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Why all Rugby League players are muppets

Y es , y ou better believ e it w w w .dy lanmalloc h.c om is bac k f r om the dead. Well, it w as nev er ac tually dead as s uc h, I jus t los t the pas s w or d to my f tp s er v er s o I c ouldnt ac tually update it. Nev er theles s , w hile y ou w er e all pining aw ay f or an update, I s tar ted thinking about w hat I c ould do to update my s ite w hen I f inally got my login details bac k. Then, it hit me. Figur ativ ely s peaking of c our s e... w hat ac tually c ame to me w as a moment of c omplete c lar ity r egar ding a s por t that ac tually us ed to be my f av our ite s por t in the univ er s e: Rugby League. Y ou s ee, bac k in Pr imar y Sc hool, s pec if ic ally y ear s 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6, I w as the bigges t Rugby League f an on the planet. I made my Dad take me to ev er y Canber r a Raider s matc h at Br uc e Stadium. I dont think he ac tually w anted to go. In f ac t, I dont think he ev en liked Rugby League. In f ac t, Im quite s ur e he does nt. A ny w ay , the point is , I w as addic ted. The f as t r unning. The mas s iv e tac kling. The s kilf ul kic king. The bullet- like pas s es . The game w as jus t damn ex c iting. How ev er , s omething I think of w hen I r eminis c e on Rugby Leagues glor y day s is not s imply how the quality of the play w as better ; how the r ules w er e better , or how the c r ow ds w er e mor e into the game. Rather , I think about s omething that w as non- ex is tent. Dodgy play er behav iour . Now , its entir ely pos s ible that its jus t bec aus e I w as too y oung to know better that I w as obliv ious to w hat w as r eally going on, how ev er I dont think s o. Looking bac k thr ough the ar c hiv es , y oull be luc ky to c ome ac r os s many s tor ies of s ex ual as s ault allegations , dr unken nights on the tow n w her e r ules w er e br oken, or mas s iv e f ights br eaking out. Per s onally , I think this is bec aus e of thr ee r eas ons . 1. Bac k then, play er s w er ent the s uper s tar s they ar e today . Sur e, they w er e better play er s , but they didnt hav e the s uper s tar r ec ognition. This is bec aus e of a number of r eas ons . Fir s tly , ther e w as no national TV c ov er age other than Fr iday Night Football and an hour of Sunday f ootball highlights . That w as it. Thes e day s , ev er y game is br oadc as t in its entir ety either liv e or in delay ed Pr ime Time. In es s enc e, play er s get a lot mor e ex pos ur e thes e day s . A ls o, it w as nt a national c ompetition. The early nineties w ere Rugby League's glory days.

Bac k in thos e day s the League w as s till tr y ing to w or k out how it c ould es c ape f r om being a Sy dney s ubur ban c ompetition. The League w as s till r ef er r ed to as the New South Wales Rugby League ( NSWRL) s o ther ef or e ther e w as little to no national ex pos ur e again. If y ou w er e in Melbour ne and s aid, w ho w on the Rugby League tonight, y ou ar e guar anteed that they r es pondent w ould s tar e at y ou and w onder if y ou w er e either a) on c r ac k, or b) on mar ijuana. A gain ex pos ur e w as les s .

Whats my point? Well, if a Rugby League play er had a big night, it s imply w as nt new s . It w as the equiv alent of y ou or me hav ing a big night on the tow n and s omeone taking a c ompr omis ing photo of y ou. What w ould be the r es ult? Well, if y ou w er e to c all Jac queline Magnay f r om the Sy dney Mor ning Her ald and s ay Gues s w hat, my mate got plas ter ed las t night and I hav e photos ! s he w ould hang up on y ou quic ker than Bar ac k Obama w ould hang up on Kev in Rudd. Its not new s . Same thing bac k then s inc e nobody r eally knew w ho half the play er s in Rugby League w er e, it w ouldnt make headlines .

The NSWRL had trouble initially dealing w ith breaking into a national audience.

2. The dr inking c ultur e that is lambas ted today , w as def initely not an is s ue in the ear ly nineties /late eighties . In f ac t, the dr inking c ultur e w as c elebr ated by all. Rather than pitc hing Rugby League as a national game, the League s till embr ac ed its

w or ker s c lubs her itage. Tw o ex amples :

Fir s tly , do y ou r emember the 1991 Gr and Final? I do. In f ac t I s till w ake up in a c old s w eat in the middle of the night af ter a nightmar e inv olv ing Gr eg A lex ander kic king a f ield goal. A ny w ay , w henev er either team w ould s c or e a tr y , the TV c ov er age ( Channel 10 w ith the immor tal Gr ahame Hughes pr ov iding the play - by - play ) w ould c ut to the s c or ing teams Leagues Club w her e they w ould s how dr unken y obbos going abs olutely nuts . Es s entially , nobody c ar ed that people w er e getting plas ter ed w hile w atc hing the game. It w as c elebr ated... on liv e TV .

