Supreme Court Researches Naked Body Scanner By Alan Prest

January 24, 2011

alanprest@eyeopeningventures.com

INT. U.S. SUPREME COURT - DAY The Supreme Court is in progress. The CHIEF JUSTICE speaks.

CHIEF JUSTICE To assess the case of Tina Hiney and Frank Seymour vs. the United States of America, the court will adjourn so members can experience Transportation Security Agency passenger screening. Chief Justice bangs the gavel. INT. AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING AREA - DAY The Chief Justice stands before Justices ALITO, THOMAS and SOTOMAYOR. CHIEF JUSTICE Who wants to be screened first? JUSTICE ALITO I will. ITALIAN SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC plays as black robed Samuel Alito saunters to the security scanner, a hulking machine. When he stops, Alito THRUSTS his hips back and forth several times in spastic fashion. A TSA AGENT starts the scanner. The machine makes LOUD BUZZING NOISE and a BREEZE blows Alitos robe to his mid-calf, where his support socks can be seen. After the buzzing stops, the scanner flashes "Micro Penis." An embarrassed Alito slinks away. CHIEF JUSTICE Next? Justice Clarence Thomas steps forward as PORN MUSIC plays. Thomas remains expressionless. The machine BUZZES and a BREEZE blows his robe up to his knees, exposing his penis (which is blocked out by a blurred circle). The scanner flashes "Long Dong Silver." The robot like Thomas smiles ever so slightly, then moves deeper into the security area. CHIEF JUSTICE Madame, after you?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: SOTOMAYOR Gracia, senor.

2.

HOT LATIN music plays as she steps forward, her robe unzipped enough to see her cleavage. The male TSA agent wrings his hands in anticipation. Instead of stepping in front of the machine, Justice Sotomayor whispers to the TSA agent, who turns and screams aloud. Opt out! TSA AGENT We have an opt out!

THREE TSA AGENTS rush over. They hurriedly escort Sotomayor away. The Chief Justice looks around nervously. CHIEF JUSTICE It looks like Im the only one left. As he walks uncomfortably forward, PEE WEE HERMAN MUSIC plays. Chief Justice Roberts stops in front of the naked body scanner. Hes trembling and sweating profusely. The BUZZING NOISE is prolonged. The agent seems concerned. He calls on his radio. TSA AGENT Cant get a reading. TSA SCANNER EXPERT (O.S.) Crank it up to 100 times magnification. TSA AGENT Its already there. The machine utters a LOUD POP and BELLOWS SMOKE. The reading says "Nano Penis." Roberts seems slightly relieved the ordeal is over. He wanders deeper into the security area where he finds Justice Sotomayor smack in the middle of THRONGS OF PASSENGERS. She is being felt up by two men in TSA jackets. The taller white man is working Sotomayors boobs, while a short, stocky black man explores her thighs and crotch. They turn their heads toward the Chief Justice, revealing the men to be Justices Alito and Thomas. JUSTICE ALITO The hands on portion is most stimulating. Justice Thomas nods his head, with an ecstatic look on his face. Sotomayor has her arms in the air. Here body is shaking wildly and she has a shocked look on her face. (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

3.

CHIEF JUSTICE I think weve learned alot. INT. U.S. SUPREME COURT - DAY Chief Justice Robersts BANGS the gavel. CHIEF JUSTICE The court reached a verdict in the case of the TSA vs. Seymour-Hiney. The Court rules 5-3 in favor of the TSA. We have an odd vote total due to Justice Sotomayors opting out of the case. Ill get her vote added when she is discharged from psychiatric care. Alito you take Dulles, while Thomas and I head to Reagan. Adjourned!