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I Love Sports... But...

I lov e s por t. Sur e, ther e ar e s ome s por ts I like mor e than other s , but on the w hole, I think y ou c an c ategor is e me as a c er tif ied s por ts junkie. If I dont get my f ix of s por ts eac h w eek, w ho know s w hat w ill happen to me? A ny thing c ould happen! Y ou might f ind me up at 3:30am w atc hing a 53 y ear old man s w ing a golf c lub in the hope of s eeing s omething amaz ing. Y ou might f ind me tr av elling all the w ay to the USA jus t to s ee a s ingle game of bas ketball. I dont jus t lov e my s por t; I need my s por t. One of the things about being s o pas s ionate about s por t though, is that y ou bec ome pas s ionate about a team or a play er . If y our e a f an of s por t, but y ou dont hav e any teams that y ou s uppor t, its the equiv alent of liking mus ic but not hav ing any ar tis t that y oud w ant to go s ee in c onc er t; a little w eir d. The thing about s por t though, is that it hooks into y our c ompetitiv e ins tinc ts and allow s y ou to r eleas e them by s uppor ting a par tic ular per s on or team. Y ou w ant y our team to w in! Y ou w ant y our team to w in mor e than s c or ing a date w ith Jennif er Haw kins ( ok, not that muc h but if its a gr and f inal then may be ok not ev en then, but y ou get my point) . Hav e y ou s een how pumped up people get w hen they r e pas s ionately c heer ing f or their f av our ite team? Hav e y ou s een the r iots in Eur ope w hen tw o big s oc c er c lubs c las h? Both lots of s uppor ter s s uppor t their team w ith gus to, and ar e w illing to do w hatev er it takes to beat the other team, ev en if that means thr ow ing c lus ter bombs into a c r ow d of oppos ition s uppor ter s that w ill likely c aus e ins tant death f or the mas s es . Its like being in a w ar z one. Im s ur e if y ou go thr ough the lis t of inter national c onf lic ts f r om the pas t 75 y ear s , y ou ar e guar anteed to f ind at leas t 4 that hav e s tar ted ov er s ome s or t of s por ting def eat. Im ev en w illing to bet that A us tr ia- Hungar y inv aded Ser bia in 1914 ov er a s oc c er matc h r ather than the A us tr ian pr inc e being as s as s inated One of the natur al pr ogr es s ions of s uppor ting a team though is that y ou f eel an admir ation of s or ts f or its play er s . Y ou w ant their autogr aph. Y ou w ant y our pic tur e taken w ith them. Y ou hav e pos ter s of them on y our w all. Y ou idolis e s ome of them. Y ou w ant to donate money to s ome of them. Y our e w illing to tur n gay f or s ome of them of s c r atc h that las t one, but y ou get my point ( on a s ide note, s ome f emale s por ts s tar s y ou jus t s uppor t s imply bec aus e they r e hot A nna Raw s on any one?) . Of ten though, this leads to y ou being able to f or giv e them f or any s or t of indis c r etion. A nd thats the pr oblem. On the w eekend, the Canber r a Raider s bes t play er Todd Car ney w ent out to A ll Bar Nun in OConnor and had a bit too muc h to dr ink. Not s uc h a punis hable c r ime, but w hen y ou then c ons ider that he ur inated on another per s on? What the hell kind of a thing to do is that? A dd to this , that its the lates t dev elopment in a long lis t of indis c r etions f or the Raider s half bac k. Las t s eas on he had his dr iv er s lic ens e s us pended f or dr iv ing WA A A A Y Y Y Y Y ov er the legal limit. Then les s than 6 months later he led polic e on a c ar c has e thr ough mos t of Canber r a and w hen it w as c lear he w as nt going to out- dr iv e them he ditc hed the c ar and tr ied to out- r un them. Lame Todd. Lame. Now , if this w er e a r egular member of s oc iety , y ou ar e pr etty muc h guar anteed that thes e ins tanc es of behav iour w ould not only ens ur e y ou w er e f ir ed f r om y our job ( in f ac t I think my bos s w ould do his bes t to make s ur e I nev er got a job in A us tr alia ev er again and ens ur ed Id be f ound dead in the bac k alley of Chippendale) , but ther es a high c hanc e y ou Anna Raw son is arguably the hottest female athlete on Earth.

The Shark turned back the clock at the 2008 British Open.

w ouldv e f ac ed s ome pr is on time too. But w ait! If y our e good at s por ts , its the equiv alent of a get out of jail f r ee c ar d in Monopoly . The s imple f ac t is that member s of the public and s por ts team ow ner s ar e w illing to ov er look almos t any indis c r etion if it helps their team to w in. The mentality r emains the s ame: w in at all c os ts . It does nt matter w hic h s por t y ou take, y ou ar e guar anteed that ther e w ill be c ompetitor s w ho ar e able to av oid the pr os ec ution that us mer e mor tals w ould r ec eiv e s imply bec aus e they hav e s ome manner of s por ting s kill. Quite f r ankly , thats a c r oc k. I r ec ently r ead a book c alled Out of Bounds . It w as w r itten on a s imilar topic and its bas ic ally a muc h longer , and muc h better ar gument than the one Iv e been tr y ing to outline s o f ar in this c olumn. This is bec aus e he w as being paid to inv es tigate the is s ues of c r imes in s por t w hile Im jus t doing it bec aus e Im bor ed. Es s entially though, his book dealt w ith a number of ex amples of A mer ic an bas ketball play er s per f or ming v ar ious c r imes ( mos t notably r ape) and av oiding the c ons equenc es . Why do thes e play er s per f or m s o many ter r ible c r imes ? They f eel inv inc ible. They ar e Super man. Y ou know the f eeling; its as if nothing c an touc h y ou. The law ? Thats f or los er s to w or r y about. Y ou ar e abov e the law . Its like w alking into a par ty w ith the hottes t gir l in the w or ld on y our ar m. Y ou know ev er y one w ants to be y ou and ther es nothing they c an do about it. Inc identally , going out to dinner w ith an inc r edibly attr ac tiv e w oman is f antas tic f or dr aw ing env ious looks f r om ev er y other male w ithin a 50 f oot r adius . I did this on Wednes day night and I f elt like r oy alty . Good times ahem any w ay , s por ts play er s f eel inv inc ible. Thats w hen it happens . They s ee s omething they w ant? They take w hat they w ant. They dont think about the c ons equenc es bec aus e deep dow n, they know that ther e w ill be no c ons equenc es ! They c an do w hatev er y ou w ant. If y our e ev er going to s or t out behav iour al is s ues in s por ts , y ou need to s how that thes e guy s ar ent abov e the law . If play er s dont think they c an get aw ay w ith things , c hanc es ar e that its les s likely they ll tr y to get aw ay w ith things . Ther e has to be s ome f or m of deter r ent. What that deter r ent is ? I hav e no idea. May be its a lif etime ban. May be its ac tual pr is on time f or a play er . May be its 2 w eeks w ithout w omen. I dont know . What I do know is that the longer play er s get aw ay w ithout c ons equenc es , the pr oblems ar ent going to go aw ay either . So NRL, NBA , A FL etc get up of f y our laz y butts and do s omething f or onc e. Until then, the pr oblems w ill r emain, and that guy f r om A ll Bar Nun w ill def initely need a new pair of tr ous er s Too many sports stars think they're the Man of Steel. Todd Carney comes under the category of: Muppet.

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