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of the Stage
EDITION DE LUXE
Wags of the
by
Stage
Joseph Whitton
Henry IV.
PHILADELPHIA
GEORGE
H.
1902
RIGBY
',
if-*
i i
.'
"
'
This Edition
is
limited to Hve
hundred
copies, of
which
this is
No.
Ci
'^
PUBLISHER'S PREFACE.
While the players may he, as Hamlet says, "The abstract and brief chronicles of the
time," yet they are something more.
They
idle
rise
humanity,
to
may
ones.
Many
waggery
worthy the book which Mr. Whitton has written. His half-century's intimacy
is
its
him with
the material,
zvill
and
part of this
zvhich they
be
new
may
haps, none the less pleasing in the new dress with which he has clothed it.
G.
H. R.
CONTENTS.
The Author's Introduction
Junius Brutus Booth
xi
I
John Brougham
Peter Richings
12 19
23
27
Edwin Forrest
William E. Burton
36 44
John Drew
William
J.
Florence
49
57
68
72
Barnum
80
87
91
Charles M. Barras
Edward A. Sothern
James Quin
108
121
Samuel Foote
William Wheatley and an Episode of Nicaraguan
Life
137
justly
be
called
"A
No
many
of them
upon the
Whether
the world
is
thankful for
this,
waggishness and
is
a question
has answered.
While
the stage,
humor
off of
Each has
its
record in the
story of his
life,
essential to its
completeness.
The
in the
players
whose waggery
all
is
chronicled
passed away.
fret their
hour"
upon any stage save that mysterious one where they, and all the world, must play
their
measured
part.
J.
W.
James D. Slade.
BRUTUS
Edwin. JUNIUS
was the
father of
No
way
of
endurance.
UnHke
no graceful form to catch the eye, and at the time I saw him no tuneful voice to cap-
tivate the
ear.
He was
short of stature,
with a pair of unsymmetric bow-legs, and spoke with a nasal twang tolerable enough
in
Shakspere's
gravedigger,
or
Launcelot
in
Hamlet
However,
of
it,
in
his
enough
to get a
robbed
left in
place the
twang
formidable
of
enough
genius
block
the
path
ordinary
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
were
To
the
who
mimic creations of an
They were
left
reahties;
the
why
history had
else
me
bue
he was
"Richard himself,"
may
not be strange
same
be-
It
of Richard at the
Arch
Street Theatre, in
much
the betthat
him
Richmond
shower of Booth's broadsword blows, leaped over the footlights into the orchestra, and
then fled through the audience with the an-
whack
at his brain-pan.
Though
tricity,
was
full
of eccenit
it
was
when
it
did occur
was
few
overly
He was
it,
fond of
a
fond of
like
when he had an
he
lost,
not
own
identity, but
power or disposition
gagements.
"Many
disappoint his
in
was
entirely
owing
to the
The
appointment good-naturedly, for they were already used to Mr. Booth's "indispositions,"
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
Some
years or
theatrical
managers.
He was
in
the lessee of
them
all
suc-
One was
New
York, another
in Baltimore,
in Philadelphia
At
New York
and Baltimore and then brought him to Philadelphia for an engagement of two
weeks.
cities
Mr.
possible
prevention were
gagement.
But how
to
do
it?
He
problem for some time, and the more he pondered the farther away he was from the
solution.
him by signing the pledge for two weeks? That was his first idea but he soon dropped
it.
To approach
moments with a
be sure to bruise his dignity, and so sorely that he would refuse, not only to sign the
pledge, but to play at
all.
Suddenly a bright thought struck him. Calling an attache of the theatre he said to
him
"Go round on
tell
the
back-doorkeeper that
He
in Marshall's
em-
this,
as
I
night and
you attend
faithfully
What
is
is
it?"
"It
this
after the
performance to-night,
his dressing
want you to accompany him to his Don't let him stop anywhere on the
I
way.
You understand?"
do,
"I think
Mr. Marshall."
"Very
well.
Now
WAGS OF THE
that
STAGE.
him
you saw me, and that I gave you In fact I want you to be these directions.
very careful that you don't.
to join
You
let
are simply
if it
him
him think
attend to
it."
"Mr. Booth,
will
The
streets,
at this
I
filled
when he made
him
in a
polite proposition,
Mr.
very earnest
way
as
if
they were
all this
unusual
right or
solicitude.
Whether
Cook was
wrong
In reply
to Cook's
:
offer
the
tragedian
merely replied
"Thank
I
your company."
When
rate one
third-
at the
northwest
much
bade
Cook
tragedian
good-night
and then
turned to go.
Come
inside a
mo-
Both went up the steps and entered the hotel, and then Cook, with some alarm, saw
the actor step up to the bar.
If his
alarm
was about
cals,"
it
to start
on one of
his "periodi-
was
needless.
big bowl of catnip tea; simply, have it as hot as you can make it and send it up immediately to my room."
"Make me a
Cook now
thought that he might safely leave the tragedian in the company of his hot catnip, and
"Oh
go
yet.
no,
Come
awhile."
The
Cook
invitation
was
felt flattered,
coming
did from so
famous a source.
age
Nor
up
as
stairs to his
room.
What
occurred
when he
tell,
got there
I will let
he told
ing.
it
to
in
"Now, Mr. Marshall, we had been seated the room but a few minutes when the
I told
which, as
ed.
It
was
big
bowl
so
big,
that I
thought he must have a terribly bad cold if he could swallow all the stuff it contained.
Well, he put the bowl on the table by the side
of the bed, and then, thinking
to go, I reached for
it
time for
me
my
the door.
my
hat from
'No, no,
my
Mr. Cook; this is a very disagreeable night and as you live so far down town it would be very cruel in me to
smile:
you venture out. You see I have a bed there broad enough for six people and I inlet sist
upon
it
that
I
you stay
all
night'
would; what else could I Mr. Marshall? I did n't want to offend do,
"I told
him
him, and
offend
it
looked very
if I
much
else
as
if I
would
him
refused."
"Well,
go
on;
what
happened?"
asked Marshall.
"When
That's
see that
I told
him
right.
Mr.
now
you have so much good sense. And will do all in my power to make you
to
comfortable.'
show what he
closet
Opening a
blankets
thick
and
not cold.
on the bed, although the night was We then got into bed, Mr. Booth
tea.
10
"
WAGS OF THE
'Now. Mr. Cook,' he
STAGE.
said,
dipping out
'this is
warm
I said,
'but'
'No
buts,
if
you
please,
did n't
it.
want
to offend
him
so
began
to sip
"
way
he said.
it's
down
while
hot!'
"I
down somehow,
It
and then
use.
I
go
to sleep.
was of no
began to feel very warm around the neck, and the perspiration commenced to
start
in a
my
back.
down my
have fresh
felt that
must
air or suffocate; so
little I
down
the
heavy
covers.
Booth was
n't.
'What do you mean, Mr. Cook ? Do you want to give us both our death of cold ?' Then he pulled up the covers and leaning
over dipped out more of the catnip which he
swallowed
down,
and
again
filled
the
in
my
if
He was
believe
way
to
do
it,
he
it
my
Now, Mr.
catnip tea
emptied into a
up,
man may
at
be a good
it
;
thing to
did
n't.
warm him
Just
if
he needs
but I
look
my
condition.
However,
that pass.
What
watch
I
want
to say
in
now
is
this:
When you
to
are
]\Ir.
again
need
of
somebody
you
in
am
John Brougham.
^'npHE
genial
John!"
his friends,
So
was
he
named by
and he had
a host of them,
who clung
to
him
in his
sake him
when
and want.
Then
it
was
Poor John
of infinite
fellow
jest,
was.
bubbled
from
continuous
sparkle.
He
excelled
all
humor and
jeu-d' esprit.
ing.
in the apt
and
prolific
use of the
But
his forte
was speechmakelse,
RS
JOHN BROUGHAM.
which
to tickle the ear of his hearers in
I3
and
set
them
roar.
emergency and
No
every
embarrassing stage
actor
knows
that
could
an "emergency"
in
how
gracefully he
Here
is
an instance:
one of his
own
He was
in
and
one of the scenes, having a long speech to make which was full of sentiment and
pathos, he
all
commenced
to deliver
it,
and with
In the
very middle of
when
beginning to
sniffle
and reach
his friends,
handkerchiefs, one of
zeal
with more
14
ence
WAGS OF THE
harcllv
STAGE.
knew which
shadowed
still
his
Then he
flushed
stooped, picked
up
have ap-
many
occasions and in
many
characters,
your hands.
For
this I
thank you.
I
But
am
at
have said or
done to-night
to deserve this
ever, before
it
your disapproval or
insult.
I
Howdeem
we go on
I
a duty
which
owe
myself {weighing
it
in
I 'd
!"
The
try
it
again
were
completely
and had
listened
breathlessly to his
tion,
sham
display of indigna-
now
of laughter, that
JOHN BROUGHAM.
Here
is
15
and that
He
friend
"Come
to see
in here a
if
want
I
the overcoat
in
ordered
is
done.
my
I
nate.
to-morrow
pocket of
in
some other
They went
"Well,
it is
and
it
longer
be a
clerk
than
ordered
it;
however, that
is
may
The
good
fault.
Where
bill,
your
bill
?"
presented the
dollars,
the
when the
proprietor stopped
him
Brougham."
"A
I
it?
Yes, I
see there
It is
wanted
it."
l6
WAGS OF THE
"I don't
STAGE.
mean
that,
Mr. Brougham.
mean
made
a mistake in
the price of
The
bill
am
very
have
I
n't that
'11
much money
about me.
However,
tell
may
the
do.
The
coat
is
about that
much
too
of
it
and
call it
square."
The
"Oh,
pass;
Let
it
make up
the
$10
in
Brougham and
Before he reached
that he had forgot-
a thought struck
him
and
ten
something,
it
turning
back
:
he
whispered
ordered
yesterday."
One more
we have
JOHN BROUGHAM,
the morning's rehearsal of
actors,
it,
I7
one of the
who was
came
to
face saying
"Mr. Brougham, I can't do this." "Can't do what?" asked Brougham. "Why, this business of William's which
'Enter Wil-
little
slipshod in
it
construction.
that
However,
to
doesn't
mean
"I
you are
know what
it
the difficulty?"
actor,
"Why,
life; I
my
Then
it
is
high
whispered something
in his ear.
The whis-
l8
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
Ham's face proved that the noiseless words must have conveyed to his understanding all
the
information
it
needed.
When
night
farce
much
believe that the swallowing of had been the occupation of his nightcaps
life.
PETER RICHINGS.
From
Mann.
Peter Richinprs.
was
a great
PETER
named
Park
old-time playgoers of
New
York, as
first-
In the
of the of
he was a
member
Old
the
E.
A.
Marshall.
This
theatre
was
demolished
Broadway near
company Quaker
Worth
of the
City,
Peter
New York
of
its
to join the
Walnut
and
all
ago
at least those of
must remember
Peter.
How
could
they
of his
to
20
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
He was
one.
That
to say, his
humor was
of an
moments
would be
at a loss to
As
man
He was
always
severely
He
all
so,
and
looked
for
with
whom
of
he came in contact, and the slightest breach it, which an ordinary straight-laced man
would overlook, Peter could n't nor would n't tolerate. Hence some of his friends in a
spirit of
tilio
him "Punc-
Peter."
it all,
But, with
ness.
If
enough
and thus
in the
to
them
it
with
PETER RICHINGS.
into
if
21
recipient
"taking
his
medicine" as
meekly as
giving
it.
One
and
night at the
the
Wahiut
Street Theatre,
during
performance
of
Robert
Macaire with Peter as the hero, a young couple, occupying one of the lower private
boxes, displayed
more evidence of
affection
than was consistent with Peter's idea of propriety. They were not within view of the
audience but were plainly visible to those on
the stage.
man
evidently
Now,
newly-married
one
would take
his
kiss.
is
not
yet Peter
was shocked.
kissing
sidered
spoil if
Not
that he
thought their
sin,
was an unpardonable
it it till
but he con-
they kept
And
he resolved to
tain
tell
them
When
act,
the cur-
dropped on the
to
first
and without
or
waiting
divest
change
eye
of
his
dress
even
to
his
Macaire's
conventional
22
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
and tapped lightly at the private-box door. In a moment or two it was opened by the
Peter, in
"Pardon me,
my
dear
sir,
we
can't
keep
our
It is
sir
besideswe
contrary to
don't do
it
ourselves!"
Mann.
BLAKE He was
him
"light comedian"
his
younger days, and a very good one; but as the years crept on they piled the flesh upon
until at last
he became so corpulent he
was forced
to
abandon the
line
of light
In certain
Heads
and Young Hearts, and Old Rapid, in A Cure for the Heartache, he had few, if any,
equals,
and
his
not quite, as
Harry
Placide.
Some
slipped
years ago
the
exact
my
recollection
Blake
year
has
gathered a
24
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
intention of playall
the principal
of the
best talent
each and
while those
up a
cast.
He
given,
pany, in
which
to
city six
performances were
houses.
I
and
wretched
was
long
my
have
empty boxes." At the close of the performance Mr. Blake stepped before the curtain,
uncalled for. and
made
it
a speech.
It
was
one to
those
fall
from the
of a manager to
with their
:
at-
tendance
am
last in
Love.
Before
we
we
be
become
theatri-
may
2^
acting.
Fearing,
however,
may
Doom,
bid you
a long farewell."
To
would
be drawing
it
and
if
its
have
to
let
hissed
the
maker
of
it.
However,
that
way
There
were more people behind the curtain than in front of it, and Blake was just the man,
and just in the mood, to marshal his stage forces and hiss the hissers out of the house.
The
front
his
last
time
saw Blake
alive,
was on
He was
seated at the
window
mouth, a palm-leaf fan in each hand and a big tumblerful of something standing on
the window-sill.
to
that
26
WAGS OF THE
"Why, Rufus,"
I said,
STAGE.
"don't you
is it
know
not
this is
mid-summer ?
How
you
're
out of town?"
"Out of town ?
it
Great God,
my
boy,
is n't
He
his
brow,
the
among
easy
chair,
stirring
with his
palm-leafs.
EDWIN FORREST.
From
the collection of
James D. Slade.
Edwin
Forrest.
ON
a
the
list
the
if
As
man
to surliness,
among
of
it
his
and had made many enemies profession, and more of them out
as a
placate.
But
it is
wag
that I
now have
that line
I
and he was apt enough in to deserve the space and the record
think
The
reader
may
it
Macbeth
his
high
of waggery.
Yet he
is
not the
to
do
it
28
raphy has made a note of it and would have been neghgent if it had n't.
stories told of
For-
waggish tricks, but I have learned, and from the lips of the tragedian himself,
that the majority of
fellow-actors.
I will
now
give
is
not of
it,
for
was the
when
assist-
and where
occurred, and
my young
the
Forrest
launched
shaft
of
waggery.
tragedian, during his rehearsals,
The
in
was
exacting in
one he
many
insisted
no
noise, nor
One morning the rehearsal of King Lear was under way and had progressed as far as the fourth scene of the third act, when the
EDWIN FORREST.
29
sound of squeaking boots caught the ear of The boots had passed from the Forrest.
lobby of the theatre through the stage door
and were leisurely taking their way along the passage back of the wings and toward
the rear of the stage.
was
John McCullough and had reached the mid"Edgar" dle of one of his mad speeches when Forthe
rest
"Hold, one
moment, John,
you
please.
We
will stop
have to say."
McCullough paused long enough to permit the squeaking to die away in the distance
and
then
took
it
up
Edgar's
speech
off:
thy
,"
when
Forrest
again
shoes.
Listen
I will
give
any man
dead or
who
will bring
me,
However,
as
30
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
gedian told McCullough to finish his speech and, when he had done so, went on with his
"Why, thou own, giving the opening line wert better in thy grave," with forcible emphasis, and with a scowl in the direction
:
if
he were ready to
their
owner
into
other world.
I
my
assistant
who,
boots
asked
it.
him
if
he had anything to
do with were
his
He
"Then,"
said,
to
go behind
While there
is
is
certain
that
it
he
up,
if
possessed
plenty
of
it.
muscle to back
And sometimes
it
did, or he thought
did.
EDWIN FORREST.
3!
In his impersonation
so far as
me
none of them
my
found
enough delight
its repetition.
Let
me
of his muscle.
In one of the
New York
also
theatres there
for
his
was
once
an
size,
actor
remarkable
for
his
pygmean
ability
and
pygmean
"My
He was
devoted
worshiper of
played an
Forrest, and,
whenever
the latter
engagement
at the theatre,
never failed to
bore the manager with a request to cast him in some little part where he might have a
During one of the tragedian's engagements, the little actor he was not
Forrest."
five feet in
came, height
if
as usual, to the
32
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
What
if
it's
"Oh, any
little
part,
only a
line,
where
can be on
in the
Forrest."
"Well,
don't see
how
and stay;"
up
the
The
cast
corners
manager's mouth.
"Do you
Lucullus?"
"Lucullus?"
"Yes, Lucullus, in
"I
Damon and
I
Pythias."
don't
know;
never
saw
Damon
cast
played."
"Well,
for
I'll
give you a
It
is
show and
There
you
the
part.
short
and therefore
is
there's not
much
it,
to study.
some
business in
with
it
when
little
The
seemed
was
the
delighted, especially
at rehearsal
when
renowned tragedian
interest in
to take so
much
showing
him what
to
do and how
to
do
it.
EDWIN FORREST.
33
"You must
will seize
when you
get through
trance."
"Is that
have to do?"
but
I
"Yes, that
it
Remember, when I take hold of must give yourself up entirely to you, you
enough.
me."
When
the night
came the
little
actor took
in spotless
wings dressed
tunic.
had gotten through tolerably well with what little he had to say in the first, second and third
acts
tights and a
Roman
He
in the fourth.
