ENG4U Exemplars

ENG4U Writing Exemplars
Moderated Marking
Lawrence Park CI, Northern Secondary School, Forest Hill CI,
William Lyon Mackenzie CI
14 January 2011
ENG4U Writing Exemplars 2011

Acknowledgements
These materials were created by a moderated marking partnership of Lawrence Park CI,
Northern secondary School, Forest Hill CI and William Lyon Mackenzie CI. The
development of these resources was part of Lawrence Park CI’s English Faculty
Professional Learning Community. These resources are covered under the Creative
Commons Attribution Non‐Commercial 3.0 License. Permission is given to share and
reproduce these materials for non‐commercial uses.
Writers / Markers
Cory Antonini – Lawrence Park Collegiate Institute
Edward Lee – Forest Hill Collegiate Institute
Carla Mancini – William Lyon Mackenzie Collegiate Institute
Robert Mancini – Lawrence Park Collegiate Institute
Dara Siegal – Northern Secondary School
School Host
Principal Lillian Jovanovic – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute
Project Organizers
Cory Antonini – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute
Robert Mancini – Lawrence Park Collegiate institute
Published by
Cory Antonini
Question and comments should be directed to:
Cory Antonini
416 393 9500
cory.antonini@tdsb.on.ca
This document is also online at www.antonini.ca/english/exemplars
2 Acknowledgements


Contents
1. Introduction ............................................................................................................................... 4
2. Features of this Document ........................................................................................................ 5
3. Ministry Documents .................................................................................................................. 6
4. Assignment / Task Documents .................................................................................................. 9
5. Level R ..................................................................................................................................... 15
6. Level 1 Mid (1M) ...................................................................................................................... 17
7. Level 2 Low (2L) ....................................................................................................................... 19
8. Level 2 High (2H)...................................................................................................................... 21
9. Level 3 Mid (3M) ...................................................................................................................... 24
10. Level 3 High (3H)...................................................................................................................... 27
11. Level 4 Low (4L) ....................................................................................................................... 30
12. Level 4 High (4H)...................................................................................................................... 34

3 Contents


1. Introduction
Purpose of Writing Exemplars
The exemplars in this document will help students, parents and teachers assess and
monitor students’ progress. These exemplars were developed to:
 show the characteristics of written work at each of the four levels of achievement
for grade 12, university English;
 promote greater consistency in the assessment of student work;
 show the connections between curriculum expectations, assignment criteria and
student work;
 demonstrate writing skills of each learning category;
 to provide a framework of descriptive feedback and “next steps” that will help
students move toward higher levels of achievement.
Teachers, parents and students are encouraged to examine the student samples and
teacher comments to develop a clearer understanding the characteristics of each level of
achievement. English faculties are encouraged to use the samples as an assessment
calibration tool.
Teachers, parents and students are also encouraged to examine the following exemplar
sets:
 Grade 9 English Exemplars from the Ontario Ministry of Education
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/secondary/english9ex/
 Grade 10 OSSLT (literacy test) Samples, Rubrics and Annotations
http://www.eqao.com/pdf_e/10/OSSLTPublicRelease_Booklets.pdf
 Grade 11 English Exemplars from the Ontario ministry of Education
http://www.edu.gov.on.ca/eng/curriculum/secondary/english11ex/
Marking methodology
The samples in this document are actual student work. The samples are a unit
culminating activity (essay) based on the “Beauty and Truth” unit from TDSB’s ENG4U
Course of Study, 2002. The moderated marking process consisted of the following:
 Markers were provided with assignment documents (prior unit tasks and
expectations, reading charts, graphic organizers, rubrics and assignment criteria)
as well as Ministry documents (English achievement charts and curriculum
expectations).
 All samples were assessed using the Ontario Achievement Chart for English.
Markers assessed and discussed numerous samples; the samples here were
agreed upon as works that best represent particular levels of achievement.
4 Introduction


 Descriptive feedback and assessment comments we recorded for each particular
level of achievement. Each exemplar also included “next steps” for improvement.
2. Features of this Document

This document contains the following:
 levels of achievement (from the Ministry’s Growing Success, 2010)
 achievement chart form the Ministry’s English Curriculum 11‐12
 prior learning and activities (graphic organizer)
 a description of the assignment (student hand‐out)
 assignment criteria and assessment framework (learning categories)
 student rubric by English Curriculum Strand
 student samples at various levels of achievement
 each sample is followed by teacher’s comments (organized by learning category
and curriculum expectation) and “next steps”

5 Document Features


3. Ministry Documents
Achievement Levels1
Achievement Percentage Mark Achievement Percentage Mark Range
Level Range Level
4 H 95–100 2 H 67–69
4 M 87–94 2 M 63–66
4 L 80–86 2 L 60–62
3 H 77–79 1 H 57–59
3 M 73–76 1 M 53–56
3 L 70–72 1 L 50–52
R <50

*Note: Level 3 is the “Provincial Standard.” Level 1 is far below standard. Level 2 is
approaching standard. Level 4 identifies achievement that surpasses the standard.

Achievement Chart for English 9‐122

1
Growing Success, 2010. Ontario Ministry of Education
2
The Ontario Curriculum Grades 11 and 12: English, 2007
6 Ministry Documents






4. Assignment / Task Documents
Student hand‐out

ENG4U – Truth and Beauty Summative Essay
Now that we have investigated various texts that explore the themes of Truth and Beauty, you
will plan, write and polish a multi paragraph essay.

Your essay directive is: Compare and/or contrast the ways in which three artists/writers
explore concepts of Truth or Beauty. Note: students should focus on either Truth or Beauty.

Writing Process Steps:

1. Construct your thesis statement: review your graphic organizers and reading charts to find a
common element(s) among three works. Look for an element of Truth or Beauty that you can
compare and/or contrast.

2. Find and record textual support for your argument (be sure to record MLA citations).

3. Outline your Introduction, body paragraphs and conclusions.

4. Prepare your essay cue card. Your cue card must contain only your thesis statement and
literary quotations.

5. Essay draft #1 will be written during a 75 minute class on ________________.

6. The following class will be used for a peer edit.

7. You will polish your essay at home and submit it to turnitin.com on ______________.

*see rubric and evaluation framework for assessment criteria

Evaluation Framework

Instructional Tasks
Pre-Writing:
- vocabulary expansion
- individual written definitions of Truth or Beauty (museum assignment)
- instruction and activities around elements of poetry (poetic devices, forms, structure,
elements of style)
- full group discussions, small group analysis of works, lectures on course readings
(poems, essays, visuals.)
- Truth and Beauty mind maps and graphic organizers for readings
- formative assessment of thesis statements and outlines
9 Assignment Documents


- MLA style taught; MLA handout provided and used while writing final essay
- direct instruction on essay conventions (structure and organization of introduction,
conclusion and body paragraphs; embedding quotations and argument development.
- essay exemplars given (levels 2-4); rubrics reviewed
Final Product/Expectation
- 5 paragraph (or multi-paragraph) analytical/literary essay that discusses the ways in

which three writers/artist explore concepts of truth or beauty. Students were encouraged
to find a common theme among the works or to compare and contrast the works
- argument supported by evidence and analysis
- demonstrate an understanding of elements of poetry and style (i.e. poetic devices,
diction, terminology, form and structure)
- 3rd POV, formal academic tone
- Language conventions (grammar, spelling, punctuation)
- examine a minimum of three works
- embed quotations; MLA documentation
- first draft written in class; the polished draft was written at home and submitted to
turnitin.com
Curriculum Expectations

Knowledge/Understanding
- demonstrate knowledge of elements of poetry forms and features (i.e. poetic

devices, diction, terminology, form and structure)
- demonstrate understanding of works studied (theme, purpose and style)
- demonstrate knowledge and understanding of essay form (i.e. analytical form,
compare and contrast form, persuasive form)
Thinking/Inquiry
- Make effective arguments in a way that demonstrates critical analysis of works.

