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& Triangle
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3RD GENERATION FAMILY OWNED & OPERATED
903-356-2293 903-454-2253
8866 Hwy 34 S 3414 Wesley Street
Quinlan, Texas 75474 Greenville, Texas 75401 C sf
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200 4th Street, Suite C, Terrell, TX 75160 Quinlan, TX 75474 Computer Sales & Service
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Page 2 June, 2011 Texas Twister
HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! By Ginger Lane Lakeview Tax Service, Inc.
E-File
They say that all the ‘special days’ are
promoted by the florists and card makers. And, Federal and State Returns
they do it for the profit they make. I’m here to
say that I think it’s great! Complete Monthly, Quarterly, Yearly Bookkeeping
It makes us take just a moment in time and say Incorporating a new business
“Thanks!” I hope this will jog some memories Business Consulting
for you and a reminder to celebrate Father’s Day!
We offer:
So, thanks Dad! Free Fax, Notary, Copies
No Cost to sit down and talk.
My first memory of my dad was when
I was about 3 years old. I remember my mom Kastle Ford Kellie Poole
and sister coming into the house and they were
really scared. Seems they had gone out the back Income Tax Returns
door and there was a bobcat. My dad immedi-
ately headed out the door. I was so young, but
Kenneth A. Mertens 2701 East Quinlan Parkway
this clearly stuck in my mind as my dad being my Quinlan, TX 75474
protector. Since that time there have been many moments, memories and thankful times
that I had Kenneth Mertens for my dad.
I remember him taking me outside and kept telling me that I had left some Office # 903-447-0900
pennies laying there. I kept looking but didn’t see any money. There was a clothes pin
laying there. He taught me not to waste.
Fax # 903-447-0966
I remember when some Jehovah’s Witnesses brought some pamphlets to our Email Address: lbservicesinc@verizon.net
house, and after they left I tore up the papers they left. My dad made me tape them back
together. With a lot of tears and tape, I completed the task. He then asked me if I knew
why he had me do it. I had no idea. He told me that I needed to respect other’s ideas
and opinions. He taught me respect and tolerance.
Once he told me to paint a door on our storage building and that I had better do
a good job. I was in the house watching one of my favorite shows when he came in and
said I was grounded……for the next 15 minutes until my show was over. The paint did
not cover the door like it should have, but there was a flaw in the paint. He taught me to
evaluate a situation before blaming.
Before I was allowed to get my driver’s license, he made me learn to change
a tire and back a boat trailer. He taught me to be
independent.
I can remember begging him to ‘prom-
ise’ when talking about going on a vacation or
a fishing trip. My dad would say, “I never make
a promise on something unless it’s a sure thing.”
He taught me that his word was always the truth
and how important the truth is.
He would take me fishing and let me guide
the boat and boasted to his friends about my fish-
ing ability. He taught me confidence and pride.
He played jokes on me and taught me to
laugh at myself.
My dad is a Marine. He taught me love of my country.
He worked for over 40 years and all the overtime he could get to be a good
provider. He taught me to work hard.
My dad is a great man.
To all father’s out there……….HAPPY FATHER’S DAY! Remember, all your ac-
tions……….all your words are teaching your children.
Page 4 June, 2011 Texas Twister
Four Generations
N
To Greenville
Mini-Mall
I-30
FM 1903
Cash Water Antiques & Collectables
Tower
422 FM 1564 E
Hwy 34
FM 1564 Four
W
Reames
Generations
Mini-Mall Greenville, Tx
Market
S
To Quinlan
903-883-2900
On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a
guy leaning on a wall. He can’t believe this guy
would just stand around on the job.
The new CEO walks up to the guy leaning
against the wall and asks, “What are you doing
here?”
“I’m just waiting to get paid,” responds the
man.
Furious, the CEO asks “How much money do
you make a week?”
A little surprised, the young fellow replies, “I
make about $300 a week. Why?”
The CEO quickly gets out his checkbook, hands
the guy a check made out to cash for $1,200 and
says, “Here’s four weeks’ pay, now get out and
don’t come back.”
The man puts the check in his pocket and
promptly walks out.
Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO
looks around the room and asks, “Does anyone
INGRAM want to tell me what just happened here?”
From across the room comes a voice, “Yeah,
FUNERAL HOME you just tipped the pizza delivery guy $1,200.”
An Extensive Selection of Complete Cremation
************************************
Options A lady walks into a drugstore and tells the phar-
Funeral services (casket included) starting macist she needs some cyanide.
