Secrets of the Heart

A New Beginning
By
Traci Storey
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 This book is dedicated to
Mary Fields,
the best friend a person could have.
Thank you for believing in me
and for encouraging me to
follow my dream and write this book.

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 Chapter 1

It was hard to tell which rumbled louder, the bus or her stomach.
Her gut twisted and turned with every bounce of her seat. She felt as
if she were going to throw up at any moment, not that anyone would
notice. It would just add another layer of stench to the atmosphere,
which already smelled of stale burritos, old sweat socks, and
Bengay®. Elizabeth was just grateful that she had been able to get a
seat at the front of the bus, behind the driver, instead of being forced
to sit in the back near the bathrooms. The smell there was ripe and
pungent. The only thing worse than the smell were the weirdos who
seemed to gravitate to the back. The normal people preferred to be
up front. People like her who were trying to get where they were
going without too much trouble. At least the bus wasn't crowded, so
she was able to occupy both seats on her side of the aisle. The seats
on the other side were occupied by an elderly couple. The woman
frequently smiled and nodded at her, as if acknowledging their
predicament. Elizabeth smiled back before turning to face the

5
window on her side. She leaned her head against it and watched the
miles zipping by, her duffel bag tucked securely between her and
the bus wall.

Every mile that flew by took her farther away from where her life
had been and pushed her towards a future she wasn't sure of. If
someone had told her a week ago she'd be on a bus to Rebecca's
house, she' would have called them crazy. Of all the places in the
world she would never go, it would be Rebecca's. They were
strangers more than they were sisters. They'd never gotten along
with each other, not even as kids. This whole mess was Eric's fault,
cheating on her the way he did. They were only months away from
walking down the aisle. One minute everything in her life was good.
The next minute, her whole world had been turned upside down.
Now she was on her way back to Oak Tree, the little town where she
grew up. On her way to stay with Rebecca.

When she had called and told Rebecca that she was coming back
to Oak Tree, Elizabeth had planned to find a cheap motel to stay in
for a while, but Rebecca had surprised her by offering to let her stay
in one of their spare bedrooms until she could get on her feet. She’d
thought about refusing, knowing they had never gotten along, but
when push came to shove, she knew she couldn't really afford to
stay in a motel, no matter how cheap it was, so she gave in and
accepted Rebecca's offer. Now, as she traveled closer, she waffled
back and forth between hope and dread. She hoped that staying with
Rebecca might finally give them the opportunity to develop the true

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sisterly relationship she had always dreamed of. After all, they
weren't kids anymore and she hoped they wouldn't bicker
constantly, the way they had as children. Maybe they could become
friends as well as sisters. There was always hope.

Her stomach rumbled again and she wondered when they might
stop for their next meal break. Almost five hours had passed since
their last stop and she needed to use the bathroom. There was no
way she was going to walk to the back of the bus and use the
cesspool back there. She'd rather pee her pants and, if they didn't
stop soon, that fear threatened to become a reality. She was also
starving. She always seemed to be hungry lately, eating much more
than she usually did. She was craving a slice of pepperoni and
pineapple pizza. That was another odd new habit in her life. Three
weeks ago, she'd stopped at a pizza shop for a slice of pizza and had
decided to try adding pineapple. She’d been surprised by how good
it was and now she craved a slice of it nearly every day. A lot of
things seemed to be changing lately. She was almost afraid to look
in the mirror. Afraid the face she'd see looking back wouldn't be her
own. Every other part of her life seemed to be that of a strangers.
Maybe she was the victim of a science fiction life switch and
somewhere out there someone else was walking around with her
life, wondering what had happened, the same way she was.

She glanced out the window again and her mouth began to water
as she saw a Pizza Hut sign, among a group of other fast food signs,
indicating the options available at the next exit. Please stop, she

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thought, trying to use the power of her mind to will the bus driver to
pull off at the next exit and give them all a break. As if reading her
mind, the bus driver signaled his intent to exit and rumbled down
the exit ramp. At the end, he made a left onto the town road and then
a quick right into the Pizza Hut parking lot. He pulled around to the
back side of the building and parked the bus along an empty row of
parking spaces.

"Thirty minutes," shouted the bus driver as the people began

piling off the bus.

Elizabeth hurriedly grabbed her duffel bag and got off the bus,
trying to beat the crowd. Thirty minutes wasn't long and if she didn't
get to the food counter fast enough, she’d run out of time. There was
no way she could go another 5 hours without a meal and she
desperately needed to use the bathroom as well. Once inside, she
was relieved to find this Pizza Hut had an all you can eat pizza bar.
Perfect. While the rest of the bus passengers rushed to the counter,
Elizabeth headed towards the bathroom. By the time she had
finished, the crowd at the counter had dwindled, so she was able to
pay for her meal and gobble down several slices of pizza with time
to spare. She thought about getting back on the bus early to settle in
before the others returned but decided a better use of her remaining
ten minutes would be to visit the convenience store of the gas
station next door and stock up on some snacks to make the next few
hours more tolerable.

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 When she returned to the bus, she was glad to see her favorite
seats at the front of the bus were still available. She smiled and
nodded at the elderly woman still sitting in the seat across the aisle
and wondered if she had gotten off at all. It didn't look like it. A few
minutes later, the remainder of the passengers rushed the bus all at
once and for a few minutes there was a lot of noise and jostling
around as people settled back into their seats and tried to get
comfortable as they waited for the bus driver. Mere seconds later
the bus driver boarded and plopped down in the drivers seat. He
glanced once in the huge mirror that allowed him to scan the entire
bus and, without a word, he closed the door, started the bus, and
pulled out. Anyone not back on the bus was going to be left behind.
Her belly full and her bladder empty, Elizabeth decided she might
as well catch a few winks to help the long, boring hours pass a little
quicker. She made sure that her duffel bag was securely tucked
under her arm, between her and the bus wall and then leaned her
head against the window, pulling her jacket around her for warmth.
The dull rumble of the bus, combined with the constant vibration of
the seat beneath her and the window against her temple lulled her
into a light snooze and for a little while her troubles melted away.
She could worry about everything later.

***

After what seemed like a lifetime on the bus, Oak Tree finally
came into view. As they drove through town, Elizabeth watched out

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the window, spotting all the old familiar spots from her youth. The
town hadn't changed much. Some of the older, family owned stores
had been replaced by new, super chain stores, but otherwise, it was
still good old Oak Tree. For the moment, Elizabeth felt relief. It felt
like she was coming home. Maybe things would be ok after all.

Up ahead, the bus station came into view and Elizabeth felt her
belly leap with excitement. Finally, she could get off this bus. Her
butt had been numb for the last 6 or 7 hours at least and she
desperately needed to stretch her legs. She was so ready to stand on
solid ground again. If she could help it, she would never take
another trip on a bus again. They pulled up to the passenger area and
people immediately scrambled out of their seats, grabbing up their
belongings and pushing towards the doors in an effort to be the first
ones off. Elizabeth decided to wait for the rush to pass, so she could
get off without being pushed and pulled in every direction. When
the rush of people had finally cleared, she grabbed her duffel bag,
checking to make sure all her belongings were present and safe, and
then exited the bus.

As she walked into the crowded bus station, she scanned the
crowd looking for Rebecca. I hope she remembered to come pick me
up. Everywhere she looked, there were groups of people sharing
hugs of reunion and tears of good-bye, but Rebecca was nowhere to
be found. She decided to move out of the crowd and head towards
the main exit doors. Maybe Rebecca is just late. As she approached
the doors, she saw a familiar figure move just outside the door.

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Rebecca turned around and peered through the glass. When she
spotted Elizabeth, she huffed in exasperation before reaching to
open the door for her.

"You're here! Finally! We've been waiting for almost 2 hours! I

just had to get out of that filthy place. It stinks in there. I don't know
what made you think of riding all that way on a bus with THOSE
kinds of people. Are you nuts? Your bus was supposed to arrive
over an hour and a half ago. What happened? I was beginning to
think it wasn't going to come at all. I was just talking to Bob about
heading home when he saw you. It's a good thing. I was ready to
leave."

Rebecca continued to fire questions and statements at Elizabeth

in rapid succession. Not waiting for a response to any of them
before moving on to the next. Elizabeth glanced over Rebecca's
shoulder at her husband, Bob, and rolled her eyes. She never shuts
up, does she? Bob just smiled and laughed under his breath,
obviously used to Rebecca's tirades. Finally, he reached over and
placed a hand on Rebecca's shoulder as if trying to physically
restrain the verbal rush of words.

"C'mon hon. She looks exhausted after that long bus ride. I'll bet
she's starving, too. Why don't we get her home and sit down to a
nice dinner. You'll have plenty of time to ask questions and talk to
her later, after she's had a chance to rest up and get some energy."

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 Rebecca shot an annoyed glance over her shoulder at Bob and
then another one at Elizabeth. She reached up, squeezing her
forehead, as if fighting off a sudden headache.

"Fine. C'mon, let's get going."

Rebecca turned and walked briskly across the parking lot.

Elizabeth trudged along behind her and Bob brought up the rear.
She shuffled the weight of the bag on her shoulder as the strap
slipped down a bit. It seemed to be getting heavier with every step.
Suddenly, the weight lifted off of her shoulder as Bob moved along
side her, smiling compassionately.

"Can I carry your bag for you?"

"Thank you, Bob. That's so kind of you."

"You're welcome. It's no problem at all. You look like you could
use a break."

"C'mon you two.” urged Rebecca, who was now several yards
ahead of them. "If you want a decent dinner tonight, you need to
move faster than that! I don't intend to be cooking halfway into the
night!"

"We're right behind you, sweetheart." called Bob, who stepped up

his pace.

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 Elizabeth also stepped up her pace and hurried to catch up to
Rebecca. No point in starting their reunion off by making her mad.

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 Chapter 2

A short time later, they pulled up in front of Rebecca’s house. The

sun was beginning to set but it was still light enough to see the
house and Elizabeth was impressed. Bob and Rebecca had done
well for themselves. The modest, cream white, two story, house was
neatly trimmed with pale blue shutters and light green and yellow
accents. The lawn was neatly trimmed and beautifully landscaped,
most likely by Rebecca herself, Elizabeth guessed. Two huge trees
in the front yard, one on each side of the walkway, provided shade
to the front of the house in summer and right now they were an
explosion of color that couldn't have been more beautiful had they
been painted by an artist. Elizabeth didn't know much about trees
and flowers, but she knew an oak when she saw one. Besides, what
else would you find in Oak Tree but oak trees. Most impressive of
all was the large wrap around porch. It was beautifully decorated
and furnished, with a cushioned porch swing hanging on one side
and an elegant table with 4 chairs on the other. Elizabeth could
easily picture herself having coffee and breakfast at the table each
morning and relaxing on the swing with a good book in the

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evenings. If nothing else, she had to admit that Rebecca had
impeccable taste.

"Wow, Rebecca, your house is beautiful!"

Rebecca looked around and smiled proudly. "Wait until you see
the inside."

Once again, Rebecca was right. The outside paled in comparison

to the inside of the house. The stone tiled doorway gave way to a
house filled with thick, plush, cream colored carpeting in every
direction. The cream white color scheme with pale blue, green and
yellow accents had been carried on indoors as well, with stunning
success. To the left of the doorway was the living room, furnished
elegantly with a pale blue sofa and love seat, neatly arranged around
a fireplace that was so clean, it couldn't possibly have been used.
Gorgeous floral arrangements, perfectly placed around the room,
provided bursts of color to accent the pale blue and cream. To the
right was the dining room, furnished with an elegant cherry colored
dining table and chairs. Another huge floral arrangement centered
perfectly on the table. Those flowers can't possibly be real.
Elizabeth wondered how in the world Rebecca managed to keep the
light colored carpets so clean. There wasn't so much as a single foot
print to show where anyone had walked. As if reading her mind,
both Bob and Rebecca kicked off their shoes and placed them in the
coat closet, just inside the front door.

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 "You can put your shoes here, Elizabeth. We don't wear shoes in
the house. It helps keep the carpets clean. You can wear slippers
though, if you have a pair."

Elizabeth removed her shoes and placed them neatly in the closet
next to the others.

"Okay, I'm going to go start dinner so we can eat at a reasonably

decent hour. Bob, can you please show Elizabeth where her room
is? I'm sure she'll want to clean up and change into something clean
before dinner."

Not waiting for a response from either of them, Rebecca strode

off to the kitchen. Bob, still carrying her bag, headed up the stairs
and Elizabeth followed after him. The stairs opened up onto a
beautiful loft that looked down over the entry way, a hallway
leading off of each end. Elizabeth looked down the hallway to the
left and saw two doors, one just past the hallway entrance and
another one at the end of the hallway.

"Our room is the one at the end." Pointed out Bob. "The master
suite. Your room is this way.” Bob turned towards the right hallway.
”We're going to put you in the bedroom right across from the
bathroom. The one at the end of this hall is a bit bigger but Rebecca
hasn’t finished furnishing it yet. I hope this one will be big enough
for you." He walked a short distance down the hall and turned right
again, entering the room that would be Elizabeth's home for a little

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while. Elizabeth took a deep breath and stepped in behind him.

The room was neatly furnished but fairly plain, typical for a guest
room. The queen sized bed took up the majority of the space in the
center of the room, a beautiful ocean view picture hanging behind it.
Two large windows, one on each side of the bed, faced out on the
front yard, a small oak bed table perfectly positioned beneath each
one. Against the wall to the right of the bed was an old oak dresser,
clean and polished, but worn, exuding an aged charm. Above the
dresser hung a large mirror, framed in oak to match the dresser. On
the left was a large closet with sliding doors that stretched across
most of the wall. Against the final wall, immediately to the right of
the doorway, was a small entertainment center, which held a modest
sized TV and a table top stereo with a CD player. This room, just as
all the others, was carpeted in the same plush, cream colored
carpeting. The bed, an overstuffed bed that rose high off the floor,
was also done up in pale cream colored sheets and a warm, cream
colored comforter decorated with pale blue and yellow flowers and
green accents. Rebecca was nothing if not consistent. Once she
picked a color scheme for her home, she made sure it was carried
throughout.

Bob set her duffel bag on the floor in front of the closet.

"You can have the bathroom across the hall pretty much to
yourself. Rebecca and I use the one in the master bedroom or the
one downstairs most of the time. There should be plenty of towels in

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the linen closet right next to it and plenty of space to put your things
in there. If there’s anything else you need, just let us know."

"Thank you, Bob."

"You're welcome. It's good to have you here. We haven't seen you
is such a long time."

Elizabeth smiled and nodded, but couldn't help wondering if

Rebecca felt the same way.

"Well, I'd better head downstairs and help Rebecca in the kitchen
or she'll have my head. Take your time and get settled in. Whenever
you're ready, come on downstairs and join us in the kitchen.
Rebecca should have dinner ready soon."

Bob closed the door behind him and left Elizabeth alone with her
thoughts. She let out a sigh and sat on the edge of the bed. She
couldn't help wondering if coming here was a huge mistake.
Rebecca had such high standards. You could see it in every detail of
her home. Everything was perfect and Elizabeth was so NOT
perfect. Not even close. Oh well, what's done is done. I'm here now.
I might as well make the best of it. She wearily drug herself off the
edge of the bed and picked her bag up off the floor. She quickly
unpacked what little she'd brought with her. Neatly arranging her
few possessions on the dresser and dividing her clothing up between
the dresser drawers and the closet. Once everything was put away,

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she picked out a clean outfit, gathered up her few toiletries and
crossed the hall to the bathroom to clean up before heading
downstairs to face Rebecca.

Back downstairs she followed the sound of voices and the

delicious aroma of home cooked food to the kitchen, situated at the
back of the house. As she stepped out of the hallway, she was once
again impressed. Directly in front of her was the large eating area,
beautifully stone tiled to match the stone tiling in the front doorway.
A beautiful white table with matching chairs sat directly in front of
double French doors, which, she assumed, opened up to the deck
and backyard. The sun had gone down making it impossible to see
outside. She'd have to wait for morning to see the view. I'm sure it
will be impeccable. The stone flooring continued on into the kitchen
to the right, which itself was beautifully furnished with stainless
steel appliances, granite counter tops, gorgeous cherry wood
cabinets, and a large island bar perfectly placed in the center of the
kitchen. Past the kitchen, she could see a small tiled entryway with
three doors. She assumed one of them must lead to a basement or
laundry area, one to the downstairs bathroom Bob had mentioned
and one to the garage.

To the left, the dining area opened onto a large family room. It
was the only room in the house not done in the cream colored
scheme. Instead, it seemed to be carefully matched to the stone
tiling and the cherry wood cabinets from the kitchen and dining
area. The carpeting, though still thick and plush, was a pale gray.

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Each wall was lined with a gorgeous leather sofa that matched the
cherry wood cabinets in the kitchen. At the end of the room was a
stone built fireplace. Though clean, this one was clearly well used.
Above the fireplace, mounted on the wall was a huge flat screen TV.
On each side of the fireplace, were built in floor to ceiling
bookshelves, decorated with a mix of books, CDs and knick knacks.
Across from the fireplace, back facing the dining room and slightly
off to the left side of the room was a huge cherry colored leather
recliner. No doubt, that was Bob's place. He was already stretched
out in it, remote in hand, flipping through the channels as Rebecca
bustled around the kitchen preparing dinner. For a moment, neither
of them seemed to notice Elizabeth standing there. She stepped
further into the room and finally caught Rebecca's eye.

"Oh, there you are. Are you ready to eat? Dinner should be ready
in just a minute. Here, could you put the salad on the table for me?"

Elizabeth took the large salad bowl from Rebecca and placed it in
the center of the table, already neatly set with plates, glasses and
silverware. Rebecca followed behind her, carrying a large pitcher of
ice water she had retrieved from the refrigerator.

"We usually drink water with dinner. Is that ok? If not, I think we
have some milk and maybe some iced tea in the refrigerator. If
there's anything else you prefer, just let me know and I'll put it on
the grocery list."

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 "Water is fine," she assured Rebecca. "Is there anything else I can
help you with?"

"No thanks. Just sit down and make yourself comfortable. I'll get
dinner on the table. Bob, we're getting ready to eat. Can you turn
that off and come sit at the table?"

Rebecca deftly grabbed the three plates from the table and carried
them to the island in the kitchen. She proceeded to load each plate
with a perfect blend of pork chops, mashed potatoes, no doubt home
made, and mixed vegetables. Bob seated himself at the table with
perfect timing, as Rebecca carried the three plates back to the table,
expertly balanced like an experienced waiter, and placed them
neatly on the table. Elizabeth's mouth began to water and her
stomached growled so loudly that Bob couldn't help but laugh.

"I told you she must be starving!"

Rebecca chuckled politely and sat down. Elizabeth paused, not

sure if they were going to say grace or not. Only when Bob picked
up his fork and took a healthy bite of mashed potatoes did she
finally dig in and begin eating. She hadn't had good home cooking
like this in forever. It was all she could do to eat politely and keep
from chowing down like an old farm hand. Occasionally she
glanced up at Rebecca between bites and saw that she appeared
pleased that Elizabeth was enjoying the meal. She cleaned her plate
and even ate a healthy second helping before she finally felt as if her

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belly was satisfied. At that point, Rebecca's look of pleasure had
turned to one of surprise. As Elizabeth scooped the last fork full of
potatoes off her plate, Rebecca swooped in, removed the dirty
dishes from the table and carried them to the kitchen sink.

"Anyone in the mood for desert? Home made apple pie!"

"I'll have some." said Bob. "I'll take mine in the family room
though. The evening news is coming on."

"How about you, Elizabeth? Pie and coffee while we catch up?"

"Sure, I'll have a slice of pie. I'll pass on the coffee though. I'm
pretty tired and coffee will make it hard for me to fall asleep
tonight."

Rebecca quickly sliced three helpings of pie and made herself a

cup of coffee. She carried Bob's pie to him in the family room and
then returned to the kitchen to fetch her's and Elizabeth's. Once
seated at the table, Rebecca sipped her coffee, glancing over the rim
at Elizabeth as she took a big bite of pie.

"This is really good, Rebecca. You're an amazing cook!"

Rebecca smiled, clearly pleased. "Thank you, Elizabeth."

Just as quickly, the smile faded from her face. She set her coffee

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down on the table and leaned towards Elizabeth, her face suddenly
serious. Uh oh. That look means trouble!

"So, tell me what happened with you and Eric."

Good old Rebecca. Always direct and to the point. No beating

around the bush with her.

"Honestly, Rebecca, I'm still trying to figure that out myself. I

don't know why Eric did what he did. Everything was fine. We
weren't having any problems that I know of. I just came home from
the senior center early on Wednesday and found him in bed with
some woman I've never seen before. He didn't give me any
explanations. Said it was just a meaningless thing."

"Well, I don't mean to be offensive Elizabeth, but men don't cheat

unless there's a reason. What did you do to make him look
elsewhere?"

"I haven't done anything, Rebecca. I'm always good to Eric. We

almost never argue."

"Well, something must be lacking. Are you making an effort to

please him in the bedroom?"

"Oh c'mon Rebecca. I'm not about to discuss my sex life with you.
Besides, if Eric had any complaints in that area, he certainly never

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mentioned them to me."

"Maybe not directly, but I'd say sleeping with another woman in
YOUR bed was a pretty clear statement that he wasn't getting what
he needed with you."

"That's enough, Rebecca. I don't want to talk about this anymore.

I'm tired..."

"Now, Elizabeth, don't be so childish. I'm just trying to help you

figure out what went wrong so you can fix your relationship with
Eric and get your life back together."

"I have no intentions of fixing my relationship with Eric. That

relationship is OVER! As for getting my life back together, I'm fully
capable of doing that on my own. I just need time to think things
through and work them out in my own way."

“I’m just trying to help, Elizabeth.”

“I appreciate that, Rebecca, but I don’t need your help. I can work
this out for myself.”

"Oh really? If that were true, you wouldn't be sitting here in my

kitchen and staying in my guest room. Seems to me you DO need
my help. You just don't want any advice! But I have news for you,
dear sister, sometimes you do need advice, especially when it comes

24
to making important decisions and if you're going to be staying
here, you can expect to hear plenty of it. I just hope you smarten up
and start listening for once. You just might learn something!"

"Thanks for the advice! Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to go to
my room and get some sleep."

With that, Elizabeth scooted away from the table and left the
room. She heard Rebecca's exasperated sigh behind her but refused
to acknowledge it. Barely there a few hours and they were already at
it. They were like flint and stone, always bumping heads and
shooting off sparks. She just hoped she could get on her feet and
move out before their relationship erupted into a raging fire.

***

Alone in her room, the weight of the past week pressed in around
her. How dare Rebecca blame her for Eric’s behavior. The only one
responsible for Eric's behavior was Eric. What gave Rebecca the
right to treat her like a naughty child to be lectured at? She didn't
come here to be criticized and ridiculed. She came here needing
support from her sister, not ridicule. Some things just never change
and obviously her relationship with Rebecca was one of them. Even
as kids, Rebecca was always picking on Elizabeth. Criticizing her
choices in friends, clothes, boyfriends, everything.

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 Granted, she may not be as detail oriented as Rebecca, and she
certainly wasn't as neat and organized, but she wasn't exactly a
failure either. After their father had passed away, she had moved out
on her own and built a good life for herself. When she'd met Eric
shortly after getting laid off at her job, things just seemed to fall into
place. They fit well together and she moved in with him fairly soon
after they started dating. He made good money as a lawyer and
neither of them saw the need for her to go back to work. So, instead,
she spent her afternoons volunteering at the local senior center,
always making sure to be home in time to have dinner on the table
for Eric when he got home from his long day at the office. She
worked hard at being the perfect little wife. For them, getting the
actual wedding taken care of was just a technicality. They were
pretty much a married couple already. At least, she had thought so.

Now everything was in question. How long had he been having

an affair without her knowing about it? Was this the only one or had
there been others? She had so many questions, but Eric wasn’t
willing to answer any of them. He just kept telling her it meant
nothing and there was no point in dwelling on things that didn't
matter. Every time she brought it up, he'd accuse her of being
childish and petty. She dwelled too much on the negative, he said.
Just forget about it and move on. But she wasn't able to do that.
Every minute he wasn't there, it drove her crazy wondering where
he was and who he was with. It was sheer desperation and
frustration that had led her to call Rebecca and tell her she was
coming home to Oak Tree. At the time, she hadn't planned to stay

26
with Rebecca. She didn't know where she was going to stay. She
just had to get away from Chicago and from Eric before she lost her
mind entirely. Now, here she was and nothing was the way she
wanted it to be.

As she sat there on the bed, so completely lost and alone, the tears
that had failed to fall all week slowly began to wet her cheeks. First
a trickle, then a flood. She lay there on the bed and cried, silently, so
Rebecca wouldn't hear, until she was too exhausted to cry anymore.
Finally, sleep came and she was able to escape the misery for a little
while. Tomorrow would be another day and she would have to find
a way to begin rebuilding her life.

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 Chapter 3

The following morning came much too quickly. Elizabeth was

still tired, but she could hear Rebecca and Bob moving around
downstairs and felt obligated to get up and start the day. As much as
she would have liked to stay in bed and hide until Rebecca left for
work, she knew that it would just upset Rebecca and make the
already tense situation between them worse. She needed to
apologize for the night before and try to get her visit back on good
ground. She hurriedly ran a brush through her hair and threw on her
robe and slippers before heading downstairs. Better to get the
apology over with as soon as possible.

She came down the stairs just as Bob was heading out the front
door.

"Good morning, Elizabeth. Sleep well?"

"Yes, I did. Thank you. Have a good day at work."

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 Bob nodded and hurried out the door. Elizabeth continued on to
the kitchen. She found Rebecca standing at the island, cup of coffee
in one had, newspaper in the other. She was impeccably dressed in
tan pants and a cream colored blouse. Probably silk. Her hair was
swept up and neatly tucked into a hairdo that Elizabeth couldn't
even begin to describe, much less copy. Elizabeth’s own honey
brown hair was always left down, free to hang wherever it ended up
as it dried. She combed it once, usually right after she got out of the
shower, and that was it. From there it was on it's own, allowed to
tumble freely around her head and face, a curl here, a wave there.
She liked her hair. It matched her personality, soft and free.

"Good morning, Rebecca."

Rebecca slowly lifted her eyes from the paper and looked at
Elizabeth. For a minute, she appeared to be deciding whether or not
to speak to Elizabeth at all. Apparently, her obligation as a polite
host won out and she finally spoke, though her voice was chilly and
distant.

"Good morning. I assume you slept well."

"Yes, I did. Thank you. It's a wonderful room and the bed is very
comfortable. I appreciate it."

She acknowledged the compliment with a curt nod.

29
 "There's fresh coffee in the pot, if you'd like some. Mugs are in
the cupboard above the coffee maker. Sugar is in the sugar bowl
next to it and creamer in the refrigerator. Help yourself to whatever
you can find for breakfast. I've got to get to work."

"Rebecca, before you go, I just wanted to apologize for last night.
I didn't mean to get so upset. It's been a very difficult week and I
was really tired. I guess I got a little grumpy. Please forgive me. I
really do appreciate you helping me out like this."

Rebecca paused, looking carefully at her, as if to gauge whether

or not the apology was sincere. After a minute or two, she seemed to
accept the sincerity and the coldness in her voice dissipated a little.

"No problem. I understand. Do you have any plans for today?"

"Actually, I was planning to look around and see what kinds of

jobs might be available. I figure the sooner I get back on my feet, the
better. No point in sitting here obsessing about what's over and done
with."

"I'm glad you said that. I was just looking through the classifieds,
but wasn't sure how you'd react if I made the suggestion myself. I've
circled a few possibilities you might be interested in."

"Thank you." Elizabeth, dutifully took the paper as Rebecca

handed it to her.

30
 " After you take a look at those and get dressed, you could also
head over to the University and take a look at the community board
in the hall outside my office. There are usually a few job
opportunities posted there and you might find something that works
for you. If you do, be sure and stop by my office and let me know. I
may be able to put in a good word for you. I'll do what I can to help."

"Thank you again, Rebecca. I really appreciate all of this."

After Rebecca left for work, Elizabeth fixed herself a cup of hot
coffee, located a bagel and some butter in the fridge, and sat down at
the table to look through the paper and see what Rebecca had picked
out for her. She sipped the coffee slowly and nibbled on the bagel.
She was hungry and wished for a more substantial breakfast. She
thought about making some eggs and toast but decided against it.
Her stomach was a bit queasy this morning and eating something
heavy didn't seem like a good idea. She turned her attention back to
the paper. Four or five little red circles dotted the page. She checked
those out first. Three of the jobs circled were for cashier positions.
Elizabeth frowned at those. Does Rebecca really think those are all
I'm qualified for? Of the remaining two, one was a part time
receptionist position at a local doctors office and the other was for a
part time file clerk position at a local insurance company. At least
the latter two were a little closer to her job skills as an
administrative assistant but the pay was far beneath her standard
pay level and she was definitely going to need more than part time

31
work if she had any chance of getting her own place. She scanned
the rest of the paper, looking for options that Rebecca may have
missed but there was nothing even remotely close to what she
needed. Oh well, I guess I'd better get dressed and head over to the
University and have a look at the community board. Maybe I'll have
better luck there. Please, Lord, if you're there, let me have a little
luck today. I need a job. I need SOMETHING!

She showered quickly and changed into her favorite brown sun
dress. She loved this dress. The color matched her hair and every
time she wore it, people would compliment her on it. In summer,
she would wear the dress by itself, but being late fall, she decided to
wear a matching brown suede jacket over the top. Out of habit, she
put on her canvas sneakers before realizing that her dress flats
would probably be the better choice if she was going to go job
hunting and changed them. A quick touch of makeup and she was
ready to head out the door. She was halfway down the steps when a
sudden wave of nausea sent her racing back up to the bathroom. She
leaned over the toilet for several minutes, expecting to throw up her
bagel and coffee but nothing happened. A few minutes later and she
was fine. The nausea disappeared as fast as it had appeared. I
wonder what that was about? She dismissed it as simple nerves and
headed out the door.

