Three Buddhist monks decided to practise meditation together.

They sat by the side of a lake and closed their eyes in concentration. Then suddenly, the first one stood up and said, I forgot my mat. He steeped miraculously onto the water in front of him and walked across the lake to their hut on the other side. When he returned, the second monk stood up and said, I forgot to put my underwear out to dry. He too walked calmly across the water and returned the same way. The third monk watched the first two carefully in what he decided must be the test of his own abilities. Is your learning so superior to mine? I too can match any feat you two can perform, he declared loudly and rushed to the waters edge to walk across it. He promptly fell into the deep water. Undeterred, the monk climbed out of the water and tried again, only to sink into the water. Yet again he climbed out and yet again he tried, each time sinking into the water. This went on for some time as the other two monks watched. After a while, the second monk turned to the first and said, Do you think we should tell him where the stones are?

A long time ago on a secluded island in the middle of a large and pristine lake, in an old hut in a clearing surrounded by beautiful trees, a young monk lived, meditating diligently. He had been on the island for a long time having departed from his teachers monastary with the intention of not returning until he had made the big break throughFull Awakening His days were spent in total solitude. He did not even see the man who rowed over on a weekly basis, bringing his supplies. One night, after a particularly blissful day, (and it was a full moon night too) he joined the ranks of the fully enlightened beings!! Out of deep compassion he decided to share his wisdom with others and naturally he was going to tell his teacher first. He thought happily of his teacher and how much he owed him. Carefully and very beautifully he penned these words on a thick piece of parchment: The monk, meditating diligently is no longer moved by the four worldly winds. The next time the small supply boatman rowed in, it was to see the young monk standing on the little jetty. As the boat approached, the monk looked up very slowly, his

face glowing, a serious expression on his face. He handed the astonished boatmen a scroll case, saying only these words take this back to my teacher. The boatmen, after unloading his boat, did as he was asked. After a whole week had passed, the young monk went down to the jetty very early in the morning, eagerly scanning the horizon for perhaps the master himself in a grand boat followed by the entire monastic community He would treat them all to his wisdom if that was so. It would not be right to hold back what he had gained. Finally, on the horizon, the monk saw the small boat. Perhaps it was just the teacher. As the boat drew closer he saw to his surprise that it was just the boatmen, who after unloading his supplies, handed him what looked very much like the same piece of parchment he had written and sent a week ago. He took it out of its case, unrolled it and saw his beautiful black caligraphy: The monk, meditating diligently is no longer moved by the four worldly winds. And across his beautiful black caligraphy (which had taken a long time to write) in red ball point pen (it wasnt that long ago) were the four words, fart, fart, fart, fart. The glow faded from his face, fury replaced it and he

stomped into the boat, demanding: take me to the master! And so the monk left his island and entered again the hallowed hall of the monastary where he had gone forth. He marched furiously to the masters study, didnt bother knocking, rushed to his desk, slammed down the parchment and scowled into the teachers face What is the meaning of this? he spat. The master looked at him and said The monk, meditating diligently is no longer moved by the four worldly winds; yet four little farts have blown you all the way across the lake.

Q. Why did the Buddhist coroner get the sack? A. He kept putting down birth as the cause of death.

Lord Buddha and some of his disciples were near a river waiting for the boatman to come when a Yogi came, looked at them sarcastically and WALKED on the water to cross the river. Disciples looked the Lord Buddha but he did not responded. Later Buddha asked the boatsman how much he charged to take them across and he replied with a value of a very small coin. Buddha then told his

disciples the Yogi who meditated for most of his life to learn how to walk on the water wasted all his life to learn a trick worth a value of that small coin and went on to say to his followers to never "show off" such "miracles" to impress people.

Udder Compassion When Geshe Rabten was explaining the difference between boundless compassion and great compassion to a small group of students in a monastery in Switzerland, he gave the analogy of different ways of responding to a cow that has gotten bogged down in a sewage pit. A person who had cultivated boundless compassion would view the cow as if it were his dear friend, and he would try and free it with ropes and the assistance of other people helping out from the firm ground outside the pit. But a bodhisattva with great compassion, taking personal responsibility for the cow's rescue, would do everything possible to free it, including jumping down into the pit. When one of his students askes whehter we should regard ourselves as being like the bodhisattva, Geshe Rabten said bluntly, "You're the cow!"

Meditation - It's better than sitting around and doing nothing.

Gautama Buddha's preaching was interrupted one day by a man unleashing a flurry of abusive invective. Calmly waiting for his critic to finish, Buddha asked: "If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?" "To the one who offered it," the man replied. "Then," Buddha declared, "I decline to accept your abuse and request that you keep it for yourself."