- Present arguments in a way that demonstrates understanding of audience and
purpose
- Create a challenging thesis appropriate to the purpose and audience
- Fully develop arguments with effective evidence and analysis
- Develop arguments that fully satisfy the thesis
Communication
- express thoughts, ideas and analysis in a clear and logical manner

- create coherence between sentence and paragraphs (transitions, hooks)
- effectively embed quotations into the fabric of essay
- use an effective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion


- use diction and phrasing appropriate to grade, purpose and audience
- use formal style conventions (POV, tone, subject specific terminology)
- use and control of language conventions (grammar, punctuation and spelling)
Application
- apply rules and conventions of the MLA Style Guide to finished work



Rubrics
Grade 12 Strand: Writing Name:
D: Level 1 (50 ‐ C: Level 2 (60 ‐ B: Level 3 (70 ‐ A: Level 4 (80 –
"R" 59%) 69%) 79%) 100%)
Achievement
Curriculum Below
Categories 1L 1M 1H 2L 2M 2H 3L 3M 3H 4L 4M 4H
Expectations Level
K/U, T/I, C, A
1 50‐ 53‐ 57‐ 60‐ 63‐ 67‐ 70‐ 73‐ 77‐ 80‐ 87‐ 95‐
52% 56% 59% 62% 66% 69% 72% 76% 79% 86% 94% 100%
complete
as in Level 2, but a
complete introductory & as in Level 3, but
minimal sense of
□ introduc on introductory & concluding organizing principle is
and conclusion
C, A
concluding paragraphs with
repetitiveness and a
effective and fully
hook for reader’s
paragraphs. both using effective developed.
interest
structure
thesis expresses thesis expresses a well as in 3 but written
1. Dev. & Org. Content
undemanding but
□ thesis T/I , K/U clear thesis
sufficient structured, economically and/or
purpose/argument appropriate argument. stylistically
topic and
topic and topic and concluding. as in 3 and are
concluding
□ paragraph concluding sentences expressed stylistically embedded
structure
C sentences are
sentences
effectively and non‐ into fabric of
identifiable and
identifiable repetitively paragraph
non‐repetitive
content adequately clear attempt at clear overall structure content seamlessly

□ content
organization
C embedded and embedding and used to embed and embedded and
organized organizing content organize content organized

□ research & idea T/I , K/U, adequate idea competent idea good idea exceptional idea
development. A development development. development. developed
competently selects
adequately selects
language/register to effectively selects exceptional use of
language/register to
□ voice, tone and suit language/register/POV language/register/POV
diction
C suit
audience/purpose; to suit to suit
audience/purpose;
POV mostly audience/purpose audience/purpose.
POV inconsistent
consistent
2. Form & Style
effectively varies wide variety of
adequately varies varies sentence sentence types and sentence types and
sentence types to types and lengths to lengths to lengths communicate
□ sentence cra C communicate most communicate ideas communicate clearly clearly, accurately and
ideas clearly clearly and to suit purpose suit purpose and
and audience audience
transitions and/or
infrequent use of somewhat effective transitions and hooks
hooks create logical
□ coherence C transitions and transition and hook
connections between
create unified and
hooks. use coherent writing
ideas and paragraphs
as in 3 but uses
□ grammar, adequate spelling, satisfactory spelling, very few or no grammar or
punctuation and C grammar and grammar and spelling, grammar and punctuation to
3. Conventions
spelling punctuation punctuation punctuation errors. enhance meaning

and/or style
adequately follows competently follows
formatting/ layout/ formatting/ layout/ very few errors in strictly adheres to
□ producing editing conventions editing conventions formatting/ layout/ formatting/ layout/
finished work
C, A of written work, of written work, editing conventions of editing conventions of
including MLA including MLA written work, written work, including
citation citation including MLA citation MLA citation



Grade 12 Strand: Reading and Literature Name:
D: Level 1 (50 ‐ C: Level 2 (60 ‐ B: Level 3 (70 ‐ A: Level 4 (80 –
"R" 59%) 69%) 79%) 100%)
Achievement
Curriculum Below
Categories 1L 1M 1H 2L 2M 2H 3L 3M 3H 4L 4M 4H
Expectations Level
K/U, T/I, C, A
1 50‐ 53‐ 57‐ 60‐ 63‐ 67‐ 70‐ 73‐ 77‐ 80‐ 87‐ 95‐
52% 56% 59% 62% 66% 69% 72% 76% 79% 86% 94% 100%
reads course reads course reads course reads course materials

□ understanding
materials with materials with materials with thorough,
of course
material and
K/U some satisfactory proficiently & insightful
understanding of understanding of understands theme understanding of
purpose
1. Reading For Meaning
theme & purpose. theme & purpose. & purpose theme & purpose
supporting and supporting/specific
□ evidence to supporting and/or
some general some specific evidence well chosen;
support specific evidence
argument/thesis/
T/I supporting or evidence given but
appropriate for
point established
specific evidence. incomplete to forcefully and
purpose establishing point.
establish point economically

some attempt to
□ inferences; analysis is complete analysis is complete,
analyse how analysis is on target
analysing and T/I evidence supports but incomplete
and point is insightful and clearly
evaluating texts established supported
point

recognizes few identifies 1 or 2 accurately identifies
characteristics of characteristics of characteristics of identifies a variety of
text forms and/or text forms and/or text forms and characteristics of text
□ text forms and K/U, T/I,
features; attempts features; features; explains forms and features;
features A explanation of adequately explains how they help explains how they help
2. Form & Style
contribution to contribution to communicate communicate meaning

meaning meaning meaning
identifies 1 or 2 identifies elements identifies a variety of
identifies two or
elements of style of style in texts; elements of style in
more elements of
in texts; little to explains how they texts; explains how
style in texts;
□ elements of K/U, T/I, no explanation of help communicate they help
attempts to explain
style A how they help meaning and communicate meaning
how they help
communicate enhance the and enhance the
communicate
meaning of the effectiveness of effectiveness of the
meaning of the texts
texts texts texts
3. Reading Fluency
□ vocabulary uses and uses and understands

has an adequate
development; is developing understands grade an extensive and
grade and purpose
reading familiar K/U, C, A grade appropriate
appropriate
and purpose expanding grade and
and unfamiliar vocabulary appropriate purpose appropriate
vocabulary.
words. vocabulary vocabulary



