PARENTS AND CHILDREN (4): AN HONORABLE INVESTMENT (Ephesians 6:1-4) INTRODUCTION Benjamin Leese, fifteen, who teaches Sunday

school class for the third-graders at Trinity Lutheran Church, East Berlin, Pennsylvania, asked his students: What is a prophet? One young boy quickly replied, When someone makes a good investment. Well I want to tell you how to make a good investment this morning. I want to tell you how to invest in your parents with a guaranteed great return. God says in Eph 6:1-2, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2) Honor your father and mother. Honor your father and your mother. Its a good investment with a guaranteed return.

So far in our study of Eph 6:1-3, weve looked at I. The Recipients (children -- exalted by God by inclusion) II. The Responsibility (to obey, the action; and honor, the attitude) Today we look at the reason and the reward for obeying and honoring. III. The Reason The reason? Why obey and honor? God gives a twofold answer because it is right and because it is Gods will. It is what nature teaches us and it is what God teaches us. Why obey and honor? A. It is right Verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. In the Lord (Gods will), for this is right (natures example). When Paul says, for this is right, he is saying obedience to parents is in accord with the natural order of things natural law. Every known culture has had a respect for parents because God has built it into our hearts. It is right. In the beginning, kids are helpless without obedience. Even as they mature, they dont have Mom and Dads experience. Theyve been around the block a few more times. This is natural law. A basic rule of life. Even in the animal world, the parents care for the offspring feed it, protect it, teach it. The young disobey at their own peril. Obey, for this is right. Where does this universal inclination come from? God built it in. The Bible speaks of this natural law in Romans 2:14-15, For when Gentiles, who do not have the law (the written law, that is), by nature do what the law
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requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. Obedience is written into our conscience. We dont even need Gods written revelation. We just know we should, even when we dont. Lack of respect is a sign of decadence and degeneration. In Romans 1:30 Paul places disobedience to parents at the very apex of the decadence to which people go as God gives them over to a depraved mind (Romans 1:28). To disobey and dishonor parents, however naturally such behavior may come to a child, is to live against the natural order of every civilization. We have to rationalize disobedience something our society is very clever at doing. We become like Tom who went into a pub and ordered a beer. He drank half, then threw the rest at the bartender. Tom apologized, explaining it was a compulsion hed had for years that embarrassed him terribly. The barkeeper told him to see a psychiatrist and warned him not to come back until he had done so. Sometime later, Tom was back. He ordered a drink, drank half and threw the rest all over the bartender. I told you not to come back here until youd seen a shrink about your compulsion! the bartender yelled. I have been seeing one, Tom replied. Well, it hasnt done any good, roared the dripping bartender. Yes, it has, said Tom. In what way? Im not embarrassed about it anymore. Rather than help us live right, our society tries to get us over the guilt of wrongdoing, but it never can. It is right to honor and obey ones parents, and no amount of psycho-babble can change that. B. It is Gods will Back in verse 1, Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. We are picking up the little phrase in the Lord. What does it mean to obey in the Lord? Two verses will help. The first is Deut 5:16 where Moses repeats the fifth command by saying, 16) Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you. As the Lord commanded you. In other words, do it, if for no other reason, because God said so. That is the ultimate reason for obeying and honor parents it is Gods will. This is clarified further in Col 3:20, Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. This is not only the apex of reasons to obey parents. It pleases the Father. Isnt it great to please Dad? I was very young when I began driving the tractor on our farm first to pull hay wagons, but later to do other things, like plow. One day early in my plowing career, Dad came out and told me
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my rows were crooked. There was no GPS in those days. I was disappointed. Thought I was doing a great job. How to do better? Dad said, See that fence post at the end? Aim for that all the way and youll have a straight line to work from. When he later complimented me on my rows, I was ecstatic. I got it right. Dad was pleased. Obeying and honoring parents pleases our heavenly Father. Obey your parents in the Lord. Know what that means? It means they speak for God. Doesnt mean you cant respectfully discuss their request, but at final decision time, they speak for God. That doesnt mean they are perfect, but they are Gods instrument in your life. Parents are Gods stewards -- His proxy authority for their children who are simply loaned to them in trust by their own heavenly Father. That is why children are commanded, Obey your parents in all things, for this pleases the Lord (Col. 3:20). The only exception to that obedience is in the matter of doing what is wrong. Every believer should refuse to do anything that is clearly against Gods will as taught in Scripture. He should say as Peter and John did in Acts 4:19-20, Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge. You have a pass only if you are asked to directly violate Gods revealed law. Otherwise, obey in all things. We fear when Gods will puts us under anothers authority, dont we? But that is where faith has to come into