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The Summer Movie Review - 2008

So, the s ummer holiday s ar e ov er w ell, f or thos e of us w ho hav e to w or k any w ay . One par t of the s ummer holiday s that us ually ex c ites me gr eatly ( apar t f r om pr es ents , alc ohol and par ties in Br is bane w ith Geof f and Dav e) is the s ummer mov ie lineup. Box ing Day is D- Day f or hit mov ies . 99% of the time, its w hen the bigges t bloc kbus ter s ar e r eleas ed. Eac h Lor d of the Rings mov ie c ame out on Box ing Day . Inv ar iably a James Bond f ilm w ill c ome out on Box ing Day . Quite s imply , its a gr eat time to be at the mov ies . Ex c ept this y ear . I dont think Iv e s een a lamer New Y ear s lineup of mov ies . When the mos t ex c iting bloc kbus ter av ailable on Box ing Day is the s equel to National Tr eas ur e, y ou know s omething is s er ious ly w r ong. Now , I w ent to s ee the National Tr eas ur e s equel, and to its c r edit, it w as nt all that bad. But her es the thing. If y ou go to a bloc kbus ter mov ie in the Chr is tmas holiday s y ou dont w ant to w alk out of the c inema thinking to y our s elf hey , w ell that w as nt that bad. Y ou w ant to be s c r eaming This w as one of the bes t damn mov ies Iv e ev er s een! A nd if any one s aid that about National Tr eas ur e, then they hav e as muc h c r edibility in my ey es as an ar t c r itic . What other f ilms ar e ther e? Some lame piec e of gar bage c alled A tonement w hic h looks like a c heaps kate take on Pr ide and Pr ejudic e. Enc hanted no good unles s y our e being f or c ed to take y our 5 y ear old niec e to the c inema. A lien v s Pr edator pleas e. P.S. I lov e y ou har dly w or thy of Chr is tmas bloc kbus ter s tatus . The Golden Compas s looks like it c ould be ok ( has Daniel Cr aig in it) s o Im r es er v ing judgement on this one. Mos t of the people I know w hov e s een it s ay its kind of av er age though. Of c our s e ther e w as one mov ie that has c ome out, pos t new y ear s , that has a lot of people talking. Its the new Will Smith mov ie; I A m Legend. I w ent to s ee that on Satur day night w ith my mate Gar r y . The mov ie didnt get of f to a good s tar t though. Ther e w as no queue f or the c inema. Note, I didnt s ay ther e w as nobody w aiting to go into the c inema I s aid ther e w as no queue. It w as like tr y ing to boar d a Jets tar f light an abs olute dogs br eakf as t. People w er e bar ging other s out of the w ay as ev er y one began their ques t to f ind the bes t s eat in the hous e. Onc e the c inema door s opened, it w as like the r unning of the Bulls , only w ith popc or n, c hoc tops and c oke f ly ing ev er y w her e. Luc kily I w as near the f r ont s o I managed to w eav e my w ay pas t the f at people and ner ds to ac tually get a pr etty good s eat. Only one pr oblem, on my lef t w as a high s c hool c ouple that w er e mor e inter es ted in s tudy ing f or their nex t biology c las s than w atc hing the mov ie. So, I dec ided Id tr y and r uin their mood, s o the public dis play s of af f ec tion w ould c eas e. I s tar ted talking loudly to Gar r y about us eles s gar bage, c ompletely ir r elev ant c onv er s ation. I s hif ted in my c hair , took of f my s hoes , c ommandeer ed the ar mr es t all the us ual things that y ou hate the per s on in the s eat nex t to y ou to do. But y ou know w hat? It w or ked! Not only did they s top making out w ith eac h other , they s hif ted s eats altogether . Y ouv e got to lov e it w hen y our plan ends up s uc c eeding mor e than y ou had or iginally env is aged. So it w as now time f or the mov ie to s tar t. A nd y ou know w hat? It w as aw es ome. The s tar t of the mov ie s et the tone of the r es t of the f ilm r eally w ell. No mus ic , jus t Will Smith making his w ay thr ough a des er ted and ov er r un New Y or k. Hav ing been ther e r ec ently I hav e to s ay that the s pec ial ef f ec ts r oc ked my f ac e. Time Squar e as a ghos t tow n looked f antas tic , as did the r es t of the f ilm. Gr eat times . Then of c our s e ther e w as the added hor r or element. If y ou hav ent s een it, I s ugges t y ou s top r eading and c ome bac k onc e y ou hav e c aus e Im about to giv e aw ay a dec ent plot detail. Y ou s ur e y our e ok? I Am Legend w as unquestionably the best film of the 07/08 Christmas period Nicholas Cage failed to deliver in the National Treasure sequel The big movies normally hit screens on Boxing Day

Y ou s ur e y our e ok? A lr ight, I think w er e good. The f les h eating humans w as a gr eat mov e. What els e c ould they hav e done w ith the f ilm any w ay ? So hes by hims elf in New Y or k. Who c ar es ? Unles s how ev er , he has to s ur v iv e agains t s omething r idic ulous ly s c ar y . A nd I w ill s ay that w atc hing Will Smith and his dog hav ing to s ur v iv e agains t mutated f les h eating humans s c ar ed the c r ap out of me. A f ter the f ilm as I w as w alking bac k to my c ar ( in pitc h blac k of c our s e) I had to keep c hec king ov er my s houlder f or s omething that w as tr y ing to guz z le my blood. Good times . Bes t s c ene of the mov ie? Its a no c ontes t. When the dog is c has ing the deer and s uddenly v eer s of f into the dar k r oom. When Smith s ear c hes f or his dog in the pitc h blac k r oom, it legitimately s c ar es the c r ap out of y ou. Y ou hav e no idea ther e ar e f les h eating people r ound the c or ner either ! It r eminded me a lot of a f ilm I s aw las t y ear c alled The Des c ent. I dont think Iv e ev er s een a mor e mes s ed up mov ie in the his tor y of c inema. A bunc h of gir ls go c av ing only to f ind their ex it has been bloc ked of f . The r es t of the mov ie f ollow s them tr y ing to f ind a w ay out, how ev er their plans ar e der ailed by f les h eating mutants that s ubs equently pic k of f the gir ls one by one. Its gor y , bloody , and by f ar the s c ar ies t mov ie I'v e ev er s een. In a w or d: aw es ome. Now , Im a pr etty emotionally detac hed per s on es pec ially w hen it c omes to mov ies . The f ac t that I A m Legend c ould s uc k me in and make me not only c ar e about w hat happened to the c har ac ter s ( the dogs f ate f or ins tanc e w as s er ious ly bad times ) but get me f r eaked out by the human s ur v iv or s as w ell, is tes tament to how w ell it w as made. Nic e w or k! So, looking bac k at the s ummer mov ie lineup, w hats my r ev iew ? Ov er all: bad times . I A m Legend s houldv e c ome out on Box ing Day , bec aus e it may hav e s av ed the Xmas f ilm lineup. Sadly , it didnt and ther ef or e c ouldnt. It w as like going to the Oly mpic s and f inding out that both the s w imming and athletic s had been c anc elled. Either that or going to a c onf er enc e only to f ind out that Julia Gillar d is giv ing the key note addr es s . Bad times . Ser ious ly bad times .. Clic k her e to email Dy lan about the abov e c olumn. Clic k her e to go bac k to the homepage.

'Descent' w as by far the scariest film I've ever seen