The community board at the college was literally nothing more

than a huge wall of cork littered with dozens of slips of paper, flyers
and cards of various shapes and sizes advertising everything from

32
upcoming parties to old text books for sale. Somewhere in all that
mess there were probably ads for jobs, but trying to find them wasn't
going to be easy. Oh well, it's better than nothing, which is all I've
got right now. She started her search by first scanning everything
that was clearly visible on top. When that turned up nothing, she
started over and scanned each section more thoroughly, lifting top
sheets to scan ads posted beneath. More than an hour passed and she
was about to give up when she happened to notice a small, hastily
scribbled index card that lay nestled between an ad for the
upcoming Halloween festival and a flyer offering student tutoring
services.

Adjunct Professor of Literature and Creative Writing seeks full

time personal and classroom assistant to help with managing class
work, student scheduling, research assistance, and various other
tasks as needed. Ability to multi-task and extreme attention to detail
necessary. Please see Noah Baxter in the Adjunct Office Building
between 8 and 10 am or after 4 pm.

"Perfect!" Elizabeth snatched the index card off the board and
glanced at her watch. 9:05. Plenty of time to find Professor Baxter
and apply for the job.

Fifteen minutes later, she found the Adjunct Office Building and
stuck her head in the door. A small desk, which she assumed was
the receptionist’s area, sat empty. To the right, there was a long
hallway with many doors, each leading, she assumed, into a

33
professor's private office space. She stepped inside and waited,
hoping that whoever usually sat at the little front desk would return
soon. By 9:30, no one had returned and she was running out of time.
I need that job. She walked past the desk and stepped into the
hallway.

"Hello, is anyone there?" She called softly, feeling as if she had

just shouted in the middle of a library. No answer.

She stepped to the first door and glanced inside. The office was
small, nothing more than a desk and a chair, all piled with books and
various papers, but no human being. She continued down the hall,
checking each office and finding no one. About halfway down the
hall, she peered through yet another door. This time she found
someone. A small, balding man with glasses tipped precariously on
the end of his nose. He was deeply engrossed in grading papers and
didn't seem to notice her standing in the doorway, so she tapped
lightly on the door. He looked up, apparently startled to find
someone standing in his doorway. He immediately stood up and
welcomed her in.

"Come in, come in. How can I help you?" Elizabeth got the
distinct impression that he didn't get very many visitors. She also
knew, by the immense stack of accounting books on the desk, that
this was NOT Noah Baxter.

"I'm looking for Professor Noah Baxter. Do you know where I

34
might find him?" For a moment, he seemed crestfallen. Poor guy.
He was all excited thinking a student might actually be seeking him
for assistance. For a moment, Elizabeth actually felt bad for him.

"Oh sure, no problem. Professor Baxter's office is the large one on

the left at the very end of the hall. I believe he's still there at the
moment but he has a class at 10, so you might want to hurry if you
need to speak to him for any length of time."

"Thank you, very much." Elizabeth reached out and shook his
hand and then headed down the hall to Noah's office. When she
stepped into the doorway of his office, she was quite surprised. His
office was quite different than the accountant professor's meager
office. Noah’s office was almost double in size and looked more
like a study than an office. A large, impressive wooden desk
dominated one end of the room and bookshelves loaded with books
of every description lined the walls. Two antique looking chairs sat
facing the imposing desk and behind the desk was a very
comfortable looking leather executive's chair, which was currently
occupied by Noah Baxter.

What surprised her the most though, was Noah Baxter himself.
She had been expecting an older, distinguished looking,
stereotypical professor type. What she found was a young man, not
much older than herself, wearing khaki pants and a t-shirt, sprawled
in the chair with his feet propped up on the desk. He was scribbling
furiously on a yellow, legal pad. Elizabeth tapped gently on the door

35
frame to get his attention and had to clap her hand over her mouth to
stifle a giggle as he jumped and nearly tipped himself and his chair
over backwards. The subsequent scramble to keep his balance and
get his feet on the floor sent books and papers flying in every
direction. No wonder he needed an assistant. His office was a
complete disaster.

When the dust settled and he had regained his composure. he

stood up and walked towards her. With a sweeping gesture of his
hand and arm, he indicated that she should enter and sit in one of the
antique chairs facing the desk.

"Please. Come in. Take a seat."

He stepped back behind the desk and stood there, studying her as
she entered his domain.

"I don't recognize you as one of my students. Are you new here?"

"No, no." She stammered. "I'm actually here about the assistants
position that was posted on the job board."

Standing across the desk from him, she couldn't help but notice
how tall and handsome he was. With his neat, close cropped, dark
hair and those gorgeous brown eyes, it wasn't hard to imagine that
every young woman who took one of his classes would fall in love
with him immediately. Men like that didn't belong in a classroom.

36
They belonged on a movie screen. As if reading her mind, his face
broke into a devastatingly, irresistible grin that made her heart skip
just a little. She couldn't help but smile in return.

"Please, take a seat." He said, once again indicating one of the

chairs in front of the desk. She moved forward and sat down. For an
instant, a wave of nausea swept through her. She took a couple of
deep breaths and it passed as quickly as it had appeared. She faced
Noah and saw that he was still studying her, a look of amusement on
his face.

"No need to be nervous. As you saw a moment ago, I'm more a

danger to myself than anyone else." They shared a brief laugh. "Are
you from around here?"

"I grew up here but moved to Chicago with my parents when I

was a sophomore in high school. My father was a professor at the
University of Chicago until he died two years ago. I just recently
moved back here."

"That’s great. I hope you enjoy being back in Oak Tree. It’s such
a nice little town. Do you have any experience as an assistant? As
you can see, I need a lot of help in the organization department."

She glanced around the office and laughed. "Yes, I can see that.
I'm sure I can help you. I worked as an administrative assistant back
in Chicago and I spent many years growing up helping my father

37
keep his office organized. He was a literary professor as well and
his office often looked just like yours. You kind of remind me of
him."

"I hope that's a good thing."

"Yes, definitely a good thing. My father and I were very close."

Just then, another wave of nausea swept through her. She closed her
eyes and took a deep breath. Please Lord, don't let me humiliate
myself by throwing up.

"Are you ok?"

She opened her eyes and saw Noah leaning over his desk, a look
of concern on his face.

"I think so. Just a bit of an upset stomach this morning. Probably
just nerves. I'll be fine."

"I think I have some crackers around here somewhere, if that

might help."

The nausea had passed and she laughed. "That's ok. I'm not sure it
would be such a good idea to eat anything found buried in here."

"Ah, very true. You're obviously an intelligent girl and you seem
to know me quite well for someone you just met."

38
 "Does that mean I have the job?"

"It can't hurt to give you a shot. I haven't had many people apply
for it, other than a few students, and I need someone with a bit more
maturity and focus. You seem very qualified for the position."

"Thank you, I think." She said, and laughed again.

"The first 90 days are probationary of course. University policy."

"That's fine. Shall I start today?"

"Tomorrow morning will be fine. I'll need some time to find all
the official paper work that needs to be filled out for this kind of
thing."

"Sounds good. Tomorrow it is."

All of a sudden, she was overwhelmed by another bout of nausea.

She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, trying to suppress the
urge to vomit, but it wouldn't go down. She could feel her stomach
crawling into her throat and knew she was on the verge of losing her
breakfast. She jumped up from the chair and turned towards the
door.

"Excuse me." She croaked and then clapped her hand over her

39
mouth and raced out of the office. She barely made it down the hall
and into the bathroom before the nausea won and the contents of her
stomach ended up in the toilet. She stood there for several minutes,
waiting for the dry heaves to subside. When her stomach finally
settled down, she flushed the toilet and went to the sink to rinse out
her mouth and wash her face. Boy am I glad I decided against the
eggs and toast this morning. What the hell is going on with me? She
looked at herself in the mirror and shook her head. What a way to
impress the new boss. Oh God, Noah! There was no way she could
go back in there and face him. Not now. Not today. She checked her
watch, 9:55. I'll just wait here until his class starts at ten and then
go home. I’ll find a way to explain things to him tomorrow.

40
 Chapter 4

The next morning, she got up, got dressed, and was downstairs
bright and early, in spite of another bout of nausea. She was looking
around for the coffee when Rebecca walked into the kitchen.

"You're up early this morning. Planning to go job hunting again

today?"

Elizabeth leaned casually against the counter and grinned. "Nope.

Not today. I'm going to be too busy at work."

"Elizabeth, this is no time to be fooling around. You need to get

busy and find a -- Did you just say work?"

Elizabeth laughed. She always did like catching Rebecca off

guard. "Yep. I stopped by the University yesterday and there was an
ad for an assistant for Professor Noah Baxter. I stopped by his office
and talked to him and he gave me the job. It's probationary for the
first 90 days, of course, but I don’t think it will be a problem."

41
 Rebecca stepped around Elizabeth and began making coffee in
her usual efficient manner. "You didn't say anything about it at
dinner last night."

"I know. I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, I'm definitely surprised. How come you didn't stop by my

office yesterday if you were on campus?"

"I don't know. I finished my interview and just decided to head

home."

"Hm, well, I'm glad you found a job. I hope it works out for you.
Just keep on your toes and pay attention. Noah's very popular
around campus and I've heard he can be very demanding. I'd hate
for you to get off on the wrong foot around here. If things don't work
out, it could be very difficult for you to find another job."

Elizabeth sighed and rolled her eyes. "Gee Rebecca. Don't have
so much confidence in me! I do have a brain you know. I'm more
than capable of handling this job."

Rebecca turned around, coffee pot in hand, and made a face at

Elizabeth. "Must EVERYTHING be a fight with you? You know
that's not what I meant. I'm just trying to give you some good
advice. Don't be so thin skinned."

42
 Elizabeth started to reply but decided it would be better to say
nothing at all. Instead, she sat at the table, staring out the double
French doors, and waited for the coffee to brew.

An hour later, she was on her way to the University, fretting all
the way and wondering what she was going to say to Noah about her
little episode the day before. It wasn't until she was nearly there that
it occurred to her that the job offer may not even be open to her
anymore. After all, she left rather abruptly yesterday and never
bothered to return and confirm the job offer. He may think she’d
changed her mind. The more she thought about it, the more worried
she became. By the time she got there, her nausea from earlier in the
morning had returned. Elizabeth, get a hold of yourself. You're
literally making yourself sick here. Since when have you been the
nervous type, anyway! She paused outside the adjunct building and
waited for her nerves to calm down and the nausea to subside. When
she felt settled, as much as possible anyway, she opened the door
and walked inside. This time, there was a young woman sitting at
the front desk.

"Hi! Can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm Elizabeth Cast. I'm Noah Baxter's new assistant. Is he

in?"

"Yes, he is. He didn't mention hiring a new assistant. Is he

43
expecting you this morning?"

"Well, kinda. I had to leave rather suddenly yesterday, so we

didn't get a chance to confirm all the details. He did say I could start
today though."

"Ok. Let me go get him." She started to get up from her desk just
as he stepped into the hall and headed their way. "Oh, there he is.
Noah!"

He looked up and seemed genuinely shocked to see her standing

there. "Wow! You made it! After you ran out like that yesterday, I
wasn't sure if you were coming back or not. Everything's ok, I
hope."

She could feel her face turning blood red as the young girl stood
there watching them. "Everything's fine. Just something I ate, I
think. By the time my stomach settled down, it was after ten and I
just assumed you'd be gone. Heading home to give my stomach
some time to settle seemed like the best thing to do."

"Probably a good idea. By the way, this is Melanie." He said.

"She does some of the clerical work here three mornings a week.
Melanie, this is my new assistant. I'd tell you her name, but she left
in such a hurry yesterday, she didn't bother to give it to me." He
grinned at Elizabeth, obviously getting a kick out of her
embarrassment.

44
 "Oh my gosh! I didn't even realize that. I'm sorry. I'm Elizabeth.
Elizabeth Cast."

"A pleasure to meet you madam." Noah said, reaching for her
hand and bowing in dramatic fashion. Melanie burst out laughing.

"Is he always like this?" Elizabeth asked her, rolling her eyes.

Melanie laughed again. "No, he's usually worse. He's a real

character. Keeps everybody laughing around here. You'll like
working for him."

"Alas, young ladies," Noah quipped, "As much as it would

delight me to stand here and chatter all day, there is paper work to
be done. If you'll follow me this way, Miss Elizabeth, I shall get
thee to it henceforth." He stepped behind her, reached for her hand,
and, placing his right hand in the small of her back, gallantly led her
down the hall to his office, Melanie's laughter following them all the
way. Elizabeth couldn't help smiling. She was definitely going to
enjoy working with Noah.

An hour later, the required paper work was finished and he set her
to work sorting through all the papers, books, and other assorted
items laying around his office. "I know most of it won't make much
sense right now." He said. "Just try to arrange it all in piles and sort
whatever you can figure out. Once you get it all straightened up, we

45
can sit down and sort through it together, either after class this
afternoon or tomorrow morning. I have to get to class right now, so
if you have any questions, just hold them until I get back in a few
hours or ask Melanie. She may be able to help with some of it."

As soon as he was gone, she started sorting through the papers on

his desk. Unfortunately, it didn't take long to realize that the task
was much bigger than she anticipated. There were so many piles of
papers everywhere. Within minutes of sorting something, she
would lose track of the piles she had created in the midst of the ones
that existed. Finally, she decided to change tactics. She moved to
the table on the other side of the room, which was also completely
covered in stacks of books and papers. This time, she didn’t bother
sorting anything. Instead, she stacked everything up as neatly as
possible and moved it to the floor. Once she had a clear working
space on the table, she could begin digging into the unsorted
material around the office and arrange it into organized stacks on
the table.

She'd barely started clearing the table when nausea reared it's
ugly head again and forced her to sit down and put her head between
her knees to keep from throwing up. No matter what she did, her
stomach just wouldn't settle. Little by little, it kept climbing into her
throat. Finally, she had no choice but to get up and head to the
bathroom. The walking seemed to help, at least for a moment, and
then she passed by one of the other offices where she was assaulted
by a whiff of sausage and syrup. Her stomach twisted violently at

46
the aroma and she almost lost control right there in the hallway. She
made a mad dash for the bathroom and nearly knocked Rebecca
over as she rushed out into the hallway.

"Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth didn't have time to stop and explain or apologize. She

had to keep going. She barely made it into one of the stalls before
vomiting up everything in her stomach. Even after her stomach was
empty, she continued to dry heave for several minutes before the
spasms finally stopped. When she exited the stall, Rebecca was
standing at the sink, waiting for her.

"What was that about?" She asked.

"Just an upset stomach. Nothing to worry about. Probably

something I ate. I'll be fine."

"I hope so. This isn't exactly a great way to start a new job."

"Trust me, Rebecca. This isn't exactly how I'd prefer to start the
day either."

"You know, I've worked here for several years now, Elizabeth,
and just about everyone here knows me. I don't want you to come
along and embarrass me. It's important to me that you do well here.
Not only for my sake, but yours as well."

47
 "Rebecca --"

"I'm trying to be a good sister to you and offer you a temporary

place to stay, but you know you can't stay forever. You'll need to get
your own place soon and you can't do that without money. You need
this job."

"Thanks for the concern, Rebecca! I'm more than clear on what I
NEED to do. You don't need to remind me and I'm perfectly capable
of doing my job, in spite of a little upset stomach. Now, if you don't
mind, I'd like to get back to doing that job you're so worried about."

Before Rebecca could respond, Elizabeth threw her hand up,

signalling a halt to the conversation and headed for the door. Just as
she was about to leave the bathroom, she turned once more to
Rebecca.

"And just for future reference ... When someone has an upset
stomach, it's usually not a good idea to upset them even more.
Unless, of course, your intent is to keep it going."

Elizabeth was halfway back to the office before the awful taste in
her mouth registered in her brain and she realized she hadn't rinsed
her mouth out. She turned to head back to the bathroom and then
thought better of it. She hadn't heard Rebecca come out behind her
and, if she was still in there, Elizabeth did NOT want to have to face

48
her again. She decided instead to look for a vending machine or
something so she could get herself something to drink and remove
the taste from her mouth. She knew if she didn't soon, the taste itself
would make her gag and the whole process would start again. She
wandered around for a few minutes but didn't find anything helpful.
Finally, she resigned herself to heading back to the bathroom. There
was a drinking fountain just outside of it. She would have to use
that. I'm sure Rebecca is gone by now.

Back in the office, she sat down at the table to begin sorting. As
soon as she leaned over to grab some of the papers off the floor, the
nausea returned. It was milder this time and passed within a few
minutes. For the next few hours, she faced two ongoing battles, the
nausea and the mountain of papers. Before long, she gave up sitting
at the table and ended up sitting on the floor, sorting the papers and
books into piles around her. She was settling into a reasonable
routine, sorting through stack after stack of papers when one
particular paper caught her eye. It was an essay written by one of
Noah's students. She glanced at it, started to put it down and then
picked it up again.

Noah had written comments in the corner of the paper. She

studied the comments and then read the paper. She was fascinated
by what the student had written and didn't agree with some of
Noah's comments. When she had finished looking at it, she set it
aside, not exactly sure why. She glanced at the next paper. Another
student essay with comments from Noah. She read this one through

49
and set it aside as well. She looked through the large stack of papers
she held in her hands and realized they were all essays, some with
comments, some without. Apparently, they were papers Noah had
been grading, and she wondered how long they’d been buried in this
mess without being finished. She kept on reading, one paper after
another, and didn't realize how much time had passed until she was
startled by Noah's voice behind her.

"Wow! I have a table in here? I haven't seen that thing in ages!"

She turned to look up at him as he leaned over her shoulder.

"Find anything good yet?"

She smiled and tried to stand up, but her feet had fallen asleep
beneath her and instead of standing, she staggered into Noah. He
caught her and held her up while she waited for the pins and needles
racing through her legs to subside.

"Sorry. I guess I've been sitting there too long." She mumbled.
She was acutely aware of the feel of his arms around her and the
smell of his cologne, a deep, musky scent, swirling around her head.
He was solid and warm and he smelled good. Part of her wished she
could stay there in his arms for a little while longer, but the logical
part of her knew it was a bad idea. She stood up and stepped away in
spite of her still rubbery legs. He chuckled, seemingly amused by
her discomfort. She felt herself blush and quickly turned away.

50
 "I was just sorting through all these papers and I found this stack
of essays. It looks like you started grading them but didn't get to
finish. I don't know how old they are. Some of them are pretty good
though."

He took the stack of papers from her hands and shuffled through
them. "You read some of them?" He asked, without looking up.

Suddenly it dawned on her that maybe reading his students'

papers was a violation of University policy. Boy, you really blew it
now, Elizabeth. She tried to stammer out an apology, but the words
wouldn't come. To make matters worse, the nausea that had been
haunting her all day returned with a vengeance. She took a deep
breath and swallowed hard, trying desperately to get her stomach
under control, but it was no use. She could feel herself starting to
gag. She hated to bolt out on him for a second day in a row, but she
knew if she stayed another minute, she was going to throw up all
over him. Horrified by that possibility, she clapped her had over her
mouth and fled for the second time in two days. She nearly knocked
him over in the process.

51
 Chapter 5

She'd been lying on her bed for about half an hour when she heard
Rebecca down in the kitchen. She thought about playing sick and
staying in her room for the rest of the evening. After all, she’d been
having stomach troubles for the last few days so, it wouldn’t exactly
be a lie, but, after thinking about it, she decided it would be better to
keep her troubles to herself. The last thing she needed was to give
Rebecca something else to be upset about. After their confrontation
in the bathroom that afternoon, Rebecca would assume she was
avoiding her, no matter what excuse she gave and they didn’t need
any more tension between them. It would be better to go downstairs
and face her. Just get it over with. She straightened her clothes and
hair and headed down.

She walked into the kitchen and found Rebecca standing at the
island, placing chicken and chopped vegetables in a roasting pan.

"Anything I can do to help?" Elizabeth asked.

52
 "No thanks, I've got it. Dinner won't be ready for another hour and
a half." Although Rebecca's voice was polite, bordering on cheerful,
it was obvious to Elizabeth that she was upset. Rebecca wouldn't
even look at her and she was being unnecessarily fussy over the
chicken.

"I'm sorry about this afternoon." Elizabeth offered.

"It's not me you should be apologizing to. It's Noah." She

snapped, still avoiding looking at Elizabeth.

"Apologize to Noah? What does he have to do with what

happened in the bathroom?"

Rebecca finally looked up at her, all pretence of politeness gone.

"In the bathroom? Is that what you're apologizing for? Geez,
Elizabeth, that childish little incident is the least of the things you
should apologize for."

Elizabeth racked her brain trying to think of what else she could
have possibly done that would make Rebecca so angry and also
require an apology to Noah, but nothing came to mind. She knew
she was going to have to speak to Noah, again, about running out at
the end of the day, but Elizabeth couldn't possibly know about that.
Who could have told her? The only one who knew about it was
Noah and he had no idea Rebecca was her sister.

53
 "Rebecca, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"When I got off work today, I decided to stop at Noah's office and
see how things were going and see if you wanted a ride home. I
thought maybe you could use one since you obviously weren't
feeling well earlier. Of course, you weren't there."

Elizabeth felt a sense of dread crawl across her skin. Uh oh, this
doesn't sound good.

"When I told him you were my sister, he seemed quite surprised.

Apparently you didn't bother to tell him. He also told me about you
running out on him, two days in a row, no less. What is wrong with
you?"

"I just haven't been feeling well the past two days. I explained that
to Noah when it happened yesterday and I'm sure he'll understand
when I let him know tomorrow that I'm still a having a bit of
trouble."

"Noah is a very nice man, Elizabeth, and I'm sure he would never
be rude to you about it, especially now that he knows you're my
sister. But I can imagine that he's not quite as ok with this as you
think. People don't normally think it's ok for an employee to go
running out of the office with no explanation and just disappearing
for the rest of the day. That is NOT appropriate or acceptable."

54
 "I'll handle it, Rebecca. It's between me and Noah. I don't need
you to keep checking up on me. I'm quite capable of taking care of
myself. It's really none of your business."

"When you decided to come stay in my home and get a job where
I work, you made it my business. This is where I live, where I work,
where my friends are. Whether you stay here in Oak Tree or go back
to Chicago, this will still be my home and I will not stand by and be
embarrassed by your behavior. If this is the way you're going to act
while you're here, I would rather you go back to Chicago and deal
with the mess you made there. Don't bring your mess of a life here
and start ruining mine."

Elizabeth tried to form a reply, but she couldn't get the words out.
She was too busy trying to hold back the tears that were threatening
to break free and spill down her cheeks. She stared at the floor,
struggling to regain control, but couldn't. She looked over at
Rebecca, but Rebecca turned away, refusing to meet the tears in
Elizabeth's eyes. Unable to control them any longer, Elizabeth ran
down the hall and out of the house. She had to get away from here,
away from Rebecca and her painful barbs.

She walked for quite a while, not really going anywhere in

particular, just away from home. Not really home, though, is it
Elizabeth? Eventually her stomach started growling and she felt
chilled from walking around in the cold, dark, autumn air. She
started looking for a place to get something to eat and something

55
warm to drink. About a block later, she came across a little coffee
shop that looked cozy and cheerful and decided to stop for a while.
She stepped inside and was immediately cloaked in warmth and the
wonderful aroma of coffee and cocoa that makes every coffee shop
in the world such a delicious place to be. She found a perfect little
table near the back and sat down.

"Hi, what can I get for you this evening? You look like you could
use something to warm yourself up." Elizabeth looked up the
middle aged woman who was smiling at her and couldn't help but
smile back. The thing she loved most about small towns was always
the people. They were genuinely warm and friendly, not an act the
way it often was in big cities. People here were real.

"I'd love some hot chocolate. I didn't realize how cold it's gotten
out there."

"It's definitely getting chilly. Snow will be here before long.

Would you like something to eat with that hot chocolate?"

"Actually, I've never been here before. I don't know what you
have. Do you serve any sandwiches or soup or something like that?"

"Sure do. We make a great turkey sandwich here. It's one of my

favorites. There’s also ham, roast beef, or grilled cheese. We have
some great, homemade soup, too. Today's choices are bean or
tomato."

56
 "Wow, all of it sounds good. I think I'll try one of those turkey
sandwiches and a bowl of the tomato soup."

"Good choices. I'll go put your order in and be right back with
your hot chocolate."

Elizabeth sat there, staring out the window, trying to bring some
order to the thoughts that were racing around her mind. She was
completely oblivious to everyone and everything around her until
an excited voice broke through.

"Elizabeth? Oh my God, is that you? I haven't seen you in years!"

She looked up into a familiar face and squealed with delight as

she recognized her best friend from high school. They'd been
inseparable until she moved away and time and distance had
allowed them to lose touch. She jumped out of her chair and hugged
Samantha and within minutes, it was as if they'd never been apart.
They sat chattering excitedly, the words coming so fast, it was a
miracle either of them could understand a thing.

"What are you doing here in Oak Tree?"

"I just got back a few days ago. I'm staying with Rebecca until I
can get a place of my own."

57
 "You? With Rebecca? Wow, you two must have mellowed in
your old age. You guys NEVER got along."

"Yeah, I know. I wish I could say things have changed, but they
haven't. We've argued every day since I've been here. If it weren't
for another argument this evening, I wouldn't be here now. I just had
to get out of that house for a while, and voila, here I am."

"That's great! Well, not the argument with Rebecca part, but I'm
so glad you came here this evening. I can’t believe it. I’m so happy
to see you. Are you planning to stay in Oak Tree then?"

"If things work out, I do. I got a job as an assistant to one of the
professors at the University. I've had a bit of a rough start but I think
things will work out. I hope so anyway. I need to get my own place
soon before Rebecca drives me nuts."

They sat there sipping hot chocolate and chatting for hours, just
like they had as teenagers. Neither one realized how long they'd
been there until the waitress informed them that it was nearing 10
PM and they were about to close.

"Can I give you a ride home?" Asked Samantha.

"No, but you can give me a ride to Rebecca's." Elizabeth replied.

They both burst out laughing.

58
 Back at Rebecca's, they quickly exchanged phone numbers and
promised to call each other the next day. Elizabeth walked into the
house feeling better than she had since the whole mess with Eric had
turned her life upside down. Her mood didn’t last long. She wasn't
in the door ten seconds before Rebecca attacked, slamming her
happy mood to the ground.

"Where the HELL have you been? I've been worried sick about
you? How dare you leave the house like that and disappear for hours
without any explanation or even a phone call to let me know you're
ok? You could be dead out there somewhere!"

"Like you would really care, Rebecca!"

"I care, Elizabeth! I care that you're being foolish and childish and
completely selfish. I care that you've messed up your life and now
you're here trying to mess up mine. I care about all kinds of things.
You're the one who doesn't seem to care about anyone or anything
but yourself!"

"You know what? It's late, I'm tired, and I don't feel good. I'm not
in the mood to argue with you again. I'm sick to death of all of this.
I'm going to bed!"

"Of course! Run away. That's your answer to everything isn't it?
Eric makes a mistake, you run away. I get upset with your rude
behavior, you run away. Don't you think it's time you actually face

59
something and DEAL with it?"

"Good night, Rebecca!"

Elizabeth stormed past her sister and up to her room. She could
hear Rebecca follow her up the stairs but refused to turn around or
acknowledge her. When she reached her room, she slammed the
door in Rebecca's face and locked it.

"Real mature, Elizabeth." said Rebecca, while rattling the

doorknob. Elizabeth refused to answer and after a few minutes, she
heard Rebecca head down the hall to her own room.

Elizabeth collapsed onto the bed, exhausted but too upset to sleep.

How did my life end up in such a mess? One minute, everything

was perfect. I was about to get married to the man I loved. I had a
nice place in Chicago. Everything was good. Now, everything was
such a mess.

The more she thought about it though, the more she had to admit
how wrong she was.

My life wasn't perfect. Who am I kidding. My life was a complete

bore! Even my relationship with Eric was boring and routine. I just
stayed with it because it was comfortable. No wonder Eric cheated
on me. If I had been presented with the same opportunity, I may

60
have been tempted to do the same thing. He just got his chance first.
I need to get busy and do something with my life. I can't just sit
around and wait for life to happen. I need to DO something. But
what?

Elizabeth laid on the bed for hours, thinking about her life and
waiting for sleep to come. She was just about to doze off, when a
sudden thought popped into her head. Why not take a class or two at
the University and pursue something I've always wanted to do? I've
always wanted to write. I used to write all the time until Dad passed
away. I never should have stopped. It was something I enjoyed and
Dad always said I was a good writer. Tomorrow, I'm going to talk
to Noah and see if I can sit in on one or two of his classes.

The more she thought about it, the better she liked the idea. She
was definitely going to talk to Noah about it. A nagging feeling of
doubt and worry stirred through her stomach but she refused to
acknowledge it. She slammed a mental door on her doubts, the same
way she had slammed the door in Rebecca's face. Unfortunately,
imaginary doors didn't work on worries quite the same way her
bedroom door had worked on Rebecca. Several fitfull hours later,
she finally fell asleep, but it was an uneasy sleep.

Morning came much too early for Elizabeth and she had a hard
time waking up. The sounds of Rebecca moving around downstairs
didn't provide much motivation either. She definitely did not want
to face Rebecca this morning. She lay there instead, staring at the

61
ceiling and thinking about her life. She waited for a while, listening
for Rebecca to leave, but instead of leaving for work, Rebecca came
upstairs and knocked on Elizabeth's door.

"Elizabeth, are you awake? You're going to be late for work."

Elizabeth chose not to answer. Her door was still locked. Let
Rebecca think I'm still asleep. I just don't want to deal with her this
morning.