When
it
go on came, he walked on
his cue to
and
everything
went
Damon
away
until
as
if
"Where's
my
Damon
it
way
to get
would be
like a
34
in the air,
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
side,
it
and
down on
his feet.
But
was
Again he
seized
one swing into Tartarus," he whirled him around in Indian-club fashion, balanced him
in the air a
moment, and then flung him out through the first entrance and into an imaginary Tartarus in front of the prompter's
box.
wind enough
his
get
on
his
feet.
One
of
brother
him
up,
last
dear fellow, at
You have
exactly,"
Not
Tom.
I
and
Forrest, in the day of his prime, and before the gout got the upper
hand of him,
was
eaters.
EDWIN FORREST.
35
down at "Bring me a
sat
a table
and
beefsteak."
was
his order,
and
he gave
it
in
"What
go
go
for
If
you don't
you and
in the world."
The darkey
with the order,
left,
it
for
one" which he placed before the tragedian. Forrest turned the steak over on the plate
with the fork two or three times, examining
it
closely.
Then he handed
he
said,
it
back to the
waiter.
"Yes,"
"that's
what
is
I
all
want;
right;
that's beefsteak.
tell
The sample
me some!"
William E. Burton.
is
had a sharp
in
all
my young
others of
leads
victims
me
to join
an
Amateur
Dramatic
Association.
The
was the most pretentious one of its day, and named the "Boothenian" in honor Some of its members, of the elder Booth.
latter
who
it,"
afterwards
good
actors.
Whether
any
of
are in the
maw
of "devouring Time,"
am
The
week
during the winter season and that each member should be entitled to a night, choosing
the play and any part in
it
that he preferred.
AVILLIAM
E.
BURTON.
James D. Slade.
From
the collection of
WILLIAM
E.
BURTON,
37
There was no charge for admission to these performances. The pubhc were invited to
gram modestly
And
Whether the
"treat"
but as
it
cost
to gulp
down with
was
Of
my own
say
nothing.
half-century
since then,
them now causes a tingling blush to mount my cheek and a cold shiver to crawl up and
down my back-bone. What has all this to do with the subject of my chapter? Have patience, reader, and
you
will
know.
the
Among
members of
the Association
fvH(
38
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
whom we
other
I
recognized as
was,
or
I
What
his
name
When
his
it
name
was
so,
saying
"it
it,
He
insisted
head before
or a
behind."
Percy had plenty of ambition, there was no doubt about that, but it had a streak of
tragedy running through
nately,
it
which, unfortu-
Nature could
n't
diameter
the
except
like
at the knee-caps,
sugar-bowls.
But Percy was no fool. He knew that Nature had either made an oversight in the shaping of his legs or else had intended him
for
an
English
snipe.
Yet
he
did n't
despair.
said, "I
should
WILLIAM
like
E.
BURTON
I
39
you
to be careful.
the natural
beauty of a fellow's
the curves a
little."
leg.
Just soften
down
in
Whether
"softening
the
costumer
succeeded
down
isfaction, or not,
it
was
there, for,
when-
they
Whether Percy
this
of
something which he never divulged. One night, after one of our performances,
it,
is
he called
to
make
a bold
stroke?"
"A
bold stroke?
In what direction?"
I shall call
if
on Mr. Burton
he won't give
me
40
WAGS OF THE
"That
is
STAGE.
wish
night
you
luck.
Let
me know to-morrow
it."
how you
succeed in
manager of the Arch Street Theatre of When I saw Percy on the Philadelphia.
following night he told
Mr.
Burton
and but
me
he had called on
stop;
we
will
let
own words
me
him of
on the
my
determination to earn
my
living
stage,
and that
would
like
him
to give
an opening
at his theatre.
He
eyed
me me a
to foot
thought
saw hickory wood all day long for ten cents a cord. I told him I did n't think my perseverance would stand a strain of that kind.
T suppose not,' he replied, 'and there may not be much glory in being a good woodsawyer; but, as you tell me it is a living you are on the lookout
for, I
"
can assure
WILLIAM
E.
BURTON.
4I
than
they
are
let
However,
of
their
this
own.
speech
Hamlet's,'
the
book he
commencing with
I
'To be or not to
be.'
I flatter
don't
the melancholy
If
Dane nobody
you remember I played the part not a long while ago, and though the audience did n't seem to see the novelty and
beauty that underlaid
part, that
my
conception of the
I
was
was
with
not
obliged
to
furnish
them
brains."
"Of course
I
mind
that
go
on with your story." began the speech with what I thought the proper emphasis and intonation, and had just reached the end of 'the thou"Well,
is
heir to,'
when he stopped me
"
that
It is plain
it
in you, but
will
42
take a
little
it
bring
"
out.
How
'About one
year,' I replied.
"'Only one
though
now,
I I
year?
Wonderful!
Well,
cannot give you an opening just can give you a bit of good advice
which
will cost
you nothing.'
"I thanked
tinued "
'Go
home
study
Take
Read
the
his
Hamof
carefully,
and
weigh
his
first
sense
may
last
Ponder over
words the
thing in the
take
morning.
After
breakfast
him
up
again and digest his lines until your dinner hour but be careful to make that meal a
;
light one;
an overloaded stomach
is
apt to
'"Is that all. Mr. Burton?' " 'Yes, I believe that is all.' "
'How long am
to keep
up
this study
?'
WILLIAM
"
'Well,
let
E.
BURTON.
43
that
me
see
think
ten
years ought
that time
is
to be sufficient.
At the end of
at
you will be, unless my judgment fault, what neither Mr. Booth nor Mr.
"Here he broke
he showed no sign of continuing it, I could not help asking the question 'What will
:
I be,
Mr. Burton?'
a look that seemed to have a good
it,
"With
deal of pity in
replied
:
he handed
me my
hat and
"
seen
John Drew.
Philadelphia
years
theatre-goers
ago,
of
ALL
alive,
forty-five
cannot but
management of the Arch Street He was the father of the present Theatre.
in
the
popular John
to
fallen heir
enough of his sire's genius to make him one of the most distinguished stars of toJohn, the elder, was a comedian of great
day.
versatility.
In
light,
low,
or
all
eccentric
comedy
his
impersonations
artist.
bore
the
touch of pathos
stamp of an
If a part
demanded a
Irish
enough
to
of the audience.
In private
life
social,
unassuming
actor
and
open-hearted.
No
needy
ever
JOHN DREW.
From
the collection of Charles N.
Mann.
JOHN DREW.
45
They say
it
that every
man
has
any
knew
that
John had
unless
were
his
heart.
However,
that
it is
now wish
was
and
at
in this
character he
in
quite as
much
home
any of
his others.
One
night, while in
his dressing
room
at the
Arch, he told
me show how
man named
Allen.
When
manager had an unimportant part and nobody else to substitute, Allen was taken
from
to
fill
and put
in
company named him "Dummy Allen." Now, Dummy was afflicted with a nondescript trouble in his speech.
It
up the cast.
Hence
the
nick-
46
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
changed the form of his IM's and N's and tumbled them out of his mouth in the shape
of B's and D's.
He was
deafer.
speech might
would be more
likely to hear
it
than
Dummy;
ordinary way would have brought him no more information than if they had been
uttered on the other side of the Atlantic.
How then
a
fixed
In
He
ceased to
to
move
Dummy
these
go ahead.
Of
course
little
drawbacks
of
to stand in the
they
did n't
compel the
cast,
al-
manager
though
to leave
policy,
JOHN DREW.
It SO
47
of the
company
in
in
the
Dummy, and
in
which the
latter
The
speak and these were in answer to a speech of Drew's. Dummy stood watching his
master's lips and waiting patiently for them
through with their work and settle down. But they seemed determined not to
to get
settle
down.
Dummy
enough
to take his
the
An
reigned
and
latter
wondered.
Then
hiss
from the
warned the wag that he must put an end his joke and let the play go on.
to
When
wonder
at
they
were
n't
both
off
the
stage.
his
:
recovered
from
48
"Johd,
was
dadb lawg
member
of the
Arch
Street
pany under his brother's management in Frank is still living and still play1853.
ing,
and
't
would be hard
to find to-day a
Wri.I.IAM
J.
FLORENCE.
James D. Slade.
From
the collection of
William
J.
Florence.
would be
ITprofession
natured
fellow
that endeared
or out of
it,
more goodFlorence.
than
was
Billy
him
to his friends
and
his
their
Yet, with
all
good-
anything that had the savor of bulldozing. How he treated the latter, when he ran up
against
it,
illustrate
During one of
his
engagements
in Phila-
and
as
happens at gatherings of this sort their devotions at the festive board were not over
until
left
sometimes
So,
when
Billy
return to the
bosom of
his family,
and that
50
He
was
these
the
above
Seventh.
Entering
let
he
him have
a room,
and also
to oblige
him with
a single-bedded
The
rected
and
di-
calling a servant
him
to
"Show
Florence
followed
the
servant
up
three
flights of stairs
and then
in
before a room-door
key.
which he
his
The
door, however,
it
was not
locked,
and when
was opened,
in a
found himself
me
room
ter
to myself.
However,
it
does
n't
mat-
Light the gas and you may go." Billy took off his coat and vest, put his watch and pocket-book under his pillow and
much.
then sat
down by
the
side
of the table,
Ten min-
WILLIAM
iites
J.
FLORENCE.
5I
"When
Hght?"
With
plied
:
Another ten minutes, and again came the voice from the other bed, and gruffer than
before.
I'll
find
way
to
make
you, sir!"
Now
ners,
Billy
from the grum occupant of the bed would have quickly accomplished what his bulldozing was not
and a
destined to do.
"You'll find a
way
to
I
make me?
Well,
my
friend,
go ahead;
it I
have changed
till
my mind
The
and
shall let
it
burn
morning."
fellow
jumped from
52
WAGS OF THE
pugnacious
his
STAGE.
some
method
demonstration
friend
of
the
to
gruff
would adopt
However, instead of
operablack
with
churlish
all
snarls
and
innuendos,
head of
"I
Billy.
know
you,
sir.
You 're
no better than
for.
Did
n't
you
my
You
know
you, too
fit
By the way,
my
pillow
you splendidly.
Might I ask who's your tailor?" Without giving the comedian the desired
information,
his
surly companion
finished
him with
more
serious effect
upon
his
up the corners of
mouth.
Taking
off
WILLIAM
J.
FLORENCE.
53
now
where he lay but a few minutes when the door of his room again opened and
got into bed,
the hotel clerk entered.
"Mr. Florence,
ing you
this
I
made
a mistake in giv-
room."
If I
"Yes,
remember
rightly I paid
have
to
you for a room which I could myself, and instead of getting it, you
in
gave me one
"I
company with
sir,
is
a bear."
am
;
very sorry,
but there
a
that I
made
airy
the
blunder
fine, large,
room
down on
have
if
you
"
this
one
as
suits
me now
the
enough.
Besides,
my
friend,
from top
cruel
to
to toe, don't
you think
fine,
it
would be
airy
large,
room on
The
clerk
situation.
However,
of
crowing
54
WAGS OF THE
"Hello, Billy
is
STAGE.
that
you ?
did n't
know
did
night.
What room
possible?
So
it
was you
that
created
all
there
was any
the creator of
By
the way,
my friend of the fuss?" "Who is he? Well, I will introduce you to him. He professes to be a great admirer
is
who
of yours."
"Admirer of mine?
gular
night.
way
However, you may introduce me." The introduction took place, and afterBilly
if
wards
ances
and
his bear
became acquaintwhich
his fel-
not friends.
is
There
one joke of
Billy's
it
than
is
usually found
in
The
Fifth
Avenue Hotel
New
that
If
York was
and
his friends
in his leisure
moments
it
was here
to find him.
WILLIAM
J.
FLORENCE.
55
in
it
any
other barber shop than that of the Fifth Avenue, nor from the hand of any other barber
who had
it
for years
removed
It
his
when
needed removal.
was a
could scrape
it
off
it.
had been out of town for a couple of weeks, and on his return he sought the
Fifth
He
knight
of
the
razor
with
the
inquiry:
"Where's Fritz?"
"Why, Mr.
all
Florence,
about
it.
Poor Fritz
dead."
"Dead?" echoed
know he
to
was
sick.
When
did he die?"
"Day
scription
before yesterday.
He
is
be
we
wreath.
Could you
give us a
help?"
56
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
"A
from
that;
little
help?
Certainly."
said
Flor-
pocket-book,
if it isn't
he
added
"Take
call
and
on
me
for more."
]\Ir.
"Thank you,
quite enough.
you have been so liberal, won't you kindly suggest an appropriate motto that we can place inside
the wreath?"
Billy's
face,
And now,
now
"
!'
'Next
to
his
answer the
journey to
call
No
traveler returns."
"Mr. Jones."
was not
swer JONES
withhold
his
name, but
it
will an-
my
for
purpose.
charitable
His
real
one
reasons.
Time,
life,
down
and
questionable
bones to
waggery should now cause his blush and turn, uneasy, in their
I
narrow bed.
At
'50's
Jones
a
speak
the early
Street
He was
fellow,
foothold in no other.
stage for years, yet
He
was
still
on the bottom
was content
to
He
tion
of
"second
walking-gentleman"
and
58
WAGS OF THE
to take
STAGE.
hand
at
"general
week not
long as
it
was
satisfied.
However
were two
once did the
did
its
ambition
and
his
different things,
latter rebel.
owner tumble
it.
The
reader,
if
may
in all
unstarched glory.
It
was not
a favorite
it
was a
and a
the
ultra-impecunious,
His washerwoman
him have a
stitch of
it
<<,
59
until
The
situation
was
desperate.
He was
in
it
cast in the
and
he had some he
love-making
to
do.
Now,
was well
audience
aware
that
tolerate
no
discriminating
would
his
aware that an apologetic explanation of his washerwoman's cruelty would not be likely
to
mend
and
matters.
man
around
his
He
eyes
told
me
sharp
of
the
audience
would
not
forcible than
have
was
needless.
the
"fake" as
of the
made
60
a
WAGS OF THE
STAGE,
little.
He had
good deal
to say in
it
was
with
n't
all
sang-froid
of
a millionaire.
People
who do
But whatever
pass
his
it
was
that enabled
him
to
counterfeit,
his
invention
turned
Never afterwards
washerwoman's
collar.
The
having no
some enterprising
it
became a standard
institution.
The ingenuity
a fellow-actor
of Jones, however,
was not
instance,
For
asked him
if
he could
little
suggest a sclieme
in
that
would put a
money
both their
pockets.
"A scheme?
one
Yes,
blab."
"mr. jones/''
"Blab?
you; does
6i
No, not
it
if
you take me
in
with
take
much cash?"
it."
"Not a
what
your scheme?"
"II
"You
"Certainly;
've
world by the eyelids long enough, and will do anything that promises a square meal
oftener than once a month."
"Well,
listen.
You know,
suppose, that
making
do
wigs?"
heard
so.
"Yes.
I 've
What
's
that to
with it?"
"Everything,
my
in
I
dear
this
fellow.
French
like
:
wigs would
cakes.
sell
country
is
hot
Now, what
propose
this
You
all
the
does
n't
matter
;
then
you are
to
"
"Hold
up,
said
any cash."
Sam,
62
WAGS OF THE
"Will you please
tell
STAGE.
me how
else,
man
can
without paying
them.
scheme.
in the
That
is
another
beauty
in
my
them
You
"A
cargo of francs?"
dull of comprehension.
;
country
frogs' legs.
Don't
Sam
to
know what "a Frenchman would Nor did he wait for Jones have." plain how he could get a "cargo of
legs" without paying for them.
frogs'
So much
and
now
his
let
us turn to a
more
vicious sample of
waggery.
the ballet girls belonging to the
Among
company was one on whom he had fixed a matrimonial eye. The girl was possessed
MR. JONES/^
of
63
his
friends
very naturally thought that these lay at the bottom of his attachment. But rumor
fact,
was not
ferent nature.
right.
And
patch up
his impecuniosity,
discovered in some
way
a
that
in
savings-bank.
little
He
thought
it
was
snug
would be
to
her.
And
so
he did.
did
the
few months
hundred.
four
Then
it
marrying
to
his
charmer
if
way
remedy the
And
he
64
column of one of the daily papers "Whereas my wife, Lucy Jones, has
:
left
my
provocation,
persons
are
cautioned
I will
my
account, as
or
my own
at
T. Jones.'^
observes
"We
wink
wags
too
at."
but a fourth-
or
worse and
held an humble
a
position in the
man
devoid of education.
his
He was
as
looked
upon by
on
if
fellow-players
shrewd
theatrical critic;
when he gave
it
his opinion
as sound,
and
were
was deserved.
They were
way
of bringing
it.
it
in
"mr. jones/'
be apt to get something
of
treating
these
65
else,
and
his
method
undeserving
lift
ones
was
pecuHar.
up his victim's vanity to a giddy height and then drop it with a thud that usually knocked the bottom out.
He would
One
him:
''Well, Jones, I
had a
difficult part to
play
to-night.
the
What do you
said Jones.
so,
tell
think of
"It
my
conception of it?"
was extraordinary!"
"I
am
for
you
can-
understand
didly, did
Now,
me
well?"
my
but dd
Here
is
dropping process
to the
66
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
company and Tones was not long in finding out his weak points and taking his measure
for a
joke.
Jones
could n't
it.
newcomer was
full
of
When
in
the
green-room he would stand before its mirror, and devote his time, between the calls,
to
legs.
Jones
tell
their
owner so should an opportunity come. It did come. His victim was standing in the
wings one night waiting for his cue, when Jones, who was not far away, burst out with
a flash of admiration, seemingly intended for
whom
he had
"What
has
!
man
for-
make
his
tune."
