10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace: Tenth Secret

Tenth Secret: Wisdom is Avoiding All Thoughts that Weaken You

You are what you think is a truism. If our mind is plagued with negative thoughts, we become a product of that negativity. Dyer opens the chapter with an example of kinesiology. When we hold up our arm and say a lie, our muscles go weak and we dont even know it. When we tell the truth, our muscles are emboldened and remain strong. I tried this in the past, and I was shocked that it worked. At the time I did not even know what was going on but it happened, and I was flabbergasted. Dyer says if such a simple test can prove to be such a devastating force to our muscle capacity, how do consistently negative thoughts that course through our brains affect our bodies. Obviously, they wear us down. When we are focused on peace, love and happiness, that is where we will reside. When we are entrained on hatred, anger, pettiness, and resentment, our hearts and minds will be aligned in such a way. If we believe that we will get the flu this season, we probably will. If we dont, we probably wont. We are a sum total of all our thoughts. We are truly what we think. Avoid all thoughts that weaken you, and be strengthened by all good thoughts that can enliven you. Dyer cites a book entitled A Course in Miracles that divides all thoughts/beliefs/energies in this world into either love or fear. With this simple dichotomy, we can envision every thought we have as something that can either strengthen us with love or destroy us with fear. There are no neutral thoughts. Instead of a fearful, anxious mind, we should replace those thoughts with love, peace, joy, and happiness. Choose your thoughts, and choose them wisely.

Ninth Secret: Treasure Your Divinity

We are so ensnared in our mortal coil that we cannot see past it. We cannot see the grandeur and beauty that surrounds us. In short, we cannot see our own divine nature that has been given from a divine source. We are lost in the mundane. We are a product of this world. We are a consequence of habitual thought. Dyer exhorts us to see our divine nature and to be in touch with divine presence. He imagines God (not necessarily a defined entity but a divine inspiration for the world or however you choose to believe in that divinity) to be like the ocean. We are a cup of water from that ocean. When we are part of that ocean, we are alive and vital and activated by that source energy. When we take that cup of water out of that ocean, it will eventually evaporate and return to its source. We are all a part of a divine presence. We just may not look at that part of us on a day-to-day basis. When we see the divinity within us, we can be the very best of who we are because we entrust that we are divine creatures and not earthbound animals scrounging around for our daily bread. When we meditate in silence, when we offer our peace and love to

others, we can be in touch with our divine spirit and we can be grateful for that enlightened part of all of us. Comments This is a wondrous statement. We have all heard of the law of attraction, espoused by Rhonda Byrnes in her famous book and film, The Secret. However, Dyer goes beyond The Secret in many of his thoughts. We do not attract what we want to attract; we attract what we already are. We must be focused on who we want to be as if we are that thing or person already. If we want peace in our life, we must see ourselves already as the embodiment of peace. Similarly, if we want a peaceful relationship with someone else, we must see that person as a peaceful individual. When we say we want peace, that is not enough because wanting is a state of absence. That is the very definition of want. We must visualize that we already have it and that we are already there. In short, we set our intention for where we want to be. When we set our intention toward a goal, our unconscious mind drives us toward completion of that goal effortlessly and at the appointed time. We follow forward toward our destination without labor or hardship. Whatever we want to be or want to become, we should see ourselves as a finished image of that self.

Seventh Secret: There are No Justified Resentments

Opens this chapter with a story of how he sat in on an Alcoholics Anonymous group and heard one person blaming someone else for his or her woes. But a sign reminded the individual that In This Group, There are No Justified Resentments. At our lowest consciousness, we blame everyone around us for everything because it certainly could not be our fault. We look toward others and see that they are the ones that caused all of our current problems. In fact, our society supports this blame-oriented thinking. It is certainly the lowest level of consciousness. But, of course, I am justified to think a certain way. Dont you understand the way that I have been treated? Dyer relates a story of a person who always turned the other cheek in the face of great, apparent adversity and harsh criticisms. Someone asked him, How can you do what you do? The individual replied, Quite easily, if someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does that gift belong? If you do not accept the invective, who does it belong to? Dyer cites the humorous but truthful expression, Your opinion of me is none of my business. After we let go of blame, the next level of consciousness is to offer in return to all: peace, love, forgiveness, and compassion no matter what. That is a much more profound level of consciousness that we all can aspire to attain. The first step however is letting go of blame. If we cannot even do that, then we cannot move onward and upward to returning beauty to all in any situation.