Rebecca knocked again, a bit louder this time. Elizabeth still did
not answer. After several minutes of no answer, Rebecca let out an
exasperated sigh and walked away. A few minutes later, Elizabeth
heard her leave the house. As soon as she was gone, Elizabeth leapt
out of bed and rushed to get showered and dressed. A quick glance
at the clock let her know just how late she was, and she hurried even
faster. The one positive side to moving so fast ... She didn't have
time to deal with the nausea that seemed to plague her lately. The
few times it dared to creep into her awareness, she forcefully told
her stomach "NOT NOW" and kept right on going. Thirty minutes
after leaping out of bed, she was dressed and rushing out the door.
She half ran, half walked her way to the University. She checked her
watch as she approached the adjunct building and saw that she had
made it without a minute to spare. Thank God. I've got enough to
explain to Noah without being late on top of it.

She hurried down the hall and stepped into his office, but he was

62
not there. She stood there for a minute, not quite sure what to do.
She'd been expecting to talk to him about what happened yesterday
and had herself all geared up to get it over with. Now she was faced
with an empty room and no one to explain anything to. She moved
over to the table she had cleared the day before and sat there,
waiting. Fifteen minutes passed, still no Noah. She realized she had
no idea what his schedule was, where he might be, or when he might
return. Kind of hard to learn all that stuff when you keep running out
every time he's in the room. When another five minutes had passed
and Noah still had not shown up, she finally scooted to the floor and
picked up where she had left off the day before, sorting through the
mountains of papers and books. She was determined to make real
progress today. If she had any hope of convincing Noah, and
Rebecca, that she could handle this job, she needed to make a good
impression and the only way to do that was to get the job done and
done well.

Several hours later, Elizabeth looked around herself and saw that
she had made quite a bit of progress. All the stuff she had cleared off
the table the day before was now back on the table, sorted and neatly
stacked. Even the stomach problems seemed to be giving her a
break today. Only a few queasy spells here and there, which had
been quickly banished with a deep breath and a few sips of iced tea.
Melanie had been a life saver on that one. She'd not only told
Elizabeth where to find the nearest vending machines, she'd even
gone so far as to fetch a bottle of iced tea for her. Sipping on that
throughout the morning had done wonders to keep the nausea at bay

63
and had allowed her to make excellent progress.

Pleased with herself, she started on Noah's desk. As carefully as

possible, she stacked the papers, books, and other items into piles
and moved them to the floor, arranging the piles in a semi circle to
make them easier to reach from her seated position. That, combined
with regularly stretching and moving her legs, had made the hours
sitting and sorting on the floor much easier on her back and legs.
Once she had her organizing system down, she actually began to
enjoy herself. She was so absorbed in her work, she didn't even
notice when Noah returned.

"Wow, it looks really good in here."

The sound of Noah's voice startled her and she let out an
involuntary squeak and jumped, kicking over several piles of
papers. When she turned to look at him, he was standing in the
doorway, leaning against the door jamb, flashing a smile that made
his eyes twinkle. For just an instant, her breath caught and her heart
raced a bit faster. She couldn't seem to pull her eyes away from him.
God, he's a good looking man. His smile widened a little more and
she realized she was staring at him with her mouth hanging open.
She quickly closed it and scrambled to her feet.

"I'm glad to see you came back." He finally said, as he headed to

his desk. "I wasn't sure if you would. Getting sick and running away
from me twice in two days isn't usually a good sign. I was beginning

64
to wonder if I smell bad or something."

"Oh no, honest, you're fine. Really. It's me. I've been having some
stomach troubles for the last few days. Probably just a little virus or
something. I'm so sorry ..."

Noah laughed and held up his hands to ward off the barrage of
words tumbling nervously out of Elizabeth's mouth and she realized
he had only been kidding with her.

"I'm so sorry." She said again. "I can't seem to stop making a fool
of myself. You must think I'm crazy."

65
 Chapter 6

Noah couldn't help but chuckle as Elizabeth stuttered and

stumbled over her words. He always seemed to make women
nervous and he could never figure out why. The more he tried to be
nice, the more flustered they seemed to get. He didn't think of
himself as being intimidating, but apparently he was, because the
result was always the same. Even so, Elizabeth seemed more
nervous and intimidated than most. Of all the women he'd met, he'd
never had one get violently ill and run out of the room just from
talking to him and Elizabeth had done that not once, but twice, in
two days. Now here she was on the verge of working herself into
another nervous fit and he was trying desperately to ease her nerves
so she wouldn't get sick and run out on him again.

"No, I don't think you're crazy. A little odd maybe, but not crazy."
He scanned the room again, impressed at how much she'd already
accomplished. "On the other hand, you saw this mess and still
agreed to take the job, so maybe you're just a little bit crazy, but
when you're working with me, that's a good thing. My life is a lot

66
crazy all the time."

She smiled and seemed to relax a little. He breathed a sigh of

relief. Maybe he'd finally get a chance to talk to her for more than a
few minutes. He'd been intrigued by her since the minute she
walked into his office two days ago. He found himself thinking
about her at odd moments, wondering who she was and what she
was like. He knew it wasn't physical attraction. She wasn't anything
like the women who usually caught his eye, although she was very
pretty in an understated sort of way. He liked the way her honey
brown hair tumbled around her head in a mix of curls and waves, as
if she'd just been walking outside on a windy day, and he had to
admit, those green eyes of hers were a sharp contrast to the brown
hair, totally unexpected. You couldn't help but take a second look.

The way she dressed was casual, comfortable, not like the
walking fashion dolls that seemed to be the standard for most
women he met. She seemed like the kind of girl you could hang out
with and talk to. One who could sit on the floor and sort through
dusty stacks of paper and not even think about her clothes getting
dirty. He liked that about her. He was also impressed that she had
been drawn to read the student papers and actually think about what
they had written. He'd been excited by the opportunity to discuss the
papers with her and had been disappointed when she ran out of the
room and didn't return.

Noah had a passion for writing and he spent every class trying to

67
pass that passion on to his student. Some of them got it, some didn't.
Most weren't able to discuss things on quite the level he wished for.
Something about Elizabeth's interest in the student essays had
impressed him and he hoped to get a chance to talk to her about
them. If it turned out she had similar interests, working with her
would be a lot more interesting than just having an assistant who did
the work but didn't care about it. Besides, part of her job was going
to be helping him with the research for his dissertation. A passion
for literature and writing would certainly improve the quality of her
research efforts, not to mention giving him the opportunity to
discuss his dissertation with someone who would actually
understand it. Now was as good a time as any to find out. He
reached into his desk drawer and pulled out the stack of student
essays she had commented on yesterday. He handed them to her.

"You mentioned, yesterday, that some of the essays were really

good. I'm interested to know which ones you liked and what you
liked about them."

"I'm really sorry for reading those. I should have asked you before
doing that." She stammered and he could see the blush rising in her
cheeks. Oh no, please don't get sick on me again.

Noah spoke quickly to head off her nerves.

"No, please, don't be sorry. I think it's great that you took the
initiative to do that. Part of your job as my assistant is going to be

68
helping me deal with the work load from my classes and getting
feedback on their writing is extremely helpful. After all, writing is
subjective and my opinion is just one opinion. I may not like
something but that doesn't mean it's not good. Having another
opinion will be very helpful to both me and my students."

Elizabeth visibly relaxed and Noah breathed another sigh of

relief.

"Why don't we take a seat at the table and go over some of these."

They spent the next two hours going over the essays, one by one,
and discussing their merits. He wasn't at all surprised by her
intelligent and knowledgeable comments on the papers. In fact, he
was quite impressed. She knew good writing when she saw it and
did a great job of expressing exactly what was good, what wasn't,
and why in the papers she read. She was going to be an immense
help, not only with grading student papers, but also with feedback
on his dissertation. He was thrilled that his instincts about her had
been spot on. When they'd finally gotten through all the essays, he
glanced up at the clock and realized it was nearly 5PM.

"I had no idea it was so late, Elizabeth. I should have let you go
over an hour ago. You did a great job here today. We'll pick up
where we left off tomorrow morning and start going through some
of these other stacks of papers."

69
 Noah was about to get up from the table when Elizabeth stopped
him.

"Actually, there's something I'd like to talk to you about before I

leave for the day."

"Sure, go ahead."

"I've always been interested in writing, especially when I was

younger, but I've never really persued it. After reading some of the
essays yesterday, I got to thinking about it and I'd like to give it a
try. I was wondering if you would consider letting me sit in on a
class or two." Elizabeth fidgeted as she spoke and he could tell she
was nervous about asking him. "I promise I won't let it interfere
with doing my job as your assistant."

"Well, my classes are during the day, you know. During the usual
work hours."

Elizabeth blushed and seemed unsure of what to say. Her eyes

kept darting around the room as if seeking the words she needed
from some external source.

"I'm willing to stay as late in the day as I need to to make up the

time spent in the classes." She finally offered, glancing at him
hopefully.

70
 He leaned back in the chair, studying her face. She lowered her
eyes to the table and fidgeted. When she looked back up at him
again, he spoke.

"Tell me why you want to write."

"Why?" She looked at him, surprise registering on her face. She

furrowed her eyebrows and tipped her head, not sure how to
respond. It was the same response he got from about eighty percent
of his students when he asked that question and he always asked that
question. More often than not, the first assignment he gave his
students in every class was to write an essay about why they wanted
to write. Even students who had taken previous classes were
required to write the essay again, because reasons often changed,
especially as one grew and changed as a writer and as a person. The
reason Noah asked is because he knew that success in writing took
passion and commitment. Anyone could write when they had to, but
for someone to make it as a writer, there had to be a powerful
internal motivation to write. One that would keep them going, even
in the face of blank pages, writer's block, and lots of criticism. A
true writer wasn't someone who wanted to write, it was someone
who HAD to write, and those were the students that Noah looked
for. The ones who had to write because it was who they were.

Elizabeth kept looking at him as if waiting for him to elaborate, to

explain what he wanted from that loaded question, but he said
nothing. Just sat there, waiting, watching her.

71
 "I don't know." She finally answered. "I just do."

"Go home." He said. "Think about it. There's a reason. You just
need to find it. When you do, write an essay telling me why. That's
your first assignment. If I like the answer, we'll work something
out."

"Thank you." She said, obviously relieved. She got up from the
table and started to leave. She was almost at the door when he
stopped her.

"Elizabeth." She turned around and Noah got up and rushed over
to his desk. He hunted through several drawers before he finally
located what he was looking for. He pulled out a sheet of paper and
handed it to Elizabeth. "Here's the suggested reading list I give to all
my students. The ones with an asterisk by them are the ones I use as
'unofficial' textbooks in class. I also have a spare copy of the official
textbook around here somewhere."

He searched through a pile of books on the desk. " Oh, here it is."
He handed her the book. "The books on the reading list are the most
important ones though. If you really want to write, I suggest you
give those a try. See you tomorrow."

Elizabeth thanked him again and left the office, studying the list
as she walked.

72
 Chapter 7

Lost in thought about what to write in her essay, Elizabeth's walk

home from the university was much quicker than usual. By the time
she reached home, she had several good ideas and was eager to
begin writing. She wanted to get her ideas down while they were
still fresh in her mind. She was hungry, but decided it would be
better to go straight upstairs to her room and at least jot down some
notes. She could always grab a bite to eat later. She stepped in the
front door and was pushing it closed when Bob stepped into the hall
from the kitchen.

"How was your day Elizabeth? Good, I hope. We're just sitting
down to dinner. Come join us."

Elizabeth thought about declining the offer and heading upstairs

like she'd planned, but Rebecca called to her from the kitchen.

"Dinner's ready, Elizabeth. Let's eat."

73
 After skipping out on dinner the night before and her avoidance
of Rebecca that morning, Elizabeth decided it would be better to
join them for dinner and deal with her writing later. Avoiding
Rebecca would only antagonize the already tense relationship
between them. She headed to the kitchen, still carrying the textbook
in her hand. She set the book on the island along with her purse and
took her seat at the table. Rebecca, of course, couldn't resist the
temptation to see what she had been carrying.

"One of Noah's textbooks? I guess you were able to work things

out with him." Though she spoke to Elizabeth, she purposely
avoided looking at her, choosing instead to focus intently on coiling
her spaghetti into a perfect ball on the end of her fork.

"Yes, I did." Elizabeth replied, refusing to go into detail. Taking

the lead from Rebecca, she also focused intently on her spaghetti.

She glanced over at Bob, who was NOT focusing on his

spaghetti. He looked at her, then at Rebecca, then back at her again.
He held her gaze for a minute, as if waiting to see if she was going to
say anything, but she chose not to. When she returned her focus to
her dinner, Bob apparently decided to end the silence himself.

"So, what exactly do you do for this Noah? What does he do?"

Elizabeth started to answer but Rebecca spoke over the top of her.

74
 "Noah is one of the adjunct literary professors at the University.
He teaches a few creative writing classes."

Bob looked at Rebecca, his brow furrowed. He looked back at

Elizabeth and tried asking her another question. "What do you do
for him?"

Again, Rebecca spoke for her. "She works as his assistant."

Elizabeth slapped her fork down on the table and glared at

Rebecca. "I believe he was talking to ME, Rebecca. Would you
mind letting me speak for myself?" The two of them sat and stared
at each other, locked in a battle of wills.

"I don't know what's going on with you two, but this is the most
uncomfortable dinner I've had in a long time." Bob said. Both
women turned and glared at him. He immediately threw his hands
up in a defensive gesture. "Never mind, I'm staying out of it." He
finished his dinner as quickly as possible and left the room. As soon
as he was gone, Rebecca turned on her again.

"I would appreciate it if you wouldn't start things in front of my

husband. This is his home and I won't have you disrupting his life as
well as mine." Elizabeth started to respond but Rebecca cut her off.
"I MEAN it, Elizabeth!"

75
 Elizabeth finished her dinner and placed her dishes in the
dishwasher before heading upstairs. She was just about to leave the
kitchen when Rebecca called her back.

"Don't forget Noah's book. You need to finish whatever work

Noah sent home with you."

"It's not work related." Said Elizabeth, wishing instantly that

she'd kept her mouth closed.

"Then why do you have his book? You didn't take that, did you
Elizabeth?"

"NO! I didn't take the book. Geez, Rebecca. Noah lent it to me.
I've decided to take one or two of his writing classes."

"Why?"

"I've always been interested in writing, Rebecca. You know that. I

used to write stories all the time when we were kids. Dad used to
love them. Being around Noah and reading some of the kids papers
made me think about getting back into it."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "Don't Noah's classes fall in the middle
of your work day?"

"I already talked to Noah about it and we're going to work it out."

76
 "Of course! That's just like you, Elizabeth! Expect everyone else
to rearrange their schedule so YOU can chase after your silly little
dreams."

"They're not silly little dreams!"

Rebecca rolled her eyes again. "Whatever! You'll get bored with
this little fad in a week or two and Noah will see what a little fool
you are. You'll be out of a job in no time and I'll be stuck with you. I
should have never agreed to let you come here in the first place.
That's what I get for trying to be a decent sister."

"Decent sister? Hah! That'll be the day! Critical bitch is more like
it!"

Rebecca gasped and sat there with her mouth hanging open.
Elizabeth had never spoken to Rebecca like that before and was
surprised by the hatred she heard in her own voice. She'd also never
seen Rebecca so speechless. She looked as if she'd been punched in
the gut. After several moments of shocked silence, Rebecca finally
turned away, but not before Elizabeth saw the tears forming in her
eyes. In that instant, the hatred Elizabeth felt turned to guilt.

"Sorry." She mumbled before grabbing her things off the counter
and leaving the room.

77
 Up in her room, she sat for a while, staring out the window,
seeing nothing but her own reflection in the glass. She was so angry
with Rebecca but, at the same time, she felt so completely horrible
for saying something so cruel. She wasn't that kind of person and
hated that Rebecca seemed to bring out the worst in her. Why
couldn't they get along? She started each day with the intent to get
along with Rebecca, but within minutes of being in the same room
with each other, sparks flew. After a while, she gave up trying to
figure it out and decided to focus her mind on her writing instead.
She flipped briefly through the textbook and then settled down with
pen and paper to start writing her essay.

An hour later, she was still struggling to get her thoughts on

paper. Where had all those fresh, exciting ideas gone? She wanted
to kick herself for not coming upstairs right away and writing it all
down. She should have stopped on the porch and written it down
before even stepping into the house. The time wasted arguing with
Rebecca had ruined everything. She kept reading what she had
written over and over again and it just didn't seem right. Maybe she
wasn't any good after all. Maybe Rebecca was right and this was
nothing but a silly old dream. Just because her father had always
loved her stories didn't mean they were good. He was her father
after all. Of course he was going to be positive and encouraging.
She couldn't expect Noah or anyone else to be that way. The rest of
the world would be much more critical, more like Rebecca, and
Rebecca obviously didn't have anything positive to say about her.
What if she turned this paper in to Noah and he really did think she

78
was a fool. How could she face him again after that? Frustrated with
herself, she finally gave up. She shoved the half-finished paper into
the book and tossed it onto her dresser.

She turned the TV on but couldn't focus her attention on it.

Instead, she lay there on the bed thinking about everything. About
Rebecca. About Eric. About where to go next. If writing wasn't
going to work out for her, what would? Her job working for Noah
was fine for now, but was it really something she could plan on long
term? If she was going to get her own place and start a new life, she
needed something she could depend on. A career goal, not just a
job. By the time she fell asleep, the only thing she knew for sure was
that she was going to return the textbook to Noah and tell him she
had changed her mind about writing. For now she needed that job
and there was no sense in ruining it by making a fool of herself.

79
 Chapter 8

When Noah arrived at his office the next morning, Elizabeth was
already there, seated in her usual position on the floor, sorting
through papers. He stood in the doorway, just like last time, and
watched her work. He liked watching her that way, when she was
unaware of his presence. Her guard was down and it was interesting
to watch her be herself, without all the self-consciousness that
seemed to take over when she was talking to him. As he stood there
watching her, she turned to reach for another stack of papers, saw
him and smiled. Was it his imagination or did she appear to light up
when she saw him? A warm feeling tingled down his spine. He
couldn't help but return the smile.

"Good morning! Hard at work already, I see."

She smiled again. "I think I'm making some progress here. I'll
have you all organized before you know it."

"That's great. As long as you stick around permanently to keep it

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that way. Otherwise, it'll go right back to the way it was when I
hired you. I'm hopelessly unorganized."

"I can see that." Elizabeth laughed as she watched him dump
papers out of his briefcase in a cluttered pile. He hastily shuffled
them into a crooked pile and pushed them aside. "More papers to
look over later. Maybe this time I can get them graded and returned
before the students have forgotten about writing them."

Elizabeth laughed again. "I'll make sure of it."

Noah loved watching her laugh. The way her face lit up and her
eyes crinkled just a little bit at the corners. He was finding it hard to
look away from her and kept trying to think of ways to keep her
laughing so he could keep looking. They looked at each other,
smiling and laughing, for a few more minutes before she finally
looked away and blushed. She seemed so easy with him this
morning, No stuttering and stammering, and he wanted to keep it
that way. He walked over to the table and sat in the chair behind her.

"So, did you get a chance to write that essay?"

Instantly, the smile, which had been so lively before, went flat
and forced. Her eyes slipped away from his and she shuffled the
papers in her hand, nervously sorting through them.

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that."

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 His heart sank. He'd been excited about the prospect of working
with her on her writing. She had such wonderful insight on the
papers written by the students and was able to voice her opinions
intelligently. He knew if she could write the same way, she would
be a dream student. Every professor looks for that one student who
not only has talent, but passion as well. The student who ends up
surpassing the master and stands as his biggest achievement. He
didn't know why but he believed that Elizabeth was one of those
students. There was something about her that drew him to her. He
couldn't put his finger on it but he knew it was there. He wanted her
to write. He wanted her to WANT to write.

"Ok, talk to me."

"After I got home last night, I looked through the book and tried
writing a little bit and, I don't know, I just didn't like it as much as I
remembered. I think maybe it's not the right thing for me after all
and I don't want to waste your time."

"Everyone has off days, Elizabeth, why not take a few days and
work on it a little longer before you change your mind. Maybe today
will be better. Or tomorrow."

"I don't think so. Maybe some other time. It's just not the right
thing for me to do right now."

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 "Would you like to tell me what you didn't like about it? What
went wrong?"

"Honestly, I don't know." She was avoiding his eyes, and his
questions. He knew there was more to this than she was telling him,
but he didn't know how to draw it out of her. He wanted to stay and
talk to her about it, try to convince her to change her mind, but he
didn't have time. For once, he wished he didn't have a class to get to.

"Would you at least like to go with me to my next class and see

what it’s like? Get a feel for things? Maybe it'll change your mind."

She got up off the floor and for an instant, he was hopeful. But
instead, she shook her head, walked around the table and picked up
the textbook he'd given her the day before. She held it for a minute,
looking at it, and he could see the hesitation in her eyes. She seemed
to be fighting with herself. Slowly she reached across the table and
handed him the book.

"Thank you, Noah. I appreciate the offer. I just don't think it's a
good idea."

He took the book from her hand and just sat there, looking at her.
She wouldn't look back at him. Finally, she turned and headed
towards the door.

"Excuse me. I need to use the bathroom." She said, and left.

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 He knew in his heart that she wouldn't come back until he left for
class, so he tucked the book she'd given him under his arm and
headed to his classroom. The next hour seemed to drag by. He was
distracted and disorganized. He couldn't get Elizabeth out of his
head. Several times his students had to drag his attention back to the
class as his mind wandered off in the midst of a sentence. He finally
gave up and declared the last half of the class would be a free
writing session. As the students opened their notebooks, some to
scribble furiously, others to sit and stare at the blank pages, Noah sat
at his desk and looked at Elizabeth's book, which sat on the desk in
front of him.

He picked it up and flipped through the pages, wondering what

must have been going through her mind as she did the same the
night before. Halfway through the book, he spotted a crumpled
piece of paper, tucked between the pages. He took it out and laid the
book on his desk. He opened the paper and read it. When he'd
finished, he started over and read it again. After reading it for a third
time, there was no question. He knew what he had to do.

He was going to talk to Elizabeth and he wouldn't stop talking

until she changed her mind. Her writing, though a bit scattered and
disorganized, unusual considering her organized nature, was
absolutely brilliant. There was no question, she had talent. Real
talent. Students like this didn't come along often. Sometimes not at
all. He didn't know what was going on in her life to make her give

84
up on herself but he knew he couldn't let her do it. He had to find a
way to convince her to change her mind. He spent the rest of the
class time watching the clock, part of him wishing it would move
faster so he could go talk to her and part of him wishing it would go
slower so he would have more time to figure out what he would say.
When the class bell finally sounded, he was out the door before
most of his students.

When he returned to his office, Elizabeth was sitting at his desk,

reading through the stack of papers he'd dumped out of his briefcase
that morning. She got up as soon as she saw him walk through the
door.

"You've got some more good papers here." She said, indicating
the stack she held in her hand.

"Good." He replied, unable to muster much enthusiasm. He

looked around the room and saw that she had finished sorting
through everything. His office, once a mass of cluttered papers, was
now neat and organized. "Looks good in here."

"Thank you." Elizabeth said. She looked around the room and
then smiled at him. She was obviously proud of herself and he
couldn't help but smile in return. She had that effect on him. They
stood there, looking at each other. Neither one seemed willing or
able to look away. Elizabeth blushed, which only made him smile
more. He kept looking at her, noticing little things he hadn't seen

85
before, like the way the sun coming through the window made gold
streaks in her hair. Or the way her nose turned up, just a little, on the
end. He'd been totally wrong about her. She wasn't just pretty in an
understated way. The more he looked at her, the more he realized
how beautiful she was. The reason he hadn't noticed before is
because she, herself, didn't seem to notice. Most of the women he
knew flaunted their beauty, played it up, MADE men notice, but not
Elizabeth. Her beauty was just there. A man had to look at her,
really look at her, to see it and he was looking at her now. He
wanted to keep looking at her for a very long time.

"Have you had any lunch?" He finally asked.

"No, I've been so busy finishing up in here, I haven't really paid

attention to the time."

"Well, that's not good. Why don't we go grab some lunch. My

treat."

"Oh, that's so sweet of you. You really don't have to do that."

"I want to. Besides, I'm starving and it'll give us a chance to go
over some of the things I need you to work on next. Kill two birds
with one stone and all that."

Elizabeth laughed and agreed. "Ok, since you put it that way."

86
 They left the adjunct building and walked over to the main
university hall where the cafeteria was located. They selected their
lunches and Noah led the way to a quiet table in the far corner of the
cafeteria. Noah wasted no time, finishing his sandwich and half of
his apple before Elizabeth had barely nibbled through half of her
meal. She nibbled a few more bites as he finished his apple and then
pushed her food aside.

"Is there something wrong with it?" He asked, concerned.

"No, it's fine. I still get a queasy stomach now and then so I try not
to eat too much at once. I'll finish it later. You were certainly hungry
though."

He laughed. "I told you I was starving. I wasn't kidding. I could

probably eat two more of those sandwiches."

"Would you like to finish mine? I can always get another one
later."

"As good as that sounds, I think I'll pass. If I eat that much food,
I'll be too sluggish to function for the rest of the day. Too much
work to do for that."

She pushed the sandwich towards him. "You can eat the sandwich
and have me do the work. How's that?"

87
 Noah laughed again. He loved her sense of humor.

"Speaking of work," She continued. "What ARE you going to

have me work on next?"

"Well, actually, there's something important I want to talk to you

about first."

Noah pulled the carefully folded sheet of paper out of his pocket
and handed it to Elizabeth. She unfolded it and started to read.
Realizing what it was, her face turned blood red and she looked up
at Noah, shocked surprise on her face.

"Where did you get this?"

"You left it in the book you gave back to me this morning."

She crumpled the paper in her hands. "You weren't meant to see
this. It's horrible."

Noah reached across the table and grabbed the hand that held the
crumpled paper. "No, Elizabeth. Please don't do that. It's not
horrible at all. That's what I want to talk to you about. It's really
good. Some of the best writing I've seen in a long time. You have
talent. Real talent."

Elizabeth just sat there, staring at the hands that held hers. Her

88
lips quivered and he could tell that she was fighting tears. Who
made this girl so unsure of herself? He reached for her other hand
and held on.

"Elizabeth, look at me."

Elizabeth looked up and a tear slid down one cheek.

"Believe in yourself, Elizabeth. Don't let anyone take that away

from you! Nobody! You have talent and I believe that, deep down,
you think so, too, or you wouldn't have even considered wanting to
write in the first place. I don't know what happened last night to
make you change your mind but I'm telling you, right now, to
change it back."

Elizabeth shook her head and tried to pull her hands away. Noah
refused to let go. Instead, he squeezed harder.

"I want you to sit in on my classes. I want you to write for me. I
want you to write for YOURSELF. You have way too much talent
to let it go to waste."

Elizabeth didn't respond. Just sat there, staring at their hands.

"Do you hear me, Elizabeth?"

Another tear slid down her cheek, but she nodded.

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 "I NEED you to do this." Noah said. Elizabeth looked up at him.
"Someone's gotta help me get my dissertation done. At the rate I'm
going, I'll be dead and buried before I get it done." He winked at her
and flashed what he hoped was a goofy grin. It worked. Elizabeth
started to laugh. Noah laughed too and within minutes, the two of
them were laughing so hard other people in the cafeteria were
staring at them. "Let's get out of here before everyone thinks we're
crazy."

Elizabeth glanced around the room and looked back at Noah. "I
think it's too late.

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 Chapter 9

Several days had gone by since her conversation with Noah in the
cafeteria and Elizabeth was actually happy. She'd decided to take
Noah's advice and was actually enjoying herself. Noah seemed to
enjoy having her in his classes too. Their working relationship was
developing into a comfortable friendship and Elizabeth had to admit
she liked being near him. When she was around him, she felt sure of
herself. More daring. Even Rebecca's moods hadn't been able to
dampen Elizabeth's enthusiasm. She still had moments of doubt
with her writing, but she kept going anyway. For sanity's sake and
to protect her self-confidence level, she kept her writing a secret
from Rebecca. The few times Rebecca had seen her writing, she
would simply say she was working on something for Noah and
Rebecca would leave her alone. What Rebecca didn't know,
wouldn't hurt her.

Only one thing continued to plague Elizabeth and that was her
continuing battle with stomach troubles. She had no idea what was
going on. The nausea during the day had disappeared but she still

91
battled with it every morning. Sipping ginger ale and nibbling on a
few crackers seemed to help, so she'd started keeping a package of
crackers in her dresser drawer and took a small glass of ginger ale to
her room each night. She didn't want Rebecca to find out what was
going on. It would give her one more thing to nag Elizabeth about.

This morning had been a particularly difficult morning and she'd

actually thrown up twice. When she stepped out of the bathroom
after the second time, she found Rebecca standing at the top of the
stairs. She looked at Rebecca and tried to judge whether or not she'd
heard anything, but if she had, she didn't say anything. She just
turned and walked down the stairs. Elizabeth hurried back to her
room.

She was halfway dressed when the answer popped into her head.
Oh God, please don't let it be that. She sat on the edge of the bed for
a minute, afraid to even think about it much less check. Finally, she
reached for her purse and pulled out the small calendar she kept
there. She counted back the weeks and then counted them again,
just to be sure. Too many weeks since the last set of little red circles.
She'd missed one and that most likely meant one thing. She tried to
tell herself there could be other explanations. Stress maybe? Some
other illness? But she knew. She was too regular for it to be
anything else and too many things started adding up. Being tired all
the time. Being more emotional than usual. Being hungry and
craving foods she didn't usually eat. It added up all right. One plus
one equals two. And that meant her life was going to get more

92
complicated. Really complicated. How in the world was she going
to raise a baby? She was having a hard enough time just trying to get
her own life straightened out.

