Modern Family

Family is considered to be one of the most important things in a persons life. It helps determine who they are, what they grow up to be, what traditions they pass on from generation to generation, who they surround themselves with. Some may have never had a family to help sculpt and mold them so they must determine themselves how they should go about their lives. Many people chose who they want in their family chosen kin and others decide that they wouldnt want a family at all. Whatever the decision made families of all shapes and sizes for centuries have had their role in this society. Society too has had its influence on families. As times and ideas change so has the family along with its traditions, child rearing techniques, career paths etc. Like technology, families have gotten a little more modern. Everyone one enjoys a good laugh here and there. What some do not know is that along with laughter and entertainment can come information or enlightenment. Political satire for example whether through pictures or television programs help inform the people on political issues while giving them a good laugh along the way. Though its not taking the approach of poking fun at Obama and his policies the television show Modern Family too informs us about issues in our society in a comedic style. One would think it was just a show but the concepts are actually the many concerns of people today. Set in our time, the families on this show resemble the thousands of families in the United States, facing similar issues. The show takes the form of a documentary the critics describe it as a mockumentary. It follows a father, his daughter and son and their families. Unlike the traditional documentaries that usually target a specific group with a specific interest this television program is intended for the public. The purpose of the show is to demonstrate that families take different forms. Specifically to this show there are three families who are intertwined into one larger family: the

traditional family, the bicultural family and the Gay family. Each family faces their own problems that the public can relate to. Showing that though they may look different they are still families. In our minds we have a picture of what a quintiessential family should consist of. This show doesnt erase that picture rather it modifies it. The show opens the minds of many who are stuck in this Cleaver Family mindset. Though one of the main families is considered to be traditional the show itself challenges the whole concept. That particular family may not be traditional enough in how they raise their children or how the parents communicate with each other. So what determines a true traditional family? One way or another each family deviates from this idea. This show reassures the public that particular families are not hurting out society or our children as many had thought it would have in the past. Each family has a story of their own just as our families do. The traditional family consists of a heterosexual married couple, Claire and Phil Dunphy, raising their three children, Haley, Alex and Luke. If child rearing isnt hard enough the parents must deal with a rebellious teenage daughter, a smart mouth middle child, and the only son. Claire is considered to be a homemaker. She was once a successful business woman who gave up her career once she became pregnant with their first child. She now makes sure that the house is cleaned, the food is prepared, and her family is well behaved. She is very controlling but doesnt want to look like the bad guy so whatever decisions she makes, she makes her husband enforce it. Phil is very involved in his childrens lives. He is the self-proclaimed cool dad. He uses the latest lingo, hes up to date with the latest technology, and he tries not to be as harsh with the kids as his wife wants him to be. He rather be their friend, than just plain old dad. In

season one episode four he says act like a parent, talk like a peer. I call it peer-renting. He knows all the moves to High School Musical which he believed would get his childrens approval instead it leads to constant embarrassment. Haley the eldest tries not to interact with her parents as much as possible by staying attached to her cell phone and her boyfriend. Alex, tries not to be her sister and points out the flaws of her siblings. Luke is thought to lack common sense. Though masked as a traditional one, this family is far from it. Weve all seen different parents raise their children different ways. For some certain tactics may work and for other it doesnt. many young parents hate the way they were brought up and either do the exact opposite of their parents or subconsciously do the same. In todays society mothers and fathers are suppose to be at work and leave the child-raising to either the teachers, the nanny or the television screen. The idea of a mother taking off work to be at home to some seems a little prehistoric. Taking advantage of the gender shift women are climbing up on the economic ladder. The number of women today that are partners in law firms, doctors, business women is far much greater than a decade or so ago. Women are focusing on their careers and actually have children later than usual. Unfortunately some career focused women have chosen not to have children at all because according to Ann Crittenden there is a difference in wages between mothers and non-mothers. The gap is so significant that it is larger than the difference in wages between young men and women. Some may argue the reason for this is because many companies or businesses cannot afford a paid maternity leave. (Crittenden,2001:701) Claire however chooses to take a different path. Living off the Phils income alone allows them to live comfortably. The child rearing part they dont have down pat. The idea of wanting to be the childs friend instead of the parent isnt uncommon. Many older parents would say that this is

