BodyLanguagevs.

Negotiating

Sumbiosis / Thinkpieces

Content
Keyconsiderations................................................................................................ Kindsofnonverbalmessages.............................................................................. Impactofverbalandnonverbalmessages........................................................... Readingbodylanguage......................................................................................... Controllingbodylanguage.................................................................................... Controllingandreading: 3 4 5 6 8

Facialexpressions.......................................................................................................... 9 Eyemovements............................................................................................................. 10 Gestures........................................................................................................................ 11

Lyinganddetectinglies........................................................................................ Mutualinfluence.................................................................................................. Mimicry................................................................................................................ Bodylanguageandculture................................................................................... Sources..................................................................................................................

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KeyConsiderations
Wecommunicatefarmoreinformationtootherpeoplethanis conveyedbyourwordsalone. Muchofthiscommunicationislessthanfullyconscious.Many behaviorsarenotdeliberate,norareweawareofperforming them.Likewise,whileweareallaffectedbythebehaviorof others,wedonotfullyappreciatehowitshapesourown perceptionsandemotionalstate. Whenpeopletalktogether,thecontentofwhattheysay usuallycorrespondstothetoneoftheirvoice,thepostureand gesture.Whentheyfeelthatthereisadiscrepancybetween verbalandnonverbalmessages,mostpeopletendtogive moreweighttothenonverbalcues.
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KindsofNonverbalBehaviors
Facialexpressions Eyemovements Physicalgestures Paraverbal cues(toneofvoice,pitch,emphasis,inflection, volume,rateofspeech,pronunciation) Posture Personalspace(i.e.:aportableterritorywithinvisible boundariesthatexpandorcontractdependingonthesitua tion;individualscarryitaroundwiththemconstantlyand positionthemselvesinconversationinawaythatwill maintainit)
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ImpactofVerbalandNonverbalMessages
Apersoncanconveyvaryingdegreesofimpactbysimulta neously usingwords,facialandvocalexpressions,posture, andgesture. Experimentalresultshaveledtothefollowingequation1:
Totalimpact=7%verbalimpact+38%vocalimpact+55facialimpact

Ifthefacialexpressionisinconsistentwiththewords,facial expressionwilldominateanddeterminetheimpactofthe totalmessage.Orifthevocalexpressionhappensto contradictthewords(e.g.sarcasm),theformerdetermines thetotalimpact.

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Thisequationregardingtherelativeimportanceofverbalandnonverbalmessageswasderivedfromexperimentsdealingwith communicationsoffeelingsandattitudes(i.e.,likedislike).Unlessacommunicatoristalkingabouttheirfeelingsorattitudes,these equationsarenotapplicable! 5

ReadingBodyLanguage:InGeneral(1)
Thechallengetoreadingtheinternalthoughtsandfeelingsof otherpeopleisnotthelackofevidence.Theproblemisits abundance.Microexpressions,gestures,postureandtoneof voicearepartofacascadeofinformationthatcomesforth wheneverweinteract. Negotiatorsdonothavealotoftimetodiscernsubtle meanings;theyhavetointerpretextremelyquicklythesignals sentbytheircounterparts,whileneedingatthesametimeto becreative,persuasive,etc. Negotiatorsmustthereforebemindfulofbroadpatternsof behaviorandnotfutilelytrytointerpreteachandevery signal.
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ReadingBodyLanguage:InGeneral(2)
Negotiatorswho(...)managetolookforandlistentononverbal cueshaveadistinctadvantageindealingwithotherpeople. Theyaremorelikelytoknowwhenayesmeansrealcommit ment toadealandwhenitissaidwithreservation;theycan distinguishrealthreatsandpromisesfromthosewhichareonly bluster;andtheycanspotconfusionandunspokenanger,and thusdiffusedifficultsituationsandbuildtrust.Peoplethus skilledatreadingnonverbalcommunicationmaydoitintuitively, buttheydonothavesomespecialESP[1].Theyaresimplyalert tobehaviorsthattherestofusoftenoverlookormisinterpret.
Wheeler/Nelson,p.2 [1]ESP:Extrasensoryperceptionisthepurportedabilitytoacquireinformationbyparanormalmeans independentofanyknownphysicalsensesordeductionfrompreviousexperience.
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ControllingBodyLanguage:InGeneral
Weshoulddowhatwecantoprojectourselvespositively,but weshouldsteerclearofstagygambitsandmannerisms.Most areofquestionablevalue.Ourowndiscomfortattryingtobe someoneelsewilllikelyleakoutandundermineour credibility. Facialexpressionscancertainlyrevealspecialemotions; however,theintensityofthoseemotionsshowmoreinbody language.Itisquiteeasytokeeptheexpressionofspecial emotionsandattitudesononesownfaceundercontroland thustohidethem.However,suchfeelings(mostlythenega tive ones)haveatendencytomovetowardsourhandsand feet,becauseweobviouslyhavemoredifficultiesinkeeping themundercontrol.
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ControllingandReading:FacialExpressions
Eventhoughstrongbiologicalandsocialforcestrigger nonverbalbehavior,peopleactuallycanmasktheirfeelings ratherwell.Infact,theveryactofcoveringthemupmayserve todampenthem. Whilewemayexercisesignificantselfcontrol,however,hints ofemotionscanleakoutinwhatiscalledmicroexpressions. Thesearefleeting,involuntary,andoftenunconsciousfacial expressionsthatoccurwhenemotionsstimulatecorrespon dingfacialmuscles.Peoplecanbetrainedtorecognizesignals thatmaylastonlyatenthofasecond.

