IeltsWritingTask.net The elderly people of over 50 years of age should be retired and be replaced by the young.

Do you agree or disagree? Answer: A considerable percentage of the population in a country is elderly people who have reached to the age of fifties. It is always argued that they should be replaced by the young people who are high in body strength or intellectual power. However there are some distinct advantages of replacing the elderly people by the young. On one hand the young are innovative thinking, efficient and have much strength which is useful in hard work. On the other hand the elderly people are slow to complete tasks, inefficient, traditional and often refuse to alter the conventional strategies which they have practice regularly. Therefore in the point of view of a country, the young who entail for superb outcome are the most eligible to receive the future of the country. Additionally the young are scholars who have accumulated thorough knowledge while some elderly people are completely ignorant in certain fields such as computer and internet which are the keys to modern sophisticated life. Although they lack the talents of learning, the young people are keen to learn and hence deserve to attain awards for their incalculable knowledge. In contrast, the elderly people are the stores of experiences which can not gain via any type of education. Management skills which induces merely from practice but not from books, is a best illustration for that. Furthermore it will be an inhumanity to treat them oddly at this age which they necessitate an income in order to hoard for the rest of the life, after absorbing the cream of their energy. Therefore I disagree with the given statement because they are valuable although they contribute less towards the community. They should not be sent home as a respect for the experience they have and for the work they did

THIS CHECK REVIEWS THE GRAMMAR ERRORS, LATER WE DEAL WITH THE PLAN AND COMPOSITION.
The elderly people of over 50 years of age should be retired and be replaced by the young. Do you agree or disagree? Answer: A considerable percentage of the population in a country is elderly people who have reached to are elderly people (is vs are, single vs plural) the age of fifties. It is always argued that they should be replaced by the young people who are the; optional because not specific, high in body strength or intellectual power. High is not correct, you could say have a lot of body strength, but 'a lot of' is basic, However there are some distinct advantages of replacing the elderly people by the young. On one Use however to contrast, your sentence agrees with the previous sentence. hand the young are innovative thinking, efficient and have much strength which is useful in hard It is more common to say 'a lot of' in affirmative sentences. The preposition is for not in. work. On the other hand the elderly people are slow to complete tasks, inefficient, traditional and often refuse to alter the conventional strategies which they have practice regularly. Therefore in

Would sound better to say their conventional strategies, think about the tense here, have practiced. From the point of view of, in this context from not in. the point of view of a country, the young who entail for superb outcome are the most eligible to Wrong use of entail and superb difficult to understand sentence. Possibly: the young who are expected a superp future.... receive the future of the country. Receive the future doesn't make sense, possibly make the future of the country... Additionally the young are scholars who have accumulated thorough knowledge while some elderly people are completely ignorant in certain fields such as computer and internet which are Maybe a little aggresive? (completely ignorant), how old do you think the examiners are? such as computer and the internet the keys to modern sophisticated life. Although they lack the talents of learning, the young Wrong use of Although, check out this link , (In this sentence Although is associated with 'the young' so both part of the sentence conflict each other). people are keen to learn and hence deserve to attain awards for their incalculable knowledge. Awards usually mean prizes and I doubt that was your intention. Keen to learn vs incalculable knowledge....do they really agree? In contrast, the elderly people are the stores of experiences which can not gain via any type of In contrast would mean it is different, but you have mentioned, incalculable knowledge and contrast it with lots of experience, it doesn't make sense. Stores of experience isn't correct. which you can not gain which can not be gained education. Management skills which induces merely from practice but not from books, is a best ...skills which are obtained.... is the best.... illustration for that. Furthermore it will be an inhumanity to treat them oddly at this age which will vs would, definite or conditional? Oddly isn't the best word, differently is fine. they necessitate an income in order to hoard for the rest of the life, after absorbing the cream of their energy. Save (money), hoard isn't the correct word to use. Therefore I disagree with the given statement because they are valuable although they contribute less towards the community. They should not be sent home as a respect for the out of respect, not as a respect. experience they have and for the work they did

Hi We need to look at the structure of this essay, ideally the essay could be structured better, for example, arguments contained in paragraphs, separating the paragraphs to form neat 'paragraph blocks'. Then we have therefore, however, although practically everywhere, which isn't good, try to learn how and when to use them, also try to limit them to the necessary. I suggested using 'a lot' for some sentences, this is better than many, however if you want to gain a higher grade you will need more sophisticated vocabulary. For example: stores of experience, a lot of experience, or extremely knowledgeable. Try following the structure at the end of the document taken from the HongKong pdfs: Introduction. 1st Sentence: This will not use the exact question but will rephrase it to mean something similar. 2nd Sentence will offer the background the context of your text.

3rd Sentence will be a brief outline of your essay and ought not to be confused with the fourth. 4th Sentence will briefly state your personal opinion. White space 1 White space 2 5th Sentence will introduce the first body text, the next three sentences (6th,7th, and 8th) will support it. White space 3 White space 4 9th Sentence will introduce the second body text, the next three sentences (10th,11th, and 12th) will support it. White space 5 White space 6 13th Sentence: To conclude, In conclusion, On balance etc, then restate your own personal opinion. 14th Sentence is a brief summary of the earlier points. On the whole it was an ambitious attempt, your errors were basic so they will be easy to remedy. All the best Ben Worthington
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