Alice - By Paul Schmidt Taken without permission from the Yale School of Drama magazine, Theater V.26 #3 1996.

Prologue An empty space. One by one, identical figures enter as CHARLES DODGSON. They move in silence. Finally: CHARLES DODGSON My head hurt... My head... ENSEMBLE (In various voices) Head Heat Heat Beat Beat Boat Boat Bolt Bolt Molt Molt Malt Malt Halt Halt Hart Hart Hurt Hurt... DODGSON My head hurt. one by one, the figures leave the stage. The last figure brings on a small chair with head and arm rests, and places it downstage left. From downstage right a large old-fashioned box camera on a tripod moves slowly toward the chair, trailing an enormous billow of black cloth. The camera stops beside the chair and DODGSON emerges from beneath the cloth. DODGSON (Sings.) It's dreamy weather we're on You wave your crooked wand Along an icy pond With a frozen moon A murder of silhouette crows I saw... And the tears on my face And the skates on the pond Spell Alice I'll disappear in your name But you must wait for me Somewhere beneath the sea There's the wreck of a ship Your hair is like meadow grass On the tide And the raindrops on my window And the ice in my drink Baby all I can think of Is Alice Arithmetic, Arithmetoc, I turn the hands back on the clock How does the ocean rock the boat How did the razor find my throat The only strings that hold me here Are tangled up around the pier And so a secret kiss Brings madness with the bliss And I will think of this When I'm dead in my grave Set me adrift and I'm lost in your hair But I must be insane

To go skating on your name And by tracing it twice I fell through the ice Of Alice There's only Alice During his song, ALICE LIDDELL appears stage right behind the black cloth. We see only her head, which moves along the black cloth toward the camera. At the end of the song, she leaps into the little chair. DODGSON disappears beneath the black cloth. Act 1 KNEE 1. AN AFTERNOON AT CHARLES DODGSON'S DODGSON, the photographer, hidden beneath a large black cloth, takes pictures of ALICE. The lens of his old-fashioned box camera extends slowly and menacingly toward her. ALICE Stick. Stuck. Stock-still. Yes, I promise that I will. Tick. Tock. Time will tell. Hope of heaven, fear of hell. That's the way. No one in this empty house. Mr. Dodgson, I'm your mouse. Stand still. Stunned stone. Have no wishes of my own. That's the way. Left alone from six to seven. All good children go to heaven. Chase the chickens, choke the child. Touch my shoulders, wish me wild. That's the way. I'm a perfect Anglo-Saxon, Aren't you? Have you got a code of honor That will do? That will do, Mr. Dodgson, That will do. That will do! DODGSON emerges from under his black cloth as the WHITE RABBIT, and sets off a huge flash. ALICE leaps through the wall behind her. The WHITE RABBIT picks up his camera and exits right. SCENE I. DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE

ALICE falls down the rabbit hole; numerous objects fall past her. She sees a mirror with her name written on it. The mirror breaks and her name is lost. The WHITE RABBIT stands by his camera watching her. WHITE RABBIT (Sings) ...but I must be insane To go skating on your name And by tracing it twice I fell through the ice Of Alice There's only Alice As the song ends, ALICE comes to rest beside a little glass table. She has landed in the WHITE RABBIT's house. The WHITE RABBIT picks up his camera, goes through a door, and disappears. ALICE attempts to go through the door, but it shrinks to a tiny opening. ALICE stretches out on the floor and peers through. She sees a beautiful flower garden beyond, but cannot reach it. ALICE (Sings) Hell above and heaven below All the trees are gone The rain has such a lovely sound To those who are six feet underground The leaves will bury every year And no one knows I'm gone. Live me golden tell me dark Hide from graveyard John But the moon is full here every night And I can bathe here in his light. The leaves will bury every year And no one knows I'm gone. The WHITE RABBIT crosses the room and sets a bottle on the little glass table. It says "Drink Me." After some hesitation, ALICE does. She begins to shrink: the table grows to giant size, and the bottle in her hand gets bigger and bigger, and the little hole in the wall becomes a door again. ALICE walks into the flower garden. KNEE 2. THE GARDEN OF LIVE FLOWERS ALICE comes upon a bed of flowers: LILY, ROSE, and two DAISIES. They are humming to themselves, but they fall silent and bend away as she approaches. ROSE Who are you? DAISIES ALICE Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?

LILY And of course you are what you smell like. ALICE Little girls shouldn't smell at all. That's it, I'm a little girl! DAISIES name? ALICE DAISIES ROSE What's your name? What's your name? What's your

I had a name this morning, but now it's gone. Nameless? Shameless! Shameless!

But of course a name means nothing.

LILY (Sings) Someday the silver moon and I Will go to Dreamland I will close my eyes And wake up there in Dreamland But tell me who will put flowers On a flower's grave Who will say a prayer Will I meet a China rose there In Dreamland Or does love lie bleeding In Dreamland Are these days gone forever and always If we are to die tonight Is there moonlight up ahead And if we are to die tonight Another rose will bloom. For a faded rose Will I be the one that you save I love when it showers But no one puts flowers On a flower's grave As one rose dies another blooms It's always been that way I remember the showers But no one puts flowers On a flower's grave The song reduces the FLOWERS to tears. Suddenly we hear a loud chomping noise. The FLOWERS wilt and vanish. ALICE looks around and sees a giant mushroom. SCENE 2. ADVICE FROM A CATERPILLAR ALICE tries to escape through a door in the mushroom, but it closes. A voice calls to her, and she discovers a CATERPILLAR seated upon the mushroom, smoking a pipe. CATERPILLAR Speak, boy! Where do you come from?

I'm... I'm... I'm afraid I'm not sure who I am. ALICE But I'm a little girl... at least, I though I was...

ROSE (She leans toward ALICE) You don't smell like anything.

CATERPILLAR Thinking has nothing to do with it. Either you are or you aren't.

ALICE

I'm little. That's all I know. I want to grow.

