Government Seeks To Get 'Hurst Involved In Financial Legislation

by Maree-Lynn Cicon J55 ^ government may enforce.
The main issue discussed at the "Parental income eligibility for
March 30 MSG meeting concern- BEOG loans will be lowered from
ed proposed Federal financial aid $25,000 a* year to*$19,000,NjShe
cuts for education pursuits. said, "Itjwas supposed to in-
Government officers Rich Lan- crease from $25,000 to $28,000.
zillo and Mary Gausman attend- This will eliminate between
ed a Coalition of Pennsylvania 500,000 and 600,000 students from
University Student's Conference the BEOG program, i; ''
in York on March"*27 through "A student's family currently
March 29.. The purpose of this must contribute 14 per cent to the
workshop was an organizational educational costs per year; this
meeting for PISC, which is a lob- will be increased to 20 per cent
bying group on the Pennsylvania for the academic year 1982", she
levels ?- f £s added. fNfc \ 1 £9
Vice-President Lanzillo stated
& Lanzillo related jthat Mer-
that nine Pennsylvania colleges cyhurst. has the potential of
were in*attendance,V'The cuts becoming the Northwestern Pa.
that the current administration area's Regional headquarters.
wants to enforce are extensive," ***Our region is not heavily
he said, "It's possible to have 20 represented. This has a lot of
per cent or more of our student potential for us to become involv-
enrollment drop because of* the ed and recognized as a leader in
financial aid cuts." our area,' he responded. •• 5 £
Gausman pointed out some iff* At notion was made for a
specific measures that the general vote of support for the
two officers to organize a trip to
Washington D.C. for National
Lobbying Day ion April 13th.
They, as representatives of MSG,
plan to correspond with area col-
leges to explain the importance of
such a trip and to get these in-
stitutions involved. \ f and eight students who would at-
Next, a bid was made by the
Environmental Club for govern-
mental recognition; official
voting will be conducted on this
issue at the next meetings re-
quested by J the':- Enviromental
studies department. ''The man
running these workshops is the
author of our current textbook,"
said Sue Slagtef spokesman for
the group. J J I fc ^ t f l r
"With what we learn at these
meetings we will be willing to
come back and set up workshops
here," she added, -rWe want to
make people our age aware of en-
vironmental problems.'
The group is asking MSG to
fund one-fourth of their cost with
the administration giving
another fourth. The administra-
tion's contribution, however, was
not verified. The remaining half
would be paid by the professor
tend, said Slagle. The costs would
entail $15 per person.
A motion was made to table the
discussion until the next meeting,
when more information could be
provided If the Enviromental
clubfwas recognized by the
government, MSG could possibly
loan them the money to be repaid
at a future date, a representative
brought up. "This would alleviate
all problems that we might en-
counter if we set a precedent in
giving departments money,"
s t a t e d T r e a s u r e r Mary
Gausman. &** '-=£ '•
• In the SAC report, Lanzillo
stated that the proceeds of The
April 10, Campus Center dance
will benefit Muscular Dystrophy.
A trip to Pittsburgh on May 1st to
hear science fiction author Isaac
Assimov was proposed. The cost
of the bus would be the only ex-
pense since the lecture is free, ac-
cording to Representative
i Regina Zeyzus. The body was
asked to get feedback from other
students dealing with the
feasibility of such a trip. |
President Tim Seltzer reported
that the next Activities Day Com-
mittee meeting was slated for
Thursday at 7:30 p.m. in the Back
Porch Cafe.
It was unanimously decided bv
Jhe body that 10 per cent of Ac-
tivity Day's receipts would go to
"Habitat's for Humanity", a non- l
profit charity run by Campus
Ministry. * £ > -*•
A Rebecca Martin commented on
Continued on page 7

