Anger and violent conflicts in the workplace has become one of Corporate America's biggest problems.

In a recent Gallup poll, two (2) out of every ten (10) employees confessed to being angry enough to "hurt" some co-worker in the last six(6) months! Indeed, every day, literally thousands of employees are killing and maiming each other as a result of their mis-mangaged and uncontrolled anger and rage. Many more thousands of "innocent" by-standers/co-workers are also being hurt or killed in the process. Too many managers and bosses are losing their lives each year because of the angry and violent actions of disgruntled employees. Make no mistake about it, the modern workplace of today is dangerous and becoming increasingly more violent and you can easily be hurt or even lose your life if you don't know how to manage your anger and the anger of your co-workers. Much of the problem contributing to the epidemic anger and violence occurring in the workplace is that many people have attitudes about themselves, about others and about life which predispose them to behave in ways that are irrational and disrespecting towards others. Such persons are "culturally incompetent" and are not "sensitive" to other people "feelings" ways of seeing, doing and understanding things. They lack "insight" about other people beliefs, values and practices and are unable to "dialogue" about their differences. And when conflicts arise, their lack of "insight" and cultural competence makes positive cooperation difficult and sometimes, even impossible. This kind of cultural "narrow-mindedness" is then perceived as disrespect by others and triggers their anger (rage) and its violent consequences.

I have found that most of the inter-employee problems, manager/employee problems and violent conflicts on the job, arise out of this negative context of cultural ignorance.
When co-workers, managers and employees learn how to make the transition from their mistaken or uninformed attitudes and expectations of others to more appropriate ones, their lives at work take on new meaning and purpose. They become capable of cooperating with each other as equal members of society. As employees, they become more efficient and productive at their job. They stop insulting and putting each other down and start helping each other up. They are moved into a relationship of mutual respect.

Mutual respect can be defined as a state in which two (or more) individuals respect themselves and each other in spite of their differences, faults and imperfections.
. In the context of mutual respect, each employees feelings of self respect and sense of worth and value is enhanced. Of course, this does not mean "compromising" with any legitimate expectations based on each employee respective role and job function. But it does mean "respecting" the other person "humanity" in spite of his professional shortcomings, cultural differences or lack of competence. Even when the other person makes it very difficult for us to respect them by making useless "anger mischief," we can still disengage from their inappropriate or unprofessional behavior and respect them in spite of it! He (she) will not cooperate with us until, and unless we do.

http://www.angermgmt.com/workplace.asp

Workplace anger and hostility often manifests itself in ways that have received a great deal of attention from business owners, researchers, legislators, and members of the business press in recent years. Workplace violence and sexual harassment are probably the two best known examples of workplace anger and hostility. But anger and hostility can manifest themselves in other less dramatic ways that can nonetheless have a tremendously negative impact on a business by producing an environment marked by poor or nonexistent communication, lousy morale, excessive employee absenteeism or turnover, and a host of other undesired conditions. Business owners, managers, and employees who are unable to control their own anger or effectively respond to the angry outbursts of others will likely find that their business and/or career suffers as a result. "Organizations which fail to recognize and deal effectively with this problem will suffer as a result," wrote Andrea Adams in Personnel Management. "They may be in breach of their legal duty to ensure their employees' health, safety and welfare, or guilty of unlawful discrimination, or open to a claim of constructive dismissal. Their costs will rise because of poor morale and productivity, higher absenteeism and staff turnover. They will find it difficult to attract new staff, and in extreme cases the damage to their image or reputation will mean loss of business." Of course, not all small businesses that utilize employees are confronted with the challenge of addressing and correcting problem workers who behave in an angry or hostile manner toward coworkers or customers. Many enterprises feature a positive work environment and employ staff that enjoy their jobs and relate to one another in a professional manner. But most small business owners that have a payroll will eventually encounter someone who exhibits angry or hostile behavior and looms as a potential threat to the financial and/or spiritual health of the organization. "One of the more obvious conditions in the workplace is that people, in their roles as employees, are distinguished by their vast differences," wrote Joseph D. Levesque, author of The Human Resource Problem-Solver's Handbook. "They come to us in all forms, divergent experiences and backgrounds, and in remarkably unique psychological makeup. Some are quite stable in their values, lifestyles, reasoning, actions, and direction. Others may be self-serving, deceptive, rebellious, or in many other ways problematic." Entrepreneurs, then, need to prepare themselves for the day when an employee's actions or words seem to be based on feelings of anger or hostility. Some small business owners underestimate the impact that workplace anger and hostility can have on their business and on their staff, and they do so at their peril. "One nasty crack that receives minimal attention from management can get half your work force stewing, not only creating low morale and an unpleasant work environment, but also severely cutting productivity," wrote Robert McGarvey in Entrepreneur. Small business owners should be aware that failure to address workplace hostilities can also open them up to legal liability. Moreover, the person who engages in hostile workplace behavior does not have to be an owner or supervisor for the business owner to be vulnerable to charges concerning that person's behavior, because in the eyes of the law, business owners have the power and obligation to control their employees.