The owner
am
too inquisitive,
Mr.
you must
n't think
hard of
MR. JONES.
me, but lay the blame where
67
it
belongs.
No-
of
tell
yours
without
being
inquisitive.
me, sir, do you pad?" Pray With a look of pride and a smack of
isfaction
sat-
in question, the
victim replied
"I pad?
sir;
What
a question!
No, indeed,
not I!"
I
"Well,
thought not;
but"
mark
that
you ought
re-
H.
L.
Bateman.
BATEMAN,
in
life
he
gave up the
stage.
He was
and Ellen.
celebrated,
As
them without an engagement. Their reading was faultless, their knowledge of stage
business phenomenal, and, taken altogether,
their acting
was such
rise
predicted
the
The
prediction
Kate had grown to womanhood, her father saw that her talent
one of them.
for the stage
When
her,
and
at
star.
He
devoted
all his
H.
L.
BATEMAN.
69
making and managing of her engagements and no manager could have been more
shrewd.
As
man
best
and un-
He made
at Niblo's
have her make her appearance in any of the old plays he determined to have a new one
written expressly for her.
New
York Express, being the author. The title was "Leah, the Forsaken," and
proved a great success, adding to the already established fame of Kate as an actress,
as to that of Niblo's.
I
manager, and one evidence of his shrewdness was that he never allowed the audience to
pass over his daughter's acting without applause,
70
WAGS OF THE
it.
STAGE.
thought deserved
Applause
is
the pabu-
lum
artiste,
Bateman.
was
his
custom
to seat himself
his eye
when
the proper
moment came.
I
was
in
in the
when he
came
and
sat
down two
or three seats in
tall
it,
front of me.
He
he sat waiting for his daughter to make her entrance. Directly behind Bateman sat a
gentleman from side
who was
to side in his
endeavor to get a
high hat
in front of
him.
dodging was
in a
fruitless
"Won't
I
you
to take off
your hat;
can
scarcely
see
anything."
Bateman looked
and quite as
sir;
round
politely
replied:
"Certainly,
with
pleasure."
H.
L.
BATEMAN.
a
71
very remarkable
in its quality
stiff,
and quantity.
of a
manner
to excite
it it
was
possi-
was, to ac-
commodate
it.
After nodding pleasantly to his petitioner behind him, and removing his hat, he ran his
fingers,
his hair,
with an upward movement, through and then bent his looks attentively
on the
then he
stage.
felt
accompanied with another request from his polite friend behind him
:
"I
am
very sorry,
sir,
to give
you so much
now!"
in
the
box
office
I
know who he
is
is,"
he
replied, "but
!"
do know he
Sam. Hemple.
was a Philadelphian, and,
in the
SAM
City play-
goer of twentv-five or thirty years ago an ideal low comedian. That was not
only their opinion but they were sure of
it.
"Burton?
our
What
is
Sam ? A
As
for
square mile.
is
right.
it,
It
so
will leave
Although was low comedy yet he did venture to stray from it, on one or two special occasions, and enter the solemn domain ot
his line
turn
my
attention to
Sam
alone.
tragedy.
Now,
to look at
have to
SAM HEMPLE.
From
the collection of Charles N.
Mann.
SAM IIEMPLE.
73
His body was shaped hke a football and underneath it was a pair of legs so short that
they seemed to have been driven in by the
solid
three-hundred
pounds
of
pressure
above.
He
when he
had played Falstaff several times and did he had all the needed flesh withartificial
and when he
"What
I
a thing should I
!"
the
and knew what he was talking about. have mentioned that it was on a special
and
this
around for
He knew
that his
friends, as well
took a benefit,
them.
On
Sam
me
74
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
five-dollar
I
package of
to
was expected
I
make
and do anything
to
him one day that I thought his benefits were coming rather close together. "Close together?" he echoed, "Twice a year do
you
low,
I tell
is
you,
my
dear
fel-
when
little
man
the
owner of
half-a-
dozen
his
coat-tail
come too
close together."
benefits that
I
par-
The walls of the whole ticularly remember. city and its suburbs were thickly plastered
with huge posters announcing the event two
weeks ahead.
when
they came
"Balcony scene
for
Juliet,
Sam Hemple,
Romeo."
'Twas indeed
SAM HEMPLE.
likely to
75
prove a
little in
the road of
Romeo.
But confidence
plenty of
can.
it.
is
everything and
Sam had
I
I
"Play Romeo?
The
intend to
show 'em."
;
Thus he
"Shaksperean annotators,"
who
insist that
when
comprehend, he
to say
something
else,
old-time
compositors
scholi-
would n't
ast,
him.
Now Sam
was no
to
was.
But, "to return to our mutton."
When
the night
on the balcony scene, there was a tremenous burst of applause. Juliet stood there with her gaze fixed lovingly down on her
his body, as
76
in
it
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
acknowledgment of the applause. When ceased Sam turned around and lifting his
his lines
menced
"See,
!
how
O
I
He
:
stopped
then went on
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head, As is a winged Messenger of Heaven Unto the white upturned wondering eyes Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him.
When he bestrides the lazy-passing clouds, And sails upon the bosom of the air."
went smoothly. Then Juliet begins to grow inquisitive and asks a question which her Romeo is not as yet prepared
far all
to
Thus
answer
Romeo?"
Sam
and cast them inquiringly over the parquet and around the tiers of boxes, as if he thought
it
SAM HEMPLE.
Then bringing
Juliet he spoke
"I'll tell
:
JJ
back again to
his
eyes
to-morrow's sun I'll know What now is hid behind the veil Of secrecy. This seems a goodly house And on the boodle's count I hope to show Good cause why I to-night am Romeo."
Ere
set of the
her.
How
pounds
?
was
it
to
know.
Tell
"How
me and
wherefore;
The orchard
Sam was
the text.
"
So he changed the
o'erperch
Might do for common Romeos; but I That am not shaped for perching walls
nor made
For sportive
tricks"
78
WAGS OF THE
Here Sam struck a
STAGE.
snag.
He
found he
was getting
he snapped
Romeo mixed up
the
with Richard
at once
and wound up his information in pure prose. "Well, Miss Juliet, as I don't want to keep
you out
cold,
all
I'll
Shakspere's
Romeo
of
my
Oh
no
If I
of Cupid's wings to
lift
you wouldn't have seen day. I found the back gate open !" Sam's versatility and ambition, it seems, didn't end with his performance of Romeo.
On
pooh
pooh
me
Charlotte
is
Cushman once
said
Shakspere's
female
its
characters,
and
no
grown
too old to
look
I
it.'
don't dispute
That was Charlotte's opinion, and it; but I intend to show the
SAM HEMPLE,
public
79
it.
can do with
to 'grasp its underlying can bet your bottom dolsubtlety,' but you lar, if you have one, that I will give 'em
may
be too
young
more
money than
their sweet
p. T.
Barnum.
says, in his
book of "Forty
"I began the
at
with
If this be so
to doubt his
nothing
and
barefooted
actor,
al-
us he
to
him
in the
Taking
and
feel
justified in
list
giving his
name
a place on the
in its
wags.
started his life as a
Barnum
showman
in
who was
de-
p.
T.
BARNUM.
James D. Slade.
From
the collection of
p. T.
BARNUM.
8l
Washington.
or not
made
to be
the father of
country.
Barnum was
believe the
the Prince of
Humbugs
Showmen, and
if
we
are to
man
himself.
This, however,
was
no discredit
showman's
is
chief
duty,
as
well
as
his
policy,
to
their
to
do both.
He
had
n't
business before he
saw
that they
had a rav-
Well,
I'll
give
it
to 'em fresh
he
did.
He
from the griddle !" And scoured the world for his hum-
bug, opened a
museum and
filled it
with the
of the globe
which the unsophisticated public believed that Nature had been guilty of. Such a belief was a cruel slander
on the good Dame.
It is true,
freaks
82
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
guilty of doiiig
sibly,
mermaid bv
sewing the
tail
her monkeys.
showman had
delight in riding
It
one
convincing speeches
in its favor.
temperance
ging" he called
to cause the
"the
it
He
rum-swig-
vigorous enough
stick to his
all
moderate drinker to
were
at the bot-
tom
of them.
The
may
was somewhere
New
Barnthe
whom
um was
repeated
one, began to
demands of
p. T.
BARNUM.
83
creased salaries.
To
form a "Union," which they did under the title of "The Board of Associate Managers of New York." They
cessfully they decided to
now
cries
felt
more
increased
they
would
a month, or oftener
its
occasion required, in
rooms
at the
Met-
ropolitan Hotel.
managers and nothing was omitted that would tend to cater to their ease and comfort.
At
room was
a recess,
damask
indicated that
and goblets, and tumblers; all of which however timid a New York
in
manager might be
some
things, he
was
84
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
enemy
in his
mouth"
was present
at
ings, as a
who was
there,
unable to attend.
I
Barnum was
to
also
and
was curious
know how
the
upon the contents of that recess, and how he would conduct himself after the Board had
finished
its
labors and
was ready
to take a
spiritual rest.
My
curiosity
had
n't
long to wait.
The
Board hurried through its business, which was not of great importance, and then all
the managers rose from their seats and start-
ed in single
said
all
file
should have
but one.
Barnum
the
Perhaps,
under
circumstances,
he
tem-
thought
perance orator.
there he
sat,
Then
tone
p. T.
BARNUM.
85
"Come, Mr. B'arnum, drop your coldwater notions and join us 'for this occasion
only' in the frivolities of life."
Barnum
but
saw
which the other managers were standing. Then the entertainment began. All had filled their glasses, except Barnum,
looking on
in silence, but
who
stood
with no indication
bibulous use of
that he intended to
make
"You
me
to
But the showman gently pushed the decanter aside and said
:
"Excuse me, Mr. Wallack. You know my record, and I am sure you will respect
my
intention of keeping
it
up.
It
has been
the boast of
my
life
that
my
lips.
Be kind enough
to turn
your
backs!"
86
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
And
they
turned.
When
they
still
turned
empty,
and whether
it
else
during
was out of
all
their sight,
none
Now,
the
know
of those managers
may have
been regarding
but
glass,
my own
his
He
had worn
and careful of
its
on the
I
tail
of
it.
The
saw
in his eye
was never
ers,
though
flection
And
he sold 'em.
Charles
M.
Barras.
day,
yet
he was by no means a
bad
actor.
in this
Eccentric
comedy was
his line
and
popularity,
not of fame.
He was
the
added either
one
to his
fame or
While
was
be-
ing played
height of
Here
to pur-
sunrise,
one of these
"Can
I see
is
Mr. Barras?"
I
"He
in
bed now,
think."
88
"Well,
WAGS OF THE
I
STAGE.
must
see
him
at once
on a matter
If
you
enough
to send
till
up
for him, I
he comes down."
Now
out of
He
be
was fond of
it
To
nap broken
in
halves
to.
was something he
However, when he
gentleman was in the parlor waiting to see him on "most important busi-
was
told that a
I'll
be
down
directly."
and with
his
wrath
walked down
stairs
parlor.
"What
ing
His greeting of the manager was warm. 1 do the d you mean, sir, by haul-
me
Is the hotel
on fire?"
"I beg pardon, Mr. Barras; I
was most
wanted
to be sure of catching
you
in." in bed, I
"Catching
me
in?
Catching
me
CHARLES M.
suppose you
B ARRAS.
89
mean.
Well,
caught
me
there,
Play
it
where?"
"Oh,
one."
in
any
city;
Barras' wrath
now began
to cool
not be-
cause he
"Well,
are slim." a
paper,
let
me
see;
your chances,
over
I think,
his pocket
it
eye
and
mumbling
"New
ton,
St.
New
Orleans,
Minneapolis,
Mobile,
I
is
Cincinnati,
Louis-
ville,
Pittsburg,
Omaha
Memphis,
sir;
Rich-
stop
am
very sorry,
every
I
a moment,
am
90
wrong.
I
WAGS OF THE
have one
left,
it
STAGE.
and
since
you say
may
himself that
"What
ras?"
is
the
name
of the
city,
Mr. Bar-
Folding up his paper and returning it to his pocket the Crook's author replied,
"Sitka."
of Sitka
now
consists
principally of
I
don't think
in the
much
interest
Black
Crook.
bid you
good morning."
"Good morning, sir," and Barras went back to his bed to mend his broken nap.
"
"
'"-
-^'.
.^!' tf - 1^
'.
.-
4fl
Edward A. Sothern.
had no equal as an eccentric nor had he any as a wag, were Brougham. At one time it
SOTHERN comedian;
unless
it
was a matter of doubt, with the friends of both, which was "the verier wag o' the two ;"
but the verdict was finally rendered in favor
of Sothern,
who
His waggery, however, differed materially from that of Brougham. John's humor was polished and his jokes so
"Prince of Wags."
full
fell
upon
their vic-
self-esteem.
it
Ned's
waggery had no
His jokes were
practical.
need any.
type
of
the
practical
painfully
always had a quiver full of the sharppointed shafts and he shot them out without
being particular
He
whom
all
or where they
hit.
Friend or foe
't
was
the
same
if
to
Ned.
He
would
sell either,
although
he had to choose
Q2
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
if
you're
not permitted to
his
argument,
that he
and
all
know
making
this friendly
They
all
thought that a
warm
so warm, indeed, that waggery; and it when he found that one of his jokes had
did
his
own was
filled
he had sent his victim a sop to soothe the jar. These sops were generally in
rest until
my
innumerable enough to rim away with Sothern's money almost as fast as Dundreary
brought
it
in.
meekat-
tempt to
their
retaliate
by doing a
little
of
it
on
own
account.
so apt at selling as
best.
we
follow
EDWARD
A.
SOTHERN.
93
word
or
as an actor
and how he
came
The year
but the
my memory
'T
day of
to
it
way
make
memorable.
first
came
into the
world on the
Sam
!"
boy when the desire to be an actor sprouted in his breast and soon crowded out the growth of other aspirations. His
yet a
father,
He was
who
fession, pleaded
argument
He
wished to make a preacher of him or a law"No, Dad," he yer, but Ned was stubborn.
said, "1
worse lawyer.
be an actor or nothing!"
left for
"Dad"
let
way.
94
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
few years passed and then we find him a member of an Amateur Dramatic Association.
Of
this
particular star"
mean
its
tragic star.
it,
As
for comedy, he
for he
thought the domains of Thalia were too cramped for the spread of his genius. Mel-
pomene was his chosen Muse. mount her broad shoulders and
to carry
He would
trust to her
top-
round of the Thespian ladder. A strange hallucination; and equally strange is it that
many other
started
upon their career, confident that Nature had cut them out for tragedians, and
like
Sothern
treading
stubbornly
the
wrong
It
in the
budding years
of
his
Well,
"You no man
in-
can
EDWARD
dinner
a
is
A.
SOTHERN.
95
always
in his pocket,
when he needs
the
dinner, what's
the
use
of his working
for it?
No,
my young
friend,
money
to
is
If
it,
have
any of
to
that
is,
if
become
a great actor."
bit of advice
It
This anomalous
was
was of
that easy-going
and
lets to-
morrow
take care of
itself.
He
had some
When
his
"millstone" had
shrunk to the
size of a shilling,
he thought
he was properly cocked and primed to start on the theatrical road to fame, which he did
by joining a company in a little country town. Here under the name of Stuart he
played a variety of parts, proving that he
possessed remarkable versatility
if
not ex-
traordinary genius.
After
few years'
he
experience
to
on the
English
stage,
resolved
come
to
0)6
known
to oiir theatrical
appeared in this
retaining his
name
of .Stuart.
On
his
opening night,
He was
not discouraged
faith
his obstihis
nate
perseverance, and
in
own
New York
Barnum's Museum.
down with
Lester
Wal-
lack's
company.
He
remain-
ed with Wallack for several seasons, and then signed a contract with Laura Keene,
whose theatre was then on Broadway. This was the break 'o day for his fame and fortune,
to
him
in this
way
EDWARD
A.
SOTHERN.
9/
to
During rehearsal one day Miss Keene said him "Mr. Sothern, I am about to ask
:
what
is
it?"
I will
"I
am
in a
quandary.
Next week
would
like
in it,"
have no
home and
you know
to-morrow."
Now, Tom Taylor has written many good plays, but "Our American Cousin" is not
one of them,
be
the
chief
Asa Trenchard
character,
is
supposed to
while
Dundreary
which the author has given him and which Sothern was not slow to see would
add but
actor
little
unlucky
whose
told
would be
to speak them.
So he
98
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
am
I
I to
do?
do not wish
I
to
my
do hope you
oblige
me by
part."
Her
plea
that the
I will oblige
you and
Name
in
a dozen
if
/hat
is
it?"
I
like
the lines
and
suit myself."
If I
may
you
put
your name on
And
ity that
he did rewrite
life
it.
He
filled
the vapid
part with
and
tion of his
fame and
fortune.
Of
course,
wag
gery
we
nat-
wag-
when he drops
his profes-
EDWARD
sional
did.
I
A.
SOTHERN.
QQ
he often
work
to indulge in
it.
And
friends.
Billy
inti-
waggery
and,
an
victim
who
To
do
this
required
abundance of good
article
nature,
to
meet
One
told
me how
jokes
in
such an
unctuous
way
for
"Yesterday morning." he
said,
"I
was
awakened by a loud yelping and barking of dogs in the street, and directly in front of my
house.
I
jumped out of
window
sash,
my
say a strange
lOO
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
crowd, for every man and boy had a dog under his arm or else was provided with a
basket piled up with a
litter
of pups.
have
my
day, but
never a one that could boast of a greater variety of the canine tribe. There were pugs and
poodles,
setters,
spaniels
and
collies,
pointers and
rat-terriers
and
skye-terriers,
mon-
there
whelp or a
"As
put
my
'Here he
Mr.