ajstudent
publication
VOL. 53 NO. 20 MERCYHURST COLLEGE APRIL 3.1981

Three Dismissed From WMCY Staff

by Donna Peterson
Three disc jockeys for the Mer-
cyhurstlradio station, WMCY.
have.been dismissed from their
present air shifts as of April 1,
,1981.
In a letter dated March 24,1981,
WMCY program director
Stephanie Hultberg informed
disc jockeys Pete McKenna,
Mike Huntoon, and Gerard Corso
that they are "not meeting the
standards and quality that Mer-
cy hurst College is trying to obtain,
here at- this station.' The
students, 'who all work on a
volunteer basis, were also in-
formed that they may re-audition
for their positions no earlier than
Fall term 1981. | * WMCY, said, "WMCY, from its
Hultberg, whose position is
work-study, stated that she per-
formed spot-checks on all the disc
jockey's radio programs and
presented each d.j. with a written
evaluation of their work. The
quality of 1McKenna's. Huntoon's
and Corso s programs had not im-
proved since they assumed their
positions during Fall term, stated
Hultberg. i march on Capitol Hill.
"I acted for the progress and
betterment of the station," said
Hultberg. "' 5 r <
The program director also
stated that she is beginning to
"crack down" on radio person-
nel, making sure that all rules
within the station are enforced.
^j Pete McKenna, ;a freshman
communications major, said that
neither he nor the other dismiss-
ed d.j.'s were warned* by
H u l t b e r g p r i o r to t h e i r
dismissals. According to McKen-
I na. word that he was fired came
to him "out of the blue". *S
"Working for the radio station
is supposed to be a learning ex-
perience where you're supposed
to make mistakes and learn from
them," said McKenna. f
McKenna stated that lie did not
feel the dismissals were justified
because Hultberg, in his opinion,
does not adequately perform her
duties as program director. Ac-
cording to McKenna, program
logs, station "promos", and com-
mercials are not fully readied by
Hultberg for disc jockey use on
the air. McKenna further stated
that Hultberg is supposed to help
the disc jockeys improve their
rograms and correct mistakes,
P
__ut she does not.^ .£ ^
Gerard iCorso, who was also
M radio sation. and show respon-
dismissed, stated that he was not
informed of his dismissal when
he arrived for his 6:00 to 8:00
p.m. radio shift on March 26.
Another disc jockey was already
at the station to take his place.
Although the letter from
Hultberg was dated March 24,
11981, all three disc jockeys said]
they did not receive the letter un-
til March 27, the day after Corso's
slated shift. £ & • id
Commenting on Hultberg's ac-
tions, Steve Curcio, advisor to
inception was intended to be a
student-run operation. That is
why Stephanie has been in-
structed with this particular
responsibility." J
The advisor also stated that he
told radio personnel "more than
once" that he was going to expect
a fair amount of improvement in
StudentlRepresents
Hurst At National Conference
M e r c v h u r s t ' s T i t l e IX
representative, Rebecca Martin,
attended a women's leaders hip
conference in Washington D.C.
March 26-29. Martin's position on
campus 'is to ensure that sex
equality is maintained at the
college. . J& -<i
Transportation and lodging
were provided to Martin through
the National Student Education
Fund and additional expenses
were shared by Mercyhurst Stu-
dent Government and the college.
The conference consisted of
colleges and universities from all
over the United States, such as
Berkeley, Radcliffe, Cornell, and
Harvard. J
According to Martin, she par-
ticipated in a rigorous schedule of
events from 8:00 a.m. to 9:30 p.m.
every day. Workshops on leader-
ship skills and ^ direct action
their broadcasts. Curcio said he
Financial Aid In Danger
also warned disc jockeys that Financial aid cuts are "immi- coordinating boards. £ £
they will be dismissed if they do nent" according to the Coalition Anywhere from 22 to 26 s state
not follow the guidelines of the of Independent i College and university systems already in-
sibility and improvement in tneir
University Student s' (COPUS). clude student representatives on
A COPUS newsletter states their boards whiles in private
programs. tnat tnfee areas o^tudem fltiSfl^ 'screws fhinlstnfIS JtisTteif HflfHg
Concerning i the accusations cial aid are in danger: The Basic to gain momentum. - \ gf
against Hultberg, Curcio said he Education Opportunity Grants Li Mercyhurst College has the op-
would look into them because he (BEOG). The. National Direct portunity to become the COPUS
Student Loans (NDSL) and the headquarters of the Nor-
does not have all the facts involv-
ed with the station. £ guaranteed Student Loans therwestern Region explained
"The- program director is (GSL). Student Government officers
under my responsibility," said BEOG predicted to lose $1.2 Rich Lanzillo and Mary
j Curcio. "I have not been made billion in funding from last year's ! Gausman. "jfc
aware of any serious problems level. This drop would affect all Lanzillo and Gausman attend-
with her performance." BEOG recipients since the max- ed a COPUS conference in York,
Another WMCY disc jockey, imum grant would be reduced Pennsylvania on March 28. They
Tom Miller, was recently from $1750 per student to $1260. were informed and instructed in
suspended from the station by The NDSL program is expected the area of financial aid and stu-
Hultberg. The program director to be reduced by $10 million. As a dent lobbying. Lanzillo explained
I imposed the four-week suspen- result, 135> thousand students may that if Mercyhurst was able to
sion because of "bad conduct in lose their funding. And the GSL organize colleges in the Nor-
the station and misuse of program could be in trouble in thwestern Region, some effective
equipment." isteg 2§ j | | that the reductions in other pro- lobbying would result. <$'
Hultberg has just hired two grams would create a demand for At press time, Gannon Univer-
new disc jockeys for WMCY and GSL funds, u !£ JJ*\ i sity, Alliance College,
is in the process of auditioning I In an effort to prevent these Westminster College and
others to replace the dismissed cuts, COPUS is attempting to possibly'Allegheny College, have
students. organize students into a lobbying expressed interest forming a
force which would eventually COPUS group with Mercyhurst.
jL. Lanzillo added that he has been in
According to Steve Siefman, a touch with Thiel and Grove City
member of COPUS, the question Colleges. "In a probability," said
of student involvement has been Lanzillo, "this is the most impor-
a "hot topic" for years.
The Higher E d u c a t i o n
tant thing we've done this year."
Bill Kennedy, director of stu-
Reauthorization Act passed by dent affairs, commented, "This
organizing as^well as panel Congress last October included a is a serious matter and it will af-
discussions about TitledIX, pro- measure creating a student posi- fect virtually all Mercyhurst