Table-top Joe, Table-top Joe Now everyone knows Table-top Joe The CATERPILLAR grows larger and larger. ALICE knocks frantically at the door in the mushroom, as the CATERPILLAR's body engulfs the stage. KNEE 3. FISH AND FROG ALICE stands before a door and knocks repeatedly. A footman, FISH, enters with a letter, and knocks at the door. It is opened by another footman, FROG, They pass the letter back and forth between them, the door is opened and closed, but ALICE can't manage to get through. FISH For the Duchess. An invitation from her Majesty to play croquet. FROG From her Majesty. An invitation for the Duchess to play croquet. FISH An invitation. For the Duchess to play croquet form her Majesty. FROG An invitation. From her Majesty to play croquet for the Duchess. FISH To play croquet. An invitation from her Majesty for the Duchess. FROG To play croquet. An invitation from her Majesty for the Duchess. They continue this ad libitum, tearing both the invitation and the dialogue into ever smaller pieces. Finally FISH leaves, and the door closes. FROG sits down idly. ALICE How do I get through that door? That depends which side of it you're on. I'm on the outside, obviously. Too bad. If you were on the inside, I could let you out. But I want to get in! What for? Everybody on the inside wants to get out. Why? Because they're all mad inside. They don't seem quite sane on this side, either! That too. If a door is there, it's meant to be opened!

CATERPILLAR Up, you mean? ALICE What other way is there?

CATERPILLAR Oh, lots. You could grow down, like roots. You could grow long, like me. You could grow fat, like a big pig. Grow in, like a toenail. Grow out of your clothes, grow into your shoes.... You could grow boring, even. Why not do as I do? Grow grand! I spin my cocoon, and grow larger and larger.... ALICE And turn into a butterfly!

CATERPILLAR No, a butterfly is only an idea, an ideal. Caterpillars are facts, hard facts, You know what happens to people who believe in ideals? Listen! Sings Table-top Joe, Table-top Joe, Everyone knows Table-top Joe Table-top Joe Well his mama didn't want him On the day he was born Born without a body He got nothing but scorn. But he always loved music All he had was his hands And he dreamed he'd be famous And he'd work at The Sands Table-top Joe, Table-top Joe Everyone knows Table-top Joe He had trouble with the pedals But he had a strong left hand And he could play Stravinsky On a baby grand. Table-top Joe, Table-top Joe Everyone knows Table-top Joe He said, I'm gonna join the circus 'Cause that's where I belong And he went to Coney Island Singing this song. And they gave him top billing In the Dreamland Show He had his own orchestra Starring Table-top Joe And the man without a body Proved everyone wrong He was rich and he was famous And he was where he belonged. Singing

FROG ALICE FROG ALICE FROG ALICE FROG ALICE FROG ALICE

FROG

Open it then.

ALICE But I'm not all alone in the house any more. I'm all alone right here. DUCHESS Your place is here, child, in the kitchen with us. Kids and kitchen, that's the rule. Here. She throws the baby to the COOK, who trows it back. They keep tossing it back and forth. COOK Let a little girl in the kitchen, she'll make a mess. Pig!

ALICE opens the door and enters. SCENE 3. PIG AND PEPPER ALICE finds herself in a kitchen. A CHESHIRE CAT is licking the dishes and a COOK is wiping them dry. The DUCHESS sits in a throne with a baby on her lap. The baby cries, and the COOK throws plates at the Duchess. FROG picks up the plates, gives them to the DUCHESS, who throws them back at the COOK. The WHITE RABBIT sweeps up the broken plates. They all sneeze continually and loudly. ALICE tries to sneak out unnoticed. DUCHESS ALICE Pig!

DUCHESS A girl starts making a mess, next thing you know she has a baby, and voila, she's a mother herself. Here. ALICE But I don't want to be a mother, all I want is to find a way out of here. COOK A way out? You just got in. The more doors you open...

I beg your pardon? I said pig! Pig! Pig!

DUCHESS ALICE

DUCHESS FROG

But I'm a little girl. Pig, little girl, what's the difference? What's your

... the deeper in you get.

DUCHESS name? ALICE

The baby is thrown one last time, and ends up in ALICE's arms. It has turned into a piglet. DUCHESS Take care of it, child. I must go dress, or I'll be late for the Queen's croquet party. The DUCHESS, COOK, and FROG exit. ALICE is left with the piglet and the CHESHIRE CAT. KNEE 4. LETTERS I

I seem to have lost it.

DUCHESS No name? Then you're a pig. Little girls have names, pigs don't. Voila! COOK ALICE COOK ALICE Your mother must have told you that many a time. She never did. Then she's a bad mother. She's a good mother!

DODGSON writes letters to ALICE. He looks at her photograph. The CHESHIRE CAT comes out of the kitchen, and smears the letters. DODGSON crumples up the ruined letters and throws them at the CHESHIRE CAT. DODGSON (Writes) Dear Alice, last night I dreamed that I was dreaming of you. And from a window across the lawn I watched you undress wearing a sunset of purple tightly woven around your hair that rose in strangled ebony curls moving in a yellow bedroom light. The air is wet with sound. The faraway yelping of a wounded dog. The ground drinking a slow faucet leak. Your house is so soft and fading as it soaks the black summer heat. A yellow cat runs out on the stream of hall light and into the yard. A wooden cherry scent is faintly breathing the air. I hear our champagne laugh. You wear two lavender orchids, one in your hair and one on your hip. A string of yellow carnival lights comes on with the dusk, circling the lake with a slowly dipping halo and I heard a banjo tango playing a minor waltz. And you danced into the shadow of a black poplar tree and I watched you as you disappeared. I buried a rabbit's heart stuck with pins in the graveyard in hope it would break this spell of love. But it did not. The CAT plays with the crumpled letters. DODGSON leaves.

DUCHESS A mother is like the letter M. Neither bad nor good. It all depends on the circumstances. If a mother says "you're mine," that's good. If a strange man says it, that's bad. CAT True enough, if you're a little girl. For grown-up girls, it's just the opposite. DUCHESS ALICE before. Who asked your opinion?