She hurriedly finished dressing and left the house. On her way to
work, she stopped at the drug store and picked up a home pregnancy
test. When she arrived at the office, she went straight to the
bathroom and tore open the test. She quickly skimmed the
directions and did what she needed to do. Then she waited. Only
five minutes the directions said, but it felt more like an hour.

She was afraid to watch it during the waiting period. Afraid it

might jinx her or something. Only when the five minutes was up did
she look. Two little blue lines. Two little blue lines that were going
to turn her entire life upside down. She just sat there in the stall,
staring at the little piece of plastic in her hands. She was too stunned
even to cry. Finally, someone entered the bathroom and chose the
stall next to her. She suddenly felt the need to get out of there.

She hurriedly flushed the toilet and stepped out of the stall. She
washed her hands and then buried the pregnancy test deep in the
trash can where no one would see it. She glanced at herself in the
mirror, studied her reflection. She didn't look pregnant. Not yet
anyway. But for how long? How long could she hide this from
Rebecca? From Noah? From everyone who would judge her for this
mistake? She fled from the mirror and refused to think about it
anymore.

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 Chapter 10

When Elizabeth got to Noah's office, he was already there. As

soon as she walked through the door, he stood up and strode across
the room towards her.

"Good morning! Ready for class today?"

Elizabeth saw that Noah was smiling at her and smiled back. Her
mind was a complete blank though. None of the words Noah had
spoken registered in her brain. He tilted his head and leaned towards
her and she could see that he was expecting her to say something but
she had no idea what to say. Her smile faltered and his questioning
look immediately changed to one of concern.

"Elizabeth, are you ok? You're not feeling ill again are you?
Please, come sit down."

He led her over to the table and had her sit in one of the chairs. He

94
pulled a second chair around the table and sat directly in front of
her, studying her face. Before she was even aware of what was
happening, the tears welled up in her eyes and spilled over.
Mortified, she buried her face in her hands and tried desperately to
stop the tears that were now threatening to overwhelm her. She
heard Noah scoot his chair closer and then felt his hand on her
shoulder.

"Please tell me what's wrong, Elizabeth. Maybe I can help."

She took a deep breath and forced herself to stop crying. When
she'd finally regained control, she wiped the tears from her face and
looked at Noah, forcing a smile. There was no way she could tell
him what was really wrong. She'd have to make something up.
Something he would believe.

"I'm ok. Just being silly. It's a female thing. We always get a little
crazy around that time and I had a big argument with my sister and I
guess it bothered me a little. I'm ok now. I promise." She realized
she was rambling a bit and stopped talking. She looked him in the
eye and hoped he would buy her excuse. He studied her face and,
for a minute, she thought he wasn't going to buy it. But apparently,
her words convinced him and his face relaxed back into his easy
smile.

"I'm glad you're ok. You had me worried there for a minute.
Would you like to talk about what happened with your sister? I'm a

95
good listener."

"Thank you, Noah, but there's really nothing much to talk about.
It was just two sisters bickering at each other. And things always
seem worse, you know, at that time."

"I understand." Noah suddenly seemed awkward and she realized

that he wasn't comfortable talking about "female" issues, so she
changed the subject. She was uncomfortable as well. She was lying
to him and she didn't like lying, even when it was for a good reason.

"So, are you ready for class today?" She asked.

Noah burst out laughing.

For the remainder of the week, Elizabeth made a concerted effort

to focus on what was going on around her and to put on a normal
front. She couldn't afford to have Noah, Rebecca, or anyone else
thinking that something was wrong. Only when she was alone in her
room at night did she allow herself to break down and cry and worry
about her future. Eventually she ran out of tears and began making
tough choices. She knew it wouldn't be easy, but she was going to
keep her baby. Single women had babies all the time and they
survived. She could, too. Like Noah said, she needed to believe in
herself. For now, the baby would be her secret. She still had a little
time before she would start to show, and even in the early stages of
showing, she could probably hide it under her clothes. She needed

96
to use that time to get her life in order and get her own place. She
definitely couldn't afford to have Rebecca find out while she was
still living there. Once she was on her own, it wouldn't matter.
Rebecca would have no say.

As for Noah, she still wasn't quite sure how or when she would
tell him. Sooner or later, she knew she would have to. As her
employer, he had a right to know. But she couldn't tell him, or
anyone else, just yet. The risk of Rebecca finding out would be too
great.

Her first priority was to find a doctor and start getting prenatal
care. She needed to make sure both she and her baby stayed healthy
and strong, so she could work as long as possible and save money to
get her own place. She would have to be discreet though. She
couldn't ask Rebecca to recommend one. If she did that, Rebecca
would figure things out pretty quick. She could pick one out of a
phone book, but that wasn't the best way to find a doctor either. She
would have to ask Samantha. Samantha would never guess and if
she did, at least Elizabeth could trust her to keep the secret.

97
 Chapter 11

Elizabeth and Samantha sat on the couch in Samantha's

apartment, talking and laughing, just like old times. It was the first
time they'd had a chance to get together since running into each
other at the coffee shop more than a week ago and Elizabeth was
enjoying every minute.

"This is a great apartment!" Elizabeth commented as she looked

around.

It was a tiny, one bedroom apartment, painted in the typical

neutral colors that apartments are always painted in. However, the
deep chocolate brown carpeting and wood trim, stained to match,
made the apartment warm and inviting. Samantha had done a good
job of decorating, too. The walls were decorated with various nature
photos, artistically placed around the room to play off of the woodsy
colors and create a natural feel to the room.

It was sparsely furnished, not unusual for young people just

98
starting out in life, but Samantha had done a good job with what she
had. The couch they were sitting on was actually a futon, though
you wouldn't know it. It had a solid wood frame, which Samantha
had stained herself to match the wood accents in the room and she'd
invested in upgrading the futon mattress to one of high quality. It
was firm and very comfortable, as good or better than some actual
couches she'd been on, and was beautifully covered with a taupe
colored suede material, decorated with sage green leaves.

On either end of the futon were brass end tables with glass tops,
which matched the coffee table that sat in front of the futon. Each
table had a small brass lamp with taupe shades to match the futon
cover. In the center of the coffee table, was a small plant that she
later discovered wasn't real but certainly looked as if it was. On the
far wall was a small entertainment center that held her modest sized
TV and stereo. On either side of the entertainment center stood
small brass bookcases with glass shelves that matched the end
tables and coffee table. The shelf on the right held Samantha's CD
collection, neatly arranged, and the shelf on the left held her DVDs.

Elizabeth couldn't help but envy her a little. She wanted a place
just like this for herself.

"Do you mind if I ask how much your rent is each month?" She
asked.

"Not at all. I pay $600 a month, plus my utilities. It's really

99
affordable."

"Wow, is that all? An apartment like this in Chicago would cost

well over a thousand dollars!"

Samantha laughed. "Everything is cheaper in small towns. I

couldn't imagine trying to survive in a big city. I took a trip to New
York right after I graduated and was shocked at how much
everything cost there. I was glad to come home and settle in here. I
can have a nice place and still have money left over to save for a
house someday."

"I envy you. I would love to have a place like this."

"You can, Elizabeth. You've got a job now. I'm sure you could
afford the rent. You just need to save up enough for the security
deposit and first and last months rent. You can do that in no time!"

"You think so?"

"Sure! If you want, I can talk to the landlord and have him let me
know when something becomes available. These go pretty fast and
people tend to stick around, so it's not always easy to get in here. I'll
make sure you get first dibs on one if one opens up."

"I don't know. What if one opens up before I have enough time to
save up the money I need?"

100
 "So, I'll lend it to you. I have a little money saved and it would be
great for us to be neighbors. We could hang out all the time!"

"I couldn't ask you to do that, Samantha."

"Don't be silly, Elizabeth. I know you would pay it back. I trust

you."

"I know, but my life is just so crazy right now."

"You know what? I have a great idea! They have two bedroom
units here, too. What if I ask the landlord to keep an eye out for one
of those and I can transfer up and we could be roommates. My
deposit would transfer and, since I've been here for years, they
probably wouldn't require first and last months rent. You could
move in and just have to cover your half each month, which would
be a lot less than an apartment all by yourself. What do you think?"

"I don't know. Can I think about it?"

"Sure thing. I'll talk to the landlord and you can let me know later
what you decide. It sure would be cool to share a place though. We'd
be just like sisters!"

Elizabeth grimaced and Samantha laughed.

101
 "Oops, probably not the best reference considering your
relationship with Rebecca."

Elizabeth laughed and shook her head. "I wish I could figure out
what goes on between me and her. Sometimes I swear she hates
me."

"I don't know, Elizabeth. Maybe it's just the way she is. Maybe
she's wired funny or something. She was like that even when we
were kids. Always picking on you."

"Oh well. I don't want to talk about her tonight. Tonight is about
having fun. When does the movie start?"

Samantha glanced at the clock on the wall. "We've got about an

hour and a half before we have to leave."

"Hey, I've been meaning to ask you." Said Elizabeth, trying to be

as nonchalant as possible. "Do you know of a good Ob/Gyn?"

"The one I go to is pretty good. Why?"

"Well, it's about time to renew my prescription and I don't have a

doctor here. I don't really want to pick one out of the phone book
and I definitely couldn't ask Rebecca. She's way too nosy."

"Prescription huh? Planning on having fun with somebody?

102
Maybe that hot boss you keep telling me about?"

Elizabeth cracked up. "I wish!" Then she realized it sounded like
she was wishing about Noah and quickly tried to clarify. "Not about
Noah. I mean about having fun with somebody. After that disaster
of a relationship with Eric, though, I don't think I'm going to be
having 'fun' with anyone for a while and I certainly have no
intention of messing with my boss!"

"Doesn't mean you can't fantasize though!"

An image of her with Noah flashed through Elizabeth's mind and,

she had to admit, it wasn't exactly unappealing. He was definitely a
good looking man, very kissable. The more she thought about Noah
that way, the more she blushed and pretty soon, Samantha was
rolling on the floor laughing.

"You should see how red your face is!" She squealed.

They continued talking and laughing until it was time for them to
head to the movie theater. It felt good to relax and be herself with
Samantha. Samantha and her father had always been the two people
in her life who truly cared about her and loved her just the way she
was, no conditions. She regretted the lost years between them but
was so glad to have Samantha back, especially now that her father
was gone.

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 After the movie, they exited the theater and were about to head
back to Samantha's car when someone called out to Elizabeth. She
turned to see Noah heading towards them. Samantha leaned towards
here and whispered in her ear.

"Who is THAT?"

Elizabeth smiled in spite of herself. "That's Noah, my boss."

"THAT'S Noah? Oh my God!"

Before Elizabeth could say anything else, Noah reached them. He

nodded politely at Samantha and then moved his gaze to Elizabeth,
a smile quickly spreading across his face.

"Hello, Elizabeth. Wasn't expecting to see you tonight. Enjoying

the weekend?"

Elizabeth just looked at him, blushing furiously. In spite of

herself, the image of her and Noah together from earlier in the
evening had leapt into her mind and now that he was standing there
in front of her, her fantasy mind seemed to go into overdrive. The
more she tried to fight off the images of Noah kissing her, touching
her, holding her, the more vivid those images became. She could see
him watching her and was terrified that he might read her mind. She
glanced over at Samantha, who was grinning at her. Samantha was
definitely reading her mind.

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 "Hi. I'm Samantha, Elizabeth's best friend since grade school.
You must be Noah."

Elizabeth was grateful that Samantha had stepped in and said

something. It gave her the few seconds she needed to regain her
composure. By the time she had, Samantha and Noah had finished
shaking hands and exchanging hellos, and Noah's attention had
returned to Elizabeth. She wished he would stop looking at her like
that. Those intense brown eyes almost seemed to be touching her
and that smile made her tingle all over. He was making it impossible
to keep those images out of her mind.

"I was heading to the coffee shop just around the corner from
here. Would you two like to join me?" Although he invited the both
of them, his eyes never left Elizabeth's face.

"That would be great!" Said Samantha, accepting the invitation

before Elizabeth could say anything.

The three of them turned and started walking. They'd only gone a
short distance before Samantha spoke again.

"Actually, I just forgot there's something I have to do. You two go

ahead and enjoy the evening. I'll talk to you tomorrow, Elizabeth.
You don't mind driving her home, do you, Noah?"

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 "Not at all." Noah smiled at Elizabeth again.

"Samantha!" Elizabeth shot Samantha a look, trying to tell her not

to do this without actually saying the words, but Samantha just
grinned at her. She knew exactly what she was doing!

"You guys have fun!" She waved and quickly jogged away before
Elizabeth could protest any further. When she was gone, Elizabeth
looked over at Noah and blushed. Thankfully, it was dark and they
were far enough from the nearest lights that he probably wouldn't be
able to see it. He stepped closer to her and her skin tingled as she felt
his hand touch her shoulder and then slide down to the middle of her
back as he turned her in the direction they needed to go. The short
walk to the coffee shop was silent. Elizabeth avoided looking at
Noah and pretended to be interested in looking at everything around
her as they walked. She could feel Noah's eyes on her though. She
knew he was watching her and it unnerved her.

At the coffee shop, Noah ordered coffee and Elizabeth ordered

hot chocolate, which Noah insisted on paying for. They moved over
to a table near the window and sat in silence, sipping their drinks.
After a while, the silence began to feel awkward.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Noah finally asked. Elizabeth's

eyes snapped to his face. He seemed amused. Elizabeth let out a
nervous laugh and turned her eyes back to the window.

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 "I'm sorry. I'm not used to seeing my boss outside of work. I don't
really know what to say."

"Tell me about yourself." Noah coaxed.

Elizabeth launched into a recitation of her job skills and work

history, but stopped when she realized Noah was laughing. She shot
him an angry look, which only made him laugh more. He was
laughing so hard, no sound came out other than an occasional gasp
for air.

"What's so funny?" She demanded.

He struggled to regain his composure, lost it again briefly, and

finally managed to get himself under control. "I didn't mean your
job history. This isn't an interview. You've already got the job,
Elizabeth." As soon as he got the words out, he started laughing
again.

Elizabeth tried to remain angry, impaling him with as much of a

withering glare as she could muster, but he only laughed harder and
the more she thought about it, the harder it was to stay angry. She
finally had to laugh herself. It was kind of funny. When the two of
them finally stopped laughing, Noah tried asking the question again.

"Tell me about YOU." He said. "What was your life like before
you came back to Oak Tree? What made you come back? I don't

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really know much about you, personally."

Elizabeth hesitated, not sure how much she wanted to tell him.
She finally decided to give him a much watered down version,
telling him she'd decided to come back to Oak Tree after getting laid
off from her job and breaking up with an old boyfriend. Before he
could ask for more, she turned the tables and demanded to know
more about him. He obliged, telling her about his love of teaching
and writing, about wanting to get his dissertation finished so he
could get his PhD and become a full fledged professor with tenure
instead of just an adjunct. By the time they had finished their drinks,
Elizabeth was feeling much more comfortable with him and had
actually started enjoying herself. She realized there was a lot more
to Noah than just what she knew of him at the office. In spite of the
good time she was having, it was getting late and Elizabeth couldn't
stop from yawning.

"I'm sorry, it's really late. I shouldn't have kept you out so long.
Let's get you home." They stood and prepared to leave. "Elizabeth,
before we go, I wanted to ask you something. There's a creative
writer's conference at the University in Cedarville tomorrow and I
have an extra ticket. I'd love it if you'd go with me. We can make a
day of it. Have lunch after the conference before driving back. It's
only a few hours away. I'm looking to get a few ideas for my classes
and it would be great to get your input."

Elizabeth thought about saying no but decided against it. She'd

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rather spend the day with Noah than spend it stuck at home with
Rebecca.

"I'd love to go, Noah." Elizabeth was pleased when she saw
Noah's face light up. She liked making Noah happy.

Thirty minutes later, he dropped her off at home. She let herself in
and tiptoed quietly to her room, careful not to wake Rebecca. Once
inside, she sat on the edge of her bed. I can't believe I just agreed to
spend the entire day with Noah tomorrow! She was a little nervous,
but not as much as she expected to be. We're just friends, she told
herself. Friends and co-workers. This is nothing more than two
friends going to a conference together to get some ideas for work.
She crawled into bed and, in spite of her insistence to herself that
they were just friends, she fell asleep with vivid fantasy images of
kissing Noah dancing in her head.

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 Chapter 12

Noah dropped Elizabeth off at home and drove slowly back

across town to his own home. He couldn't seem to get Elizabeth out
of his mind lately. He thought about her all the time. He liked being
near her. He'd had several girlfriends over the years, but they'd
always been mostly physical attraction. Eventually, he'd get bored
with them and move on. He just didn't connect with any of them.
Couldn't talk to them or share with them the things that really
mattered. With Elizabeth, it was different. She was beautiful, as
beautiful as any of the women he'd dated, but when he was with her,
that wasn't what mattered to him. Most of the time, he didn't even
think of her appearance.

With her, it was something deeper. He felt comfortable with her

in a way he never did with the others. He could talk to her and she
understood what he was saying. She wasn't afraid to contradict him
either. The other women he'd been around always seemed to agree
with everything he said, even if they had no idea what he meant.
They thought it was what he wanted and did it to get what they

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wanted. But it never worked. Instead, it turned him off and he was
never able to make them understand what they were doing wrong.
Eventually, he'd get bored and break it off. The women would cry,
get angry at him, some would plead with him for a second chance,
but it was always over.

Now, here was Elizabeth in his life and she was the way he'd
always wanted the other women to be. He kept trying to remind
himself that she was his employee. That getting involved with her
was NOT a good idea. But, no matter what he told himself, he
couldn't deny that he was developing feelings for her. He couldn't
wait to get to work each day so he could be near her. He hated the
end of the day, knowing he had so many hours to think about her
before he could be with her again. He was always distracted,
disorganized, even more than usual. It made getting his dissertation
done that much harder. Today had been the worst. He was driving
himself crazy knowing he would have to go all weekend before
seeing her again. When he'd run into her outside the movie theater,
he'd been thrilled. When her friend had taken off and left him alone
with her, he could barely contain his excitement.

They'd spent a wonderful evening together, talking and laughing.

He could tell that she'd been uncomfortable at first, but as they
talked, she started to loosen up and he got a glimpse of the person
inside, the one she kept hidden most of the time. He liked that
person. It was the person he saw in her writing and he enjoyed
finding ways to coax her out. By the end of the evening, things had

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been going well. He could have stayed there all night, but he could
see how tired she was. Asking her to attend the conference
tomorrow had been unplanned. The extra ticket had actually been
for one of the other English professors who'd had to cancel at the
last minute. The invitation had just popped out of his mouth without
much thought, but as soon as it was out there, he knew he really
wanted her to go. He couldn't stand the idea of spending the entire
day without seeing her. To his surprise, she'd said yes.

He'd wanted her to say yes but wasn't sure she would. She often
seemed hesitant and self-conscious around him. There were times
when he thought she might be interested in him, but at other times,
he wasn't so sure. She was very reserved with her inner thoughts and
feelings and was often very hard to read. He hoped to change that
and tomorrow would be the perfect opportunity. He would have her
all to himself for the 3 hour drive there and the 3 hour drive back
and she'd agreed to have lunch with him after the conference. With
all that time together, her guard was bound to come down sooner or
later. It had started to this evening and he hoped it would continue to
crumble tomorrow. He couldn't wait for morning to arrive.

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 Chapter 13

The next morning, Elizabeth woke up early and got dressed as

quietly as she could, not wanting to wake Rebecca. She was
downstairs, watching out the front window for Noah to arrive, when
Rebecca came down the stairs.

"What are you doing?" Rebecca asked.

Damn it! Elizabeth swore under her breath. I was hoping to get
out of here before she got up.

She put on an innocent face and turned to Rebecca. "Noah is

picking me up. We're going to a creative writing conference in
Cedarville. He's looking for some new techniques to use in his
classes and wanted me to come along and take notes. Save him the
trouble of having to bring me up to speed later."

"Oh." She responded, not seeming convinced. "You didn't

mention it earlier. I suppose you were just going to leave without

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saying anything and make me wonder where you were?"

Elizabeth sighed. Leave it to Rebecca to find something to

criticize.

"No, actually, I was just getting ready to leave you a note."

"While standing at the window?"

"No, not at the window. I was on my way to the kitchen and I

thought I heard a car pull up out front. I was just checking to see if
Noah had arrived early."

"Well, you've told me now, so I guess you don't have to bother

with a note." Her voice dripped with sarcasm. "How long will you
be gone?"

"Probably the whole day. We'll probably stop and get dinner on
the way back." It wasn't the whole truth, but Rebecca didn't need to
know that. Noah had only mentioned lunch and she assumed they'd
be back well before dinner. She'd just have to find somewhere else
to go. Maybe over to Samantha's. Anything to avoid being
questioned once again by Rebecca. Rebecca had just opened her
mouth to say something when they heard a car pull up out front. A
quick glance confirmed that it was Noah and Elizabeth hurried out
the door before Rebecca could say anything else.

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 "See ya later!" She called without looking back. She hurried
down the driveway and hopped into Noah's car. As they backed out
of the driveway, she caught a glimpse of Rebecca, peeking through
the living room curtains. She didn't care. She was going to have a
good day and there was nothing Rebecca could do to ruin it. She
turned and smiled at Noah. He grinned back.

The ride to Cedarville passed quickly and Elizabeth was having a

wonderful time. She'd been so thrilled to get away from Rebecca
that she hadn't even thought about being nervous around Noah and
had chatted easily with him all the way there. They'd started out
talking about the conference and writing in general, but before she
knew it, she'd started telling Noah about her father. In many ways,
Noah reminded her of her father. He had the same passion for
literature that her father had and, once she'd gotten past her
nervousness with him, she found it easy to talk to him, the same way
it had always been with her father. She could imagine them sitting
together and discussing authors and their writing techniques for
hours, arguing over the merits of one or the other, the same way she
used to do with her dad. For a brief instant, the old adage that
women always fall in love with men just like their fathers crossed
her mind, but she quickly pushed that thought away. Noah and I are
just friends, she told herself. We get along well because we are a lot
alike. Just because I like him, doesn't mean I'm falling in love with
him. This is Noah, my boss, my friend, nothing more.

The conference went well and when it was over, Elizabeth had

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many thoughts and ideas that she couldn't wait to share with Noah.
She'd learned so many things that she could apply to her own
writing and had some great ideas for how Noah could use some of
these ideas in his classes. She could barely contain herself as Noah
chatted about getting lunch at a nearby diner he knew of. She barely
managed to wait until they were seated and had ordered lunch. As
soon as the waitress walked away, she exploded with excitement,
chattering her thoughts and ideas as fast as she could. When she
finally stopped for breath, she realized that Noah was staring at her,
open mouthed with amazement. She just couldn't help herself. She
really loved this stuff and couldn't wait to start using some of it in
her own writing.

"I'm so glad you enjoyed it. I knew you would." Said Noah,
grinning. "And you have some great ideas there. At least I think.
You're talking so fast, I can barely make sense of what you're
saying. Maybe I should have you write it all down. Huh?"

"I'd LOVE to!" She said, and grinned. She knew he was teasing
her and was enjoying it. She couldn't ever remember having this
much fun with a man. She certainly had never enjoyed being with
Eric this much.

They lingered over lunch, chatting about the conference.

Eventually Noah suggested they get going. The poor waitress was
giving them frustrated looks and they had a long drive back to Oak
Tree. He left a generous tip on the table to make up for all the time

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they'd been there and they headed home. The drive back went just as
quickly as the drive there had gone. They continued their
conversation from the restaurant and were having a great time,
enjoying each other's company immensely. About a half hour
outside of Oak Tree, Elizabeth grew quiet. She was having such a
good time and didn't want it to end. She certainly wasn't ready to go
back to Rebecca's and couldn't anyway. She had told her she would
be gone all day.

"What's wrong?" Noah asked, glancing over at her. "You got

quiet all of a sudden."

"Oh, nothing." She lied. "I'm just having such a good time. It's
always a let down when you're having fun and it comes to an end. I
guess I'm just not ready to go home."

"Who says you have to go home?"

Elizabeth looked at him. He was staring out the window,

watching traffic, but he had a goofy grin on his face. He knew she
was looking at him and started to laugh.

"I'm sure we can find something to do for a few hours. By then it

will be time for dinner and we can go get something to eat. What
would you like to do?"

Elizabeth tried to think of it but her mind drew a blank. She really

117
had no idea what to do in Oak Tree. The last time she'd lived here,
she'd been a teenager and that meant hanging out with other kids at
the mall, not exactly something she and Noah would do. Since she'd
been back, the only thing she'd done was go to a movie with
Samantha.

"A movie?" She suggested.

"Ok, a movie it his." Said Noah.

Elizabeth relaxed and her good mood returned, happy to know

she didn't have to go home just yet and her day with Noah wasn't
over.

Elizabeth enjoyed every minute at the movie theater, although she

didn't really remember much of the movie they'd seen. She'd been
too conscious of the nearness of Noah to concentrate on what she
was seeing on the screen. When he casually put his arm around her
shoulder about halfway through, it was all she could do to keep
herself composed. Every nerve ending in her body was alive and
kicking. The fantasy images from the night before came back with a
vengeance and she couldn't get the thought of kissing him out of her
mind. He just smelled so darn good and his body was so warm and
comforting next to hers. She loved the way his arm felt around her.
Contented, she finally relaxed and settled her head against his
shoulder. She spent the rest of the movie day dreaming about him
and enjoying the sensation of his rough cheek occasionally brushing

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across the top of her head. She hoped the evening would never end.

All too soon, the movie ended. Noah surprised her by reaching for
her hand and holding it as they headed back to the car. At the
restaurant, he hurried around to open the car door for her and again
took her hand to assist her as she got out, then he placed his hand at
the small of her back and lead the way to the restaurant door. They
enjoyed their dinner together and Elizabeth found it harder and
harder not to look at Noah and every time she looked at him, she
found him looking at her too. Their eyes would meet and he would
smile that charming smile of his and she couldn't help but smile
back. She knew she was crazy to be doing this, to be letting herself
feel this way about Noah, but she didn't want to think those
thoughts, so she pushed them away. She could deal with that
tomorrow. For tonight she was having fun and enjoying life. Reality
would return soon enough. One night wouldn't hurt anything.

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 Chapter 14

Sooner than Elizabeth wanted, it was time for him to take her
home. She grew quiet again on the ride home. She felt like
Cinderella at the stroke of midnight, forced to give up the evening
and return to real life. Noah reached over and touched her shoulder,
a reassuring touch. She tried to smile for him, but it was weak and
faded away within seconds. When they pulled up in front of the
house, she just sat there. He sat there next to her. She knew he was
looking at her but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. If she
did, she wasn't sure she'd be able to get out of the car. She chose,
instead, to stare at her hands, which sat limply in her lap.

"I had a good time today." She finally said, still staring into her
lap.

"I had a wonderful time, too." He replied.

They sat there, the silent moments stretching on and on.

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 "Well, I guess I'd better get inside." Elizabeth finally said.

Noah sighed but didn't say anything. When she didn't say
anything else, he got out of the car and came around to open her
door for her. She got out, still avoiding looking at him, and headed
to the door. She could hear him walking behind her. When they
reached the door, he grabbed her arm before she could go in and
turned her around to face him. When she didn't look at him, he said
her name and waited. When she still didn't look, he brushed his
hand across her cheek and under the chin, gently tilting her head up.
As soon as her eyes made contact with his, she felt her heart
breaking. Finally she'd met a man who made her feel the way she
always dreamed she'd feel when she fell in love and everything was
all wrong. He was her boss, completely off limits, and she was
pregnant with another man's child. Nothing could be so wrong. But,
oh how she wanted it to be right. She'd never wanted anything as
much as she wanted this moment to be right, to last forever.

A moment earlier, she couldn't bring herself to look at him. Now,

she couldn't tear her eyes away from him. He just stood there,
looking into her eyes. He seemed to be searching for something in
her. She had no idea what, so she just stood there and let him look.
A moment later, he touched her cheek again, tilting her head a little
more. He moved a little closer and lowered his head towards hers.
Before she even had time to think about what he was going to do,
his lips brushed hers, first softly, barely touching, and then firmer.
She felt a shock of pleasure tingle from her lips, down to her toes,

121
and back up again. She just stood there, riveted to the spot. When he
paused, she thought he was ending the kiss and couldn't bear to let it
stop. She leaned forward and he kissed her again. More deeply this
time and she kissed him back. All the years of pent up passion being
released at once. Without thinking, her arms went up around his
neck and her fingers slipped through the soft hair at the nape of his
neck. She kissed him with everything she had, as if it would be the
last kiss she ever experienced in her life and wanted to make the
memory of a lifetime. She briefly thought of the fantasies she'd had,
dreaming of kissing him, and realized they hadn't even come close.
Kissing him for real was so much more, so much better. She
couldn't help but smile. When he felt her smile, he leaned back,
keeping her in his arms, and looked at her. He studied her face.
Something he seemed to do a lot lately and then he smiled.

She wanted to kiss him again but a sound just inside the door
reminded her of where she was and she suddenly had the thought
that Rebecca might be up and watching them at that very moment.

"I should go in now." She said, and stepped out of his arms. "I'll
see you tomorrow. Good night."

"Good night, Elizabeth." His voice was different somehow and

she looked at him one more time. Was that longing she saw? She
didn't know. What she did know was that if she didn't step inside
right now, she never would. So she turned and walked through the
front door.

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 ***

On the other side of the door, waiting for her, was Rebecca,
sitting at the bottom of the stairs. Rebecca didn't have to say a word.
Her expression made it clear that she had been spying on Elizabeth
and Noah and she was NOT happy about what she saw. Elizabeth
just didn't care. She barged past Rebecca and marched up the stairs.

"I'm tired. See ya in the morning." She said and headed to her
room without a backwards glance. She'd deal with Rebecca in the
morning. For now, she wanted to revel in the bliss she was feeling
over Noah's kisses. She refused to let Rebecca ruin it for her. She
was going to have sweet dreams tonight.