Sec ondly , w hen the Raider s w on the 1990 Gr and Final, the team w as heading bac k to Canber r a by bus . Y ep by bus . No pr iv ate jets her e f olks ! What happened though, w as that Laur ie Daley w as s o dr unk that he dec ided to hold the Winf ield Cup ( y ep, a c igar ette s pons or ed tr ophy thos e w er e the day s ) out the bus w indow and pr oc eeded to dr op it. The tr ophy s hatter ed. Imagine if a dr unken Manly play er had dr opped the Tels tr a Cup dur ing las t y ear s Gr and Final c elebr ations . The upr oar w ould hav e been deaf ening. Statements w ould be is s ued f r om ev er y w her e w ith s tatements like br inging the game into dis r epute and dont they know they r e r ole models ? What happened then? Simple the new s c ov er age w as laughable. The f ac t that it w as dr opped w as c elebr ated by f ans , media and play er s alike. Oh how f ar w e hav e c ome. Dylan still has nightmares about the 1991 Grand Final.

3. Las tly , and this is s imilar to point one, the play er s w er ent pr of es s ionals , and they c er tainly w er ent paid any w her e near w hat they r e paid today . When Laur ie Daley s c or ed the s ec ond tr y of the 1990 Gr and Final, Channel 10 s how ed an inf or mation gr aphic that had Daley s oc c upation lis ted. Thats r ight, they lis ted his oc c upation ev en though he w as play ing in the Rugby League Gr and Final! Ev en mor e c r az y , gues s w hat his oc c upation w as .

Ready ?

A tr uc k dr iv er .

Y ep, y ou r ead that r ight. So, that means that play er s had les s c as h, les s pr of ile, and dr unkennes s w as c elebr ated. No w onder the NRL is hav ing a har d time s tamping out bad play er behav iour . They r e not jus t r ailing agains t play er s w ith a gr eater number of f r ont teeth than IQ, they r e tr y ing to r einv ent the c ultur e of an entir e game that has been ar ound f or 100 y ear s ! Ok, I s hould c lear s omething up. Im not def ending League play er s . In my books they ar e all c omplete muppets . How ev er , it s hould giv e y ou a little idea into w hy League play er s ar e s uc h muppets . What is the s tupides t ex ample of this dodgy behav iour ? Well, Br ett Stew ar t w elc ome to the pr ogr am! Br ett Stew ar t ( Manly s f ullbac k) w as the put f or w ar d as the f ac e of the game in 2009. He w as identif ied as being a highly s killed play er w ith ex c ellent mor als . Sur ely he c ouldnt r uin the game? Well, Stew ar t s tepped up to the plate s pec tac ular ly . Not only w as he es c or ted out of a pub les s than 8 hour s af ter the s eas ons launc h bec aus e he w as unable to s tand, but he w as als o c har ged w ith s ex ual as s ault. Oh the humanity ! To f ur ther the c as e agains t Stew ar t, at the s eas on launc h he s at dow n w ith Channel Nines T he F ooty Show ( by f ar the w or s t ex ample of s por ting analy s is in human his tor y ) and w as as ked about if he f elt ex tr a pr es s ur e giv en that hed be under gr eater s c r utiny as the f ac e of the game. Stew ar ts ans w er w as bas ic ally : Its the r es pons ibility of ev er y play er to ens ur e the f ans keep c oming bac k to the game. I s uppos e w e hav en't helped out matter s , s ome blokes getting in tr ouble w hatev er ... I don't know ...w hat do y ou do? Y ou'v e jus t got to be aw ar e of it w hen y ou go out, jus t know y ou'r e alw ay s being w atc hed. Wow Br ett. A r ound of applaus e to y ou. I hope he r ealis es that f or the nex t f iv e y ear s at leas t he w ill hav e z er o c r edibility . He goes on c amer a c laiming to hav e an inc r eas ed under s tanding of play er s r es pons ibility , y et les s than 10 hour s later , he is too dr unk to s tand and c har ged w ith s ex ual as s ault. What a muppet. Es s entially the f utur e of Rugby League is in its ow n hands . Until the League r ealis es that it c ant c hange a 100 y ear old dr unken c ultur e w ith a play er s agr eement then ther e w ill be no c hange in play er behav iour . Until the NRL r ealis e w hat to do, y ou c an ex pec t to s ee Brett Stew art has cemented himself as an all-time muppet.

as many s tor ies about dodgy play er behav iour as y ou w ould hear of Linds ay Lohan's dodgy behav iour . Har dly an aw ar d- w inning ef f or t.. What do I think the NRL s hould do? I hav e a f ew ideas , but Iv e alr eady w r itten ov er 1300 w or ds s o I think Ill leav e that f or another time. Feel f r ee to email me y our thoughts though.. Clic k her e to email Dy lan about the abov e c olumn. Clic k her e to go bac k to the homepage.

Lindsay Lohan still attracts her share of controversy.