impossible. The essential idea however is communication. With the dangers of the world around parents cant help but to wonder what their children are doing. Thus they try to treat the children as equals instead of subjects. This may work for some families but not for Phil. However Phil is applauded for his efforts. According to Scott Coltrane the involvement of fathers has slowly gone downhill. (Coltrane,2004: 417). Teenagers are the hardest ones to communicate with. They have a sense of independence and want to be treated as adults. Telling a teenager what to do usually results in constant bickering, slammed doors, or total rebellion. Haley Dunphy is that teenager. Her mother doesnt want her to make the same mistakes she had made long ago. Claire tries her hardest to set rules for example fifteen year old Haley cannot have senior boyfriend Dylan in her bedroom with the door closed. Fortunately for Claire her daughter can adhere to these rules unlike many parents today who have lost the control of their children to sexual behaviors. (Vinovskis, 1987:283) Claires father Jay was divorced but remarried. His second one wife is nothing like his first. Shes this sexy young Columbian with a lot of energy and a 10 year old son, making them the bicultural family that crosses generations. Though Jays children are old enough and with lives and families of their own he must now take care of his new stepson. This is truly hard for the both of them. Jay isnt talkative nor does he show much emotion where Manny is passionate, cautious, and intelligent. Gloria, Jays new wife encourages the boys to get to know each other and hang out as if there were really father and son. So now Jay well in age must keep up with his young wife and his even younger stepson. Gloria herself has to get used to the American family and their unfamiliarity with her own culture. She sometimes gets the feeling of not belonging or not being understood but thats partly because of her thick accent.

Like many people, in our lifetime especially, Jay and Gloria are experiencing or have experienced a divorce. Jay and Gloria are going through the remarriage after the divorce phase. This is a truly sensitive and difficult time especially if the divorce was recent. This phase can be even more complicated when children are involved. Many claim that whatever they do is for the children when in reality they fit the children wherever its convenient for them. Social scientists believe that the effect of losing a parent through divorce is similar to losing a parent through death. Children who suffer from divorcing parents tend to have more problems in life. This leads to an onset of issues for the children especially for those Mannys age. Interestingly enough males have greater difficulties dealing with divorce than females do. (Amato, Paul R, 1994:568569) Manny however handles the situation quite gracefully. Jay isnt as graceful. He tries to be a good stepfather but doesnt know how to go about it. This is the case for many stepfathers living in the home with their new stepchildren. Regular parenting is tricky but step-parenting is even trickier. Stepfathers are less at ease when it comes to children where as stepmothers jump into the role without hesitation. Men in this situation do not want to overstep their boundaries as being the stepparent. This is especially true when it comes to disciplining, financial support and just playing around. (Marsiglio, 2004:447) Manny and Jay finally get their break when the family gets together and cheers Manny on at his fencing match. Jay stands up and shouts to the crowd proudly, Thats my boy! The last family to some may cause the most controversy, the Gay family. Jays son Mitchell and his partner Cameron have been together for about five years and realized that they were missing something in their lives. They are about to embark on a whole new journey by adopting a little infant girl from Vietnam. Mitchell is relaxed for the most part and doesnt want to stand out too much so hes the one with the polos and khakis. Cameron however is overly

enthusiastic and sometimes a little dramatic wearing bright flowy shirts. Hes not afraid of what anyone has to say. Bringing baby Lily back home with them was a big step for the both of them. This was especially true for Mitchell who hesitated to tell his father and sister about it. Just the mention of having a baby brought some disapproval. Once the family met the baby and saw how beautiful she was they were ready to support the three of them. Even Jay, the man who announces himself before coming into a room so that he doesnt see Cameron and Mitchell kiss, was quick to call Lily his granddaughter. Cameron and Mitchell are an interesting pair. There are a lot of surprises when more about their lives are revealed. Many people try to determine the gender roles each partner in a homosexual relationship might take upon themselves. For example in some young lesbian relationships theres the girl and the stud. The stud dresses like a male, walks and talks like a male and may act like a male. This behavior forces the world around them to say that shes the man in the relationship. In a world where women are considered to be the ones to do the house work and men the yard work, what happens when there are only women in a relationship or no women at all? Who then does the womens work or is it fifty- fifty? Many relationships have a person who partakes in the domestic chores more than the other. The reason may be work or pure laziness. Which may cause anger or resentment. (Carrington, 1999:710) Yes, lesbigay couples do fight they arent always happy with one another as some people may assume. Mitchell and Cameron do not have that clear cut division of labor. It seems that they do both partake in domesticity. Cameron shops at Coscos and Mitchell babyproofs the house. Cameron loves taking pictures and making home videos where as Mitchell does the scrapbooking. They work together as a team especially when taking care of Lily. They both went to the toddlers class though the class was filled with women and their children. Mitchell feared that Lily wasnt progressing as well as the other children.

Cameron is always playing and lifting Lily. All signs of good parents. When Mitchell bumped lilys head into a wall he and Cameron brought her to the doctor. Measures taken by new parents regardless of their sexual orientation. Studies show that there isnt a difference between the children with heterosexual parents and those with same sex parents.(Stacey and Biblarz, 2001:313). Mitchell and Cameron balance each other well and love their daughter unconditionally. Not one family is the same. Whether it is comprised of related members or chosen kin it is what helps mold our communities and societies. Families raise children and fund the economy so they are truly important. How one deals with their family varies from house to house state to state country to country and Modern Family proves this to be true. Traditional families are overrated. As much as we try to be traditional something comes and works better for us. Family is who we old dear to our, mothers, sisters brother, aunts uncles, grandparents, friends, teachers or pets. Lets all be modern and leave traditional families to the dinosaurs!