I don't believe I've ever heard a cat with an opinion

DUCHESS Oh, try. With practice you can believe almost anything. For instance, you could believe you were a little girl... COOK ... or that you know better than the rest of us... ... when you're all alone in the house.

DUCHESS

SCENE 4. ALICE ALONE Late at night. ALICE cannot sleep. We see her as a woman in her late forties, in an elegant gown. She has been drinking, and is talking to her cat. ALICE Move back he said, and back I moved, but it wasn't enough. Then he said move forward and I moved forward but it wasn't enough. And then move left and I moved left and then right; I moved right and it wasn't enough. No matter how I moved, Kitty it wasn't enough. And then came the stillness. Hold still for a few seconds he said, it won't hurt you, you're a little girl, he said, you must learn to hold still, and I held still for ten seconds and it wasn't enough. Then he said hold still for fifteen seconds and I held still for fifteen seconds and it wasn't enough. And then hold still for forty-five seconds and I sat for what seemed like hours and hours. I held so still I though I was dead. But I never blinked. You remember that day, kitty, we had gone for a walk in the woods, you discovered a rabbit, a tiny white rabbit, and it sat there and stared at you frozen with fear? That's how I sat, Kitty. And he was there, he was there somewhere in a big black cloud, and his round shiny eye kept looking and looking. That's wonderful, don't you think, Kitty? How close he wanted me, and how far away he kept me. I felt the tears coming and the screams coming but I never blinked. I looked into the little eye and there was nothing there but me. That's wonderful, don't you think? Then something inside me unfolded, unlocked, and I lay back and let the look lie down on top of me, oh, the heavy long years of what is to be seen and what is not to be seen, what is to be shown and what is not to be shown, to be seen and unseen and is there ever a way out of that? But that was every so sweetly my artful Dodgson's dodge, and he stopped my clock, but it was not where anything else stopped. And I know why, Kitty. He stopped me to keep me from shipwreck and hailstorm, from the stink of dead lilies, the odor of sh... Shhh. But those were my dreams, Kitty. I dreamed of burned bodies and rusting pavilions, of horses that galloped by night so distant that dawn never found them. I was wide with my dreams, that what he hated. He wanted to keep me away from my dreams. (ALICE pets her cat.) KNEE 5. THE CHESHIRE CAT An enormous cat's head appears in a tree in front of ALICE. CAT It's the night before morning and deep in the house A little girls nestles in bed like a mouse. The landscape is empty and scoured by dreams And the only thing heard is the sound of her screams. The voice of a grown-up repeats in her ear: Just be a good girl, there is nothing to fear, Nothing to frear if you hold yourself still But the fact is, we know there are kisses that kill It's no use pretending that help will arrive; For help often finds not a soul left alive. It's no use pretending that morning will come, If our eyes remain shut and our tongues remain dumb. The dreams of young children stay fast in their heads As long as the grown-ups stay out of their beds

The stairways in nightmares are scary and steep, But the fear is forgot when we wake from our sleep. We must wake all alone, get up stretch, and grow: From the nine lives I've lived, that's all that I know But we can't waste the day with our rhythm and rhyme A girl who must grow must find out about Time! ALICE Which way should I go from here?

CAT Either way. East you'll find the Hatter; he's mad. West you'll find the March Hare; he's equally mad. ALICE CAT ALICE CAT here. Everyone here seems mad. Oh, they are, they are. I'm mad myself. Quite mad. I'm not mad. Of course you are. If you weren't mad, you wouldn't be

He disappears and ALICE goes on her way. SCENE 5. THE MAD TEA PARTY ALICE sees a long table laid with many places set out under a tree. The MAD HATTER, the MARCH HARE, and the DORMOUSE are having tea. ALICE tries to sit down. MARCH HARE No room! No room! MAD HATTER No room! No room! Go back where you came from! ALICE But there's plenty of room.

MARCH HARE No there isn't. It just looks like it. MAD HATTER There's only enough for us. MARCH HARE Oh, let her sit down. What does it matter, Hatter? MAD HATTER Let her sit down. What do I care, Hare? DORMOUSE What's the meat of the matter? The heat of the hatter? The hate of the hitter? The hire of the hare? The lure of the pair? The cure for the care? MARCH HARE Oh, shut up! They change places continually. ALICE tries to get a cup of tea. MARCH HARE Are you going to the Queen's croquet party?

ALICE

I haven't been invited.

MAD HATTER But Time will tell. Time tells the longest tale. Always. Time's tale is longer than yours. He never ends. MARCH HARE But whether or not the tale gets told - that's another matter, Hatter. DORMOUSE Time out! Time out! Time out!

MAD HATTER Just show up. She'll never know the difference. ALICE That didn't get me very far here. You mean hare.

DORMOUSE

ALICE MAD HATTER Raus, mouse!

You mean we're out of time?

MARCH HARE No, time is out. DORMOUSE Natter nitter nitter natter, Killing time with Hare and Hatter. This isn't making sense And if it were it wouldn't matter! HARE, HATTER, and DORMOUSE (Sing.) ALICE Hang me in a bottle like a cat Let the crows pick me clean but for my hat Where the wailing of a baby Meets the footsteps of the dead We're all mad here As the Devil sticks his flag into the mud Mrs. Carroll has run off with Father Judd Hell is such a lonely place And your big expensive face Will never last. Have I told you all about the Eyeball Kid He was born alone inside a Petri dish And he was born without a body or a brow. And you'll die with the rose still on your lips And in time the heart-shaped bone That was your hips And all the worms they will climb The rugged ladder of your spine We're all mad here. And my eyeballs roll this terrible terrain We're all inside a decomposing train And your eyes will die like fish And the shore of your face will turn to bone An exhausted pause. MARCH HARE We need a tale to while away the time. MAD HATTER A tale! What a whale of a way to tell the time! MARCH HARE Can't tell him anything - he won't listen, you know. ALICE Who! There is indeed a door in the tree. ALICE opens it, steps through and disappears. MARCH HARE We need a tale that has no time. A timeless tale. I know! (To the DORMOUSE.) Tell us the tale of Father William! DORMOUSE But I don't know Father William. I haven't got all night, you know... ALICE Of what?