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 Chapter 15

When her alarm went off the next morning, she groaned and
tucked her head under the pillow. She didn't want to wake up and
face the day. As soon as she did, last night would be officially over.
Unfortunately, the alarm remained insistent and she had no choice
but to get up and turn it off. She dressed slowly, dreading the
confrontation with Rebecca that she knew was coming. She could
hear Rebecca down in the kitchen and knew from the way she was
banging things around, she was clearly working herself into a tizzy.
She was mad. Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed for a bit, hoping
Rebecca would think she wasn't coming down and leave, but
Rebecca didn't budge and Elizabeth knew she was waiting and
would keep waiting until Elizabeth came down. She finally gave in
and headed to the kitchen. She'd barely stepped out of the hall when
Rebecca attacked.

"What the HELL were you thinking last night? Are you really that
stupid, Elizabeth? Getting involved with your boss? My God. I
knew you were thoughtless and immature but I NEVER thought

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you were this bad!"

"Rebecca--"

"No! Don't speak! Whatever your excuse is going to be, it's not
going to be good enough and I don't want to hear it. Not only are
you creating a mess out of your job, you're going to humiliate
yourself and ME in front of everyone at the University. How could
you do that? God, you are so selfish! I wish you would go back to
Chicago. Hell, go anywhere! Anywhere but here!"

Elizabeth just stood there letting her rant. There was nothing she
could say at this point that wouldn't inflame Rebecca even more. It
was better to just let her burn herself out. When Rebecca had finally
run out of insults and rage, she approached Elizabeth, putting their
faces just inches apart.

"Put a stop to this NOW, Elizabeth." She said in her most

menacing voice. "Before it goes any further. You tell him it was a
mistake and you were caught up in the moment. I mean it,
Elizabeth. Stop this. If you don't, I won't allow you to stay here
anymore. I can't make you leave Oak Tree, but I can make you get
out of my house and out of my life. The choice is yours."

Rebecca marched down the hallway, heels clicking angrily on the

hallway floor, and slammed the door on her way out. Elizabeth just
stood in the kitchen, staring into space.

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 As much as she hated to admit Rebecca was right about anything,
she had to admit Rebecca was right about this. Getting involved
with Noah really was a bad idea. She'd known that last night and
chose to ignore it. Now reality was here, slapping her in the face and
she had no choice but to accept it, painful as it was. Even worse, she
was going to have to face Noah and find a way to put a stop to
whatever she had started without totally destroying everything. She
needed her job and she enjoyed Noah's friendship. She just had to
accept that it was nothing more than that. Friendship and that was
all. She would have to make that clear to Noah and hope he'd
understand. She'd been crazy to think, even for a moment, that there
could ever be anything else. Did she really think there was any hope
of being with him? Did she think he'd just happily carry on with her
when he found out she was carrying another man's child? Would
any man? He'd think she was just trying to catch whatever man she
could to be a father for her kid. He'd feel used and cheated and she
wouldn't be able to blame him. No, Rebecca was right. She had to
stop this.

She was out the door and halfway down the driveway when a
sudden burst of nausea flipped her stomach in somersaults. She
raced back inside and ran to the downstairs bathroom on the other
side of the kitchen. She barely made it through the doorway before
she violently threw up. Thank God the toilet seat was up. She stood
there heaving, waiting for the nausea to subside. For the next twenty
minutes, she stood there, vomiting and heaving, wave after wave

126
overwhelming her. When it finally subsided, she sank, exhausted, to
the floor and sat there for a while. She thought about the little life
growing inside her and wondered who he or she might be.

"What a way to start the day, huh kid?" She said, patting her
stomach. She wondered if the baby could feel it. She certainly
couldn't feel the baby yet and wondered what it would feel like
when she finally did. Eventually she got up off the floor, cleaned up
after herself, and left for work, considerably late.

When she arrived at the office, Noah had already gone to class.
She thought about heading over there but just didn't feel like going.
Not today. She needed some time alone to think and work up the
courage to talk to Noah. She didn't have a clue about what to say to
him about the night before and didn't know how to put a stop to
things without hurting his feelings. No matter what she said, it was
going to come out awkward. Breaking off relationships were
something she had very little experience with. Eric had been the
first real relationship for her and breaking it off with him had been
fueled by anger, which had made it much easier. With Eric, she
wasn't worried about not hurting him and she also didn't have
anything to lose. With Noah, it was different. She didn't want to hurt
him and couldn't afford to lose her job. Even more than that, she
desperately didn't want to lose his friendship. He and Samantha
were the only two people who made her feel like she mattered and
she needed them both.

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 She spent the next two hours sitting at Noah's desk trying to write
down the ideas she'd gotten from the conference the day before, but
nothing would come out. The more she tried, the more frustrated
she became. Before long, she had a splitting headache. When Noah
returned to the office, he found her still sitting there, her head in her
hands.

"Thank God, you're here! I was worried sick when you didn't
show up this morning or come to class."

She looked up at him and tried to pretend that nothing was wrong.
"I'm sorry, Noah. I overslept this morning" She lied. "and by the
time I got here, you'd already gone to class. I didn't want to walk in
in the middle of things so I just stayed here and tried to get some
work done."

Noah studied her for several minutes. "Don't lie to me, Elizabeth.
I can tell something is wrong. What's wrong? Talk to me!"

Elizabeth tried hard to keep up her brave face but the tears welled
up against her will and started spilling over. She buried her face in
her hands and tried to get control but the tears just kept coming. She
felt Noah approach her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"Please talk to me. Tell me what's wrong."

"I've got a splitting headache." She sobbed into her hands.

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 "What?" Noah reached down and tried to pull her hands away
from her face. "Elizabeth, I can't understand what you're saying.
Look at me. Talk to me."

She dropped her hands into her lap and looked at Noah, who was
kneeling on the floor in front of her. He reached up and brushed
some of the tears off of her cheek, which only made her cry more.

"Tell me what's wrong." He asked again.

"I've got a splitting headache this morning." She answered.

"What else?"

She looked at him and shook her head but he wasn't buying it.

"Please tell me what else is bothering you, Elizabeth. It's more

than a headache." When she didn't respond, he spoke again. "Is it
about last night?"

Slowly she nodded her head. "Oh Noah! I'm so sorry! I really like
you and I like that we've become such good friends. I had such a
good time with you yesterday and I just got caught up in the
evening. Now I'm afraid I let things go too far and everything is all
messed up."

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 "It's ok, Elizabeth."

"No, it's not ok. I want things to go back to the way they were, us
just being friends, but I don't want you to hate me or think I was
leading you on. I didn't mean to. Honest, I didn't."

Noah grabbed both of her hands and looked straight into her eyes.
"Elizabeth, listen to me. It's OK. I'm not going to think you led me
on. And nothing between us is going to change. I value your
friendship, too, and I'm not about to let anything happen to ruin it.
Let's just pretend last night didn't happen, ok? We had a great day at
the conference and a lovely dinner together and that's where it ends,
ok?"

"Thank you so much, Noah. I've been worried sick over this. My
head is killing me."

"C'mon, follow me."

Noah stood up and pulled her out of the chair. He lead her down
the hall to a small lounge with a sofa along one wall. He grabbed the
small throw pillows and piled them on one end of the sofa.

"Here, lie down for a while and get some rest. I'll go get you some
aspirin." When Elizabeth started to protest, he placed a finger over
her lips. "Shhh. Don't argue with me. I'm the boss, remember? You
aren't any good to me if you keep making yourself sick. Just lie

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down and rest for a while. If the headache hasn't gone away in an
hour, I'll take you home. The work will still be there tomorrow."

Noah left the room and returned within minutes, two Tylenol and
a cold glass of water in his hands. Elizabeth dutifully followed
orders and swallowed both before lying down on the sofa. Within
minutes, she was fast asleep. She slept fitfully for several hours,
only vaguely aware of waking to see Noah standing in the lounge
doorway watching her before falling back to sleep. By the time she
woke up most of the day had gone by. She crept quietly down the
hall to the bathroom, hoping no one would come along and see her
before she could get there and straighten herself up. When she
reached the mirror, she was shocked at her appearance. Her face
was pale and puffy and her hair was sticking up in every direction.
She did her best to restore her appearance as close to normal as
possible and headed back to Noah's office. She found him sitting at
his desk, feet propped up, reading a book. When she walked in, he
immediately sat up and smiled at her.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, I think so. The headache is gone. How long did I sleep?"

"About 3 hours or so."

"You should have woken me after an hour."

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 "I couldn't do that. You obviously needed the rest."

"Well, thank you. I don't usually sleep during the day like that. I
always wake up feeling groggy."

"Well, the day is almost over anyway. Why don't you go home
and relax for the rest of the day. I think I might just do that myself."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Go. I'll see you tomorrow. Just promise me one thing."

"What's that."

"Promise me you'll take care of yourself and not make yourself

sick worrying about things. If something is bothering you, talk to
me, ok?"

"Ok."

"Promise?"

She smiled at Noah. "I promise."

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 Chapter 16

When she left work, she didn't feel like going back to the house,
so she walked to the coffee shop, which was quickly becoming one
of her favorite places, and called Samantha. She waited at the coffee
shop for an hour and then Samantha picked her up on the way home
from work. Back at Samantha's apartment, she flopped down on the
futon, still exhausted in spite of her nap during the day. She couldn't
believe how fatigued she seemed to be lately. It was as if the little
person growing inside of her was sapping away every ounce of her
energy.

"So, you want to tell me what's going on?" Asked Samantha,

flopping down at the other end.

"Oh Samantha, there is so much going on right now I don't know

where to begin. Rebecca is driving me crazy and now the situation
with Noah. I just don't know to deal with it all."

"Situation with Noah?" Samantha grinned at her. "Tell me about

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the situation with Noah. What happened after I left Saturday night?"

Elizabeth shook her head and laughed. "I could kill you for doing
that!"

"Yeah, yeah. Spill. Tell me the details. What happened?"

"Nothing much. Not Saturday night anyway."

Samantha leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "Go on."

"We had coffee and talked for a while and then Noah invited me
to go to a creative writing conference in Cedarville on Sunday. A
work thing, you know?"

"Yeah right!"

"It was!" Elizabeth insisted. "It was a good conference! It was

after the conference when everything went haywire. We had lunch
and came back to Oak Tree but when we got back, I just didn't feel
like going home and dealing with Rebecca. She's been so
impossible. So, Noah and I went to a movie and then had dinner.
When he took me home, it was late and he walked me to the door."

"Oh, this is getting good!"

"Oh hush, Samantha! Anyway, we were standing there saying

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good night and Noah just kissed me. It was crazy. I should have
stopped it right there, but I don't know. I got caught up in the
moment and kissed him back. Unfortunately, Rebecca was
watching out the window and saw the whole thing. She went
berserk on me this morning."

"Oh my God! You guys kissed? I KNEW he liked you. I could tell
by the way he was looking at you Saturday night. That's why I left
you two alone. I had a feeling he wanted to ask you out. He's so hot!
Is he a good kisser?"

"Samantha, you are missing the point. Rebecca is livid over this.
Noah is my BOSS!"

"So? Lots of women end up marrying their boss! It's not THAT
crazy, Elizabeth. You can't let Rebecca mess up a good thing."

"Well, I don't think that's going to happen in my case and I can't

afford to mess up my job."

"It's not impossible, Elizabeth. Noah likes you. He couldn't keep

his eyes off of you Saturday night. When you introduced me, he
barely even noticed."

"He may like me, Samantha, but in a few months, he's not going
to want to be with me anymore and I can't mess up a good job by
pursuing a relationship that has no future!"

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 "What are you talking about? What's going to happen in a few
months? You're not making sense."

"There's something going on that I haven't told anybody. Not

even you or Rebecca and certainly not Noah."

"What is it? Is it serious?"

"If I tell you, you have to swear you won't tell ANYONE."

"Of course, I swear!"

Rebecca took a deep breath and blurted it out. "I'm pregnant!"

"Oh my God. Are you kidding?"

"I wish I was. When I left Eric, I had no idea. I just found out last
week. Rebecca will kill me if she finds out. Now you see why I can't
pursue anything with Noah, boss or not? What man is going to want
to stay with a woman whose carrying some other guy's kid?"

"I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. I don't know what to say. What are you
going to do?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I'm trying as hard as I can to save up

enough money to get my own place and then I guess I'm going to

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have a kid. Women do it all the time, so I'm sure I can, too. I just
need to take it one day at a time and figure it out."

"What about Noah? You'll have to tell him sooner or later. It's not
like you can hide this from him forever."

"I know."

"Maybe he won't care, you know? If he really likes you, he might

want to be with you anyway. Guys like that are rare but they do
exist. You should just be honest and tell him."

"I just don't know if I can deal with his response right now. It's
already awkward after the whole kissing episode."

"You really like him. don't you? You don't want to but you do."

Elizabeth frowned and tried to keep from crying. She'd already

cried enough in the past week.

"I just don't know what to do. If I let myself feel something for
Noah and he decides to walk away, I don't know if I can deal with
that. It'll break my heart. I certainly wouldn't be able to work for him
anymore. And either way, the situation with Rebecca will be bad.
Nothing I do is ever right with her. When I came back here, I really
hoped that things would be different now that we're grown up but, if
anything, they're worse. I can't talk to her about anything. I can't

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trust her to be there for me. You're more of a sister to me than she is.
I just don't understand why she's so hateful towards me."

"Have you ever tried talking to her about it? Just sit her down and
tell her how you feel. Tell her how much it hurts you when she
criticizes you like that. Maybe she really doesn't know."

"I don't know if she would listen."

"It's possible that she won't, but you won't know if you don't try.
Either way, you can't live your life based on what she thinks of you.
You have a right to be happy, Elizabeth. YOU are the one who has
to live your life, not Rebecca. Talk to her and talk to Noah. Tell
them both the truth. Once you know their reactions, it'll be a lot
easier to decide what to do for yourself. And if Noah still wants you,
take a chance. Be happy. Don't let Rebecca or Eric or anyone else
take it away from you. You have just as much right to be happy as
anyone else. No matter what."

Elizabeth leaned over and hugged Samantha. "Have I ever told

you what a great friend you are?"

"Probably, but you can tell me again anytime. I love to hear it."

Elizabeth laughed for a minute and then became serious again.

"No matter what happens, Samantha, I'm glad I came back to Oak
Tree and found our friendship again. I hope we never let time or

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space let us drift apart again."

"Me, too, kiddo. Me, too."

They sat quietly for a moment, each lost in thought. Then, out of
the blue, Samantha set the two of them laughing once more.

"So, you never did tell me. Is Noah a good kisser or what?"

Elizabeth laughed until she cried. "Yes, he's an awesome kisser."

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 Chapter 17

Elizabeth arrived home just as Rebecca and Bob were finishing

their dinner.

"There's plenty left." Said Bob. "Help yourself."

"Thank you." Elizabeth replied. "I had dinner at Samantha's."

"Thanks for the call to let me know." Snapped Rebecca. She

shoved her chair back from the table with a loud screech and walked
into the kitchen, tossing her dishes into the sink hard enough to send
water spraying halfway across the counter top. "Damn it!" She
grabbed a towel and angrily swiped it across the counter.

Elizabeth looked at Bob, who just shrugged his shoulders before

excusing himself. Elizabeth picked his dishes up off the table,
carried them into the kitchen, and dropped them carefully into the
dishwater. Rebecca continued her furious assault by towel on the
kitchen counter, even though all trace of the water was gone.

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 "Rebecca, I need to talk to you." She said softly.

"There's nothing to say!" Rebecca snapped back, still refusing to

look at her.

"Yes, there is." Rebecca continued mopping the counter and

didn't answer, so Elizabeth reached out and touched her arm.
"Please?"

Rebecca stopped mopping and stood there, glaring at the counter

top for several seconds. She finally turned her head, her eyes first
moving to the hand that still rested on her arm and then slowly
moving up to meet Elizabeth's. The anger in Rebecca's eyes felt like
a slap to the face and Elizabeth had to fight the urge to lower her
own eyes. Every fiber of her being was terrified of having this talk
with Rebecca, but she refused to back down from it. She had to try.
Their gazes remained locked, neither one willing to back down,
until finally Rebecca threw the towel on the counter and walked
back to the table. Elizabeth breathed a small sigh of relief. Any
victory against Rebecca, no matter how small, was a good one. She
walked to the table and took a seat facing Rebecca. She waited
patiently until Rebecca's eyes met hers.

"I want to talk to you about what's going on between us." She
started.

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 "You know exactly why I'm upset with you!"

"That's not what I'm talking about, Rebecca. I'm talking about our
relationship in general. About what's been going on between us long
before any of this happened."

"Don't be silly. Our relationship was fine before all this mess
started."

"No, Rebecca, it hasn't been and that there is exactly one of the
things I'm talking about. I'm tired of you always telling me that what
I think or what I feel is silly. I'm not stupid, Rebecca, and I don't
understand why you always need to make me feel that way. Why
can't we ever just talk like two adults. Like sisters! Sister's are
supposed to care about each other. Support each other, even when
one of them is being silly or making mistakes. Sisters are supposed
to be better than best friends. They're supposed to be the one person
you can turn to when the whole rest of the world lets you down."

She looked at Rebecca who was staring out the window. At least
the anger had drained out of her face. Elizabeth continued.

"I came here because I needed you, Rebecca. Not because I need
you to fix my life or tell me how to live it and certainly not because
I need someone to point out every single little thing I've done
wrong. I need you to be in my corner. To encourage me and remind
me that I can do it even when I'm scared to death and feel like I

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can't. I need you to LOVE me. Why can't you just love me?"

Elizabeth burst into tears and buried her face in her hands. This is
not the way she wanted this to go. She was trying to be strong, to
stand up to Rebecca and instead she was sitting here sobbing like a
little girl whose just lost her favorite doll. Why do things have to
hurt so much! When the tears finally slowed down, she looked up at
Rebecca. Rebecca was looking at her, an odd expression on her
face. Elizabeth reached across and laid her hand over one of
Rebecca's. Rebecca looked down at their hands touching but didn't
pull away.

"I love you, Rebecca, and I need you. Will you please just be my
sister?"

Rebecca continued looking at their hands, not responding to

Elizabeth's pleas. A variety of emotions seemed to flicker across her
face. Finally, she whispered something so softly, Elizabeth barely
heard it. "I'll try."

Elizabeth squeezed her hand. "That's all I ask." she said. When
Rebecca looked up at her, her eyes were misty. Elizabeth knew she
wouldn't actually cry. Rebecca rarely did. But just knowing the tears
were there, on the inside, meant the world to her. Those tears meant
there was hope. Elizabeth's own tears flowed freely down her face.

They sat there for a while, not speaking or moving. Neither one

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seemed willing to break the fragile peace that had developed
between them. Although Elizabeth was thrilled at the progress
they'd made, she was also torn. She knew there was one more thing
she needed to tell Rebecca and it terrified her. Her secret would
severely test the promise Rebecca had just made. Would she keep
her word or would it tear their relationship apart? There was only
one way to find out.

"I have one more thing I need to tell you, Rebecca. This is really,
really hard for me and I need you to be there for me. To just be my
sister, my friend. Will you do that?"

Rebecca didn't say anything, just nodded.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and slowly let the words exhale with
her breath. "I'm pregnant."

For a moment, there was no response from Rebecca and Elizabeth

started to think everything would be ok after all. Then suddenly, her
head snapped up and she yanked her hand away from Elizabeth's
grasp. The old Rebecca roaring to life.

"You're what?" She screamed, standing up so fast the chair she'd

been sitting on was sent crashing backwards to the floor.

"Rebecca--"

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 "Is that what this little talk was all about? All that sister crap?
That's what it was, wasn't it? You were just trying to soften me up,
make me feel guilty, so you could drop this little bomb and hope I
wouldn't get mad! You accuse me of making you feel stupid? You
obviously think I'm stupid if you think I'm going to fall for that
whole line of bull shit you just fed me."

"That's not true, Rebecca!"

"Bull Shit! You make me sick! Have you told Eric about this? I
assume it's his, right?" Rebecca shook her head in disgust. "No
wonder you're chasing after Noah. You got yourself knocked up,
drove the real father away, and now you're looking for a convenient
replacement. Well, you're a fool if you think I'm going to stand back
and let you get away with it."

Elizabeth tried to speak but Rebecca wouldn't let her get a word
in.

"You disgust me! You want me to LOVE you? Hah! It's all I can
do not to puke just having you in my home. I'm humiliated to even
be related to you!"

Elizabeth couldn't take any more and ran sobbing from the room.
She dashed up the stairs to her room, quickly packed a few things in
her suitcase, and fled the house, sobbing so hard she could barely
see where she was walking. She walked for hours, crying, until she

145
was so exhausted she couldn't take another step. She called
Samantha, the only person left she could count on.

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 Chapter 18

Elizabeth was so distraught when Samantha picked her up, she

couldn't even speak. Every time she tried to explain what had
happened, the sobs would start all over again. When they arrived
back at Samantha's apartment, Elizabeth collapsed on the futon and
cried herself to sleep. Samantha could do nothing but sit there and
watch.

She slept fitfully and woke up an hour later. Samantha was sitting
on the floor in front of the futon, watching TV with the volume
turned low. She instantly switched it off as soon as Elizabeth woke.

"Are you ok?" She asked, lines of worry etched on her face?

Elizabeth just nodded, not yet ready to trust her voice to speak.
Her heart still ached, small daggers of pain from it's broken pieces
slicing through her every time she thought of the horrible words
Rebecca had spoken to her. She'd been stupid to think she could
ever work things out with Rebecca. It was crystal clear to her now.

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Rebecca hated her, had always hated her, and would always hate her
and Elizabeth would probably never know why. She didn't know
what she would do now. She couldn't go back there. Couldn't stay
there anymore. She felt completely lost.

"You want to tell me what happened?"

Slowly, Elizabeth let the words trickle out. The tears flowed with
each word spoken, but this time she was able to keep herself under
control. She told Samantha everything. A lifetime of hurts poured
out of her. She talked about the pain of her mother's inability to
bond with her. She talked about the pain of losing her father, the one
family member who loved her absolutely, unconditionally. She
talked about the pain and humiliation of what Eric had done to her
and how it didn't really matter because she knew now that she had
never truly loved him. She was just settling for him because he
wanted her, or at least she thought he had, and she hadn't seen the
possibility of anything better coming along. And she talked about
Noah. About how he made her feel something she'd never felt with
anyone other than her father. Love. She loved him, knew that she
was falling in love with him, but there was no way she could pursue
that love. Not after the disaster with Rebecca. She just couldn't take
that chance with Noah. If he rejected her, too, she wouldn't be able
to take it. As hard as it was, she'd rather have his friendship than
nothing at all. She would just have to find a way to accept what was
and go on. Elizabeth talked for hours and Samantha, like any true
friend, sat there and listened, holding her hand and hugging when

148
needed. By the time Elizabeth's words ran out, they were both
exhausted and ready to sleep.

"You just stay here for now." She told Elizabeth. "We'll figure it
out tomorrow. You don't have to do it alone."

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 Chapter 19

Noah couldn't stop thinking about Elizabeth. He was really

concerned about her. She was distant and distracted and he could
tell that something was wrong, even though she refused to talk
about it. There had been several times when she returned from a trip
to the bathroom and her eyes would be red and puffy, as if she'd
been crying. She'd just brush it off, say allergies were bothering her,
but he could tell she was lying. At first he'd thought she was still
upset by the evening they had kissed, but when he'd tried to confront
her about it, her face had been blank for a second, and he knew it
was something more than that. He wasn't sure if it had anything to
do with him or not, but he was worried either way.

Whatever was bothering her didn't have any affect on her work
though. If anything, she threw herself into her work with fierce
determination. She was also throwing herself into her writing,
although she wasn't sharing any of it with him. He frequently saw
her scribbling in her notebook during classes, almost obsessed with
whatever it was she needed to write. He was at least grateful for

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that. He knew from experience that pain, as unfortunate as it was,
often produced some of a writer's best work. He still couldn't help
wishing she would confide in him instead of the page. He missed
the Elizabeth that had spent the day in Cedarville with him, but as
much as he tried, he couldn't seem to reach that girl anymore. Each
attempt he made was quickly rejected with polite firmness.

It was nearly a week before he was able to maneuver

circumstances to give himself an opportunity to spend some time
alone with her. A well known published writer would be giving a
seminar in the city on Friday afternoon and he had arranged for him,
Elizabeth, and a few students who were interested to attend. He
purposely presented it to Elizabeth as a job requirement because he
knew she wouldn't refuse under those circumstances. He arranged
for the Students to meet him and Elizabeth in the city, which left
Elizabeth to ride alone with him. If she caught on to his motives, she
didn't show it.

After the seminar, the students headed off to their various social
lives and he and Elizabeth were alone again. He suggested they stop
for dinner before heading back to Oak Tree. She tried to refuse, but
he insisted, telling her he was completely starving as a result of
skipping lunch and didn't think he could make the drive back
without eating something. She finally agreed and he drove them to a
little Italian place he'd enjoyed the last time he visited the city. It
had a cozy, family style atmosphere that would allow them some
privacy without being overly romantic, which would make

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Elizabeth uncomfortable. He also remembered that, although the
food was delicious, the service was slow, which meant they'd be
there for a while. He felt a little guilty manipulating the situation
with Elizabeth that way, but he was desperate to get through the
wall she'd built around herself and find out what was going on.

Elizabeth proved to be more stubborn than he thought. She

willingly discussed the restaurant menu, the seminar, the students
and various other subjects, but any attempt to discuss her personal
life was politely rebuffed and redirected into more neutral territory.
By the time their meal arrived, Noah was beginning to get
frustrated. They ate their meal mostly in silence, Noah studying
Elizabeth and Elizabeth pretending intense interest in everything
but Noah. When they finished their meal, Noah purposely ordered a
dessert he didn't want, just to keep them there a little longer. At that
point, it finally dawned on Elizabeth what Noah was doing and she
became angry.

"We really need to be heading back, Noah! I'm pretty sure you
can survive the trip home without dessert!"

"Maybe so," he challenged. "But I can't stand another minute of

this silence between the two of us. I know something's wrong. Why
won't you tell me?"

"Because it has nothing to do with you and it isn't any of your

business!"

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 "I miss you, Elizabeth. Your body is physically there every day
but YOU aren't there anymore. I miss the woman I spent the day in
Cedarville with. I miss the woman that was so easy to talk to. I miss
our friendship. What happened to that?"

"I've just got too much on my mind right now, Noah."

"So, tell me about it. Talk to me. Trust me, Elizabeth. I care about
what is going on in your life. I care about YOU!"

He could see the tears welling up in her eyes, see her desperately
trying to fight them off. He reached out to touch her hand but she
jerked it violently away.

"Don't do this!" She snapped at him.

"Don't do what?"

"Please, Noah, let's just go. I'll wait for you in the car." Without
saying another word she pushed away from the table and fled.

It seemed to take forever for the waiter to cancel the dessert order
and return with the check. By the time he got out to the car,
Elizabeth had regained her composure and returned to the distant,
cold person he'd been dealing with all week. When he got in the car,
she purposely turned her back to him and stared out the passenger

153
window. He thought about reaching over to touch her, to force her
to face him and tell him what was going on. He even reached his
hand towards her. But something held him back. He didn't want to
force the answers from her. He wanted her to WANT to confide in
him and it broke his heart that she wouldn't. As Noah sat there
looking at her, it was all he could do not to cry himself. Finally, he
started the car and headed back to Oak Tree. Once they were on the
road, she seemed to relax, content that he'd given up his
interrogation.

Noah, on the other had, became more tense and upset the closer
they came to Oak Tree. He knew once they were back home, he
wouldn't have another chance to get Elizabeth to open up to him and
he doubted she'd fall for another trip like this one. She was on her
guard now, even more than before. His mind was so focused on
what to do about Elizabeth, he didn't see the deer in the road until it
was too late. He swerved hard but clipped the deer anyway, which
sent the car careening off the roadway. The car slammed into the
tree with a sickening thud. Noah felt a jolt of agony slice through his
right leg, heard Elizabeth scream, and then everything went black.

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 Chapter 20

Elizabeth sat there, stunned, as silence engulfed the car. The only
sound she could hear was her own ragged breathing. Even the usual
night sounds seemed to have paused in shock. Slowly, cautiously,
the night resumed it's song and the sound of crickets chirping
nearby brought Elizabeth back to her senses. She mentally checked
herself for pain and sighed with relief. She wasn't hurt. She turned
to look at Noah. He lay against the door, head slumped forward
against his chest. He was unconscious, his face a ghostly white from
the moonlight that shone through his window. For an instant, she
thought he was dead, until she saw his chest rise, just a little. Thank
God, he's breathing. She reached over and touched his arm.

"Noah?"

When he didn't respond, she nudged a little harder, jiggling his

arm.

"Noah, please wake up."

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 Nothing. Just the slight rise and fall of his chest, the sound of her
own breathing, and the crickets. It could be hours before anyone
happened along this road and found them. She had to find Noah's
cell phone and call for help. He'd put it on the dash like he always
did when he got in the car, but it wasn't there now. It could be
anywhere. She unbuckled her seat belt and started checking the
floor around her. Nothing. She checked around Noah's feet,
bumping his legs, and jumped when Noah moaned softly.

"Noah?" But he didn't respond and the phone wasn't around his
feet either. She tried to check under the seats but there wasn't
enough room for her to reach without banging her head on the dash.
She would have to get out of the car. She opened her door and
carefully stepped out into the overgrown grass. It was damp and
cold. She squatted down and slid her hand under the seat on her side
of the car. Nothing. She spread out across the front seat, on her
belly, legs out the door, and reached under Noah's seat. Still
nothing. The impact must have thrown it into the back seat
somewhere. She sat up and looked into the back seat but it was
nowhere in sight. Part of her was starting to panic now, but she
fought it off. Not now, she told herself. I have to be calm and find
that phone. Noah needs me. He could be dying.

