How To Write A Response-Producing Sales Letter

Presented by: Ernest Nicastro Positive Response

December 8, 2008

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How To Write A Response-Producing Sales Letter

Prepared by: Ernest Nicastro Positive Response

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Table of Contents
How to Write a Response-Producing Sales Letter
How to Write a Response-producing Sales Letter .................................................................. 3

How To Write A Response-Producing Sales Letter

Ernest Nicastro, Positive Response

Todays Agenda

I.

Preparation
If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first hour sharpening the ax. Abraham Lincoln

II.

Gaining and holding the attention of your reader

III. Additional pointers for successful sales letters

I. Preparation
Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance
Youre on the inside looking out, writing for people who are on the outside looking in. - Roy H. Williams, The Wizard of Ads Know your customer/prospect. What motivates them? Read your white mail and talk to your customers. Talk to your best salespeople. Study the work of successful copywriters and their sales letters. All the genius I have lies in this; when I have a subject in hand, I study it profoundly. Alexander Hamilton

II. Attention: How To Get It, How To Hold It The 3-legged stool of profitable direct mail marketing
1. 2. 3. List = 40% of your success Offer = 40% of your success Copy = 20% of your success

1. List
1. 2. Compiled lists Controlled (FREE) Subscription lists
People receiving the magazine are usually highly qualified. High deliverability rate. People usually had to respond to something in order to get the magazine.

3. 4.

Response lists May be paid magazine subscribers or people who have bought products or services via direct response. Postal mail and opt-in email lists.

List Examples
Chief Learning Officer Magazine These top corporate executives develop, implement or fund enterprise-level workforce development programs. Subscribers are executives at major U.S. corporations. They are not only trainers and human resources professionals but also decision-making executives. Cost per one-time usage - $275/M opt-in e-mail $225/M Postal (Minimum 5,000) SurplusAlert.com Opportunity Buyers This file contains buyers from SurplusAlert.com. They buy products at low members-only prices and resell them at online auction sites such as eBay, uBid, and onSale for a profit. Cost per one-time usage - $110/M opt-in e-mail

2. Offer
Make your offer so great that only a lunatic would refuse to buy" Claude Hopkins - Legendary copywriter, author of Scientific Advertising. Stimulus for action. THE STIMULUS ISN'T THE PRODUCT -- IT'S THE OFFER.
NOTE: Your offer value must match the commitment youre asking the prospect to make.

II. Attention: How To Get It, How To Hold It

5 Deadly Sales Letter Mistakes
1. Writing Your Letter For the Hundreds or Thousands of People You Will Be Mailing It To Instead of One Special Person.
The sales letter is the pen-and-ink embodiment of the salesperson who is talking personally and directly to the prospect on a on-to-one basis. - Malcolm Decker How Not To Do It: The Federal Government operates in an information intensive environment, and an increased capacity to share information and operate across technology platforms is paramount. Unlike the personal computing market that has standardized on Microsoft Windows, the enterprise environment within the Federal Government has no common operating system standard, and is plagued with fragmentation.

II. Attention: How To Get It, How To Hold It

5 Deadly Sales Letter Mistakes
How its done: Thank you very much for having written to me for my latest catalog. A copy is being sent to you in another envelope and should reach you in a day or two. When my catalog arrives I hope you will give it as friendly a welcome as if I were visiting you myself. Maxell Sackheim

2. 3.