Graphic Organizer



5. Level R
Beauty Essay
There is always that one moment in someones life that defines them.From a presidential
win to an athelete breaking a world record, there is always that breath taking moment in
peoples lives. It is when they feel good about them selves and nothing can get in the way
of it. Even after they have passed away, their life will still be very much alive. If someone
has made a good life for themselves most likely their attitude has either affected
someone elses, or made a huge impression on the communities around them. Life is a
lens that illuminates the moments uptill inveitable death, life is simpily beautiful.
In 1892 science and technology were not advanced like they are today. There was
no high resolution lens and telescopes to see into space. This ment there was a very
bleak knowledge of life outside earth. In 1892 Walt Whitman wrote a poem about what
he thought of science. The essay by Science and beauty by Isaac Asminov explains how
withman felt. whitman was tired of all the number and graphs, he would rather just sit
on a hill and take a look at the stars. In 1892 there was some knowledge of space but it
didnt convince anyone. Asminov,"Should i stare at one leaf and willingly remain ignorant
to the whole forest? Should i be satisfied to watch the sun gliting off a single pebble and
scorn any knowledge of a beach?". This quote shows that asminov felt the universe is
much more diverse and important that whitman thought. Since 1892 and even before
then scientists are working on figuring out the wonders of out earth and solar system.
Even though many of these scientists have passed away all their hard work is very much
alive in textbooks and notes, this is a example of how even though they have passed they
still pass their experience and aspects of their life to others, making their life an element
of beauty.
Taking criticism is part of being a poet. Italian poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti wrote the
poem "Constantly risiking absurdity and death". The poem is a big methaphor for a poets
life. when a poem is read many will critisize the poem. Ferlighetti wrote there is
someone on a high wire and can fall at any second, this is symbolic to himself. When
someone critisizes a poet it will hurt their chances of being a succesfull poet, death is not
physical death in this case but symbolic death to the end of his career. The more and
more you push someone and hurt them they are soon to "fall to death". Gravity is
symbolic to the critisizers, as they push down on him he must somehow keep himself
balanced.

15 Level R


Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrates very limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms
‐ Demonstrates very limited understanding of works studied
‐ Demonstrates very limited understanding of the essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Demonstrates very limited critical analysis
‐ Presents work with a very limited understanding of purpose and audience
‐ Insufficient argument with a very limited analysis (essay is incomplete)
‐ Thesis is not connected to purpose and audience

Communication

‐ Incomplete execution of introduction and conclusion
‐ Very limited paragraph structure, style and transitions
‐ Lack of quotations; quotations are not integrated within the paragraph structure
‐ Diction and phrasing is insufficient to grade level

Application

‐ Limited understanding of MLA rules and conventions

Next Steps for Improvement

‐ Thesis statement should be developed with teacher input
‐ Need to review the terminology of the discipline to develop an academic vocabulary
and tone
‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure (ie. Introduction, Body and Conclusion
structure)
‐ Construct an argument that is sufficient for the task assigned
‐ Utilize the writing process more effectively (ie. create a framework, graphic organizer
and outline)
‐ More time should be spent on proofreading and editing
‐ Review criteria for assignment and seek extra help for grammar and punctuation

16 Level R


6. Level 1 Mid (1M)
Beauty Essay
Many people have plunged into the depths of literature in order to find an answer to
what truth really is. Truth is often portrayed as what the public believes to be real. Although this
is the case, truth is difficult to find in literature because of how abstract it is.
In the poem “The Story”, by Karen Connelly, truth is something that cannot be found.
The poem translates to the idea that the more one seeks for truth, the more one becomes lost
engulfed in the quest for truth and therefore cannot find it. Connelly’s true understanding that
one becomes lost in the search for truth is shown in the lines, “You know you are a fool/ for
having come this far/ You know you could never/ swim fast enough.” (Echoes p.6) This states
that to keep searching for truth is a fool’s game and that once one has gone deep enough in
search for truth, it is then too late to try and escape its hold. In literature there are different
ideas of what truth is and how to show it. The one commonality of all literature involving truth is
that truth is often hard to find and therefore unobtainable.
Truth is also hard to find in the poem “Guilt”, by Leona Gom. In this poem truth and guilt
link together in the way that guilt is the feeling one gets when they do not tell the truth.
Although guilt and truth and distinctly linked together in this poem, the poem still gives the
image that one becomes lost in truth when searching for truth. Gom shows this image in the
lines, the argument with your father about/ not having seen his damned magazine/ then finding
it in your room/ and never admitting it. (Echoes p.10) Gom sends the image of one lying, thereby,
not telling the truth and eventually becoming lost in the lies and guilt that consume one mind.
This consumption is also shown in the lines, thousands of them, little knots/ you can’t shake
loose from your memory/ it’s too late now to say you’re sorry/ they contract along your nerves/
to consciousness, whenever you think/ you are not a bad person, there/ they come, little lumps
of guilt/ making their daily rounds/ like doctors, keeping you sick. (Echoes p.10) Truth and guilt
are linked in the poem, meaning that if you become lost in guilt, you also become lost in truth.
Therefore showing how one can become lost in truth in another way.
In final poem, “This day in History”, by Bert Almon, it is thought that in order to find
truth, one must go back in time. The meaning behind this is, truth existed years ago and to find it
one must dive into history to search for it. This still shows that one become lost in the search for
truth because history is vast and can lead one into its depths, never to be taken back out. The
truth that is found in history is shown in the lines, The radio tells me/ that back in 1950/ the sun
rose blue over Great Britain,/ from forest fires/ in Western Canada. (Echoes p.11) this poem
makes one become lost in the truth of it, rather than the truth in it. One must look for the truth
of the poem and understand how the truth is represented and what it really is. Making one
become lost in the truth of the poem instead of the truth found in poem.
Through these three poems, the importance of truth in literature and how one becomes
lost in the search for truth is shown in absolute detail. Also that truth is still hard to find even
after seeing where it lies and its effect on those who dangerously decide to try and find it.
17 Level 1 Mid (1M)


Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrates limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms
‐ Demonstrates limited understanding of works studied
‐ Demonstrates limited understanding of the essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Demonstrates limited critical analysis
‐ Presents work with a limited understanding of purpose and audience
‐ Insufficient argument with a limited analysis
‐ Insufficient thesis for purpose and audience

Communication

‐ Very limited execution of introduction and conclusion
‐ Very limited paragraph structure, style and transitions
‐ Quotations are insufficiently and awkwardly integrated within the paragraph structure
‐ Diction and phrasing lacks understanding of purpose and audience, inappropriate to
grade level
‐ Minimal use of tone and control of language conventions

Application

‐ Limited understanding of MLA rules and conventions


‐ More detailed thesis statement requiring a greater thematic interconnection
‐ Need to review the terminology of the discipline to develop and academic vocabulary
and tone
‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure (ie. Introduction and Conclusion structure)
‐ Utilize the writing process more effectively (ie. create a framework, graphic organizer
and outline)
18 Level 1 Mid (1M)