MAD HATTER Of joint - oh cursed spite! I swear we'll never get this right...

They continue to change places. ALICE I wish I were out!

MAD HATTER Of what? ALICE Of here. You mean hare.

DORMOUSE

MAD HATTER Shut your door, mouse! ALICE How do I find the Queen?

MAD HATTER Go through the forest. ALICE How do I find the forest?

MAD HATTER Go through the tree. ALICE How do I go through the tree?

MAD HATTER Through the door!

MAD HATTER You will once you've told us his tale. DORMOUSE

MARCH HARE Time.

"You are old, Father William, the young man said, And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head Do you think, at your age, it is right?" KNEE 6. FATHER WILLIAM FATHER WILLIAM and his SON appear, continue the song, and then act it out. SON

"I have answered three questions, and that is enough," Said his father. "Don't give yourself airs! Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff? Be off, or I'll kick you down stairs!" SCENE 6. THE WOOD WITHOUT NAMES ALICE has wandered into a dark wood. The WHITE RABBIT appears among the trees, calling her name. ALICE covers her ears. WHITE RABBIT Alice! Alice! Alice!

"You are old, Father William," the young man said, "And your hair has become very white; And yet you incessantly stand on your head Do you think at your age it is right?" FATHER

ALICE That can't be me. I am not she. How can that be? I should be me! The WHITE RABBIT vanishes.

"In my youth," Father William replied to his son "I feared it might injure the brain; But now that I'm perfectly sure I have none, Why, I do it again and again." SON "You are old," said the youth, "as I mentioned before, And you have grown most uncommonly fat; Yet you turned a back somersault in at the door Pray what is the reason of that?" FATHER

But where am I? And am I I? I cannot tell you why Or who or what is I No matter how I try. Enter a FAWN. Who are you? FAWN ALICE Who are you? I am me. So am I. I am me. Then we're we. We are?

"In my youth," said the sage, as he shook his gray locks, "I kept all my limbs very supple By the use of this ointment - one shilling the box Allow me to sell you a couple?" SON

FAWN ALICE FAWN

"You are old," said the youth, "and your jaws are too weak For anything tougher than suet; Yet you finished the goose, both the bones and the beak Pray, how did you manage to do it?" FATHER "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law, And argued each case with my wife; And the muscular strength that it gave to my jaw Has lasted the rest of my life." SON "You are old," said the youth, "one would hardly suppose That your eye was as steady as ever; Yet you balanced an eel on the end of your nose What made you so awfully clever?" FATHER

ALICE Don't you see? Here we are, just we two... FAWN I am I, you are you...

ALICE But what does it mean? And what should we do? FAWN ALICE FAWN ALICE FAWN How can we talk if we don't know who we are? How can we know who we are if we don't talk? What exactly do you mean? Well, I seem to be searching for something... Yes, I know what you mean.

ALICE FAWN

We seem to be searching together... Together! That's lovely, I think. Don't you?

The memories are short but the tales are long Down there on the Reeperbahn. They called her Rosie when she went to school For her bright red cheeks and her strawberry curls When she would sing the river would run She said she'd be a comedian Oh what a pity Oh what a shame When she said come calling, nobody came Now her bright red cheeks are painted on And she's laughing her head off in the Reeperbahn Now little Hans was always strange Wearing women's underthings His father beat him but he wouldn't change He ran off with a man one day Now his lingerie is all the rage In the black on every page His father proudly calls his name Down there in the Reeperbahn. Now if you've lost your inheritance And all you've left is common sense And you're not too picky about the crowd you keep Or the mattress where you sleep Behind every window, behind every door The apple is gone but there's always the core The seeds will sprout up right through the floor Down there in the Reeperbahn Down there in the Reeperbahn SCENE 7. THE TRIAL A large croquet ground. The BLACK KING and BLACK QUEEN play croquet with a crowd of CHESSMAN. Soon the DUCHESS, the MAD HATTER, and ALICE appear. Everyone looks at ALICE. BLACK QUEEN So. You finally got here. It's taken a while, I must say. But here we are at last. In front of all these people. What a shame. Aren't you ashamed? I would be. ALICE I haven't done anything wrong!

ALICE Oh, I do! I most certainly do! Shall we just go on searching forever? FAWN ALICE Together forever! That's lovely! Yes, that's what I meant...

They are so enchanted by their harmony that they begin to sing. But the song has no words in it. At the end of the song the trees begin to disappear, it begins to grow lighter, the forest turns to a clearing. ALICE and the FAWN look at one another. ALICE Why, you're a fawn!

FAWN So I am! A fawn! I'm a fawn! That's what we were searching for! And you are a - Oh my God! You're a girl! You're a little girl! Oh my God! Monster! Monster! Get away from me! Leave me alone! Get away! Away! Away! The FAWN runs off. ALICE I'm not a monster! And I am a little girl. That makes sense to me - and the fawn said I was, so that makes two of us. Yes, that must be right. I'm a little girl! The DUCHESS and the MAD HATTER enter, in a mad hurry on their way to the Queen's croquet party. DUCHESS The Queen! The Queen! I'll lose my head, I'll lose my head! My knick, my knack, my knock, my neck, Oh my! Goodbye! (and on and on ad lib) MAD HATTER We're late! We're late! The Queen won't wait! Oh jiminy jiminy jiminy! We're late! We're late!(and on and on ad lib) They go off in a hurry. ALICE follows them. KNEE 7. LETTERS II The CHESHIRE CAT walks slowly across the grass, dropping DODGSON's letters as he goes. Several CHESSMAN, the Queen's gardeners, enter. They find the letters and pick them up. Other CHESSMAN set up wickets for a croquet game. As the CHESSMAN assemble, the BLACK KING appears. BLACK KING (Sings.) Round the curve of a parrot bar A broken-down old movie star Hustling an Easterner Bringing out the beast in him A high dive in a swimming pool Filled with needles and with fools

BLACK QUEEN I'll be the judge of that. (To the KING.) And so will you, won't you, dear? And so will all the rest of us. We'll all be the judge of that. ALICE The judge of what?