The pharma-
at $2475 cist says, “Why in the world do you need cya-
20 Ga. Metal caskets starting
at $375
nide?”
Children’s Playroom & Video Center The lady then explains that she needs it to poi-
available at no charge son her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes get big
All our services are donated in the event and he says, “I can’t give you cyanide to kill
of a child’s death
All prearrangements accepted
your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose
my license. They’ll throw both of us in jail and
INGRAM FUNERAL HOME all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely
Call John & Dee Ingram (Owner/Operators) not—you cannot have any cyanide!”
903-356-0700 Corner of Hwy 276 & 751 Quinlan, TX The lady reaches into her purse and pulls out a
After hours info line: picture of her husband in bed with the pharma-
469-474-9896
www.texascremationservices.com
cist’s wife. The pharmacist looks at the picture
The Ingram Family and says, “Ohhhh. Well, now. You didn’t tell me
John, DeAnca “De” &
son, Hunter
you had a prescription!”
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 5
CELEBRATING FOUR YEARS OF TEXAS TWISTER!
First and foremost, THANK YOU ALL! me that he would pay me several months would just work 3 hours a day, she would doing our 3 web sites and Suzanne Plott
It has been so much fun building this busi- in advance to give him a discount! Da- probably be spending most of it playing on doing some graphics and just about any-
ness with all of you. We are so blessed to vid’s not with us anymore. He is with God the internet or watching tv. Well, she still thing else we need.
be able to do the job we do with customers now, but for all of you who knew him, he to this day says I was lying to her, but I My parents, Kenneth and Jean Mertens,
and readers like you. was a very smart business man. And, you had no idea how much work there was to have been great supporters and believers
I have to tell the story of how all this be- will have to have smiled when you read be done. Ashley came on board full time, in Texas Twister. They are the best parents
gan. It’s a story that I hope will inspire the part where he said………with a dis- both of them in January, 2008. Misty anyone could ever have. All of this would
anyone who is going through the same count! works about 40 hours a week now, and has have never happened without them.
things that I did. David wrote me a very large check right NEVER got to even think about turning We now publish Texas Twister, Brain-
It was around April, 2007. That’s the then and there. Full of assurance that I the TV on or had time to surf the web. storm! The Paper Playground, Senior
day I actually celebrate the birth of Texas was on the right path, I went to my next It’s important to remember, I never knew Journey, Best Taste of Texas Restaurant
Twister Publications. It had been the hard- customer and sold another ad, offering a where the money was going to come from Guides (Have Ya Et Yet?), business cards,
est time of my life. I had been in the tele- discount for paying me months in advance to pay anybody. Now, Debby and Sandee project folders, brochures, chamber di-
communication business for many years and they wrote me a big check too! By the donated their time………for a very long rectories, menus, and more! It’s been
and when AT&T bought out Southwestern end of the day, I had hundreds of dollars in time, to get Texas Twister up and run- an amazing journey. We were awarded
Bell, it put an end to that career. Many sales. Cash up front that people paid me to ning, but on a weekly basis, the money Business of the Year by the Lake Tawa-
very personal factors had come into play be in a paper they had never seen before. came. Ashley and Misty never missed a koni Regional Chamber of Commerce in
in the 12 months prior to that fateful April It’s important to say that at sometime dur- paycheck. Now, they have had to stand in 2010. We are proud members of the Lake
day. I was broke. I mean broke. I was ing that day, I did call and ask Sandee and line behind me at the bank, but the money Tawakoni Regional Chamber, Royce City
about to lose my car, my house……… Debby if they wanted to do the ads! They was always there. It might have helped Chamber, Terrell Chamber, Van Chamber,
everything. Now, the events that put me were both super excited. if I had some clue as to what I was doing. Canton Chamber and the Camp County
in this position and the steps I took, I Flash forward to about 9 months later. But, I just believed, and all of the people Chamber.
wouldn’t go back and change a thing that Ashley Bain Reeder had been doing some involved believed too. Ashley left us for There have been many adventures along
I did. It was a worthy cause and it was all part time sales for me since the first month a super job opportunity after 3 ½ years. the way. But, I thank all of our customers
worth it. But, here I was driving on Hwy of publishing the paper. But, I was work- We miss her very much, but are glad for from the bottom of my heart. We pledge
276 in Quinlan…….not really knowing ing around the clock. I barely took time her good fortune. Crystal Hagewood has to try to be better, do better and we give all
which direction to go. to sleep at all. I was doing ok, but still the come on board in sales and is looking to the glory to God. Thank you all!