7. Level 2 Low (2L)
Beauty can not be defined by any particular thing. It is not something that can be found
in the dictionary with a specific answer. It needs to be explored and examined. Beauty
had reason and intelligence. Many authors try to explore and grasp the concept of what
is beautiful. Five pieces of literature stand out in the text Echoes 12 that talk about
beauty; “The Woman I am in my Dreams”, “Candle in the Wind”, “The story”, “Science
and Beauty” and a piece of artwork from “Selections from The One and the Many”.
These pieces of literature represent what beauty truly is. They show that beauty is
history, curiosity, and an imperfect person.
Most things in the world carry a story and have history behind them. All the people in
the world, no matter how young they may be, have story to share. These can be stories
of struggle or success. In Connelly’s poem “The Story,” she explains that each person has
a unique history. She states “each of us will tell a story of scars and ocean, the way you
never know what’s in deeper water” (6). The stories that people have generate an
emotion of things such as hope, sympathy, or passion. People are not the only thing with
history that creates feeling. Things such as the sky and the stars carry an ancient story
that allows one to feel emotion. Isaac Asimov examines how the science and history
linked to the stars make them beautiful. “What I see‐ those quiet, twinkling points of
light‐ is not all the beauty there is.” (Science and Beauty, 311). He is trying to show the
beauty beyond the ascetics of the stars and there is a story behind them. The story of the
stars creates a feeling of curiosity and wonder.
The wonder of the unknown carries a simple beauty. The train of thought going
through ones mind generates the idea that not one human knows everything. Everyone
has something to explore and things to learn from one another. The photograph of a
little boy with a curious look on his face, taken by John M. Berridge in “Selections from
The One and the Many” (520), has a simple beauty to it. The photo shows the boy deep
in thought, looking as if there is something he wants to know. The simplicity in the child’s
quest for an answer creates an idea that he has something to learn from another person.
It seems as though everyone is unique in their thoughts, personality and appearance.
Not one human is perfect and there is no way of telling what flawless is. Something
that is ‘perfect’ is not unique and had no imperfections, which is what is most beautiful
about a person. Maxine Tynes explains an average woman who wishes she was different.
This woman imagines herself as the perfect person. “The woman I am in my dreams is
taller than me, and sees the world as she walks unlike me” (The Woman I am in my
Dreams, 16). What this woman does not realize is that the things she dislikes about
herself make her unique. Elton John also talks about a woman who was judged for her
issues, Marilyn Monroe, and how her problems and individual personality made her
19 Level 2 Low (2L)


beautiful. This comes from the song “Candle in the Wind”. It describes her grace,
individuality and how she lived her life through imperfections, and that is beautiful.
All of these literary devices prove that history, curiosity and imperfections are all things
that are beautiful. Authors try to show through literature what beauty is, and they try to
define it in their perspective. Everyone has their own take on what is beautiful. Beauty is
everywhere, it can not be discovered or defined.
Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrates limited knowledge of poetic devices and poetic forms
‐ Demonstrates some understanding of works studied
‐ Demonstrates some understanding of the essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Demonstrates limited critical analysis
‐ Presents work with a limited understanding of purpose and audience
‐ Weak argument with a limited analysis

Communication

‐ Limited cohesion and coherence in idea development
‐ Limited paragraph structure, style and transitions
‐ Quotations are not effectively imbedded within the paragraph structure
‐ Ineffective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion
‐ Diction and phrasing insufficient for purpose, audience and grade level
‐ Minimal use of tone and control of language conventions

Application

‐ Some understanding of MLA rules and conventions


‐ More detailed thesis statement requiring a greater thematic interconnection
‐ Diction requires more development
‐ More critical analysis in paragraph structure
‐ Create a framework and outline for the essay
20 Level 2 Low (2L)


8. Level 2 High (2H)

Truth Essay
Our world is a place that is filled with greatness but also many flaws. In order to fully understand
these flaws we must be made aware of the truth. This truth does not come about easily, but
once achieved, we can begin to understand changes that need to be made within our society.
The poem “ Guilt”, by Leona Gom, the poem “ This Day in History”, by Bert Almon, and the
photograph of a boy in “ Selections of one and the Many” , taken by John M. Berridge, all explore
this concept in depth. These works demonstrate truth as a motivating force for people to make
positive changes in the world.
Leona Gom’ poem explores the guilt a person may feel for the numerous regretful
actions they have done in their life. The poem begins with a daughter turning away her mother’s
gift of a new set of dishes. The narrator explains how hurt the mother’s face looked. As the
poem continues, three more scenarios are given in which the narrator feels guilty for what she
has done. This guilt builds and builds with each guilty act. Gom explains that this guilt will not
simply go away on its own, “ … whenever you think / you are not a bad person, there / they
come, little lumps of guilt / like doctors, keeping you sick. ” ( 20‐23 ). Gom tries to tell the reader
to resolve their problems, because, like guilt, they will not go away without effort. If the narrator
had apologized in the beginning she would not have had to deal with the horrible, reoccurring
guilt. Gom reveals that problems, like guilt, will eventually become unfixable, “ thousand of
them, little knots … its too late now to say your sorry” (16‐18). In the end, the narrator wishes
that she has dealt with her guilt earlier, or not had committed the guilty acts at all. Gom uses the
harsh truth about guilt to motivate her readers to deal with their problems before it is too late.
The image of a poor boy, photographed by John M. Berridge, shows the sadness many
children feel and the devastating lives they lead. In this picture a young boy is in an alleyway and
looking off into the distance. His dirt filled clothes drape off of his frail body. Depression and
desperation can be seen in the boy’s eyes. He is clearly alone and helpless. Despite all of this
there is still hope in his eyes. Hope that his life can improve or even turn around. The
photographer shows the harsh truth about how this poor boy lives his life. It is clear that the boy
has nothing and no one, while many who view this picture have everything they could ever need.
The dirty and empty background is horrific in comparison to comfortable quality of the viewer’s
life. Berridge uses this photograph to show the truth about children living in poverty so that
those not in poverty can be motivated to make change. A change that can make many young
children, like this boy,’s hopes come true.
In his poem, Bert Almon discusses the fires in western Canada in 1950 and how it
affected the rest of the world. Canada was alone to deal with the devastating fires for a while
before other countries took notice. The poem explains how Britain was only affected by the fires
when smoke crossed the Atlantic Ocean and made their sun rise blue. Almon reveals how people
of the world think they are united, but we are only truly connected when a disaster affects
21 Level 2 High (2H)


everyone, “ We can say “ brother ” / to everyone, but only a blue sunrise/ might make us feel it ”(
17‐20). Many people do not take notice of other’s problems until it affects themselves. Almon is
using his poem about the devastating fires to highlight this human flaw. It is not until people
understand their true flaws that they can begin to change. People need to be concerned with the
problems of others and not just their own personal issues. In addition, people should not just be
there in times of disaster, but the good times as well. A disaster, like the fires in western Canada,
should not be necessary to unite the world. Almon uses the truth about human nature to
motivate people to make positive changes in their lives.
Gom, Berridge and Almon use the harsh reality to send a message to the world with
regards to changes that need to be made. Our world will never be perfect, but even the smallest
changes can improve everyone’s lives. The truth can change someone’s entire outlook on life, or
it can simply allow them to see their personal flaws. Regardless, if everyone was aware of the
truth our world would have the potential to be a much grander place.
Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Limited knowledge of poetic forms and features
‐ Demonstrates some understanding of works studied
‐ Demonstrates insufficient knowledge and understanding of essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Demonstrates some understanding and analysis of audience and purpose
‐ Develops arguments with some evidence and analysis
‐ Arguments need to satisfy a thesis

Communication

‐ Needs to express thoughts, ideas and analysis in a logical manner
‐ Needs to create coherence between sentence and paragraphs
‐ Quotations need to be effectively embedded within the essay
‐ Needs an effective organizational framework for introduction, body and conclusion
‐ Diction and phrasing needs to be more appropriate to grade, purpose and audience
‐ Some control of language conventions

Application

‐ Some understanding and application of MLA style




‐ Clear and concise thesis statement needed
‐ Topic sentences expand on argument of thesis statement
‐ Needs to develop a thorough outline and framework
‐ Quotations need to be properly embedded
‐ use graphic organizer to develop argument
‐ Review MLA Style guide