BLACK QUEEN You know very well what. Otherwise you wouldn't have run away. ALICE I was just trying to find a way out...

BLACK QUEEN And you've just gotten yourself deeper and deeper in, haven't you? We have witnesses. And evidence. A CHESSMAN gives the letters to the QUEEN. BLACK QUEEN We have found a lot of letters And the sender isn't clear,

But we know who they were sent to And she's here. BLACK KING They must have come from someone, But the letters aren't signed, And without some sort of evidence I can't make up my mind. BLACK QUEEN The sender never signed them, So of course our course is clear: Arrest the girl whose name is on them ALICE A name! ... since she's here! Off with her head! Not ye, my dear, there are a lot of witnesses to

WHITE KNIGHT Here com I, a perfect gentle knight To open doors and fill the house with light; I come with hope, to put an end to night. I am here to defend who needs to be defended For a child in need must be always befriended As a broken toy can expect to be mended. (Sings.) They bought a round for the sailor And they heard his tale Of a world that was so far away And a song that we'd never heard A song of a little bird Who fell in love with a whale. He said: You cannot live in the ocean And she said to him: You never can live in the sky But the ocean is filled with tears And the sea turns into a mirror And there's a whale in the moon when it's clear And a bird on the tide. ALICE joins in the song. Please don't cry Let me dry Your eyes So tell me that you will wait for me Hold me in your arms I promise we never will part I'll never sail back to the time But I'll always pretend you're mine Though I know that we both must part You can live in my heart. The WHITE KNIGHT takes ALICE by the hand and leads her into the frame. The frame ascends. Blackout. ACT II KNEE 8. THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS An empty space. The WHITE KNIGHT alone. He dances dreamily. WHITE KNIGHT (Sings.)

BLACK QUEEN BLACK KING be heard first. DUCHESS

Aren't we going to play croquet?

BLACK QUEEN First we're going to play courtroom. Question: is she a little girl, or not? DUCHESS She wouldn't stay in the kitchen...

BLACK QUEEN Precisely! Then she's not really a little girl! Off with her head! DUCHESS But I haven't finished my testimony!

MAD HATTER And I haven't finished my tea! BLACK QUEEN You invited the accused to tea?

MAD HATTER I didn't invite her. She came uninvited. And she took a lot of time... BLACK QUEEN Then she's a thief as well! (To ALICE.) Well, I think we have enough evidence now. Yes, I think we do. (To ALICE.) Speak, boy! Do you admit your great guilt? ALICE I don't admit anything! That's important evidence! Off with her head! Call the executioner! Off with her head!

BLACK KING BLACK QUEEN

EXECUTIONER (Sings.) You've murdered the time and you must pay For the things you've done Drown him in tears I say And off with his bleeding head Hammer him into the ground As cold as a railroad spike. The EXECUTIONER seizes ALICE. A frame descends from the clouds, and the WHITE KNIGHT steps from it.

So tell me that you'll wait for me Hold me in your arms I promise we never will part I'll never sail back to the time But I'll always pretend you're mine Though I know that we both must part You can live in my heart. ALICE approaches from the empty distance. As she does so, a golden frame drops slowly out of the sky. ALICE goes up to it. On the other side of the frame the WHITE KNIGHT gestures, and ALICE mirrors movements. The WHITE KNIGHT stamps

his foot and ALICE crashes through the mirror. She is in a dark forest. ALICE Where am I? And what is my name? WHITE KNIGHT It doesn't make any sense to say where you are if you don't know what your name is. To know what your name is doesn't make sense when you can't say where you are. ALICE Is there a way to get out of here having gotten in?

ALICE

What was that?

WHITE KNIGHT Jabberwocky is a riddle. Find out what the riddle means, and you find your way out of the woods. ALICE How can I find out what it means?

WHITE KNIGHT How many doors did you open, coming in? So many questions must you ask, going out. Find the way out Within the way in. I come to care. Do not despair. Sings

WHITE KNIGHT Any way into the woods can also become a way out. It wouldn't be woods without a way out, and you'll find the way out within the way in. Listen! SCENE 8. JABBERWOCKY I Eight VICTORIAN VICARS dance onstage, singing. ALICE and the WHITE KNIGHT watch. CHORUS OF VICARS 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimbel in the wabe. All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun the frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand; Long time the manxome foe he sought. So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! Oh frabjous day! Calooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimbel in the wabe All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. The VICTORIAN VICARS dance off. ALICE and the WHITE KNIGHT remain. KNEE 9. THE RIDDLE ALICE, astonished, watches them dance off.

Everything you can think of is true Before the ocean was blue We were lost in a flood Run red with your bloods Nigerian skeleton crew Everything you can think of is true The dish ran away with a spoon Did deep in your heart for that little red glow We're decomposing as we go. Everything you can think of is true And fishes make wishes on you We're fighting our way up a dreamland spine With black flamingos, expensive wine. Everything you can think of is true The baby's asleep in your shoe Your teeth are buildings with yellow doors Your eyes are fish on a creamy shore. The WHITE KNIGHT vanishes. ALICE is alone. She sees a light shining deep in the forest. SCENE 9. WOOL AND WATER A shop suddenly materializes, and ALICE finds herself inside. Its thousands of shelves seem full until you look directly at them and realize they are empty. A large WHITE SHEEP sits knitting something from her own wool. SHEEP ALICE It's dark. Yes, it's dark.

SHEEP Very dark. This is not a pretty picture. This could be a pretty picture, It has been a pretty picture, But not now, no. ALICE No?

SHEEP No, not now, never. Oh, pity the sheep keeper keeping the sheep.