I pulled over to the side of the road. I money was tight. I knew I couldn’t keep build a sales team. We have Jennifer Estes
prayed. I asked God, “What do you want up the pace. I was doing almost all of the
me to do? I’ll work hard. Just show me selling, sending the ads to be done, get-
what to do.” I was there for just a few ting approvals of the ads, writing of the
minutes when I remembered that my sis- articles and delivery. Debby would go
ter, Debby Mertens, and my best friend,
Sandee Farmer, had been mentioning for
years that we ‘do’ something that they
with me when I delivered. I was so tired,
but she kept me going. Then one day I
had traded a beautician an ad to fix my
exas wister
could use their talents. They both happen hair, and as I was sitting in the chair with Published monthly by:
to be, well, nerds. They love doing graph- foil sticking out like an alien, in walked Lane’s Texas Twister
ics and computer things. Not me, I know Misty Hensley. She was out drumming P.O. Box 493
way more about computers than I ever up business for her husband, and was so Lone Oak, Texas 75453
wanted to. But, they loved doing that kind cheerful when she walked in the shop. I
of work. Within 5 minutes of my prayer, looked right at her and said, “You need
888-355-LANE (5263)
I was putting Texas Twister together in my to come and work with me.” GOOD
Ginger Lane
mind. Now, it’s important that you know I GRIEF! Where did that come from? I Publisher
had no money. None. I was looking for had no money to pay anyone. But, I just Sandra Farmer
money to put gas in my car. So, when I knew she would be a great asset to Texas Hunt
decided to put a paper together, I was tak- Twister. She turned me down, but I was Editor/Graphic Designs Hopkins
ing a leap of faith. I had asked God for desperate for some help. I was exhaust-
Camp
Debby Mertens Rock-
wall Rains
an answer with an open heart and He gave ed. Wood
Advertising Editor
me one. I was working in about a 4x4 area in Kaufman Van
I drove straight to D Earls Tax Service. I my house. No files for my customers. Misty Hensley Zandt
went in and talked with David Earls. I told I was ‘remembering’ everything, and Office Administrator Copyright, 2008 The advertiser and/or
David, “I’m going to have this paper. I’m it was just about to do me in. I finally
going to distribute it from Royse City to convinced Misty to ride with me one day.
Crystal Hagewood its agency agrees to indemnify
Texas Twister and its staff against any
Emory. It’s going to have some articles I drove around like a crazy person, and Sales Agent loss, damages, or expenses
and jokes in it.” I had absolutely nothing after we did not even stop for lunch, she www.texastwister.us
resulting from the unauthorized
use, by the advertiser,
in my hands. I was placing them together declined……..again. However, I knew I of any name, photograph, sketch,
and opening them like a book to demon- had to have some help. I asked her one ads@texastwister.us or words which may be protected
strate a paper. Without a moment of hesi- more time. I pleaded with her to just take www.texastwister.us by copyright to trademark law.
The Texas Twister reserves
tation, David said, “I will take this spot for over some office work….. to help me get the right to refuse any
as long as you are in print.” He also told organized. She agreed. I told her if she advertisement for any reason.
Page 6 June, 2011 Texas Twister
e Oa k Wre cker I
on nc
L
.
Full Service Auto Repairs, Domestic & Foreign
Full Service Body Shop
300 Hwy 69 N Light & Heavy
New & Used
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Lone Oak, Texas Duty Tows
75453 Private
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Property
Mud Pulls
Removal
State & D.O.T.
Inspections
The goal of good dental health depends upon a person acquiring good information
to make good decisions as to how to take care of their teeth and deciding on the
appropriate dental care.
The purpose of those articles are to address different dental situations that are
necessary for long term dental and total body health.
First we must define the major causes of dental disease, tooth decay and gum dis-
ease, a “clean” tooth will never decay. Tooth decay is caused by food left on the
teeth in the presence of bacteria. The bacteria breaks down the food particles form-
ing acids that dissolve the enamel.
Gum disease is more insidious then tooth decay. Twice as many teeth are lost to
gum disease then tooth decay.
Most gum disease is caused by neglect, Letting tartar build up on the teeth over
years. The tarter build up causing destruction and gum disease. Eventually without
treatment, the tooth support is lost and the tooth will become loose and be lost
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 7
I hope all you Mothers had a “Happy Mother’s Day”. I had a great day. I got
to see both of my daughters. They are the best.