blems with enforcing it, the law, tion on state higher education students." T ** &
and how to raise money for
women's centers on campuses archaic guideline to follow and cyhurst before the end of this
were among the conference potentially dangerous." j school year. I f
activities. 2**3 Presently, Martin is working S "We want to follow procedure
"I learned how our college with other women at Mercyhurst in order to ensure that our results
compares with colleges around " w h o a r e i n t e r e s t e d in are legitimate," 4 commented
the country," stated Martin. "I delineating the rights of women Martin. J
found that Mercyhurst does not in higher education, particularly Specifically, Martin and the
stand up to any of the other col- at Mercyhurst." ? f 25 other women are working on the
leges in the area of women's Martin stated that although the area of sexual harassment at this
issues. We are really backward in conference was termed' a time. They are researching affir-
that area." y m women's conference, men were mative action guidelines, Title IX
An example cited by Martin there and \participated in the statutes, and the present college
concerns the Mercyhurst policy activities. \ '* j* f policy. Martin stated, "we are
on sexual harassment. "It is vir- t. "It is crucial for anything we also working with a surprising
tually non-existent; as far*as I want to accomplish here for men number of alleged sexual harass-
know at this time." she said. to understand exactly what ment incidents that have occur-
"From what I .understand the women's? issues a'are, said red on this campus." She added
present policy suggests that the Martin. p
i that the "names of the alleged
Student confront the person
She hopes that an effectual
harassing her or him. This is an change will go through at Mer- Continued on page 7
 PAGE 2
( 0 CO CO
o o o
0) 0) G>
The Right
I It is essential that the Mer-
cyhurst student community
realize the long range effect of
the potential financial aid cuts.
Long range in the sense that next
year only 100 students may be
able to attend our college.
•Students (and parents) must
come to terms with these
threatening budget cuts. Once
this is done both parties need to
prepare to assert their right to
funding for higher education. And
the way to do this is by utilizing
the power working as a force that
a common goal brings, s
Write! letters to the con-
gressmen involved. It will have
an effect, mure than fearing and
worrying about the future will.
Anyone interested
1 in applying for the
1981-82 position ofv
Merciad Editor
should submit their*
letter of intent to the
newspaper office
(Box 45) notlater than
I April 10.
Letter Of
IntentiFor
Student \
Government
Officer
ElectionsJ
Due April 6
at 5:00 p.m.
THE MERCIAD APRIL 3,1981
C CJC
(i) CD CD
EEE
letters\fo The Editor
Ministry Sponsors Workshop H ForEgan scholars
EEE
o o o rag
Dear Editor: MR I Jgt gp, - S Wfik JEl Student 1 4
o o o assistance
The Reagan administration is engaged in massive military
to the military-civilian junta in El Salvador. Many
religious leaders around the word have expressed doubts about
such a policy. These Christian and Jewish leaders contend that the
Expresses
struggle in El Salvador is over internal injustices and not a battle
Thanks I
To! Aid between Russia and the United States, as the U.S. State department
contends.\ .,&-> sBt B To t h e M e r c y h u r s t
' ''. jf 1 V* ^
m In the past year more than eight thousand people have been kill- Community: '•
Let the people in legislative ed, most by the military forces and paramilitary death squads that On behalf of the Egan Scholars,.
power know that students have roam the country side killing and torturing anyone who dares to I wou|d like to extend my
power too. Make them aware of speak out against injustice. Three Catholic nuns, one lay mis- greatest thanks to those people
the need for financial aid. § sionary, three priests and one Archbishoo were all assasinated who helped make Alekrandev
Involvement * in COPUS * is because they dared to preach and live the Gospel message of Jesus Zotov's visit a pleasant
nothing to sneeze at. Presently, it and the prophets. It is time for all those who are on the side of experience, |
is one of the few (if not only) human rights to speak out. j £|^ : ^3 fwould like to start by thanking
organizations planning direct ac- On Monday night at 7 p.m. the Campus Ministry office is sponsor- Dr. Vivetta Petronio and the
tion against the budget cuts. And ing a workshop on how to write letters of protest to our government. Egan Council for their hard work.
writing the congressmen will on- Come and write a letter that may help the Reagan administration Also, Sister Elizabeth Lintsen
ly aid COPUS in organizing effec- to act more justly in its dealings with underdeveloped countries of and all of Campus Ministry. Of
tive lobbying forces, i* | Central America. The meeting will be held in the Campus Ministry course no presentation could be
Students need to be aware of office.? <ran§ Siai r
- SBK§ rj ? accomplished without Sharon
the danger budget cuts will bring. Sisco and Media Services. And,
If a student is presently receiving as always, the food services of
his education withfinancialaid, K.C. and H.R.M.A. were ex-
the odds are good that next year cellent. My personal gratitude to
they won't receive anything. Mr. Richard Kubiak and Dr.
Neither financial aid nor an ^S^nLI# • v l u Q publication Mike Erisman should also be in*
education. ?$HJi £ fS eluded here. j
VOL. 53 NO. 20 MERCYHURST COLLEGE APRIL 3,1981 I was very glad to participate
Editor-in-Chief Rebecca L Martin in such an event, and especially
'$ News Editor?
• Photo Editor
$ Sports Editor
Donna Peterson 52rTW«S
/fen Fbnoren 9 N S E *
.......Michael Fitzgerald ti^^9^^E3
-
5B3S
pleased with the amount of help
which was volunteered by the
Mercyhurst Community.
However, it saddens me "very
Cartoonists «. ....JamwBofowtcj, Christopher McGowan S R w ' ^ B ^ K S*iV
Photography CoHeen Farley, Christopher Meyers S S B S R B f f f l B B E S r - much to realize once again that
Sports .j*.U»A^^ay.Taye(XColes and JackBour*^^ the majority of students, faculty
Typists Mary Cay Marchione, Valerie Meyers ^ ' l r v S S S ! K ^ * 5 i l S ^ B
and administrators are unwilling
St*11 M v «^. fit*
Faculty Advisor — ^^...Steve
Publisher .£.....:..
Ancterson,Maree4^Cto. Tony Mangef|,Chre
&>Kto^^^^^^
Brown-Thompson Newspapers
to support this college and its ac-
tivities, even to such a limited ex-
tent as attendance at any event.
onrimply returning an R.S. V.P.'
Barry J. Bernaus
SAVE OLD NEWSPAPERS STAFF MEETINGS
FOR APAPER DRIVE!! Wednesdays at
If you have any extra 4:00 in Merciad
newspapers (no I Office
magazines) to donate, |Anyone Interested
I Contact: Don in In Working On
Newspaper Is
i operations Welcome
j&fc/l no#l...ifm yzftino 4.0S m
aNmych&es, tffe £ * / fa; bee*just
-terrific, u/tctfhtts qfzaf qrsd ttyjusl O^OOAOSJ get+6 fke *fynl fco/5 fn^l
initio* ha* fcee*N
iC^^L^