And pity the shop keeper keeping the shop. But I am a sheep who is keeping a shop, Keeping a shop where nothing is shipped. Oh, pity the shopper who shops in a shop Where nothing is shipped except sheep. Shipper and shopper and shepherd and sheep, It's almost enough to make you weep. ALICE Is nothing ever shipped to the shop?

ALICE and SHEEP (Sing.) A cloud lets go of the moon My ribbons are all out of tune I'm skating on the ice in a glass And in the hands of a man That I kissed on a train The children have all gone to town To get candy and we are Alone in the house here And your eyes fall down on me. And I belong only to you The water is filling my shoes In the wine of my heart there's a stone In a well made of bone I will bring to the pond And I'm here in your pocket Curled up in a dollar And the chain from your watch Around my neck And I'll stay right here till it's time. The girls all knit in the shade Before the baby is made The branches bend down to the ground Here to swing on And I'm lost in the blond summer grass And the train whistle blows And the carnival goes Till there's only the tickets and crows But the grass will all grow back And the branches Spell Alice And I belong to you. As they sail, a wall appears, with a large egg sitting upon it. ALICE leaps from the boat, and it sails off with the WHITE SHEEP. SCENE 10. HUMPTY DUMPTY A large egg-like creature, HUMPTY DUMPTY, sits on top of a wall. ALICE approaches. ALICE wall? If you please, Sir - what's on the other side of the

SHEEP Nothing. Nichts. Nada. Niente. Nichevo. Oh, there is sometimes, but you have to close your eyes to see it. See? She points to a shelf, where goods appear and disappear. ALICE SHEEP But I can't see anything. Then you're not using your imagination. In this part of

the woods, imagination is a great help. (She screams.) ALICE What's the matter?

SHEEP Nothing. It's just that I'm about to prick my finger. What exactly are you interested in buying? ALICE I'm trying to find out the meaning of Jabberwocky.

SHEEP We don't sell meanings, dear. We tried it for years. Threw out the old ones, invented all kinds of new ones, but it was no use. Nobody wanted to buy them. ALICE woods! But I've got to find the meaning so I can get out of the

SHEEP Calm down, dear. I've been lost in the woods for years now. It isn't so bad, really. (She smiles and holds up a bloody finger.) See? What did I tell you? Have an egg, that'll make you feel better. ALICE An egg?

SHEEP There's something very comforting about an egg: so perfectly smooth and white and round, a sense of completeness... ALICE Yes, an egg. I think I would like an egg!

HUMPTY DUMPTY ALICE I do.

Who wants to know?

SHEEP There's one on that shelf - at least there was a moment ago.... Well, no matter. We'll go find it for you. The SHEEP's chair turns into a boat. ALICE and the SHEEP get in it and sail away. KNEE 10. BARCAROLLE ALICE and the WHITE SHEEP sing as their boat drifts slowly along.

HUMPTY DUMPTY

And who are you?

ALICE I'm a little girl named... named... I'm afraid I don't know my name any more. But I thought perhaps there might be a door in the wall... HUMPTY DUMPTY A door!! You cannot have a door in a wall. You'd lose the wallness of it. If you could get through to the other side of a wall, what's the point of having it? ALICE What is on the other side, then?

HUMPTY DUMPTY Nothing, when you can't see what's there - or everything, since you can imagine whatever you please. On the other side of a wall, everything is possible, but nothing really exists. ALICE But you can see the other side, can't you?

There! And that's only a beginning. Never rely on the letter M. ALICE Why M? Why not?

HUMPTY DUMPTY

HUMPTY DUMPTY Of course I can, child. Someone always has to see both sides. I am the all-inclusive dialectic between here and there. If you want to know what's on the other side, you have to ask me. ALICE Wouldn't it be simpler just to tear down the wall?

ALICE Oh, you are the person I've been looking for! I'm trying to find out what "Jabberwocky" means. HUMPTY DUMPTY Jabberwocky again! They all want to know what Jabberwocky means. It's a wall of words, child, a wall of words. My advice to you is, see if it has any meaning without the words. ALICE But how can I do that? By holding still, child. Stand stock-still,

HUMPTY DUMPTY Don't even think that, child! Tear down the wall, what would become of me? ALICE An omelet, perhaps? What a nasty thing to say!

HUMPTY DUMPTY and watch.

HUMPTY DUMPTY ALICE

The eight VICTORIAN VICARS appear in front of the wall. KNEE 11. JABBERWOCKY II The VICARS perform Jabberwocky as a pantomime. ALICE watches, trying to understand what the gestures mean. When they leave, she looks questioningly at HUMPTY DUMPTY; he falls from the wall and breaks into pieces. A curtain falls. In front of it appear the MAD HATTER and the DUCHESS. They sing of a previous existence as dissolute clergymen. DUCHESS and MAD HATTER (Sing.) Now he's a halter boy Bound up in leather and chains What became of old Father Brown I'll never forget the Sunday he left He gave me something special in the rectory He's an Altar Boy He corrected me in the rectory And that's why I'm feeling so blue 'Cause I'm an Altar Boy What about you? Pater noster qui es in coelis Sanctificetur nomen tuum Adveniat regnum tuum. And I can order in Latin Make 'em au gratin, Joe 'Cause I'm an old Altar Boy I never got the rest of the dream Just the ritual Now I'm habitual Majoring in crimes that are unspeakable I'm an Altar Boy That's what happened to me. He's just an old Altar Boy Laying out there in the street He's an Altar Boy Hoping he can meet A woman dressed like a nun He knows there's got to be some around here Drinking across from the church

But I didn't mean

HUMPTY DUMPTY Precisely. You don't mean. You're like everybody else, you say, but you don't mean. Now I, on the other hand, mean - even when I don't say. Take this, for instance. Sings. Over here the ladies All want perfume But there's never a rose The roses are frightened to bloom So they never can grow. And over here they need wool For weaving baby's new clothes But nobody has any wool And the sheep are all lost In the harbor Lost in the harbor Sirens are heard. And over here They want diamonds to wear But there aren't any here And over there Everyone's hiding their tears. And the wall won't come down Till they are no longer afraid of themselves If you don't believe me, ask the elves And I can come down To the harbor Down to the harbor. And then I will Back up the ocean with my tears I still have a couple more years And then I can come back To the harbor Down to the harbor.