So now that we have had our day, it’s time to get back to the cooking. This is a
good, quick salad and it is Easy!
Cabbage - Fruit Salad
2 C. finely shredded Cabbage
1 - 8oz. can Crushed Pineapple, drained
1 C. Seedless Grapes
2 Med. Apples, chopped
1 C. Plain Yogurt
1/3 C. Mayo
1 T. Brown Sugar
¼ t. Salt
Combine cabbage & fruit in salad bowl. Blend yogurt and remaining ingredi-
ents in small bowl. Add to cabbage mixture; toss to mix. Makes 6 servings. We like it
best chilled for a while before serving. Enjoy!!
We should be getting some fresh squash soon. This would be a good side dish.
Stuffed Squash
3 to 4 lbs. Yellow Squash
1 small Onion, Finely Chopped
3 T. Melted Oleo
½ t. Worcestershire Sauce
Cracker Crumbs
Milk
8 oz. Cheddar Cheese, cut into thin strips. (I always use Velveeta in my cooking.
You can use the one you like best.)
Paprika
Place squash (whole) in a sauce pan, with enough water to cover. Bring to a
boil, cooking until tender; drain. Cut squash into halves lengthwise. Scoop out pulp,
reserving shells. Combine pulp with onion, melted oleo, Worcestershire sauce & 2 T.
cracker crumbs for each squash. Add enough milk to moisten. Spoon into reserved
shells.
Place on baking sheet. Top with additional cracker crumbs. Dot with addition-
al oleo & cheese. Sprinkle with paprika. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 minutes. Makes
6 Servings. Enjoy!
Pork Chop Casserole
6 Pork Chops
1- 16 oz. can Whole Kernel Corn
2/3 C. Rice
1 C. Water
1 - 8oz. can Tomato sauce
2 t. Salt
Pepper to taste
Brown Pork Chops on both sides in skillet; drain on paper towels.
Combine rice & water in skillet. Arrange pork chops over rice. Season with
Salt & Pepper. Add corn & tomato sauce. Simmer, covered, for 30 minutes or until
rice & pork chops are tender. Makes 6 servings. Enjoy!!
All these recipes would make a great Father’s Day Dinner. It’s quick enough
that it would leave you time for a great visit with your Father.
Page 8 June, 2011 Texas Twister
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer - who was not exactly the
sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.
“Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?”
“11” he replied.
The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.”
“What two days of the weekstart with the letter ‘T’?”
“Today and tomorrow.”
He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never
thought of himself.
“Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?”
Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and
finally admitted, “I don’t know.”
“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”
So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the
results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.
“It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”
******************************************************************
A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he’s allowed to say two words
every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his
two words. “Cold floors,” he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years
pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and
says, “Bad food.” They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring
him in for his two words. “I quit,” he says. “That’s not surprising,” the elders say.
“You’ve done nothing but complain since you got here.”
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 9
There are two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, and they inherit the family
ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In or-
der to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull
from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock. They
CLEANING SERVICE INSURANCE only have $600 left. Upon leaving,
Immaculate Cleaners Motorcycle Insurance the brunette tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll
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I got a chance to meet her and got first hand walks into the telegraph office, and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister
108 W Main St ( Down Town ) Quinlan
knowledge of telling her that I’ve
her great work and organizational skills!
Call her today ......... REAL ESTATE bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck
Ginger Lane, Publisher Texas Twister and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s
just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word.
WE SELL LAKE PROPERTY! After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, “I want you to send her the
903-356-4700 word ‘comfortable’.”
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Page 12 June, 2011 Texas Twister
SHOOTIN’
STRAIGHT
Terry Barber is the President & Owner of Shooters
Firearms Training Academy and Shooters Shotgun
Shack, firearms sales. He brings 20 years of law en-
forcement training and in the field experience to the
classroom when instructing the Texas Concealed
Handgun certification course or private firearms in-
struction classes.
Instructor Aaron Conway, a Gulf War era Army vet-
eran, brings 8 years of military training and experi-
ence and 18 years of private security and executive
protection experience to the classroom.
Both Texas Department of Public Safety licensed
firearms instructors have certified numerous stu-
dents over the past three years in Terrell and Dallas.