Florence;
the fellow
you are
turned round to
window by
it
'Can
all
you imagine,
this?'
my
meaning of
"
to
'The meaning? Yes, it is plain enough me; this is another of Ned Sothern's
jokes.
And,
look, there he
is
himself!'
EDWARD
A.
SOTHERN.
lOI
without a smile
on
his
face,
country clown.
he stared at
to a
me a moment, and then turning boy who was holding up a yellow cur
approval,
I
for
tell
my
me,
is
my
?'
lad,
who
and
who
fist
who
is
shaking his
at us
"
Billy Florence,
morning
"
some
dogs.'
'Oh,
is
'He
tired of acting
and
is
dog "Then
walked
"I
that
business.'
with
glance at
me
leisurely
down
the street.
was curious
had drawn such a crowd, and picking up the morning's Herald found this one
among
"
the wants
'The advertiser
is in
want of
number
102
Dog
my
residence
in the
morning
J.
until three
''
W.
Florence.'
would
one
On
buying a file. As soon as the clerk approached, Sothern saw a chance for a joke, and he
couldn't resist
it.
"What
clerk.
is
it
"I
want
said Sothern.
to a bookseller:
if
"Oh, I'm not particular about the binding; you have n't it in calf, cloth will do."
"But
I tell
"we
don't
sell
books."
Well
it
does n't
EDWARD
matter whether
dozen.
it is
A.
SOTHERN.
I03
in four
it."
volumes or four
Let
me have
Clerk
(still
tell
you,
"No, you needn't send it home. up and I'll take it with me."
"Sir," shouted the man, "don't
that this
is
Wrap
I tell
it
you
sell
a hardware store?
We don't
it
books."
"Oh,
don't care
will
in.
Brown paper
do
grandmother uses to wrap up her pickles." The clerk was now convinced that his
queer customer was either very hard of hearing or a lunatic
;
and, as he
was rather
was the
in-
dif-
him wait on
a crazy
man.
The
proprietor
"What can
an equally
file
Sothern, in
104
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
n't
seem
to
understand me.
thing?"
"Certanly, sir," said the proprietor, and
file.
Then he turned
to the
:
clerk, with a look of pity and a side-speech "I think the crazy man is on the other side
of the counter."
friend.
upon the credulity of the New Yorkers, and they were not a little curious to discover the
father of
B'iglie
it.
It
was known
as the "Professor
all
the features of
being
brain.
He
but
his
friends
They were
satisfied,
was disposed
to be, that
no other wag than Sothern could invent a joke that would befool so many Gothamites.
It
containing
EDWARD
A.
SOTHERN.
105
enough innocent creduHty to feed upon. But it did find it and in this way. In all the
daily papers, and in flaring posters, the fol-
Flight Extraordinary
now
across the ocean, and there is a flattering prospect that we will soon be able to fly across it, and in a much shorter time than it now takes steam to
transport us.
The undersigned, after years of study and experiment, has invented a means of navigating the air. He uses no balloon or other gas-filled machine, but
wings his flight after the manner of a bird, and quite He will give an as safely, and nearly as swiftly. exhibition to-morrow, at ten o'clock precisely, taking
his
flight from the top of Trinity Church steeple, across to Jersey City and back. He expects to make the round trip in less than three ininutes.
swallowed
o'clock a
it,
hook and
all.
Long
before lo
crowd began to gather in front of the church, and when the hour arrived for
the professor's flight, that part of
Broadway
I06
top
expecting every
his
moment
see
"flight extraordinary."
But he did
n't
emerge.
quarter of an
in the
crowd shouted,
"The professor
is
crowd were
to rush.
in
Some
some
in another, until a
them of
their
doubt
It
"First of April."
really astonishing to find
was
They
were there on business, and judging from the way in which they hurried into the various shops and brokers' offices, maybe
they were.
Anyhow,
if
ous enough to dissect the professor's signature at the bottom of his advertisement,
EDWARD
A.
SOTHERN.
I07
Sothern
died
Edward
H.,
as a
James Quin.
of the famed actors of the English
ONE
century,
Falstaff
stage, in the
was James Quin. He was the great of his day, and greater in the part
But Quin was
an epicure and a wag. He was ever ready with his sword to resent an insult, and, in
consequence, had three encounters
in
two
It
faithful disciple of
the
Roman gourmand
that he declared he
would be content
to follow
on a
can
He
we
by what him-
has told us
"Oh, that
my mouth
were
JAMES OUIN.
JAMES QUIN.
109
and the
river ran
Burgundy."
Another out-
we
find in
Albans
''Oh plague on Egypt's Arts, I say Embalm the dead On senseless clay
! !
Rich wines and spices waste Like sturgeon, or like brawn, shall
!
Bound in Which
"Let
lie.
me embalm
turtle fat
With
Than Humphrey's Duke more happy Embalmed alive, old Quin shall die
A mummy
As
is
ready made."
sometimes the case with epicures. Quin was an expert cook. He knew how to utilize the resources of the cuisine, and could
turn out a
a Savarin.
new
dish with
all
the ingenuity of
this.
Among them were many slaves of the table, like himself, and when they heard of one of
his kitchen novelties they never let
until they
him
rest
had wormed the recipe out of him. His home was at Bath, and he often delight-
lO
name
One
in-
Siam/' the
him from
the East.
and began,
for the
as usual, to besiege
recipe.
treaties.
their en-
He
while those of the other sex had to be content with a blunt denial.
The Bath
boii-z'iz'cmts
With
and day
day flooded the actor with anonymous letters, the burden of which was made up of praises for his "Siam." and reminders of the
injury he was inflicting upon humanity by
withholding from
it
the recipe.
Quin suspected
JAMES QUIN.
Ill
was
to
to
them
tliat
he
had
invented
another
dish
and which, he
He
also promised to
its
recipe for
preparation,
Of
was gladly
ac-
cepted.
The day came, and when all were new dish was brought
short speech
let
is
me
say
so well
set
known
to
me
that
would
it
n't
venture to
were of extraor-
dinary excellence.
I call
'Puree a
la Calf,'
it
and
so pleased with
no longer
in
your recollection.
12
WAGS OF THE
sorry to say,
I
STAGE.
am
am
little
under the
Now, gentlemen,
was unanimous.
for your
verdict."
The
vowed
verdict
They
all
com-
pare with
it
"You
You have
new
inin-
deed surpassed yourself with your vention and made us forget the
'Siam.'
promise."
pulled out his tablets and
asked
Quin.
"Why,
"I
don't
promise."
His guests, however, were not to be put off so easily. They locked the door and
told
him
would
n't
leave
the
room, nor
his
deemed
recipe.
JAMES QUIN.
With some stammering and a good
"Well, gentlemen,
fault,
113
deal
my memory may
insist that I
be at
the
it
made
promise,
suppose
shall
have to keep
Here
but
is
please
don't
interrupt
first place,
me
until I
am
through.
old boots
In the
take a pair of
and
of
soles
warm
and chop them up into fine particles, like mincemeat; then throw them into a copper
kettle,
adding the water in which they were soaked, also some sage, three or four minced
little salt,
a small piece of
sherry.
ham and
a glass of
good
Simmer
in the
Quin while reading his but he had barely finished the first
of
it
when
to lengthen
and
hue; and
114
before
WAGS OF THE
he
reached
STAGE.
the end of
it
the ruby
cheeks of the bon-vivants were hidden under ''the pale cast of thought" that they had
been poisoned.
"Is this one of your jokes, Mr. Quin, or
do you
really
mean
to say that
you invited
"To
Not
entirely,"
to try
replied Quin,
invited
you here
my
it.
new soup and give me your opinion You have done both swallowing it
of
liber-
and with praises so loud that I feel flattered, coming as they do from such acally,
complished gourmets.
However,
alarmed
if
the dish
stomachs,
don't
be
there
's
an
They thought
it.
Without waiting
Quin's "Puree a
It
la Calf."
was needless
for
Quin
to
mention
JAMES QUIN.
for the
115
it
"I
Yet
am no
can't stow
away
ing himself
away under
its limit,
and notwith-
As
good
a matter of course,
Quin was a
of
his
"jolly
fellow"
in
the
eye
brother-
actors,
and
therefore
had a multitude of
friends
among
them.
men who
dififered so
widely
Quin was full of good nature and good words; Foote was irascible, with a tongue tipped with gall Quin would for;
it
amounted
in
an
insult
his
bosom
ness
the
^vas
most
of
one
Ouin's waggishkind
;
the
all
"give-and-take"
Foote's
9
was
I 1
could
made
at his expense,
quite as
much
had
as one of his
to
own
that some-
body
else
pay
for
hit
by
his
being a
target
that
of other people.
His
sen-
sitiveness
was
trate a joke
upon him was sure to bring his everlasting enmity on the head of the perpetrator.
known him
it.
Yet he
wouldn't permit a
His appetite for a joke was something which had to be satisfied at whatever cost.
way
of his waggery.
It
"Poor Foote
I feel
Why,
now?"
JAMES QUIN.
"His
old
117
trouble.
complaint
financial
However, what
am
is
in strict confidence
ther.
ness,
me to let it go no furYou know the poor fellow's sensitiveand how anxious he is to cover up the
the required promise, and
signs of poverty."
They gave
continued
:
Quin
him
him
in
"Declined?
Was
he sick?"
of his
lie
"No; he said his shirt was in the custody washerwoman and he would have to
abed until
it
was washed.
Very
sad, isn't
it?"
The
story
may have
it
was
Il8
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
his chagrin
and so roused
his
anger that he
refused to speak to
Ouin
for
months
after-
wards.
reconciliation, but
"Tell
could you
that?"
"Why,
that I had to
lie
my
I
shirt
washed."
it,
my
boy;
how
could I?
didn't
a shirt!"
him
a distaste for angling and one of his sporting friends asking him the reason for his
aversion,
he
replied
"Self-preservation.
You
into
JAMES QUIN.
Then
tell
119
carcass
look,
Quin was never great in Tragedy. His attempts in that field were mediocre and
merely imitations of Barton Booth, the pupil and successor of Betterton. It was on his
Falstaff
that
his
reputation
was
built
us was deserved
Quin
and
if
spending an evening with that merry mortal, I wouldn't spend one with him, if he would
pay
It
my
was
reckoning."
in this part that
Quin made
his last
The
occasion was
The
result
was
wrote to Quin the following year saying that he intended to take another benefit and asking the actor
if
to appear once
more
in the
same
part.
But
I20
WAGS OF THE
in the
STAGE.
Quin
meantime had
loss
lost
two of
his
front teeth
which interfered so
seri-
ously with the flow of his speech that he refused to comply with his friend's request.
His
istic
letter of reply to
:
Ryan was
character-
My
than yourself
staff for
but,
!
by
G d,
I
!
sir
no man
James Quin.
From
March
at
19th, 1753
Quin
lived in retirement
Bath
which occurred on
January 21st, 1766. He was buried in the Abbey Church where his tomb is topped by
a marble
monument on which
is
engraved
:
the public ear is heard no more Closed are those eyes, the harbingers of wit, Which spake before the tongue what Shakspere writ;
And charmed
Ccld is that hand, which, living, was stretched forth At Friendship's call, to succour modest worth. Here lies James Quin Deign, reader, to be taught,
What
thy strength of body, force of thought Tn Nature's happiest mould, however cast,
e'er
To
this
at last."
SAMUEL
FOOTE.
Samuel Foote.
name,
like that of his friend
place
though
an
scroll of
left
Fame. There
no doubt that he
something behind
him
but
was not
excellence.
His
so-called
comedies
were
nothing
more
than
plot,
lamely-constructed
filled
farces, without
and
with witty
attacks
hits
upon
soiled reputations,
and caustic
at the vices
whom
was no
respecter of
en-
and put
122
WAGS OF THE
in
STAGE.
money
his purse
something
for,
which
his
and some-
knew how
him
way
ends.
to leave
periodically
on
his beam.-
He made
in
on the Stage
until
He had
tried each
end
Comedy and
to
Then he began
I
wonder
am
fit
for neither
1
am
I fit
His question was soon to be answerHe was cast for the part of Bayes in
his success in
it
left
no
his
"fit
for."
Foote was quick to profit by his example. But the comedian was much the greater
Besides, he interspersed
SAMUEL FOOTE.
jects of
1 23
recognize.
Nor
He
brought
alike, or
in the followers
of
all
professions
led
him now
to
abandon
all
thought of again
attempting the legitimate drama, and to devote his talent to such parts in his
as
own
farces
were
fitted for
it.
formly successful; although his scurrilous tongue and pen occasionally tangled him in
the meshes of the law.
He
nal.
George had
lost
forced
thereafter
world on an
that
artificial
Foote thought
in the grave,"
and "a wooden understanding," should be so full of conceit and eccentricity, and therefore to give a
to his
the
124
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
name
him
the
George turned on
action
for
libel.
The
was not
entirely satisfactory to
the plaintiff.
He
done since
in the
law hangs like a fish in the net." Foote suffered but little damage from the
suit, either in
pocket or fame.
Two
months
Haymarket, introducing a new scene which he caricatured the Judge, the jury,
proceedings.
It
was during
with
a brain evi-
mimic "The
British
Aristophanes."
The
Faulk-
ner was the plaintiff in his case, while Socrates, in his legal trouble,
ant.
And
even
if
it
Clouds" of Aristophanes furnished a Court of Justice with the hint, and substantially
SAMUEL FOOTE.
the grounds,
25
upon which the bare-foot philospoher was prosecuted and deprived of his
life,
yet
all this
On what
was
were
an apt
:
"A
Of
learning
it is
is
a dangerous thing."
course
carica-
were
turists,
but
it
demonstrate
same "thinking-shop."
Foote at once
dis-
claimed the epithet, saying he would not point out the mistake of the learned counsel
but would leave
it
tle
Foote was no sycophant. He had but litrespect for Nobility, and no regard for
its
it
the reputation of
when
themselves.
The Duke
126
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
bottle
and usual-
enough of
it
under
his gold-laced
waistcoat to
make
his
dukeship top-heavy.
:
One day he
a
said to
Foote
"I
am
invited to
masquerade to-morrow night; can you suggest some character for me to appear in that would be novel?" "Certainly," replied
the
wag
in
;
"Go sober!"
was
it
The
ing
offence
reply
witty,
at
and
in the
He would
if
the
On
one
occasion he
dined
with
Lord
Townshend, who had been engaged, the day When the dinner was before, in a duel.
finished,
Foote remarked
"Your
your antagonist in a more deadly way." "A more deadly way, Mr. Foote? How?"
"By
inviting
him
SAMUEL
Here
mor.
is
FOOTE.
127
He
to dine
with a certain nobleman, but again the quality of the dinner didn't reach his expectations.
On
he found the
servants
the
hall
ranged
on each side of
for
their
When
cook:
my G
eat-
"There are
for
my
I
wine; but, by
d,
never in
for the
my
life
have
money."
In his crabbed
moods
its
He
believed, or feign-
were required in the make-up of an actor, and that the profession itself was "the last
resource of ignorance, indolence and vice."
During
his
but
salary,
128
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
One
said
:
we have
lost
our old
fel-
prompter."
low didn't know enough for the position; he couldn't read, so I made an actor of him."
to the
it
He
argued that
much
ot
would be good
paying
for every
man
to learn the
art of not
his debts;
it is
the art of
money. It saves the trouble of keeping accounts, and makes other people work for our repose. It checks avarice and
living without
encourages generosity as people are commonly more liberal with the property of
others than with their own.
In short,
it
draws the
inquiries
world on us while we
cerely regretted
and makes us
die."
sin-
when we
Among
lordship
the
many
titled
acquaintances of
Kellie.
the comedian
His
his
countenance was
SAMUEL FOOTE.
that in
29
it
seemed to
rival the
do
so,
him he would
had accepted which would
Foote was
have to break
his
promise as he
it,
heard by
all
my
lord?
not do
me
me
to-
me way. As house be kind enough to look by my you over the fence and against my side wall.
day, you can oblige
ride
We
have had so
little
night that
grateful
my
countenance."
This same lord was fond of playing practical jokes upon his friends and in a manner
so coarse that a certain Irish gentleman re-
marked
to Foote:
undertake to play one of his scurvy pranks on me I would pull his nose." "Pull his
130
mander
to
do that
unless
all
fingers burned."
manner of
it
macy
to
keep the
knowledge of
for this,
from
friends.
He
prosperity
fore
in
was needed
and there-
"Uncle" he would
his watch.
If
everything go except
shirt,
he was minus a
what
mattered
pull
it?
He
who
then
would suspect that he didn't know where his next meal was to come from ? While struggling through one of these pinched periods
of his erratic
lin,
life
who had
retaliate.
now
to
have an opportunity
a coffee-house
They entered
Foote pulled out his gold repeater, looked at it, dangled it in his hand, and then held it up
to
SAMUEL
"Never mind, Sam,"
a
little
FOOTE.
I3I
patience
said Macklin.
"Have
Foote
a
it
will
soon go!"
whom
was stopping on a
"Why,
sir,"
he
nothing
left.
"Is
it
possible
here?"
"Bury them?
else could
"Do
them
as
How
never bury
there."
"You
don't?
How
in the
world do you
get rid of
them?"
"Easily enough.
lay
When
a lawyer dies
we
him out
at night in a
room by
himself,
"That we cannot
he
is
All
we know
is
that
132
The
came
his cook
that there
was no
rolling-pin
the
kitchen.
mahogany
bed-post.
The
a drawer
chest.
was taken from a curious Japanese Then it was discovered there was no
"That
will never
So
to "save the
When
the landlord
came
to see
how
his ten-
rooms and
threat-
wag
done to
furniture.
sir, is all
injury,
You may
sue, if
you
please, but if
you do
SAMUEL FOOTE.
