A Motivational Story.

It's fun to be god, actually. Find me a guy who has conceived both Stephen Hawking and Megan Fox. Thats all one needs to do to find me, and people do all sort of crazy stuff. Humans. Humph. So today I am going to tell you a story. So hang on and pray. And no one, I repeat NO ONE asks my name.

It was probably 3-4 gazillion seconds after the big bang. Yes, it all started with the big bang, Happy? So, there I was creating stars, and planets, and nebulas, and black holes, and dark matter, and I know what else. There, in that crazy, I saw a tiny rock (my tiny equals to somewhere about 1010 times the size of your sun), right at the edge of the galaxy, trying to woo a star.

It was a funny sight I tell you. I usually dont get a chance to see the courtship a lot often, but that was my lucky day. The star was beautiful. She was one of the newer ones I made, Hydrogen pumping through her veins; she could well have been Mont's muse. And she didn't give the little guy a penny for his thoughts. There weren't many tricks in the trade back then, but still he was trying every one of them, but alas to no avail.

And as a quintessential love story, we had a sad song. I seriously hate these parts in your films, and you guys need to work on it. I mean who the hell laments for lost love nowadays. Wear a fastrack, "Move On!!!" The guy sang for what was like ages, and then I had to intervene. After all I was god. The guy told me his name was Planet, a stupid name for planet, but whatever, the guy was lovesick. And then I told him my story.

I was always the god. But I never thought that I could create things so beautiful, that even after a 150 billion years, I am still spellbound by it. I was a god, yes but I wasn't a creator. In those days we still did not have television; we had books. I came across one, "7 effective ways of highly effective gods". I threw it out of the window. You could relate

me then with your song, that emptiness one, a foolish song, but still. I will bet my top dollar to Mr. W H Davies; life with all the time to stand and stare is pretty dumb actually.

In the end I started making things. I started with the small one. The mesons, gluons, somethin-uons, and what not. And I failed. Miserably. It so happened I found out later, that what I had been working with was radioactive decay left out by a civilization in a parallel universe where someone else was god. Pollution was a big issue even then. I messed up everything and all I was left up with was an infinitesimal size of particle with all the mass of the universe.

This happened after I had spent, some 10 whole minutes on calculations. So I was pretty much depressed and heartbroken. Then I sang a sad song, (this is naivety, and nothing else) which filled the void for a very long time. Then I tried something foolish, I said aloud, "Let there be Light", and since I was god there was light all around, but the universe was still there sulking in an infinitesimal particle.

Tolkien would have given me some "sound" advice, but still since he would not have born if I had not made the universe, waiting would be pointless. I was god, and I was helpless. So I decided to use my only lifeline, PANIC. I screamed and shouted every spell ever known to me at that damn little piece of everything; still it didn't budge an inch.

I went to the local library to find a book on making a universe, but since I had to make one for there to be a book on it, my search was futile. Somebody told me to make deep chanting sounds, but that only led to gastroenteritis. A genius architect advised me to make plans, and sheets and iso-s, and axo-s, and sections of the universe, balderdash. Dammit, I even ran a computer simulation, but it turns out I am not a very good programmer.

I was god, I was sad, I was depressed, and I could not make a universe. And Baba Ramdev was busy fighting for some stupid bill.

Then Planet asked why was I telling him all this. I hate when people interrupt when I am talking. The link gets broken. This time though it was helpful. Because thats when I remembered, that when I was mixing the gamma particles with the alpha mesons, my phone went off. Which is Galaxy S 929786 (running android 376.72) by the way. The phone's ring must have broken my link. So I trashed the phone, Samsung was anyways releasing the new model next week and they always send me a review model. Then I started working again.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled. Something happened then. The universe was born. I just lacked the catalyst the first time. Foolish, foolish, foolish of me. That is how my dear planet Planet, the world was born.

Planet than justly asked, why the hell was I telling him all this. He screamed at me, pulled his hair, and also sent a passing meteor at me, but in essence his question was this. Why me? Then I answered in the cryptic language all preachers and teachers use when they don't know the answer. I told him because it was his destiny.

At this he flared up. That little tiny tot of a planet flared up at me. He accused me of being a partial god. Of making things they cant possible acquire, of making them set goals no one of they could possibly achieve, and making them believe in things as foolish as life, destiny, hard work and luck.

I smiled. He was angry. And that was all I wanted. I wanted him to get angry at the universe. I wanted him angry with me. I wanted him angry with himself. Everything is yours to take, I told him. If you fall down, you may once have a hand to get you back up, but then you may not. If you are sad, I told him, someone could get you a pint of beer, but sometimes you have to laugh it off yourself.

Nobody can motivate you as you yourself can. Motivations come not from books, not from movies, not from songs, not from idols, not from me aka GOD; it has to come from YOU.

Then Planet asked again, BUT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?

I told him, "Because I told this story to the girl I liked".

He asked, like everyone else, "phir kya hua?"

"I am God. But some people are atheists."

Then I left.