“Our goal is to train as many people as possible in
proper firearms safety. There are too many incidents
of injury and death due to improper handling and
unauthorized access of firearms and we want to do
as much as we can to educate and train the com-
munity and hopefully prevent another unnecessary
firearms related injury or death”.
Shooters Firearms Training Academy conducts two
to three classes a month at their Terrell and Dallas
locations.
Written by: Terry Barber, President & Owner
Shooters Firearms Training Academy &
Shooters Shotgun Shack, firearms sales
WORLD N
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Serving You
EE
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Since 1988
972-563-9475 of
313 W. Moore Ave Body
Suite 300 (Hwy. 80)
Terrell, TX
www.electrolysisclinic.com
Sugaring
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 13
week by more than 10% compared to the week before.
Charley away?
Usually instinct takes over when a leg cramp strikes, and
Horse! you massage and stretch the sore muscle. This is a perfect
instinct and often solves the problem. The best steps are:
by Ginger Lane o Massage the cramped muscle
o Stretch the muscle (gently!)
I want to take this opportunity to apologize to o Take a hot shower or bath to warm and relax the muscle
anyone who has ever told me they had a ‘Charley Horse’
and I flippantly said, “Oh, just take some potassium.”
I’ve said it many times over the years. I did not give
them the sympathy they were looking for.
I thought it was no big deal………just a ‘Charley Horse’.
Well, I have had my first official make you
scream in the middle of the night, help me God, call 911,
tears in my eyes excruciating ……leg cramp. I can as-
sure you that the first person I tell and they say “Oh, just
take some potassium” is going to get an earful!
This major event in my life lead me to wonder
why they called it a ‘Charley Horse’, and just how much
potassium you need to NEVER have one again. Here’s
what I found out.
The term may date back to American baseball
slang of the 1880s, possibly from the pitcher Charlie
“Old Hoss” Radbourn who is said to have suffered from
cramps.
Another story mentions a horse named Charley
that used to work at Comiskey Park, the Chicago White
Sox’s ballpark. In those days, an old, retired horse was
often called “Charlie.”
In the German speaking world it is commonly
known as a Pferdekuss (horse’s kiss), while in Denmark
it is known as a trælår (wooden thigh), in Norway is re-
ferred to a lårhøne (thigh hen), and in Sweden lårkaka
(thigh cake). In Portugal, it is known as a paralítica,
roughly translated to “paralyzer.”
I’m more inclined to agree with the Portuguese.
How can leg cramps be prevented? (www.about.com)
• Stay Hydrated
It is not well known exactly how dehydration and muscle
cramping are related, but it is known that dehydration can
predispose to leg cramps. Drink at least three full glasses
of water each day, including one before bedtime. Also
drink plenty of fluid before, during, and after exercise.
• Stretch Regularly
Stretching can relax muscle fibers. When working out,
a good post-work out stretching routine can help relax
muscles and prevent cramps. Make sure you cool down
after exercising, and do not exercise vigorously just prior
to sleep.
• Train Gradually
Gradually build up an exercise program, and try to avoid
sudden increases in activity. The “10% Rule” is a good
rule of thumb: never increase your exercise over one
Page 14 June, 2011 Texas Twister
YANKEE DOODLE? ish. There are a number of different versions, and it’s not
known which came first or when. With a variety of texts,
By Ginger Lane it became the principal American battle theme of the Rev-
olution, and eventually a greater symbol of humiliation to
the British than it had been to the Americans. Oscar Son-
neck, the great musicologist, writing around 1909, quotes
Thomas Anburey, a British officer: “The name of Yan-
kee has been more prevalent since the commencement of
hostilities. The soldiers at Boston used it as a term of re-
proach, but after the affair at Bunker Hill, the Americans
gloried in it.” www.straightdope.com
And, it is the state song for Connecticut!
The engineer replied, “But, before that, God created the heavens and earth
from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering
is an older profession than medicine.”
Then, the lawyer spoke up. “Yes,” he said, “But who do you think created
all of the chaos and confusion?”
******************************************************************
A hiker gets lost in the woods and spends the next three days wandering around with
no food. Finally, he spots a bald eagle on a ledge, hits it with a big rock, and begins
eating it raw.
A park ranger stumbles on the scene and arrests the hiker for killing an endangered
species.
In court the hiker explains that he was on the edge of starvation and had no choice.
“Considering the circumstances, I find you not guilty,” says the judge. “But I have
to ask—what did the eagle taste like?”
