Evan Kalikow 10/27/08 Engl 030 Section 8 Argument of Definition Audience College Students at Penn State Venue Article

cle in The Daily Collegian An Article of Epic Proportions Okay, I have had it with epic. Every day, I see my friends and peers using the word with no concern for what it means. I hear people shouting, Dude, that was an epic high five! or, Hey bro, that Dave Matthews concert was epic last night! or even, Man, did you take that Bio test yet? It was so epic. Have we forgotten our roots, people? We must stop this dangerous trend of misusing the most powerful of words. If not, the word could refer to a rooms carpeting or the drying of fresh paint by the next generation (or even worse by next week). Lets start by painting a picture. Odysseus, one of the greatest Greek heroes from the Trojan War, has been traveling back from the war to his homeland of Ithaca, where he has been missing in action for ten years. Along the way, he encounters the most evil of adversaries, from a giant Cyclops to a group of enchantresses to even Poseidon, the god of the sea himself. Odysseus overcame all of these adversities over a period of ten years. After which, he was finally able to return home, after being absent now for twenty years. He came home to the sight of dozens of suitors trying to whisk away Penelope, Odysseus wife. Like any man would be, Odysseus was furious, but unlike most men, he did not keep his emotions bottled up like a pansy. Rather, Odysseus murdered every single suitor who even attempted to win Penelopes hand in marriage. After bathing in the blood of his enemies and reuniting with his estranged son, Odysseus copulated with Penelope, many times. This is the story of Homers renowned epic poem, The Odyssey.

Or, perhaps, we can look at the story of Beowulf. He had to fight against Grendel, a gigantic, hideous beast that had devastated Geatland for much too long. Beowulf, however, met the challenge and not only killed Grendel but ripped off his arms and beat him with them. No one would mess with Beowulf unless they were serious masochists, suicidal, or both. Cut to fifty years later. Beowulf, a king in his late eighties, learned that a dragon was ravaging his kingdom. Most kings would just send an army in after the dragon to kill it or drive it away. Not Beowulf, though. He went to the dragons cave himself, with only a small band of supporting soldiers and witnesses. Although he died in the process, he was still able to destroy the dragon. Remember now, he was in his late eighties. In our modern society, people stop working in their mid sixties. Beowulf was over twenty years older than the average American retiree and he was still not only working but kicking copious amounts of ass. But I digress. Both Beowulf and Odysseus are widely considered to be epic heroes. They surpass what is widely considered to be humanly possible and overcome all odds to defeat adversity. Their journeys and tales are awe-inspiring, causing men to emulate them and women to try and sleep with them. Nobody is out of line calling these stories and these heroes epic. But when you measure their feats up to events that happen in your everyday life, do you really have any right to use epic so freely? Okay, maybe Im wrong. Maybe that high five you gave to your friend yesterday in the hallway really was epic. Perhaps you had to travel for decades in order to get to that hallway, slaughtering thousands upon thousands of demons along the way that were blocking you from sweet hand-to-hand contact with your most treasured comrade. It is possible that he went through similar tasks, crushing the skulls of enemies and solving daring puzzles of logic just for the mere opportunity to meet you in the hallway to deliver a symbolic gesture of the utmost importance. In

a case like that, a high five truly would be epic. Chances are, though, when epic is used so freely, it often does not apply. Furthermore, this trend could give way to freer use of the word, and that is truly scary. Think about the progression of the word epic. It was first used to describe the types of heroes like Odysseus, Beowulf, Hercules, Achilles, King Arthur, or even Aragorn from the recent Lord of the Rings series of books and films. In addition, it described poems and stories like The Odyssey or The Iliad. Today, it is used almost as a synonym of great or cool. In the future, its meaning could degrade even further. Perhaps epic will be synonymous with fine or okay. At this rate, the overuse of epic will have an irreversible effect on the way the word epic is viewed, and its original meaning will be cast into the figurative realm of mitigated vocabulary to join such words as awesome or dynasty. I know what you may be thinking. Youre just living in the past, man! Language evolves over time! True, language does evolve. In fact, there are even modern day figures that could be described as epic, albeit in a less murderous fashion when compared to classic epic heroes. Consider Michael Phelps, the swimmer who won America eight gold medals at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Beijing, China. His story is quite epic. Phelps, invoking the spirit of Hercules himself, had to overcome eight trials in order to qualify for the Olympic Games, swimming against some of the best swimmers. After his trials, Phelps then qualified for the Olympics, where his challenges would be even greater. He adopted a strict workout and exercise regimen, acquiring so much energy that he would have to consume six times as much food daily as the average human. He eventually made it to the Olympics and not only won more gold medals than any single Olympic athlete in the history of the games, but he shattered world and Olympic records by seconds (a considerable margin when it comes to swimming).

In his Olympic struggles, Phelps displayed all of the characteristics of an epic hero. He overcame intense odds, displayed superhuman abilities and skills, and conquered all that stood in his way. Men want to be him, and women think that he is drop dead gorgeous (am I right, ladies?). The story of Michael Phelps is, in all senses of the word, epic, yet he is from a modern time. He is living proof that one can still be epic, even without literally being a Homeric hero like Odysseus. It is inevitable that all words will be redefined over time. That is simply how language works. But the trend in the redefinition of the word epic scares me. A word so powerful that it can only describe what surpasses human power and scope is now being used to describe twenty second videos on the internet or somebody tripping down a flight of stairs. I plead that we all stop using epic so freely and instead take careful notice to the words usage, using it only in rare cases to describe that which is truly epic. If we do not, the meaning of the word will certainly be lost, and our societys lexicon will continue to shrink. Besides, in comparison, that which we call epic is incredibly lame when put next to the classics. The next time you eat a bowl of ice cream and declare it epic, think about Odysseus slaughtering dozens of men after searching for his wife for ten years and ask yourself this question: Is it? Is this really epic? The answer should be a resounding No.