CAUSES OF WORKPLACE ANGER AND HOSTILITY

Workplace hostility can often be traced to attitudes that have little to do with the current employment situation in which workers find themselves. Deep-seated feelings of hostility toward other people because of their gender, skin color, sexual orientation, political beliefs, or other factors are often firmly in place long before the person begins working at your company. Often, the small business owner faced with such an employee will have limited options available to deal with such problems; instead, he or she will concentrate efforts on making sure that those undesired attitudes do not disrupt the workplace. Factors that cause workplace anger, on the other hand, can sometimes be addressed directly. While workplace anger sometimes can be traced back to prejudices that are at the root of deepseated hostility, on many other occasions, work-oriented factors serve as the primary catalysts. Common causes of workplace anger include:

General harassment, whether sexual or some other form. Favoritism of one employee over another. Rejection (whether arbitrary or for good reason) of a proposal or project in which employee has big emotional investment. Insensitivity by owners or managers. Criticisms of employees in front of staff or clients. Depersonalized workplace environment. Unfair (or tardy) performance appraisals or criticism. Lack of resources for the employee to meet his/her objectives. Inadequate training. Lack of teamwork. Withdrawal of earned benefits. Betrayal of trust extended to manager or owner. Unreasonable demands on employees. Does not keep promises. Lack of flexibility on part of owner or manager. Poor communication. Feedback is wholly or primarily negative in tone. Absentee leadership (such as instances wherein needed disciplinary action is absent). Micromanagerial environment in which staff decisionmaking opportunities are limited.

Of course, sometimes a distinction must be made between legitimate and illegitimate catalysts of workplace anger. For example, an employee may express great anger over a negative performance review even though the appraisal was conducted fairly and honestly. Small business owners and managers cannot jettison basic principles of management simply to avoid making one of their employees angry. WARNING SIGNS Workplace anger is often sublimated by employees until they reach a point where they suddenly burst. This "bursting" point may manifest itself in a variety of ways. One employee may just yell at his manager, while another may impetuously decide to quit. Still others may resort to workplace violence or vandalism. Small business owners and managers should acquaint themselves with the warning signs of hidden anger so that they can address the causes for that anger and hopefully head off an incident before it occurs. Other employees,

meanwhile, may exhibit behavior that is more obviously troubling. Following are a range of behaviors that may signal a need for intervention:

Sarcastic, irritable, or moody behavior Apathetic and/or inconsistent work performance Prone to making direct or veiled threats Aggressive and antisocial behavior Overreaction to company policies or performance appraisals Touchy relationships with other workers Obsessive involvement and/or emotional attachment to job

"BULLYING" Explicit workplace violence, sexual harassment, and episodes of discrimination garner the most headlines and receive the bulk of attention from consultants because of their potential legal impact on business enterprises. But researchers contend that simple bullying behavior may be a greater threat to business health and productivity than any of the abovementioned problems. Sometimes bullying takes place between employees, but it often is most evident in supervisor-worker relationships, in which one person is perceived to wield greater power. "Bullying is not just the problem of an individual, however, but, where it exists, of the organization and its culture as a whole," stated Andrea Adams in Personnel Management. "Whether it is a bully's persistent intimidation or their devious efforts to make a colleague appear professionally incompetent, these menacing tactics can be difficult to identify." She also notes that organization bullying is often disguised by euphemisms that avoid calling the behavior what it really is. "In America employee abuse, as it is called, is also referred to as 'workplace trauma,' " wrote Adams. "It has been identified in research carried out by one psychologist in the USA as a more crippling and devastating problem for both staff and employers than all the other workrelated stresses put together. There are always those who will put forward the argument that the making of snide remarks or jokes at other people's expense is 'a part of human nature,' but office banter which is not really designed to offend is undoubtedly different to the persistent downgrading of people by any individual in a position of power." Adams noted that confronting bullies about their behavior is often difficult: "Where bullying exists and someone is willing to tackle it, the bully will have to be addressed in some way and prevailed on to change. The way in which they see themselves will rarely tally with the view of those who are placed under attack." Small business owners and managers, however, should stand fast. Bullying behavior generally does not take place in a vacuum; other employees are usually aware of the situation, and they should be consulted. Finally, owners seeking to eliminate bullying behavior need to make it clear that anyone who is the victim of bullying tactics will receive their full support. PEER CONFLICT Another common cause of workplace anger and hostility is peer conflict. Unlike instances of bullying, wherein one employee makes a conscious decision to engage in behavior that is hurtful or uncomfortable for another employee, peer conflict is characterized by mutual feelings of animosity toward the other individual. "Peer conflicts are typically caused by personality or perception differences, moodiness, impatience, or sensitive emotional states such as jealousy, annoyance, and embarrassment," wrote Levesque. "When these rivalries evolve into skirmishes or outbursts, the conflict erupts and people are damaged. Since work relies heavily on