“Well, your honor,” the hiker says, “if I had to describe it, I’d say it tasted something
like a cross between a whooping crane and a spotted owl.”
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 17
Crabmeat Salad
Ingredients
• 1 pound fresh lump or backfin crabmeat*
• 1/4 cup plain non-fat yogurt
• 1/4 cup no-cholesterol, reduced-calorie mayonnaise
• 1 to 2 tablespoons chopped pimento
• 1 teaspoon capers
• 1/8 teaspoon red (cayenne) pepper
• 4 leaves romaine lettuce or other fresh greens
• Paprika
Howdy Texas Twister Fans, • Parsley sprigs
Hope all you Mom’s out there had a great Mother’s Day * Imitation crabmeat may be substituted
last month. Directions
1. Pick over crabmeat carefully and place in a bowl. Mix
Kids, don’t forget it’s Father’s Day this month on the
yogurt, mayonnaise, pimento, capers and cayenne in
19th.. a small bowl; toss with crabmeat. Arrange lettuce on 4
Hope and pray you weathered all these nasty storms last plates. Place 1/4 of crabmeat on each plate. Garnish with
month. paprika and parsley sprigs.
I would like to once again say a big “Thank You to Deb- Nutritional Information (Per Serving)
by”, our niece. She has been a great help to us since my Calories: 122
hubby had a hip replacement and they fractured the femur Protein: 24 g
in doing so. Guess that’s just one of the risk you take Sodium: 329 mg
when you have a hip replacement. She has been feeding Cholesterol: 114 mg
our chickens twice a day and gathering the eggs, so if you Fat: 2g
need eggs, she’s the one to see hahaha.. Carbohydrates: 1 g
Hope you enjoy these recipes..till next month! Exchanges: 2 Low-Fat Meat
Remember to say a prayer for our troops everywhere and
thank those you see both past and present for all they
have done for this country and “US”.
Till next month, God Bless us all,
auntpat@texastwister.us
Carbohydrates: 7 g
Greenville Tx, 75402 WESLEY PARKWAY
Exchanges: 1 Vegetable Popcorn, Snow Cone and Cotton Candy
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Page 18 June, 2011 Texas Twister
Everybody on Earth dies and goes to heaven. God greets them and
says, “Men, make two lines: one for those who dominated their wom-
en and one for those who were whipped. All the women can go with
St. Peter.”
After about an hour, God returns to find 2.5 billion men standing in the
whipped line and only one guy in the dominant line.
“You men should be ashamed of yourselves!” God cries. “I created
you in my image, and all of you cowed down to women? Can any of
you explain this?” No one dares says a word.
God then turns to the man standing alone and says, “Tell me, my son,
how did you manage to be the only one on this line?”
“I don’t know,” the guy replies, shrugging. “My wife told me to stand
here.”
*******************************************************
. A man approaches a very well-endowed, beautiful woman in a su-
permarket.
“I’ve lost my girlfriend,” he tells her. “Can you stand here and talk to
me for a few minutes?”
“Sure, but I don’t understand how that would help,” she replies.
“Well, it seems like every time I talk to a woman as beautiful as you
are, my girlfriend appears out of nowhere.”
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At Quinlan Learning Academy, we offer a safe and secure environment for your child(ren) to come and have fun daily. They will be enjoying their
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year, will include mosaic class, health and safety class, sculpting class, gardening, decoupage and many other hands on activities.
Some of our weekly fieldtrips will be The Science Place, and archeological dig, fun in the sun day, skating, Wet Zone and, of course, they can't
wait for AMAZING JAKES! We have so many new events and activities to offer this summer, we can hardly wait.
Oh, I can't forget to tell you about few of the contest we have. WE will be having a Hoop Shoot and our 7th annual Rock, Paper, Scissor Contest
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We hope your child(ren) will have a super fun and exciting summer with us.
Quinlan Learning Academy is also accepting enrollment for ages 6 weeks through age 13.
We offer transportation during school to Boles ISD and Quinlan ISD.
We are located across from DC Cannon at :
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Page 24 June, 2011 Texas Twister
GOLFISMS The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out the wrong golf ball.
of the tree. ~ Brian Weis ~ Jack Lemmon
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the Swing hard in case you hit it. ~ Dan Marino You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my
ball and hit it with the shadow. ~ Sam Snead My favorite shots are the practice swing and the conceded ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their
I was three over. One over a house, one over a patio, and putt. The rest can never be mastered. ~ Lord Robertson husbands work. ~ Lee Trevino
one over a swimming pool. Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew to-
~ George Brett you can keep the clubs and the fresh air. ~ Jack Benny matoes, they’d come up sliced.