9. Level 3 Mid (3M)

A famous economist named John Kenneth Galbraith once stated, "There is certainly
no absolute standard of beauty. That precisely is what makes its pursuit so interesting."
Indeed, beauty can be very difficult to define since it is such an abstract idea. This is
perhaps why the pursuit of beauty, which can also be considered a quest for the ideal, is
such a popular theme in society. Poets and other artists work to achieve beauty through
their works. They must accept the fact that they will be subject to criticism from others
and that it can be very difficult to achieve what others consider to be beautiful. Certainly,
the search for the ideal (whether it be physical beauty or beauty through perfection) is
unique to each individual. This makes it an interesting pursuit and perhaps even a
dangerous journey as each person works alone to achieve beauty and gain praise from
others.
In Lawrence Ferlinghetti's poem "Constantly risking absurdity and death," in Echoes
12; a poet with great ambitions strives to create beautiful literature. Through an
extended metaphor, the poet compares his life to the life of an acrobat. There are many
similarities between poets and acrobats when it comes to the risks that must be faced
during the pursuit of beauty. The ultimate goal of both professions is to dazzle the
audience and achieve perfection. For the poet, the greatest risk and fear he faces is
having his work criticized by others. An acrobat can also be criticized for his work, but he
can also be seriously injured or even killed if he isn't focused on having a flawless
routine. To perfectly sum up the life of a performer Ferlinghetti states he is "Constantly
risking absurdity/ and death! whenever he performs/ above the heads/ of his audience"
(1‐5). The bottom line is that each time a performer displays their work to the public,
they are risking absurdity. This is similar to the poet who " like an acrobat! climbs on
rime/ to a high wire of his own making" (6‐8). The common theme is that they both are
trying to achieve beauty in their work while fearing failure. The poem has a rather
negative tone and since the acrobat falls it seems that the goal to achieve both beauty
and praise may not be possible.
Next, Maxine Tynes' poem "The Woman I Am in My Dreams", in Echoes 12; displays
how nobody is truly happy in the pursuit of beauty. The woman, or the poet, envisions
herself in her dreams as a drastically different person from who she is in real life. She is
subconsciously searching for beauty through the confident person she is in her dreams.
In the woman's dreams, she is able to achieve perfection. The person in her deams takes
risks as stated by Tynes "The woman I am in my dreams/ breaks all the rules about
shoes/ wears them high and red! with killer spike heels"( 16 ‐19) and is not afraid of
expressing who she really is. Unfortunately the woman in real life holds back and does
24 Level 3 Mid (3M)


not express her true self for fear of criticism. The woman from her dreams is a metaphor
for the poet she wishes to be. She believes that the most incredible people in the world
are willing to run free without worrying about what others think about them. She says
that "her legs and feet are well /they speak for her in footsteps on the road/they laugh at
hills and/at rolling, unforgiving, gravel" (29 ‐31). This imaginary woman is much more
comfortable with who she is as stated by Tynes "Her legs are straight and sure/ they
don't fly out from under her" (25‐26). The woman having the dream can be compared to
the poet and acrobat from the previous piece. Just like them, this woman is afraid of
failing in her pursuit of beauty. However, the woman in her dreams is able to overcome
the challenges which are symbolized in her dream by the "hills" and "ice." Tynes leaves
us with a feeling of optimism as the Woman seems to gain strength at the end of the
poem.
Finally, in the "Palm tree image", in Echoes 12; there is a close up image of the trunk
of a lone palm tree while in the background there are numerous other palm trees that
can be seen from bottom to top. Above these palm trees is a beautiful bright blue sky.
The lone palm tree in the foreground can be compared to a person who, while
attempting to pursue beauty, becomes isolated from the rest of society. When people
are criticized, they can feel lonely and as if they have no place in society. This is evident
in the first two pieces of literature where the woman feels lonely and different, while the
poet explains how he can often feel the same way when being criticized by others. This
lonely palm tree surely seeks to fit in with all the other trees. The fact that only the trunk
of the tree can be seen represents a person that is not willing to open up and face their
fears. However, as noted in previous instances, the only way to achieve ideal beauty is by
displaying your full personality and having the confidence to face criticism on the
journey. The shadow beside the tree represents the beauty that can be achieved by the
lone tree while the small bumps along the tree trunk symbolize all the roadblocks that
may be faced during the quest for beauty. In the first poem, the acrobat and poet faced
the fear of failure as they walked the tightrope. In the second poem, the roadblock in
between the woman and beauty was her lack of self confidence. Finally, the blue sky in
the background of the palm tree image represents a light at the end of the tunnel. This
can be compared to the optimism felt at the end of Tynes' poem.
Beauty is something that we all strive for in life. What seems to make the pursuit for
beauty so interesting is the fact that beauty is abstract and difficult to define. Certainly,
beauty is something that can only be achieved through hard work and a willingness to be
open minded. To achieve this ideal, one must stay true to themselves and believe in who
they are. Without self confidence and determination, nothing will ever be achieved.
There are people all around the world who never achieve personal satisfaction simply
because they are never able to overcome the fear of failure. One of the biggest fears in
25 Level 3 Mid (3M)


life, is the fear of failure. In the pursuit of beauty, society as a whole must learn to
overcome this fear and live without any regrets.
Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrate sufficient knowledge of poetic terms and devices
‐ Understands the essay form and purpose
‐ Needs a better understanding of how a thesis guides the form of an essay

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Makes effective and mostly clear arguments
‐ Arguments are appropriate to audience and purpose
‐ While there is a clear attempt at a thesis, it is insufficient and underdeveloped for the
task

Communication

‐ Expresses thoughts and ideas in clear manner
‐ While there are some transitions between paragraphs, there needs to be a clearer
connection between paragraphs
‐ Mostly effective essay framework
‐ Demonstrates good language conventions, diction and grammar
‐ First body paragraph written well; however the proceeding paragraphs need more
argument development

Application

‐ MLA style is used effectively


‐ A complex or more challenging thesis is needed to clearly guide ideas and arguments of
body paragraphs
‐ Supporting principles need to be clearly communicated in the introduction
‐ Quotations and direct references are needed to accurately support the thesis
‐ 3rd body paragraph needs argument development
‐ Review MLA Style guide (titles)
‐ vary quotation integration methods

26 Level 3 Mid (3M)



When people think of beauty, they often think of their favourite objects such as
family heirlooms, places in nature, or laughter. This beauty is happy, filled with love and
joy. When people encounter laughter or nature it leads them to speculate as to how
amazing a place the world is, and how great life can be. These items give the impression
that only objects that produce positive emotions can be beautiful. However, this is not
always the case. Not all beauty projects positive emotion. Much of the world’s beauty
comes at a cost, arriving in the wake of pain and discomfort. In the pictures of John M
Berridge’s “Selections from the One and the Many” as well as the poems “Sailing to
Byzantium” written by William Butler Yeats and “The Lady of Shalott” by Alfred
Tennyson, beauty is depicted in this way. These artists use images of tragedy to create
beauty.
Photographs work well to capture and save images of the real world. They create
nearly perfect reproduction of life and can even convey emotions when presented in the
right way. John M Berridge uses one of his photographs to convey images of sadness
and suffering to his audience, and make them want to do something for the world. This
is seen in his picture of a small child looking blankly towards the camera. The child
appears to be very poor and unhappy. The picture is filled with dull and faded colours,
making the whole scene depressing. Once they have viewed this picture, the audience
begins to feel empathy towards the child. The picture forces the viewer to realise that
not everyone in the world is as well off as themselves, and that they should count
themselves lucky. This image is beautiful, not because it makes its audience joyous, but
because it makes those same people sad. It makes people feel better about themselves,
the picture being a foil for their own lives. It is a dark contrast, showing that no
hardships in our lives compare to those of this child. Good can also come from people
seeing these tragic images. When people can see how terrible other parts of the world
are, they often decide to make a difference. The image of the child makes people realise
that not everything in the world is as good as the place where they live, and that they
can help improve the lives of these less fortunate people. This picture is beautiful
because it calls upon strong emotions and encourages people to help make the world a
better place.
Poets often help readers find beauty in tragic images. In the poem “Sailing to
Byzantium” presented in the book Echoes 12 and written by William Yeats, there is
initially tragedy, but good prevails in the end. This is evidenced when Yeats writes “An
aged man is but a paltry thing, a tattered coat upon a stick” (68). This quote initially tells
the reader that being old is a terrible, tragic thing. However, it continues to say that