the ability of people to interact in a cooperative and harmonious fashion, conflict between employees represents a serious breakdown of those two vital ingredients to effective work relationships." According to management theorist Peter Drucker, managers can pursue one of the following routes when attempting to resolve peer conflicts: 1. Convince both workers to accept a mutually agreeable view or agreement about the issue that was the cause of the conflict. 2. Support the position of one employee and reject the position of the other. 3. Make your own decision about the issue and force both people to comply with your perception. "What is important for the manager to keep in perspective," wrote Levesque, "is that the problem belongs to those in conflict and only they can resolve it, but they will need someone to help you." Small business owners who find themselves mediating a peer conflict should avoid taking sides (especially if both workers' views have merit), provide an objective viewpoint, keep the discussion from bogging down in tangents or name-calling, and help each worker to understand the perspective of the other. Finally, the small business owner's overriding concern should be to explicitly restate his or her expectations of staff performance, including the ways in which staff members should behave toward one another.

KEYS TO STOPPING OR PREVENTING EXPRESSIONS OF WORKPLACE HOSTILITY AND ANGER

Attempts to address inappropriate workplace behavior through negotiation and mediation are not always effective. In some instances, an employee's conduct and/or performance will leave the small business owner with no alternative but to resort to disciplinary action. This discipline can take a variety of forms, from suspension to negative comments in the employee's personnel file to yanking the worker off a plum project. Reports on the effectiveness of such steps vary considerably. Some firms contend that such measures inform the employee that his or her problematic behavior will not be tolerated and can be an effective tool in triggering behavioral reforms, especially if the punishment has a financial dimension. But others insist that such measuresespecially if used without first pursuing other optionsmay only deepen feelings of animosity and hostility. No two small business enterprises or employees are alike. Researchers agree, however, that there a number of steps that employers can take to address the issues of workplace anger and hostility before they erupt into full-blown crises. 1. Explicitly state your absolute opposition to inappropriate behavior in writing. This can often be included as part of a new hire's employee guidelines package, but small business owners should also consider displaying such "zero tolerance" statements in public areas.

2.

3.

4. 5. 6. 7.
8.

Such statements should also clearly delineate which types of comments and actions are regarded as offensive. Encourage an environment that values diversity. "There must be vision and commitment to the ideal of valuing diversity demonstrated by an underlying respect toward everyone in the organization," wrote Charlene Marmer Solomon in Personnel Journal. Recognize that incidents of workplace hostility tend to get worse over time if they are not addressed. For example, remarks that might at first seem to be merely in mildly bad taste can eventually escalate into fullfledged racist, sexist, or otherwise mean-spirited harassment. "Learning to deal with [workplace anger] issues is critical to creating a workplace that is comfortableand therefore productivefor employees," wrote McGarvey." An all-too-common reaction, and one that often creates bigger problems down the road, is shrugging off such incidents." Instead, business owners should respond to incidents of workplace anger or hostility promptly and decisively. The whole workforce will likely be watching, looking for some signal about whether management takes such transgressions seriously, or whether it implicitly gives the green light to further incidents. Learn to recognize the symptoms of workplace anger, and try to provide employees with constructive avenues to express frustrations and/or concerns. Monitor workplace culture to ensure that it does not provide fertile ground for unwanted behavior. Make sure you have all the facts before confronting an employee with a charge of workplace discrimination or otherwise unprofessional behavior. This is especially true if the identity of the transgressor is in any doubt. Make sure that your own actions and deeds are a good model for your employees. Recognize that your primary imperative is not to change an employee's mindset about minorities, women, or other co-workers, but rather to ensure that the employee does not engage in offensive behavior in his or her interactions with co-workers or customers. "We won't change what a person says at a bar, after work, but we can impact how he carries out his job in the workplace," one consultant told Entrepreneur. "We won't change attitudes, but we can manage behaviorsand that's your responsibility as an employer."