ControllingandReading:EyeMovements
Researchindicatesthatspeakerswhothemselvesmaintaineye contactwhilemakingarequestachieveahigherrateof compliancethanthosewhobreaktheirgaze. Manypeoplealsoregardeyecontact(morespecifically,the lackofit)asanindicatorofapersonscredibility,but surprisingly,thisbeliefiscontradictedbyresearch.Thereare manybenignreasonswhysomeonemightavoidsteadyeye contact.Somearepersonal- e.g.:shynessoralackof confidence- whileothersaresocialorcultural. Asageneralrule,oneshouldbecautiousaboutreadingtoo muchintootherseyebehavior.
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ControllingandReading:Gestures
Gesturesresultfromacomplexmixofwhatwearephysically feelinginthemomentandwhatwethink(scratchingones nosemayindicatedisagreement,butmayalsobeanindication ofanitchynose!).Theyalsoreflecttheexpressivenormsthat wehavegrownupwith. UponhisarrivalatameetingwithRichardNixonin1973, LeonidBrezhnevraisedhisarmshighinawaythatmany Americansinterpretedtobethegestureofabrashvictor, whentheSovietleadermeanttosignalopenfriendship. Behavioralchangesoverthecourseofameetingmaybe significanthowever(e.g.:whenapreviouslyanimatedperson becomesmoresubdued).
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LyingandDetectingLies
Fourfactorsenhancetheabilitytoliewithoutgettingcaught: priorpracticeorexperienceintellingsimilarlies;lackofguilt aboutlying;confidenceinbeingabletodeceivesuccessfully; naturalabilitytodeceive. Experimentsonbehavioralliedetectionhaveindicatedthat observerscandetectacommunicator'slieswithabovechance accuracy,andthatdetectionaccuracymaybeenhancedwhen observerspayspecialattentiontocertainvocalandbody movementcues.Observer'saccuracyindetectingattempted deceptionisusuallybetterthanchance,thoughnotveryhigh: Whenthechancelevelofdeceptiondetectionis50%,actual accuracytypicallyisabout55%;itusuallydoesnotexceed 60%.
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MutualInfluence
Whatwethink,feel,anddoisinextricablyboundupwiththe correspondingthoughts,feelings,andactionsofour counterparts.Specifically:
Ourownphysicalbehaviorbothinfluencesandreflectsthebehaviorof peoplewithwhomweinteract. Thatbehaviornotonlymanifestsourinternalfeelings;italsoaffectsour emotionalstate. Ouremotionalstate,inturn,shapeshowweperceivepeopleandissuesin thenegotiationprocess.

Decodingnonverbalcommunicationthusis notamatterof translatingisolatedgestures.Afarmoreinterestingprocessof mutualinfluencetakesplace.

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Mimicry
Inconversation,peopletendautomaticallyandcontinuously tomimicandsynchronizetheirmovementswiththefacial expressions,voices,postures,movements,andinstrumental behaviorsofothers. Actionsarenotallthatarepassedfromonepersontothe other.Feelingsmigratejustaspowerfullybecauseofthe constantinterplaybetweenphysicalandemotionalstates.For example,studieshaveshownthatwhenstrangersareseated facingeachotherinsilence,withinaminuteortwo,themost expressiveofthethemtransmitshisorhermoodtotheothers withoutawordbeingspoken!
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Mimicry (cont.)
Thetransferoffeelingsisimportantbecausetheycolorhow weseetheworld.Aristotlehimselfobservedthatfeelingsare conditionsthatcauseustochangeandalterourjudgments. Thenegativeattitudeofonemembercanleakovertoothers inagroup,andstifletheircreativity.Bycontrast,researchers havefoundthatanupbeatenvironmentfostersmentaleffi ciency,makingpeoplebetterattakinginandunderstanding information,atusingdecisionrulesincomplexjudgmentsand beingflexibleintheirthinking.

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BodyLanguageVs.Culture
Facialexpressionsarenot learnedbehaviors,specificto particularsocialenvironmentsandcultures. Expressionsforbasicemotionssuchashappiness,sadness, anger,fear,surpriseanddisgustareuniversallyrecognized. Whereverontheearth,whenshownphotographsofmenand womenmakingavarietyofdistinctivefaces,peopleagreeon whatthoseexpressionsmean. Cultures,however,mayhavedifferentnormsdictatingwhois permittedtoshowwhichemotions,towhom,andwhen.

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Sources
PeterJ.DePaulo,BellaM.DePaulo,CanDeceptionbySalespersonsandCustomersBeDetectedThrough NonverbalBehavioralCues?,JournalofAppliedPsychology,1989,19,18,pp.15521577 MalcolmGladwell:TheNakedFace Canyoureadpeoplesthoughtsjustbylookingatthem?,TheNew Yorker,August5,2002(a) FriedrichGlasl,Konfliktmanagement Ein Handbuch fr Fhrungskrfte,Beraterinnen undBerater,Verlag PaulHaupt,Bern/Verlag Geistesleben,Stuttgart AlbertMehrabian:SilentMessages,Wadworth PublishingCompany,Inc.,Belmont,California MichaelA.Wheeler,DanaNelson:NonverbalCommunicationinNegotiation,HarvardBusinessSchool, Note,ProductNumber9903081(b)

(a) (b)

http://www.gladwell.com/2002/2002_08_05_a_face.htm http://harvardbusinessonline.hbsp.harvard.edu/b02/en/common/item_detail.jhtml?id=903081&referral=2340

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