She got out of the car once more and opened the door to the back
seat. She checked the floors, seat crevices, and the back window.
Nothing. Where is it? Her inner voice was screaming now. The

156
panic was getting harder to fight off. She was crawling backwards,
out of the car, when her foot caught in the side door pocket. She
pulled her foot clear, and realized all the doors had side pockets. She
checked the one her foot just came out of. Nothing. She reached
across and checked the pocket on the other side. Nothing. She
moved back to the front and checked the pocket on her side. Still
nothing. One pocket left. She crawled across the front seat and
reached across Noah's body and checked the pocket. Please, God,
let it be there! It wasn't. If it had flown out of the car somehow, she'd
never find it.

She pulled her hand out of the pocket and set it on the edge of the
seat as she maneuvered herself to crawl back out of the car. Her
fingers brushed against something, wedged between the seat and the
door. She reached down and pulled it free. Noah's cell phone. Thank
you, God!

She hastily dialed 911 and spent the longest fifteen minutes of her
life talking to a stranger and waiting for help to arrive.

As soon as the flashing lights and sirens arrived, time accelerated

rapidly and the next hour flew by. She vaguely remembered being
led to an ambulance where a paramedic insisted upon examining her
in spite of her protests. She was more interested in seeing what was
happening with Noah, but her vision was blocked by the emergency
crews swarming around the vehicle. All she could see were
occasional glimpses of him as they maneuvered his limp body out

157
of the car and onto a stretcher. By the time they moved him to the
ambulance, she had been transferred to sit in the front seat and all
she could do was look back and watch him lying there as they
traveled to the hospital. At the hospital, Noah was whisked away
and quickly lost in a maze of corridors and Elizabeth was sent to the
lobby to wait.

Exhausted from worry, she eventually dozed off in the chair and
slept until she was awakened by the sound of Rebecca's voice.

"Oh my God, Elizabeth, are you ok? Where's Noah?"

Elizabeth sat up, dazed, and looked around. It took her a minute to
remember where she was and what had happened. She looked at
Rebecca and frowned.

"What are you doing here?"

"The hospital called and told me you and Noah were here. I got
here as soon as I could."

"The hospital called you?"

"Yes! You gave them my name as your emergency contact."

Elizabeth frowned again. She didn't remember doing that.

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 "C'mon. Let's get you home. You look exhausted."

Elizabeth pushed Rebecca's hands away. "No. I'm not leaving

until I find out if Noah is ok."

Rebecca sighed. "Ok. Let me go talk to the nurse." She returned a

few minutes later. "They wouldn't release any information."

"I'm staying here." Elizabeth said. "I'm not leaving Noah."

For once, Rebecca didn't argue. She took the seat next to
Elizabeth and the two of them sat and waited in silence. Several
hours passed before a doctor finally approached them.

"Is one of you Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth identified herself and the doctor smiled at her.

"Noah is awake and doing well. He's asking for you. If you'll
come with me, I can take you to see him."

Elizabeth followed the doctor, who led her through the maze of
halls and finally into a small room. Noah was sitting on the bed and
broke into a wide grin as soon as he saw Elizabeth.

"Thank God you're ok!" They both said in unison.

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 Elizabeth rushed to the edge of the bed and looked Noah over. His
right leg was in a cast from the knee down and he had some nasty
looking bumps and bruises on his head, but otherwise he appeared
to be ok. She turned to the doctor to confirm the diagnosis.

"Yes, he'll be just fine. He has a mild concussion and we'd like to
keep him here over night for observation, standard precaution, but
he insists on going home. He'll need someone to stay with him for
the next 48 hours, at least, just to keep an eye on him and make sure
he doesn't have any dizzy spells or anything like that, especially
while walking on those crutches. But otherwise, he'll be fine. He's
got a hard head."

"Don't worry, doctor. I'll stay with him and make sure he follows
doctor's orders."

Thirty minutes later, they returned to the lobby. Elizabeth held

Noah's crutches while the nurse pushed him in the wheel chair, to
his chagrin. Rebecca saw them coming and met them at the door.
They loaded Noah into the back seat where he could stretch out and
prop his leg up and then made the quick trip to Noah's house as he
gave cheerful directions from the back seat. When they arrived,
Elizabeth helped Noah out of the back seat and told Rebecca she'd
be right back. She knew Rebecca was assuming Elizabeth would go
home with her and she didn't want to tell her differently in front of
Noah. She helped Noah inside and settled him on the sofa then
returned to the car. Instead of getting in, she walked around to the

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driver's side and Rebecca rolled down he window.

"What are you doing? It's late. Let's go home."

"I'm staying here to take care of Noah."

"Elizabeth, don't start with your nonsense."

"Rebecca, don't start with yours! I'm not in the mood to hear any
objections from you. The doctor said that Noah can NOT be alone
for the next 48 hours and I'm going to stay here and take care of him
whether you like it or not."

"Elizabeth..."

"Go HOME, Rebecca. Go home."

Elizabeth walked away from the car and went back inside.

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 Chapter 21

When Elizabeth went back inside, she found that Noah had dozed
off sitting up on the sofa, his head tilted back and his mouth hanging
open. She couldn't help but giggle at the sight. Noah immediately
opened his eyes and looked at her.

"What's so funny?" he said, with mock seriousness.

Elizabeth giggled again. "You were sleeping with your mouth

hanging open."

Noah laughed. "Better to catch flies with, my dear." he said in his

best imitation of a cartoon voice.

Elizabeth laughed again and wondered what kind of pain

medication they'd given him at the hospital. He sure was loopy.

"Ok, goofy." She said, still giggling. "Let's get you upstairs and
into bed before you completely pass out on me."

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 "mmmmm, I like the sound of that."

She just shook her head and helped him to his feet. They wobbled
slowly across the room and up the stairs. When they finally reached
the bed, Noah turned around and flopped down on the bed. As he
did so, he grabbed Elizabeth around the waist and pulled her down
on top of him.

"Noah!" She scolded and stumbled to her feet. Noah sat back up
and grinned.

She removed the shoe and sock from his uncasted foot and then
helped him get his dirty shirt off. With each article of clothing that
came off, Noah's grin got bigger. When only the pants were left,
Elizabeth paused, trying to think of a way to change his filthy pants
discretely. She looked around and spotted his robe hanging on the
open closet door. She fetched it quickly and made him put it on,
ensuring that it was properly closed. She then reached under the
robe and carefully unzipped and removed his pants.

"Smarty pants." He said, pretending to sulk. Elizabeth laughed.

"Do you sleep in your shorts or do you have PJs somewhere?"

Noah grinned again and tried to wiggle his eyebrows

suggestively. Elizabeth burst out laughing and pushed him down on

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the bed.

"Knock it off, Romeo, before I knock you on the head and turn
that minor concussion into a major one."

Elizabeth left his robe on and pulled the blanket up over him. She
turned to leave the room, but Noah called her back and patted the
edge of the bed, asking her to sit. When she sat, he laid there just
looking at her for several minutes, his face serious.

"I'm so glad you're ok." He finally said. "When I woke up in that

hospital room, I didn't know where you were or what had happened
to you. All I could remember was hearing you scream before I
blacked out. It would have killed me if anything had happened to
you, Elizabeth." Noah reached up and stroked her hair and then her
cheek. "You mean so much to me. I want you to know that."

Elizabeth took the hand that stroked her cheek and held onto it for
several minutes. She'd been so devastated, herself, when she
thought he might die. She didn't have the heart or the will to
maintain the act she'd been trying to carry off for the past week. She
cared about him too much. She couldn't deny it. She continued to
hold his hand and he slowly drifted off to sleep. When he was
almost out, she slowly leaned over and kissed him, first on the
forehead and then gently on the lips.

"You mean the world to me, too, Noah." She whispered.

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 She quietly left the room and switched off the light. Back
downstairs, she stretched out on the sofa and stared at the ceiling,
thinking about all the twists and turns in her life. There were so
many things she was still unsure of, but one thing she knew for sure.
She was falling in love with Noah and she didn't want to fight it
anymore. After tonight, she believed that Noah was falling for her,
too. It didn't matter what other people would think. She had a right
to be happy and Noah made her happy. As soon as he was up to it,
she was going to tell him the truth, about Eric, about the baby,
everything and what ever happened, happened. She had to take a
chance. She just couldn't live another lie. She'd done that for too
long with Eric. She would NOT do that with Noah.

She was about to drift off to sleep when a knock at the door woke
her. She hurried to the door, afraid that whoever was there might
ring the doorbell and wake Noah. She was surprised to find Rebecca
standing at the door with another woman.

"Rebecca, what are you doing here? Who is this?"

"This is Alicia. She's a nurse who used to work at the University a

few years ago. I called her to come take care of Noah so you can
come home and get some rest. It's ridiculous for you to be here
taking care of Noah in your condition."

"Rebecca--"

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 "Don't argue with me, Elizabeth. I'm doing what's best for you.
You're obviously shaken up from the accident and not thinking
straight."

"I don't think Noah will be comfortable waking up to a stranger in

his house."

"Oh, don't worry honey." Interrupted Alicia. "I'm no stranger to

Noah. We were quite involved a few years ago. I've seen more of
him than you can possibly imagine."

Elizabeth glared at Rebecca. She was being out maneuvered and

she didn't like it.

"C'mon, Elizabeth, let's go." Rebecca grabbed her arm and pulled
her out the door. Elizabeth had no choice but to go with her. Making
a scene would only wake Noah and he needed his rest. As she
stomped down the sidewalk to Rebecca's car, she vowed to return
first thing in the morning and insist on remaining to take care of
Noah.

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 Chapter 22

Sometime during the night, Noah woke up, his leg aching and his
mouth dry. He tried to get up but found that his head ached, too, and
he was too tired and too sore to move. He laid there, trying to fall
back to sleep but the pain in his leg was too much. He needed
another dose of pain medication. He hated to wake Elizabeth, knew
how tired she must be, but he didn't have any other choice. He called
out her name. He waited several minutes for her to respond. When
he got no answer, he called for her again. This time he heard a voice
answer.

"Coming Noah!"

He frowned when he heard it. That didn't sound like Elizabeth. He

could hear her footsteps on the stairs and waited patiently for her to
reach the top. Maybe he was just groggy and hadn't heard her voice
right. When the figure reached the top of the stairs, he knew it
wasn't Elizabeth. He couldn't see who it was in the dark, but,
whoever she was, she was too tall to be Elizabeth. She stepped into

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the room and flipped on the light. The sudden brightness sent
daggers stabbing into his already aching head and the immediately
threw his hands over his face to block out the light, grunting in pain.

"Oh, I'm sorry sweetheart. I forgot about your head."

She switched the light off again and he put down his hands,
squinting at the bright white spots that seemed to be dancing across
his eyeballs. His eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness again and he
watched as the shadow of a woman walked across the hall and
turned on the bathroom light. When she stepped back into the hall,
the light from the bathroom fell across her face and he gasped in
surprise.

Alicia! What was SHE doing here?

She walked back to his bedroom and seated herself on the edge of
his bed, looking seductively down at him. "What can I do for you,
sweetheart?"

"What are you doing here? Where is Elizabeth?"

"Don't worry about her. She went home to rest. Is your leg
bothering you?"

Alicia ran her fingers up his uninjured leg, deliberately teasing.

When she reached his thigh, he pushed her hand away.

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 "Stop it, Alicia! What are you doing here?"

Noah was furious. He had broken up with Alicia nearly three

years ago and she had hounded him for months afterwards. She
refused to accept that he wasn't in love with her and would never be
in love with her. Only after threatening to file charges of sexual
harassment with the university and stalking charges with the local
authorities did she finally leave him alone. Shortly afterwards, she
had quit her job at the university and disappeared from his life. Now
she was here again and he could tell by the look in her eyes that she
hadn't forgotten how their relationship ended.

Noah struggled to pull himself into a sitting position in spite of

the bolts of pain that shot through his head and leg. As the blanket
slipped down, he realized that both his robe and shorts had been
removed. He was naked beneath the blanket. He yanked the blanket
back up and shot a glance at Alicia. She just smirked at him.

"Don't be shy, babe. I've seen it before."

"I need my pain pills and some water and then I want you to get
out of here."

"Grouchy, grouchy. Poor baby. You must really be hurting. Give

me a minute and I'll come back and make it all better."

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 Noah watched as she sauntered out of the bedroom and back to
the bathroom. A few minutes later, she returned holding a glass of
water and his bottle of pain pills. He took the pills and the glass of
water from her. He set the water on his nightstand and removed two
of the pills from the bottle. He swallowed both at once and chased
them down with a gulp of water. Alicia continued to stand there,
watching him.

Noah laid back down and pulled the blankets up around himself.

"I want you to leave now, Alicia. I don't know who told you to
come here but I don't want you here."

She leaned over him and brushed her fingers through his hair,
ignoring his attempts to pull his head away. She leaned down as if to
kiss him and he turned his head away. Instead, she whispered in his
ear.

"I'll be here if you need me, sweetheart. Just whisper my name."

She kissed his ear and he pushed her away. She just laughed as she
left the room.

"I want you to leave, Alicia!" He yelled after her.

"Sorry, darling." She called back. "I have to stay. Doctor's

orders."

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 Noah lay on the bed wondering what had happened while he
slept. Where did Elizabeth go and how did Alicia get here? Before
long, the pain pills did their magic and he felt himself getting
groggy. Before drifting back to sleep, Noah vowed to call Elizabeth
first thing in the morning and get Alicia out of his house.

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 Chapter 23

Elizabeth slept fitfully during the night and woke long before the
sun came up. Unable to go back to sleep, she lay on the bed, staring
at the moonlight outside her window, thinking about Noah. It was
driving her crazy that that woman was there with him and she was
furious with Rebecca for interfering in her life once again. She'd
refused to speak to Rebecca on the ride back to the house and had
gone straight to her room and slammed the door. Now she lay there
waiting for the sun to come up, so she could return to Noah and take
back her rightful place by his side. Rebecca was not going to win
this time.

As soon as the sky turned from black to pale gray, Elizabeth got
up and got dressed, careful to be as quiet as possible. She gathered a
few days worth of clothing and tucked them into a small bundle.
Her suitcase and other belongings were still at Samantha's, where
she'd been staying for the past week. She'd have to call Samantha
later and have her bring some stuff over to Noah's. Downstairs, she
stuffed the bundle into a small plastic bag and left the house. She

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didn't bother to leave a note. Rebecca would know where she went
and she didn't care.

The air outside was chilly and just a tiny bit damp and Elizabeth
shivered a little as she walked. Noah lived on the other side of the
University campus. Close enough to walk but it was a long walk. By
the time she got there, she was chilled to the bone. She still had
Noah's keys from the night before, so she let herself in. The house
was quiet, no sign of anyone downstairs. She hoped it meant the
other woman had left, even though she knew Noah shouldn't be left
alone, but dreaded the possibility that she was actually up there with
him. She crept to the bottom of the stairs and listened. No sound.
She sighed with relief. Maybe the woman was just sleeping in the
spare room. She had to admit, as much as she hated the idea, it was
the smart thing to do, staying close enough to hear Noah if he called
for her during the night. She set her bag down next to the staircase
and headed up.

When she neared the top of the stairs, she heard movement in the
bedroom. A little voice in her head told her she should stop, but she
couldn't do that. She had to see Noah, so she kept going. At the top,
she walked the few steps to Noah's open door and looked in. She
stood, frozen to the floor, her heart shattering to pieces as she
watched the two of them. Noah was lying on his back, the blanket
pulled just above the waist. He was no longer wearing the robe she'd
put on him the night before, his chest bare and inviting. The woman
was lying on her side next to him, facing him so that the front of her

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body was pressed seductively against his. She was wearing a thin
pink teddy with white lace trim that was certainly not designed to
cover anything. She was leaning over him, looking down into his
eyes and running her fingers through his hair and he was looking up
at her. She'd clearly caught them in the midst of an intimate
moment. An involuntary sob wrenched itself from Elizabeth's
throat, just loud enough for the two of them to hear. Both pairs of
eyes snapped instantly to hers. Noah looked horrified, but the
woman looked triumphant, a slow grin spreading across her face.
The hand that had been caressing his hair, now placed possessively
on his bare chest.

"I'm sorry." She blurted and bolted down the stairs. She could
hear Noah calling after her, pleading for her to come back, but she
couldn't bear to face the two of them again. She grabbed her bag off
the floor and fled the house, running as fast as she could. She kept
running until the tears flooded her eyes and she could no longer see
where she was going. A small bump in the sidewalk sent her
sprawling face down, skinning her knees, elbows, and a small spot
on her chin. She didn't even feel the pain. The only pain she felt was
the pain in her heart that was threatening to destroy her whole
world. Why, Lord, why? Why let me love him and then take him
away?

She sat there on the sidewalk, sobbing, until people started

approaching her, concerned that she was hurt. Unwilling to share
her pain, she scrambled to her feet and started walking again,

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waving away their concern. She walked for hours, around and
around the university, avoiding contact with anyone. Eventually,
exhausted, she wound up at Samantha's apartment. She let herself in
and, since Samantha was not there, she flopped down on the futon
and cried herself to sleep.

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 Chapter 24

Elizabeth, exhausted from a sleepless night and the stress of the

last twenty four hours, slept like the dead until someone pounding
on the apartment door jerked her awake. She sat up, still groggy,
and looked around. It took her a minute to remember where she was.
The pounding started over again and she got up and walked to the
door. She peered through the blinds on one side of the door and saw
Rebecca standing there. She raised her hand, about to pound on the
door again when she spotted Elizabeth peeking through the blind.

"Oh, thank God. I've been worried sick about you!"

"Go away, Rebecca." Elizabeth walked back to the futon and sat
down.

Rebecca started pounding on the door again. "Open the door,

Elizabeth!"

Elizabeth didn't want to open the door, didn't want to deal with

176
Rebecca at all, but she knew Rebecca wouldn't give up and she
couldn't afford to get Samantha in trouble with her neighbors by
allowing Rebecca to stand out there banging on the door. She
reluctantly got up and opened the door. She returned to the sofa and
lay down facing the back to avoid having to look at Rebecca. She
grabbed one of the pillows and hugged it to her, desperately seeking
comfort that just wouldn't come.

"When I got up this morning and found you gone, I figured you
went to Noah's. I went over there looking for you and he told me
you'd gotten upset with something Alicia had done and stormed out.
No one knew where you went. I stopped by here earlier but you
didn't answer. You've got everybody worried sick. Why did you go
over there in the first place? Can't you see? I'm trying to protect you,
Elizabeth."

"You're trying to protect yourself, Rebecca. Go away."

"Oh Elizabeth. I know you don't think I care about you but I do.
Noah isn't a bad guy but the people who know him know that he's
had a lot of girlfriends in the past and he's never stayed with any of
them. He's handsome and charming, but he's also a heartbreaker and
I don't want to see you get caught up in that. You've got a baby to
think of, Elizabeth. I just don't want you to set your heart on a man
who's not going to stick around for you or this baby."

Elizabeth just buried her face in the pillow. The tears were

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starting to fall and she didn't want Rebecca to see her cry.

She heard Rebecca walk to the door and open it. "Noah asked me
to tell you to call him. He needs to talk to you about making
arrangements for his classes until he's well enough to return. I know
you're hurting right now, but you still need to do your job,
Elizabeth."

Elizabeth still didn't answer. Rebecca finally gave up and left,

closing the door softly behind her.

As soon as she was gone, Elizabeth stopped trying to control the

tears and let herself sob until the tears ran dry. She tried to convince
herself she was angry at Rebecca, angry at Noah, even angry at
Alicia, but the truth was she was angry at herself. Why did she keep
doing this? Always making a mess of her life? She didn't need
Rebecca to tell her getting involved with Noah was a bad idea. She'd
known it all along but she did it anyway. And, sure enough, Noah
had broken her heart. She let her guard down and, just like Eric,
Noah had used her and thrown her aside as soon as something else
presented itself. Why do men keep doing this to me? What is wrong
with me? Why don't I ever learn?

Elizabeth laid there for a while, hoping to go back to sleep and

escape the pain that was tearing her apart, but sleep wouldn't come,
so she finally sat up and flipped on the TV. Even that couldn't
distract her from the constant train of thoughts barreling through her

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mind. She kept thinking about what Rebecca had said before she
left. Noah wanted to speak to her. Noah had just broken her heart,
devastated her life, and he had the nerve to expect her to go on with
business as usual. How dare he? Well, she wasn't going to call. Not
today, not tomorrow, maybe never. Let him take care of things
himself. Let ALICIA do it for him, she fumed. Elizabeth worked
herself into a fit of righteous outrage. When she was angry, the pain
didn't hurt so much.

Elizabeth paced around the apartment, sometimes crying,

sometimes fuming. After a while, she couldn't bear to look at the
walls anymore. She had to get out of there. She left the apartment
and started walking. She didn't walk in any specific direction, just
wandered. Her only goal to avoid people. She wanted to be alone.
Needed to be alone. Even the thought of talking to Samantha, the
one person she could trust, was too much. The afternoon faded
away and eventually the sun went down. Still she walked. Thoughts
of Noah, Rebecca, and Alicia swirled around and around in her
head. She fed on the anger for a while, using it to protect her heart,
but eventually she had to face the truth.

Noah had not done anything to hurt her, at least not intentionally.
As much as she wanted there to be, there was nothing between her
and Noah. He was her boss and that was all. They'd developed a
nice friendship, and maybe there was a bit of an attraction there, but
they were certainly not involved in any relationship and she knew
that. Had known that all along. Noah was free to be with anyone he

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wanted to be with. Noah wasn't the one keeping secrets. Noah
wasn't the one fooling himself into thinking there was something
between them when there wasn't. She'd read entirely too much into
his drug induced ramblings the night before and she had only
herself to blame for being made a fool of. What right did she have to
let herself into his home like that, much less walk into his bedroom?
He was her boss, for God's sake. Rebecca was right, she had a baby
to think of and she couldn't afford to go around pinning her hopes on
a man she had no chance of getting. She needed to start using her
head. She would not let her emotions get the best of her again. She
would call Noah in the morning and do her job.

It was nearly midnight when she finally returned to Samantha's

apartment. When she walked in the door, both Samantha and
Rebecca pounced on her, Rebecca in anger, Samantha in relief.
They hovered around her, both talking at once. Elizabeth couldn't
understand anything they were saying. She heard one or both of
them saying Noah's name but had no idea what they'd said. Finally,
frustrated, she put her hands over her ears and screamed for them
both to stop. She waited for them to be silent. When they were, she
spoke.

"I can't understand what either of you are saying." She faced
Rebecca. "What are you doing here? I want you to leave me alone."

"You've been gone all day, Elizabeth. Noah has called a dozen
times looking for you. I've been out looking for you. Samantha has

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been worried sick waiting for you to come back. No one knew
where you were or what happened to you. Where the hell have you
been?"

"I needed to be alone for a while."

"You can't just disappear and not say a word to anyone. You
should have at least called to let Samantha know you were ok. She
called me because she was scared half to death when you didn't
come back. What if something had happened to you? We had no
idea even where to start looking."

Elizabeth glanced over at Samantha and could see that she had
been crying. She felt horrible.

"I'm sorry, Samantha. I wasn't thinking."

"It's ok." Samantha replied.

"No, it's not ok." Rebecca jumped in. "You're being selfish,
Elizabeth. Things aren't going your way and you're making
everyone else suffer because YOU are unhappy."

"Go home, Rebecca." There was no force behind Elizabeth's

words. She was too tired, felt too defeated.

"You're coming with me. You've given Samantha enough

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trouble."

She looked at Samantha again. "Do you want me to go?"

Samantha looked at Rebecca and then back at Elizabeth and

shook her head.

"I'm not going, Rebecca. Go home. You've done enough for me. I
need you to leave me alone and let me work things out for myself."

When Rebecca tried to speak, Elizabeth walked to the bathroom

and shut the door. She stayed there until she heard Rebecca leave.
She was just coming out of the bathroom when the phone rang.
Samantha answered, spoke briefly, then held the phone out to
Elizabeth. "It's Noah."

Elizabeth shook her head. She wasn't ready to talk to him. Not
yet. She sat on the futon and listened to Samantha talk to him. By
the time Samantha hung up, Elizabeth had fallen into an exhausted
sleep.

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 Chapter 25

Elizabeth avoided Noah's calls until late the following afternoon.

She needed time to work up the courage to face him and time to
build the inner strength she needed to remain strong and keep her
emotions in check. No matter what he did or what he said, she
would not allow him to break her heart again. From now on, he was
her boss, nothing more, and that would only last until she was able
to find another job and she'd already begun looking for one. Even
their friendship was over. She'd thought long and hard on this and
realized that even that closeness was too much for her. The only
way she could get past her feelings and go on with her life was to
avoid any and all personal contact with him. Her focus now was on
building a life for her and her baby.

She rang the doorbell and waited. Several minutes passed before
Noah opened the door. His face lit up when he saw her. That
charming smile, always spreading slowly from his cheeks to his
eyes, made her heart melt. For a brief moment, she struggled to drag
her eyes away from his face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw

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him reach forward to touch her arm. A small wave of panic washed
over her. She couldn't bear to have him touch her. Not yet. She
darted through the door and into his living room, carefully avoiding
his outreached hand. When she turned to look at him again, he was
awkwardly hobbling backwards on his crutches as he tried to close
the door without losing his balance. It gave her a chance to look at
him.

His hair was unkempt, standing up in odd peaks all over his head,
and his face was unshaven. The dark, heavy shadow of growth on
his face gave him a rugged look, quite different than his usual, clean
shaven professor look. He looked rough and sexy. As soon as the
thought entered her mind, she pushed it away. Don't be thinking like
that, Elizabeth! He was barefoot, wearing nothing but an old t-shirt
and a pair of sweats that clung entirely too close to his body. It was
a good thing his students never saw him like this. They were always
falling in love with him as it was. If they saw him like this, he'd be in
real trouble. In spite of her intentions, she found herself admiring
the form of his body. She couldn't help herself. He truly was a sexy
man. She'd just finished studying the round, firm shape of his
buttocks through the tight sweats when he turned around and caught
her staring. As if aware of where she had been looking, he broke
into a wide grin. Her eyes snapped to his face and then instantly
away to look around the room. Anywhere but at him. As she looked
around, she wondered where Alicia was.

"Please, sit down." Noah said, pointing towards one end of the

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sofa as he hobbled to the other end. She sat, perched on the edge and
waited for him to settle into his place on the sofa, foot propped up
on the coffee table.

"I'm glad you finally came. I was worried that I was never going
to see you again."

"Well, Samantha said you needed to discuss what to do with your

classes until you can return and, regardless of everything else, I'm
still going to do my job."

"Elizabeth, about yesterday morning ... It's not what you think."

Elizabeth threw her hand up in a stop gesture. "No need to explain

Noah. What you do in your home is your business."

"You don't understand. NOTHING was happening. I woke up to

find you were gone and SHE was there. I have no idea how it
happened and I don't care. She tried to take advantage of the
situation and that's what you walked in on. I kicked her out right
after you left."

"It doesn't matter. I never should have entered your home like that
and I certainly should not have come upstairs. I apologize for that. It
won't happen again. From now on, our relationship will remain
strictly professional."

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 "That's not what I want, Elizabeth. I care about you and I think
you know that."

"Noah, please don't start this again."

Noah lifted his foot down off the coffee table and scooted across
the sofa towards her. She tried to get up and move away from him
but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back onto the sofa.

"Let go of me, Noah."

"No, Not until you hear me out."

She sat there, silent, body rigid as stone, faced turned away from
him. She could feel the heat of his body next to hers, his knee
brushing against the outside of her thigh as he twisted his body to
face her. When she still would not look at him, he reached out and
brushed his hand beneath her chin and tilted her face towards his.
She fought hard not to look at him. She knew if she did, she'd be
lost. It was killing her to have him so close to her. Every fiber of her
being wanted to reach out and touch him. She wanted him to kiss
her, to take her in his arms and hold her forever. Her heart ached for
it. When he refused to let go of her chin, she closed her eyes to avoid
seeing him. She sat there, eyes closed, and waited for the sound of
his voice.

"Look at me, Elizabeth." She shook her head. She was losing her

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grip on her emotions, could feel the tears beginning to form. She
could feel her lower lip tremble and fought to control it. She didn't
want Noah to see her this way. She'd wanted to come here, strong
and tough. Instead, she was sitting here, avoiding his gaze and
desperately fighting off tears. Why was he doing this to her? Didn't
he realize how much he was hurting her? A single tear slipped out
and slowly rolled down her cheek. The hand on her chin traveled
upward and gently wiped away the tear before returning to it's hold
on her chin. It was too much for her and more tears started to fall.

"Please don't cry, Elizabeth. Don't you understand? I care about

you. I want to be with you. No one else. You matter to me more than
any woman I've ever known."

Elizabeth opened her eyes then and looked at him. She looked
into his eyes and what she saw there made her heart sing. He really
did care about her. Her tears fell faster now but this time, they were
tears of joy.

"Oh Noah! There's so much you don't know about me. So many
things that I'm afraid to tell you."

Noah continued to stroke her cheeks, wiping away the tears as

they fell. "Whatever it is, you can tell me, Elizabeth. We can deal
with it together. I'm not going to go anywhere. I promise."

"I can't. Not yet."

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 "Then tell me when you're ready. I'll be here for you."

He pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried. When the
tears finally stopped, he again took her face in his hands. He sat
there, looking at her as if he was trying to memorize every detail of
her face. She was studying his face as well. Taking in every detail of
this face that she loved so much. When he finally kissed her, his lips
brushing hers ever so softly, pressing more firmly with each touch,
she nearly burst into tears again. She felt Noah's arms go around
her, pulling her closer to him. Her own arms were wrapped firmly
around his shoulders, her fingers stroking the hair at the nape of his
neck. Her whole body felt like it was on fire. She wanted Noah more
than she'd ever wanted any man in her life. When he lifted his lips
from hers, she whimpered softly and tilted her head back. He
responded by lowering his head and leaving a trail of kisses along
her jaw line and down her neck. Slowly, he traced his way back up
to her lips and then kissed her again. When he finally stopped, he
leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes closed, and groaned.

"What is it, Noah?" She asked, softly stroking his hair.

"I want you so much." He said. He opened his eyes and stared into
hers, so close to his own. "I don't want to rush things though. Things
are different with you and I want to do this right."

"We will, Noah. We will." She said.

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 They spent the rest of the day, sitting together on the sofa,
watching TV, talking, and laughing. Just enjoying each other's
company. When it finally started to get dark, Noah suggested she
call Samantha to come and pick her up. "I don't want you walking
home in the dark."

"You shouldn't be here alone, Noah. What about your

concussion?"

"It's been forty eight hours already, Elizabeth. Besides, I was here
last night by myself and I did just fine." He saw the disappointment
forming on her face. "Don't worry, sweetheart. Things will happen
when they are meant to. I want us to do things right and I don't think
it would be right for you to stay here with me. Too much temptation
and all that."

He grinned his goofy grin and she couldn't help but laugh. "Ok,
ok. I'll go."

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 Chapter 26

When Samantha arrived to pick her up, Elizabeth kissed Noah

good night and insisted that he not get up and walk her to the door.
She let herself out and hurried to the car. She didn't say anything as
Samantha pulled away from the curb, but she couldn't quit smiling.
She was just so happy. Samantha kept glancing over at her, waiting
for her to say something, getting more impatient with every minute.

"Elizabeth! Stop grinning like that and tell me what happened!

You're driving me crazy here!"

Elizabeth laughed. She'd been waiting for Samantha to ask.

"Oh Samantha! Noah really does love me! He said he wants to be

with me and nobody else."

"Really? He doesn't care about the baby?"

Elizabeth's smile faded just a little bit. "Well, I didn't tell him

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about the baby yet, but I'm going to tell him soon. I just need to find
the right time and the right way to tell him. You should have seen
the way he looked at me, Samantha. I just know everything will be
ok."

"I really hope so, Elizabeth. It's good to see you happy like this.
Just make sure you tell him soon. The longer you wait, the more
upset he'll be when he finds out."

"I know. I'm going to tell him this week, I promise. I've just got to
think of the right way to tell him."

"Take him out for a romantic dinner. Just the two of you. Make
sure you flirt with him all evening and when you're sure he's totally
into you, tell him you have something really important to talk to him
about and then just tell him. If he really loves you, he won't care. It
might even make him love you more. That whole protective male
kind of thing, you know?"

"God, I hope so, Samantha. I love him so much. I'll just die if he
changes his mind about me."

The next several days went by in a blur. Elizabeth tried several

times to find time alone with Noah but something always seemed to
interfere. Word had spread about his accident and people were
constantly dropping by his apartment to see how he was, offering
help in a dozen different ways. Some of the local women had

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decided to take care of him by fixing meals and cleaning his
apartment and it seemed like there was always someone there, no
matter what time Elizabeth dropped by. At the University, it was
even worse. It was all they could do just managing to handle his
class work. Student after student came to see him at his office or
hung around after class. Elizabeth was beginning to wonder if she'd
ever have the time to tell him. Even worse, Rebecca was taking full
advantage of the situation to monitor the relationship between she
and Noah. She'd started showing up at his office every day,
supposedly to see how Noah was doing and to see if either of them
needed anything, but Elizabeth could see that she was actually
watching them. Elizabeth could also see that her attempts to hide the
budding relationship between them from Rebecca wasn't working.
More than once, Elizabeth had been watching Noah only to look up
and find Rebecca watching her, a stern frown on her face. She
refused to allow Rebecca to ruin her happiness, though, and
purposely avoided giving Rebecca a moment alone to voice her
concerns.

In spite of the hectic schedule and no time alone with each other,
the relationship between she and Noah continued to blossom. They
shared smiles and stolen kisses whenever a spare minute could be
found and ended their days with late night phone calls, the only time
when either of them could be alone in their separate places. Several
times Elizabeth had considered telling Noah her secret during one
of those phone calls, but she always chickened out. She was too
afraid that he might hang up and never give her the chance to

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explain. At least in person, it would be harder for him to walk away
without hearing her out. When she told him her secret, she wanted
to be there, so he could look into her eyes and know the truth. To
know that she really did love him and wasn't using him for the baby.
She just hoped that time would come soon. The longer it took to tell
him, the more scared she felt about doing it. She was also starting to
show, not enough for anyone to notice beneath her clothes, but
enough for it to be felt if she were touched just the right way and she
worried that Noah would do just that. She couldn't afford to let him
find out that way.

By the end of the week, Elizabeth was both happy and frazzled. In
a distracted moment, Rebecca finally found the opportunity to pull
Elizabeth off to the side for a private moment. Elizabeth held her
breath, waiting for the lecture she knew was coming. Instead,
Rebecca shocked her by inviting her to dinner that evening. She
thought about refusing, but Rebecca seemed sincere and she
decided to give it a chance. Maybe there was hope for their
relationship after all.

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 Chapter 27

Noah picked his outfit carefully. He wanted to look nice,

impressive, but not too impressive. He didn't want to give the
impression that he was overly concerned with Rebecca's opinion of
him but at the same time, he wanted to prove himself worthy of her
respect. He'd been surprised when she pulled him aside and invited
him to dinner earlier that day. He'd been even more surprised when
she mentioned that she had a surprise for him and Elizabeth and
asked him not to mention anything to her about it. He strongly
suspected that Rebecca was up to something, but he wasn't sure
what it might be. He didn't fully understand the dynamics of
Elizabeth's relationship with her sister, but he knew they didn't get
along very well and that Elizabeth had been staying with her friend
Samantha in recent weeks. He also knew there were things that
Elizabeth still hadn't told him, she'd said as much herself, and he
wondered if this dinner might answer some of those questions.

When Elizabeth had told him she was going to have dinner at her
sister's that evening, she'd seemed so apprehensive, almost worried.

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It had been hard for him not to reassure her by telling her that he'd
be there. Ever since the accident, he'd felt so protective of her. He
hated to see her worried about anything.

It seemed to take forever to get himself dressed. But forty five

minutes and a few curses later, he stood before the mirror and
checked his reflection. He'd chosen an older pair of charcoal gray
dress pants that he hadn't worn in years. They were a little big on
him, but his choices had been limited by what would fit over the cast
on his foot and sweat pants just wouldn't cut it tonight. At least the
black leather belt looked nice and would prevent any possibility of
his pants falling down during dinner. To go with the pants, he'd
chosen a dark black dress shirt and a matching black sweater. He'd
thought about wearing a tie, but changed his mind. Too formal.
Without the tie, he looked casual but elegant, as long as you didn't
notice the large white cast sticking out from underneath the right
pant leg. He'd tried to put a black sock over it, hoping to make it
stand out a little less, but none of the black socks he had would
stretch wide enough to fit. He'd had no choice but to cover it with
another tube sock. Going barefoot was not an option, too casual and
his foot would freeze this late in the year. At least the other foot was
elegantly clad in a neat black sock and matching black leather shoe.

Satisfied that he looked as good as he could under the

circumstances, he left the house and made his way downstairs to
wait for Rebecca's husband to pick him up. He'd been grateful that
Rebecca had made that arrangement up front, knowing he was

195
unable to drive. When she'd invited him to dinner, his first thought
had been concern about how he would get there. Catching a cab
wasn't exactly a possibility in a small town like this and riding the
bus wasn't a comfortable option either. But, Rebecca had told him
that transportation was already arranged, so he was able to accept
the dinner invitation with dignity. He barely had time to sit on the
sofa when the doorbell rang. He and Bob made quick introductions
at the door and then headed to Bob's car. The ride back to Rebecca's
was short, barely leaving time for even polite small talk.

When they arrived, Bob retrieved Noah's crutches from the back
seat while he got out of the car, then hurried to the front porch to get
the door for Noah, who hobbled behind him as quickly as he could.
It was a cold night and his foot was already feeling the chill in spite
of the sock that covered it. He was going to have to come up with
some other idea for keeping his foot warm if he was going to make
it through the next month without getting frostbite. He stepped
through the front door and followed the voices of Rebecca and
Elizabeth down the hall and into the kitchen. When he reached the
kitchen, Elizabeth's back was too him. Rebecca, however saw him
and immediately looked over to see if Elizabeth had.

"Good evening, Rebecca." He said.

At the sound of his voice, Elizabeth whirled around, dropping the

plate in her hand. Food and broken glass flew everywhere. She
stood there, mouth hanging open. He looked over at Rebecca, who

196
suddenly looked a little unsure of the situation. When Elizabeth saw
Noah look at Rebecca, she immediately turned and looked at
Rebecca herself.

"What is going on here?"

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Rebecca avoided Elizabeth's question, focusing instead on

cleaning up the broken glass and bits of food that littered the floor.
Seeing that she wasn't going to get an answer from Elizabeth, she
turned to Noah. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"Rebecca thought it would be a nice surprise for us all to have

dinner together." He said. He looked at the mess she'd made. "I
guess it worked."

There was a bad feeling in the pit of Elizabeth's stomach. She

knew Rebecca was up to something and that meant nothing but
trouble was headed her way. Unfortunately, until she figured out
what Rebecca had planned, there wasn't much she could do about it
and she certainly didn't want anything to make Noah
uncomfortable. Her issues with Rebecca were not his problem. She
stepped carefully around the broken class and walked over to give
Noah a hug, before pulling a chair out for him at the table.

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 "Here, Noah. Make yourself comfortable. Dinner will be ready in
just a minute."

She went back around the island and knelt behind it to help
Rebecca clean up the mess. Out of Noah's sight range, she glared at
Rebecca until she finally looked over at her. As soon as she did,
Elizabeth shot her a warning look.

"Don't start anything with Noah." She mouthed, silently.

Rebecca immediately looked away and continued cleaning.

When the mess was sufficiently cleared away, they finished
preparing the food and took their seats at the table. There was an
awkward silence as everyone began to eat. Elizabeth kept watching
Rebecca. She just knew something was about to happen. Rebecca
looked nervous and kept glancing down the hallway as if she was
expecting someone to walk in. Noah kept glancing from one to the
other, looking uncomfortable, while Bob tried to make small talk
with him, pretending that the tension between the two sisters wasn't
happening. Elizabeth's fears were confirmed a few minutes later
when the doorbell rang. Rebecca leaped up to answer the door. A
sick sense of dread filled Elizabeth, nearly making her sick, as she
waited to see who the next surprise guest would be. She hoped it
would be Samantha, but the vague sound of a man's voice coming
from the front of the house crushed that hope.

A few minutes later, as Elizabeth heard their footsteps moving

199
towards the kitchen, she grabbed onto the edge of the table as if to
steady herself. In a near panic, she watched the doorway as each
step brought them closer. When Eric stepped through the doorway
and into the kitchen, she nearly choked as an involuntary cry of
distress wrenched it's way out of her body. She didn't even feel
Noah's hand when he reached over and touched her arm, startled by
her response. Her eyes were riveted to Eric, who was looking at her
and smiling.

"Hello, darling." He said.

Her eyes darted to Rebecca's in horror. She was silently

screaming. How could you do this? Rebecca refused to even look at
her, busily rushing to get a chair and set another place at the table.
Eric took his seat next to Elizabeth, sandwiching her between
himself and Noah. When everyone was settled, Rebecca again took
her seat at the table and looked directly at Elizabeth. Her expression
was cold, calculated. She'd achieved her purpose and she knew it.

When no one made an effort to introduce Noah and Eric, Noah

finally did it himself.

"Hi, I'm Noah." He said, reaching across the table to shake hands.
"I'm a friend of Elizabeth's."

"Nice to meet you, Noah." Said Eric. "I'm Eric, Elizabeth's

fiancé."

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 Elizabeth choked again, gagging on her own saliva. Her eyes met
Noah's. He was looking at her in shocked disbelief.

"Fiancé?" Noah's voice was dazed, confused.

Elizabeth tried to say something. To tell him it wasn't true. To

explain everything, but she was still coughing and choking and she
couldn't get the words out. Finally, Eric reached over and clapped
her on the back, setting her voice free.

"That's not true!" She yelled. She stood up, knocking her chair
over in the process, and pushed Eric's hand away from her. "It's not
true, Noah!"

Before she could say anything else, Eric spoke again.

"C'mon now, Elizabeth. I know you're still mad at me but I'm sure
we can work this out."

"There's nothing to talk about, Eric!" She snapped at him.

"You're carrying my kid!" He snapped back. "I think THAT'S

something to talk about. Don't you?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes. She was quickly losing control of the
situation and she could feel her stomach starting to rise. She

201
swallowed hard, trying to get herself and her emotions under
control. She was furious with Rebecca, who sat there saying
nothing. Just letting the situation she had created play out in front of
all of them. She looked over at Noah again. He wasn't looking at her
now. He'd pushed his chair away from the table and he was staring
at his hands, which were balled into fists in his lap.

"Noah, I can explain." She said, softly. She reached her hand
towards him, but froze when his eyes snapped to her face. She'd
never seen him look at her like that. Ever. There was no love in his
eyes now. She saw hurt. She saw intense anger. But there was no
love. In that moment, she could see only his hatred. Her stomach
lurched upwards again, more violently this time, and she couldn't
fight it anymore. She fled to the bathroom and threw up, sobbing
and gagging at the same time. She threw up until there was nothing
left but sobs and then sobbed until the tears ran dry as well. When
she finally returned to the kitchen, Noah was gone.

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Rebecca and Eric sat at the table, chatting easily as if nothing at

all had happened. She approached the table, glaring at them both.

"Eric, please leave. I need to speak with Rebecca." When he

hesitated, she reached between them and slammed her hand on the
table. "NOW!" She yelled.

Rebecca and Eric both jumped and stared at her, shocked at the
force of her anger. Eric left the room. Rebecca started to get up as
well but Elizabeth pushed her back into her chair.

"Elizabeth!"

"Shut up, Rebecca! For once, you're going to sit down, shut up,
and listen!"

Rebecca started to open her mouth again. She quickly shut it

when Elizabeth raised her balled fist to within an inch of Rebecca's

203
face.

"Say one word and I'll punch you right in the mouth. How DARE
you interfere in my life like this. What is WRONG with you? No
matter what you think of my choices, you have NO RIGHT to do
what you did. This is MY life. MINE not YOURS! You have no
right to ruin my happiness. I don't understand you. You're my sister.
Why can't you just love me and support me the way a sister is
supposed to? Why do you go out of your way to hurt me? You've
done that our whole lives. What did I ever do to you to make you
hate me so much? And don't try to tell me you're doing this out of
love. If you loved me, you wouldn't have done this to me. You don't
tear down the people you love."

Her sobs threatened to break lose again. She didn't care. She was
going to speak her peace.

"All I have ever wanted from you was a relationship the way
sisters are supposed to have. Someone I could confide in and lean
on, but that's never going to happen with you, is it? You can't stand
to see anything good happen to me. You would rather destroy me
and my life! I love Noah. But you don't care. You don't care how
much you hurt me or him. All you care about is doing whatever
YOU think is right, no matter who it hurts. Well, congratulations,
Rebecca, you managed to destroy my relationship with Noah. Are
you proud of yourself?"

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 She could see the tears welling up in Rebecca's eyes and knew
that her words were finally getting through, but there was no
stopping her now. She didn't care anymore. She leaned over the
table, her face inches from Rebecca's. She wanted her next words to
hit full force.

"I hope it was worth it to you. You may be blood, but from now
on, you are NOT my sister. As far as I'm concerned, you are no
longer family. I NEVER want to see you again, Rebecca. NEVER. I
HATE YOU!"

With that, she stormed out of the room and didn't look back.

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 Chapter 30

Elizabeth was halfway across the yard when Eric grabbed her arm
and stopped her in her tracks. In her anger at Rebecca, she'd
forgotten he was still there.

"Elizabeth, wait. I want to talk to you."

"Eric, there's nothing left to say and I don't have the energy for
this right now. I just want to get out of here."

"So, let's go somewhere and talk. I drove all the way here. At least
hear me out. Please? If you still feel the same way after that, I'll go
and I won't bother you again."

Elizabeth was too tired to fight. She'd spent all of her energy on
Rebecca. She nodded and allowed him to lead her to his car. He
drove towards town and pulled over when he saw the little coffee
shop, Elizabeth's favorite place.

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 "No, not here." She said. "I don't want to go here." She didn't want
to sit there, with Eric, so many memories of Noah all around her.

"Where then?" He asked.

She directed him to the McDonald's a few blocks away. The

found a table near the back, away from a majority of the crowd. Eric
offered to buy her something to eat, since their dinner had been
interrupted, but she wasn't in the mood for food. To make him feel
better, she gave in and allowed him to buy her some iced tea. He
returned to the table a few minutes later with drinks and some food
for himself. The smell nauseated her and she hoped she wouldn't
throw up again. Her stomach already ached from the violent fit of
vomiting earlier in the evening. Elizabeth had nothing to say, so she
sat quietly, staring out the window and waited for Eric to finish his
food. There was no sense in expecting him to talk and eat at the
same time. He'd never been very good at that and the last thing
Elizabeth needed was to see half chewed food, in or out of his
mouth.

When he'd finished his meal, he got up, threw the wrappers in the
trash, and placed the tray in the tray holder. Satisfied that everything
was in order, he sat down again and cleared his throat.

"The first thing I want to say is I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt
you, Elizabeth. I know you don't believe me but I do love you. I

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always have. That thing with Kat was just a fling. It didn't mean
anything."

Elizabeth looked at him and shook her head. "Do you think that
makes it ok, Eric?"

"No. I know what I did was wrong. I don't blame you for being
angry with me. I've done a lot of thinking since you've been gone. I
don't know why I did what I did. The only thing I do know is that I
love you and I want you to come home and give us another chance.
I would have told you sooner but I didn't know where you went until
your sister called me and told me what was going on."

"She had no right to do that."

"Maybe not, but I'm glad she did."

They sat there for a while, both quiet.

"Were you ever going to tell me about the baby?"

"I don't know." She answered honestly.

"Will you at least think about coming back and giving us another
chance? Try to put everything back to the way it was before all of
this happened?"

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 "Nothing will ever be the same as it was, Eric. That's not possible.
There's a baby to think of now. Even if I came back, nothing would
be the same as it was."

"Well, there's always adoption, you know?"

Elizabeth looked at him in shock. She'd thought a lot about this

baby. What to do about it. How to go about raising it. So many
worries. But the one thought that had never crossed her mind, not
even for a second, was giving the baby up.

"Eric, there are a lot of things I've thought of since I left Chicago,
giving up this baby isn't one of them."

Eric looked at her and frowned. He ran his fingers through his
hair and scratched the back of his head, the tell tale sign that he was
agitated and trying to figure his way out of a mess.

"I love you, Elizabeth, but I'm not ready to be a father. Not yet. I
just can't handle something like that at this point in my life."

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Eric, but I'm not giving up this
baby."

"What are you going to do then? Are you expecting something

from me? Money?"

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 Elizabeth just shook her head. If her life weren't so sad, she'd have
to laugh at what a fool she'd been. How could she have ever
believed she was in love with this man? He was so wrong for her in
every way. As much as it had hurt her when he'd cheated, she was so
glad that it happened and that she caught him before they were
married. She couldn't imagine spending a lifetime with him. She
almost felt sorry for him.

"Go home, Eric. If you need to be forgiven, then fine, I forgive

you, but I'm not coming back. And don't worry, I don't want any
money from you. If you don't want anything to do with this baby,
that's your choice. I'll raise this baby on my own and I'll do just fine.
If there's one thing I've learned from all of this, it's that I'm stronger
than I ever thought I was."

"If you ever change your mind, you know where to find me."

She didn't say anything else. There was nothing else to say. When
he realized the conversation was over, he stood up.

"C'mon. I'll take you home."

"No. I think I'll stay here for a while. You go."

"Elizabeth--"

"Just go, Eric. I'll be fine."

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After Eric was gone, Elizabeth just sat there, not sure what to do
next. Eventually she would have to walk home to Samantha's
apartment, but for now, she just wanted to be alone. She wasn't
ready to talk about what happened and she knew Samantha would
have plenty of questions. Questions she didn't have any answers to.
After all these weeks, her life was back where she started, only now
she had more than herself to worry about. She had no money, no
job, no home. She'd never felt so alone in her life. Even though she
knew Samantha would let her stay there as long as she needed to,
she didn't want to put that kind of burden on her, especially with a
baby coming. She needed to stand on her own two feet for once.
She'd gone straight from her father's home, to Eric's home, from
there to Rebecca's, and now to Samantha's. Besides, now that her
relationship with Noah was gone, she couldn't bear to stay here in
Oak Tree. She'd have to find somewhere else to go. Somewhere
with a better job market.

After a while, the employees started looking at her oddly, so she

211
decided to leave. She walked for a while, but it was cold out and she
was exhausted. She finally headed home to Samantha's place. When
she walked in the door, Samantha was sitting on the sofa watching
TV.

"Where have you been? Are you ok?"

Elizabeth was surprised. How did Samantha know that something

had gone wrong. Had Noah tried to call?

"I'm ok, why?"

"Rebecca was here a little bit ago. She wouldn't tell me what was
wrong but she was a mess. I don't think I've ever seen her cry in my
life. What happened between you two?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "It was a disaster, Samantha. After

what Rebecca did tonight, I can't believe she even had the nerve to
come here. I never want to see her again as long as I live. Has Noah
called at all?"

"No. He hasn't. Does this have something to do with him? What

did she do?"

"Rebecca had quite a few surprises for me tonight. Her little

dinner invitation had two extra guests. One of them was Noah. The
other one was Eric."

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 "Oh my God, she didn't!"

"She sure did. Before I could do anything to stop it, Eric told
Noah he was my fiancé AND blurted out that I'm pregnant to boot.
I'll never forget the look on Noah's face. He HATES me now,
Samantha. I don't think he'll ever talk to me again. I know he'll
never forgive me for this. He was totally blind sided. Rebecca made
a complete fool out of him."

"Oh, Elizabeth, I am so sorry she did that to you. Don't give up on

Noah though. He loves you. You know he does! Just give him some
time to calm down and then go talk to him. If he really loves you,
he'll understand."

"You didn't see the look on his face, Samantha. It wasn't just
anger. It was hatred. I've seen him angry before but I've never seen a
look like that on his face. His fists were all balled up and he looked
completely disgusted with me. That look was so cruel, it literally
made me sick. I had to run to the bathroom and puke. When I came
back out, he was gone."

"Just give him time and then go talk to him."

"I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I can bear it if I go to

him and that look is still there. I can't bear to face him if he hates
me."

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 "You have to give him a chance, Elizabeth. If nothing else, you
owe him an explanation. He has a right to know what was going
on."

Elizabeth knew she was right, but the thought of facing his anger
terrified her. It was going to break her heart to face him and see
hatred in his eyes, where there was once so much love. She had only
herself to blame. She should have told him right away. The very
first day he'd told her how he felt. She'd told him she had a secret
and he was willing to listen. If she had told him then, she wouldn't
be in this place now. Either it would have stopped right there, or he
would have accepted it and they could have gone on and built a life
together. Now there was nothing. Even if she could get him to listen
to her explanation, would he ever believe her? Would he ever trust
her again. So much damage had been done. She didn't even know
where to begin to fix it.

She spent the rest of the evening watching TV with Samantha, but
didn't see much of it. Too many thoughts poured through her mind.
A dozen different conversations with Noah played themselves out,
but she couldn't image a positive ending to any of them. When
Samantha finally went to bed, Elizabeth curled up on the futon and
let the emotions she'd been holding in check all evening, finally
flow free. She cried silent tears until she finally fell asleep,

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The rest of the weekend was spent playing phone dodge, she with
Rebecca and Noah, apparently, with her. Rebecca had called for her
several times, but each time she called, Elizabeth refused to come to
the phone. When she'd told Rebecca that she never wanted to see or
talk to her again, she'd meant it and this time Rebecca was not going
to get her own way. Unfortunately, Noah was dodging Elizabeth's
calls in the same way. She'd tried going over to his house, once, on
Saturday afternoon, but Noah hadn't answered the door, even
though she was sure he was there. She'd spent the rest of the
weekend moping around the apartment, or wandering around town
when she felt Samantha needed a break from her moping. When
Monday morning finally arrived, Elizabeth was up and dressed
before dawn, too anxious to sleep any longer. She didn't know if she
still had a job or not, but she was going to go in anyway and talk to
Noah. Whatever happened after that was out of her hands, but at
least she'd know, which was a lot better than what she was going
through now.

215
 When she arrived at the adjunct building, she paused in the hall
outside of Noah's office and took a deep breath before entering.
Noah was sitting at his desk reading the newspaper. She knew he
knew she was there. She'd seen the quick, darting glance out of the
corner of his eye as she walked in and watched his eyes harden as he
pretended not to notice her. She stood there, watching him. This
man that she loved so much. She could tell the weekend had been
equally hard on him. His eyes were bloodshot, deep shadows
underneath, and he hadn't shaved, probably not since Friday night.
He looked as tired as she felt and she wondered if his nights had
been as sleepless as hers. Several times as she watched him, she saw
his eyes slide to the edges of his paper. Saw him start to look in her
direction and then catch himself, refusing to let it happen. He was
not going to be the first one to make contact. If they were ever going
to speak again, she would have to make the first move.

"Good morning, Noah." She finally said, breaking the silence.

He continued reading for a few seconds before glancing up at her.

His look was cold, irritated, as if she were an annoying fly buzzing
around his head instead of the woman he had professed to care
about just days earlier. "Good morning." He finally said,
immediately returning to his paper. He wasn't going to make this
easy for her.

She turned around and walked back to his office door, hearing his

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paper rustle behind her. She pushed his office door closed, started to
turn around, then turned back and locked the door as well. She
wanted to talk to him without interruption. When she turned around,
she saw him jerk the paper back up in front of his face and realized
he'd been watching her. It made her smile just a little. Like it or not,
she could still get his attention. She moved over to the table and
grabbed one of the lighter chairs and dragged it around Noah's desk
so she could sit directly in front of him, not across the desk from
him in one of the more intimidating leather chairs. Finally, curious
about all the noise she was making, he jerked the paper back down
again and glared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Organizing." She said and smirked at him, trying to lighten his

mood a little. He shook his head and tossed the newspaper on his
desk. He wasn't in the mood to be amused. He grabbed his crutches,
which had been leaning against the wall behind him, and started to
stand up. Elizabeth, reached out and touched his arm. He sat down
again and pulled his arm away from her, as if her touch burned him.

"Noah, I want to talk to you. I know you're angry, but please hear
me out. Let me explain."

He looked at her now with that same icy stare that had pierced her
heart on Friday night. She felt her tears threatening and fought them
down. She wasn't going to cry. Not now. She had too much to say.

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 "What happened Friday night. I'm so sorry about that. Rebecca
had no right to do that and I had no idea that was going to happen. If
I had, I would have stopped her."

"At least she gave me the truth!" He snapped.

Elizabeth took a deep breath and fought for the courage that was
threatening to fail her at any moment.

"Noah, I didn't lie to you. I told you there were things you didn't
know about me. Things I wasn't ready to talk about yet. I WAS
engaged to Eric but that was before I broke it off and moved back to
Oak Tree. Just because he wants me back, doesn't mean I want to
go. As for the baby, I just found out about that a few weeks ago and
it's been really hard on me trying to decide what to do. I've been
planning to tell you. I was just waiting for the right time."

"The right time? What were you waiting for, Elizabeth? For me to
fall hopelessly in love with you? To be so hooked that it wouldn't
matter? Well, it matters, Elizabeth. It matters! And no matter what
you said about having secrets, it still feels like you lied to me. I can't
ever trust you again, Elizabeth. And where there is no trust, there is
nothing."

"I love you, Noah. Doesn't that count for anything?"

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 Noah turned his head away from her and swallowed hard.

"I don't believe you when you say that, Elizabeth. I don't think
you love me. I think you need me and that's completely different. I
think you're alone and scared and I'm just someone who's
convenient."

"You're wrong about that, Noah. I do love you. I love you more
than I've ever loved anyone. And THIS is exactly why it was so hard
for me to tell you about the baby. Because I was scared, Noah.
Scared that if you knew, you wouldn't love me back and I want you
to love me, Noah. I want you to love me the way I love you!"

The hardness in Noah's face had softened, but he was still distant
and cold. He kept staring out the window, anything to avoid looking
at her.

"Can't you love me, Noah?" She finally asked him.

He closed his eyes and frowned. For several minutes, he said

nothing. Finally, he shook his head, just barely, and then looked her
right in the eye.

"No."

His answer felt like a dagger to her heart. She'd thought he

couldn't hurt her any more than he already had, but she was wrong.

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This pain was worse than all the pain before it. At least now she
knew. It was over. She'd lost him, probably never had him in the
first place. At that moment, she wanted to hurt him. To make him
feel what she felt.

"Maybe I should go back to Eric then. Since I'm not wanted here."

He looked at her, his stare cold once again. "You do what you
have to do, Elizabeth."

She got up and dragged her chair back over to the table and
headed for the door. Once there, she turned and looked around her.
It was hard to believe how much had happened since the first time
she'd walked through this door. Her whole world had been turned
upside down. Finally, she looked at Noah. He was watching her.
She pleaded with her eyes. Begging him to stop her. To tell her not
to go. He just looked away. The tears came now. She didn't even
bother to stop them. She took one more look around and walked
away.

