The Impact of Our

Speech
By Rabbi Joshua Flug

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I.

Introduction-This shiur outline is part I of a series on communication. It will focus on

how we speak and the type of language that we use.

II.

Avoiding Negative Language

a. The Gemara cites a number of examples where the Torah goes out of its way to
express something in a more positive manner. For example, the animals in Parashas
Noach are referred to as as opposed to . {}
b. R. Zerachiah HaLevi (Ba'al HaMa'or c. 1125-1186) notes that although the Torah
does use the word in a number of places, there is a difference between a context
whose purpose is to have people refrain from tumah and a categorization of animals.
To mention in the context of the animals on the was not instructive and
therefore, the Torah didn't use the word . However, when the Torah instructs one
to refrain from something, the Torah uses that word explicitly. {}
i. There is a story regarding the Vilna Gaon (1720-1797), where the dayan of
Vilna wanted to tell the Vilna Gaon something about the Chasidim. The Vilna
Gaon stopped him and told him that sometimes we need to express things a
certain way because there is no other choice. However, when one has the
option to avoid negativity, one should do so. {}
ii. Rabbeinu Yonah (d. 1263) has a different approach to Ba'al HaMa'or's
question as to why the Torah states explicitly. He suggests that during the
time of Noach, those animals were kosher and their was only for the
purpose of korbanos. Therefore, it is considered to call perfectly edible
food . {}

III.

The Concept of Nivul Peh

a. The Gemara has very strong language regarding one who violates nivul peh. The
Gemara doesn't really define what nivul peh is but gives one example: Everyone
knows why a couple gets married, but if one discusses it, it is a violation of nivul peh.
{}
b. The Midrash provides a source for the prohibition against nivul peh from the verse
(Devarim 23:15) " " which the derasha is . This means
that nivul peh is discussions relating to sexuality. {}
i. The Yerushalmi also mention this derasha of but doesn't apply to it
to nivul peh, but rather to reciting keri'as sh'ma while one is not dressed. {}
c. Rambam (1138-1204) categorizes different types of speech into five different
categories. In listing examples of prohibited speech, he includes nivul peh. {}
d. R. Moshe Chaim Luzzatto (1707-1746) writes that all five senses must be free of any
association with or and therefore, nivul peh is prohibited. {}

e. We often hear the term nivul peh used in association with using words that are
considered "curse" or "swear" words. What is the source for refraining from these
types of words?
i. These words are definitely no better than calling something instead of
.
ii. Maseches Derech Eretz Rabbah states that one who is a good person but uses
inappropriate language is comparable to a nice palace that has an open sewage
pipe running through it. {}
iii. Rambam writes that Hebrew is called because there are no formal
terms in Hebrew for acts of sexuality or excrement. Rather the terms that are
used are respectful ways of describing these acts (e.g. connotes entrance,
connotes exit (. Rambam explains that these terms should not be
mentioned unnecessarily and certainly there should no formal name for them.
Therefore, when there is a need to mention these ideas, it is mentioned in a
remez. {}
IV.

The importance of speaking like a "mentsch"

a. The Gemara quotes a Beraisa that ' means (in addition to the simple
understanding) that you should bring about a love of God in others. Included in this
is speaking in a manner that others will say . {}
i. Rambam mentions this idea in the context of what is considered kiddush
HaShem/chilul HaShem. {}
ii. Rambam also writes that a talmid chacham should speak in a way that is
befitting. {}
iii. Ramban (1194-1270) in his "writes about the importance of
speaking in a soft tone so that it doesn't lead to anger. {}

V.

Speaking Positively
a. Having a positive outlook on life is certainly a Jewish concept. The most striking
example of this is the beracha of . The Gemara states that one must accept
death with a certain degree of simcha. The Gemara also connects this to R. Akiva's
statement . {}
i. R. Yosef D. Soloveitchik (1903-1993) asks: If we are always supposed to see
things as being for the good, why are there two different berachos? Why not
recite even for death? He explains that we are entitled to see
things as negatively at the current moment, but we must see understand that
any given event will be considered positive at some future time. Therefore,
we recite with the acknowledgment that we might not understand the
future good that will come from it. {}

b. R. Akiva's attitude that we must see everything as being for the best is expressed in a
number of stories involving R. Akiva and his colleagues:
i. The Gemara relates that when R. Eliezer was ill, his students came to visit him
and when they saw him suffering, they started to cry. R. Akiva was smiling
and explained that until now he was nervous that R. Eliezer had such a good
life and that he would lose some of his reward in the world to come because
he was never punished in this world. Now that he sees R. Eliezer suffering, he
is confident that he will get his full reward in the world to come. {}
ii. The Gemara also relates two stories about how R. Akiva had a positive
attitude toward the churban habayis. {}
c. When Yisro hears about the great miracles that happened to the Jewish people, he
states " ' ." {} The Gemara comments that Yisro's statement
makes Moshe Rabbeinu and the Jewish people look bad because they never said
"Baruch HaShem." {}
i. The obvious question is: Why did the Gemara ignore the shirah as a recitation
of Baruch HaShem?
d. R. Chaim Ya'akov Goldvicht (1924-1995) writes that there is a difference between
shirah and hoda'ah. [Click here to access entire piece.] Speech is the bridge between
the physical body and the soul. Just as animals don't speak, our physical essence
doesn't have the ability to speak without introducing some of spiritual (or intellectual)
essence. {} When the Jewish people sang shirah, it was a total spiritual experience.
Their expression was guided totally by their spiritual experience. Yet, hoda'ah is an
expression of gratitude by giving of oneself, by admitting that one is not worthy to
receive those blessings and thanking God for them. It is an elevation of the
physicality to a higher level. The Gemara's comments that Yisro was the first to say
' was a comments that while the Jewish people were able to reach great spiritual
heights in praising God for the miracles, they still didn't elevate their physical beings
to recognize the good in daily life. {}
i. People who constantly express gratitude to God for their wellbeing are
generally more positive people.
e. There is a recent article in Time Magazine on how optimism can actually contribute
to longevity.

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