WHEN THE SMALL BUSINESS OWNER IS ANGRY

Small business owners should also be aware of the challenges of managing their own anger in the workplace. Entrepreneurship brings with it a host of responsibilities and pressures that can make it difficult for them to manage strong emotions such as anger. But it is important for small business owners to handle their anger in an effective manner. "Expressing anger can be constructive when your true intent is to maintain, reestablish, or restore a positive relationship with the person who has offended you," wrote Eugene Raudsepp in Machine Design. "When done properly, constructive confrontations assure future harmony, better performance, and improved productivity. When confronting the person who sparked your anger, don't underestimate the value of courtesy. Express your feelings in a reasonable, calm and controlled way. Back your statements with specifics. State the problem as you see it and then give the other party a chance to express his or her side. Listen, empathize, and try to understand what caused the conflict. Make it clear it's the behavior, not the person, that caused the problem."

FURTHER READING:
Braverman, Mark. Preventing Workplace Violence: A Guide for Employers and Practitioners. Sage, 1999. Levesque, Joseph D. The Human Resource Problem-Solver's Handbook. McGraw-Hill, 1992. McGarvey, Robert. "Foul Play: Battling Hostilities in the Workplace." Entrepreneur. October 1997. McShulskis, Elaine. "Workplace Anger: A Growing Problem." HRMagazine. December 1996. Meyer, Pat. "Preventing Workplace Violence Starts with Recognizing Warning Signs and Taking Action." Nation's Restaurant News. February 28, 2000. Neville, Haig. "Workplace Violence Prevention Strategies." Memphis Business Journal. September 8, 2000. Solomon, Charlene Marmer. "Keeping Hate Out of the Workplace." Personnel Journal. July 1992.

http://www.hodu.com/management-anger.shtml

How to Gain Control of Anger in the Workplace

Suppressed anger, when ignored, can quickly turn into rage and violence. Here's how astute management can nip a potentially volatile situation in the bud. by Eileen O. Brownell
Before you give somebody a piece of your mind, be sure you can get by with what you have left! - Savage, Life Lessons How many times have we flipped through the radio channels on our commute home only to discover through a "late breaking news bulletin" that yet another individual's anger has turned to rage and they are shooting employees and supervisors at their prior place of employment? No company is immune to previous or current employees who have decided to act on their anger in an unhealthy manner. We live in a high stress, fast paced world with constant demands places on us at work, in our home and in our cars. When any one of these or a combination of this is out of kilter, it may not take much to push an individual from a state of anger to one of rage. All of us have experienced times of despair. It is only natural that we understand the stress and strain that can push a normally sane person to the edge. Examples outside of work include divorce, the death of a family member, the life threatening illness of a loved one or excessive financial challenges. Failure to pass probation on a new promotion, the consolidation of a company with numerous layoffs, a new boss, a conflict with a co-worker or one too many irrate customers can push others to their limits

At one time, I had a three freeway, 40 mile commute. It took at least an hour or more to drive in heavy traffic. I often found my temper flaring when I had been stuck behind a stalled car, cut off one too many times, or received the middle finger salute for following the speed limit on a rainy day by some crazed motorist. If I was on my way to work in the morning, it could begin my entire day on a sour note until I put my attitude in check and realized that my job was not the cause of my frustration. Often we fail to recognize the anger warning signals a coworker or staff member gives. The signs of hidden anger are many and can be displayed in a variety of ways. Does anyone you know at work display any of the following behavior?

Habitual lateness. Procrastination in the completion of assigned or imposed tasks. Frequent sighing. Over reactions or excessive irritability over trifles. Sarcasm, cynicism or flippant comments in conversation.

Although there are many more symptoms, such as being drowsy at inappropriate times, chronic depression, slow movements, and a stiff neck, the previous behaviors and reactions are easier to observe and note in the work environment.