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to There is no similarity between golf and putting, they are ~Lee Trevino
kill a tarantula. And I took a 7 to do that. ~ Jim Murray two different games, one played in the air, and the other *********************************************
The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart on the ground. ~ Ben Hogan Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to
never has to play the bad lie. Professional golf is the only sport where, if you win 20% the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It
~ Mickey Mantle of the time, you’re the best. reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads
Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if ~ Jack Nicklaus over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces
you’re not good at them. The uglier a man’s legs are, the better he plays golf. It’s off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the
~ Kevin Costner almost a law. ~ H G Wells rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the
I don’t fear death, but I sure don’t like those three-footers I never pray on a golf course. Actually, the Lord answers edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in
for par. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez my prayers everywhere except on the course. ~ Billy Gra- his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the
After all these years, it’s still embarrassing for me to play ham eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the
on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my cad- If you watch a game, it’s fun. If you play at it, it’s recre- ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasper-
die for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later ation. If you work at it, it’s golf. ~ Bob Hope ated. “Are you gonna play golf?” he asks “Or are you just
with a ham on rye. ~ Chi Chi Rodriguez If you think it’s hard to meet new people, try picking up gonna joke around?”
The Clinic does not treat serious illness or injury. Anyone with chest
pain, excessive bleeding, obvious fractures, or severe pain should go
directly to the Emergency Department at
Hunt Regional Medical Center.
been actively involved in the community with involve- will be a pep squad for Pre-K and Kindergarten. While we
ments in the Lake Tawakoni Regional Chamber of Com- currently offer all of those sports, soccer fields are cur-
merce as a Board Member as well as helping out with the rently under construction in hopes of bringing soccer to
West Tawakoni park committee. the area for the children soon. Donations, Sponsorships
If you would like to compare your insurance
and Volunteer help is always welcome from the commu-
The American National Bank of Texas, found- rates to others out there, contact Adam Slaughter at his
ed in 1875 in Terrell, TX is one of the oldest and larg- nity.
office in Quinlan at 903-356-6500 by email adam@cha-
est independently owned banks in the state. With assets
seinsures.com or stop by the office at 108 W Main St.
Page 26 June, 2011 Texas Twister
you’ll want to go back and see it time and memorial.
time again. Call them for more information at 903-567-
They need your donations and there is a 0657!
Memorial Shop there where you purchase
all types of military memorabilia, bumper
stickers and enjoy a visit with whoever is VAN ZANDT COUNTY
running the shop. It’s all about remember-
VETERANS MEMORIAL
ing those who have served our country and
pitching in to give our proper thanks. It’s & GIFT SHOP
one of the best memorials I’ve ever seen.
Van Zandt County Veterans Memorial Plaza
Van Zandt County Veterans Memorial Pla- WE NEED YOUR SUPPORT
is an inspiration in the works.
za is a place of beauty for remembering and
Though it’s not completed, it’s already an in- HONOR YOUR VETERAN WITH A BRICK
finding peace for those loved ones lost in the
spirational place that can give you a sense of
service of their country. DONATIONS ACCEPTED
pride and patriotism just driving by it.
Go online to www.vzcm.org. You can make a
If you are just out for a drive you should visit
donation, purchase a brick or a park bench.
this memorial site. It’s located on the cor-
You have got to see the statue of the kneeling 1200 S. TRADE DAYS BLVD., SUITE 600
ner of Hwys 19 and 243 in Canton. You don’t CANTON, TEXAS 75103
soldier that was sculpted by local artist Ed
have to wait until it’s finished even because TEL. 903-567-0657
Pickett. All proceeds go to the funding of the www.vzcm.org IRS 501(c)(3)
888-355-5263 June, 2011 Page 27
Cumby Celebrates Black Jack Grove Day on the 2nd Saturday in May
Back in the 1800’s, Cumby was known as Black Jack
Grove because of a grove of Black Jack Trees. It was
changed to Cumby Texas in 1896 after Politician Bob
Cumby.
Here’s some photos, and find out more about the history
of Cumby at www.cityofcumby.com!
Tiny Miss : Winner - Sophie Soles 8 months
1st Runner up - Brooklynn Keener 19 months
2nd Runner up - Kierstin Walden 2 yrs
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