VOL 53 NO. 20
Winner Announced
9
In 'April Fool Contest
Although the* MERCIAD
received a variety of entries for
the first annual "April Fool Con-
test," there was one nominee who
outshone the rest in terms of his
foolishness. Before his name is
announced, readers should
realize that by no means should
anyone try to imitate this person
at home.
This fool is trained at his pro-
fession and it is EXTREMELY
dangerous for untrained persons
to assume the role of any fool.
Fools are not rare but true fools
should be kept under close
surveillance and at, an arm's
length. | j
If a fool does something well,
even on the smallest scale, he
should be praised for it so that he
does not despair and quit all
together. Although fools provide
laughter for others they are
losers in their own right and
deserve a kind word and a smile
once in a while. *•' **
So, the next time you see our
fool, give him a pat on the back
and congratulate him for all his
fine accomplishments. So without
further adieu, here is the MER-
CIAD's 1981 "Pool of the Year":
MATT TRUESDALE. The follow-
ing are two letters submitted to
the MERCIAD nominating Matt
as "Fool of the Year."
Film For Discussion
BiologyiOepartment Garvey Plans To Wed
To Present "Ben"
The Mercyhurst Biology
Department under the direction
of Lew Lutton and Linda Lochner
will sponsor a special "Film for
Discussion" later this month.,
The film "Ben" will be shown
in Room 200 Main on April 17,
1981. The topic for discussion,
"rats" will then be led by Biology
major, Anne Marie Dixon.
Anyone with any interest in or
knowledge of rats is encouraged
to attend. Lutton also requests
mat anyone who owns a copy of
COMMUTER
A WARD
Bruce Kopal
Bob Penza
Tom Kalinzak
• •
EVERYTHING WE PRINT IS A LIE
From the first foolish nomina-
tion: "The biggest fool I know is
Matt TruesdaTe. Matt is really a
nice kid in his own unique way. $
' "He has this habit of imitating
people not only by the way they
talk but by their gestures as well.
^"Matt gets up at 7:00 in the
morning and runs with the rest of
the cross-country team. Anyone
that gets up that early to run,
rain, snow, or shine has to be a
fool. 'X
"I'm sure if you know Matt or
meet him he'll be the biggest fool
you know too."
Hie second foolish nomination:
"I have met a large number of
fools on this campus. All things
considered I feel the biggest and
most outspoken fool is Matt
Truesdale. I*-
"Mattfis a full-fledged,
bonafide redneck. He is the per-
son who believes^ in shotguns,
chewing tobacco, Iron City beer,
and Waylon Jennings singing a
country lullaby.
"Any person who can exist in
the city of Erie, and still remain a
redneck, must be a real fool.
"P.S. I feel it is important to
mention that it takes a Dig fool to
drink Iron City Beer." , *j
By the way, the prize for the
winning fool is nonexistent.*
APRIL FOOLS!!!
the hit Michael Jackson song,
"Ben" should bring It to his office
immediately. ;
"If we get enough people at the
film," said Lutton, "we may be1
able to sing a few verses of 'Ben
before and after the movie.' j
Given the nature of the subject
matter of the film, refreshments
will not be served. Admission is
free and anyone, including those
without a scientific mind, is in-
vited to attend.
*<.c*** »
PAGE 3
a foolish
publication
AN APRIL FOOLS INSERT
!
W. P. Garvey hams It for the camera with his prospective bride Molly Kohlmiller.
i
At a press conference for the
\H * ¥
e%t§&
| Bukowski, maid of honor, Alda ear. Molly tells me they have a
MERCILESS, President William
P. Garvey announced his engage-
ment i to Molly Kohlmiller,
Walker, and ring bearer, Rich nice tour of the Mayflower that
Lanzillo.
Bukowski, Kohlmiller's boss
time ofcyear." * • ? *
Director of external affairs,
secretary to Gary Bukowski of and long time steady boyfriend, i Mary Ann Daly) announced that
the Alumni and Annual Giving admitted that he felt somewhat • preparations are underway for a
office. shunned by Kohlmiller*s engage- bridal shower for Kohlmiller.
Garvey opened the press con- ment "I don't know what I could Jacqueline Howey, professor of
ference by stating, "Behind have done wrong. I took her to all Human i Ecology, will design
every great man there is a good the County Council meetings, I shower decorations and invita-
woman, and now I've got mine." even gave her a heart pin. I guess tions. Jean in the mailroom of-
He also stated that the Tate spring the better man won." fered to mail the invitations for
wedding will not in any way af- h^ Garvey divulged tentative free.
fect the normal functioning of the plans for the couple's honey- Before Garvey and Kohlmiller
college except that he will re- moon. "We decided we'd like left the press conference hand in
name Garvey Park "Molly's something with an * historical hand,, the two refused to inform
Grove." I t flavor," said Garvey. "First the press about their future plans
Before Garvey could say well head south and visit Mount concerning housing and children.
another word, Kohlmiller burst Vernon and Monticello, then we'll Kohlmiller was heard singing an
into song. "I'm sooooo happy," travel up to Gettysburg, and from aria as she walked Garvey to his
she said. Kohlmiller then inform- there we'll most likely play it by office.
ed the press that Garvey and she
had been dating since the Doris
Kearns -lecture , in September.
"We discovered a mutual interest
in History lectures and have been
attending them ever since." ;
Kohlmiller confessed that she
had been in love with "Willie"
since the Wilbur Mills lecture,
but he didn't tell her of his mutual
love until the Ramsey Clark
speech was cancelled and the two
instead attended a documentary
film at the Public Library. .,
k The wedding date for the cou-
ple has been set for Activities
Day, 1981 and will take place in
the Christ the King Chapel. The
ceremony will take place at noon
and will be officiated by George
Garrelts who was less than a tank
away* .?
Garvey and Kohlmiller also an-
nounced that the wedding party The Wedding Party, Molly and her maid of honor Alda Walker
will consist of best man, Gary" Standing is the best man Gary Bukowski and rlngbearer Rich Lanzillo
, - • • • • *» r~ • - • --' * - - «:
PAGE 4