HELPFUL TECHNIQUES
People who have high levels of stress and conflict in their lives with a minimal amount of coping skills can have the most devastating effect on the work environment and their coworkers. Fortunately, conflict resolution skills can be learned and mastered by all. Here are a few techniques that can help you deal with employees or co-workers whose conflict may escalates into anger. Act immediately. Waiting allows anger to boil into a potentially explosive situation. When you do not act immediately, employees tend to believe you don't really care. The only times when a delay is justified are if the individual needs time to simmer down before you come together to resolve the challenge, or when you believe that a professional's assistance may be needed. Respect the individual. We all know when someone is shining us on or patronizing us. If you truly want to dissipate the anger, then show respect for the other persons

opinion, feelings and where they are emotionally. Be patient and remain calm to help establish that level of respect. Meet in private. Allow the angry person to vent in private without interruption. This will allow the discussion that follows to be more productive and result oriented. If the individual does make threatening or violent statements, do cut in. Establish if you need to remove yourself from the situation immediately. It is important to know when there is a need for an intervention with a trained professional. Be silent. People behave with anger because it works. Either they get a defensive and angry response from you or you become so intimidated that you back off. Either helps the person to avoid a resolution to the situation causing the problem. So be silent until the individual has expressed all of their feelings. When you do not respond or rebut their comments immediately and appear to be contemplating their comments, they usually run out of steam and stop their verbal tirade sooner Listen. Listen. Listen again! People want to know their opinion and feelings count. If you constantly interrupt the individual or discount the information the person relays to you, they will only become more angry. Repeat their complaint and feelings in your words. A statement like "I hear you're feeling frustrated because Tom ignored your suggestion," indicates you really have heard their complaint and have helped identify their feelings Give brief responses. Lengthy explanations can be a killer. Respond to their accusations or angry reactions with honest, brief responses that show respect. For example if someone protests with "Well, you hate me and always have," a simple response would be "That's not true." Do not debate the issue or justify your actions. If you do, you are giving credence to the angry individual and will find yourself sucked into the emotions of the moment. Ban fault finding Blame rarely helps any situation. It only invites the angry individual to

become defensive and counterattack. Establish what went wrong and how it can be corrected, not who is wrong and why they made the mistake. Discover the real problem! It is difficult to seek a solution to a problem when you do not have all the information or know the real problem. Often the last situation may just be the proverbial straw that broke the camels back. Ask open-ended questions that require thought for answers. Avoid closeended questions that only require a "yes" or "no" answer. Questions such as " what happened when you didn't receive the order," will provide more information to help you understand the situation. Probing questions like "can you give me a specific example," will help to further clarify the problem. Seek solutions Look for a solution in all situations. Solutions capitalize on team work. When everyone is working toward one goal, one solution, there is little time for blame. Solutions also encourage people to be creative, to think out of the box. People tend to be more creative when they know they will not be criticized or blamed for making mistakes. Find common ground. In your pursuit for a resolution to the anger, progress from points you can agree on. Even if initially you can only agree that there is a problem. Building a foundation for resolution on common ground will create a more solid relationship and remove barriers sooner Encourage discussion. Some employees may be reluctant to express their feelings and frustrations. Try simple non-threatening questions such as "Can I help you? You seem upset and frustrated?" and "Is everything alright? You seem out of sorts today." If the individual chooses not to respond, do not push it. Give the individual time to think the situation and their feelings through. Expressing their feelings may have been cause for fear in the past.

THE BOTTOM LINE

To defuse anger in the workplace requires learning simple conflict resolutions techniques that virtually anyone can learn.

There is no one clear way to prevent and defuse anger in the work place. Each situation and individual is different. It is important that you know your own limits and when it is necessary to refer the problem to a qualified professional for assistance. Knowledge of a person's normal job performance and habits will help you recognize when an employee may be preoccupied with a personal challenge that could create undue stress that will come out as anger. Your top priority as you begin the process of defusing a potentially volatile situation is to have respect for the individual and their point of view. .When you use those two priorities as your guide, coupled with honesty and a willingness to listen, you will succeed in your efforts to discover the real problem and create a positive solution that will satisfy all parties involved.

Copyright, Eileen O. Brownell. All rights reserved. Eileen Brownell works with organizations that want repeat customers and with people who want to provide outstanding service. Her keynote address The Magic of Making a Difference: The Secrets of StarQuality Performers has inspired many to great achievements. Eileen also provides seminars on customer service, communications, conflict resolution and team building. Visit her site or phone her at 888-3246100 , or email: Trainstars@aol.com