play even for young people. Listen Gods will is always always in our best interest. It is always the place of ultimate security, joy, happiness, fulfillment and eternal reward. Always. Do you think for one moment that your Father would sell you out to something that would rob you of joy, or harm you or minimize you in some way do you think so little of His love? So, when He says Obey and Honor, can it lead to other than our good? Vance Havner, the great old southern evangelist and long-time Billy Graham associate once observed, "Faith will not always get for us what we want, but it will get what God wants us to have." Let that soak in for a moment. Faith will get us what God want us to have and by definition that will be the absolute best! An old Persian king needed a faithful servant. He paid two candidates and set them to work filling a basket with water from a nearby well, promising to return in the evening. After dumping a bucket of water into the basket and watching it run out, one man gave it up as useless. The other answered, But we have our wages, havent we? The use is the masters business, not ours. But the first man threw down his bucket and left. The other man
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continued until he had drained the well. At the bottom, he saw something shining that proved to be a diamond ring. Now I see the use of pouring water into the basket! he exclaimed. If the bucket had brought up the ring before the well was dry, it would have been found in the basket. Our work was not useless. And, Beloved, I promise you that our work of obeying and honoring our parents will not be in vain either. That is the one and only place of ultimate security, safety, peace, joy, fulfillment, honor and nobility. The only place. Gods will. IV. The Reward

Verse 2: Honor your father and mother (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Two promises attach to honoring parents things will go well with you and long life. Lets take long life first. A. Long Life . . . that you may live long in the land. That was originally addressed to Jews regarding life in Israel. But now Paul applies the principle to all who honor parents. So, will I automatically live to 100 if I honor Mom and Dad? Not necessarily. This is a generalization, not a specific. But it does mean that honoring parents opens the door for God to provide you the best in terms of quality and length of life. This is a consistent message in the OT. Deut 4:40, Therefore you shall keep his statutes and his commandments, which I command you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may prolong your days in the land that the Lord your God is giving you for all time. To get all God has for you in the here and now, keep His commandments and especially, honor your parents. Dont short-change yourself. Get Gods best for you. You assure maximum length of life by obedience. If you require constant discipline, youll shorten your life. Honoring father and mother will naturally remove us from some danger we would otherwise get into and will thus prolong our life. You cant dismiss that part of the promise. Disobey and play in the street shorter life expectancy. Do drugs in disobedience to parents reduced life expectancy. But more is at stake here. God sometimes allows judgment to fall earlier than later in physical death. Leviticus 10 tells how 2 priestly sons of Aaron,
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Nadab and Abihu, offered strange fire something that violated the very specific instructions of God for sacrifices. Lev 10:2, And fire came out from before the Lord and consumed them, and they died before the Lord. If you dont think Gods holiness is an awesome thing, you havent been paying attention. God doesnt give commands just to hear Himself talk. A later priest, Eli, who raised Samuel, had two sons of his own who were profane. They stole the choice meat from sacrifices and they seduced the girls who came to help serve at the tabernacle. Eli confronted them in I Sam 2:25, If someone sins against a man, God will mediate for him, but if someone sins against the Lord, who can intercede for him? But they would not listen to the voice of their father, for it was the will of the Lord to put them to death. Exactly what God did through the Philistines is in 4:11. Beloved, God is serious about the command to honor father and mother. That doesnt mean that everyone who dies young was dishonoring God or parents. But God is establishing the principle, and the principle is to get Gods best, you have to give your best. Disobedience puts us on an invisible tightrope over Niagara Falls. Ananias and Sapphira died on the spot for a small lie in Acts 5. Remember Pauls admonition to the Corinthians? Seemed like a small thing that they were getting a little tipsy during Communion and depriving their poor brothers of their own sumptuous feast. Not so bad, was it? Yet Paul says in I Cor 11:30-32,That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. 31 But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. In every way imaginable, God is reminding us that to obey His commands is an investment, not just in the life to come, but even in this life. To get Gods best you must give your best. Dont short-change yourself. B. Things will go well This is rather a general statement. But it suggests a couple of things. First, there is a natural benefit, generally, to obeying parents. Children who obey their parents instruction not to play with fire are just naturally going to have things go better than those who dont. Natural benefits. Parents, with their much broader knowledge and experience regularly warn children from harms way. Those who obey will on average experience less accidents and physical trauma from dangerous things like high places, sharp objects, moral issues, trouble with authority the list goes on and on, right? Things go better for those who obey as opposed to those who dont.