a foolish
publication
VOL 53 NO. 20 EVERYTHING WE PRINT IS A LIE APRIL FOOLS INSERT
i

Criteria Set Forth

For Prospective RA's
Mercyhurst College has an-
nounced to dormitory students
that RA | application are now
available.
For any students wishing to ap-
ply for this position, there is a
standard set of criteria you must
be aware of. First, students must
be able to drink a case of beer in
less than one half an hour. They
must also hold at least a 1.0 grade
point average.
Dr. Garvey, the * president of
the college, also : stated that
anyone applying must be failing
the majority of their classes, if
not all of them. |
The administration is i; looking
for irresponsible and unreliable
students. They need students who
are capable of creating chaos
within the dorms and whenever
possible throughout the entire
college. j
Students (wishing to apply for
this employment, should talk to
whomever they want, whenever
they want. They should not be
prompt and should remember to
wear their grubbiest clothes that
have been lying in a pile: on their
floor for over a month. ;
They must also know how to
drool and whenever possible try
to spray it on the lucky person in-
terviewing them.- ••

Spring Fever Editorial;

One Reporter's Opinion
Once again, Mercyhurst students have been exposed to the
greater than seamier side of life. In one of the landmark
events in campus history, 'Hurst students witnessed true love Detmar Straub demonstrates the acting potential which led Dave Blanchfield to offer him a starring
blossom and build to a wondrous flowering. The wise and role in the epic production " Loaves and Fishes." '
respected president of this institution, Dr. William Garvey,
has asked for the hand of an equally admirable woman.
Miss Molly Kohlmiller, known to this author as a calm and
~ fair individual, will inherit the coveted role oP'Queen of the
college 'If you wiilftt is yet uncertain whether Kohlmiller
Numerous Changes \
and her fiance will remain in their present positions at Mer-
cyhurst. But why not? Garvey, being an adherent profes- Will Take Place On Campus
sional in all he does, would not be expected to interfere with
or allow Kohlmiller's job in the Alumni and Annual Giving of- * There will be a number of in our eyes anyway. struction will take place this sum-
fice to become detrimental to his marriage. Besides, moves to take place on campus Cusaack also said, "The fact mer and will be completed for the
students here will probably be anxious to witness the ra- beginning this spring, according that fly balls will hit the wall is no fall Crew races.
diance of the newlyweds on a daily basis. to Mercyhurst President, Dr. big deal, we're mainly a
Students should take a cue from this recent action of the William Garvey. grounder team." • # According to David Blanchfield
president. In an environment appearing to be all work and no The newly created 'Hurst foot- The basketball team was of the Campus Ministry, the new
play, this man has proven one can find love while striving for ball team will practice and hold notified today that it will be mov- stream will provide an excellent
distinction. In the wake of the college's football debut as well games on the present Soccer field ed to the old gymnasium for prac- opportunity for religion classes.
as a constant influx of unread history books, Garvey has behind Baldwin Hall. The Soccer tices and games, forcing the "We plan to stock the stream
demonstrated that in the spring, even men of his great team will occupy the Baseball women's crew team practices to with fish," said Blanchfield, "and
caliber, allow their fancies to turn to love. field to i perform all of its ac- re-locate in the Zurn Hall Student hold a mock 'loaves and fishes'
tivities, which will, in turn, cause Union. One woman crew member play."
the baseball team to hold games commented, "It's no sweat, we
Dean To Sponsor inside the Campus Center.
Baseball coach Dr. Michael
can listen to the Juke box now."
Dr. William ] Garvey also in-
"Certain members of the ad-
ministration have agreed to play
Cusack explains, the change will
"Friends Forever" Dinner not 3affect the way Baseball
games are played: "So what if we
formed the Merciless that Mer-
cyhurst is definitly going to con-
struct a stream which will run
disciples," _he continued. "Det-
mar Straub has volunteered to
portray Jesus. It should be an
There will be a special dinner don't play in the sun - it only gets throughout the campus. Con- enlightening event."
at Mercyhurst on May 2 that will
be sponsored by Dean David
Palmer. The dinner is called the
"Friends Forever Dinner" and
Plans Underway
various Mercyhurst students will
soon receive personalized invita-
tions from Palmer/The continu-
To Purchase Pano's Restaurant
ing theme of the dinner will focus Plans to buy the Pano's model the Keebler elves.
restaurant were recently discuss- Lillian Cohen, Carol Hill and
on autographed photographs ed by Tom Billingsley and John JoAnn Cooper refused an offer to
given to one friend from another. Ma us. > work in the dishroom of the
The dinner will most likely be The idea, which was originally restaurant. Jean Lavin, however,
catered by KC Foods as are all Billingsley's, is expected to be agreed to accept a position for a
Mercyhurst dinners, and is ex- funded by an alleged slush fund price. "Why not?,' she com-
pected to consist of onions and operated by Ma us. The fund is mented, "It beats Belling pencils
garlic-based foods, since, said fronted through John Nesbit's to supplement your salary, and
Palmer, "we all have to be good office. £j anyway it will give me a chance
friends to eat onions and garlic "I feel there is a great need to to apply group dynamics on my
together." * ^ & - i provide alternate feeding to the employers,"
A huge, mural autographed but she was committed to another Mercyhurst community," said
picture of Palmer is being engagement. Palmer then asked Bertha is irate at the idea. "It's
created by the Hurst Art Depart- Billingsley who worked his way just: one more thing to keep
the dinner theater group to pre- through college at a greasy clean,'' she said.
ment. The picture is signed with sent a "Walton's" skit so that the spoon. ?
the words, "Friends forever, diners could learn friendly love Louis Mennini, who has never
Dave Palmer." 4 through an actual family. Igor Nesbit agreed to front the opera- eaten in a greasy spoon in his life,
Each student at the dinner will Stalsky said of Palmer's request, tion largely because ne ate at a had no comment to make.
receive his own autographed "That is the strangest thing I've number of greasy spoons while in Donald Platte and Joy Kolb,
ever heard." college. "I think there is a real both of whom are partial to elves, Tom Billingsley
photo from Palmer and a cer- possibility for- the college to expressed an interest in the long-
tified "Friends Forever" Students will be chosen at ran- broaden its taste here."
membership card. Palmer stated dom to attend Palmer's dinner. range plans. made to change the name to
that he invited Carole King to be According to Palmer. "It really Maus, who lives on the north Billingsley added that Pano's PanHurst.
the entertainment for the affair doesn't matter who is invited - side of a tree, wants to expand should be under his personal Nesbit was heard sing "I love a
and sing, "You've Got A Friend," we're all friends." the Pano's operation into a full- supervision by summer 1981. He greasy spoon" to the tune of the
time cookie factory which would also stated that plans are being popular single by Eddie Rabitt.
 PAGES