being old does not necessarily have to be bad. Indeed, the next line, “unless [his] soul
clap its hands and sing” (68), suggests hope for the aged man, hope that lies in the soul’s
desire sing, which is a metaphor for our souls’ ability to live outside of time. The speaker
suggests the soul can learn to “sing” by “studying monuments of its own magnificence”
(68). These monuments could be the beauty of human art and culture—what Byzantium
was known for. The speaker explains that if the old man stays creative and engages in art
and culture, he will remain happy when he becomes old. Yeats shows that even when
facing the ultimate tragedy (death), humans have the ability to find beauty, which gives a
roadmap to happiness, or at least a way to change our emotions from bad to good, or
from sad to happy.
Beauty does not always need a happy ending. Tragic images can still create
beauty even if no happiness comes of it. Alfred Tennyson uses tragedy in his poem “The
Lady of Shalott” presented in Echoes 12. In the poem, Tennyson tells the tragic story of
an artist who is “cursed” to only ever look into a mirror and never directly into life.
Tennyson writes “And moving through a mirror clear, that hangs before us all the year,
shadows of the world appear” (37‐39). These lines of the poem tell its audience that
looking through the mirror is not nearly the same as actually seeing the world. Tennyson
uses the metaphor of the mirror to illustrate how the artist is forced to see the world
differently than others, but this also means they must only live in the “shadows of the
world.” It is tragedy that the artist, a person who creates beauty, is not to be able to see
directly into real life. Tennyson’s lady in fact dies when she tries to experience the world
directly, yet the art she leaves behind remains beautiful.
Misfortune and discomfort can be seen as beautiful things. All emotions, not just
positive feelings of love and joy can bring this about. Tragedy can be used in many ways
by artists to create beauty. Some will use it to draw its audience in, while others use it as
a contrast and a way for people to feel better about their lives. We as an audience must
see this tragedy and use it for the good of the world. Those who witness tragedy must
do what they can to try to stop it. Hopefully they will do everything they can to change
the world for the better.
Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrate sufficient knowledge of poetic terms and devices
‐ Understands the essay form and purpose
‐ Understands how a thesis guides the form of an essay



Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Makes effective and mostly clear arguments
‐ Arguments are appropriate to audience and purpose
‐ While there is a clear attempt at a thesis, it is insufficient and underdeveloped for the
task

Communication

‐ Expresses thoughts and ideas in clear manner
‐ There are sufficient transitions between paragraphs
‐ Effective essay framework
‐ Demonstrates good language conventions, diction and grammar

Application

‐ MLA style is used inappropriately in places (ie. poetic line breaks and line numbers)


‐ A complex or more challenging thesis is needed to clearly guide ideas and arguments of
body paragraphs
‐ Supporting principles need to be clearly communicated in the introduction
‐ More transitions are needed for better coherence
‐ Conclusion needs better development and connection to body paragraphs
‐ Review MLA citations

29 Level 3High (3H)


11. Level 4 Low (4L)
Art: Mapping the Ideal
The artificial and the manmade are inexorably linked and ubiquitous in the modern world. By
definition, the artificial, or that made by man, is the opposite of nature and belongs to art. Art, the
craftsmanship of humankind, comes in many different forms, whether it be within poetry or a brilliant
painting. Forever these works have attempted to capture the spirit of a fantasy world, like one of Atlantis
or Camelot, but these fantasies remain only a figment of the imagination. These utopian worlds are not
real, and they are wholly unattainable. Similarly, the search for the ideal is ultimately futile. However in the
underlying journey to find this ideal, a brave adventurer can feel the power of beauty and truth along the
rough road to the fantasy world. Along the way, the adventurer, be it an artist or merely an observer, will
try to map out their treacherous journey to the ideal. Consequently, by following a well‐trodden path,
future artists and observers can continue the quest for the ideal. In this way, the intrinsic goal of an artist is
not only to create art which portrays the ideal, but also to create art that will last long after its creator
"wastes away". Although the artist ultimately fails to capture the ideal in their art, the artist acts to
preserve beauty, consequently allowing the search for the ideal to continue indefinitely.
The natural world is commonly associated with the ideal because items exuding life and vitality
tend to resonate strongly within the artist. In the "Lady of Shalott," by Alfred Tennyson, the artist is
trapped within a tower located tantalizing close to the illusory Camelot. However, the Lady is separated,
wholly immured and relegated to the outskirts of the perfect world that is Camelot. As the ultimate
outsider, she is unable to experience the idyllic reality of the world just outside her window. All she can see
is a reflection of her world through her weaving mirror, which is an extremely limited portal into the
realities of life. She cannot see the truth of the ideal world, ~o she cannot depict this in her artwork.
Accented by the fall of night, the highway acts as a metaphor for the ideal because it is transient:
And moving thro' a mirror clear
That hangs before her all the year,
Shadows of the world appear.
There she sees the highway near
Winding down to Camelot
[ ... ]
pass onward from Shalott. (46‐50, 54)

All the Lady can see through her mirror is the idyllic reflection of the world, and if she accidentally gazes
upon the imperfections of reality, the mirror will shatter and the Lady will be cursed because she is
venturing away from the ideal. The innocence and purity of the mirror's world is affirmed when the poet
dedicates an entire section of the poem to describing the visual perfection of Lancelot. When Sir Lancelot
is riding through the "Elysian" fields, the Lady's gaze is averted from her mirror. Tennyson appeals
powerfully to the visual sense when he describes the curse that has befallen the Lady:
She saw the helmet and the plume,
She look'd down to Camelot.
Out flew the web and floated wide,
The mirror cracked from side to side;
"The curse is come upon me," cried
The Lady of Shalott. (112‐117)
When looking upon the ideal visual form of Lancelot, the Lady has come near what she believes to be the
ideal. The song sung by Lancelot lures the Lady's attention away from her art and ever closer to the
unattainable ideal. Her life as an artist has ended because no artist is allowed to copy the idyllic Camelot
into their work. The Lady's search for the ideal cannot be completed in life; therefore it must be found
eternally within the afterlife. Tennyson describes the Lady's curse as a shroud of darkness enveloping
Camelot:
In the stormy east‐wind straining,
The pale yellow woods were waning,
30 Level 4 Low (4L)