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 Chapter 33

Noah sat staring out the window for a long time. When he finally
looked back, she was gone. His office suddenly felt empty. He
looked around and realized how much had changed in the short time
she'd been there. She had walked into a disaster area and, in just a
few short weeks, had organized it into a work of art. Kind of like my
life, he thought, then pushed the thought away. Everywhere he
looked, he could see her touch. The table he'd barely been able to
see was now bare, the sun shining though the window reflecting off
it's surface. All the papers covering it had been sorted and
redistributed to their proper places, whether it be back to students,
who'd long since forgotten about them, into filing cabinets, or just
plain thrown away. She'd done the same with his desk. He'd finally
gotten used to being able to set his coffee on the desk without fear of
it teetering off a pile of papers and ending up in his lap, and he had
to admit, he liked it. Who would keep it that way now that she was
gone?

That word stuck in his heart. Gone. He didn't like that word. It

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hurt too much and he didn't like that pain. It was easier to be angry
at her. He'd spent the entire weekend working himself into a rage.
Being angry was the only way he'd been able to stop the pain that
had been tearing at his heart from that horrible moment in Rebecca's
kitchen. She was engaged! And pregnant, too! How could she have
led him on like that? Was she just trying to use him? The more he
thought about it, the more sick he felt. She'd probably been using
him to make her fiance jealous, so he'd come running after her. Who
knows, maybe she'd tried to trap him into marrying her by letting
herself get pregnant in the first place and it had blown up in her face.
So, she came here and latched onto the first sucker that fell for her
lies. It was hard to tell with Women like that.

What hurt the most was how much of a fool he'd been. It's not like
he didn't have experience with women who wanted to use him for
their own purposes. He had way too much experience with women
like that. Women like Alicia. What galled him was that he never
even suspected Elizabeth. Not even for a minute. She was so
different from any woman he'd ever met. He'd recognized that about
her right from the start. She'd seemed so innocent and vulnerable,
like a scared little rabbit. He wanted to pick her up, hold her and
protect her from the things she was afraid of.

Scared. Isn't that what she'd just told him? That she was scared.
She'd left her fiance and come all the way here to start over in a new
town and she was scared. Then she'd found out she was pregnant
and alone. Scared. When she'd seen him with Alicia, she'd reacted

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by pushing him away because she was scared. Scared of being hurt.
And finally, When she'd started to accept her feelings for him, she'd
been scared to tell him her secrets. Not because she was hiding
them, but because she was scared. Scared of his reaction. Scared
that he would hurt her, break her heart. Scared that another man
might let her down and that's exactly what he'd done. She'd come to
him this morning, open and honest. Had laid her heart out in front of
him and he'd ripped it apart and thrown it back in her face. All
because of his pride.

That's what this was about, all his anger. It was about pride. She
hadn't done anything to him. Not really. What had been hurt was his
pride. Sitting there in that kitchen had made him feel like a fool and
that's what he'd been angry about. Not her secrets. How could he
have been so blind? She'd come to him today and told him she loved
him and he'd been too proud to let his guard down and show her
how he felt. And now she was gone. After all these years of empty
relationships, he'd finally found a woman he was in love with and
he'd thrown her away. And he'd done it over nothing more than
pride. So what if she was pregnant with another man's child. Did
that really matter? That baby was part of her and if he could love her
he could love it, too. Was he really willing to let her walk out of his
life? Could he live with himself if he never saw her again?

He looked around his office and knew the answer. The answer
was the same one he'd given her earlier. No. Only this time the
question was different. He couldn't live without Elizabeth. Didn't

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want to. She made him happy. When she was with him, his whole
life made sense. He would never be complete without her. He was in
love with her and he couldn't deny it. He had to get her back. Had to
talk to her and hope it wasn't too late. Oh God, please don't let it be
too late.

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 Chapter 34

Elizabeth barely noticed the long, lonely walk back to Samantha's

apartment. For her, time stood still. She had no where to go now. No
place to be. No one waiting for her. She'd laid it all on the line with
Noah, put her heart in his hands, and he'd crushed it without a
second thought. Rebecca had been right all along, which made it
even worse. Noah had thrown her away as soon as he knew about
the baby. He was just like every other man she'd known except her
father. They loved you when it was good for them. But when it
really counted, they broke your heart and left you with nothing to
show for it but pain. She'd learned her lesson this time. She would
never again let a man hurt her like that. She'd never again let any
one at all hurt her like that. From now on, it was her and the baby
and that was it. She'd find a way to stand on her own two feet. She
would never let herself need anyone else again. Not Eric. Not
Rebecca. Not Noah. No one.

By the time she reached Samantha's apartment, she had

formulated a plan. The first thing she did was call the bus station

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and buy a bus pass for the following morning. It was quick, but why
wait. Now that her relationships with Rebecca and Noah were over,
she had no reason to stay. She wasn't worried about Samantha. She
knew they'd be permanent friends not matter where she went and
Samantha would understand. She just couldn't stay in this little town
any longer, so close to the two people who had caused her so much
pain. She had to get out now, while she was strong enough to do it
and before it was too late. She had the baby to think of and needed
to put her plan in action as soon as possible.

The next call she made was to a friend of hers in the real estate
business. She explained her situation. On her walk home, it had
occurred to her that the condo in Chicago that Eric was still living in
belonged to her as well. Fifty percent of the equity in it belonged to
her and, although she didn't know exactly how much it amounted to,
she knew it was quite a bit. Enough to buy her some time to get back
on her feet. Once she had the information she needed, she called an
attorney, also in Chicago, and put the wheels in motion for Eric to
either buy her half of the condo for an amount equal to her share of
the equity or be forced to sell and give her half of the proceeds. She
knew he would be angry, but she didn't care anymore. She had a
right to what was half hers and if he caused her any trouble, the
threat of a paternity suit would quickly shut him up. He had too
much to lose. She had to smile at that. Noah had accused her of
using him. Little did he know that she had much more to gain by
going after the man who was actually responsible for her
predicament. It was one of the benefits to being engaged to a man

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from a wealthy family who was too immature to consider a prenup.
Although they were never married, they WERE engaged and she
was carrying his child. And the relationship had been ended by HIS
infidelity.

Once all of her calls had been made, she sat on the futon, quite
pleased with herself. She was still hurting inside, but keeping
herself busy and focused on her plan was keeping that pain at bay.
She would go back to Chicago tomorrow. She wouldn't be going
back to Eric though. She would stay in the second bedroom of the
condo until Eric either bought her half or the condo was sold. Once
she had the money, she would find herself a small, inexpensive
place to rent somewhere and live off of the money until the baby
was born. After that, she would find a new job and build a life for
herself and her child. She would never allow herself to need
anyone's help again.

After her short break, she got up and packed the belongings she
had there at Samantha's. By that time, it was a little after noon. She
knew she had to return to Rebecca's house one more time to retrieve
the belongings she'd left behind. She wanted to do that while
Rebecca wasn't there, so now was the best time. Rebecca would be
at work and, if she hurried, she could get there, get her stuff, and be
gone before she came home from work.

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 Chapter 35

When she got to Rebecca's house, she let herself in and quickly
went up to her room. She gathered her things together in a small pile
on the bed. When she had it all together, she realized that her
suitcase was still at Samantha's. She hurried downstairs to the
kitchen and retrieved a few plastic grocery bags from the drawer
Rebecca kept them in. Back upstairs she packed her things in the
plastic bags. She was checking the room one last time to make sure
she hadn't missed anything, when she heard the front door open. She
glanced at her watch. It was too early for Rebecca to be home. Was
it Bob? She sat quietly on the bed, waiting for some sound to give
away who it might be. Whoever it was, she didn't want them to
know she was there.

After several minutes, she heard footsteps on the stairs. She could
tell by the sound that it was Rebecca. What was she doing home
now? She held her breath and waited, hoping Rebecca wouldn't
figure out she was there. When Rebecca's footsteps reached the top
of the stairs and came towards her room, she knew she was going to

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have no choice but to talk to her one last time. She steeled herself
for the confrontation she knew was coming. When the door opened,
she was ready. She glared at Rebecca with the same stare Noah had
used on her.

For a minute, Rebecca just stood there and looked around the
room. Her eyes stopped when she saw the bags on the bed.

"I stopped by Noah's office this morning hoping to talk to you but
you weren't there and Noah wouldn't tell me where you were.
Actually, he wouldn't talk to me at all."

"That makes two of us."

Rebecca looked at the bags again. "Are you moving in with

Samantha?"

"No, I'm not. I'm leaving tomorrow morning."

"Going back to Eric." Rebecca lowered her eyes to the floor. Was
she actually ashamed? No, not Rebecca.

"No, I'm not going back to Eric either."

Rebecca looked up in surprise. "Then where are you going?"

"Does it really matter, Rebecca? Or do you just want a heads up

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so you can plan ahead for your next sabotage mission."

"I'm sorry, Elizabeth. What I did was wrong. I know that now."

"If you say so Rebecca."

Elizabeth picked up her bags and prepared to leave. As she moved

towards the door, Rebecca suddenly burst into tears.

"Please don't go." She sobbed.

Elizabeth stood there, stunned. She'd never seen Rebecca cry this
way. Even as a child, Rebecca had been stoic and unemotional. To
see her cry this way threw Elizabeth off guard. She didn't know
what to say or do. Finally, she threw her bags on the bed and sat
down on the edge. The stress of this whole situation was taking its
toll on her and she didn't think she could handle anymore. Her own
tears started to flow right along with Rebecca's. Rebecca sat down
on the bed next to her and for a while the two of them just cried
together, each dealing with their own pain, neither one knowing
what to say or how to reach out to the other. Finally, it was Rebecca
who spoke.

"I hated you, you know?"

"What?" Elizabeth looked over at her, surprised.

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 "When we were growing up. I was always so jealous of you. The
way you and dad were so close. I envied the relationship you had
with him because I could never have the same."

"He loved you, too, Rebecca."

"I know, but it wasn't the same as it was with you. You were his
real daughter and I never could be."

"What are you talking about?" Elizabeth couldn't believe what

she was hearing.

"I know you never knew this. I wasn't supposed to know it either
but I found the divorce papers and adoption papers one day while I
was looking through an old truck in mom's closet. Dad wasn't
mom's first husband. She was married once before and she had me
during that marriage. I don't know what happened to him, but when
mom married dad, he legally adopted me. I don't think she ever
wanted anyone to know. But I knew. Even before I found the
papers, I knew something was different. Not worse, just different
and I was jealous of you because of it."

"Oh Rebecca, you shouldn't have been."

"I know." She said, starting to cry again. "But I was young and
stupid and I dealt with the jealousy by hating you and doing
whatever I could to hurt you. By the time we grew up, it was such a

231
habit, I guess I just kept on doing it. It was just the way our
relationship was."

"And that's why you've been doing all this to me? That's what all
of this has been about?"

Rebecca just nodded and started sobbing again, her face buried in
her hands. "I hope, someday, you can forgive me, Elizabeth. I won't
blame you if you don't. I know I deserve for you to hate me, but last
night when you said that, I realized how much I'd lost, all those
years of hating you. I let my own stupidity ruin what could have
been. I was so stupid. And I'm so sorry about Noah. You really
loved him. I know that now. And when I saw his face after you ran
in the bathroom to throw up, I knew he loved you, too. He was
devastated. I'm so sorry I hurt you both."

The thought of Noah and all she'd lost brought the pain rushing
back. She didn't know how to process all of this. The tears started
falling again. She was still so angry with Rebecca but at the same
time, she'd been waiting a lifetime for this to happen. For the two of
them to bond and become the way real sisters were supposed to be.
She looked over at Rebecca, who was still crying, too.

"I wish you would stay." Rebecca finally said.

Elizabeth shook her head. As much as she'd like to work things

out with Rebecca, she couldn't stay here. Couldn't deal with being

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so near Noah and not be able to have him.

"I can't stay, Rebecca. Not now. I'm going back to Chicago."

"To Eric?" She said, shocked.

"No, not to Eric. I'm going back to get some financial things
straightened out and then I'm going to use the money to get my own
place and start over, on my own. You were at least right about that. I
need to stand on my own two feet and make a life for myself and the
baby. Even if I wanted to go back, which I don't, Eric doesn't want
the baby. He wants me to give it up for adoption."

"You're kidding! That jerk! You were right to leave him,

Elizabeth. You were right all along. Will you ever forgive me?"

"I will, Rebecca, but it's going to take time. There's just so much
to take in right now. I don't even know what to think anymore.
You're my sister and, no matter how much I try to hate you, there's
always a part of me that loves you, too. I don't know how things will
be with us in the future, but I'm willing to try and make an effort if
you are. It's just going to take time for me to trust you again. We've
made up before only to have you go back to the way things were. I
won't put up with that anymore. If things change, really change,
then there is hope for us. That's all I can promise. I hope you can
accept that."

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 "I can accept that. I love you, Elizabeth. I don't think I've ever said
that to you. I know I've never showed it to you. But I want you to
know it now. You're a wonderful sister and a good person. You
always have been. It's why dad loved you so much."

The two of them sat there for a long time. Sometimes talking,
sometimes crying. Eventually the afternoon started to fade away
and they realized Bob would be home soon.

"Will you stay here, tonight?" Rebecca asked. Elizabeth thought

about it. Part of her wanted to spend her last night with her best
friend, but at the same time, she wanted to spend some time with
Rebecca and try to work things out.

"I will." She said, and saw Rebecca sigh in relief. "But I want to
go back to Samantha's first. I need to talk to her and I want to spend
some time with her before I leave in the morning. I'll come back
after dinner and we can talk."

"Ok." Rebecca got up off the bed. "I'll give you a ride back to
Samantha's. If that's ok with you."

Elizabeth got up off the bed and walked towards the door, where
Rebecca was standing. When she got there, Rebecca suddenly
hugged her. Surprised, she hugged her back and it felt good.

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 Chapter 36

Later that night after she had returned from Samantha's, she and
Rebecca talked for a long time. They were sitting in the living room
when there was a knock at the door.

"I wonder who that is?" Said Rebecca. She got up and walked to
the door, peeking out the blind at the side. "Elizabeth! It's Noah!"

Elizabeth immediately fled the living room and ran up the stairs.
"I don't want to talk to him, Rebecca. I can't bear to see him again."
She hurried to her room and closed the door.

She waited for a long time, listening to the murmur of voices

downstairs. She couldn't make out what they were saying and it was
driving her crazy. When he finally left, she hurried to the stairs to
find out what they'd said.

"He really wants to talk to you Elizabeth. He asked me to have

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you call him on his cell. He said it was really important."

"I can't, Rebecca. I just can't."

"Are you sure? Maybe you should give him a chance."

Elizabeth just shook her head. Just thinking about him brought
the tears back to her eyes. "I'm just going to go to bed now. I'll see
you in the morning."

She went to her room and lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling. As
tired as she was, she couldn't sleep. Thoughts of Noah flooded her
mind. She was surprised to hear another knock at the door an hour
later. She went to her window and peered out into the darkness,
trying to see who it was. She heard Rebecca answer the door and
talk to someone. A moment later, she heard the door close. She was
still watching out the window when she saw Noah. As if he sensed
her watching him, he turned to look at the window. She
immediately moved away so he couldn't see her. A second later,
Rebecca startled her by knocking at her door. When she opened it,
Rebecca handed her an envelope.

"Noah asked me to give this to you."

Elizabeth took it, her hands trembling. Rebecca closed the door
and Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed, holding the letter in her
hand. Part of her wanted to read it. To know what Noah had to say.

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But the other part of her was terrified. She couldn't bear it if there
was more anger there. She just wasn't ready to hear it. She sat there,
holding the letter in her hand for a long time. In the end, she put the
letter in her purse. She just couldn't bring herself to read it. She lay
down on the bed again and cried herself to sleep.

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 Chapter 37

Unlike the night, which passed slowly from lack of sleep, the
morning seemed to fly by as Elizabeth prepared to leave for the bus
ride back to Chicago. Both Rebecca and Samantha insisted on
accompanying her to the bus station and the ride there was quiet,
except for an occasional comment on the weather or something seen
along the way. They each seemed lost in their own thoughts, afraid
to say anything for fear of starting an unstoppable flow of tears that
would engulf them all. When they arrived, they were caught up in
the hustle and bustle of getting her luggage inside, getting through
the ticket line to check in and get her ticket, finding the appropriate
gate and getting her place in line to ensure a good seat. Only then
was it time to say goodbye. They hugged each other, laughing to try
and avoid the tears, but crying anyway. Then they hugged again,
laughing and crying at the same time. When the bus driver called for
the passengers to start boarding the bus, they shared one last hug
and then Elizabeth boarded the bus. She found her seat on the bus
and settled in for the long ride, before finally looking back at the bus
station. She couldn't stop the tears as she waved to Rebecca and

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Samantha, standing at the window together, leaning on each other
for support, crying and waving back at her. Elizabeth continued to
cry long after the bus had pulled away.

It was hard to believe that she was on a bus again, headed back in
the direction she had come from such a short time ago. How much
had changed since then. Elizabeth didn't even feel like the same
person. As painful as things had been, she had to admit that she was
a stronger person for it. She'd learned so much, about herself and
about her sister. She was glad that they had made a breakthrough in
their relationship and she had a lot of hope that, in time, they would
become friends as well as sisters. There was still healing to do, but
for the first time, she truly believed that they would make it. She'd
also gotten back the best friend she had lost track of so many years
ago. She hadn't realized how much she missed Samantha in her life
until she was there again and she knew she would never again allow
time or space to come between their friendship. Friends like her
were too precious to let slip away. And finally, there had been
Noah. Her heart was still breaking over him, still grieving his loss,
but she knew in time that would heal as well. She had learned from
him what true love felt like. Her love for Noah had showed her just
how empty her relationship with Eric had been and made her realize
how much more there could be. She didn't know if she would ever
find love again and she had no intent to go looking for it, but if it
ever happened, she'd know what was real and what wasn't and she'd
never settle for an empty relationship again. She wanted more. She
deserved more.

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 Hours later and hundreds of miles away, the bus finally stopped
for it's first dinner break. Elizabeth got off the bus and headed to the
small diner, where she ordered herself a sandwich and some soup.
When she opened her purse to pay for her meal, the letter from Noah
fell out on the counter. She just stared at it for a moment, almost
afraid to touch it. Finally, she picked it up and placed it on the try
with her food. At her table, she looked at it for a long time. She
wasn't sure if she could bear to read it. To see Noah's words. Did it
really matter now? She picked the letter up, intending to put it back
in her purse, but instead found herself opening it, scanning the
words.

My Dearest Elizabeth,

What words can I possibly say to make you understand how sorry
I am for not being there for you when you needed me most? I'm
sorry just doesn't seem like enough. Can you ever forgive me for
being the fool that I am?

You asked me this morning if I could love you. I want you to know
that the answer I gave you was a lie.

I do love you, Elizabeth. I love you with all of my heart. When you
walked out that door for the last time, you left an emptiness behind
that I cannot bear. I don't ever want there to be another moment
without you in it.

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 Can you find it in your heart to forgive me, Elizabeth? To spend
the rest of your life loving a fool like me?

I certainly hope so, because I cannot ever imagine my life without

you in it. I need you, Elizabeth, more than you could ever need me.

Please come back to me. I'll be waiting for you.

With all my love,

Noah

Elizabeth was barely able to finish reading the letter before the
tears clouded her vision. He does love me. Noah loves me! All of a
sudden, she was no longer hungry. Only one thought filled her
mind. She MUST get back to Oak Tree. She must go back to Noah.
She hurried back to the bus, looking for the driver. When she finally
found him and explained her situation, he was unable to help her.
The nearest bus station was more than a hundred miles away and it
wasn't one he was scheduled to stop at. It would be nearly 500 miles
before his next scheduled stop at an actual bus station. In tears, she
begged the driver to help her, babbling on about love and having her
baby and anything else she could say that would convince him to
assist her. Finally, he gave in. He said it was against the rules, but if
she would stop crying, he would swing by the bus station a hundred
miles away and drop her off. He helped her remove her luggage

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from the jammed luggage compartment and place it on the bus, so
she'd have it ready for him to make the stop without too much delay.

She waited impatiently for the rest of the passengers to return to

the bus so they could get back on the road and drove herself crazy
with fidgeting as each mile dragged by. When they finally reached
the bus station, Elizabeth barely managed to wait for the bus to stop
and the door to open before bounding out of the bus and into the
station. It seemed to take an eternity to cash in the remainder of her
current bus ticket and obtain a new pass for the next bus heading
back to Oak Tree. It took even longer for that bus to arrive. Once on
it, she relaxed a little, but she was still anxious and impatient. By
then, it was late evening and there was a long way to go. She was
tired but couldn't even think about sleeping. All she could think
about was getting back to Noah. It was nearly 4AM when she
finally stepped into the Oak Tree bus station. It was too early in the
morning to call Rebecca or Samantha, and even if it hadn't been, she
didn't want to call them. If she did, she knew they'd be there right
away and she didn't want to see them. Not yet. The only one she
wanted to see was Noah.

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 Chapter 38

With hours to kill before she could head to the University,

Elizabeth headed to the all night diner located next to the bus
station. Even at this hour, the diner had a fairly decent number of
customers, travelers like herself, killing time as they waited for
buses to arrive or leave. Elizabeth found a quiet little table towards
the back and settled herself in. After ordering herself some coffee,
eggs and toast, she pulled out Noah's letter and read it again. She'd
read it so many times since that first time, the paper was already
beginning to get soft in the creases, from repeated folding and
unfolding. She had so many things she wanted to say to Noah. So
many feelings filling her heart and mind. She didn't know where to
begin.

When the waitress returned, Elizabeth asked her for a pen and
something to write on. Elizabeth was grateful when the waitress
returned a few minutes later with a small pad of paper and a pen.
Slowly, she began writing her thoughts down on paper. Jumbled at
first, the words soon began to take shape and before long, she found

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herself writing a letter to Noah.

Dear Noah,

There are so many things I want to say to you. I don't know where
to begin.

Knowing that you love me makes my heart sing with joy. I love
you, too! More than I could ever explain in words. I can't imagine
my life without you in it and my heart was broken when I left your
office thinking I would have to face a lifetime of emptiness without
you.

I'm so sorry I didn't speak with you when you came to Rebecca's
to see me and I'm sorry I didn't read your letter before leaving for
Chicago. If I had, I would have come to you right away. I hope you
can forgive me for that. I just couldn't face you then. I was so afraid
of hearing what you had to say. Afraid to face more anger from you.
Most of all, I was afraid to see your face again. I knew that if I
looked into your eyes, I wouldn't be able to bear the pain of losing
you. It would have shattered my heart beyond repair.

I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Noah, and I promise,
no matter how afraid I may be, I will never keep a secret from you
again. Nothing in the world could be worse than losing you.

I love you with all my heart.

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 Love,

Elizabeth

Elizabeth finished her letter and carefully read the words through
several times. There was so much more to say but what she had
written seemed to be right, at least for the moment. She hoped to
have a lifetime to say the rest. She carefully folded the letter and
tucked it into her purse. Her half eaten eggs had grown cold while
she wrote, but, thanks to frequent refills from the waitress, her
coffee was still warm. She swallowed the last few gulps and then
gathered her things. It was finally time to head to the University and
face Noah. This time, she wasn't afraid.

When she reached the adjunct office building, she crept quietly
down the hall to Noah's office and peeked in. When she was sure he
wasn't there, she stepped inside and looked around. She almost had
to laugh a little. In the few days since she'd been gone, Noah's office
had already started to deteriorate into it's usual disorganized mess.
Elizabeth quickly straightened things up and then placed her letter
on Noah's desk, careful to put it where he would see it immediately.
Satisfied with herself, she hurried down the hall to the lounge and
hid her luggage. The minutes seemed to take hours as she waited
there, watching for Noah to arrive at his office. When she finally
heard him coming down the hall, she breathed a sigh of relief. She
waited for him to walk inside before creeping to his doorway to

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watch him.

Noah walked to his desk and set his coffee down next to
Elizabeth's letter. Engrossed in the newspaper he held in his hands,
he didn't see it. Not yet. He flopped down in his chair and lifted his
good leg onto the desk, propping his foot up in the usual manner. As
he struggled to lift his other leg, heavy from the cast, onto the desk
as well, he set the paper down on top of her letter. Elizabeth started
to get worried. Would he see the letter? Just then, he succeeded in
lifting his foot up and the heavy cast made contact with the cup of
coffee. In an instant, the newspaper covering Elizabeth's letter was
soaked. Elizabeth's heart sank. Her letter would be ruined. Noah
wouldn't see it now.

As tears of frustration welled up in her eyes, she watched Noah

scramble to his feet. He quickly righted the coffee cup and grabbed
the dripping paper off the desk, depositing it in the trash can next it.
He then picked up Elizabeth's letter and she could see that it was
stained with coffee as well. Noah shook it off and seemed about to
send it into the trash can right behind the newspaper when
something caught his eye. He began looking around the office, a
look of puzzlement on his face. Elizabeth looked around as well,
wondering what had caught his attention. Then she remembered.
She had straightened up his office and Noah was noticing it, but
didn't quite realize what was out of place. He shrugged his shoulders
and sat down again, the damp letter still in his hand. He stared at it
for a few minutes, lost in thought. After a few minutes had passed,

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he shook his head and reached over to throw the letter away. At the
last minute, he changed his mind and decided to look at it again.
Elizabeth's heart raced as he slowly unfolded the damp sheet of
paper and started to read.

Elizabeth watched him as he read it, the unguarded emotions

passing across his face. When he had finished the letter, he looked
around the office again and smiled. When his eyes returned to the
letter again, Elizabeth stepped into the doorway. Noah immediately
looked up, his eyes meeting hers. For several minutes they just
stood there, staring into each other's eyes, their hearts speaking in
ways no words could match. Then Noah smiled, that slow sexy
smile that made Elizabeth's heart leap with joy. He was hers and she
was his. Unable to restrain herself any longer, Elizabeth raced
across the room and threw herself into his arms. She wrapped her
arms around his shoulders, slipping her fingers into that familiar
soft swirl of hair at the nape of his neck, and studied his face. Oh
God, I love this man!

He kissed her then, softly at first, brushing his lips across hers,
teasing her, waiting for her to respond. When he paused, she leaned
forward, refusing to let him go. He smiled and kissed her again,
taking possession of her. He held her so tightly her heart raced and
she could barely breathe. It was the most wonderful feeling in the
world. When he finally let her go, she was dizzy with happiness.
She leaned against the desk, planting her hand squarely in a cold
puddle of spilled coffee. Suddenly aware of the wet mess still

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spreading on his desk, force of habit took over and she quickly
began to minimize the damage by moving papers out of the way
with one hand and deftly grabbing napkins from Noah's desk drawer
with the other. She looked up in surprise when Noah began to laugh.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Organizing." She answered and grinned.

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 Prologue

Squeals of laughter filled the air as Noah galloped around the

room, bouncing Hannah gleefully on his shoulders. Elizabeth set the
birthday cake on the table and watched her husband and daughter
playing their favorite game. It was hard to believe how much her
life had changed in the last year. She was so happy she could barely
remember what it was like to be anything else.

She still regretted the bitter ending to her relationship with Eric.
He'd been so hostile and angry at her for forcing him to sell the
condo and he'd wanted nothing to do with the baby. When her
attorney had presented him with the paperwork to terminate his
parental rights, he'd signed them immediately. Elizabeth wasn't
angry with him though. If anything, she felt sorry for him. He would
never know the wonderful ball of energy that they'd created
together. Never see those sparkling blue eyes light up with
excitement over a bedtime story or see her white blonde curls
bouncing as she played horsy with abandon on anything she could
get on well enough to ride. He would never hear the laughter that

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filled Elizabeth's ears now as she watched her daughter, her heart
filling with a love she could never have comprehended a year ago.

As much as she felt sorry for Eric's loss, she was also glad he'd
given up his rights to Hannah. Noah had adopted her immediately
after she was born and he loved her as much as any man could love
his own child. As far as he was concerned, Hannah was his. His
precious baby girl and she was definitely daddy's little girl. Noah
doted on Hannah and Elizabeth both, but Hannah had him wrapped
around her little finger in a way that Elizabeth never could.
Elizabeth loved watching them together, romping around the room,
laughing and playing.

Another squeal of laughter from Hannah made everyone else in

the room burst out laughing as well. Elizabeth looked around her, at
all the faces of the people she loved. Samantha was still her best
friend and they spent time together whenever they could. And then
there was Rebecca. It was hard to believe how much her
relationship with Rebecca had changed. They'd had a few rough
spots early on, but they were both determined to keep their
relationship from slipping back into it's old pattern and they'd
eventually managed to overcome their differences and forge the
friendship Elizabeth had always dreamed of. Once Hannah had
been born, they'd become even closer as Rebecca lavished the love
on Hannah that she'd been unable to give to a child of her own. She
went a little overboard sometimes, completely spoiling Hannah, but
Elizabeth didn't mind. How could you complain when your child

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was so loved.

She turned her attention back to the table and lit the candle in the
center of the cake.

"C'mon guys. Time to sing happy birthday!"

Noah galloped to the table and settled Hannah in her high chair
with a flourish. He stepped behind Elizabeth and wrapped his arms
around her as they sang happy birthday and watched their daughter
clapping and laughing along with them. They blew the candle out
together and laughed as Hannah promptly dug her hands into the
middle of the cake, smashing it between her fingers and grinning.
Noah hugged Elizabeth tighter and kissed her on the cheek as they
watched.

"I love you." He whispered in her ear. "Nothing in the world

could make me happier than I am right now."

"Nothing?" She whispered back, a slow grin spreading across her

face.

"Nothing." He whispered back.

Elizabeth turned to face him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"So, I guess telling you that next year we'll have two won't make

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you any happier, huh?"

Elizabeth just watched as the look of confusion on his face slowly

gave way to a wide grin as the meaning of her words dawned on
him. She kissed him softly and then turned back to watch Hannah,
feeling Noah's arms tighten around her. How could life get any
better than this?

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