Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009
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Let's get right to it, shall we?
Patty and Jacky are in Denton on a
sunny day, touring the University of
North Texas campus under the
protection of a Burberry umbrella. You
can't fault them for loving a signature
print accessory but you can certainly
ponder how they're paying for it.
The tour guide shows Jacky the
academic buildings and strangely
enough, Jacky is inspired, "I'm gonna
have N.J. approaching, New Jacky.
Always on time." Then she starts this
third person thing, "Jacky is going to
start being the woman she wants to
be." Maybe Jacky is growing up? Good
for you, New Jacky.
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Back to the tour. Jacky was shocked
when the guide said UNT's population
is 35,000. "I wanted to know
everybody," she said as if she were
entering the 13th grade at Highland
Park High School. Jacky! Hello? That's
SMU.
Cut to Booker T. Washington High
School where Chanel is playing the
violin with two classmates. Her mother,
Kenya, tells us, "Chanel attends a
prestigious school in downtown Dallas.
Her trio has been invited to play at the
Dallas Arboretum. It is an extreme
honor and I'm going to invite everyone
we know." Well, that's your first
mistake, Kenya, because you know
some pretty freaky chicks. I'm just
sayin'.
The plans were already underway for a
huge "tea party" which is synonymous
in the reality television show industry
with "hootin' and hollerin' cat fight."
But Kenya has never been on a reality
program, and apparently she's never
seen one either because she still thinks
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the grace and beauty of society in
Dallas.
Then this little exchange alarmed us
all.
Chanel: We need to go get something
for me to wear.
Kenya: No we won't be.
Chanel: 1 don't have anything.
Kenya: Yes, you do.
Chanel: 1 guess I'll go naked.
Just when 1 was about to scream
"Kenya, make her stop"- WHAM, BAM,
BOOM! Kenya fires this one off, "I
hope she takes the tea party seriously
because in an instant she can go from
meek little girl to this big-headed
bitch."
Kenya, did you just call your kid a big-
headed bitch? 1 mean, in almost any
other scenario I would gasp if a
1
 Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009
mother called her daughter a bitch,
especially a big-headed one. On
national television. But in this case, it
seemed quite appropriate. So, good for
you.
Next we're at Cru where Cindy and
Kenya are having a glass of wine.
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Jacky to the tea. Kenya is quick to say
she likes Patty and disapproved of
Pamela excluding her from the birthday
party.
The conversation continues:
Cindy: Oh honey, I'm going to have a
few cocktails and watch some
fireworks erupt.
Kenya: No this is a tea party. It's
supposed to be calm and relaxing. We
don't need any high drama at the tea.
Kenya, I hope Style Network is paying
for the tea party that's about to look
more like a Clampett family reunion
than Dallas high society. And I hope
you're not signing anything saying
you'll pay for busted china either.
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But Kenya remained optimistic, "The
day of the tea party was absolutely
beautiful. I was really looking forward
to the event." Well, enjoy your little
moment while it lasts, sista.
Kenya had done a beautiful job of
coordinating the party. The tables,
elegantly dressed with white china on
metallic chargers and shimmering table
cloths, were set in a wide open grassy
space that would allow plenty of room
for attendees to roll around punching
each other and pulling hair if need be.
We see guests arriving. Pamela notices
the beautiful house that is the
signature backdrop of many arboretum
events and, as if she's never been
there before, says to her husband,
"This looks like our house in a way./I
It looks like what? It looks nothing like
your house, Pamela. I mean, to be fair,
the building you're approaching has
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other than that, I see no similarities.
Not a single one.
Anyway, everyone is quite surprised to
see Jacky arrive on time. Maybe N.J. is
in the house already? New Jacky,
you're stunning. I mean that.
And Jacky continues to impress in her
couch interview: Being on time is
something I'm really trying to work on.
Being late can really mess you up.
Go Jacky! Hey, where's your mom?
Jacky tells her friends that her mom is,
"Late as always. I told her I'm not
going to be late to another event
because of you, mother."
Then a man in attendance said he was
talking to Patty on the phone about an
hour ago and she said she was getting
her lipstick done. Getting her lipstick
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Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009
done? Patty, how much are you paying
for that? Call me- I'll do your lipstick.