The broad stream in his banks complaining,
Heavily the low sky raining
Over tower'd Camelot;
Down she came and found a boat
Beneath a willow left afloat,
And round about the prow she wrote
The Lady of Shalott. (118‐126)
The Lady, in approaching what superficially appears to be the ideal, has caused a great stir, seemingly
achieving the impossible. By leaving her artist's post to make contact with the real, the curse starts to drain
colour from the once vibrant and shining world, and nature asserts its dominance over the artificial by
sparking a violent storm which replaces the glorious sunlight. As a metaphor for the fleeting nature of the
ideal, this quotation validates the elusive nature of the ideal. Because of this elusion, the ideal must be
searched for always, so whenever an artist like the Lady makes the taxing effort to capture the ideal
artificially, they must sign their names upon their work to take credit. Despite these efforts, Lancelot's
remarks about the Lady indicate how often it is that external beauty, rather than the soul of an individual
or a work of art, is all that is remembered. Although the Lady failed to attain the unattainable, her story is
riveting enough to be told by Tennyson centuries later. The life of an artist is a difficult one, as the ideal is
within arm's reach but can never be touched. However, art will last forever, adding another layer to the
preservation and maintenance of the perpetual search for the ideal.
The artificial‐‐that made by man rather than made by nature ‐‐can also be seen as embodying the
ideal. According to William Yeats in "Sailing to Byzantium," the artificial and its association with eternity is
more beautiful than the finite nature of reality, where people grow old, "waste away", and disappear.
Yeats metaphorically constructs himself as an old man who seeks to preserve his intellectual spirit by being
crafted into a golden statue in ancient Byzantium. He first leaves the world of youth, where the ideal lives
in nature, and sails to Byzantium where statues and monuments last artificially in an "artifice of eternity"
(24) . Yeats believes the search for the ideal will be unsuccessful as long as it is attached to a dying form.
Yeats summarizes this sentiment as:
Consume my heart away; sick with desire
And fastened to a dying animal
It knows not what it is; and gather me
Into the artifice of eternity.
Once out of nature I shall never take
My bodily form from any natural thing. (21‐26)
Yeats describes the elderly as melancholically yearning for the ideal, but their tragic flaw is that their
idealism is attached to a dying animal‐their deteriorating physical form. He faults the human form with,
philosophically, not knowing what it really is. He prefers the master craftsmen of Byzantium to consume
his heart and convert him not to a natural form reborn, but rather an artifice of eternity. The artifice
represents the deceptive evasion of detection. In this poem, and lending to the eternal lifeless nature of a
statue, this refers to the detection of life, or the evasion of nature and mortality. Yeats sees this artificial
form as being eternal and capable of living forever in the natural world. The beauty Yeats sees in eternity is
further described in the last stanza of the poem, whereby Yeats remarks:
But such a form as Grecian goldsmiths make
Of hammered gold and gold enamelling
To keep a drowsy emperor awake;
Or set upon a golden bough to sing
To lords and ladies of Byzantium
Of what is past, or passing, or to come. (27‐32)
Thanks to these craftsmen, an old leader's past glory is made eternal. A statue resides in a world where the
physical form of a past leader is able to live forever alongside gold mosaics and monuments of ancient
successes. Despite this, Yeats states that he would choose instead to be fashioned as a golden bird, the
true symbol of freedom. The last line of the poem concludes with this overarching image of surviving the
past, present and future, which drives home the Yeats' idea that eternity is where the ideal is found. By
31 Level 4 Low (4L)


lasting eternally in the form of art, the Byzantine empire, although short‐lived by historical standards, can
be glorified as the years go on because the empire survives in another way ‐through art and ideas rather
than in natural physical form. This is what Yeats sees as the ideal: the art, that which is not natural and
made through human workmanship, is what allows the artist or humankind as a whole to achieve the
eternity necessary to reach the ideal.
The concept of eternity permitting entrance into the world of the ideal is also discussed through
John Keats' in‐depth analysis of historical art in "Ode on a Grecian Urn." Just as Yeats sees the artificial as
the vehicle to the ideal, Keats sees imagination as a vehicle to the ideal. In fact, Keats believes that the
eternal nature the Grecian urn allows it to tell a story more powerfully than any historian could. A historian
looks at the cold facts rather than the warmth conveyed by the world of imagination, where stories of
emotion and essential life are told. In the first stanza, Keats emphasizes this critical distinction:
Thou foster‐child of silence and slow‐time,
Sylvan historian, who canst thus express
A flowery tale more sweetly than our rhyme:
[...]
Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard
Are sweeter. (1‐11‐12)
Keats believes the urn embodies eternity: as the "foster‐child" of silence and slow‐time, the urn is capable
of sharing the ideal because it is so near to it. Keats feels a deep, vivid and imaginative story within the urn.
To indicate his affinity for the imagination, he says that unheard melodies are sweeter, implying that
imagined music is more emotionally potent and moving than the melodies of reality. Keats emphasizes
that the ideal must be imagined through art, imagery or rhyme, as opposed to recounted by a historian.
Near the end of the poem, Keats tells the reader exactly why the imagination can be a vehicle to the world
of the eternal and to the ideal, when he concludes:
Thou silent form, dost tease us out of thought
As doth eternity: Cold Pastoral!
When old age shall this generation waste,
Thou shalt remain in midst of other woe
Than ours, a friend to man, to whom thou say'st,
"Beauty is truth, truth beauty". (44‐49)
Keats defines human life as finite and perpetually "wasting," just as Yeats does in "Sailing to Byzantium."
The urn, because of its eternal nature, is capable of teasing us of everyday thought and leading us to the
dream‐world of imagination, where one cannot be destroyed or waste away. Keats, in embellishing the
powers of imagination, writes about how the woes and rigours of daily life are forgotten in this dream
world. The urn, as a launching point for the imagination, carries strong statements such as "Beauty is truth,
truth beauty" (49), so they can be heard years after the poet's or artist's death. Keats, in further
establishing the power of the eternal, suggests that despite the mortal nature of the artist, the ideal world
depicted within art can last forever, allowing the pursuit of the ideal to continue indefinitely. Here, poetry
allows its readers to experience the same imaginative fire that Keats felt so many years ago when he saw
the Grecian urn and the silent, frozen and timeless world held within it.
An artist's life may end, but art lives on to preserve the beauty of the captured moment and,
ultimately, the search for the ideal. Tennyson, despite describing an illusory world, sees the artist as trying
to depict idealism in a natural form, where bright sunlight, rushing torrents and windswept plains breathe
the vitality of the real natural world. On the contrary, Yeats and Keats each see the ideal as residing in
world of statues and of the imagination. That which is artificial is capable of eternally projecting the glory,
emotion and imagination of human life. Due to the interminable nature of the search for the ideal, art
remains the best vehicle to carry on and preserve that search. The glory of a moment, exquisitely captured
by an artist, can be felt long after the artist's death, still with the same eerie, mystical power of the original
moment. A utopia may be impossible to locate, but the great cartographer of the ideal‐‐the artist‐‐can tell
us where one might come close and where the footprints of the nomadic ideal can be found.
32 Level 4 Low (4L)


Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrates a thorough understanding of the works studied
‐ Demonstrates a clear understanding of poetic forms and features
‐ Demonstrates a good knowledge and understanding of essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Makes effective arguments in a way that demonstrates critical analysis of works
‐ Presents arguments in a way that demonstrates a clear understanding of audience and
purpose
‐ Challenging argument; however it needs to be formatted in a clearer and more concise
manner