I'll
33
will
see
who
it."
This threat so
calmed the
dam-
Skillful
as
own weapon
turned
upon himself.
He
a three-year lease of the Edinburgh Theatre, and the decision being against him the Scottish agent came from Edinburgh with a bill
ing as he did so
"Well,
money,
Edinburgh and,
way
possible."
the cash
latter in
"Aye, aye,
mon
on Foote."
hit in
After his
opened the
his
New Haymarket
"tea-drinking entertainments."
These
134
tide of the
luck
ebb.
Quin, of course,
said
am
glad of
it.
We
may now
likely
look to
to
go
to
to
especially
as
it
was
made
friend
of
Foote's.
at once to the
wag and
Jemmy,"
ing
told
him of
moment
later
coffee-house.
"So,
my
jokes.
He
tells
me
that
you said
shirts.
should
dare
now
How
liberty as that?"
"Your
plied
friend has
made
a mistake," re-
Do you
could be so ignorant as to
at
Among
his Excellency's
a person
wag was somewhat surprised to see whom he had known to have been
SAMUEL FOOTE.
one of the Jeremy Diddlers of London.
satisfy himself that he
135
To
in
his surmise
name
"is
of the man.
,
Mr. S
one of
my gentlemen
"Oh
at large.
yes, I
know
me
is
doubly extraordinary;
first,
that he
should be at large/'
The
chant-tailors.
antly,
off pleasuntil
and he
the
table
the
more than
half of
them had
left.
Then he
of seriousness
"Gentlemen,
both good-night."
the company;
"Why,
There are
"Oh, yes,"
know
the
num-
make a
man,
136
WAGS OF THE
in
STAGE.
Foote died
ber,
month
was buried by torchhght in the cloisters of Westminster, where he now lies, with no memorial to
mark
no epitaph
his virhis faults,
call
remembrance of
He must
some
virtues,
sinking glories
his wise old
;"
and
could
At
all
events, the
name
full
of Foote
still
lives.
century-and-a-half
bloom, and,
count him
among
will ever
remember
him
as the chief of
its
departed wags.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
From
the collection of Charles N.
Mann.
William Wheatley.
And
an Episode of Nicaraguan Life.
he lived, the Stage knew but
better
few WHILE
actors
than
it
William
has
known
show of
as
in
his
In
such
characters
"Rover,"
"Copper Captain" in Rule a Wife and Have a Wife, he had no peer with the possible
The
latter,
however,
lacked
the
graceful form of
Wheatley potent
handsome
face
if
and
not
became acquainted with Wheatley in 1849. He was then a member of the Walnut
I
138
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
and
Wheatley had
five dollars
to be content
per week.
sum when we consider that there are players now of no more merit who demand their
three-hundred a week, and get
it.
member
Company
this
of
New
York.
theatre that
a remarkable cast.
Harry
Placide was the Sir Harcourt, Peter Richings the Dazzle. Charlotte
Cushman
the
Lady
ance"
but
Brougham was
is
and there
Nowadays when
humor and
brilliancy.)
company of
his or stars
her
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
the country with
cult
tre
it
39
't
would be a
of
diffi-
task
to
for
the
manager
array
of
any
thea-
collect
an
talent
equal
to that of the
Old Park.
But, admitting
company
together, and that the manager's exchequer were broad enough to straddle the expense,
there
would
still
of his success
mean,
if
he confined his
company
to
the
old-time comedies.
The
He must
of the
something dished up
in
''Brass
he'll
Monkey"
have
it,
or the
or turn his
back on the theatre that won't oblige him and seek another that will. However, this is
a subject "to be handled with care."
There
are plenty of preachers on the "Decadence of the Drama," but their text
is
The Decadence
is
an
in-
I40
com-
By
dint of
some
profitable
way
in
which to invest
it.
Among
his friends
to
have the knack of handling the ups-anddowns of the stock market without getting
his fingers squeezed.
"Wheatley," he said, "if you have any money to invest I can give 5''0u a Wall Street tip by which you can quadruple your capital in a week."
This was
but he was
what
a
my
friend
was looking
for,
little
He
had often
mouse
trap
easy
to
he had confidence
in his friend
and
"Buy
and
$64 and
may go
out."
Wheatto
He
turned his
it
money over
who
invested
in
200 shares of
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
Harlem
But
at 64,
I4I
human
calcu-
lations,
especially
if
Harlem
continued in
downward
lost
and with
had
fifteen
points,
leaving
Wheatley minus
half as
his $2000,
and
in debt for
much more.
dollars
may
it
not be a
lose,
but
when
happens
that a
man
aid of
some philosophy
to reconcile
him
to
his loss.
a good deal of
from home," he
money' nor do
;
my
'spilt
milk.'
"
Nor
that
:
is,
to speak
I 4.2
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
He
sigh,
!"
shall
the wilds of
Nicaragua,
from
poor
man
a comparatively stage
it
until
he returned to
to pick
up
a plethoric fortune.
This
may
will give
me
his
some of
waggery.
as I have said,
ship.
was about
this
became disgusted with his profession. He had labored in it long and hard, and rather
than waste more of his years and energy
upon labor so unremunerative, he resolved to leave it. This resolution he followed up with
a farewell benefit, and at the close of the
WILLIAM VVHEATLEY.
to be forever
I43
\^''as it
He
thought so then,
our ends"
New York
and accepted a position in the office of his brother-in-law, E. H. Miller, a prominent Wall Street broker. One year of such a life
was
quite
enough
for Wheatley.
He was
dis-
and more
contented than
a fish
out of water.
"William,
it is
and have no
relish for
is
and bears.
I
All this
propose which
may
;
liking."
'Well,
go on, Ned
am more
I
than ready
to listen."
"You know,
pany?"
"I
presume, that
am
a heavy
Com-
dowhat
also
then?"
that the Pacific end of the
"You
know
144
Transit
WAGS OF THE
route
STAGE.
connects
with
Commodore
"Yes."
"Well,
my
some
take
little if
moneyenough,
proposition
is
this
You
have
I think,
for the
purpose,
this,
you haven't I will help you out go down to Central America, buy
pose of supplying the Vanderbilt steamers with beef. What do you think of it ?"
was with the promise of adventure, it tickled the ennuied spirits of Wheatley, and was destined to change the current,
not only of the comedian's
life,
but of
my
own.
I
was then
phia, with
site
rooms on Chestnut
On
lid
entering
my
found the
of a bandbox
read
"My
I
New York
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
I45
purpose of seeing you, and on a matter of Meet me at great moment to both of us.
the Chestnut Street Theatre to-night.
fail.
Don't
You
will find
box.
I
to
met him
told
me
Miller,
upon the
he
said,
"And now,"
I
man
care to have
as a partner, and
made."
"Well,"
tune;
it is
I replied, "I
But
how
Tropical fevers are apt raguan climate? to be dangerously rough on the constitution of a Northern man, and I would rather miss
a fortune than tumble into
my
grave in run-
ning to clutch
it."
"Tumble
boy.
into
your grave ?
Nonsense,
my
Have
Central America'
If
you have
is
n't I
can as-
the garden-spot
146
the
He
mer,
of
the
world
which
it
would n't be
its
perpetual sum-
balmy
breath of
its
ending stretch of
its
making up
of
it,
said
"Well, William,
my
"Very good, my boy, but be speedy as possible, and in the making of your decision don't forget the pregnant words of Brutus:
'There
is
Which, taken
I
on to fortune.'
"
thought the matter over, and the result of my thinking was what might have been
expected.
was young, with no matrimonial nor other ties to shackle me, and had a sharp
I
appetite
for
adventure
(of
which, by the
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
I47
I sold
Wheatley that I would join him in his undertaking, and that he might expect me in
New York
rival
On my
ar-
he greeted
me
cordially,
gratulating
cision, said
:
me on
*'I
the
wisdom of my
both
on
the
week we
was
will be
on our way
tober
when we
balmy day in the month of Ocstood on the deck of the Weblazily out of her
ster as she
backed
dock
to
Narrows
a side-wheeler,
and
The
sea
was
rolling
interest the
motion
of the wheel.
a larboard
II
When
list
148
out of sight.
When
the
list
would bring the wheel again into view, with its paddles whirling around en-
way
it
Wheatley a few steps away, and now turned to draw his attention to what
I
had
left
He was nowhere
I
to
and again
rail.
Being
in the
very prime of
as a matter of course,
of poetry
and sentiment, and nothing is more apt to stir them up and bring them out
than the boundless
as
I
sea.
its
learned
all
this
broad expanse to where the waters met and kissed the emcast
my
eye over
was shortly
to learn a
My
found."
O, what
man
;
Who
Grant
me
but
this,
Of
thee
I'll
ask,
nor waste
my
life
on
My
reverie
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
sensation.
sire to
149
My
crawl up over
my
head, and
it
was
my
poetry and
sentiment,
was now
stirring
bring
My
for
young
the
love
briny
More
liberal
than
Shakspere's Gonzalo,
who
ground,"
of Neptune's
kingdom
little
well-balanced earth.
I
had heard a
holds to
fill
confidently believed
of
it
into mine.
If I
am
not mistaken,
dallies
first
it is
characteristic of
him who
with the
bosom of
the
time to have
in the steadi-
same
and confidence
He
is
a lucky
man
if
But
for
to return to
my own
case.
started
my
50
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
way
StretchAvas a
gangway
it
saw
man
and apparently
Wheatley.
was
my
friend
me
that he
shut.
was not
''Is
were
down
shall
am
sick
man
it.
trying
"To
die?
Not
yet,
till
not yet.
his
I
my
boy.
No
man
your
can do that
know you
I
are on
Paradise, but
don't think
you
'11
no reply save another groan then, rising slowly on his feet, he linked his arm in mine, and we tottered down the gang;
He made
way
steps
to the
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
Wheatley crawled into
clothes
on,
151
but
removed mine
bit
of
work which the lurching of the vessel rendered somewhat toilsome nor would I have
;
done
it
could
was
to
have
courage to tackle for three days superb misery, during which time
ach's needs
days
my
little
of
stom-
smith's Hermit;
wanted "but
here
below."
The corner
was about
would hospitably entertain, and sometimes 't would be uncivil even to that, and
kick
it
out as an intruder.
friend's
My
attack
it
was not
so lasting.
The morning
after
owner
By
the
my own
topsy-turvy tricks
want of
capital to
work
on
I
and
was
my
berth.
152
thought a sniff of the salt air might exhilarate me, and I was anxious to be on deck
where
the
could have
it.
question,
I
unless
still
my
trousers.
was
was not
head.
propping of
the berth,
I
my
more underpinned by
other parts of
easy.
old
my
toilet
we were approaching
it
the Nicaraguan
hanging
we saw
a dense and
hour we had
us,
left
and were steaming our way under the downpour of a tropical rain and into the
harbor of San Juan del Norte.
This,
how-
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
ever,
is
53
town.
When John
has
n't as yet
Greytown.
There
is
any other way attractive, about the town; at least, there was n't fifty years ago, and I
believe
the
lapse
made but
then
little
change or improvement.
of
consisted
perhaps
forty
or
fifty
palm
leave.",
hundred
of
various
colors
three
black,
brown, red, yellow and white. The site itself is low and flat, and admirably fitted for
the raising of mosquitoes and the breeding of
Calentura
pretty
name
man.
154
WAGS OF THE
our trip
STAGE.
On
we had made
advice
the friendship
who
"Gentlemen,
down
to
may,
ship.
if
me
aboard
Grey-
If
quarters in
town one
saddle
might
month
to get rid of
if
you got
rid of
it
at all."
We
thanked him
and also
ing closely to
We
"dis-
thought
it
might have had such a spot mind's eye when he penned that muchline.
is
bequoted
Curiosity, however,
It
a pugnacious imp.
got so
much
the better
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
of mine that
I
55
passengers, and
the residents.
Two
tell-tale
tokens enabled
faces of the
me
to
distinguish
them the
them.
The
it
latter token,
Was
possible that
or
Maybe
so;
anyhow,
would soon
find out.
On
and
muddy
street,
facing
the
front, read-
ing:
I
Crossing over,
in
bar-room.
I
man whom
He
had
fishy
flesh-color
had
gamboge.
He was
me
to believe that
among
the
156
WAGS OF THE
Yet
STAGE.
wooden nutmegs.
my
belief
was en-
and
I
Grey-
town ? While
'*
was trying
tion he snapped
my
'11
another:
What
"A He
glass of soda,
you
please."
a glass and
threw down a
silver dollar in
payment.
ringing
tossed
it it
After picking up the coin and three or four times on the bar, he
into
his
till,
and handed me
in
change three Canadian twenty-cent pieces. It seemed to me that forty cents for a glass
of soda
yet to
was a rather
stiff price,
but
was
know
that swindling
must learn
all
to
do a
little
of
it
myself, or
and
I still
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
57
asked
tailors in
Grey town?"
the matter with
"What's
"Because
him?
Nuthin.
don't
know
his
business.
fit
The
clothes
them."
He was
very dirty cloth, but stopped his work and, giving me a quizzical look out of the corner
of his mackerel eye, replied
"I
:
reckon
you
're
stranger
in
these
parts?"
"Yes."
"One
"So
stop
"Yes."
I
reckoned.
in
Well, stranger,
I
if
you
long
these diggins
fit
reckon your
clothes won't
you, nuther."
"I think
understand you.
You mean
that
158
"No,
stranger
don't
mean nuthin
that
it '11
o'
the sort,
mean
alter yourn, if
is
you
give
cute,
it
a chance.
it
The Calentury
gits
powerful
it '11
and when
among
a crowd,
And
it
won't take
it
long, nuther."
reckon he kin
if
down
When
the
Captain Baldwin was right in surmising that we would be delayed in our wait for the
river steamer.
On
the
morning of our
fifth
day
in the
harbor
in a
we heard
her high-pressure
snort,
and
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
59
We
looks.
to last
it
were not altogether pleased with her Our journey up the river was sure
some days, and as we were told that rains on that stream twenty-three hours
we had
a right to
the
Transit
Company would
to keep
would promise
The boat we
sort.
were looking
accommodation of passengers,
except
an
hammocks, and covered with an awning. The latter was old and drilled with holes by
mildew
streams
upon the
I
hammocks
beneath.
remarked:
"Well,
the
Transit
Company
expects
if it
man
damp
am
l6o
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
"damp" was
emphatic.
It
had
may
The
passengers,
waiting
in
Grevtown
were now
being conveyed from the shore in scows, and the deck of the httle steamer was soon
crowded.
and we did
so,
it
might promise us
the
peas,
iiope.
more comfort.
But vain
as like as
two
awning over the second one had a more unwholesome look. (Perhaps "more holethe
better explained
why
left
the
hammocks were
Still
wetter.)
there
us
we would
have nearly the sole possession of the boat. We got aboard with our luggage, bade
Baldwin a friendly good-bye, and then, with a wheezy snort, the little steamer backed off from the side of the Webster and,
turning about, paddled her
way around
Al-
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
ligator Point
l6l
judged
an hour
would have
to struggle against
of which
little
is
it
took but
figuring to
consume an equal number of hours supposing there would be no detention on the way
to
add
to the
number.
This supposition,
little
however, proved to be a
too airy.
Our
of
a
many
de-
man may
torial
home.
To me
in
tionable,
and
the scales of
my
comfort
were
far
Even
the enthusiasm of
Wheatley underwent a magical change, and long before the year had expired he had ceased to talk
my
friend
l62
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
day, he told
me
all
the gastronomic delicacies, as well as the of his Paradise, for a single other
slice
But
will
am
getting ahead of
my
story,
and
go back
fore
still
we reached our
destination,
which was
hundred and nineteen miles long, and its fall from Lake Nicaragua about one hundred
and ten
feet.
Each
up from
impenetrable to
anything
twisting
else.
its
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
with the rapidity of an old
night the clouds hang over
their contents with
sion.
little,
163
salt.
it,
Day and
pouring out
if
any. intermis-
Our
forget.
first
T shall
never
The mosquitoes,
possibly
fearing
and raised a lump as big as a hen's egg at every bore. The San Juan mosquito is sui
generis.
He
is
and more than three times as hungry. He is full of diplomacy and caution, as well as
agility.
let you know he 's and if he be interrupted in his meal coming, by one of your smacks he will dodge it with
He
never sings to
work on
a fresh spot.
As
a dodger he
all
the
Cnlex
should recollect
my
'T would be
it.
forget
the rain
still
falling
164
in torrents.
*VAGS OF
THE
STAGE.
asked Wheatley,
ting up
in his
:
in describ-
upon
a
it?"
little
"Have
will
patience,
my
shine bright
our destination,"
"And
there
's
Eden
!"
and
pointed to an eight-foot
alli-
down
the river's
bank and then plunged into the water. "Yes, I saw him. Do you know, Joe,
these creatures have
that
human
species?"
"No,
don't
know
it.
When
that out?"
"Only a moment ago. Did n't you notice what haste that big fellow made to reach
the river and get in out of the
wet?
that
There
don't
are
know enough
"So
I
sug-
gest that
we
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"I would gladly
if I
165
jump overboard, my
n't
boy,
jump
after me.
Confound the
night, while
in
pests
never slept
a wink
all
your soaked hammock as happily as if you were in your comfortable bed at home."
snoring away
My
into
friend
was mistaken.
't
If I did
drop
an occasional doze,
was only
I
to
dream
of
to
my
it.
The
little
steamer was
now
puffing her
way up
the river.