a foolish
publication
VOL. 53 NO. 20 EVERYTHING WE PRINT IS A LIE AN APRIL FOOLS INSERT

Faculty Supplement Incomes9

Start Pen And Pencil Sale
The Mercyhurst College facul-
ty will hold their annual pen and
pencil sale this week on the Mer-
cyhurst campus.
According to faculty chairman
of the drive, Barry McAndrew,
this sale is held each year in
order to raise money to offset the
cost of faculty clothes and sup-
plies. McAndrew initiated the
drive in 1972 by selling boxes of
Fiddle Faddle. I "This did not
generate much profit," McAn-
drew stated, "so we moved into
magazines, term papers, Miss
Katy-Did : Candies, and finally
pens and pencils." f i | participating in the fund raiser
As one long-time faculty
member put it, "My pay just isn't
enough anymore. I've tried to
stretch it andfindit's nearly im-
possible. When McAndrew came
up with the idea We all said, 'Gee,
why not?' I mean, heck, I can
hardly afford my pipe tobacco
and turtleneck pullovers
anymore." K * i §)p
.' All faculty members will be
and will be visiting*the* local
plazas and shopping malls with
the pens and pencils. There will
also be booths set up at strategic
points ^around the Mercyhurst
campus. The main booth will be
manned by Bud Brown and Bob
Cisek and will be located approx-
imately 4-6 feet to the left of the
"UniFlow" drinking fountain on
second floor Zurn near •' the
Geology Department. Cisek will
be wearing a tapioca colored
button-down shirt while selling
the pens and pencils. He expects
a moderate turn-out. {
This year the pens will come in
the colors salmon, periwinkle,
and magenta and will be emboss-
ed with the words, "Take a letter
Maria." They will cost 75 cents,
although Brown said that he will
accept "any reasonable offer."
The pencils are of the basic
number two type and will sell for
30 cents. *• i
Sally Schrader has offered to
sharpen ^a 11 the pencils on, her
electronic penclf^shai'pefie'r^*
Sister Peggy Annabaldi
volunteered Punxsutawney Phil
to aid Ms. Schrader. ft-. *
Each faculty member expects
to make between $50 and $100. "I
want to go to Greece," stated Dr.
Mike Nye-Applebaum. Sister Andy Findlay with a "runaway" toddler. A good deed on Ac-
Matthew and Ms. Diane Williams tivities Day '80 * g£
have agreed to use their profits to
buy a new abacus for the Math
department.
Andrew Roth was heard
mumbling something about
P
Findlay's Follies
alligator shirts and docksiders.
Opens For Business
Top-notch tennis player, Andy Findlay, has left his position with
New Dorm| the Mercyhurst tennis team in order to begin his life-long dream of
opening an amusement park for toddlers. f
Pictured is Findlay with an unknown child who recently visited
Planned For "Findlay's Follies," located near the Sesler parking lot. Findlay is
shown'here operating his "Manual Scrambler." -f **
«"5P

Hurst Campus Findlay's former doubles partner, Ravindar Sabherwal, is "miff-

ed" bout Findlay's actions. I don't see why he would have to give
me up for little twerps like that. I'm fun." J s- ^
There will be a new dormitory Faculty member Andy Roth stated, "As Andy's advisor for his
on the Mercyhusrt Campus next Communications major. I'm pleased that he is moving on to the
fall, according to housing direc- area of business as an entrepreneur." I
tor Phyllis Aiello. The, building So far, "Findlay's Follies" is a one-man effort with Findlay offer-
will be named O'Connor Hall and ing roller coaster rides, a water ride, a "bouncing bassinet" and an
will house only men and women eating pavi'llion serving a daily special, "Enfamil-on-a-Stick."
athletes. £ ^Se*
The dorm will be built adjacent
to the Campus Center to provide
easy accessibility for the dorm
residents. |
Applications for residency in
the dorm will be accepted on a
rolling basis: Those students who
WANTED:
can roll the longest: will be ac-
cepted first. There is, said Aiello,
a limit to 50 students for the new
dorm. |
Unused Class Cards
Mike McQuillen joined the ranks of faculty She added that the rolling pro-
selling pencils in order to make a decent wage. itcedure was being used because Submit td
is the only rational alternative
"I need more * money than most," said Mc- to the point system used in the
past. "I can't wait to get things
Quillen. He explained that the umbrella was a rolling,"
DaveiThomas. *

she commented. Con-

Mr. French imitation to give; him an air of struction will begin immediately.
Those interested in
respectability.**The guitar," he added, "is for dorm may contact Aiello atliving in the Minimal Fee Offered
hire" I t home, h * i
 PAGE 6

