” Maybe it was time to put things out in the open.
“I told you already, I have plans.” Still not looking at me.
“I don’t give a shit, cancel them,” I snapped, making sure the anger I felt was
reflected in my voice.
“Why should I?” Finally those green eyes found me. I felt as if I hadn’t seen
them in weeks.
“Because this can’t go on like this.” I toned down my voice into something a
little more tame.
“Why not?”
“Because it can’t. Stop acting like a fucking brat and talk to me. If you have a
problem, say something. Don’t go all self-righteous and avoid me. It doesn’t solve
anything, and it’s making us both miserable.” So much for my calm composure.
“You’re saying that I don’t have a right to be angry?” His lips thinned, and his
eyebrows furrowed. Oh, he was angry all right. Only my hormonally unbalanced self
found even that fuckably cute.
“I didn’t say that. I would be angry in your shoes too. But we need to talk
about this. I miss my friend.”
Was it just me, or did his face soften a little?
“Come on, come sit with me.” I almost pleaded, but it worked. He walked
toward me until he plopped down on the couch. Far enough away from me, but still
on the same piece of furniture. I took it as a small victory.
“What do you want to talk about?” And the ice was back.
“Anything, really, but I think we should deal with what’s bothering you first.
So scream at me, reason with me; hell, even seduce me. Anything but this pale
version that you’ve been giving me for the last few days.” I tried smiling, but
stopped when his expression remained unchanged.
“I don’t know what you want me to say. You’ve made it abundantly clear that
you don’t want anything to do with me, so I’ve stopped pestering you and focused on
my life. And again, you’re not happy.”
“I wanted you to focus your sexual advances on someone else, yes, but I never
wanted to lose a friend. It seems that I managed to do just that.”
“I never wanted you as just a friend; I wanted more from the first time I saw
you. But you said no.” There was a moment of silence as he thought about
something, his eyes clouded with emotion and his lips pushed out as if begging for a
kiss.
“You want to know what hurt more than your rejection or another man in your
bed?”
I nodded quickly, almost cramping my neck with the sudden move that
unintentionally served as a dispelling shower for my way too hot thoughts.
“The fact that he gave you something I never could. I can’t fuck you like that. I
don’t know how to force you down on your bed and just take you. I don’t think I even
want to. I want to be the one spread out, or held down… I can’t give you what you
26 Valentina Heart
need, and I still want you. How pathetic is that?” He smiled then, but it was only a
ghost of his usual smile, and it reflected more pain than any sort of joy.
I hated it. I hated the lack of happiness that always radiated from him these
days. I hated his feelings of inadequacy. It was all too frustrating and hurtful, but
still I was one of the bigger reasons why he was hurt at all. It seemed like such an
easy solution, where all I needed to do was kiss him and everything would work out,
everything would be just as it should be.
But the moment I allowed myself to daydream, to think about possibilities that
weren’t really possibilities, I got angry with myself. Giving that drop of hope either
to me or to him was the worst possible solution that would bring nothing good. So I
stayed quiet with my inner turmoil and looked for ways to reassure him, comfort
him, and to take things to the level they had been on before I had made such a
mess.
It was funny, the way I resolved everything in my head and still managed to
slip up with the real thoughts that cruised around in my mind.
“With us, it would be the other way around. I gave him what wasn’t already
yours to take.” The force of the blow my palm made as it slammed against my lips
was enough to leave red stinging marks on my face. That was the last thing I
wanted or needed to say.
Still, I couldn’t help but be partially glad for the smile he gifted me with on the
account of that one sentence. I’d admitted that I wanted him, that I thought about
him even when I was in bed with someone else. Just by saying it, I somehow made
his world all better again.
The change was almost palpable in the pressure that disappeared from the air
around him, in the special glow of his eyes, in the stiffness that suddenly left his
body, but the most noticeable change was visible in his contagious smile. No one
smiled like him, and no one’s dimples made me hard enough to pound nails.
“I guess I said more than was smart.”

“You do care about me!” he exclaimed and threw himself at me, hugging me
like an attention-deprived child. There was nothing sexual in it, which surprised
me, given the nature of our conversation, but I was more than happy to hold him, to
feel his warmth as well as that sense of belonging I so terribly missed.
“Of course I care about you. I keep telling you that.”
“Yeah, but now I also know that you want to fuck me!” Oh, that smile was sly,
and I wouldn’t have been able to avoid his lips if I wasn’t already prepared for him
trying to kiss me.
It was like everything else he did, where he tried to get in my pants no matter
the place or the time. He didn’t care if the situation was inappropriate or if I was
busy; if he saw a chance, he always took it.
I managed to twist my head so that his lips connected with my cheek, but he
just laughed playfully as if he’d expected such a thing and continued kissing the
side of my face, heading intently toward my neck and chest. I shivered even as I
tried to focus my thoughts to the subject at hand.
“You can’t possibly pretend that you didn’t notice the erection I’m sporting
every time you’re around?” I pushed my head back so that I could see his face
better. God, he had such a gorgeous face…
“Sometimes I did, but that didn’t mean anything. It might have been a
morning boner, or you might have been thinking about someone else. I didn’t really
know. But now I do. You wanna fuck me!” He smiled widely again, like I’d just
bought him a car instead of confessing that I wanted him.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it!” I willed my heartbeat to slow down, my cock
to soften, despite recognizing it for what it was—a losing battle.
“But I still don’t understand why you won’t fuck me. Would that be so bad?” He
was pouting, but in a cute way, and the temptation to kiss him was almost more
than I could bear. Only vaguely did I register his words, where fuck and bad were
spoken with the same breath, which when it came to Mikey, seemed simply
ungraspable.
28 Valentina Heart
“Because you need a friend more than you need a boyfriend, and I want to be
here if you need me. I don’t want to be just a casual fuck to be discarded when your
young body has had enough of me.” I put it out plainly, willing the conversation to
go away even as my cock took it all as bullshit and pressed painfully against my
pants. The latter reason held true more so than the former. The idea that he would
leave me just like he did all the others felt like a stab to the heart even as I thought
about it. Living it would be pure hell.
“I don’t think I could ever get enough of you. You’re just as stubborn as a
mule!” His fingers played so good with the curls on the back of my neck, and I kept
catching myself closing my eyes and leaning back into his touch. He was a pest, a
drug, an addiction… But what a sweet addiction it was.
“There is that…” I agreed when the feel of him so close became too much, and
my eyes gave up the struggle. But I still kept thinking how exactly long ever was in
his book.
It was too late by the time I realized what he had planned. My mind was
gushing with my overheated blood, and my eyes were blind to anything other than
the vision that was Mikey playing behind my closed eyelids. His lips were already
on top of mine, so gentle and soft, pushing for entrance, but being sweetly subtle
about it. I couldn’t think long enough to move away, so I ended up weakly giving in
to that sweet insistence. I moaned as soon as his knowing tongue touched mine. He
tasted sweet and wild, just the way he was in reality, melting me on the outside but
biting me from within.
The kiss was short and memorable, like an oasis in the desert of my dried-up
life, and I’ll never know from where the strength came that pulled me out of his
arms.
“You know I can’t give you that,” I said breathlessly. Cursing myself, but if it
was for giving in or for stopping, I was not clearheaded enough to know.
“I know.” His fingers were still touching the back of my neck and caressing my
jawline. “But it doesn’t mean that I’ll give up.” Despite his playful words, I caught
the hurt in his eyes just before he shielded his expression and assumed his usual,
careless Mikey posture.
I wished, like I had so many times before, to be able to trust him. Trust him
that his feelings ran as deep as mine did, and that his usual casualness with men
wouldn’t transfer to his relationship with me. But I held more preservation instincts
than I ever thought possible, and I couldn’t allow myself to rush foolishly into
something that had no long-term future.
We did end up watching a movie that night, our fingers playfully touching the
whole time. I wanted him more than ever, but it was the closeness that I really
missed when he was angry with me. I missed Mikey. But the one I missed was the
one I saw in little details of everyday life, not the one the rest of the world got to
know. There was a lot to my Mikey, and I had him back once more.
30 Valentina Heart
Chapter Five
Of course, some things were just too good to last. On the surface, nothing
changed in our “only friends” relationship, but there were enough of those subtle
differences to make me uncomfortable.
We were still close. The touches were there as well as the conversations, but on
some level, Mikey accepted my conditions of our friendship and slowly moved on. If
I’d felt like a friend where he was concerned, I wouldn’t have even blinked at his
sudden enthusiasm for meaningful sex. Unfortunately, my feelings surpassed those
of a friend. And despite my insistence that there couldn’t be anything more between
us, the jealousy I felt was more than real.
At first it made me frown every time I caught a glimpse of him and someone
who wasn’t me. Then I escalated to mocking like a child and sticking out my tongue
in the general direction of the new stud he brought home. It was all done in secret,
of course, in the privacy of my room, or as I unobtrusively hid behind a wall. But the
last stage was a harder thing to conceal.
I was angry. Plain and simple. I watched him as he got kissed by lips that
weren’t mine, as rough hands squeezed his ass in a way that wasn’t even close to
how good I could make it feel. The worst of my tantrums I still had in private,
where remotes crashed against the wall and glass objects disappeared without a
trace. It was the look in my eyes that betrayed me to Mikey, the stiffness of my
spine when I saw a threat in another man.
Only, he never said a word. He noticed probably more than I even knew, but
he kept it to himself, still acting as he always did and introducing me to the latest
man I had no desire to meet. Because let’s face it, there was just one person I could
see Mikey with, and that one person was me.
***
“It’s very nice to meet you. I’m John.” A gorgeous Asian man extended his
hand in my direction.
I took it, secretly enjoying the firm grip and also wondering how great, exactly,
he must be in bed. His hair was jet-black and fell messily into his eyes, eyes that
stared at me almost seductively. He was taller than me, something I wasn’t
expecting, and the muscles that puffed out his chest had me all but salivating.
It was only Mikey’s voice that snapped me from my lust, and I found myself
paying attention to his words.
“This is Kyle. He’s my roommate, landlord, and best friend,” he said proudly,
secretly gazing at me as if he was afraid that I might not approve.
“I’m sorry; I got distracted there for a minute. It’s very nice to meet you.”
“I know! He’s stunning, isn’t he?” Mikey exclaimed as he draped himself