Just a little Father Cribari wine On a Sunday morning time Remembering when he was busier Now he's getting dizzier Fill it up, Joe, You know the routine, yeah, I'm an Altar Boy, oh yeah. Out there in the bar Making the scena With a novena Why is he winking At this time in his life He never took a wife 'Cause he's an old Altar Boy Drinking Cribari wine An Altar Boy Down here in his prime What became of him Well, he's looking up the dress Of Sister Marie As you can see He's rather depressed He hasn't been to Mass Since nineteen forty-three 'Cause he's an old Altar Boy He figured he got enough religion Already in him Now he's leafing through the dirty magazines He's an Altar Boy What became of him He's an old Altar Boy, yeah. SCENE 11. CHARLES DODGSON, ALONE It is late at night. DODGSON is alone in his room and cannot sleep. He stammers slightly on the letter "M". DODGSON My head hurt. You have to understand that, otherwise nothing makes any sense. It was the noise, I think. Crash, scream, cry, clatter, clang, constantly clang clang, everywhere that noise. It hurt my head. The clatter of dishes, and children screaming, and the darkness was stifling, the heat made me sweat. And the clocks! Clocks in their clocktowers, beating the hours. There was no way to make it stop. All night, sitting alone, scratching on paper, trying to drown out the noise. But it was always there. And then she came, and the noise stopped. Oh, I know you think this is fanciful, some sort of metaphor. No. No, I can assure you of that. Nothing in my life has ever been as real as the silence she brought me. Have you ever felt what it's like when a great noise stops? Days and months and years of screaming and crying, the crash of crockery, the whining of cats, and then suddenly nothing. Silence came down over everything, and I could hear it, I could hear the silence descending. That's wonderful, don't you think? To be able to hear the silence, rolling across me, across Oxford, across all England, like a great soft blanket of fog. She stood there in the doorway, that's all, and time stopped. And I became myself. That's wonderful, don't you think? I was suddenly myself for the first time. I was everything I'd always wanted to be, just because that girl stood there in the doorway.

And I thought, if only I can make time stop, she will stand there forever. Afterwards, of course, it grew darker. My head still hurt, only not so much. And not always. Mostly I was alone in a forest. I didn't know how I got there, but there seems to have been a path. Yes, I'm sure there was a path, you could see the white stones in the moonlight. Was there moonlight? Yes, there must have been moonlight, I could see the white stones. And everything else was stillness, a perfect unending stilllness, and for that I was glad. KNEE 12. DOUBLETS DODGSON, dressed in the academic robes of an Oxford professor, poses a number of puzzles for ALICE. STUDENTS help her to work out the answers by holding up cards with large letters printed on them. DODGSON ALICE LOVE. Turn HATE to LOVE.

HATE - HARE - HIRE - WIRE - WORE - LORE -

DODGSON ALICE

Make a BOY into a MAN.

BOY - TOY - TOP - MOP - MAP - MAN. Turn TEARS to SMILE.

DODGSON

ALICE TEARS - SEARS - STARS - STARE - STALE STILE - SMILE. SCENE 12. DUM AND DEE ALICE wanders further into the wood. She discovers two tiny men, TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE, dressed identically, mirror images of each other. TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE (They sing.) It always rains here... It always rains here... ALICE Who are you?

DUM I am Tweedledum. DEE ALICE And I am Tweedledee. Are you brothers?

DUM No! Contrariwise! DEE Contrariwise!

DUM I am I and he is he... DEE What do you take us for, a we?

ALICE

You look identical to me.

ALICE If you won't fight, he can't fight. And if he won't fight, you can't fight. DUM That'll never work.

DUM We're not! DEE Contrariwise! ALICE DUM I'm from the West, he's from the East. DEE DEE ALICE Contrariwise! I'm East, he's West. DUM No one could tell us apart. How do you tell the difference? They begin to duel with their umbrellas. DUM There isn't any. DEE DEE Quite the opposite. DUM Me too! DUM And contrariwise. They open their umbrellas. TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE (They sing.) ALICE It always rains here... It always rains here.... DUM It will be. Just wait. ALICE DEE Do you know Jabberwocky? DEE No, but if he lives in these woods, he knows us. There is a sudden clap of thunder, and the sky grows very dark. DUM Everybody in these woods knows us. DUM See? ALICE DEE And contrariwise. TWEEDLEDUM and TWEEDLEDEE (They sing.) They're all afraid of us. It always rains here... It always rains here... DUM That's because we're fighters! We're backwoodsmen. DEE ALICE Backward as they come. We live to fight! KNEE 13. THE THUNDERSTORM Who do you fight? A wild thunderstorm blows through the forest, and blows ALICE in its path. SCENE 13. WHITE KNIGHT AND BLACK KNIGHT ALICE is tossed about by the wind and rain. There is a sudden crash of thunder and lightning, and the BLACK KNIGHT appears. He is dressed identically to the WHITE KNIGHT, with his visor down. BLACK KNIGHT Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! You're m-mm-m-y... Suddenly there is another crash of thunder and lightning, and the WHITE KNIGHT appears, with his visor down and his face hidden. WHITE KNIGHT Ahoy! Ahoy! Ahoy! Check! DUM and DEE both run away and leave ALICE. The thunderstorm begins. Run for shelter! But it isn't raining! Uh-oh! I'm soaking wet! If we don't fight each other... Why not?

DUM Each other! DEE ALICE And contrariwise! But why?

DUM Because we're both so alike. DEE Whenever he fights, I fight too!

DUM And whenever I fight, he fights too! ALICE Why not contrariwise?

DUM What? DEE What?

BLACK KNIGHT

She's m-m-m-my prisoner, you know.