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Obedient kids avoid trouble. The elementary school we attended as kids had been abandoned by the time we got into junior high school. But we still often went down and played ball in the schoolyard. In time some of the kids starting throwing stones, breaking the windows for fun. I resisted for months, and Mom and Dad warned us against it. But temptation came in the form of a friend. He convinced me nobody cared. After all, people had been throwing at those windows for months by that time with no repercussions. It looked fun. I succumbed to temptation, picked up my stone and added my window to the list. Two days later, Bob Johnson was at our doorstep. Bob Johnson -- the truant officer and I knew exactly why he was there. I dont know how many windows Dad had to replace, but I know it cost me plenty in terms of time and money to help out. Things go better for those who obey. Those who obey and honor are doing Gods will. That means that God does not have to discipline to pull them back into line. What happens when youre on an athletic team and you fail to pay attention to the coaches will about how to do something? McNeff, give me 30 pushups or thatll cost you 10 laps whatever. Adversity is added to inspire my obedience next time. And no one is more persistent than God at reining in sinners. He is relentless! That doesnt mean that obedient people dont suffer. Jesus was unfailingly obedient, yet suffered greatly. But He never had to suffer extra like us -- just to get back on track. Things go well for obeyers! Disobedience puts us on a track of dire consequences. Three times Exodus 21, Lev 20 and Deut 21, God prescribes the death penalty for persistent disobedience. The death penalty. That would be an indication of things no going so well, wouldnt it? You could be a cattle thief and not get the death penalty. You could lie and cheat and steal and swear and not get the death penalty. Why is God so dead serious about honoring parents? Why? Does He want to take all the fun out of life? Is He a control freak? Why? Its because He realizes how basic this is to all of life. He realizes that your absolute best shot at personal happiness, honor, nobility and eternal reward is to learn obedience. But He also knows that societal structures in general are based on the twin towers of authority and submission. If its not learned at home, the culture is doomed. And He knows one other thing. He knows that if you will not obey your parents, you will never obey Him either. And thats far more devastating than the death penalty. Prov 20:20 says, If one curses his father or his mother, his lamp will be put out in utter darkness.
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Dear friends, that is the threat of eternal separation from God. Hell awaits the ultimately rebellious. The likelihood is that a child who cannot learn submission to parental authority will never learn submission to God. Honor your father and mother is a momentous command. The future is not bright for those who disobey. Prov 30:17, The eye that mocks a father and scorns to obey a mother will be picked out by the ravens of the valley and eaten by the vultures. It may not happen today, and it may not happen tomorrow, but sooner or later there is a day of reckoning for disobedience. The 21st century views God as a wimpy, spineless, powerless benevolent deity. Hes that nice little guy in the sky who loves everybody and would never harm a fly. Really! Listen -- He does love us with an everlasting, undying, compelling love, but He is not wimpy, not powerless and not mocked. And He loves people enough that eventually, if they insist, according to Rom 1, He gives them up to their reprobate ways -- one of which is disobedience to parents. That ought to scare the bejeebers out of all of us. God says to Solomon in I Chron 28:9, And you, Solomon my son, know the God of your father and serve him with a whole heart and with a willing mind, for the Lord searches all hearts and understands every plan and thought. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will cast you off forever. Habitual, continual disobedience to parents could be a sign that God has already said, Enough. You are on your own. Believe me you dont want to be there. But there is good news. There is the gospel. Obedience is a safe place. Obedience leads us to humility and confession of sin and redemption. Obedience may cause you a little grief now and then, but nothing like the heartache you will find if you take your life into your own hands. Prov 6:20-22, 20) My son, keep your fathers commandment, and forsake not your mothers teaching. 21) Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22) When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you. Look at those promises. They will lead you guidance. They will watch over your protection. They will talk to you guidance again. And notice that they will do this awake or asleep at all times. It may not seem like it at the moment Mom and Dad are saying, No, you may not do that, or wear that, or go there. But every instruction of your parents is like fastening a seat belt. Its like the control tower that issued an instruction: Flight 1234, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees. Pilot: Roger, but we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here? Tower: Sir, have
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you ever heard the noise a 707 makes when it hits a 727? Do you get the point? The pilot thought he knew all there was to know about his surroundings at 35,000 feet. Who could tell him differently? Turned out the control tower saw danger he could not see. Just like parents and God. Invest in obedience to parents and even more importantly, to God. The promised reward is long life and that things will go well here and in eternity. Dont shortchange yourself. How can we honor our parents? Here are six quick ideas to help us apply this passage of Scripture. 1. Listen carefully to what parents say. Dont assume you know what they will say or why. Ask questions and seek clarity. 2. Make your concerns known in a rational, considered manner without whining, complaining or clichs like Everybodys doing it, or Everybodys going, or Youre making me look like a jerk. 3. If appropriate, suggest alternatives that would be acceptable to you and still address their objectives. You can only do this if you have first listened carefully. 4. Abide by their decision graciously, not in a grudging or intemperate manner. Youll be surprised how this opens doors another time. 5. As a teen-ager, be part of the family. Our society urges you to isolate yourself in your own teen subculture. Youll be amazed how much a little give and take helps. 6. As an adult, do everything possible to put yourself into your parents shoes. Even if you must go against their wishes, demonstrate that you care for and respect their feelings. God bless us all as we seek to obey and honor parents and above all, Him.