Then Jacky tells us that her mother
said, "If you take a cab, we're not
mother and daughter anymore." Now
that's the kind of unconditional love
the world needs more of, Patty.
Next up: Pamela. She tells viewers,
"Patty and Jacky do not belong at any
high society events, whatsoever."
We heard you, Pam.e.la.
But it's getting kind of old and, frankly,
it's backfiring. We have every reason
to hate Patty but when you hate her so
much, it makes us like her. So before
you start smack talkin' next time, ask
yourself this question: Does this fight
take me to the next level of anything
other than my own demise?
Then Jacky checks in with us about the
party, "It was so boring." So she
decides to "spice this partay up" and
goes over to sit on the lap of a young
man nearby.
Pamela watches Jacky and says to
others at her table, "So pathetic.
Paaathetic. It's twisted and perverted."
And then she's still going on about it in
her cheetah print sofa interview,
"When Jacky sat on Alonzo's lap at the
tea party, it kind of made me sick."
Then puke, Pamela, just get it over
with. Whatever it takes for you to stop
talking about it.
Who knew I'd ever be so ready for a
high school violin trio? Chanel, hit it.
Cindy reflects on the music, "It was
almost haunting it was so beautiful."
Patty must not have thought so
because as she lifted a mirrored piece
of the table setting to check her lipstick
she said, "This is horrible."
But Patty's table appeared to be having
a good time. They were laughing and
having fun like people do at parties.
But it was tainted with shots of Pamela
looking all irritated by Patty's
happiness. Then Pamela even
announced to her table, "They should
be ashamed of themselves."
Then Patty mentions to the guests
around her that she still wants to know
why she wasn't invited to the denim
and diamonds birthday party. She
makes a big churning gesture and
says, "It's a brewin'." Patty, we're
hating you again. Just leave it alone.
Cindy weighs in, "My money is on
Patty. I think she can beat the crap out
of her."
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over to Pamela's table and Alonzo
says, "I don't think we've been invited
to this ..." And Pamela finishes his
sentence, "To this wingding over
here?" Wingding? Then she tells them
to pull up a chair. It was the female
version of the first shove, the one that
starts the fist fight.
But they chose to stand. Alonzo asks
Pamela what she got for her birthday.
Pamela told him she got a life cake, "It
looks like a cake and each layer is an
individual scene from my life."
Patty throws the first punch, "So it's a
big cake." Alonzo blocks Pamela's next
move, "So did it start from the point
the two of you first met," as he points
to Pamela's husband. Then Patty hits
below the belt, "Or from your first
marriage?"
3
 Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009
There's some awkward talk and
laughter that follows and then Patty
asks Pamela's husband, "You look so
much younger. Are you younger than
she is?"
The husband, Ignacio, hesitates, "I
didn't know Pamela looked any older
than me." Weak, Ignacio. Very weak.
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you did the best you could with what
you had to work with.
Cut to Pamela. "Patty was trying to flirt
with Ignacio at the arboretum," she
tells us. No Pamela, you're going super
delusional again, she isn't flirting with
Igancio. She just hates you.
Then Pamela says, "Don't hate me
'cause you ain't me."
Um, OK, Pamela. We'll try. But what a
crusher. I mean, you're who we all
strive to be. But, it's true, we ain't you.
It took viewers a minute to shake off
that last thing Pamela said. But when
Jacky says, "Pam, can I talk to you for
a second?" We all sat up straight.
Pamela agrees and Patty joins them
over to the side.
Jacky told Pamela, "I've been wanting Hannah had put Patty and Jacky on
to ask, why was I not invited to your the guest list. Pamela says, "That's no
denim and diamonds party?" Pamela way, no how."
responds, "Brenda didn't want to
invite. So, why don't you ask Brenda?" Back to the confrontation. Jacky says,
"Can I bring Brenda over here then?"
What'd you just say, Pamela? And Pamela says, "Sure, why don't you
don't worry, we don't hate you bring Hannah and Gigi too. And Laura."
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because you just lied and tossed your out for you.
friend to ravenous wolves.