On
each
its
interminable
length,
vines
that
hung
festooned,
To
the Northern
if
man
such a
scene
is full
of novelty, and,
But the
may
be too
much
of every
No man
good wants
66
and the chatter of monkeys. Eye and ear alike soon grow weary of monotony, and nowhere on earth can they find more of it
than on the San Juan River.
After
passing
through
the
Machuca
many
we
reach-
ed a landing a
Rapids.
the lake,
way below
the Castillo
These are thirty-seven miles from and rush over the ledges of rock
fall
with
They
are
;
much
to climb
baggage were transferred around them to another steamer, the "Director," which lay
waiting for them at a landing above, and on
We
were detained
if
some
hours and,
would have
an ancient
Viejo"
fort or
castle
The gray
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
the fort
67
their
perch on a
at the
Cas-
we
worthy of mention the "jigger." The natives have another name, or rather two names, for it, the "Nigua" and the
is
that
"Chigo."
As
have
said,
it
first
made our
acquaintance at the
has a habit
it
and does
through
it
how
gets
to find
a mere speck
to the
its
naked
operations.
As soon
it
as
it
comes
in con-
appe-
toe.
There
its
is
tion of
boring;
does
it
so gently that
68
victim
it
the
until
unconscious of
its
its
presence
has finished
it
contemplated home,
and
laid in
a sack of eggs
the sack
It is
be-
now
high time for the victim to wake up and stir Unless the sack is taken out at himself.
once, the eggs will hatch and he
is
likely to
may have
The
sack,
which they
it
with
out with
a half-
They charge
dime for
fee,
modest
and neither Wheatley nor myself begrudged it to the Greaser who so deftly and
so quickly freed our foot from the danger-
ous
little insect.
Thenceforth and during our entire year's stay in Nicaragua, our "jigger" watchfulness never flagged, for there
that our i:)edals
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
There
is
169
Some
others
obstruction
to
the
channel,
their
while
artificial,
many
rocks
by the original natives to prevent marauders from getting any further into "the bowels of their
land."
in the river
They
an un-
it
leaves
them.
Our delay
the end of
it
at the place
was
tedious, but
came
at last, to find us
aboard
up the
tillo
river.
so
igno-
The
river
now began
to widen,
and the
its
enough of
170
beyond.
swamp were
there
the
man
home
over
it
reckless
enough
to
their clutches.
On
rived
ar-
San Carlos.
This
is
a place of
two or three
It
is
more
pretension.
situ-
Lake Nicaragua,
it
at
to start
little
on
its
way
to the Atlantic.
After a
more of the delay characteristic of the country, we were transferred to the deck of the
"Central America," a steamer 180 feet long,
in
comparison
we had been
boat, built
by
in
Commodore Vanderbilt
seven
New York
weeks, and
the Daniel
trip.
him
WILLIAM WHEATLEY
I7I
was impossible to accomplish. But the was used to battHng with imCommodore
possibilities.
He was
not the
man
to shrink
his ends,
however imprac-
With
steamer was pulled over the rapids, but not without having a hole staved through her
bottom.
This, however,
and
in a
traffic.
Ceuiral
American
travelers,
when
tliey
speak
of
Lake
Nicaragua,
are
loud
in
their praises of
a loss
"Lake Nica-
ragua
all
is
the queen
of a
sail
on her bosom."
Well,
we were now on
us,
plenty of
it.
The
sun,
1/2 hidden
his
from
us,
was nearly
at
now
reach-
One
it
lingering look
were
he
threw
upon
upon
hues
the
his
lake's
fair breast,
then dropped
the gorgeous
his
pillow.
And now
changed.
of
heaven
Robbed of
pencil's touch,
their royal
purple paled to
to vanish stars
gray of
first,
Timidly the
began
to peep,
by the hundreds,
till
from zenith
to
horizon,
all
beneath a Northern sky. Yet, novel and beautiful as the sight was, our ability to appreciate it was sadly weakened by our river experience. The lack of
was prosy enough to smother all of our romanticism, and until we could swalsleep
re-
we were
in
no humor to yield
to the
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
73
stars.
However,
to
it is
comes
it.
to wait for
We
before us
we saw
;
turbed
sleep
therefore,
upon the
glittering stars,
we tumbled
into
\Mien we awoke the sun was up and the steamer at anchor. She lay about two hundred yards from the shore and
in front of
our
destined
home
it
Virgin
Bay, or "La
Veerhin," as
is
euphoniously pronounced
by the natives. There was no wharf at which the steamer could land, and the lake
being too shoal to allow her nearer approach
not en-
Near
Transit
Company's
one-storied,
tile-roofed structure,
174
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
The
There were about twenty of the former, the homes of half-naked and dirty-looking
Greasers,
their days in
The
tents, of
wore upon
sign
and
to
tainment, or go without.
We
spent the
morning
in the office
of the
company, whose agent, a Mr. Doyle, WheatAt noon I ley had known in New York.
suggested that
we
take a
stroll, for
the pur-
was
for entering
upon our
cattle
enterprise.
clear.
Not a cloud
in all the
down upon
circular
our
straw
hats
and
cast
their
feet.
One
look at
my
and
was
quite
enough
to convince
me
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
faith in cattle enterprises
175
"Well, William,"
I said,
we
are in
your
land
of
we
're here,
how do you
?
Is
your
cattle
scheme
handsome
"My
am
not
easily discouraged,
at the
has one.
But,
from what
the time
we landed
Greytown
until
I
we
don't
unif
utopianism
Where
to feed
come from?
And
have
ticability
"But,"
you give
it
up what do
176
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
to
"To be laughed
cudgel our brain and
No.
We
must
else
up something
Hello!
What's
this?"
tent,
On
more
was the sign on the front that caught Wheatley's eye and drew forth his exclamation. The letters, which were a
in depth.
It
from red
flannel
and
sewed on
"American Hotel."
The
tent
was divided
into
two
parts, the
crowded with the passengers that had landed in the morning from the Webster.
VVheatley looked in the door a moment,
to
me
"Suppose we go
this
in
landlord.
He
We
was so busy
we had
half hour
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
passed, then the
lull
I77
came, and
we walked
over
to
the
bar, ordering
"lemonade for
to question the
two."
host:
"Do you
on your hands?" "Always on steamer days, and very often so big that we can't a much bigger crowd
accommodate them."
"How
ness ?"
am
going
to
give
it
up."
it
"Give
up ?
What
for
Does
n't
it
pay
you?"
"Yes,
it
But
"
here
lying
man
hammock
there
"my
partner
down with
the Calentura,
and thinks he
I'm going to
the States."
will die if
sell
he stays here.
So
Wheatley stopped
taking
his
questioning, and.
it,
pose
me aside, we go into
said
"I have
Joe
Sup-
178
WAGS OF THE
was taken a
little
STAGE.
aback
at the idea of a
light comedian running a hotel in such a "You 're not sericountry, and replied
:
ous?"
"Never
in
my
life
more
so,
my
and
boy.
We
is
'11
out
not
what he wants
he
we
will close
"You want
"Yes, and
I
to sell out?"
'11
sell at
a sacrifice."
"What do you
"Twenty-two
hundred
and
dollars
fixtures."
for
the
"And
stands?
the
I
ground
on
is
which
the
tent
suppose that
included."
"No.
We
we
told
him
to
make out an inventory of his stock and fixtures, and we would give him an answer
in the
It
morning.
being
could
now
dinner time
we asked him
if
he
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"Certainly," he said, "walk right back.
79
Din-
The
at
was hung
them
hammocks, and between a long dining-table was spread. Payone dollar each to the man who stood on ing guard at the door, we entered and took our
the
seats at the table.
Now,
which
beans.
From
for
the time
all
we
left
the harbor of
Greytown and
the
way
up the river
we had them
and supper. "What a breakfast, Paradise for a Boston man," I thought, and
dinner
as I
for beans,
knew my friend had no Boston appetite I made the thought loud enough
"beans"
is
But
name.
not
their
Nicaraguan
He who
However,
if
his palate
But
to return to
13
our dinner.
The
table.
l8o
which was spread without a cloth of any kind, was about fifty feet long, and down the
middle of
it,
at regular intervals of
two
feet,
The remainder
It
of the
of
plantains.
seemed to
me
that
if
the pas-
we
ought to make a
hotel speculation,
ley
pile of
if
out of our
it.
Wheat-
was of the same opinion and on the following morning, when the landlord showed
us his inventory,
we
paid
him
his twenty-
two hundred
possession.
dollars,
A
a
now was
to secure
good cook, and by the merest chance we got one. He was a Mahonese, and had been
employ of Uncle Sam for years as a He knew his chef on one of his warships. business, and expected to be paid for his
in the
knowledge
lars a
at the rate of
month.
We
he would take no
less,
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
gerous.
for
l8l
left
San Juan del Sud, on his way to San Francisco, and we must fill the gap at once or drive the passengers that were now with
us to seek another hotel.
It
from the
had
During
this
time
that
and $1.00 for their sleeping accommodations, which might be in a hammock, or on the floor; and not a
$3.00 for their meals
floor, either.
board
floors
were luxuries of
in
civilization as yet
unknown
Virgin Bay.
at a
would be
unusual
was not an
floor-
thing
hear
one of the
occupants dickering for a change of berths with his more fortunate companion who was
feet
above
his
Their dickerings sometimes amused me, and here is a specimen of them which
82
WAGS OF THE
I
'11
STAGE.
"Tom,
berths."
"Not
if
the Court
'11
knows
herself."
"Then, what
"Well,
just
I
you take?"
and don't bother me.
now.
I
'11
Go
to sleep
Maybe
in the
morning."
Our hopes were now in full feather. were convinced that we had taken the
road
to
flattered
We
right
fortune, and our propitious start us that the journey would be a short
tropical
always
smooth.
little
Here
is
an instance
where
the
ran a
Out
in
lake,
is
and
Bay,
other
Madeira stop
One
is
the
have
stated that
Ometepec
an extinct volcano,
Volcanoes are
but that
is
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
as fickle as
in
83
maidens of
sixteen.
They may be
's
no
what humor may take possession of them to-morrow. For centuries previous to
telling
Ometepec had been called a "dead volcano," and, when we saw it, to all appearour
visit
ance
erel.
it
was
mack-
And
it
thus
it
Then
and nights kept up a belch of fire, accompanied with rumblings and earthquakes.
When
ed.
The whole
fled to the
of the mountain, which had been under cultivation for hundreds of years,
in
mud,
There
lava,
the
were buried
scoria-
a moral to
all
this:
"Put not
your
dead volcanoes.
And now
story.
up the thread of
my
at
is
Ometepec and Madeira are united their bases, and cover the island, which
twenty- four miles in circumference.
Through
184
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
sweep on their way to the Pacific, and their sweep, which is continual, has sometimes
a velocity that
sixth
is
little
cyclonic.
On
the
day
after
we had
taken possession of
and
left
in
repetition
we
replace
the
covering of thatch.
and
native
labor
was hard
hurry to
to
get.
A
in
to work,
his pocket to
buy a glass of "Aguardiente." The reader, probably, has never had an opportunity to try this brain-befuddler.
It is
much
apple-
time
than
either
Jersey's
We
tried to
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
their laziness
85
would
n't listen.
They would
it
and hold
:
up
to our
"Manana"
this
is
to say
"To-morrow, when
gone
!"
If their labor
was hard
to get,
it.
it
was
quite
as hard to hold
insisted
when we had
Each man
upon having his pay when his day's work was done; if he got it, we wouldn't
see
;
him again for a week and if he did n't get it, he would leave us altogether. Under such a difficulty it was n't strange
that our roof
slow that a
its
was
shelter.
have spoken of the jigger and the mosquito, together with their insinuating ways,
I
were the only borers into our anatomy and comfort. There were millions of venomous
ants that
marched
in armies,
determined to
myriads of
fleas,
86
nation
an early surprise
in the
rantulas, hiding in
our fingers to come within reach of their spring; green snakes, with danger in their
fangs, nestling in the thatch above our head,
known
to the
world at large as the louse. In the North, where civilization and soap and water have
their sway, this little gray-backed creature
is
human com-
has no preference.
The
reader
may
its
think
am
prejudiced
exaggerating
opinion
I
I
discomforts.
If that be his
will not
merely giving him what I learned from that "school-marm of fools," Experience.
am
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
She
is
8/
a costly, but thorough teacher, and perhaps he would rather learn the truth direct
from
it
at
second-hand
scholars.
And now
of which, as
to give
I
one of
said, I
my
adventures
I
have
wanted.
Among
the
trappings
we had
brought from the States was a large tent, 20x40 feet in size. This we had erected on
the lot adjoining our hotel, and fitted
it
up
with
berths.
"Now,"
am going to
lived long
try to be comfortable.
We have
I
company
have a board
little
word, but
Touchstone says there's much virtue in it Where do you expect to find your boards ?" "Listen and I will tell you. I have had a
talk with the Captain of the Central
America
on
this
tells
will
have no
in
obtaining
me we all we
that his
want
Granada.
He
also tells
me
l88
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
me
we
thing
fifty
per cent.
to
He
way
would be
and whatever
bring them
I
else
we may
down
for us."
come
for a
to the point.
As you
I
not anxious
seventy-mile horseback
ride through a
to be the
Nicaraguan wilderness,
to take
am
somebody
is it,
your place?"
don't object?"
"That
precisely.
You
"Object?
No;
Al-
though I have never in my life been on the back of a horse, and may reach Granada with
a broken neck, yet
I
am
rather delighted at
little
see here."
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
189
native
servants and
Then
called
Eusebio
one of our
told
him
to hire a couple of
of mine.
no shyer
knows how
pitching
its
He
we mounted
first
into
the saddles.
Being
my
appearance in
the character of a
horseman and
I
my
first
was not
among
the native
"Which way, Senor?" asked Eusebio. "To Granada," I replied, and he turned
his horse's
the lake.
I tried
to guide
tion.
He
to
began
go round
When
I at-
190
opposite rein,
it
make
him gyrate the other way or else, to lessen the scope of his circle, and revolve as if on
a pivot.
All of which
was highly
entertain-
as yet
unknown
to the
beckoned to Eusebio
why
his
When
you
I
he came up,
asked him
"What's
I
told
want a
circus horse."
He
guan
to
up the
taught but by
obey the
it
not by pulling on
laying
To
over the
laid
I^
com-
mence
his revolutions
lasts.
After this
little
lesson
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
with
I9I
my
horse,
and
for
felt as
though
owed
a
him an apology
my
stupidity.
the lake
one as could be traveled by a horse with any sort of a vehicle behind him. It was a
mere
trail
that
wound
its
course between
among
When
these
became too
would
emerge from the edge of the forest, follow the lake beach for a hundred or more yards
and then bury itself again in the depths of the wood. Thus, alternately in the shade and sunshine,
pleasantly that
we jogged
I
along,
and so
had been
opinion
began
to think I
in
my
that there
for a
so,
were no charms
I
in a tropical life
I
Northern man.
say
began to think
when
lookI
my
felt
hand quickly
in
to
my
lip
rather than
go.
He was
a full three-
192
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
which would have added an eighth of an inch more. The tree from which he fell was
of the thorn variety, the thorns being from
three to four inches in length; at the base
was fortunate
in not
shaking out
my
lip.
It
began to swell
and with such rapidity that, in a quarter of an hour, it felt like a boxing-glove under
my
nose.
Eusebio recommended a
mud
poultice
man's mouth.
However
the pain
was too
my
and going
a handful of
mud which
lip,
it
he plastered over
my mouth and
around
to keep
tying
my
handkerchief
relief
in place.
The
was
almost instantaneous.
ed Rivas
all
By
the time
we
reach-
pain
its
my
lip
had resumed
normal
and shape.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
93
still
was
wearied by
my
novel exercise
besides, there
village
some
about ten
number
know.
and the only one of any account, was kept by a Captain Cauty, an Englishman, who had been some time in the country and whose
acquaintance
we made
as
owner of the
His ground upon which our tent stood. hotel was a large and comfortable one-story
structure, built of adobe
tiles.
Like
all
it
guan houses,
had
its
in
wanton
pro-
The Captain
received
me
cordially,
and
194
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
my
entertain-
ment.
It
was
it
was served
our way
early
to allow us to eat
it
leisurely
through
and yet be
off
on our
road by sunrise.
And now
my
its
ride,
began to long for the end of the novelty of which was fast losing
I
and growing threadbare. The novelty of a good road would have been more to my liking, for I was tired of constantly
gloss
picking
my way
my
spirits
were droop-
method of doing it. He would point out on the wayside certain clumps of bushes and rocky caves in which he said the
native bandits were in the habit of hiding
and waiting
When
the
approached,
they
would
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
I95
him up with
had just pointed out to me one of these spots and was about finishing the enlivening story connected with
it,
He
when
saw
man coming toward us on horseback. He wore a sombrero, a white linen jacket, and a pair of trousers of the same material, ena
circled at the waist
by a gaudy-colored sash.
There was nothing singular about such a costume, for it is a common one of the country
;
but there
was something
I
singular about
sombrero.
the butt of
Instinctively
my revolver, and the other in the pocket of my coat. In the latter there was four hundred dollars' worth of gold, for my
purchases in Granada, and
to part with
it
for
Was
merely nodded a "buenas and passed on. dias, Senor," "Who is that fellow, Eusebio ?"
so, for the fellow
14
196
WAGS OF THE
sabe, I never
STAGE.
"Ouien
"Nor
seeing
I;
and
shall lose
How
far are
we from
miles, Senor."
"Then
catch us."
let
may
The
now wound
way among
fields
of plantain and
charm
While such a sight generally holds a for the eye of a Northern man, it held
At
to get
from
sore,
was
tired
and
for
my
admiration.
are,
"Here we
Nyndime.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"Where's the hotel?"
such
I
97
The
hotel
build,
The doorway
upon
itas
I
the steps
who
smilingly invited
in the
me
in.