z a foolish |
\

\
publication
I
EVERYTHING WE PRINT IS A LIE AN APRIL FOOLS INSERT
VOL. 53 NO. 20
I

New ....,,-
Courses
Offered
A new course has been a dded to
the Mercyhurst curriculum for
the 1981-82 school year. Accor-
ding to Dean David Palmer, the
\ course information is as follows:
Course Title: Intro, to In-
tramural Academic Subterfuge t*
Course Number: SOC. 4.00
Course Description: This course
is designed to prepare the college
student to "beat the academic
system." It offers 10 weeks of in-
tensive in-field experience, dup-
ing which the student is required
to achieve a 4.0 grade in at least
one of his classes by means other
than academic proficiency. The
student must use one of the
following guidelines to complete
the 4.0 effort: , \&Bi J~
1.) Athletic priority scam:
Under this method, the student
achieves 4.0 status» in the
classroom by making a case for
his/her invaluable status in a
team sport.
2.) Ethnic-pull contract: This
method (designed to treat
minority groups equitably) re-
quires the Italian student to
achieve his/her 4.0 by having an
uncle with a violin case persuade
the instructor administer * the
desired grade. *T
This course is offered with the ad-
vanced student in mind. As with
all upper level courses, evidence
that the student is familiar with
his/her material is required.
Simple cheating or plagiarism
will not be accepted as fulfillment
of; the academic subterfuge
experience.^,- gk Garvey Models HBp||§
Genetic 1981Attire\M | 1
At a board of trustees luncheon and card party today at Mer-
Deformity cyhust College, Dr. William Garvey, President of the school,
modeled the 1981 graduation attire. J I ,r, % jj$
Garvey is pictured above posing for the women in the quiana and
Former Merciad Advisor Steve Curcio has reportedly undergone
metamorphisis and is now applying for residency at the Erie Zoo. Discovered velveteen caftan-like robe. Garvey also donned a mauve-colored
scarf around his neck and the traditional black cap with a multi-
A new genetic discovery was colored fringe attached. « £ Sfog s - '
made in Egan Hall recently. Ms. The women oohed and aahed at Garvey as he paraded up and
Beth Ann Paletta, rumored to down the modeling ramp. • %- f:' ~ SBprre
have abnormal hearing ability,
I
has come "out of the closet" with
Findlay Follies her deformity.
"Actually, I just thought my
floor was too loud," stated Palet- Soccer Team Enters
ta who is a resident assistant in
Apply now for summer!! Egan. "Now I know that I have
what is known in the medical
world as Hawkears." j ?V
Breakfast Contest
The Merciless has 4 found The Mercyhurst College soccer team will enter the Kellogg's
through extensive research on stick up for Breakfast Contest. • SEE L %
the-subject that iPaletta's pro- The contest is held in order to encourage people to eat a daily
Now Accepitng Anyone who blem is not uncommon. It is suf-
fered by many R.A.'s throughout
breakfast. The team has chosen to make the college community a
Gala Breakfast in order to publicize the contest.
Tenants For knows of a the country. The deformity
results from listening to noise
This breakfast of the champions will consist of wheaties with
bananas and pure cane sugar. The featured breakfast dish will be
after quiet hours and complaints blueberry wheat germ muffins stuffed with loads of vitamin C and
Bilid win I teacher § before quiet hours about how un-
quiet hours were yesterday. *
There are some warning symp-
E. Orange juice and gatorade will also be served.