So Jacky gathers the crew and Patty
Jacky continues, "But I heard it was stays behind to keep watch over
different." Pamela said, "Well, you Pamela so she can't run for her life.
should ask my daughters who put on When all of the players are in the
the party. They were in charge of the mandatory huddle, Patty says, "So
guest list." Brenda, did you not want us there?"
Brenda, completely sideswiped says,
Uh, wolves still hungry so you fed 'em "What is that all about?"
your daughters, Pamela?
Laura is puzzled, "How did 1 just get
Pamela digs deeper, "Why aren't you roped into this?"
talkin'to her 'cause it's not me." Jacky
replied, "You had some say in it." Then Pamela says to Laura, "1 wasn't the
Pamela delivers the whopper, "I did one who put on the party. Ya'il put on
have some say in it. I said 1 don't think the party too. And everybody knows."
we should exclude them. But she was Everyone knows what, Pamela? Oh
very adamant about it so 1 said wait, no need to answer that, here's
whatever, ya know." the next flashback.
Cut to the instant replay of episode 5 While going over the guest list,
where it is discovered that Laura and Hannah asks Pamela, "Jacky can't
4
 Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009
come?" Pamela responds, "She's as
bad as Patty."
But Pamela sticks to her version, "So
I'm not takin' blame for something that
wasn't from me, completely. So, I'm
just tellin' her that." And she gestures
toward Brenda.
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Patty tries to keep the group focused,
"Brenda, is there a reason why you
didn't want us there?"
The meeting of Pamela's former friends
continued.
Brenda: Why Ididn't want you there?
Patty: Pam just said it was you and
Laura.
Laura turns to Pamela: Are you
serious?
Pamela: 1 said it was everybody who
planned the party. I'm not takin'
blame.
Cut to Kenya's couch interview, "This
was a sophisticated tea." Kenya, I'm
sorry but you were the only one who
didn't see this coming. Snap out of it.
And quick, because you're about to get
thrashed by Pamela too.
Brenda tells us, "Pam was backed in a
corner and whatever came to mind to
get out of it. Unfortunately, 1 got
shoved under the bus." Yeah, you did,
Brenda. But no time for that now.
Hannah said to Jacky and Patty, "You
were on the list." Pamela backed her
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and said, "You were." Jacky asked,
"How did it get deleted?" Pamela
turned and said, "It was you, Laura?"
And Laura responded like any of us
would have, by turning one syllable
into two, "Noho."
Brenda is still whining on the couch, "I
felt betrayed and 1 was a little bit
upset."
But Pamela was still grasping for air,
"I'm not takin' blame because Brenda
didn't want Kenya and Chanel there
either." Get her, Brenda. Go. Just rip
her hair right off her head.
Brenda, still on the sofa says, "I
thought 1 knew her but 1 don't think I
know her." We know, Brenda. But we
need you over here.
After a much needed commercial
break, Jacky tells the group, "I'm just
trying to work it out." Brenda finally
steps up, "Jacky, there's nothing really
to work out. But here's the deal, I'm
not close to you guys and it was partly
my birthday party too. If Pamela had
wanted you guys to be there, that
I
you on my guest list."
OMG, what is Pamela doing? Stop.
Stop.
Jacky and Patty walk away with their
heads held high and then the scene of
which reality show finales are made
was upon us. Pamela flipped a double
birdie at them and simultaneously
hollered, "Ya'il got all that?"
Pam held her pose, middle fingers
perfectly erected, while she turned
from side to side allowing each guest
at the sophisticated tea to take in her
message, "Yaaaaa'lIIlI got thaaaat???"
One would think Pamela was done,
that she'd feel humiliated and just walk
away, and wait for the day that this all
becomes a distant memory, in like,
3010. But, no. Pamela tells viewers,
5
Dallas Divas and Daughters, Season 1 Finale Recap
By Merritt Patterson
Park Cities People 2009

"People butt heads in Dallas and that's

just the way it is."

No, Pam, it isn't. Yeah, I've seen the

bird flipped at Fair Park on Texas/On
game day, and in traffic on Central
Expressway. But not once have I seen
another person in this city flip the bird
lcrledPai~Nut-8nee:..-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
But then again, you're the expert on
Dallas high society.