against John’s side.
I struggled not to blush. “Yes, he is quite attractive.” With a smile, I let the
desire plainly show in my eyes.
“Thank you.” John’s cheeks lost the fight, and a beautiful pink shine colored
them.
I liked the guy right away, especially because he was the first man Mikey
brought home that I approved of. Not only that, he was someone I wouldn’t have
minded having for myself. And that was also the problem.
John was the first one who had a chance of having something permanent with
Mikey. He was funny, caring, had a job, and was more than nice to look at. It was
much harder to hold a grudge against someone who was nice, but it also didn’t
mean that my jealousy had a logical point of origin.
32 Valentina Heart
“You’re the reason he’s been so distracted these past couple of weeks?” I tried
for friendly, not wanting to scare the man away with emotions I had no right to.
“I’m sorry. He’s just so amazing; I can’t imagine having free time and not
spending it with him.” That earned him a kiss from Mikey, who stood on his toes
and only managed to reach the edge of John’s jaw.
“Keep him happy. I don’t want to be forced to take some drastic measures if
things don’t work out.” I winked at him, causing Mikey’s jaw to drop, but John
acknowledged me with a simple nod of understanding.
I left them that day, with the goodness of my heart wishing Mikey all the
happiness in the world, but with the selfishness of it hoping for a short-lasting
affair.
The turning point in their relationship was probably that one time when I saw
them together in the house. I walked inside, dead tired from work, and was greeted
only by the lighted screen of the television. We both had television sets in our
rooms, but Mikey and his date were leaning comfortably against each other on the
living room couch. Mikey was practically sitting in John’s lap, touching the back of
his neck. The same way he’d touched mine that one time.
Shivers ran through my body at the mere memory of that kiss, and I was
drowning in envy as I watched them together. John was sitting in my place, having
at his disposal all that I wanted to have, all that I so desperately needed. But that
anger lasted only a few seconds, because I tragically remembered whose decision it
was to leave things the way they currently were.
“Kyle! You’re home! Do you wanna sit with us and watch a movie?” Mikey’s
head popped over the back of the couch as he saw me.
“No. I’m too tired. You two should enjoy yourself without an old man
intruding.” I headed toward the stairs right away, trying to escape what was bound
to be a torturous night of me hiding my erection and John wishing I was somewhere
in a ditch strangled and invisible. Well, the part about me was true anyway. I had
no idea what John was thinking, other than what my thoughts would be in his
position.
Of course, Mikey wouldn’t be Mikey if he didn’t detach himself from the warm
confines of John’s hug and run after me. “No, you have to stay. I barely see you
anymore. I miss you.”
Who could say no to that? I missed him too, and when he asked so nicely, a
pack of wolves wouldn’t be enough to keep me away. So I dragged my tired body to
the living room, intending on sitting in the armchair, away from the cuddling
couple, but Mikey was having none of that. He pulled me toward the couch they sat
on and kept holding my hand.
“You see, this guy in a red shirt is trying to kill these two cops, but they keep
escaping every time, and it’s pissing him off big-time,” he clued me in right away.
“Oh, did you see that? I never even saw it coming!” He pulled my hand toward
him, intent on the movie, but still talking to me. His touch was like a shot of energy
directed at my groin, and for me the heat in front of that television instantly
doubled.
“That is so unrealistic! The only thing they didn’t do is use a machine gun on
him, and the guy is still walking! Come on!” I was pulled another inch closer, and if
Mikey noticed my sudden stiffness or the drops of pained sweat on my upper lip, he
made no show of it.
“Do you think they’ll catch him eventually?”
“Probably,” I murmured, feeling uncomfortable, especially when my shoulder

ventured into the touching distance of John’s hand that rested on Mikey’s neck. Not
good.
“They have to catch him, it’s that kind of a movie,” John chipped in, like he’d
done a few times before.
“You don’t have to go spoiling it right away.” Mikey pouted, making me feel
even more embarrassed, especially when the next question was also directed at me.
34 Valentina Heart
“You think we could go for a cup of coffee someplace tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. We’ll talk about it in the morning. I’m too tired to think right
now. I’m just gonna go to bed, and you can tell me what happened in the movie
some other time.” I extracted myself from his grasping hands, hiding my erection
from their intent gaze, and all but ran toward my room.
I thought I heard John say “About damn time,” but it could have easily been
my imagination, as I felt guilty enough the way it was.
Still, it felt kind of good to know that Mikey cared enough about me and
missed me so much that his boyfriend fell out of the picture when he saw me.
What I didn’t know then and was told later was how that night was the
beginning of an end. Only a week later, I had a lump of crying Mikey in my arms on
the same couch.
“He left me…” Mikey sobbed, still not managing to tell me the reason John had
split, even after an hour of incessant heartache.
“He must have had a reason, sweetie,” I tried for the hundredth time, not
really expecting an answer. “He was a great guy, but no matter the reason, if he left
you, then he doesn’t know what he let escape him.”
“He said I was self-centered and didn’t care about him at all. That he was just
a convenient pawn to make you jealous.” His sobs subsided only enough to let him
speak but became louder as he snuggled back into the curve of my shoulder.
“Were you?” And I was genuinely curious. They’d looked happy together, even
though John was too serious for Mikey, but then again, everyone was too serious for
Mikey.
“Was I what?” He sniffed.
“Were you dating him to make me jealous?”
“No!” He sat up, his palms holding him away as he pressed them against my
chest. Then he cocked his head. “Maybe, a little. But only at first,” he hastened to
reassure me. “He was great. I really liked him. I’ve never been with anyone for so
long. Two months is almost an eternity.”
I had to smile despite myself. Only Mikey would call two months an eternity.
“So why did he think you were trying to make me jealous?”
His head found its way back to my chest as he spoke. “He said that if you were
around, I always cared more about your opinion than his, and how it wasn’t normal
to touch you more than I touched him when the both of you were in the room. I
didn’t know I did that.”
“Well, sweetie, you kind of do,” I mumbled back, frowning. I hated to agree
with John, but he was right, and what was worse, I would have minded if I were
him too.
“But that’s the way we are! I always touch you and hug you and kiss you. I
love you! Besides, you’ve seen me naked before I even knew John!” He was suddenly
all animated, trying to explain something that came naturally to him, but wasn’t
understood by others.
“Honey, relationships don’t usually work that way. When you’re serious about
someone, it means that only that person gets to see you naked, and there isn’t
anyone else in the world you would rather touch than him.” I caressed his face as I
explained.
“Really?” He sounded like a kid again, and it only reminded me why I fought
the connection between us so bad. Thinking about him with another man while I
patiently waited at home had me seeing red, and I was positive that I couldn’t
handle feeling that way all the fucking time.
“Yes. Really.”
“Then it really is my fault that he left me.” His eyes teared up again, and I had
to do something to comfort him.
36 Valentina Heart
“I know it hurts, baby, but if you didn’t feel that way about him, it means he
wasn’t the one for you. Now you can look for the real one.” I moved the hair that
covered his face.
“But the only person I feel that way about is you.” There was such honesty in
him, and love… I saw the love, and of all the things it could have done to me, it
freaked me out. If he felt the same way about me as I felt about him, and he was
serious about it, it meant that all my self-imposed distance was unnecessary, and I
could have spared myself all those months of torture.
That was also the only explanation I could think of for what I said next. “No,
baby. I know you love me, but you love me as a friend. When you meet the right
person, you’ll see the difference between feelings for a friend and those for a life
partner.”
It was a complete lie, because I was pretty sure that he did love me more than
one loved a friend, and I knew for a fact that what I felt went beyond feelings I
could ever harbor for a friend, but loving and committing were two very different
things, and as much as I was ready for such a leap, he was not.
“If you say so…” he agreed, something the Mikey I knew would have never
done, but the wounded person in my lap was too emotional to argue. He’d gotten
dumped, probably for the first time in his life, by someone he actually cared for.
I was happy to be a friend to him then, to be someone to hold him and

encourage him. Someone he could come to when all others weren’t enough. I was the
one who put him back on his feet and gave him the boost he needed to get back into
the game.
Even if I desperately wanted to be the main player in that game he so loved to

