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question asked by hasiff ibrahim from malaysia on 8-sep-2007.

title:
hadith of husbands calling their wives to bed, does it apply to men & women?

question:

in sahih bukhari volume 4, book 54, number 460:

it is stated:

narrated abu huraira:

allah's apostle said, "if a husband calls his wife to his bed (i.e. to have
sexual relation) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the angels
will curse her till morning." i have heard one muslim speaker who contended that
according to the arabic grammar the pronouns in here and other similar hadiths,
are general and applies to both sexes i.e the hadith should be more accurately
be translated as "if a person calls his/her spouse to his/her bed....."(perhaps
like the word assalamualaikum refers to both sexes & not just to males) this
would be in line to islamic justice and the order to treat the wife fairly and
to fulfill her needs. is this interpretation correct?

answer:
the arabic text of the hadith is as follows:

?? ??? ????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?????
?????? ??? ????? ???? ???? ????? ????? ?????? ???????? ??? ????

-bukhari number 3065

i think the arabic words used in the hadith (????? and ?????? ) are very clear
and need no interpretation. the hadith refers very clearly to a "wife" that
refuses to go to bed with her "husband". if the hadith really meant to apply to
both spouses then instead of such clear expression, other expressions like ???
could be used. i therefore cannot agree with the opinion expressed in your
question.

however, it should be noted that the above interpretation of this hadith (if
assumed authentic) does not violate islamic justice (as implied in the question).
the hadith does not say that only the wife should submit to her husband's wishes.
the qur'an (al-baqarah 2:187) makes it clear that husband and wife are like
garments for each other, in particular when it comes to sexual desires. this
simply implies that both husband and wife are to fulfil the sexual desires of
each other in order to protect each other from evil instigations, just as a
garment protects one from being exposed. the reason this particular situation is
mentioned in the hadith is only because it was an issue at the time of the
prophet. looking at the above mentioned verse of the qur'an, i can say with
confidence that if the opposite situation were an issue at the time of the
prophet (pbuh), the hadith too, would have referred to the reverse situation.

it should also be noted that the hadith does not imply that a wife is to fulfil
the sexual desires of her husband under all conditions. the hadith only applies
to situations where the wife rejects her husband with no sound reasons. islam is
not after fulfilling one's rights by violating another one's rights. when
looking at these types of ahadith, the general spirit of islam should always be
taken into consideration.

abdullah rahim
september 9, 2007

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