They are impossible to separate Chained together for life. Finally the bell tolled his doom He took a suite of rooms And hung himself and her From the balcony irons Some still believe he was freed from her But I knew her too well I say she drove him to suicide And took Poor Edward to hell. The WHITE KNIGHT stands, and slowly turns around. On the back of his head there is indeed a woman's face. He exits. SCENE 14. THE TRIAL II The croquet ground, as in scene seven. The BLACK QUEEN, BLACK KING, CHESSMAN, DUCHESS, MAD HATTER are all where we saw them last. ENSEMBLE (Sings.) You've murdered the time and you must pay For the things you've done Drown him in tears I say And off with his bleeding head Hammer him into the ground As cold as a railroad spike Take the eyes from his head And boil him until he's dead Choke the life from As cold as the hands of time You're now in the hands of time Enter the BLACK KNIGHT and ALICE as his prisoner. BLACK QUEEN So. Here we are again. And we thought we could get away with something, didn't we? Going off like that, with a man old enough to be your father! Guilty, I'd say. Definitely guilty. ALICE But what is my guilt? Look at these letters! All of them scrawled

WHITE KNIGHT Well, we must fight for her then. They fight. The BLACK KNIGHT knocks the WHITE KNIGHT to the ground. The WHITE KNIGHT lies unconscious, his helmet off. The thunderstorm begins to recede. ALICE Oh, you've killed him! Nonsense, I've only knocked him silly.

BLACK KNIGHT He's unconscious.

ALICE Oh, the poor old man! Please, please, dear sir, wake up, wake up! (She tries to revive him.) BLACK KNIGHT Be careful! He's dreaming now. And what do you suppose he's dreaming about? ALICE Nobody can guess that.

BLACK KNIGHT He's dreaming about you. And if he woke up and stopped dreaming, where do you think you'd be? ALICE Where I am now, of course.

BLACK KNIGHT You'd be nowhere! You're only a sort of thing in his dream! You'd go out like a candle. Bang! Just like that! ALICE If I'm only a thing in his dream, what about you?

BLACK KNIGHT Ditto! Ditto! But I am a power here in these woods, and only the answer to the riddle of Jabberwocky can defeat m-m-me, and you have found nothing. You are m-m-my prisoner. You m-m-must come to the Queen, who will cut off your head. The BLACK KNIGHT leads ALICE away. The dark sky begins to brighten. KNEE 14. FISH AND BIRD The thunderstorm has passed. The WHITE KNIGHT lies alone on the ground. He comes to, sits up, and sings. WHITE KNIGHT (Sings.) Did you hear the news about Edward? On the back of his head He had another face Was it a woman's face Or a young girl? They said to remove it would kill him So poor Edward was doomed The face could laugh and cry It was his Devil twin And at night she spoke to him Of things heard only in Hell

BLACK QUEEN with your name! ALICE

But I didn't write them, and I don't know who did! No matter. Off with her head!

BLACK QUEEN

Enter the WHITE KNIGHT. WHITE KNIGHT The little girl is innocent. The guilty one is here. BLACK KING And who are you, exactly, if one may ask?

WHITE KNIGHT I am the White Knight. I am the one who wrote the letters.

General sensation in the court. BLACK QUEEN AT last! A criminal! A confessed criminal! Off with his head! ENSEMBLE Off with his head! Off with his head! They lead the WHITE KNIGHT to the guillotine. Drum rolls, thunder crash, flash of camera, blackout. The WHITE KNIGHT's head falls, but he now appears as the WHITE RABBIT. General sensation. BLACK QUEEN And who are you?

LEWIS CARROLL Oh, but of course the story isn't over yet. ALICE (Gives a little shriek) It isn't?

LEWIS CARROLL No, first you must solve the riddle. You must tell me what Jabberwocky means. ALICE whispers in his ear. He smiles. She whispers again. He continues to smile. She whispers again. His face falls. He leaves. She smiles and starts to leave. We suddenly see her as an old woman. ALICE I went to a circus when I was a little girl, and I saw two old ladies who were joined at the hip and I asked them how they got along, and the dark-haired one told me they hadn't spoken a word to each other in thirty years "but we still get together over the holidays." And Dodgson told me once when I was a young girl on one of three long summer afternoons that he had vanished into a dream and was still inside it and that I was in it too, for I live in his dream. He had fallen on the ice that time and broke his watch and he said he would never get it fixed and that neither of us are real and anything can happen and we will only wake up when we die. And he gave me a song in that dream and I haven't sung this in years and now I get up every day and put on the face I face the world with. Sings: You haven't looked at me that way in years You dreamed me up and left me here How long was I dreaming for What was it you wanted me for You haven't looked at me that way in years. Your watch has stopped and the pond is clear Someone turn the lights back off I'll love you till the wheels come off I remember you with leaves in your hair But I'm still here. CURTAIN

WHITE RABBIT I am the White Rabbit. I am the one who wrote the letters. General sensation in the court. BLACK QUEEN Another confessed criminal! Better and better! Off with his head! They lead the WHITE RABBIT to the guilllotine. Drum rolls, thunder crash, flash of camera, blackout. The WHITE RABBIT loses his head, and is now CHARLES DODGSON. General sensation. BLACK QUEEN And who are you?

DODGSON My name is Charles Dodgson. I am the one who wrote the letters. General sensation in the court. BLACK QUEEN Another criminal! This is better than croquet! Off with his head! DODGSON myself. Let me assist you. This time, I take my head off

He takes off his beard and wig and steps forward. BLACK QUEEN And who are you?

LEWIS CARROLL It is I who have written you all. (He takes the stack of letters from the BLACK QUEEN.) I took a photograph, and made time stand still. Now it continues its march. You wanted a verdict? Here. I tear up what I've written, you all disappear. The case is closed. He burns one letter after another, and one after another the Wonderland characters vanish. LEWIS CARROLL and ALICE are left alone. ALICE Thank you.

LEWIS CARROLL What for? ALICE again. Now that the story is over, I think perhaps I can grow