play.
Chapter Six
He mourned, for lack of a better word, John for close to a month, spending
time with me and going to the clubs only to dance. I heard him in the late mornings
as he moaned his single-handed orgasms, and I heard him at night when they were
accompanied by shouted release-induced words.
We played that game where we stayed away from each other at our worst,
pretending that we were just friends, but screaming each other’s names in the
privacy of our rooms.
I was well acquainted with my palm, as it was the only company I’d had since
that stranger pushed his monster inside me. I still felt guilty about that and had
avoided other men, partially not to anger Mikey again, but mostly because I wasn’t
able to imagine myself with anyone else except Mikey.
On the other hand, I knew Mikey was hurt and maybe even a little scared of
giving his heart to someone else, but it still wasn’t like him to spend so much time
without sex. Mikey always had someone, whether it was friends who scratched an
itch or nameless strangers, or even boyfriends for a week. Mikey always had
someone, but still he was alone for weeks, shouting my name behind closed doors
even as I screamed his on late, lonely nights.
Like all things, that also was bound to change. And it did. After a weekend of
late-night dancing and a week of after-midnight arrivals, I met Steve.
“I want you to meet my friend first,” Mikey said, blond jock in tow, as he
caught me one night in front of the television. “We’re very close, so if you have a
problem with that, you have to tell me.” He was speaking to Steve without even
introducing us first.
38 Valentina Heart
“I don’t have a problem with it,” Steve said. “Hi, I’m Steve,” he said, sticking
out his hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
I took his hand, not really liking the glint in his eyes, but dismissing it as a
trick of the lighting. “Kyle. I’m happy that Mikey finally found someone worthy of
his attention.”
Mikey simply beamed at my words, his palms pressed firmly against each
other in front of his crotch and a smile warm enough to melt icebergs.
“Yeah, Mikey is amazing. I can’t believe my luck.” Steve looked at him with
something close to adoration.
“So, you boys want me to give you some privacy?” I asked to be polite, trying
really hard not to imagine Mikey snuggled against all those muscles.
“No, that’s okay, we’ll just go to his room. You have a nice evening.” Steve
grinned my way as he pulled Mikey to the back of the house and toward Mikey’s
room.
I sat back down, a little stunned and far from my previous mood. I turned up
the volume of the movie, completely uninterested in watching it after that
introduction. I was once again just a friend, and someone else was in Mikey’s room,
doing all the things I wanted to do.
The television did only so much to drown out the sounds coming from down the
hall. I heard grunts and what sounded like screams, Mikey’s screams. It almost had
me going into his room, but the unmistakable banging of his headboard against the
wall had me rooted to my seat. I’d heard a lot of Mikey’s adventures over the
months he lived with me, but never once did he sound as if he was in pain.
Not wanting to intrude on what was obviously a wild experience, I decided to

ask Mikey about it in the morning. Just then, I heard him cry out and half moan as
he obviously came.
With the worry pushed away, I went to my own room and had my pants down
around my ankles before I knew what I was doing. All it took were a couple of dry
pulls, and I bucked above the bed, catching myself on one hand while the other still
held my softening cock.
***
Steve wasn’t one of those boyfriends who would hang around the house a lot
while I was there, so I figured that this time, there was no danger of a breakup
because Mikey was touching me a lot. On the other hand, it also meant that I saw
very little of Mikey. At night when he would drag himself inside, he looked so worn-
out and tired that I didn’t have the heart to ask him what was happening.
Some nights I would peek inside his room to find him sprawled on the bed in
his clothes. I would wake him up and wait until he got dressed for bed so that he
could rest as he should, but also for a selfish reason. I loved tucking him in and
giving him that good-night kiss.
Almost a month had passed before I got the chance to spend more than a
fleeting moment with him. I woke up on a Sunday, already prepared for another
boring day, planning to call one of my friends for some company. Even a cup of
coffee somewhere would do wonders for my solitude. I’d gotten too comfortable since
Mikey moved in. Our free time was always spent together watching movies, talking,
or he was finding new ways to seduce me.
I took a shower, not bothering with a shave, and went to the kitchen where I
stopped in my tracks. Mikey was sitting on one of our bar stools. His weight was
balanced forward, and he was cradling a cup of what I guessed was coffee.
So much time had passed since I last saw him that I took a minute to really
look at him. The first thing I noticed was the excess of clothes. I always kept the
house temperature high because he liked to walk around practically naked. It didn’t
matter what time of year it was; if Mikey had more than his shorts or pants on, it
meant that he was going out.
Now he was fully clothed except for his feet, which were hooked around the
connecting bar of the stool. He wasn’t planning on going anywhere. At least, not
that I knew of. Mikey didn’t do long sleeves, ever. That’s what jackets were for, he’d
40 Valentina Heart
say. Yet now a shirt covered his wrists as well as his neck. Looking back, I realized
that the few times I had seen him in the past month as he was leaving the house or
coming in, he was always fully clothed. Nevertheless, I soon dismissed that fact,
thinking how Steve probably wanted him to be presentable when they were in
public.
His hair was longer too, softly caressing the back of his neck, and the thing
that wasn’t as noticeable under all those clothes was his weight. He was visibly
thinner, despite all the clothes he had on.
“How come you’re home?” I finally asked as I took two steps toward him.
Instead of a warm smile and a seductive line, he stiffened first and then
relaxed.
“Steve had to go see his parents. He goes once a month.” There was no
playfulness in his tone, so I assumed he was simply tired again.
“And you didn’t go with him,” I said as I circled the counter and sat down at
the table.
“He’s in the closet. When it comes to his family, anyway. They all live on the
other side of the country, and he doesn’t want to stress them unnecessarily.”
This was the first time I’d seen his face all week. It shocked me at first glance.
His eyes were small and tired, with big dark circles noticeable beneath them. The
corners of his lips were actually pointing downward, which I never thought possible
for someone who smiled as much as Mikey did.
“So what are you doing today? Going out tonight with your other friends?”
“No. Steve told me to get some rest today, so I’ll be in the house. Unless I’m a
bother to you?” He looked at me. “I could go someplace else, I guess.” His eyes
looked scared, as if he expected me to throw him out.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked, my tone a little louder than usual, and he
flinched like I’d struck him.
“I’ll go.” He was already off the stool and heading toward his bedroom.
I jumped after him. “Hey, hey! I was asking if you’re out of your mind! I
haven’t seen you for more than a month—if we don’t count those few fleeting
moments—and now you expect me to send you away! Are you insane? I missed you
like crazy!”
He still had his back turned to me, but the way his whole body took a breath
and relaxed was more than visible. “I thought that you didn’t want me here
anymore,” he whispered.
My jaw went slack as I stood there, completely out of the loop, but I did cross
the distance between us and hugged him from behind. “Don’t ever think such a
thing. I always want you around. You’re my best friend. Remember? I’ve missed you
so bad.” I pressed a kiss to the side of his neck and felt him sink into my body. We
fit together perfectly, and Mikey’s body never doubted that fact, even when Mikey
himself lost his way.
“Let’s go to bed, let me hold you for a few hours,” I whispered next to his ear,
and he nodded, leading the way.
***
With Mikey gone so much from the house, I busied myself with work. Taking
more jobs than usual, spending as many hours out as I could. The house felt empty,
so much so that I sometimes imagined that I could hear Mikey talking to me from a
distance, singing out of sync and making me laugh.
Another two weeks passed before I got the chance to see him again. I came
home early, already planning on going out later that night, when I caught him in
the kitchen with just a towel around his waist.
I would’ve been all hot and bothered with seeing him like that if other things
hadn’t caught my eye first. He was skinny, not unhealthy skinny, but at least
twenty pounds lighter than before, and it showed. But it was the bruises that
stopped me in my tracks.
42 Valentina Heart
One was long and ugly, stretching along his side as if it were made by some
kind of a bar. Another one was showing from the underside of his arm, and the third
one covered the middle of his calf.
I must have made some kind of a sound, because he turned, half a sandwich in
his hand, and stopped chewing. His gaze instantly dropped to the floor, and he
mumbled something intangible, placed the sandwich back on the plate, and all but
ran toward his room.
I would have stopped him if not for the shock of another bruise I saw that had
marred his stomach and was an extension of the one on his arm. He looked like he’d
gotten jumped and someone beat the hell out of him.
The soft click of his door brought me back to the moment, and I rushed toward
his room, not bothering with knocking. He turned around fast and picked up the
towel that was lying at the bottom of his feet, but I still got a nice view of his ass.
An ass that was marked with small circular bruises. What kind of bruises were left
perfectly aligned? That’s when I figured it out. They were fingertips. Someone had
squeezed him hard enough to leave those ugly marks.
He was wrapped up again, his face and neck flushed, his eyes looking
everywhere but at me.
“What happened to you?”
He flinched again, not saying anything, but not looking at me either.
“Was it Steve? Are you still with him? Or should I go and kill someone else
who dared to put a finger on you?” I asked quietly, all the anger simmering just
below the surface, but still infusing my voice with enough malice.
“No, no one hit me. I fell,” he whispered with a voice that was even quieter
than mine.
“Don’t lie to me, Mikey!” I yelled, only making him flinch again and wrap his
arms around his torso in such a protective way that I wanted to kick myself.
“I’m not lying. This one on my arm is from him. I tripped, and he tried to catch
me.”
“Where did you trip?”
“We were coming out of a club one night, and I fell over the steps. He grabbed
my arm, but I was sweaty, and my arm slipped out. I almost pulled him with me.”
He was still holding himself and not looking at me, but the story could have been
true. I couldn’t believe that Mikey would lie to me for someone like Steve. For
anyone, really.
“And those on your ass?” My tone was vicious, but I couldn’t help myself.
He blushed all over again, his fingers digging into his skin.
“Those are from sex,” he whispered.
“Mikey. Look at me.” I waited for him to lift his head, for his gaze to find mine.
“Are you telling me that Steve isn’t beating you?”
“Steve is not beating me,” Mikey said with a flat tone, not wavering once. He
looked me in the eye, and he lied.
Of course, I didn’t know that until later.