Gardens accepting bogus toms to the disease, all of which

are suffered by Ernest Magaro,
Diane Pettula and Tim Weeks.
Contact thef (class cards Paletta, who pretends to be a
crayola crayon when she is not on
office oi% should contact: duty, says there are some hopeful
cures, f "You can always write
external affairs people up," she advised. "It helps
Len Cyterski create tension and people don't
bother you aa much.
APRIL 3,1981
MSG Cont.frompage 1
her recent four-day trip to the Na-
tional Women's Leadership con-
ference. According to Martin,
leadership skills and obtaining ef-
fective administration response
were topics discussed.
"Despite the high female ratio
here at Mercyhurst, we lack ef-
fective programs for women,"
she said,forexample, the area of
sexual harassment is completely
overlooked. f $
Conference cont, from page 1
v i c t i m s and s u p p o s e d
perpetrators will not be released
by myself until a definite policy
has been established."
Hie women are now compiling
data and will present it to John
Nesbit, assistant to the president
in government relations,
sometime next week.
Father-Daughter
Weekend Is
May 2 and 3
So Tell Your Dads
If you have any questions or
would like to help contact:
BethPaletta,
Egan Hall, Rm 4 Ext. 358
or
•; Amy Gillespie,
Baldwin Hall, Rm. 236
TRADE
BOOK
M SKXX 50,000 PAPEHB ACT • t «
ALSO $0,000 come I t K
906 Pand* St.
Erte, P». 16503
• 455-8500
Bn. Daily M-feS0
imitllUMllltttttt
Junction
* T3-
T-
P -*?"
E. 38th and Pine Ave.
Whistle On Down To
TheJunction"
Saturday April 4
K-104'sDJ.D.
Alexander playing oldies
tbut goodies
plus Top 40
9:30-2:00
THE MERCIAD PAGE 7
Mercyhurst needs to set up a
««'
not only the physical acts but also
committee to hear eases of sex- general remarks in which a stu-
ual harassment on this campus," dent is subjected to sexist and
she continued. "I feel there is a stereotypical remarks by the pro-
need for this, but I don't want tofessor , explained Martin. "I
T
go about it in a threatening want to stress that male students
manner." T can also be victims." ^
Martin alleges that within 24 •* Martin stated that what she
hours of returning homefromher needs from MSG is support to go by Steve C u r c i o . A
Washington trip she was inform- about setting up such a commit-
ed of four different cases of sex- tee. The issue was tabled until the
ual harassment "The definition next meeting pending further in- This column was to have been before it destroys us. 3
of sexual harassment includes formations and discussion.. In the same spirit as other sec- Gun control is not the only
tions in regard to the April Fool's aaswer. It is, however, a start I
stories. However, in light of the have never been one to speak out
developments earlier this week, I emotionally either for or against
would feel uncomfortable writing gun control. But it is impossible
what was intended to be a light- to ignore the fact that many of
T.B. I want 21 more hearted discourse. I will have to our murders occur when such
WANTED: Two new sons: Apply save my ideas for a future issue. weapons are used. It is Just too
Laurie and Bubby, Control you in person. MOM Instead, I want to address one easy for anyone to get a gun. Un-
rubber neck at Notre Dame this FOR!'SALE:" 1973i Montes Carlo, topic. The topic is the violence in til we cure that problem, there
weekend. Have a fantastic time 350 V-B, automatic, air condition- America, Other, societies will be no possible-end to
at the formal. Anita perceive us as a bigger-happy, violence in our society.
ing, AM-FM, power steering, violence-dominated culture. It Handgun control is not the only
Louie, Happy one year. I love latest inspection, must sell. Make becomes apparent that they may cure for any problems that we
;
you. Lynne ^ offer 866-1018 v \^£ be right, world press only hears may have. It can be a part of the
the details of when a President or solution. Violence in our society
Dickie, Thanks
Gina-Happy Birthday Sis! Love my Mom. Love, Lynn mr remembering a John Lennon is gunned down in is something that cannot, be
the streets of our cities. "We, eliminated in Just one step. It will
ya, Mar : 15 however, hear of these instances take a long time, it will take
Carol R, Good luck. Hang in there day after day.
For sale Pour mags remington till Friday, VaJ > money, and it will take deter-
tires and keystone rims. Spun The question to ask is "How mination. One doesn't complete a
balanced size- F70-14 $250 or best To Oreo-Power- Did you realize can this senseless killing be stop- long journey in Just one large
offer. Call Paula Hokaj 825-6559 that when all five of us get ped?" The answer may not be step. It takes several steps, one at
easy, but there must be an a time. I submit that handgun
together we make a triple decker answer if our society is to sur- control is the first step necessary
llSMcAuley i % singlefillingoreo cookie? Part of vive. The violence so common in toward that goal of respect for
the filling r$ our society must be curbed human life. i .
GARVEY RESIGNS!!
Sealer232 C O N D E M ^ D ! F^to Anyone interested in joining a
•til i military coup effort, contact Mr
Divorce court opens at 8 a.m.
Kubiak and Dr. McQuillen
Please don't expel the editor.
Did you know the clipper galley is From her mother and father.
There will \ be a man*
datory meeting lor all
secondary Ed Majors. It
The
sinking!?! 'j
Yes, I made my mother pay for. will be neld in Room
that ad. The editor. > - » 312M on Thursday, April
2,1981 at 8:00 p.m.
Human Ecology Welcome
There will be a WANTED The following Spring Special
dates have
meeting Tuesday, April 7 I t Old Stuffed been scheduled Chef Salad
Room 131Z 4:00 p.m. (in good cond.) for Co-op Infor-
Animals, l mational I
All Invited Games & Toys Seminars: Beef Hoagie
For C.E.C'8 Friday, April 3
and Fries
9:00 a.m.
Carnival at the Tuesday,
;
April f 4
Sarah Reed 2:00 p.m. 1
Wednesday, April 22
Children's 11:00a.m. All Next Week
The Home. If you
have any, please
Thursday, May 7
1:00 p.m.
Monday, May 18
call Tonl Kalisak 6:30 p.m.
Tuesday, May 26
i. in the Ed. 10:00 a.m.
Office. * For store iafonaatioa please
contact the Career Services
Thank You! Office, 204 Old Mala
CAMP COUNSELOR
A fun experience Ail college students
Camp Swago-Camp ; eligible
Swatonah A Brother-sister camp
1410; East 24th Street Prime location on beautiful
private lake in the
Brooklin, N.Y. 11210 Pocono Mts. of Penna.
Write For Application All water, land, cultural and
social activities [ ;|
Eight week season. Room
and board plus salary
related to skills and
experience
v • » •
 /
Padre Padrone' is a powerful, sensitive and MERCY-ADS
compelling *storyc -**> lape. WAKMV &
DTR 25* for every 10 words
"This beautiful epic has poetry, power and
paSSiOn. -Bruce Williamson, Playboy
CAMERAS Submit To:
Merciad Office
720 SASSAFRAS STREET
Basement Preston
ERIE. PENNSYLVANIA 16501 Deadlines Tuesday 4:00
? '•
• 814/459-8177 •
.-:'- '>£'->
•
SPECIALISTS IN
2
EVERYTHING PHOTOGRAPHIC
• iftfe.- &
aftw
«
F*«39 EaV*
• Ektachrome 8-hour slide processing One Jack
ark • Slide duplicating
• Color negative and print process
Knife in the
• Black & white process and print vicinity of the
• Restoration and copy services girls locker
room during
winter term.
"Ask about our Introductory / — • \ If found
Photography Course" \K* please con-
—.my Father, m y Master
tact Joe in the
Precision Photo-Equipment Repairs — Photographic Supplies a film by Paolo and Vittorio Tavlani produced by R A I from Cinema 5 I Campus |
Industrial, Wholesale & Retail — Complete Rental Line
lea WED.. APRIL 8th • 7:30 P.M. 200 MAIN Center
O
en
O
SCD ft
IO
(A i i > X
to ID
3
Q.
n>
©
ft>
e~e
e
V) a
6
> 3° c
n
55 m
• o
3 ~ o
(A a «
3D
I si 00
o
o
o m
m
m
T3^
© *) C u
*5 W» T3 o~
mmmm C/i
O O -i M i l Me
3 O
3£ &>
c
CL
>
• • • <t
• o
o J3 0 3
D
• * .*
G>
A
5 *7-y.*£ * ^"
* » * f * • * •

s • *^V# '