Thinking that Your Prospect Wont Read a Long Letter. Being a Slave to the Formal Rules of Grammar. Example: How would you rate a general...
...who rushed into a battle without a plan? A general who squandered blood, sweat and tears without a blueprint? And yet you fight the toughest battle in history. Every day. And its not just your skin thats at risk. But your nest egg. Your home. And those you love. Sig Rosenblum for Bache Financial Planning

Attention: How To Get It, How To Hold It

4. 5. Giving The Reader a Reason For Not Reading Always answer the so and the what. Not Offering Proof That Your Product or Service Does What You Say It Will Do. - Testimonials - Case studies - Customer lists - Third-party surveys - Third-party reviews

II. Attention: How To Get It, How To Hold It

5 Effective Ways To Open a Sales Letter
1. Ask a good question 1) If I could show you a way to slash your health insurance costs by 40% -- and still get top-quality care, would you be interested? 2) First, three brief questions if we may: 1) Did everyone who should have reported in to work today report in? 2) And those who did did they bring their minds to the job, as well as their bodies. 3) Is everybody happy? Working well? Building the company? Ferd Nauheim for Elliott Service Company 3) You may regard this as "none of my business." But I'd appreciate your digesting this information before reaching that conclusion. Here's the question: Are you paying too much for payroll services? And getting short-changed on service?

2.

Be Direct and To The Point.

1) You've got enough people trying to waste your time with products and services you don't really want or need. I'm not one of those people. 2) Right off the bat I want you to know one thing. I won't waste your time. This letter - every word of it - is about how my company can help your company make more money and be more competitive.

II. Attention: How To Get It

5 Effective Ways To Open a Sales Letter
3. Quickly establish rapport 1) You and I are part of a remarkable group. Someone who's never been on a scuba dive could never understand it. 2) If you're like I am, before you make a big decision you make sure you have all the facts. Just logical, isn't it? When the stakes are high, there's no such thing as "too much information." (But too often we get too little information.) 3) Congratulations! You know more about sound nutrition and smart consumer shopping than any generation before. You cook with more imagination. You serve with more style. 4) If anyone deserves special treatment it's you. And I'm not the only one who feels this way. Just last month the Texas Veterans Land Board (TVLB) increased the maximum loan amount available to veterans like yourself....

4.

Open with a relevant vignette or story

1) Seventeen years in prison and a $26 million fine. That's what a court ended up handing down to the first crook stupid enough to sue me for libel.

II. Attention: How To Get It

5 Effective Ways To Open a Sales Letter
4. Open with a relevant vignette or story (continued)
2) Headline: How To Get More of What You Want In Your Next Property Negotiation Letter opening: They had accepted our purchase price. But when the building inspection revealed many small details that needed repair their response was, No way, this is an as-is purchase. My clients just did not have the time to lock horns on this issue. Fortunately, they didn't have to. As their representative it was my job to get them what they wanted.

5.

Ouch!
Headline: Ouch! Letter opening: You know how it is these days. Businesses everywhere are hurting. Because there's not enough business to keep everyone busy. That's why you can't think about just matching the competition. If you want real growth in your business youve got to OUTWIT, OUTMARKET and OUTGUN your competitors every step of the way. Now heres the good news. Ill help you do exactly that.

II. Attention: How To Keep It

9 Tips To Keep Your Reader Reading
1. Stay tuned in to WIIFM at all times; think FAB Features This accounting software has a reporting feature. Advantages - This reporting feature provides real-time, ondemand, updated mission-critical information to key business managers. Benefits - Managers are able to keep their finger on your companys financial pulse at all times, thereby reducing costs by as much as 50%, maintaining greater control over expenditures, and increasing their output by 10-20 times at any given time in just a few clicks. Source: Michel Fortin http://www.michelfortin.com 2. 3. Write in a clear, simple, direct and conversational style Use active, action-oriented language

II. Attention: How To Keep It

5. Write emotional copy
If you can't touch your prospect's heart, he'll never let you touch his pocketbook. Michael Masterson, http://www.earlytorise.com. Fear Your wealth is in imminent danger. Michael Masterson Ego-gratification/Vanity Deluxe Spa Hand Treatment With Manicure Includes a soothing hand bath, a gentle exfoliating treatment and a seaweed mask. A light hand massage performed with a glycolic acid based cream will leave your hands feeling satin soft. A Paule Attar manicure is the finishing touch. Youll need both beautiful hands to count the compliments! Anger Ill get right to the point. One or more of your basic service providers telecom, gas, electric, water and sewer, waste disposal may be ripping you off.