On
enter-
ing
found myself
bar-room, across
which a hammock swung diagonally suspended from two corners of the room.
"Shall
I
and a pair of dark eyes looked at me in such a way I would have said "Yes" whether I
wanted supper or
"Si,
not.
Senorita,
supper
for
two," and
threw myself in the hammock. The supper was soon ready ham and eggs, tortillas,
enjoyed
it,
for
since
It
Rivas.
sunset,
and
determined
198
nada
me
to
my
I
eyes.
hammock and
day
in the
dim
saw a white- jacketed native leaning over from his horse and talking to one of the
Senoritas.
I
had no trouble
in recognizing
caused
me
so
much
I
The conversation
on
in so
of the
low a tone
was unable
I
purport.
However,
enough
to
make me
feel far
from com-
fortable.
man resumed
dle
I fell
hammock and
It
one, for
foot of the
hammock
to
awaken me.
look-
ed up and saw one of the Senoritas standing there with a lighted candle in her hand.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
99
"Get up, Senor we are going to close the house. Follow me and I will show you to
;
your room."
She
led the
way
Coming
it
to a
your
me.
paused a
moment on
for
I
saw something to make me pause. There were two beds in the room. On the
footpost of one a candle flickered in a socket,
Upon
Now,
I
my
I
is
friend
may
am
not
a courageous man,
when courage
the one
thing needed.
time, I
On
am
my presence my nerves
I
and muscles.
courage
I
However, what
in caution.
lack
in
make up
as
I
As soon
ill-
looking cut-throat
commenced
was now
satisfied that
catechis-
200
ing me:
WAGS OF THE
Where was
I
STAGE.
bound?
What was
my
Was
a CathoHc or Protestant?
To
"No
I
intiende,
Senor;" as
this told
him
and
that
was talking
lay-
about,
he
stopped
his
questions
down upon
It
removing any
was now
and
in
my
night,
to
doing so
thought
it
policy
draw upon
my
stock of caution.
First, I
took
my
revolver from
it,
my
it
belt,
cocked and
recocked
mv
Then
placed
my
my
I
clothes on,
pulling
face
my
lay with
I
my
change
my
cowhide beneath
me began
en to push
turn on
worry
my
my
through the flesh. In order to other side and still keep my face
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
outward
it
20I
was necessary
let
to wheel
my
body
round and
head.
my
feet
my
This
I did,
had her way and I slept. How long I had slept, or what disturbed
my
and
slumber,
in
knew
I
an instant
room was
the grave.
as dark as
I
Erebus and
silent as
strained
my
breathing of
my
my
long in doubt.
light footfall
on the brick
I felt
and then
my
my
feet, while a hand passed gently under them. Drops of perspiration oozed from my brow
and as
freely as if
it
seized
my
revolver,
202
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
breaking, and by
its
gray
How
I
it
managed
at his
I
to raise
is
head
now
make
me; but
did
in too eccentric
a fashion to be dangerous.
it
the
lifting
intend to
but
show of
fear
had so
stiff-
my
The muzquite so
zle of the
trouble in keeping
at
on
it,
threw
him some of
his
own
comprehending.
rascal,
by fum-
my bed ?"
Senor!
"Don't shoot,
My
blanket
was hunting
for
my
blanket."
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"Hunting what story
for
is
203
your blanket?
I
likely
that?" and
in
pointed toward
the court-yard,
it
his
horse,
which stood
company with my
valuables.
However
slim
my
stock of courage
enough of
it
may now
dime novel.
;
"Come,"
!
"there
's
your blanket
it,
now vamoose
I'll
it
or
bore a hole
in !"
to stuff
it.
Mounting
his
court-yard.
and
behind him.
The reason
around
the
fellow's
fumbling
my
feet
was
lucid enough.
He saw
that
I
me
had
lie
down
with
my
changed
my
position.
object,
204
doubtless,
WAGS OF THE
was
STAGE.
to get hold of
my
revolver.
it
might have.
And
probably
it
would have
been.
me and
it
know
but
Eusebio of
it
my
night's adventure,
and that
would be wise
I
up
My
did
Not a
we
see until
we reached
the suburbs of
Granada.
Like
all
cities
and thatched with grass or palm. In the city proper the houses are of one story, built
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
of adobe and roofed with
centuries
tiles.
205
Nearly four
founded, and
in
have passed since the city was at on^ time it was the richest
North America.
it
and
down
to a place of
little
or no importance.
It lies at
the foot
its
of the volcano
Momobacho
and, during
many a
ulation
The pop-
must drop my out-of-the-way tangents and take up the object of my visit boards. They could be had at only one place
But
I
or
and
at
cinqito
pesos,
$5.00 each.
bastard
trees of
feet
by
shape
La
Virgin.
return
I
On my
much
found
my
partner's
mind
may
contain a
little
206
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
amusement
Before
I tell it,
order to
lull
readers as
against
all
may
Nicaraguan laws relating to personal property are somewhat lax; at least, we found
them
so, as far
as their
owned was
session
;
his, so
it
long as
was
it,
in his pos-
when
slipped out of
no matter
how,
who was
And now
proached
had scarcely
partner ap-
when my
me
his
remember the
in-
"Why,
in it."
have
I
it
here,
and
's
in looking
it
over carefully,
find there
a ten-dollar pig
"Well?"
WILLIAM WHEATLEY,
"But
it is
207
I find
n't well,
my
boy.
Though
him no
where
else.
There
's
but no ten-dollar pig in it nor any other kind of one. Now I am rather fond of fresh pork, and think I am entitled to a slice of that pig.
My
palate
is
a pork chop
would
be more paradisal.
But why don't you take and try your luck in the woods? your gim The flesh of a bird or two might give your
palate a rest."
He
the bar.
"A good
idea,
my
it!
never thought of
Hand me
the
powder
horn and shot pouch out of that drawer, and if I don't bring you something in half an hour that
I
'11
will
lips,
my
days on beans and jerked beef !" He shouldered his gun and started for the
fifty feet in
208
up a book, and
seating myself in the shade at the front of the tent, passed away an hour, reading at
times,
lifting
my thoughts
into the
was suddenly startled by the squeal of a pig. At first the sound came faintly, as if
far away, then louder
at last
it
until
seemed
to
I
of the woods.
looked back.
managed
some way
to
legs.
While
my
drag the pig in one direction, the pig was trying equally hard to drag my partner the
opposite way.
plainly
owing to a mistake of Wheatley' s he had made his hitch at the wrong end.
As
he'
caught sight of
me
"For Heaven's
me
little
have to
let
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
him
go.
2O9
all
He
has
made my hands
a-
blister."
Then came another tug and another squeal, by which time I was on the field of
action,
"My
boy,
I 've
is
how do you
know he
is
our pig?"
I
"How
tell
do
know
If
is
it?
By
isn't
he
our
pig, please
me whose
pig
he?"
This "bit of logic" was more simple than sound; however, as I couldn't answer his
question, I didn't think
it
worth while to
I
merely
remarked
blistered;
"I don't
wrong end."
"I
my
dear fellow.
it
When
threw
my
it,
lasso, I
aimed
for one
and when
tightened the
2IO
rope
found
my
hitch, as
you rightly
say,
at the
end."
a Sisyphean task on
your hands."
"Sisyphean?
My
boy,
if
Sisyphus had
backward
work
am
sure that
little
have."
There was
doubt that
my partner had
all
that he
my
astonishment,
week
Without giv-
ing
me
"Joe, I
made
But there's no
mystery that hung around "that pig of ours." However, if there were any more of
in the
woods of
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
Nicaragua,
content to
211
my
partner
was
thenceforth
roam and forage in peace. The next steamer day was a notable one
let it
for us.
We
the
then famous
New
Orleans Serenaders
the
the
was
also
among
to be our
Virgin Bay
was always
interest,
few of them would become impatient and leave us, but the majority were satisfied to
remain
until
we
notified
them of the
arrival
we
from what
have
may
played an important
15
part.
They
did.
The
212
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
Other prominent features of the bill of fare were jerked beef, tortillas, or corn cakes,
plantains,
egg-s.
"bottled"
butter
is
and
barreled
("Bottled butter"
not in any
way
new and
It is
appe-
tizing
name
perhaps
needless to speak of the Nicaraguan barreled eggs, for they are not at all bashful
and,
if
for themselves.
rels of
We
the passengers.
times asked
me
If the question
were some-
as
it
often
was
"Hello
Landlord
eggs ?"
I
what's
the
matter
:
with these
If there's
That
's
the
eggs they lay down here." Sometimes the answer would be satisfac-
tory
if
the
man
were
Californian.
Northern men just from the States were more skeptical, and one of them, in reply
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
to
it
2I3
my
explanation, told
me
that he thought
"dern
strange
that a
Nicaraguan hen
like a
it
toy pistol."
Of
course,
the
Nicaraguan
it.
hen
had
laid,
nothing to do with
whom
fortune, or misfortune,
had thrown
have said that the day of the steamer's arrival was a notable one notable because
I
it
made
fleas
company of
was
and jiggers.
the night
When
the supper
gave
us
a
for
musical
program
especially
our entertainment.
was
then that
we heard
negro melody which afterwards became so popular and which has not yet lost its pop-
214
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
ularity
though fifty years have passed "The Old Folks at Home." It was sung by one of the Buckleys, and with so much
pathos that
the eyes of cheek.
that.
I
glisten in
Wheatley and trickle down his But there was nothing strange in
had an "Old Folk" of
his
He
own
at
memory
?
of that dear
After
the
program
came
champagne.
Jokes and anecdotes flew around, so did the bottle, and all were as merry as good company and good wine could make them.
of a glass
calls
"a
drinking man."
On
the contrary he
;
was
inclined to be abstemious
comfort compelled
it.
my
prudence constantly on guard," he said "I may take a glass, or even two, with impunity,
but
if I
go beyond
internal
that, the
indulgence
will
throw
my
up
mechanism out of
in towels
gear, and
tie
my
head
and
ice-
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
water for a week."
215
When
an accident of
was
curious.
He was
into
We
not
left
him seated
to
happen
again.
Then he
prudence a holiday.
And
he did.
The
and
up.
at breakfast time I
went
to look
him
Swung
in
hammock
at the
back
his head.
As
I
had
my
thought
would sharpen
"William,
it
little
we
they
're hot."
He
as though to
splitting apart.
Then he turned
2l6
over
in his
We
on us
had
now
been
in
Nicaragua
for
in
it
would take
"slugs."
up
But
Fortune
The
us so kindly
on the back, turned about, gave us a frown, and prepared to kick us out of Paradise with
a
flea in
in
our
bones.
And
The
this is the
old
it.
built a
large
sixty passengers.
at
them up
lay a
to their destination.
After a week
that the vessel
of weary waiting,
word came
coast,
wreck on the
miles
WILLIAM WHEATLEY,
21/
aragua companies, and the delayed passengers believed that the captain of the North
to
wreck
his vessel,
clearly proven.
Vanderbilt
steamers,
came
own
passengers, refused
Northern Light,
The passengers
let
dependence.
the
anathemas thundered
Commodore, but
as he
was too
away to some
way
of them
2l8
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
who were
They had
fall
back on
to-
The
diet
Sickness
broke out
many
the bones of
left his
home
left
were
tropical sun.
Bad
North America and rumored bribery of her captain were known in New York and San
Francisco before the sailing of the next
steamers.
The
result
was
disastrous.
line
The
dropped out
the
number of
insignificant that
we
opportunity
came.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
not always ready to
2ig
are
wanted.
for ours,
For ten tedious months did we wait longing and fretting for the time
;
and
it is
know
that
have hurried
However, "Hope springs eternal in the human breast," and it is a most fortunate
thing that
it
Shakspere "the
We
does, for
if
we
are to believe
medicine."
solved to remain, reasoning ourselves into the belief that things might take a turn for the better, and propping up the belief with
the consolation that
we
couldn't get
away
without the
sacrifice of all
we had
invested.
Days, weeks and months dragged their slow way along. Then, through the fog
of
our
ill-luck
we saw
is
the approach of
Of
course,
mean
Now, my
core,
"Old
220
was a
ants as an heirloom.
"My
day of
the
I
us,
and
intend to celebrate
it
with the
spirit
and glory
deserves."
"Celebrate
it?
Where
have a
is
your glory to
come from?
We
flag, I
know, but
where do you expect to get your fireworks " and the et ceteras, and
"Don't be alarmed,
my
boy.
am aware
As
for the
we have no
appreciated here
ct ceteras, as
we had them.
you
call
we two
Won't
these
make
noise
enough ?"
at a loss to find a
My
friend
was never
found a
when
could n't
be
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
221
many
of his
Now,
to
me
brated at home,
a nuisance.
The
smell of
man
of twenty-five that
it
bang of
pistols
But circumstances
times,
very materially.
We
were not
home.
We
were
in a foreign land,
and our
Yankee blood was now ready to gallop through its veins at the mere thought of the
day
at
in the habit of
when
at
home.
to get
My
program
a
for
"the day
we
the
celebrate"
was
success,
considering the
He made
and he made
it
an
effective one.
222
When
ficult
so
was
dif-
His delivery
was
and
with
the tact of
When
aloft,
wav-
whom
he saw, in his
and
their sacred
honor.
our cook,
whom Wheatley
had stationed
other
Three or four volleys were fired and then came the next thing on the program "Hail
:
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"Friends and Fellow Citizens:
I
223
did in-
may
do
not be
not
I will
on your trying
it.
But
insist
on
It
Now,
fol-
As my
and
ever attempted
it
To
task.
In
the
crowd of commemorators
who
stanzas.
of the
"play-
One more
gram
:
Company
for
224
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
and perhaps would have performed its part in a creditable maner, if its owner had been
present to keep
its
It
and
upon going through these before obliging us with "Yankee Doodle" that
it
insisted
My
his
was annoyed at this hitch in program, and again mounted his barrel.
partner
now
take an in-
and also to give that box a chance to have its way. There 's no particular hurry we can
;
wait.
When
it
its
own
program maybe
it will consent to go on Fourth of July without a with ours. 'Yankee Doodle' would indeed be like the
Dane
was
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
225
Then, as
it
if
stubbornness,
began
"Yankee Doodle"
it,
until,
exhaust-
along and
The
celebration
was now
over,
and the
way homeward
or
as straight as cir-
And
the
many
we made
to sell out
and get away. Suffice it to say that at the end of our twelfth month I suggested to
Wheatley
that
we
its
contents at auction.
"Auction ?
"Here,"
Where
's
I replied.
"You?
Greasers,
As
how do you
expect to
make them
understand what you are talking about?" If they but under"I '11 manage that.
stand what they want,
I
know enough
of
226
their lingo to
that
if
it
As
as they consisted of
hammocks and
however,
articles,
in
bad
whiskey.
The
crockery,
New
At
York.
the end of the sale
we had
a few hun-
now
still
During our
stay
we had been
merchant named Ferguson, from whom we had purchased flour and other stuff needed
by our
hotel,
Under
these circumstances
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
said he didn't feel like paying the
it
227
especially as
bill, more would take the bulk of what we had realized on our sale to do it.
"Well, William,"
man
that
of influence in
bill
is
settled in
bodies until
it is."
"Do you
for
think so
Well, suppose
we send
him and give him a note payable in three months after date. A bit of paper of that
kind will be of less use to us than 'our precious bodies' and
may
be of more use to
him."
to take the
"My
Let her chase you, if she will, but don't run to meet her. I think Ferguson would much
rather have the note than be bothered with
Anyway, we
him
will
So we
the
$400 note drawn up on the stamped paper of the country, and the next morning were
16
228
on our way across the lake and down the river to take passage on the Prometheus for
at
During
ped
at
we
stop-
two-story
frame building, the second floor of which was one large room, about thirty feet square,
containing
twelve
cots.
The
first
night,
man
in the
added another
to the sick
'T was on our seventh day that the Prometheus steamed into the harbor, and
I
will
with which
to bid
we both
the world.
been swallowed up in
maw
of those
we were about
to leave behind.
to
Wheatley during
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
the entire voyage to
229
for
weeks
I
for myself,
took up
Hotel,
my
French's
making daily visits to the home of my friend, who was then living with his mother
and
sister in
22nd
street.
I
was crossing
the City
my head began to reel and my bend and wabble after the fashion
The
reader, however,
the bottle.
must
n't
jump
at
that conclusion.
for
the
which had been planted in me at Greytown, were now sprouting with alarming vigor. I never could have wabbled
its
and
seeds,
fifty
me
who saw my
feet.
me on my
and up to
He
helped
me
I
my room
with the
where
fiery fever
it
burning into
my
brain
and
filling
230
me,
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
my
daily
visits,
came
home.
and took
me
my-
to her
Gradually
while
I
my
partner began
to conva-
lesce,
other way.
was going step by step the How far I went the other way
My
ed to ed
my
pillow as firmly as
were chainstrange
I
there.
Then,
through
some
was
much-be-puffed
liquor
"Schiedam
in getting
;
Schnapps;" but Mrs. Wheatley, before she gave it, deemed it safer to ask the doctor's
permission.
it
:
it
can
make no
now."
did
make
a differ-
single teaspoonful of
loosened
its
grip.
At
spoonful,
day
it let go altogether, and the third was out of bed and down stairs. By
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
the aid of ten
23 1
more
days, I gathered
in that Quaker on the banks of dozing the Delaware and which the sarcastic Goth-
start for
and reach
my home
settlement which
lies
amites
call
"The City of
Sleepiness
and
Brotherly Love."
I will relieve
if
he has any
what
its
have written
is
an advertisement
has
proprietor.