44 Valentina Heart
Chapter Seven
Despite my believing Mikey’s explanation for the bruises, I started making it a

point to come home unexpectedly. Mostly I found the house empty, but once in a
while I would catch Mikey in one of the rooms, as skittish as before and always with
his eyes on the floor.
I didn’t pressure him or try to pull some explanations from him, but I stayed
close, hugging him and telling him how much I cared for him, how I would always
be there if he needed me. Some days he relaxed right away. Some days it took
hours. But by the time we parted, he would look more like the Mikey I used to
know.
I’m not an idiot who doesn’t see the obvious; mostly I’m just an idiot who trusts
people, even when everything points to them being liars. I knew something was
wrong in Mikey’s world, but naively, I waited for him to tell me himself.
What happened instead ended up being quite dramatic. I came home one day
just after lunch, thinking about my afternoon appointments and looking forward to
seeing Mikey. I wasn’t even out of my car when I heard the argument from inside.
“I don’t know why I put up with you! You’re such an ugly queen, always
flaunting your body in front of others!” Steve’s voice was filled with enough anger
and disgust to make my skin crawl.
“I didn’t. I’m wearing everything you told me to, I swear.” Mikey’s pleading
tones had my already boiling temper bubbling some more.
“Liar! You were shaking your ass for those men in the store! I was right there!
Who wants to see your fat ass and your feminine ways in broad daylight? You’ve
embarrassed me!”
I was going to kill him.
“I won’t ever do it again. I promise!”
There was a hitch in his voice, and I knew that he was crying.
I was by the door, trying to unlock it, when Steve’s voice changed into
something cold and threatening. I couldn’t get in fast enough.
“You said that the last time. I guess I’ll just have to discipline you again.”
I heard an echo of a loud slap, and Mikey’s whimper. The son of a bitch was
hitting my Mikey.
“Bitches like you never learn!” Steve growled.
I managed to open the door just as his fist connected with Mikey’s face. I ran
toward them, everything suddenly happening in slow motion, and I could hear
Mikey’s cry as he fell to the floor. I saw Steve kick him in the gut as Mikey
helplessly covered his face.
I was too late to stop all of it from happening, but I wasn’t too late to make
sure it never happened again. Steve was an inch or two shorter than me, but
bulkier in size. If I’d met him somewhere on the street, I would have avoided
conflict, because it wasn’t my way to solve anything with fists. But he was in my
house, beating up the man I loved with all my heart, and I was a gay black man
who didn’t always have it easy.
Ten years before, I would have solved it all by a memorable lesson involving a
knife or a gun. But now I grabbed his arm as he prepared to kick Mikey again, and I
spun him around. He didn’t even see my fist before he was down on the ground with
a bloody nose.
My anger was a blinding thing, something I’d learned to control in most

situations but which could always come back with a vengeance. Seeing Steve hit
Mikey deleted all my restraints, and before I even knew what I was doing, I found
myself sitting on Steve, pinning his arms with my knees and hitting him with all
46 Valentina Heart
my might. My blows were precise and forceful, throwing his head from one side to
the other as drops of blood sprayed over the wooden floor.
I would have killed him. There was no doubt about it. In my mind, the moment
he laid his hand on my Mikey, he was a dead man. But familiar hands wrapped
around me from behind, and I vaguely heard Mikey speaking to me.
“I need you, Kyle. Hold me, please. I need you so bad.”
I don’t know if anything could have torn me away from the bleeding man
beneath me, but Mikey’s voice did.
I turned around quickly and wrapped my arms around his fragile frame, Steve
completely forgotten as we stood and walked over to the couch.
I lifted his shirt, and he insistently pushed it back down. I needed to see that
he was all right. When my patience ran out with his refusal to let me see, I ripped
the shirt in half. I saw where Steve had kicked him, and it didn’t match the
excessive bruising on his chest and stomach. There were teeth marks too, and
bruises in all shades from dark blue and almost black to some purple and yellowish
ones. Some places had almost red discolorations that looked especially scary on his
tender white skin.
I could have stomached the bruise already forming on Mikey’s cheek, I could
have even handled that kick Steve administered, but the sight before me couldn’t be
excused.
Steve was coughing and moaning on my living room floor, drawing the last
thing he needed, my attention, to him again. I was up and around the couch in a
blur, my foot connecting with his torso on the floor. Mikey was holding me again,
saying words I was beyond understanding, but once again, he took priority. I had no
will or the time to spend it on the scum that kept tainting my floor, as well as the
air I breathed. I hauled him up by his biceps, gripping the back of his neck as soon
as he gingerly stood on his own feet.
I had neither sympathy nor understanding for his pains and apologies. I
dragged him toward the front door and kicked him out none too gently.
“You come near him even one more time, and you won’t be breathing again.
Touch him, and you will wish you were dead!” I stared into Steve’s frightened face
and meant every single word.
Not sparing him another glance, I slammed the door in his face and took
Mikey’s hand. He’d been standing two steps behind me, frightened. He flinched
again, but I knew the reason now, and it only made me angrier. I took him to the
bathroom, where I gently leaned him on the edge of the sink.
Getting on my knees wasn’t a hardship. I would crawl for Mikey, but this one
time, it served as a centering tool. I took two deep breaths and pushed every
thought about Steve and my own stupidity out of my mind. I needed to focus on
Mikey, on his healing first, and then on fixing the damage Steve had caused during
the months I was too blind to see what had been happening.
I slowly took off his shoes, silently ignoring his protests that he should be the
one kneeling on the floor beneath me. Then I unzipped his pants and lowered them
gently down together with his briefs, pretending not to see the nasty bruises that
marred his thighs, or the way his hip bones stuck out due to his drastic weight loss.
His hands found their way to the front of his body as he shyly tried to hide his
nudity from me, and probably the blue bruises that prevailed on his beautiful, soft
skin too.
I took his palms in mine as I stood up, slowly drawing his hands away from his
amazing body, and looked into his eyes without any hesitation whatsoever. “Don’t
ever hide from me, baby,” I said softly. “I love your body, I love your skin, I love your
smile that’s been missing from your face lately. There is nothing here you haven’t
already flashed my way, and nothing that I didn’t like the first time around. These
bruises will heal, and we’ll put back the weight you’ve lost. Please, don’t hide from
me.”
He tried to desperately pull his palms from mine a few times, blushing and
lowering his head farther down with every compliment I gave him. But the last
thing I said made him speak, despite his embarrassment.
48 Valentina Heart
“I don’t wanna put on weight. I’m fat as it is.”
Controlling the anger that overwhelmed me, I schooled my expression and

lifted his chin high up in the air, so he had to look me in the eye. “You were never
fat, baby, and now you’re too skinny for your own skin. You have bones sticking out
that shouldn’t be seen, and all that beautiful muscle mass that had me on my knees
months ago, salivating, suffered under what you put your body through. You’ll ruin
your health, and I don’t think I can live without you.” My words kept softening as I
spoke; there was no helping it. I loved the man in front of me, and seeing him so
hurt and vulnerable was breaking my heart.
“I could never be a model the way I am now. People stare at me when we go

out, seeing all the fat that I can’t hide, even when I wear long sleeves.” He almost
sobbed as he hid his face from me again.
“First of all, that’s not true. You could have been a model before, and you can
still be one. You’re gorgeous. But let me ask you something else—do you wanna be a
model?”
The question caught him unprepared, and he took a minute to think about it.
“No, not really. That’s what Steve always talked about.” He trailed off, lost in his
own thoughts.
“There you go. That also brings me to the second thing, why people stare at
you. If they’re anything like me, they stare at you because you’re beautiful. Didn’t
people look at you before? I remember you picking up strays every time you blinked
these wild green eyes of yours in their direction. Why would that be any different
now? I suppose the other reason they stare at you now is because of the way you
act.”
I took him into the shelter of my arms then, hugging him as I squeezed my
eyes shut. “You flinch, baby, when you’re touched. You have this fear in your eyes
when someone is speaking too loud, or when someone passes you without you seeing
the person first. You even flinch when someone wants to shake your hand. People
notice these things, strangers want to help you, and those who knew you before are
wondering what happened to the happy, flirting Mikey all of us adore.”
He put his arms around my body and pressed harder against me, letting the
sobs rock his frame. He cried inconsolably as I smoothed his hair, as I slid my hands
up and down his body, wishing things were the way they’d been before, but
prepared to do anything to make sure they were better now than they had been.
We could have easily stood there for days, as time stopped at that moment, but
it was probably only a better part of an hour in which he needed to find some
semblance of peace. And I was happy to give him that.
I gently moved his body away from me, looking into his eyes, and gently wiped
the tears that still remained beneath them. “I’m gonna wash you now, Mikey. Just
relax and don’t think about anything. There will be enough time for thinking.”
I never let go of his hand, even when I took off my shirt or unzipped my pants.
I always made sure we had that security of a touch between us. I took him into the
shower stall and stood in my shorts behind him, avoiding anything sexual despite
my body’s reaction to the closeness of his.
The water was warm, which helped to visibly relax his sore muscles, and when
I started to gently soap him, he simply let go and let me. He closed his eyes and
allowed me to wash him. Using slow and steady touches, I washed his hairless body
with utmost care. The difference between the dark skin of my hands against the
pale softness of his made me tremble for a moment, before I found my center once
more. I wanted him to feel safe; I wanted all the bad things to get washed away by
the soothing water.
I led him like a child, always comforting him with an innocent touch or a warm
word. I wrapped him in a big soft towel in the middle of the bathroom, standing
behind him long enough to shuck off my shorts and wrap a smaller one around me.
He didn’t protest or ask questions. He trusted me to take care of him, and I