Communication

‐ Thoughts, ideas and analysis need to be organized in a clearer and more logical manner
‐ Effective use of transitions and hooks
‐ Effectively embedded quotations into the fabric of essay
‐ An effective thesis would improve the organizational framework for introduction, body
and conclusion
‐ Diction and phrasing needs to be more succinct
‐ Stylistic uses of grammar and punctuation

Application

‐ Proper use of MLA rules and conventions


‐ Rework a more concise thesis with a more directional statement
‐ While the vocabulary is elevated, there is some misuse of terms
‐ Quotations need to be supported with reference to thesis
‐ Some arguments are overly verbose; work on conciseness

33 Level 4 Low (4L)


Beauty and truth are abstract concepts, highly subjective to opinions, ideas and beliefs. The
debate on the nature of beauty and truth is one spanning centuries with authors fervently
arguing the definitions of these elusive ideas, attempting to confine them to a set description.
Meditating upon beauty in their respective poems "Ode on a Grecian Urn" and "Sailing to
Byzantium" John Keats and W.B. Yeats present a compelling definition of beauty as an artist's
quest for immortality through an ideal different from the truth of reality. On the other hand,
Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education? Zap! Pow! Cut!" in conjunction with Maxine Tynes' poem
"The woman I am in my Dreams” provide a brutally honest social commentary on the distortive
nature of truth and its effects on society's understanding of beauty and image.
In his poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn," John Keats imbues the urn with his notion of an ideal
eternal beauty undisturbed by the passing of time. He admires the immortal beauty of art and
its ability to transcend time, yet he understands its limitations and its inability to exist in the
temporal. "More happy love! More happy happy love! / Forever warm and still to be enjoy'd"
(24‐26) characterizes Keats' initial portrayal of beauty as immortal and immutable. In the first
four stanzas of the poem, the eternal nature of art epitomizes its beauty. In stanza five,
however, the narrator, though mesmerized by this ideal of beauty, seems to awaken to the
harsh realization that it is in fact truth, the temporal, that defines beauty. While initially
depicting beauty as the quest for the eternal, the narrator now sees the urn's beauty as "Cold
Pastoral" (45), merely a frozen image of an ideal impossible to achieve in reality. Thus, Keats
ends by saying that "Beauty is truth, truth beauty" (49). However, the beauty of art lies in its
eternal nature, the beauty of the temporal world in truth.
Similar to "Ode on a Grecian Urn," W.B. Yeats' poem "Sailing to Byzantium" defines beauty
as an artist's quest for immortality. Unlike Keats, however, Yeats does not contrast the eternal
beauty of art with the reality of the temporal, but simply aspires to become immortal as part
of art. He defines beauty as a desired, yet understandably unattainable ideal, because as a
human he is grounded in the temporal restricted by the limitations of reality. The narrator sees
the eternal nature of Byzantine art as symbolizing an escape from the decay of life and a path
to immortality. He beseeches the works of art to "consume (his) heart away; sick with desire /
[. . .] into the artifice of eternity" (21‐24). He condemns the mutability of life and defines
beauty as the eternal nature of art. Yeats asserts that beauty is the ability of a work of art to
immortalize its creator. Both Keats and Yeats acknowledge the quest for the eternal as the
beauty of art; however, unlike Keats who defines beauty as truth, Yeats presents it as the
eternal nature of the imagination.
Beauty is a subjective concept influenced by an individual's values, beliefs and ideals. From
Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education? Zap! Pow! Cut!" one can conclude that the ambiguous
character of beauty is directly linked to the variability of truth. He argues that "reflexes, values,
even feelings", the very factors influencing one's perception of beauty and truth, "have been
programmed by that all‐seeing deity known as the tube". Modern media, whose reach seems
to be infinite, distracts individuals' understanding of truth. Truth lies in one's interpretation.
However, in his essay Iyer asserts that in modern society the individual interpretation is
globally dictated by the media, thus distorting a whole generation's perception of reality, truth
and beauty. By being "programmed" with a generic definition of truth, individuals lose the
ability to think critically and discern truth for themselves. Thus, Pico Iyer's essay defines truth as
one's ability to filter the distortions of the media and, by thinking critically, derive a personal
interpretation of truth.


Pico Iyer's definition of truth and its effects on society is further supported by Maxine
Tynes' poem "The woman I am in my Dreams," where Tynes condemns the media imposed
truth of beauty. By contrasting a woman's appearance in reality with the ideal presented by
the media and reflected in the narrator's dreams, this poem shows the negative effects of the
distortion of truth. "The woman I am in my dreams/her legs are straight and sure/ [. . .] they
don't hide under long skirts/her legs and feet are well" describes the woman's belief that her
own beauty pales in comparison with the media influenced image in her dreams. Tynes
criticises the media's negative influence on women's perception of beauty and image.
According to her, media distorts truth by imposing a fixed and unreal ideal of beauty. Truth, in
this altered form, becomes a devastating force of self‐deprecation for many women, like the
narrator. Thus, Pico Iyer and Maxine Tynes seem to agree that truth at its core is a media
influenced distortion, which must be filtered of the interpretations imposed by others, in order
to derive one's own definition of truth and, thus, perception of beauty and image.
The relationship between truth and beauty, though illusive and often difficult to discern,
appears to be an important part of their definitions. In Keats' poem "Ode on a Grecian Urn" and
Yeats' poem "Sailing to Byzantium" beauty is defined in terms of truth as an unattainable, but
desired, ideal of eternity, which renders beauty as truth. Pico Iyer's essay "History? Education?
Zap! Pow! Cut!" and Maxine Tynes' poem "The woman I am in my Dreams" seem to contradict
the definition of beauty, by defining truth as a distorted representation of beauty. Therefore,
beauty and truth are ultimately interpretations of each other, dependant on an individual's
values, ideals and beliefs.
Evaluation
Teacher Notes


‐ Demonstrates insightful use of poetic forms and features
‐ Demonstrates insightful understanding of works studied
‐ Demonstrates exceptional knowledge and understanding of essay form

Thinking/Inquiry

‐ Makes effective arguments in a way that demonstrates thorough critical thought
‐ Thorough understanding of audience and purpose
‐ Creates a complex thesis supported by an insightful analysis

Communication

‐ Expresses thoughts, ideas and analysis in an insightfully clear and logical manner
‐ Creates coherence between both sentences and paragraph structures
‐ Seamlessly embeds quotations into the fabric of the essay
‐ Effective use of diction and a strong control of language conventions

Application
‐ Effective use and application of MLA style



‐ Identify and apply literary devices and literary techniques to further support and
enhance the claims being made

A Lawrence Park CI Professional Learning Community Project 2011

For a digital copy of this document and more writing exemplars, see
www.antonini.ca/english

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2. Features of this Document

- 5 paragraph (or multi-paragraph) analytical/literary essay that discusses the ways in

- demonstrate knowledge of elements of poetry forms and features (i.e. poetic

- Make effective arguments in a way that demonstrates critical analysis of works.

- express thoughts, ideas and analysis in a clear and logical manner

content adequately clear attempt at clear overall structure content seamlessly

spelling punctuation punctuation punctuation errors. enhance meaning

reads course reads course reads course reads course materials

theme & purpose. theme & purpose. & purpose theme & purpose

contribution to contribution to communicate communicate meaning

□ vocabulary uses and uses and understands

8. Level 2 High (2H)

9. Level 3 Mid (3M)

10. Level 3 High (3H)

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