Article appeared Friday, August 12th, 2011 in The News Today, Bangladesh

The Revelation (191)

yousuf mahbubul Islam, PhD

What is the role of the members of a family in our lives? To help us understand, in a sermon titled The Importance of the Family Elder L. Tom Perry quotes from the Bible and a church proclamation saying: Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. Children are a heritage of the Lord (Psalms 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wivesmothers and fatherswill be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. {1} Preservation of the family unit is therefore a responsibility entrusted by our Creator. Why? What happens if the family unit breaks up? What happens to growing children who find themselves a part of a broken family? Researching on the ability of such adolescents to socially adjust medical doctors Roustit, Chaix and Chauvin report: All 4 of the indicators of psychosocial maladjustment were significantly associated with family breakup. The association between family breakups and internalizing disorders was mediated by parental psychological distress and low paternal emotional support. {2} Pediatrician and author of a parenting book titled Dr. Mom Marianne E. Neifert points out what a healthy family environment means to a growing child: The family is both the fundamental unit of society as well as the root of culture. It ... is a perpetual source of encouragement, advocacy, assurance, and emotional refueling that empowers a child to venture with confidence into the greater world and to become all that he has potential for. {3} With time, how likely is it that a person from a broken family can eventually become a successful parent himself or herself? As Ringgold Wilmer Lardner (1885 1933), a sports columnist and short story writer points to the importance of the succeeding generation: The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have. {3} A broken family can therefore potentially lead to successive broken generations and eventually a broken nation {4}. To provide each child, including other children under care, with resources to subsequently set up their own families, our Creator has provided a system of inheritance as well as provided guidelines that pave the way for reconciliation rather than breakup after disagreements. Let us look at related commandments given in the most recent Revelation, the Qurn:

4.33 To everyone We have appointed sharers and heirs to property left by parents and relatives. To those also to whom your right hand was pledged give their due portion: for truly Allah is Witness to all things.
In addition, Allah provides guidelines for functioning of the family unit and survival as an institution.

4.34 Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in (the

husband's) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct admonish them (first) (next) refuse to share their beds (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience seek not against them means (of annoyance): for Allah is Most High Great (above you all).
Shezad Saleem points out the conditions for applying the stage-by-stage rules: In case a wife adopts a rebellious attitude with her husband and challenges his guardianship, the Qur'an has laid down a complete procedure to deal with this situation. It must remain clear that this procedure must only be adopted in the extreme situation when a wife is guilty of disrupting the discipline of the family set-up. Any difference of opinion or altercation is not to be resolved by this procedure. Disagreements and disputes must be settled mutually. It is only when the wife actively stands up against the authority of her husband should this course of action be employed. {5} Turning to the Bible, we find a similar commandment relating to relationship between husband and wife. ...Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you. [Genesis, 3-16] And if matters have reached a point of breakdown of the marriage:

4.35 If you fear a breach between them, appoint (two) arbiters one from his family and the other from hers; if they wish for peace Allah will cause their reconciliation: for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things.
As created beings, the nature of a man or a woman is also created. The Creator, therefore, being the manufacturer, provides the best guidelines for conduct in all situations. However, if a person feels that he or she knows better than the Creator, we should remind ourselves that it is Allah alone who defines righteous conduct:

4.36 Serve Allah and join not any partners with Him: and do good to parents kinsfolk orphans those in need neighbors who are near neighbors who are strangers the companion by your side the traveller (you meet) and what your right hands possess: for Allah loves not the arrogant the conceited.
Warren (2002, p.37) attempts to help us understand our natures as well as our arrogant attitudes towards the Creator: Each of us was uniquely designed by God with talents, gifts, skills, and abilities. The way you're "wired" is not an accident. God didn't give you your abilities for selfish purposes. They were given to benefit others, just as others were given abilities for your benefit. The Bible says, "God has given gifts to each of you from his great variety of spiritual gifts. Manage them well so that God's generosity can flow through you.... Are you called to help others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then God will be given glory. {6} -----{Notes}:
{1} http://lds.org/Static%20Files/PDF/Manuals/TheFamily_AProclamationToTheWorld_35538_eng.pdf {2} http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/120/4/e984.full {3} http://www.familyquotes4u.com/ {4} http://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1198962/Yes-family-breakdown-IS-broken-Britain-Top-judgesays-national-tragedy-attacks-BBC-suppressing-debate.html {5} http://www.renaissance.com.pk/myed95.html {6} Warren, R. (2002). Purpose Driven Life What on earth am I here for? Zondervan