was prepared to do anything to bring him back to me, the Mikey I knew and loved.
50 Valentina Heart
I put us to bed, not bothering with taking off the towels. I just put the covers
over us and wrapped myself around him. “Sleep, baby, you need it. I’ll be here when
you wake up and every minute of every day from here forward. I’m never letting you
go again.” I kissed his brow affectionately, then waited for his body to sink into the
soft covers and for dreams to carry him away.
Chapter Eight
Staring into his beautiful face and seeing his long lashes flutter had my heart
beating just a notch faster. The morning after, or in this case, late afternoon, could
be tricky. I didn’t know what would happen. He could hug me closer, like the old
Mikey would have done, or he could yell at me for getting rid of his boyfriend. Or he
could just blame me for not seeing what was there in the first place.
God only knew it was all my fault. If I had embraced his affection from the
start, there wouldn’t have been any Johns or Steves, there wouldn’t have been any
tears or bruises. But Mikey had to surprise me, just like he always did.
He sat straight up in bed, his breathing a rushed jumble of panic. He gripped

the covers tightly against his chest, and I could see that he didn’t yet remember
what had happened. I didn’t want to move, in case I spooked him, because that
reaction couldn’t end well. He took a moment to assess the situation. His memory
must have been triggered, though, because he turned toward me in a flash, his eyes
wide with surprise.
There was a second when I saw something wild in that look, something that
took me back to that time when Mikey stripped for me daily, when his every action
had hidden motives. But as quickly as it came, it was gone, leaving a frightened
little boy sitting before me, his eyes downcast, every single muscle in his body as
taut as a bowstring.
“I’m sorry… I…” He rasped out the words and stopped without finishing his
thought.
52 Valentina Heart
“Baby, you have nothing to be sorry for. Do you want to come back here and let
me hold you?” I held out my hands and looked at him expectantly. He held all the
cards, and I was at his mercy.
There was indecision there, in his eyes and on his face, along with insecurity,
some doubt, but most of all, fear. Mikey wanted to be next to me, but was too scared
of his own shadow.
“Nothing bad is gonna happen,” I said, trying to coax him near. “I’m just gonna
hug you and keep you safe for as long as you want. We don’t even have to talk.”
His insecurity wavered, and as slowly as he possibly could, he lowered himself

back down. I stayed as still as was humanly possible, until his cheek touched my
shoulder, and then I gently wrapped my arms around him and kissed the top of his
head.
Mikey’s fingers strayed innocently to my chest and absently played with my

sparse hair there, much the same as mine danced against his naked back. His skin
was as soft as ever, and he was still gorgeous, despite all the damage his body had
sustained.
“I’m sorry I never told you,” he whispered.
“Shhh… Baby, it’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. He won’t touch you
ever again.” I lifted my fingers all the way to his hair, caressed him, then pressed
him closer to my body.
“You’re not gonna throw me out?” There was that doubt again.
“I would never do that, Mikey. Didn’t you see who I threw out of here?” I
smiled, trying to make it a little bit easier for him.
There was a long pause as he thought about it, but eventually he did speak. “I
thought you were gonna kill him.”
“I’m not going to lie to you, Mikey. I was close. You’re probably the one who
stopped me.” It was as if all the tension from him passed to me. I had no idea how
he was going to react to the confession that I had such violence in me that I was
capable of killing a man.
“But why? He didn’t do anything to you.”
He sounded so surprised that I almost separated us enough to see his face. But
at the last moment, I decided against it. I was scared of what he might see in mine.
“Isn’t it obvious why? He hurt you. I love you, baby. And he hurt you. The
things he said to you… I would have maimed him just for that. You should have told
me sooner. But when he hit you… I wasn’t aware of my actions anymore. Not like a
normal person is, anyway. He hurt the man I love, and I needed to hurt him back.”
For once there wasn’t wild emotion behind my words, no involuntary slipups or
blind comfort. I said exactly what I meant to say and exactly what I felt.
“You love me?” He lifted his head and looked into my eyes.
It was so obvious that he would catch that one sentence out of everything I’d
told him. But there was nothing else left to hide. I’d tried to protect him, and it all
ended like shit. I tried to protect myself at the cost of his well-being, and that was
all kinds of wrong. No broken heart is worth causing harm to someone you love. And
it was a lesson I was bound to learn the hard way.
Seeing Mikey hurt was like waking up from hypnosis, filled with ridiculous
delusions that getting dumped was worse than experiencing the delight a wanted
relationship could induce. I’d let my fear rule my mind and denied myself that
which I craved the most. Words like idiot and fool could never express just how
illogical my own reasoning was.
Thanks to me, Mikey got hurt in more ways than one, and it was a direct
result of my unnecessary protectiveness of us both. I seriously doubted that a
relationship with me would be as bad as everything else that had happened when I
denied our feelings.
“Of course I love you. You already know that. How could I not love you?” I
asked him back and watched his face fall almost instantly.
54 Valentina Heart
“Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” I took hold of his chin with my fingers and forced
him to look back into my eyes.
“You love me just like you always loved me. Like a friend, right?” There was
such despair in his tone that I wanted to kick myself. No, beat myself as bad as I
beat Steve!
“No. That is not what I meant. Look, Mikey, I have to confess something to
you. It’s pretty bad, and I’ll understand if you don’t want to have anything to do
with me anymore. Don’t worry about a thing. I have enough money to take care of
you and fix everything so that you don’t have to worry about living expenses, and
you won’t have to see me ever again.” I was getting ahead of myself, and I could
sense the tension in him at my words. He was holding himself back, expecting the
worst.
“I wanted to tell you that I lied, before. I told you that I loved you, but that we
could only be friends. That’s not exactly true.” I expelled a big breath. This was
harder than I’d thought it would be, laying all of my feelings out in the open. “I love
you much more than that. I think I loved you from the very beginning, but you’re so
young and wild that I didn’t see you satisfied with someone as boring as me. Also,
the biggest reason why I held back was of a completely selfish nature. You like
variety, and I don’t blame you. Not at all. But what I want is something solid and
something long-term. I want you for years to come, and I want you all for myself.
I’m deeply sorry that I doubted your commitment in that regard, and that I
considered you nothing more than a player.” I spilled my guts with such shame and
hurt, I could feel tears stinging behind my eyes. I deserved nothing less than scorn
and hate from him, but even despite that, I hoped for forgiveness.
His face was guarded, his posture stiff. I wanted to shield him from myself,
comfort him after the hurt I caused him, but that same fear that kept me away,
forced me to try and pull away.
Only Mikey had a different course of action in mind. He caught my hand and
brought me close, his eyes guarded but his face as serious as I’ve ever seen it.
“You say you thought of me as so many others do, that I’m nothing more than
a slut who jumps from one bed to the next. Someone incapable of loyalty and
devotion, and someone who wants nothing more than sex.”
I tried pulling away again, but his grip only hardened, his eyes the color of
coldest steel, ready to pierce my wavering heart.
“But if that’s true, why did you stand by me after every fuckup, hold me after
my every bruised feeling? Why were you my friend when I wasn’t worth the time or
the friendship?”
I trembled under his gaze, uncertain of the course of our conversation and
more than a little afraid.
“No. You don’t consider me worthless or below yourself. I know you just as
much as you know yourself. And you never thought badly of me. You really
appreciated our friendship, even when you pushed away this heat between us.” He
looked at me then, with a hint of the true Mikey in his gaze, and I knew he wanted
an explanation. I fearfully continued with my confession.
“I never once thought badly of you. Even though I saw you as someone who
would eventually hurt me, I accepted your nature a long time ago. I love you for
everything that you are. But I was too afraid to put my heart on the line when
everything pointed to you leaving me all too soon. Besides, I thought you needed a
friend more than you needed a lover. I mean, you have more than enough lovers
around and no friends. At least, none that I’ve ever met. I wanted to be there for you
without my jealousy or lectures about proper behavior. You are perfect just the way
you are, including that wild side of yours. So I settled for less, even when I secretly
hoped for more.” I pushed the words out with the last of my breath, thinking about
the other things I so desperately wanted to say before he got angry with me.
“Most of it I already knew…” he whispered, the softness once again touching

his face.
“What do you mean?” I stopped my own thoughts to listen to him.