Sixth Secret: You Cant Solve a Problem with the Same Mind that Created It
This is something that we have discussed in a previous blog series dedicated to Eckhart Tolles work. This beautiful paraphrase of a quote by Carl Jung is worth repeating herein. When we are petty and angry, we cant solve the problem facing us by remaining petty and angry. In fact, being petty and angry probably caused the problem to arise in the first place. When we raise our consciousness, we may at once extinguish the current problem and limit the intrusion of future problems. Dyer talks about three levels of consciousness. The first level of consciousness is ego. When we are enamored with acquiring more toys and being better than our neighbor, we are fully ensconced in our ego. When we must have a certain reputation that defines who we are so that we can flaunt our egoistic self, we are a victim of ego mentality. The ego level is consumed with self. I like Dyers idea that ego really stands for Edging God Out. In the second level of consciousness, we are entrained to think like a group, or a clan. We are Democrats so we think a certain way, and I am proud that I voted for I work for a bomb-making factory. I dont believe in bombs but that is what my line of work tells me to believe. I am part of a gang. I follow their commands. I am Asian so I think in a certain way. Group consciousness moves beyond the self but is a very similar level of consciousness since we are beholden to a certain groups mentality no matter at what price. The third and highest level of consciousness is known as mystical consciousness where labels like Asian, Hispanic, Republican, American, Southerner, etc. fall away and we are left with more universal associations like human. We disavow separateness and are joined by our commonality. When we approach this level of consciousness, we will see the petty desires and foibles of our lower conscious selves begin to melt away.

Fifth Secret: Give Up Your Personal History

Dyer uses the metaphor of a boat to explain how we unfortunately see our lives and how we should see our lives. Every boat has a wake behind it. However, the wake does not control the boat. It is just a trail of foam that has no bearing on the direction the boat is taking. However, our wake, i.e., our past, is oftentimes something that we use to define who we are today. Well, I had a troubled childhood. My parents divorced so of course I am having difficulty today. My husband left me for another woman. That explains where I am now. I never finished college so, of course, I cannot succeed today. Our wake should not control our boat. It cant. We too often look at the labels that we impose upon ourselves to define who and what we can be. Whatever limitations our past imposes on us we allow them to flourish so that we are stifled and cannot be a product of our limitless, current selves. We are not our wake. We are the boat. All we have is the present time, as Eckhart Tolle admonishes in The Power of Now. We are only where we are now.

The opposite can also be true of our past. Well, it was certainly a happier time for me then. I long for the good ol days. I was happy then. Today not so much. We cannot and should not be our past. When we live in our past, we are a product of a deathly present. We must see the glory of right now, this moment, the very breath that we take, the shining time of now of where we are today, thats it. Dyer says when we are eating our appetizer, we should not be thinking of dessert. When we are eating dessert, we should not be thinking of what we just ate. We are too often all over the place because our minds are not still but hurried and preoccupied. Be here now and relinquish your past, all of it.

Fourth Secret: Embrace Silence

Our modern culture is brimming with noise: cell phones, email, loud rock concerts, 5.1 surround movies, screaming children, bickering spouses, and other ringing types of cacophony. When we still our hearts and our mind for a moment, we can tap into our creative soul, refresh our spirits, and find God. The book of Psalms in the Old Testament says, Be still, and know that I am God. Mother Theresa said that God dwells in the world of silence as evident by just looking at the stars and the moon and the quiet growth of green grass. We can find divinity in quiet, meditative moments. If we do not have programmed times for meditation, we can always steal a moment of silence when possible. Dyer talks about quieting his energy and embracing the silence at a stopped traffic light. Those 2 to 3 minutes can offer a respite and a revitalization rather than what it typically does, which is annoyance through our impatience. We can sit silently at these unappointed moments to work ourselves into a more peace and enlightened state. Dyer says there is no such thing as a bad meditation. Any meditation can be a time for us to achieve quiet healing in our body, our heart, and our mind. Just writing these blogs silently on my flight to San Diego for my Fall meeting is already a type of quiet meditation. We all can find that peace through a tranquil retreat into silence, no matter how brief or trivial that moment may appear to be at the time.