6. Read your copy out loud 7. Make sure your thoughts and ideas transition smoothly - And, so, that said, on the other hand, whats more, best of all, thats why 8. Write as much copy as it takes to get the job done 9. Never end any page but the last in a complete sentence.

Additional Sales Letter Pointers

How To Play The Q Card For Winning Results
Our Commitment to Quality Quality Training Quality Tools Quality Lighting Systems that enable you to see the "entire dent" Quality Staff to Support You Quality Training Facilities Quality Instructors to Educate You Quality PERIOD!!! That is exactly what The Ding King Training Institute will provide you with Quality! In order for your "Q-Card" to be effective you must include relevant, specific and meaningful (to your target audience) details about your product or service to support your express or implied claim of quality.

Additional Sales Letter Pointers

Quality Tools - All Ding King tools are manufactured in the U.S. by ISO-9001 certified manufacturers and come with a seven-year performance guarantee.

Dont write in wandering generalities. Write in meaningful specifics.

Mr. Frank Farmer SoftTools Inc. 1389 NE Fourth St., Ste. 1600 Bellevue, WA 98004 Dear Mr. Farmer, Few decisions are as important to your companys future success as where you choose to locate your company and under what parameters. And yet few business decisions you will make can be made with as much confidence as relocation with the help of BKP Commercial Tenant Advisory Services. That is because with BKP as your exclusive representative, you can be assured you are not only seeing all your options, you are entering into the most economically favorable transaction. Nothing in the above offers any specific details to back up their claims.

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Additional Sales Letter Pointers

Quality, Service, Value, Etc: Meaningless Without Specificity Always specify or offer proof of exactly what you mean when you use such words and phrases as quality, quality services, customer-service-oriented, we put the customer first, value, etc. Example: Amica Insurance direct mail letter. "You can choose to get great coverage and exceptional service at a low price - for a better all around value. Value is a combination of what you get, what you pay, and how you're treated." Weve been making quite a name for ourselves by employing a simple, but oftenforgotten principle of good business: putting the customer first. "...our commitment to superior service has earned us a prestigious distinction. J.D. Power and Associates has rated Amica 'Highest in Customer Satisfaction Among National Auto Insurers' for seven years in a row.'"

Additional Sales Letter Pointers

Choice Words On Word Choice
"Eighty-seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation..." The Gettysburg Address The difference between the almost right word & the right word is really a large matter-it's the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning. - Mark Twain

Think harder about the words you choose

This is literally the equivalent of Microsoft coming to your house and locking a CD in your car CD player. More CIOs are disinterested in Linux Given the enormity of the job, it's no wonder the men who built the railroad seem like giants to some of us today. WasteWise has collected the following environmental factoids to help you understand the impacts of waste prevention and recycling. (From the web site of the U. S. Environmental Protection Agency) Factoid - Something fictitious or unsubstantiated that is presented as fact, devised especially to gain publicity and accepted because of constant repetition.

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Choice Words On Word Choice

Choose small, simple words Instead of
Utilize Peruse Ascertain

Write
Use Read Find out

"The more simply and plainly an idea is presented, the more understandable it is - and therefore the more credible it will be." Words That Work: It's Not What You Say, It's What People Hear - By Dr. Frank Luntz

Choice Words On Word Choice

Use mainly nouns and verbs and vigorous, active-voice words
"Write with nouns and verbs, not with adjectives and adverbs....It is nouns and verbs that give to good writing its toughness and character. Strunk & White, The Elements of Style "Unless you specifically want to avoid reader involvement in your message, always write in the active voice. Herschell Gordon Lewis

Instead of writing
Once the button has been clicked, the order is generated immediately and an email confirmation will be sent automatically to you. Study Software allows you to learn faster by organizing exam notes as concept maps... SmartList To Go allows you to create, view and manage databases on your handheld.