56 Valentina Heart
“I heard what you said before, but it’s not like I was blind. I knew when you
were horny and when you were jealous. I saw you looking at my boyfriends and
wanting to kill them, I saw the way I hurt you every time I introduced you to a new
one. I’m not blind, not really. I just like to pretend things don’t bother me, or that I
don’t see them if they’re not what I want at that moment. I always thought that to
be a better option than to hurt all the time. I can’t say that I really knew the real
reason why you pushed me away all the time, but listening to you now… Maybe you
weren’t totally wrong.”
“How can you say that? I could have prevented everything that has happened
to you! With a simple yes from me, Steve never would have entered the picture!” I
raised my voice, not at all subdued with his obvious acceptance.
“I was a different person then. Months ago, I would have probably argued with
you about it. Tried to convince you that I was trustworthy or whatever, and then
still left you when things got tricky.” Mikey shrugged. “It was in my nature. You’re
right. I liked games, and I liked men, and there are so many choices on the dance
floor, men taking in my moves, undressing me with their eyes. It was all so very
tempting, so very imposing, and it fed my self-confidence. I was wanted, and I lived
off it. I needed a wake-up call, and John, and as much as it pains me to say it, even
Steve, were that wake-up call.” He finished with a slight shudder, and I hugged him
all the tighter for it.
“So you’re letting me off the hook?” I asked incredulously, my nose still buried
in his hair.
“Yes, and no. You could have made it work in other ways, that’s true. But I
still don’t blame you for any of it. My feelings are hurt to an extent, but honestly,
I’m too tired to even think about it. I want to go on with my life, forget the bitter
parts of it.”
He took a minute, but changed the subject all too soon, and I let him.
“Tell me something. In all these months I’ve been with John and…Steve, have
you had anyone? Because I think the last time you had sex was the time I caught
you with that beast. He was a looker, I’ll give you that, and by the way you were out
of it, I’d say you had a blast in bed. But there was no one after him, right?”
He was suddenly playful and even smiling, and we haven’t exchanged so many
words in months. He caught me off guard for a second or two with his question, and
then I felt color climbing up my cheeks. He was right, of course. The last time I’d
had sex was more than half a year ago. And despite the fact that I call myself old,
I’m not that bloody old!
“You’re right,” I grumbled, not at all thrilled with that confession.
“I think I knew you were in love with me from the start, but it wasn’t only your
choice to push me away. I was the one who let you. I could have cornered you with
it, with everything I knew was there, but you hid, and I chose not to. Instead I
played games. Both consciously and unconsciously.”
“But I also lied to you when you broke up with John. I told you that what you
felt for me was just love for a friend!” I said a little louder, making him flinch, but
he didn’t pull away.
“Don’t be an idiot, Kyle. How can you know what I feel better than I can? I
chose not to say anything about it to you. I knew it was a lie. Pretty unconvincing
one at that. But I still went with it. Me. So don’t beat yourself up about it. It’s not
worth it,” he finished seriously, leaving me completely out of the loop.
Whoever said that Mikey was just a pretty face, or just a child? He knew me
better than I knew myself; he just chose not to say anything. It’s pretty obvious who
ended up being the kid between the two of us.
“Okay, if you’re so smart, tell me what happens now?” I challenged him, a little
bit pissed at myself and a little bit annoyed by the way the whole situation was in
fact manipulated by him while I just tagged along.
“I don’t know… I’m glad you finally see me, Kyle, but I don’t know if I can give
you now what I could have before. Something’s broken in me…” He buried his face
in my neck, and I could feel the wetness of tears as they slid over my shoulder and
down onto the bed.
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I held him closer, realizing that no matter how tough he looked at certain
moments, Mikey was still a fragile little thing. Someone who needed love as much
as others needed air. And I was in a position to give all of that to him. I was finally
there for him.
“I’ll always be here, baby. I won’t make the same mistake twice. Besides,
you’re next to me, you’re letting me hold you, kiss you. That’s all I need. Like you
mentioned before, I’m the guy who hasn’t had sex in a very long time. What’s
another six months? Hell, let’s make it a year!” I said, smiling, touching him softly
all the while.
Mikey lifted his head and looked at me with such disbelief that I almost burst
out laughing. There were still trails of tears on his cheeks, but he wasn’t crying
anymore. Now he was trying to say something, but the words escaped him.
“You… How… I can’t…” He took a moment, a deep breath, and tried again.
“Kyle, I’m hurt right now. In more than one way. But I’m not a fucking saint!” He
got up on his knees, his hands far from his body as he gestured wildly. “I can’t go
without sex for six months! Are you insane? And there is no fucking way I’ll agree to
a freaking year! My dick will dry out and fall off! No! Maybe my balls will burst
first! No! No! I won’t do it! No!” He was so animated that I even noticed there were
traces of sweat above his lip, and he kept looking at me like I was the craziest man
on earth.
“Mikey, calm down. That’s not a limit or a set date. I just wanted to say that I
could wait, and that there’s absolutely no pressure.” I was smiling then as I
watched his expression change from disbelief to embarrassment.
“Oh. I kind of made an ass of myself this time, didn’t I?” He moved his head to
the side and looked at me with that seductive shyness that always managed to stir
things up below my waist.
“Well, it’s not a bad thing to know just how much sex means to you. I don’t
think I’ll be able to keep up.” I wanted to keep the good mood flowing, and he
followed my lead.
“That doesn’t matter. We’ll just practice more,” he stated seriously, while for
me it took all my willpower not to kiss that mischief off his face. There was serious
wickedness under there. He just couldn’t help himself.
“It’s good to have plans. Anything you have planned for today?”
“No. I don’t want to go out or anything. Can we just stay here like this? Sleep
some more?” He watched my expression intently.
“Yes. Whatever you want. Come here, snuggle with me,” I said, and he was
right there, as close as he could get.
60 Valentina Heart
Chapter Nine
Even though my estimation of our celibacy wasn’t correct, I wasn’t far off the
mark. It took four months of meetings with an abuse counselor, for the both of us,
but mostly for Mikey, to make him feel someone worthy again. He wasn’t the same
man he was before; it’s doubtful he’d ever be that man again. But there are more
smiles and more teasing than there is flinching and silence, and I take both as a
great sign.
He met two guys in his group who ended up being his friends, while I mostly
sought advice on how to be a better person and how to deal with what he’d been
through. I wanted to be the best man that I could be for him.
A lot of things returned to normal, like the amount of clothes Mikey had on
when he was in the house—which was minimal—and the men he went dancing with
and the number of people surrounding him. He was always a people person even
though a lot of those men, as well as women, just followed his contagious vibe while
they knew nothing about him.
I stood aside, letting him make all the moves he wanted. It was excruciating at
times, but it was well worth it in the long run. He needed his own pace and space,
but I apparently was still his constant support and a huge ego boost. Mikey loved
causing a reaction, even when he wasn’t ready to deal with the consequences. It
resulted in more erections than I thought were humanly possible.
Most people remember their first kiss as something amazing, like a turning
point of their lives, when everything changed, and they entered into this new world
of sexuality. For me, even though it was somewhat an act that changed my view of
the world order, it wasn’t something that turned out to be a point of reference.
Maybe because I was too young and saw it all as childish infatuation. I have
absolutely no idea. But what did flip a switch in my mind was my first sexual
experience. In all honest to God truth, it wasn’t all that bad. I mostly enjoyed it, and
the fact that I was head over heels in love with my boyfriend at the time didn’t hurt
any.
Still, despite it not being traumatic or terribly painful, I rarely did it again in
the same way. There was just something unnerving in the idea of not being in
control. I couldn’t help but want to be the man on top. The men I could see
dominating me in that exquisite way were rare, and mostly I was the guy who did
the fucking part.
I still remembered that first kiss Mikey and I’d exchanged. Not for its hotness,
or because it was mind-blowing; I remembered it because it was Mikey, and it was
the sweetest kiss I’d ever received.
But none of it prepared me for the fierceness and the passion that
accompanied our second kiss. It was my ultimate undoing, and definitely something
worth remembering. It fulfilled all the expectations my very first kiss failed to.
Mikey slept with me most nights, mostly because he was scared and probably
because he liked the affection and the sense of security being with me provided him
with. But there was never anything sexual between us. We didn’t kiss more than
our usual peck on the cheek or sometimes the closemouthed kiss that was a fixer
between us whenever something wasn’t quite right. Other than that, we were on
our best behavior, and as much as I treasured everything between us, it was driving
me completely crazy.
I expected nothing more as we watched a movie one night. Curled up in front