The
all
latter, I believe,
gone the
puffery.
way As for
I
of
flesh
and needs no
his
for
aught
to
enough
know, may have been dead follow him and take their place
among
determined to return to the stage, and did so, taking the management of Ford's Theatre
in Baltimore.
The
fol-
manager for Thomas J. Hemphill, who was then the lessee of the Arch. When the season expired he leased the Arch with
as co-partner,
and
232
opened
it
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
Crowded
was evident
St.
Drew's Arch
Company" were
Nearly three years had passed since we left Nicaragua, and during that time neither
Wheatley nor myself had given a thought to that Greytown note. I had accepted a position in the
box
office of the
when
the
by an inquiry
I
at
face Wheatley?" seemed familiar and yet I was in doubt. His features were those of our friend Ferguson
looked at the
man whose
when
last
saw him weighed at least two hundred and fifty pounds, while the man before me would have had some trouble
at half that weight. to tip the scales
flabbily
on his shoulders, touching nowhere else, and could have been buttoned on his back.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
"Mr. Wheatley
is
233
not in at present.
But
pardon me," I said, "have n't I met you before? Aren't you Mr. Ferguson of Greytown? I thought you were dead."
"You
my
my
being dead
although
I
not got
when
I did.
How
long be-
replied,
and then
he
me
saying he would
call again.
When
Wheatley came
in I said to
him:
anxious to meet."
"Not anxious
I
is
know
he ?"
of none
Who
"Ferguson, of Greytown."
Wheatley threw up both hands, as if he had been hit below the belt with a Minie
ball.
"Great God!
I said,
That note!"
it.
"Yes,"
note
is
is
We
received
234
nothing for
tion.'
WAGS OF THE
and
I
'11
STAGE.
it,
"
will
"That
cess,
its
"Then
'11
plead 'duress.'
"
futile.
The
came
vol-
untarily
from ourselves.
We
were
entirely
mistake
bill
we made was
was
restrained,
a leg or
two
we
in
limbo unless
;
was
settled in
inary
justice,
duress,'
in
of a hair.'
"Well,
my
may
He
the
did fight
it,
and the
T
"bitter
end" turn-
thought.
With
all
squirmings
of a Philadelphia
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
235
lawyer at his back, he was forced to pay the note, with nearly three years' interest.
The Old Arch has had both ups and downs in its day. When Wheatley and Drew took
hold of
it,
one
hundred
and
thirty-four shares,
was
selling at
reputation of the theatre from out the mud, and dainty Fashion, that had for years avoid-
ed
it
as a pest house,
its
now condescended
to
become
regular patron.
During Wheatley's connection with the Arch it was under the control of four different
lesseeships:
Thomas
J.
Hemphill's,
Wheatley & Drew's, Wheatley & Clarke's, and that of Wheatley alone. He retired from its management in June, 1861, and then
leased
now
He
was
his chief
motive
The
play
was pro-
its
236
girls,
burned to death.
and
that
was Wheatley's presence of mind prevented a panic and the loss of, perit
The
theatre at that
street,
and
room
of the ballet
was on the
had
street.
On
risen
book
in
his
men
The
were
built
on a
and
slopthis
di-
ing frame
was
now
stood
The
gan
and
play commenced.
The
the
little
ship be;
to rock
and
toss
upon
;
mimic waves
way
might
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
237
have been jealous of; the audience cheered and clapped and stamped, and then above
the din of
all
there
came a piercing
shriek,
rolled
from the wings and out upon the stage. Before the audience had time to discover what
the object was, the
men
at the
it,
wrapped the
ley rang
sea cloth
round
down
the curtain.
His
first
was
from the danger of a panic. He did not stop to know all that he was soon to know. The
shriek,
fire told
the
crash
him too
plainly that
he possessed
he
walked
:
down
to the
an accident which
down
we
will pro-
the
orchestra
to
Here
his eyes
238
make
steadiest
girls,
nine
mind
to lose its
clothes
burned
off
them,
and
their
Wheatley paused but a moment to say to the call boy "Go front and tell Mr. Whit:
ton that
I shall
Then picking
his
:
voice
"Ladies and
to
The
accident
which
thought.
it
The
that
it
much
excited over
Please go out."
They went
in
own
time
doing it, which they scarcely would have done had they known that the back of the
theatre
was on
fire.
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
not
239
know
until they
many an
mward thank
to
ward expression of
coolness had saved
man whose
them the
cost of a crushlife.
ed limb,
if
The
The
gas lights in the dressing-room were not enclosed with wire screens, as
is
now
the cus-
girls
took
by coming in contact with them. Her companions crowded around her to smother
it,
and
in a
few minutes
all
were
ablaze.
There was plenty of combustible matter in the room, and this also caught the flames,
carrying them into the carpenter shop above,
and setting
fire
to the theatre.
The burned
pital.
girls
were taken
to the hoslittle
They
while,
then, one by one, their lives flickered out, and the body of each was carried to its grave
240
Having given an
my
friend's
give another to
its
a male acquaintance of
myself.
but a stranger to
him,
my
der to
me
you the best friend I have in the world. You may have heard me speak of him."
in
my
ear
"What
I
the deuce
is
me
wondering whether a forgetfulness, daring enough to drive my name from his memto
ory,
would
n't
recol-
lection of his
own.
Now
one,
let
Continental.
a temporary
to expire he
made
duced
proposition
to
the owner, E. P.
at a re-
Christy, of
New
WILLIAM WHEATLEY,
24 1
Davenport and Wallack that they were about to take Niblo's Garden for three months,
and asking
the venture.
if
he would
n't
join
them
in
tele-
gram
"Will
you accept
yes or no."
my
offer?
"No."
It
make
little
or
mar
"No" hung
him
New
success,
pectation of Jarrett,
lack.
they became discouraged, and backed out, leaving Wheatley the sole lessee. John Collins,
was during
his first
week
242
From
ebb.
began to
profitable
week was a
one,
and
this
an engagement, by
to forgive
it
man
and
for-
were a fancied
one, and he had long labored under the impression that his stage reputation had been
injured
called
brook no forgiveness.
The manner
of the
mjury was
lessee of the
this
Arch he chanced
bringing
title role.
so,
and through
fear of trampling
Mayor
if
had
:
in
"Jack Cade."
rights at
all.
Conrad's
answer was
"No
You
are at
you choose."
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
243
Ten
still
the recollection of
something
the
was flourishing
recollection of his
ment
in
theatre open to
tion
and ambi-
would
Niblo's.
permit him to play in, save Wheatley was not only willing, but
to
most desirous
finally the
mutual friends of both put their heads together, a reconciliation followed, and the
engagement was consummated. This was the inauguration of the extravagant rates paid to successful
stars.
Forrest's
He
grew
cautious.
He
thought
there
stars,
was a
17
risk in
and determined
to avoid
244
and
to
for his
Had
hundred dollars a week, the difference between that and the sum he actually paid him, which averaged nearly three thousand
per
week,
pocket.
policy,
would have gone into his own However, he was satisfied with his
and so much
so, that
he offered Barfol-
with
ed his lease at
was
to be paid in forty
each.
was
raised to
to $20,000.
one
the
production
of
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
245
gtierite."
The
piece
Roberts
It
was
have
said, the
only one
And now
and come
to
I will step
1866
as
decreed should brim with luck for Wheatley, well as for a pair of other managers,
equally well
known
June
May or
have
forgotten
which
of
that
year, Jarrett and Palmer returned from Europe, whither they had gone for the purpose
open the coming season in New York. They had found their novelty, and now fixed
to
on Niblo's as the theatre best adapted for its exhibition. They lost no time in
their eye
calling
on Wheatley, and
in the interview
:
"William,
we
I
have
think
brought
is
we
"What
is
the something?"
246
"A Grand
lantic.
and
it?"
grander
one
Now, we
;
will
is
make you
a proposal."
this:
in
and myself
management of
on
its
have a multitude
Paris.
we can
in-
in
They
to
scription,
and alone
enough
make
may
Wheatley accepted their proposal at once, an agreement was signed, and the partnership consummated.
Then came
the piece be?"
the question:
"What
any?"
shall
"Have you
Wheatley.
thought
of
asked
"
its
room
one objection
it,
to
it.
every
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
concert saloon in
247
be playing
New York
"
will
we
wait a
day or two.
Something
else
may
turn up."
"Something
Charles
M.
Barras, a
New York
it
had written a
He
had carried
around
months, hoping and vainly striving to get some manager bold enough to take hold of it.
Whethei- he had heard of the quandary the
in,
know
not;
is
more than
likely that
he had, else he
How-
ever, be that as
script to
was
"Two
may
New York
At
all
city.
I
You know
my
play
worth
it.
events
I will ac-
cept no
less."
248
"Well,
Jarrett
will consult
let
with
and
Palmer,
and
you
know
insist
"There
on,
is
another condition
must
Mr.
Wheatley,
piece."
"What
is
that?"
is
no intermission
in the
Now, of much
speak
the Black
literary
of,
and but
originality, being
a conglomeration of the
"Naiad Queen," "Lurline," "Undine," and a few other spectacular chestnuts. But literary merit
for.
looking
j
was not what Wheatley was He wanted a piece with opand the Black
full
Crook was
piece the
of them.
He wanted
title
In
all
fact,
he
alone,
worth
that Bar-
demanded
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
Whether
249
Jarrett
was another
Wheatley showed them the manubut when he told them the price that
it,
man
must be crazy.
"Two
thousand dollars?
Why, we can
outright."
we
can
own
I
if
am
con-
vinced that
would be
difficult,
not imprice, so
any
However, we
discuss
the
do."
The
night's sleep
a contract
by and Palmer agreed to pay Chas. M. Jarrett Barras the sum of two thousand dollars, in
consideration of which they were to have the
sole right to play the
Black Crook
in
New
f
I
York
city,
pro-
250
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
These clever managers made one mistake. If their cleverness had been a little more
sharp-sighted, and could have looked a few-
months
into
futurity,
it
have rested content with the right to play the Crook in one city, but would have left no
stone unturned to secure the right for
all
In other words, they would have cities. Before it tried to buy the piece outright.
had been produced, Barras, in all probability, would have snapped at an offer of $10,-
000
in spot cash; a
month afterwards
that
Reports
of
the
play's
success
had
country.
letters,
Managers were flooding him with begging him to sell them the right
and before the Crook was
had placed
little
it
six
Its
months
old,
in the pocket of
sum
of $60,000 in
royalties.
Let us
now
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
the
for
25 1
money
the
it
was ready
public
its
anxious that
about the
first
week
September, and, to
of the intervening
moment
Unfortunately there
these
was
a considerable
n't
number of
moments
which did
belong to them.
The Ravels
gagement which had six weeks yet to run, and they insisted upon playing it out. They were not making much money, either for
themselves or the management, yet nothing but a check for ten thousand dollars could
induce them to change their mind, and cancel their
engagement.
They got
were
the money,
and
the
managers
then free to go
out, the
ahead.
The
old stage
it
was taken
earth beneath
ficient for the
stage put
in.
Never before, on either side of the Atlantic, had a stage been constructed so complete for Its purpose, and so complicated in its mechanism.
Its cost
dollars.
252
Crook September
laid
10,
1866
the
and
night
management had
out
fifty-five
thousand
bills
Their
sum
at five thou-
sand
tual
less,
The
ac-
cost
the opening
after,
some time
and
be what
have named.
The
In five weeks
was phenomenal.
As
running expenses for that time were about thirty-one thousand five hundred, or
a
little
and handed a
little
managers.
There was one thing that helped materiI ally to swell the success of the Crook
mean
the
upon
play
by the
New York
Herald.
The
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
In July,
1865, the showman's
253
way.
mu-
seum was burned to the ground. Bennett fancied that the site would be an eligible
one for the erection of a new Herald Build-
fairly
done
smoking, he opened negotiations with the owner of the land for securing a fee title,
and also with Barnum for purchasing the remainder of his lease. Real estate experts
having told Bennett that the fee to the property was worth $400,000, he signed a bond
agreeing to pay the owner $100,000 in cash,
and
He
mortgage for $400,000 more. was willing to pay the $100,000 over and
to give a
fee, as
he
was anxious
once, and
to
commence
his building at
his offer,
vented
delay.
which
money.
trouble.
And
the
the
knew nothing of
254
the
WAGS OF THE
existence
STAGE.
of
Barnum's
property,
or
they
what he
asked
in
for
amount
their
much
been paid in
the world.
New York
On
that,
notwithstanding
agreement,
fee.
he
con-
Then he
owner
told
was not
of
the
land,
would greatly oblige him by handing back his $200,000. But the worldly-minded Bar-
num
light.
He
're
in his pocket,
it
and
there.
"You
Barnum ?"
"Seriously so."
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
255
"Then
gret
it."
all I
have to say
is
that
you
'11
re-
After the
fire
Barnum had
following his
interview
with
Bennett
he
was
n't there.
Then
he sought for the reason of its omission, and got it from old Bennett himself:
"Mr.
Barnum,
hereafter,
don't
it
want
any
at
This was not pleasant information for the showman. He was about to start another
columns,
knew
advertising medium.
my advertisement,
for this,
Well,
'11
hey? and
method of making the Scotchman The day after Bennett "sweat" was this
His
:
had refused
256
Manameeting of the Board of Associate Bennett's action, and of gers, and told them
then
made
a motion that
all
the managers,
a body,
withdraw
their advertising
and
New York
Herald.
The
William Wheatley's and Lester WalThen another motion was made and
:
lack's.
carried
New York
Herald/
all
Whether
to lose
this
any of
;
not say
he did
n't part
with enough of
to
his
mind and
ment.
insert the
advertise-
managers were
the play
full
of conjecture regarding
when
looked for
silence
or
it.
They preferred
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
257
Now,
was
to
if
prevent
But
can-
intention.
He
had
newspaper man long enough to know the foibles of human nature, and also to know that since the days of Adam and Eve
curiosity has been
its
mainspring.
There-
were meant
Crook.
to
is
help,
There
Wheatley's friendly disposition toward him and his paper as evidenced at the meeting of the Board of Managers and as he could n't,
stirring
The following
abuse, and
I
is
Bennett
had
managers of the Black Crook to pay for a few more samples of the same sort, he could have commanded
asked
his
own
price,
whatever
it
258
"Nothing in any Christian country, or in modern times, has approached the indecent
and demoraHzing exhibition at Wheatley's
Theatre in this
city.
The Model
Artists are
more
respectable
and
less disgusting,
because
something
women do
which
men
slip in fe-
stealthily to see.
"Of
course,
Wheatley
is
It is just
excitement, and
characters
rient tastes,
cities.
and
Then
in
many
thing.
people
who come
must
new
We
shocking performance.
It
who come
town expressly
"Nothing, as
....
we have
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
259
We
can imagine
morrah such another place and scene, such a theatre and spectacle on the Broadway of
those
doomed
cities just
before
fire
stone rained
"There was,
and scenes
buried
in
we
was
beneath
We
may
on account of the many good people there But that does not are in New York
do away with the guilt of tolerating or perthat mitting such an exhibition to exist as
at
Wheatley's.
it
Our
respectable
citizens
should cry
arrest all
lic
police should
who
a watchful daughters, and their wards, bear walls of Niblo's eye, and keep them out the
26o
WAGS OF THE
STAGE.
of
to
its
warnings and advice, are determined gaze on the indecent and dazzling brilof
the Black
liancy
Crook,
they should
the
The
New
York, made
use of
all his
pure innocence of the Gothamites from being soiled by coming in contact with the
Black
since
Crook.
its
Two
popularity and
the
power of
attraction.
"Now," thought
"it is
reverend gentleman,
me
will
and
show
So he stepped
stitute
in
New
York,
ser-
Naked Truth."
The
mon was
quality
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
way, which
is
26 1
said to have
New
Yorker.
it is
This
may
whether
away from
it:
Niblo's.
Here
is
a specimen
of
is
with
.
particular
establishment
which
has
know
not what
the
mo-
whom
can
belongs, to get up
sights.
Who
tell
human
nature in gen-
eral is
of the
busy and careworn, by giving the latter an opportunity, on as low terms, almost, as the
most extravagant places of amusement, of seeing by gas-light and hell-fire light, and in
the bronzed light of His Satanic Majesty's
262
from head
to foot
with an exquisiteness of perfection far surpassing any that the finest art of man has
wrought in Parian marble, with charms more bewitching and attitudes of softness and luxury most fascinating
ever
who
If there
tened to
seen
were any among those that listhis sermon, who had not as yet
it
is
more than
likely they
no time
in taking a glimpse.
The reverend gentleman's crusade, howHis first ever, came to an untimely end.
sermon,
much
The Trustees
and refused
of the
were not
satisfied
any further display of it upon their premises. Moreover, one of them uncharitably suggested that Mr. Smyth's motive in preach-
its
managers.
so.
was
in a po-
WILLIAM WHEATLEY.
sition to
263
know
all
Crook, and, in justice to the reverend gentleman, as well as to the managers themselves,
little
truth as
sixteen
Wheatley
from the management of Niblo's with three hundred thousand dolAmbition would probably
have tempted other men to reach for more. My friend's ambition was not of that stripe.
He
thought he
now had
all
of this world's
goods he would ever need, and was content. Never again did he indulge in theatrical the uncertainty "flyers," for he was aware of
that
surrounds them.
Age was
flirt
creeping
his
with Fortune.
True, she had been kind to him of late "more kind than is her custom ;" but he knew
her for a
dis-
her posed to give her the chance of changing from him that which she mind, and
filching
to grant.
264
And now,
a
my
let
narrative,
and
me
close with
word or two
of
it.
in
memory
ject
lives,
and hold the respect of those who knew him. It is true he had his frailties
to catch
for all
he was
In truth a
man
of
men
of sense refined
Whose
As
mind;
actor, too,
where stands
the Art he
X_
2217 W6lw