Write
When you click the button, we immediately generate your order and automatically send you an e-mail confirmation. Study Software enables you to learn faster by organizing exam notes as concept maps.... SmartList To Go makes it possible for you to create, view and manage databases on your handheld.

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Additional Sales Letter Pointers

Use a P.S.
One of the first things people read. Has been shown to boost response. Sales letter outline: Tell them. Tell them. Tell them. Restate your primary benefit Introduce a completely new surprise benefit Provide a sense of urgency Restatement of guarantee or highlighting testimonials P.S. Today is your LAST chance to register for Bootcamp with the Early Bird Discount. The price goes up $200 at 5 PM today. P.S Remember, when you work with Audit My Bills you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Because if we dont save you money you dont pay us a cent. So give me a call and lets get together soon. P.S. Get 13 months of service for the price of 12 with this special Leap Year promotion. Plus youll receive a nice gift just for talking with me. Why not give me a call right now while you still have this letter in your hands? You have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Additional Sales Letter Pointers

Steal Smart
Good artists borrow. Great artists steal. Picasso Study your mail. Especially those pieces you get multiple times. Use Google Get sales letter compilation books Million Dollar Mailings by Denison Hatch. World's Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters by Herschell Gordon Lewis & Carol Nelson. The Greatest Direct Mail Sales Letters of all Time by Richard S. Hodgson Use Whos Mailing What - Worlds largest library of direct mail, archiving information on over 130,000 packages in nearly 200 categories. And its all searchable by any number of parameters. For more information go to http://www.whosmailingwhat.com.

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Case Study
Filtration Solutions
Filtration Solutions manufactures and markets a remote mounted bypass oil filter...that can help over-the-road truckers extend their oil drain intervals dramatically. Thus saving them money on oil changes. Format Non-coated 8.5 card stock folded in half. One side of outer used for address, other side used for color photos of FS customers with their rigs and testimonials. List Compiled list of independent owner-operator OTR truckers Offer Free video demonstrating how the filter works Copy Headline: CALL TODAY FOR YOUR FREE VIDEO See for yourself how the FS-2500 oil by-pass filtration system will help you generate substantial savings. Opening: Cut oil drain costs? Substantially reduce even eliminate soot and sludge? Lower your engine maintenance costs? Extend the life of your engine? Yes. Yes. Yes. And Yes. P.S. When you watch the video youll see the FS-2500 quickly make pitchblack, sludge-and-soot-filled oil so clean you can see through it! Whats more, if you act quickly you can still get in on an exciting promotion we currently have underway for new customers. Call me for your free FS-2500 demonstration video today: 888-440-9056.

Case Study: CSi Complete

Mailer 1 - (300) Message in a Bottle. Mailer 2 (300) Bank Bag. Mailer 3 (208) Trash cans.

Results: 42 appts. 16 new customers, 9 of which closed within 3 months. Publicity in 7 magazines. Investment: $3,600. Source: CSi Complete

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Case Study: Chris Beaudoin (51% meeting rate)

Concepted and created byMothers of Invention Robert Rosenthal, Founder 2 Clock Tower Place, Suite 260E Maynard, MA 01754 978-897-3000 ext. 11 www.themothersofinvention.com

Teaser on outer box read: Dont bother bringing this to your next photo shoot. Inside copy block under blood pressure kit: "One prop you'll never need when working with Boston photographer Chris Beaudoin."

Summary
I. Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I'd spend the first hour sharpening the ax. Abraham Lincoln Gain and hold the attention of your reader Additional pointers for successful sales letters
- Play The Q Card For Winning Results - Choose every word carefully - Write in meaningful specifics - Steal smart - Use a P.S.

II. III.

15

Ernest Nicastro
Thank yah, thank yah vuhry much. www.positiveresponse.com 614.747.2256

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Notes