of the television screen with Mikey half sitting on me, his head nestled between my
chest and shoulder. We were watching A Walk to Remember, and Mikey never
stopped sniffling against my side. By the very end, the sniffling had turned into full-
blown sobs, and I could feel his tears soaking my shirt.
62 Valentina Heart
“It’s just a movie, baby,” I whispered against his hair, not really feeling that
emotional roller coaster he was riding.
“But it’s so sad…” He sniffled again. “They could have been happy and
everything, but she had to die! It’s not fair! It can’t end like that!”
“But look at it like this,” I said, attempting to give him a different perspective.
“She changed the very person he was. She brought all the good out of him and made
him the happiest man alive. She did all she was supposed to, and even though she
died, he experienced that little piece of heaven that was loving her.” My hand never
stopped touching him as I talked.
“So it means that you should take all the opportunities life gives you, even
though they might end like shit?” he asked as he lifted his head up to see me better.
“I guess it does. He could have continued acting like an ass, or he could have
dumped her once he found out that she was dying, and he would have spared
himself all that grief and pain of her dying. But then he also would have missed all
those wonderful moments they had together, despite her sickness. I think you
should take what life gives you, because you never know when it will all be taken
away.” I got lost in thought, thinking about my own life and the missed
opportunities. I’d done the same thing with Mikey. I’d missed my chance and fucked
us both because of it.
I didn’t see him lift up his palm until it gripped my jaw. Then I connected with
his gaze and couldn’t do more than gasp. I knew what he was gonna do before he
lowered his head and took my lips with his. He was gentle at first, caressing them,
almost like a lover eases a virgin. His hand sneaked behind my neck and held me
firm while his tongue licked my lips open and then plunged inside. He played with
my mouth, pressing against my lips almost painfully, but taking all he could out of
that kiss. I got dizzy, partly because of the lack of oxygen and partly because I
couldn’t believe all the sensations that surged through my body due to the closeness
of his. I felt him down to my toes as he ravaged my mouth so thoroughly, as I tasted
the same essence of Mikey that I’d been craving for months. I whimpered softly, not
being able to help myself, and the kiss kept on going as he continued using his lips,
tongue, and teeth on me. He kept spinning my mind like the pro he was, and I was
helpless in his arms, even with him being the one sitting on me.
It was the one kiss I knew I would remember. A kiss that had probably ruined
me for all other kisses, and when he finally let go of me, his forehead stayed
connected with mine.
“I’m not missing another chance, Kyle. I’m not giving you a choice this time,”
he said in all seriousness, his breath leaving him in short bursts of air.
I tried talking back, saying something, anything, but all that came out was
another whimper, and I knew I was at his mercy. With that one kiss, he took all my
power and made it his own. I was so turned on by him that it was difficult to even
breathe, and the look in his eyes bared me down to my very soul, revealing all I kept
hidden inside for the months now behind us. I was just a human, a horny man who
found all he ever wanted in life in one incredibly hot and desirable piece of work and
couldn’t imagine being anywhere else other than in his willing arms.
Instead of talking, Mikey kissed me again. The same powerful passion

overwhelmed us, and I felt drunk. He sucked out all my brain cells, and the
mindless drone that was left was more than willing to do as he wanted without
question.
“To the bedroom,” he whispered and led me by the hand, completely aware
that my gaze was glued to his swinging ass.
It never took much for me to get hard for Mikey. Sometimes even a simple look
was enough. But when he used all his wicked ways on me, I was a goner.
“Let me show you what I can do,” he whispered again and almost immediately
started unbuttoning my shirt.
I stood there like a statue, my eyes wide open and focused on every move he
made. I felt the casual touches his fingers made on my chest; I felt his thigh against
my leg as it moved almost innocently. His breath as it tickled my upper chest. He
64 Valentina Heart
was everywhere around me, on me, without even doing anything drastic. For a
moment, I even got scared.
The first kiss that touched the center of my chest made me gasp. His palms
around my waist made me whine. His groin pressed snugly against mine almost
brought tears to my eyes, and I closed them at last in complete surrender.
Mikey pushed me onto the bed and crawled up after me. His elegant limbs that
had been dressed one moment and, after what seemed no more than a blink,
completely nude the next, surrounded me, and I got another gentle kiss. He
accompanied it with a smile and spoke to me softly. “I love you, Kyle.”
I wanted to say the same, to say something, but the devil above me
disappeared downward, and after I sensed the heat of his sexy mouth for the first
time over my cock, I forgot what words even were.
He swallowed me like a hungry man, taking me all the way to the back of his
throat, only to come back up and lick the very crown of my cock in nothing more
than teasing flicks of his tongue. I lifted my hips up high, trying to get more of him,
more of the amazing sensation that I hadn’t felt for so long, but Mikey just pulled
back from me, keeping the licks at the same teasing level as before.
Whining got me nothing more than a few slides down his throat, and as
mindless as Mikey made me, I was still very much the man he’d originally met. I let
go of the sheets I was so desperately gripping and took hold of his shoulders. I had
every intention of flipping him over and having my way with him, but something in
the way he knelt between my spread-out legs had me changing my mind. “Mikey,” I
said, as I hardened my grip on him. “This is your last chance to suck my cock the
way you’re supposed to before I flip you over and make you beg.”
His eyes widened slightly, and I could see the expectation as well as the fear
that he swallowed instantly. He wanted me, and he wanted me badly, but that wild
streak of his wanted to tease. “I’m serious, Mikey. Show me what you can do, now,
or you just might find yourself waiting for weeks for another chance.”
Mikey shivered in my hands, but the next movement brought him all the way
down to my crotch as his mouth took me whole. Just the sight of his pink, stretched-
out lips around my dark, swollen cock had me panting, and when he used all his
experience on me, I knew I was ruined for all mankind. He sucked me hard, almost
to the verge of pain, only to soften it with gentle massages his tongue preformed
down the whole length of my cock. He even used his teeth gently a few times,
balancing it with the shocking tease of his tongue at my slit that conveniently made
me forget even my own name.
He was simply beautiful, and only the ecstasy he gifted me with prevented me
from staring at him like a lovesick puppy. His fingers touched my balls, rolling
them in succession with his sucking, and when the bobbing of his head became too
fast, I knew I was only seconds from losing it.
The debate in my head about coming now or later didn’t even have the chance
to form when he added an interesting twist to his bobbing, and I came fast and hard
down his throat.
For a while I was just lay there, stunned, spent, and simply unable to move.
Recharging my stamina was one thing, but the instant, complete loss of energy just
wasn’t fair. How was I supposed to top that?
I felt his lips above my knee as they climbed back up my body in a lazy,
unhurried walk. I relaxed under his touch, knowing that we had all the time in the
world. And it wasn’t as if I could actually move.
By the time he kissed his way to my lips, and we shared another one of those
breathtaking, blinding kisses, I was ready to have my time with him, to finally
make love to him.
I spread my palm against his white chest and pushed him all the way to his
knees above me. It gave me just enough space to scramble onto my own knees and
really see him for the first time. There was no rush, and it wasn’t a secretive glance
where I was more embarrassed or afraid of getting caught than appreciative of his
good looks.
66 Valentina Heart
His hair was still beautiful, just like it was that first day I met him. The longer
strands almost reached the edge of his jaw, but the rest freely curled at the back of
his neck. There was still no hair on his body other than the fair, barely there fur
that sparsely covered his legs and arms. The weight he’d gained back wasn’t yet
true to his previous form, but it toned his muscles beautifully. I swallowed my
wanting groan.
I touched his cheek, traced my finger along his jaw, then drew a line down his
throat and sculptured chest all the way to the base of his erect cock. Mikey closed
his eyes; his head fell slightly back as a low moan pushed the air out of his lungs.
Even his cock was beautiful, the skin there like soft velvet under my curious
fingers. I could feel the pulsing vein that led almost to the very tip and instantly
became fascinated with the straining firmness in my palm.
Leaning down impatiently, I licked the tip of his nipple, circling the darker
ring as slowly as I could with my tongue, then moved away again. I watched the
desperation play across his face. I moved my hand over his length even when no
other part of me touched him, and somehow he was satisfied, not asking for more,
not rushing me, simply waiting for me to move in my own time.
He was surprised when I pushed him on to his back, his hands reacting just a
second too slow to catch himself, and his legs twisted to the side. He looked at me as
if I’d betrayed him, but it soon changed to his oh, so familiar teasing expression,
where even his dimple decided to play. He spread his legs wide, leaving nothing to
the imagination and displaying everything there was to see. Then he pulled his legs
backward just enough for me to see his puckered, pink entrance. I went weak in the
knees. His cock was just as beautiful as the rest of him, with the head glistening
under the unforgiving scrutiny of the light. He looked as innocent as a man could
be, with his muscles taunting me as they twitched, the blush on his skin begging for
my lips, his balls pulled tight and perfectly smooth.
The growl that escaped me was more of a surprise to me than to him, if the
smile he directed at me was any indication, but my surge forward caught him
completely unprepared. I pushed his legs farther upward and grabbed hold of his
cheeks. They were perfect for my palms; soft, yet I could feel every flex of his
muscles as anticipation rocked his body.
I licked a path almost from the end of his spine, between the smooth skin of his
balls, to the very top of his cock. He smelled delicious, and the texture beneath my
tongue had me moaning at the bend of his thigh. He vibrated beneath me, almost
shaking at the closeness of my mouth, but yet he said nothing other than the
incoherent sounds that fluctuated in volume.
Deciding between his leaking, cut cock and his twitching, inviting little hole
left me sucking on the middle where his balls almost fought for my attention. I
rolled them one at a time in my mouth, not caring about the wetness I left behind
and that trickled all the way down his crease. I figured I could easily lick him for
hours to come and never tire of his soft, naked skin.
It was the squirming that caught my attention, and after a while I realized
that I wanted inside him as much as he needed me there. He was slipping from my
grasp as his movements became more frantic, and I needed to move on.
I wanted to take his cock in my mouth, much like the way he’d swallowed
mine, but I was too close already. I wanted to feel his muscles as they squeezed my
cock, more. Teasing just a little, I pushed the tip of my tongue inside his ass a few
times, groaning at the tantalizing taste, but reluctantly moving away. His eyes were
wide as saucers, and he whimpered when I sat on my heels, so far away, but yet
still felt on his skin.
Reaching for the lube and the condom in the drawer had me leaning backward,
but I grabbed them quickly and coated my fingers faster than I’d ever done before.
Pushing my way inside him was almost more like a dream than reality, especially
the way Mikey was twisting in front of me. The length of his back was high up in
the air as he pushed down against my fingers, taking the length of them and
wanting more.
68 Valentina Heart
I felt much the same, and two fingers in no time became three, soon to be
replaced by my cock. He was stretched enough for me to slip easily inside, but still
tight enough to make me work for it. Every inch was a lesson in torture and
pleasure as his ass greedily swallowed my whole length.
My thrusts were shallow and swift, sweat already sliding in droplets down the
sides of my face. I watched as the ring of muscles circled my cock, and once again, I
lost myself in the exquisite contrast of our skin. Just the difference between our
bodies had me moaning with each push and pull, Mikey’s inarticulate sounds edging
me on even when I knew I was too far gone for any form of finesse.
At the last moment of manageable bliss, wanting to be deeper and feel him
closer, I pulled his body up until he was sitting on my cock, gasping at the extra
length and the change of the angle. “Wrap your legs around me, baby,” I said
between my thrusts, straining under the overwhelming sensation of his heat around
me.
Mikey wrapped his legs firmly around me, pressed snugly against my front as
well as against my cock. I felt the skin of his torso on me, and I took hold of his ass,
spreading his cheeks wide around me, pressing at his cock with my abs and moving
fiercely. He moved with me, every thrust eliciting sounds from the both of us as I
stabbed deep inside him, feeling every muscle and every curve, panting at the
occasional reflexive squeeze of his muscles.
The world stopped around us, and I could only focus on the feel of him around
me, his heat enveloping my cock, his legs gripping my body, the taste of his neck
where I’d bruised it with my merciless sucking, and the welcome sharpness of his
nails against my back.
Needing only that little something to explode, I took his lips in a rough kiss,
biting the skin, pulling at his tongue even as I thrust mine. I tensed my abs and
pressed against his straining cock. The scream he lost for me, the squeeze of his ass,
and the press of his nails, had me coming just as hard as he did, only I drowned it in
another kiss as I captured his mouth again, not intending to let those sweet lips go
any time soon.
Sated Mikey was almost as good as excited Mikey, and I savored the afterglow,
not caring about the softening of my cock or the wetness of his seed between us.
Kissing Mikey was a priceless gift, one that I planned on enjoying for as long as he
would let me.
70 Valentina Heart
Epilogue
I walked through the door, dead tired. My shoulders sagged, my back hurt, and
my eyes barely saw. All I wanted was to fall down on my bed and not wake up for a
day. Everything was blurry, and at first I thought my eyes were playing tricks on
me as the lighting in the house colored everything red. I was positive that there
were no red lightbulbs in the house. Just before I could work up a frown, I heard the
soft tones of a piano, and it piqued my curiosity.
The light came from the living room. Even before I stepped inside, I could see
the countless red candles on the counters as well and that all the furniture had been
moved to the side. It was impressive to a degree, and I was too tired to mind. What
caught my eye last and should have been the first thing I noticed was Mikey
kneeling on the floor mat in the middle of that empty space.
He pretended that I wasn’t there, that he hadn’t heard me unlock the door,
and stayed as he was, palms connected in front of his chest. I gave him that
moment, where he could do what he’d planned to do, and leaned on the door frame
observing.
Mikey was shirtless and barefoot, his pretty feet supporting his superb
buttocks. I was mesmerized in just a few short moments, the whole mood of the
room affecting me like a drug. Then, as if on cue, Mikey lifted that fuckable ass and
transferred his weight onto his palms that he extended onto the floor in front of
him. That ass was suddenly in the air, his calves perfectly stretched out, his heels
fighting to touch the ground.
I groaned as if in agony, wanting that flesh to the point of pain. The red,
skintight shorts he was wearing attracted me like a raging bull, and I had to grip
the door frame just to stay in place. He was taunting me. I just knew it! But the way
he purposely ignored me and focused on what looked like yoga to me, deceived me
enough not to interrupt.
I watched the muscles of his ass flex as he stretched; I watched his extended
hands and the amazing line of his back. It reminded me so much of all those times
that I’d taken him from behind, when that beautiful body was on a similar display.
The cock in my pants all but begged me to cross the distance between us, to take
him as he stood and make him remember, but I stood my ground. Still kind of
believing that the situation wasn’t planned, but rather something he’d taken an
interest in, and I had interrupted his daily ritual.
His palms walked backward, bringing his extended torso closer to his legs, and
his heels touched the ground once more. He was so beautiful. I wanted to lick him
all over, bend him just the way he was now and fuck him silly. I wanted him all the
time, and even my tired body wasn’t enough to quench those desires.
His legs now straight and his torso hanging upside down, he started lifting
himself up in slow motion, one muscle at a time. I watched like a predator, ready to
pounce as soon as he was finished, but the tease just couldn’t resist. As he was
lifting himself up, he wiggled his ass like everything so far wasn’t enough to make
me burst, and deleted every doubt I had about him taking an interest in anything
that wasn’t sex related.
“Mikey, what are you doing?” I asked, almost growling, one foot already in
front of the other, my body more than ready to take him down.
He threw me a look over his shoulder. “Yoga.” But the smile he couldn’t quite
contain and the ass that couldn’t quite stay still told me everything I needed to
know. Months ago, I would have bitten my fist and gone to my room to jack off. I
would have snapped at him and cursed us both silently. I would have pushed down
my overwhelming lust and ignored him as much as I could.
72 Valentina Heart
Now, I looked at him as the hunted animal he suddenly was and ran after him,
the silent promises thick in the air around us as I chased him all the way to my
room.
Loose Id Titles by Valentina Heart
Looking for Adventure

