No matter how often individuals assert that they have complete control over their beliefs and behavior,

social psychology seems to prove them wrong. The human desire to be accepted by other people influences the choices that individuals make. The explanation for why everyone seems to have this desire is divided into many categories and grouped into two areas of study, which are social influence and social cognition. Social influence is a phenomenon that analyzes the way people, or society, affect the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. Social cognition studies the way people process social information and how they apply their knowledge to social situations. The examples I provide are my experiences with these components of social psychology and serve to explore the relationship between my desires, the desires of others, and my attempt to minimize conflict by fulfilling both. First Experience Up until I graduated from high school, I would feel extremely guilty and shameful when I received bad scores on exams (bad meant lower than a B). I recall most vividly my experience in Geometry Honors, a class I took freshman year. The class was difficult for several reasons, and I had to put a lot of effort into it. I started the class with a D grade and ended with an A, but each test was a struggle. Even though I felt like I put in a lot of work studying for each one, when I did not receive an A my mother would be disappointed and for that I would feel guilty. She would clearly express her disappointment, but she would also reassure me that I was a good student and that I possessed the ability to do well in the class. Eager to prove to her and myself that the material was not too difficult, I kept studying and practicing math problems, which eventually paid off. I attained the grade that I had wanted, satisfying my mothers expectations and my own aspirations, in one way or another.

Analysis of First Experience Several properties of social influence affected my decision to pursue exceptional grades in my Geometry Honors class freshman year, in addition to all of the classes I took in high school. Principally, according to studies performed by Roy Baumeister and his colleagues, people who are most able to perceive events from another persons perspective are also most prone to experience guilt after an interpersonal conflict (Gray, 2010, p. 544). I understood that my mother, who lived in Poland for over 30 years, came from a country that had suffered politically and economically. This caused her to view education in a certain way because based on her experiences, doing well in school appeared to directly influence future successes and practically guaranteed a secure and prosperous future. Thus, every grade that I received mattered because it was a piece of a much larger and fragile picture. Even though at no point did I directly discuss this matter with her, I still wanted to make her happy, and poor grades seemed to do the opposite of that. Therefore, I adhered to her academic standard and strived to receive As in order to reduce conflict. My mothers emotions affected my own, which in turn affected my behavior (Gray, 2010). Additionally, solely focusing on my grades in high school involved social cognition. For a certain amount of time, I concentrated on getting As and nothing else. I convinced myself that that was all I needed to do. In a way, this was my way of using heuristics, or the relatively automatic process of using certain decision rules, to explain the concept of success through education. Based on what my mother, teachers, peers, and others involved in the education system said, good grades and SAT scores equaled college acceptances and that led to professional success. As stated in Psychology, Sixth Edition (Gray, 2010), a common decision rule is: if most people believe this message, it is probably true. After freshman year, when I

met more people and observed how they did in high school and college, I saw that success could be attained through more than just a good GPA and superb test scores. Through my interactions with these individuals, I encountered cognitive dissonance. The theory of cognitive dissonance states that we have built into the workings of our mind a mechanism that creates an uncomfortable feeling of dissonance, or lack of harmony, when we sense some inconsistencythe discomfort of cognitive dissonance motivates us to seek ways to resolve contradictions. (Gray, 2010, p. 505). It made me uncomfortable that there were other ways to achieve success because I had been conditioned by my mother to believe in grades. I resolved the dissonance by classifying the individuals that challenged my heuristics as artistic and creative. I classified myself as rational. Thus, I was able to continue believing in the system that my mother reinforced. Second Experience Telemarketers do not bother me very much because I can just hang up on them, and our interaction takes less than 5 seconds. Since I cannot see the persons face, I do not feel terrible about my rudeness and feel secure in the probability that I will never see or talk to them again. The same cannot be said for door-to-door magazine sellers. The last time I encountered one was a couple months ago when a man who appeared to be in his mid-twenties knocked on my dorm room. The formula he used to convince me to buy a magazine was the same one I heard from the salesmen that passed through my hometown. He began by asking whether I had just one minute to hear him out. Of course I did, and besides, it would have been rude to shut the door in his face. He proceeded to tell me his personal story and how he was trying to study abroad. Where did I come in? Well, if I bought a magazine from him he would receive points in his Communications class, which was offering a scholarship for the study abroad program. I allowed him to make his

case, and even took a look through the catalog of magazines. In the end, however, I told him that I did not have a job and could not afford to buy a magazine subscription, not even with the payment plan he was offering. This was a lie I do have a job and could have afforded a subscription, but I did not want to give out my credit card number to a complete stranger. He accepted that I would not buy a subscription and we parted ways. Analysis of Second Experience The young man used a variety of principles related to social influence while he was pursuing my compliance. He began by employing the foot-in-the-door technique, which is a form of cognitive dissonance. He only asked for sixty seconds of my time, and such a small request was not a nuisance. He seemed friendly and like an all-around good guy, no matter what his reasons for participating in what is possibly a scam. Of course the conversation ended up lasting several minutes. After his foot was quite literally in the door, his next request was for me to look at the magazine catalog. Refusing to do so would have been dissonant with my view of him as a good guy, so I reasoned that simply perusing the catalog would do more harm than good. I was not actually buying anything, just looking. Finally, he formally requested that I purchase one of the magazines. At this point, I could not play along because by giving out my credit card information I faced the possibility of having my identity stolen. If I had not known about such a possibility, however, I would have probably bought a magazine (Gray, 2010). My desire to not hurt the mans feelings is yet another example of emotions affecting behavior. I wanted him to think of me in a positive way and accept me. Human beings desire social acceptance and avoid rejection (Gray, 2010). The magazine peddler and I tried to connect with each other in order to establish a social identity, albeit with different goals in mind. I

wanted him to think that my rejection of his offer was not personal but based on financial reasons, which he could also understand as a workingman. Ideally, he would not reject me because I did not reject him, just the product. The goal was to maintain our self esteems (Gray, 2010). He claimed that he needed magazine subscriptions to win a scholarship, a desire that I understood as a fellow student. I did not feel negatively towards him because even though I had encountered magazine peddlers before, I still recognized him as a sincere individual that was maybe selling real magazines. Final Remarks Social influence and cognition caused me to believe that perfect grades and test scores would lead to success in college and then in the real world. My ability to empathize with other people made it easy for me to want to please my mother. She reacted positively to good test scores, which was tested directly by my performance in Geometry Honors freshman year. The social influence of my mother was an interpersonal phenomenon that meshed her emotions with mine and affected my behavior in order to gain social acceptance. Additionally, I was subject to the effects of social cognition through my exposure to peers that followed a different path. However, because changing my heuristic would be upsetting to my mother and would definitely cause future conflict, I resolved the cognitive dissonance I was experiencing by putting my peers in a category that I could interact with, but not be a part of. Essentially, I reasoned that it was acceptable for people to operate under different rules and still reach the same goal. Similarly, the magazine peddler and I were influenced by social pursuits. He wanted to manipulate my emotions in order to sell magazines, so he employed the foot-in-the-door technique and tried to create a feeling of social identity. I too attempted to identify with him, but this was to avoid as much conflict as possible and maintain our self esteems before I inevitably rejected his offer to

buy a magazine subscription. My experiences with social influence and cognition seem to have support the notion that humans try to avoid conflict and inevitably manipulate each other to maintain some sort of positive, ultimately self-serving image.

References Gray, Peter (2010). Psychology (6th ed.). New York: Worth Publishers.

Mothers and Magazine Peddlers: My Experience with Social Influence and Cognition

Asia Krupa PSYC 100 Keiko Kurita April 21, 2011