Third Secret: You Cant Give Away What You Dont Have
When we think of giving something away, we think of a finite repository of items where what we give will deplete us. For example, if we have 10 oranges and we give 10 away, we will in turn have none. However, that is not the case with love, passion, and compassion. When we give those away, we get a lot more in return. However, those of us who are empty cannot give anything away. If our lives are filled with hatred and misery, that is the best that we can do for others. When we realize that when we fill our own cups, that cup will spill over to others then we can do so much more than we could have imagined in our lifetime.

Dyer walks the reader through Carl Jungs four archetypes. The first archetype is the athlete who is entranced with his own physical body and how it looks and functions. The second archetype is the warrior who is in charge of conquering the world through mental acuity and domineering prowess. The third archetype is the statesman who is interested in turning his life towards the service of others. The fourth archetype is one of pure spirit, who lives a spiritual life free of the fetters of this world. Dyer talks about how a life of spirit and a life of service can provide meaning for our lives and a purpose that is more grandiose than one of ambition, accumulation, prestige, respect, and all the trappings that we associate with our material existence. He talks about how we can achieve a greater good that can drive our happiness when we fill our cups so that we can in turn fill the cups of others.

Second Secret: Dont Die with the Music Still In You

I have listened, read, and watched a lot of Wayne Dyer. He has often recited a story of when he was about to go on a long journey overseas and his uncle handed him a copy of Leo Tolstoys short stories with one of the tales being The Death of Ivan Ilyich in which the protagonist announces at the end of his life, What if my whole life has been wrong?, a profound sentiment indeed. If we live our lives to the beat of someone elses drums, we will end that life without much satisfaction and a lot of questions about how our meager existence transpired (and expired) on this earth. Should we wait until we are near death to question why we are alive? That is probably a bit too late. It is funny because I have for many years pictured myself on my deathbed, and I have always wanted to die in peace. I wanted to know that my life had substance, passion, and that the music I created was a melodious tune. I am innately a right-brained individual who follows his own emotions and intuition more than anything strongly analytical or left brained. Dyer asks all of us to follow our right brains, i.e., our intuitions, and our hearts. When our life is extinguished, I hope all of us can say that we did not let the music die within us. (By the way, I just learned on Friday that Dyer was diagnosed with leukemia. Please keep him in your prayers. He is at the Chopra Center receiving spiritual healing for his illness.) Comments OpenYourMind Wayne Dyer provides a never-ending source of inspiration and guidance for me. He has melded my professional and personal lives seamlessly because they are truly now one. My intention in life is to leave someone whom I encounter better off than before I met them. My goal in short is healing: healing for me, healing for my loved ones, my friends, my acquaintances, for the world, and for those whom I have not had the honor to meet yet. Dyers short and simply book, 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace

provides a simple recipe to live ones life, and I am happy to record some of his thoughts comingled with my own. He disavows the success in this book not as one of how to get more money, get more respect in a job, how to get a person to love you but something much more substantive than any of these three. How to attain peace and happiness in our lifetime but through different channels. I hope you attain as much joy and happiness as I have done just reading his work and interpreting it.

First Secret: Have a Mind That Is Open to Everything and That Is Attached To Nothing
Arent we a product of our environment? If our parents were Republicans, we then to lean to the right. If our parents were Democrats, we may gain a favorable disposition to that party. If we were raised in a religious household, we may espouse certain beliefs. If we were raised in a Jewish household, we probably would not be devout Muslims. How often does our gender, race, age, country, etc. confine our beliefs and opinions so that when someone says something we are already offering a closed judgment. We do not sit to consider its merits because we are who we are. Dyer espouses that we should all be open-minded individuals who can think and accept ideas that are presented to us without early closure, prejudice, dismissal, and bias. By opening your mind and listening instead of shutting off the other person, we may gain valuable insight despite our color, creed, age, religion, politics, gender, orientation, and a whole host of other biases and self-imposed limitations. His second part of the first secret is not to be attached to anything. This can mean both in terms of physical objects but also preprogrammed thoughts. When the only way to think of a subject is as a Republican then we must shut out anyone and everything that collides with this belief. We simply cannot entertain another way. We are closed. When we are attached to physical pleasures and amenities we are slaves to them because we must have those creature comforts to be who we are. We are our car, our house, our clothes, etc. We cannot see that attachment to things, ideas, etc. makes us a closed off individual with barriers between us and our fellow humans. Today open yourself to new ideas, new thoughts, new adventures, new people, etc.