Valentina Heart
Valentina Heart lives at different locations in Split, at the coast of the Adriatic
Sea. Like the directions of her stories her life takes a new twist with every passing
year and she welcomes every single one.
As an avid reader for many years, she had a habit of mixing fiction with
reality, until she realized that she could simply breathe life to her characters and
make them as real as they could get. From forever romantic to deeply troubled, they
bring joy to their creator as well as frustration with their naughty behavior.
Kinky imagination aside; she enjoys music and movies just as much as
reading, but give her summer all year round and she’ll be ready to free climb, swim,
or stretch in all those mind stirring yoga positions.

Valentina Heart - Resisting The Temptation

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Valentina Heart - Resisting The Temptation

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Resisting the Temptation

My innocent little question led to countless family conversations, where they

Up until that moment, I understood Chris. If someone cheated on me, I

“Yeah,” Mikey whispered between sniffs.

“It was kind of hard to miss.”

“I never said anything different.”

“Yes, but Chris… Chris said a lot of ugly stuff.”

It wasn’t my intention to flirt, or even to react to his advances, no matter how

“Sure I mean it. I like to form my own opinions about people.”

“So what do you think about me?”

“Actually, I do,” I said as I found the last traces of my composure.

“Not really, about three blocks away.”

“Mmm… Does he do threesomes?” They talked as if I wasn’t even in the room,

“Why do you always have to be such an ass to my boyfriends?” Mikey marched

I couldn’t help but laugh. “You haven’t slept with him.”

Forgotten like discarded onetime confetti.

“I’m sorry I snapped, Mikey. Let me in, please.”

“I’m too old for you, kid.”

“Twenty-nine is not old!” He looked at me, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

I pulled on my ass-hugging pants and a simple white T-shirt, knowing that it

“I want you,” he growled into my ear in a possessive, arousing sound.

We crossed the distance in a rush, all the while touching in inappropriate

“Get in before I fuck you on the hood of the car.”

“Rubber, lube?” he asked, causing me to uncoordinatedly reach for the bedside

My onetime adventure didn’t linger afterward. He kissed me sweetly and

“I told you already, I have plans.” Still not looking at me.

Was it just me, or did his face soften a little?

“I guess I said more than was smart.”

“Of course I care about you. I keep telling you that.”

“I know! He’s stunning, isn’t he?” Mikey exclaimed as he draped himself

“Do you think they’ll catch him eventually?”

“Probably,” I murmured, feeling uncomfortable, especially when my shoulder

“You think we could go for a cup of coffee someplace tomorrow?”

“Was I what?” He sniffed.

“Were you dating him to make me jealous?”

“So why did he think you were trying to make me jealous?”

I was happy to be a friend to him then, to be someone to hold him and

Even if I desperately wanted to be the main player in that game he so loved to

Not wanting to intrude on what was obviously a wild experience, I decided to

“What happened to you?”

He flinched again, not saying anything, but not looking at me either.

“Where did you trip?”

“Those are from sex,” he whispered.

“Are you telling me that Steve isn’t beating you?”

Of course, I didn’t know that until later.

Despite my believing Mikey’s explanation for the bruises, I started making it a

I was going to kill him.

“I won’t ever do it again. I promise!”

“Bitches like you never learn!” Steve growled.

My anger was a blinding thing, something I’d learned to control in most

“I need you, Kyle. Hold me, please. I need you so bad.”

“I don’t wanna put on weight. I’m fat as it is.”

Controlling the anger that overwhelmed me, I schooled my expression and

“I could never be a model the way I am now. People stare at me when we go

He didn’t protest or ask questions. He trusted me to take care of him, and I

He sat straight up in bed, his breathing a rushed jumble of panic. He gripped

His insecurity wavered, and as slowly as he possibly could, he lowered himself

Mikey’s fingers strayed innocently to my chest and absently played with my

“I’m sorry I never told you,” he whispered.

“But why? He didn’t do anything to you.”

“Most of it I already knew…” he whispered, the softness once again touching

“What do you mean?” I stopped my own thoughts to listen to him.